• Divorce statistics

facebook

Causes Of Divorce: 19 Of The Most Common Reasons

About Brette Sember, JD | Divorce.com

By Brette Sember, JD Updated Mar 15, 2024

What are the most common reasons for divorce? Of course, this is a subjective question, as the reasons people get divorced are as varied as the reasons they fall in love.

However, certain issues arise more often: conflict, infidelity, poor communication, incompatibility, and a lack of romantic intimacy. Even though the overall divorce rate is decreasing among adults aged 16 to 65, approximately 45% of marriages in the US still end in divorce.

Read on to learn about the 19 most common reasons people decide to divorce.

What Are The Most Common Causes of Divorce?

According to various studies, the four most common causes of divorce are lack of commitment, infidelity or extramarital affairs, too much conflict and arguing, and lack of physical intimacy. The least common reasons are lack of shared interests and incompatibility between partners.

The 19 Most Common Reasons for Divorce

1. too much conflict, incessant arguing.

Constant conflict, bitter battles, and going to bed angry every night are no one’s idea of a healthy marriage.

"How you handle conflict is the single most important predictor of whether your marriage will survive."

How long could you stick it out when your home – which is supposed to be your place of peace and release from the daily grind – is more stressful than your worst day at work? In a good marriage, your spouse is your partner, your shelter from the storm, and your number-one cheerleader when you’re down.

In a high-conflict marriage, your spouse is as emotionally dangerous as a terrible boss. Unless interrupted by marriage counseling or therapy, this negative spiral will continue downward until the only place left to go is divorce.

Related Reading

2. Lack of Commitment

A happy and healthy marriage requires commitment from both spouses. Unfortunately, it only takes one spouse with a lack of commitment to the relationship to doom the marriage. If one partner isn’t fully committed to the other, then the marriage will eventually suffer.

Sometimes, the spouse who is still committed to the relationship believes they can singlehandedly save their marriage if they work harder at it. After all, if they put in 200% while their spouse puts in 0%, that equals 100% – right?

When their marriage inevitably ends, after the shock and disbelief have worn off, their rage at being used and taken for granted during the relationship may lead to a very difficult divorce.

angry woman arguing

3. Infidelity / Extramarital Affairs

Being cheated on by the person who vowed to remain faithful to you forever is a bitter pill to swallow, and most people consider this to be an unforgivable offense. Infidelity doesn’t always lead to divorce, but it does destroy how you see your relationship.

Discovering that your spouse has been engaging in an extramarital affair makes you ask three questions:

  • Can my marriage survive this betrayal?
  • Can I ever trust my spouse/partner again?
  • Am I willing to work on my marriage, or is my partner’s infidelity the last straw?

The answer to these questions depends on whether both of you are willing and able to repair your relationship – almost certainly with the help of a marriage and family therapist (MFT) .

To rescue your relationship, you will have to forgive your partner – and your partner will have to make a genuine apology and commit to acting to end their cheating for good. If you have been drifting apart, focus on reconnecting rather than pointing fingers and playing the blame game.

4. Lack of Emotional and/or Physical Intimacy

Emotional and physical intimacy “grease the wheels” of a smooth-running relationship. When they’re gone, however, serious relationship issues often take their place.

Communication breakdown, anger, resentment, sadness, loneliness, infidelity, and greatly diminished self-esteem are some of the most serious issues – and left untreated, they can irreparably damage a relationship and pave the road to divorce.

When emotional intimacy is low or non-existent, your sex life will probably suffer as well. When you feel emotionally distant or disconnected from your spouse, your marriage may become a sexless one.

To reignite the spark, try to remember why you fell in love with your spouse and consciously view them through those lenses.

Also, think about what you used to love doing together and carve out time to do those things together again. Spending quality time doing something you both enjoy can help rebuild emotional intimacy, leading to physical intimacy.

Emotional and physical intimacy is like super-glue to strengthen your love and marriage bonds.

5. Communication Problems Between Partners

A breakdown in the lines of communication is one of the biggest predictors of divorce. Couples who don’t communicate well cannot resolve issues together and tend to suffer more misunderstandings and hurt feelings than those who have learned how to resolve conflict respectfully.

Good communication is physical as well as verbal, and it is required for almost everything in a good relationship, including sex, a couple’s finances, whether or not to have children, areas of disagreement, and other sensitive topics unhappy couples deem too dangerous to discuss.

An inability to communicate turns problem-solving sessions into shouting matches, which will eventually kill love, intimacy, and respect in your relationship.

To make it through the inevitable tough times, you must be willing and able to talk about what’s wrong or not working and decide how to resolve these issues together.

“Being able to communicate well requires both good transmission skills (articulation) and good receptive skills (listening). Without both, communication will be, at best, difficult.”

6. Domestic Violence: Abuse by a Partner or Parent

Domestic violence can include any act of tangible or threatened abuse – including verbal, physical, sexual, emotional, and/or economic abuse. In such a relationship, one person gains or maintains power over their partner via a pattern of abusive behavior.

This abuse can be directed solely at a spouse, or it can also involve one or more children of the marriage. If you or your children are in immediate danger, call 911 now!

For 24/7 confidential help, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 (SAFE) or 1-800-787-3224 (TTY).

In October 2022, the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NCADV) and the National Domestic Violence Hotline (The Hotline) merged to form Project Opal .

For more resources, visit: https://ncadv.org/get-help

7. Opposing Values or Morals

There have been literal wars fought over differences in race, religion, nationality, and culture – and persecution based on all of these, plus gender, sexuality, and even which political party someone supports.

When two spouses have or develop opposing values and/or morals, and neither can or is willing to see things from their spouse’s point of view, the marriage is likely to end in divorce.

smiling girl and her boyfriend

She believes in a woman’s right to choose, and he believes life begins at conception; his best friend is gay, and his wife is homophobic. They fell in love despite their religious difference, but those differences are tearing them apart now that they have children.

When you’re in love, you tend to overlook or rationalize red flags that your core values and morals are too different for a healthy relationship – but when the rose-colored glasses come off, those differences make it difficult or impossible to sustain a happy marriage.

8. Addiction: Alcohol, Drugs, Gambling, or Sex

There are many different types and degrees of addiction, and many top professionals – politicians, businesspeople, doctors, lawyers, portfolio managers, actors, and athletes, to name a few – have been able to hide their addiction successfully as they rose to the top.

Their spouses may be blissfully unaware, willing to look the other way in return for lifestyle/economic benefits, or gaslighted into believing they’re crazy to suspect their spouse’s addiction. No matter how the moment of truth arrives, it is always shattering.

Whether the marriage can survive depends on several factors – including the addict’s willingness and ability to take responsibility for their addiction, a genuine desire to seek treatment, and a lifelong commitment to recovery.

9. Absence of Romantic Intimacy or Love

This one is far too common given how busy and stressful our lives are – especially when you add driving the kids to football/hockey/baseball/ballet/orchestra/theater/choir practice before and after school into the mix.

Too many couples prioritize everything except their relationships, and then one partner is blindsided when the other says, “I want a divorce.” Contrary to popular belief, romantic love is not self-sustaining: without carving out quality time for intimacy and fun as a couple – not just as a family – love withers like a plant without water or sunshine.

Create a weekly carved-in-stone date night. For example, go to bed, wake up earlier, and use the time for daily physical (cuddling and/or sex) and emotional intimacy. Remember what you loved doing while you were dating, then start doing those things again before it’s too late!

10. One Spouse Not Carrying Their Weight in the Marriage

We all know marriages like this: both spouses work full-time, but only one of them takes responsibility for grocery shopping and cooking, household chores, and child-rearing.

Over time, the spouse whose work doesn’t end when they get home can build up a powerful resentment against the other, and unless the situation is addressed and rectified, the marriage could spiral down into divorce.

Sit down and list everything that needs to be done to keep the household running smoothly. Then, place a name beside each task, making sure to divide the chores equitably.

Don’t forget to add your children’s names to tasks they are old enough to tackle or help with – from setting the table to washing the dishes to mowing the lawn to vacuuming the carpets.

“Not carrying your weight” extends to romance and intimacy; if one partner is the only one making romantic gestures, arranging date nights, or initiating sex, that will also take a toll on the marriage.

11. Financial Problems and Debt

Money has been tight for many couples over the last few years. Arguments about money can become nasty and vindictive – and if a couple lacks the communication skills to discuss their financial problems calmly and rationally, that can be a reason for divorce.

In a marriage, financial problems are not limited to carrying massive debt and/or being unable to cover necessities. When the way spouses think about money and debt – no matter how much or how little of it they actually have – are fundamentally incompatible, it can also cause the breakdown of a marriage.

If financial problems are your main issue, consider hiring an expert specializing in financial divorce issues. They could save money by recommending the most efficient property division, tax, and support strategies.

A divorce financial analyst can also provide scenarios extrapolating your cash flow and net worth 5, 10, or even 20 years into the future if you choose Settlement A vs. Settlement B.

12. Marrying Too Young

A study from the University of Utah suggests that the perfect age to get married is between 28 and 32 . This is because those who marry young most likely don’t fully grasp marriage. This could be a reason why a lot of young married couples get divorced.

About 46% of couples who get married young get divorced. Also, 48% of couples who marry before they turn 18 are most likely to get divorced in 10 years, compared to 25% of people who marry after the age of 25.

13. Lack of Shared Interests / Incompatibility Between Partners

Opposites may attract, but similarities are what bind. With no shared interests, you will either start spending less and less time with your spouse as you pursue your hobbies and passions or give them up in favor of your spouse’s interests.

Both of these strategies will build resentment and weaken the bond you share. If you hope to stay together, you will likely need marriage counseling and a willingness to compromise.

For example, if he loves bowling and she loves dancing, he could bowl with his buddies on Thursdays while she goes dancing with her girlfriends – and then they identify something they both love and do that on “Friday date night.”

This applies to every area of your shared life, from household chores to choosing which extracurricular activities their children will do. If you cannot reach a compromise that both of you can commit to, your incompatibility may lead to divorce.

14. Religious Differences

Religious beliefs and practices play a pivotal role in shaping an individual's worldview, values, and daily rituals.

When two partners come from different religious backgrounds, it can sometimes lead to disagreements on fundamental life choices, from dietary habits to child-rearing practices.

While many interfaith couples find ways to blend their beliefs and traditions, for others harmoniously, the differences can become a source of recurring conflict. The challenge often lies in reconciling deeply held beliefs and finding common ground, especially during significant life events or ceremonies.

In some cases, external pressures from family or the broader community can exacerbate these differences.

Religious differences can significantly lead to marital discord without open communication and mutual respect.

15. Parenting Differences

Parenting is one of the most rewarding yet challenging responsibilities a couple can undertake together.

Differences in parenting styles, stemming from individual upbringings, personal beliefs, or cultural backgrounds, can become a significant source of tension in a marriage. While one partner might advocate for a more disciplined approach, the other might lean towards a lenient and nurturing style.

These disparities can lead to disagreements, ranging from education choices to setting boundaries and disciplinary actions. As children grow and navigate different life stages, these differences can become more pronounced, especially if not addressed early on.

Effective co-parenting requires open communication, compromise, and a unified front. Without these, parenting differences can strain the marital relationship, leading to deeper misunderstandings and conflicts.

16. External Family Pressures

Marriage often means merging two families, bringing along a mix of expectations and traditions. External pressures from in-laws, cultural differences, or unsolicited advice can strain a marriage.

Balancing the couple's needs with extended family demands is crucial. Without clear boundaries and open communication, these pressures can lead to resentment, potentially pushing a couple toward divorce.

17. Unrealistic Expectations

Every individual enters marriage with a set of expectations, often shaped by personal experiences, societal norms, or portrayals in media. While some expectations are reasonable, others can be unrealistic, setting the stage for disappointment and conflict.

Whether it's about roles in the household, financial achievements, or emotional support, when reality doesn't align with these lofty ideals, it can lead to feelings of inadequacy and resentment. For a marriage to thrive, it's essential for partners to communicate openly, adjust expectations, and understand that perfection is unattainable.

Unrealistic expectations, if unchecked, can become a silent threat to marital harmony.

18. Trust Issues

Trust is the bedrock of any strong relationship, and its absence can create deep fissures in the foundation of a marriage. Trust issues can stem from past betrayals, misunderstandings, or personal insecurities.

Whether it's doubts about fidelity, financial decisions, or even smaller daily matters, a lack of trust can lead to constant second-guessing and surveillance. This atmosphere of suspicion can stifle open communication and intimacy.

For a marriage to overcome trust issues, it often requires open dialogue, understanding, and sometimes professional counseling. If not addressed, persistent trust issues can erode the bond between partners, making reconciliation challenging.

19. Supporting Each Other's Goals

In a marriage, individual aspirations don't disappear; they intertwine with shared dreams.

Supporting each other's goals is pivotal for mutual growth and fulfillment. When one partner feels their ambitions are sidelined or undervalued, it can lead to feelings of resentment and stagnation.

Whether it's career advancements, personal passions, or educational pursuits, acknowledging and championing these aspirations strengthens the marital bond. Conversely, neglecting or undermining a partner's goals can create a rift, making one feel unsupported or isolated.

Successful marriages often thrive on mutual respect and encouragement, ensuring both partners feel valued in their pursuits.

You May Also Like

https://dcom-protected-files.nyc3.digitaloceanspaces.com/dcom-protected/uploads/zinnia/2023/02/15/blog-02-08-2023-1.jpg?X-Amz-Algorithm=AWS4-HMAC-SHA256&X-Amz-Credential=R4CL33DMJANZLASKQ56W%2F20240410%2Fnyc3%2Fs3%2Faws4_request&X-Amz-Date=20240410T035543Z&X-Amz-Expires=3600&X-Amz-SignedHeaders=host&X-Amz-Signature=4fb6ae03a6759b094338c3651cd4ec6ab03cff1a5b26cf96d61ad2408ca1f0f6

Divorce Rates in the World: Divorce Rates by Country

https://dcom-protected-files.nyc3.digitaloceanspaces.com/dcom-protected/uploads/zinnia/2022/12/26/blog-12-20-11.jpg?X-Amz-Algorithm=AWS4-HMAC-SHA256&X-Amz-Credential=R4CL33DMJANZLASKQ56W%2F20240410%2Fnyc3%2Fs3%2Faws4_request&X-Amz-Date=20240410T035543Z&X-Amz-Expires=3600&X-Amz-SignedHeaders=host&X-Amz-Signature=65cc6114e88302e7b72199698137819ec95423e80c01bd6f3bd0ec9c63c4f37d

10 Professions With The Highest Divorce Rate [Updated 2024]

https://dcom-protected-files.nyc3.digitaloceanspaces.com/dcom-protected/uploads/zinnia/2022/10/28/blog-10-25-1.jpg?X-Amz-Algorithm=AWS4-HMAC-SHA256&X-Amz-Credential=R4CL33DMJANZLASKQ56W%2F20240410%2Fnyc3%2Fs3%2Faws4_request&X-Amz-Date=20240410T035543Z&X-Amz-Expires=3600&X-Amz-SignedHeaders=host&X-Amz-Signature=ab31ee82f76fe319097402ded87c92994bbe81c839a2b5f9736a43a80cb94aa4

50+ Divorce Statistics in the U.S., Including Divorce Rate, Race, & Marriage Length

https://dcom-protected-files.nyc3.digitaloceanspaces.com/dcom-protected/uploads/zinnia/2023/04/12/blog-04-05-2023-1.jpg?X-Amz-Algorithm=AWS4-HMAC-SHA256&X-Amz-Credential=R4CL33DMJANZLASKQ56W%2F20240410%2Fnyc3%2Fs3%2Faws4_request&X-Amz-Date=20240410T035543Z&X-Amz-Expires=3600&X-Amz-SignedHeaders=host&X-Amz-Signature=aff809218e5dfa75d343539d58bfdaa1f2a36c5a260533ba54ea7188057dc584

Divorce Statistics in Florida

https://dcom-protected-files.nyc3.digitaloceanspaces.com/dcom-protected/uploads/zinnia/2023/04/03/blog-04-01-2023-1.jpg?X-Amz-Algorithm=AWS4-HMAC-SHA256&X-Amz-Credential=R4CL33DMJANZLASKQ56W%2F20240410%2Fnyc3%2Fs3%2Faws4_request&X-Amz-Date=20240410T035543Z&X-Amz-Expires=3600&X-Amz-SignedHeaders=host&X-Amz-Signature=0fde6e087832410611a6af2f6e94e63e5270c1a56ba8c98c80171876d9be4b76

Your Guide to Do-It-Yourself Divorce

https://dcom-protected-files.nyc3.digitaloceanspaces.com/dcom-protected/uploads/zinnia/2023/03/15/blog-03-12-2023-3.jpg?X-Amz-Algorithm=AWS4-HMAC-SHA256&X-Amz-Credential=R4CL33DMJANZLASKQ56W%2F20240410%2Fnyc3%2Fs3%2Faws4_request&X-Amz-Date=20240410T035543Z&X-Amz-Expires=3600&X-Amz-SignedHeaders=host&X-Amz-Signature=dc6bbb85d5f6e0c691dc920e5d24ffee822d9bb420001d6f44b55a7d1956945a

What Is a Contested Divorce? Everything You Need To Know

https://dcom-protected-files.nyc3.digitaloceanspaces.com/dcom-protected/uploads/zinnia/2023/04/12/blog-03-12-2023-2.jpg?X-Amz-Algorithm=AWS4-HMAC-SHA256&X-Amz-Credential=R4CL33DMJANZLASKQ56W%2F20240410%2Fnyc3%2Fs3%2Faws4_request&X-Amz-Date=20240410T035543Z&X-Amz-Expires=3600&X-Amz-SignedHeaders=host&X-Amz-Signature=64792f79a3d336e331d0770da5324dab38ea9dfe53cb4818f17d12040ed0ed2c

Does It Matter Who Files for Divorce First?

https://dcom-protected-files.nyc3.digitaloceanspaces.com/dcom-protected/uploads/zinnia/2023/03/01/blog-02-23-2023-1.jpg?X-Amz-Algorithm=AWS4-HMAC-SHA256&X-Amz-Credential=R4CL33DMJANZLASKQ56W%2F20240410%2Fnyc3%2Fs3%2Faws4_request&X-Amz-Date=20240410T035543Z&X-Amz-Expires=3600&X-Amz-SignedHeaders=host&X-Amz-Signature=ec3a777a6a87df759ca62216c7130b87bfe97026cfbed5eaad2847ed2884765a

Divorce Statistics in Utah

https://dcom-protected-files.nyc3.digitaloceanspaces.com/dcom-protected/uploads/zinnia/2023/03/01/blog-02-20-2023-2.jpg?X-Amz-Algorithm=AWS4-HMAC-SHA256&X-Amz-Credential=R4CL33DMJANZLASKQ56W%2F20240410%2Fnyc3%2Fs3%2Faws4_request&X-Amz-Date=20240410T035543Z&X-Amz-Expires=3600&X-Amz-SignedHeaders=host&X-Amz-Signature=02c909bdd7518e089e78a775a2121d3c217cda979707f2d91ff81ad5d426b75c

Divorce Statistics in California

https://dcom-protected-files.nyc3.digitaloceanspaces.com/dcom-protected/uploads/zinnia/2023/03/01/blog-02-20-2023-1.jpg?X-Amz-Algorithm=AWS4-HMAC-SHA256&X-Amz-Credential=R4CL33DMJANZLASKQ56W%2F20240410%2Fnyc3%2Fs3%2Faws4_request&X-Amz-Date=20240410T035543Z&X-Amz-Expires=3600&X-Amz-SignedHeaders=host&X-Amz-Signature=875045f3c18a958a1e19e579f0107199746bbea9af8ab5cfb66bb852eaa01cda

Divorce Statistics in Texas

https://dcom-protected-files.nyc3.digitaloceanspaces.com/dcom-protected/uploads/zinnia/2022/12/26/blog-12-20-1.jpg?X-Amz-Algorithm=AWS4-HMAC-SHA256&X-Amz-Credential=R4CL33DMJANZLASKQ56W%2F20240410%2Fnyc3%2Fs3%2Faws4_request&X-Amz-Date=20240410T035543Z&X-Amz-Expires=3600&X-Amz-SignedHeaders=host&X-Amz-Signature=66fb81c30792a7435637bc9c47c3763fe888e4aa467f21779230ef337faf3da5

The Cheapest Way to Get Divorced

https://dcom-protected-files.nyc3.digitaloceanspaces.com/dcom-protected/uploads/zinnia/2022/12/26/blog-12-20-2.jpg?X-Amz-Algorithm=AWS4-HMAC-SHA256&X-Amz-Credential=R4CL33DMJANZLASKQ56W%2F20240410%2Fnyc3%2Fs3%2Faws4_request&X-Amz-Date=20240410T035543Z&X-Amz-Expires=3600&X-Amz-SignedHeaders=host&X-Amz-Signature=95ca388036fe89b9a375771461d6e146a8aab17aa6917788e827e39dfce61eca

The Different Types of Divorce

https://dcom-protected-files.nyc3.digitaloceanspaces.com/dcom-protected/uploads/zinnia/2022/11/16/blog-11-15-1.jpg?X-Amz-Algorithm=AWS4-HMAC-SHA256&X-Amz-Credential=R4CL33DMJANZLASKQ56W%2F20240410%2Fnyc3%2Fs3%2Faws4_request&X-Amz-Date=20240410T035543Z&X-Amz-Expires=3600&X-Amz-SignedHeaders=host&X-Amz-Signature=155b9303a62c61531d724709147d54cee3d5f8f371e0100ef4a9a51dff98c5b5

What Is an Uncontested Divorce? Everything You Need To Know

https://dcom-protected-files.nyc3.digitaloceanspaces.com/dcom-protected/uploads/zinnia/2022/10/28/blog-10-25-3.jpg?X-Amz-Algorithm=AWS4-HMAC-SHA256&X-Amz-Credential=R4CL33DMJANZLASKQ56W%2F20240410%2Fnyc3%2Fs3%2Faws4_request&X-Amz-Date=20240410T035543Z&X-Amz-Expires=3600&X-Amz-SignedHeaders=host&X-Amz-Signature=3ef5bfcff8d761f4d87edfc22bf113b9ab038d9e8fc29bb10baf3aacc016f79b

When to Walk Away After Infidelity: 7 Signs It Might Be Time To Leave

https://dcom-protected-files.nyc3.digitaloceanspaces.com/dcom-protected/uploads/zinnia/2022/10/04/blog-09-27-6.jpg?X-Amz-Algorithm=AWS4-HMAC-SHA256&X-Amz-Credential=R4CL33DMJANZLASKQ56W%2F20240410%2Fnyc3%2Fs3%2Faws4_request&X-Amz-Date=20240410T035543Z&X-Amz-Expires=3600&X-Amz-SignedHeaders=host&X-Amz-Signature=a3e2abad5a7a165f4ea6990088037569535048474209a95287b6ce4c0ed7aae2

Step-by-Step Guide: How To File for Divorce Online

https://dcom-protected-files.nyc3.digitaloceanspaces.com/dcom-protected/uploads/zinnia/2022/10/04/blog-09-27-7.jpg?X-Amz-Algorithm=AWS4-HMAC-SHA256&X-Amz-Credential=R4CL33DMJANZLASKQ56W%2F20240410%2Fnyc3%2Fs3%2Faws4_request&X-Amz-Date=20240410T035543Z&X-Amz-Expires=3600&X-Amz-SignedHeaders=host&X-Amz-Signature=b4e466d5889686b5e64ce4078429aaf6227867fea125cc94fa014ff3db2a31ee

How To Respond to Divorce Papers Without an Attorney

https://dcom-protected-files.nyc3.digitaloceanspaces.com/dcom-protected/uploads/zinnia/2022/10/04/blog-09-27-11.jpg?X-Amz-Algorithm=AWS4-HMAC-SHA256&X-Amz-Credential=R4CL33DMJANZLASKQ56W%2F20240410%2Fnyc3%2Fs3%2Faws4_request&X-Amz-Date=20240410T035543Z&X-Amz-Expires=3600&X-Amz-SignedHeaders=host&X-Amz-Signature=4706da573c61e0e8d9b532ac7ae45e2b6821940a244659c1363e8e20bc849d48

How To Start the Divorce Process: Step-by-Step

https://dcom-protected-files.nyc3.digitaloceanspaces.com/dcom-protected/uploads/zinnia/2022/09/22/blog-09-20-3.jpg?X-Amz-Algorithm=AWS4-HMAC-SHA256&X-Amz-Credential=R4CL33DMJANZLASKQ56W%2F20240410%2Fnyc3%2Fs3%2Faws4_request&X-Amz-Date=20240410T035543Z&X-Amz-Expires=3600&X-Amz-SignedHeaders=host&X-Amz-Signature=cead3c3cad23d7f0be8d4c9acc510073f3715dba8f90eac0ee4d7795198d767b

What To Do if You Can’t Afford a Divorce Lawyer

https://dcom-protected-files.nyc3.digitaloceanspaces.com/dcom-protected/uploads/zinnia/2022/09/22/blog-09-20-4.jpg?X-Amz-Algorithm=AWS4-HMAC-SHA256&X-Amz-Credential=R4CL33DMJANZLASKQ56W%2F20240410%2Fnyc3%2Fs3%2Faws4_request&X-Amz-Date=20240410T035543Z&X-Amz-Expires=3600&X-Amz-SignedHeaders=host&X-Amz-Signature=de4df763616895b5710490c19c02f3238870e502c5b68a4ef1dbd714b684c3aa

Can You Get Divorced Without a Lawyer?

https://dcom-protected-files.nyc3.digitaloceanspaces.com/dcom-protected/uploads/zinnia/2022/09/16/blog-09-12-9.jpg?X-Amz-Algorithm=AWS4-HMAC-SHA256&X-Amz-Credential=R4CL33DMJANZLASKQ56W%2F20240410%2Fnyc3%2Fs3%2Faws4_request&X-Amz-Date=20240410T035543Z&X-Amz-Expires=3600&X-Amz-SignedHeaders=host&X-Amz-Signature=680c05867227ac2d7eada4fc5b9c26581fbcb485bc9117b62ffdd8110616a6da

How To Get a Divorce With No Money: Low-Cost Divorce Solutions

Reduce time, cost, and conflict.

Learn about divorce online with Divorce.com

Request a call back

Fill out the form and our team will reach out to you..

When should we call you back?

Your request has been successfully submitted. We will call you back as you requested. In the meantime, you can check our resources page .

Become a Writer Today

Essays About Divorce: Top 5 Examples and 7 Prompts

Essays about divorce can be challenging to write; read on to see our top essay examples and writing prompts to help you get started.

Divorce is the legal termination of a marriage. It can be a messy affair, especially if it includes children. Dividing the couple’s assets also often causes chaos when divorce proceedings are in session. 

Divorce also touches and considers religion and tradition. Therefore, laws are formed depending on the country’s history, culture, and belief system.

To help you choose what you want to talk about regarding this topic, here are examples you can read to get an idea of what kind of essay you want to write.

1. Divorce Should Be Legalized in the Philippines by Ernestine Montgomery

2. to divorce or not to divorce by mark ghantous, 3. what if you mess up by manis friedman, 4. divorce: a life-changing experience by writer louie, 5. divorce’s effects on early adult relationships by percy massey, 1. the major reasons for divorce, 2. why i support divorce, 3. my divorce experience, 4. how to avoid divorce, 5. divorce and its effects on my family, 6. the consequences of divorce, 7. divorce laws around the world.

“What we need is a divorce law that defines clearly and unequivocally the grounds and terms for terminating a marriage… Divorce is a choice and we all should have the freedom to make choices… in cases where a union is more harmful than beneficial, a divorce can be benevolent and less hurtful way of severing ties with your partner.”

As the title suggests, Montgomery and his other colleagues discuss why the Philippines, a predominantly Catholic country, needs to allow divorce. Then, to strengthen his argument, he mentions that Spain, the root of Christianity, and Italy, where the Vatican City is, administer divorce. 

He also mentions bills, relevant figures, and statistics to make his case in favor of divorce more compelling. Montgomery adds that people who want a divorce don’t necessarily mean they want to marry again, citing other motives such as abuse and marital failure.

“Divorce, being the final step in a detrimental marriage, brings upon the gruesome decision as to whether a married couple wishes to end that once made commitment they had for each other. As opposed to the present, divorce was rare in ancient times…”

Ghantous starts his essay with what divorce means, as not only an end of a commitment but also the termination of legal duties and other obligations of the couple to each other. He then talks about divorce in ancient times, when men had superior control over women and their children. He also mentions Caroline Norton, who fought with English family law that was clearly against women.

“So even though G‑d has rules,… laws,… divine commandments, when you sin, He tells you: ‘You messed up? Try again.’ That’s exactly how you should be married — by treating your spouse the way G‑d treats you. With that much mercy and compassion, that much kindness and consideration.”

Friedman’s essay discusses how the Torah sees marriage and divorce and explains it by recounting a scene with his daughters where they couldn’t follow a recipe. He includes good treatment and forgiveness necessary in spouses. But he also explains that God understands and doesn’t want people in a failed marriage to continue hurting. You might also be interested in these essays about commitment .

“Depending on the reasons that led up to the divorce the effects can vary… I was fourteen years old and the one child that suffered the most emotional damage… My parents did not discuss their reasons for the divorce with me, they didn’t have to, and I knew the reasons.”

The author starts the essay by citing the famous marital promise: “For better or worse, for richer or poorer,” before going in-depth regarding the divorce rate among Americans. He further expounds on how common divorce is, including its legalities. Although divorce has established legal grounds, it doesn’t consider the emotional trauma it will cause, especially for children.

Louie recounts how his life changed when his dad moved out, listing why his parents divorced. He ends the essay by saying society is at fault for commercializing divorce as if it’s the only option.

“With divorce becoming more prevalent, many researchers have taken it upon themselves to explore many aspects of this topic such as evolving attitudes, what causes divorce, and how it effects the outcome of children’s lives.”

Massey examines the causes of divorce and how it impacts children’s well-being by citing many relevant research studies. Some of the things he mentions are the connection between the child’s mental health, behavioral issues, and future relationships. Another is the trauma a child can endure during the divorce proceedings.

He also mentions that some children who had a broken family put marriage on a pedestal. As a result, they do their best to create a better future family and treat their children better.

Top 7 Prompts on Essays About Divorce

After adding to your knowledge about the subject, you’re better prepared to write essays about divorce.

There are many causes of the dissolution of marriage, and many essays have already discussed these reasons. However, you can explain these reasons differently. For example, you can focus on domestic abuse, constant fighting, infidelity, financial issues, etc.

If you want to make your piece stand out, you can include your personal experience, but only if you’re comfortable sharing your story with others. 

If you believe divorce offers a better life for all parties involved, list these benefits and explain them. Then, you can focus on a specific pro of legalizing divorce, such as getting out of an abusive relationship. 

If you want to write an essay to argue against the negative effects of divorce, here’s an excellent guide on how to write an argumentative essay .

This prompt is not only for anyone who has no or sole guardian. If you want to write about the experiences of a child raised by other people or who lives with a single parent, you can interview a friend or anyone willing to talk about their struggles and triumphs even if they didn’t have a set of parents.

Aside from reasons for divorce, you can talk about what makes these reasons more probable. Then, analyze what steps couples can take to avoid it. Such as taking couples’ therapy, weekly family get-together, etc. To make your essay more valuable, weigh in on what makes these tips effective.

Essays About Divorce: Divorce and its effects on my family

Divorce is diverse and has varying effects. There are many elements to its results, and no two sets of factors are precisely the same for two families. 

If you have an intimate experience of how your immediate and extended family dynamic had been affected by divorce, narrate those affairs. Include what it made you and the others around you feel. You might also be interested in these essays about conflict .

This is a broad prompt, but you can narrow it down by focusing on an experience you or a close friend had. You can also interview someone closely related to a divorce case, such as a lawyer, reporter, or researcher. 

If you don’t have any experience with divorce, do not know anyone who had to go through it, or is more interested in its legal aspects, compiles different divorce laws for each country. You can even add a brief history for each law to make the readers understand how they came about.

Are you looking for other topics to write on? Check out our general resource of essay writing topics .

factors of divorce essay

Maria Caballero is a freelance writer who has been writing since high school. She believes that to be a writer doesn't only refer to excellent syntax and semantics but also knowing how to weave words together to communicate to any reader effectively.

View all posts

U.S. flag

An official website of the United States government

The .gov means it’s official. Federal government websites often end in .gov or .mil. Before sharing sensitive information, make sure you’re on a federal government site.

The site is secure. The https:// ensures that you are connecting to the official website and that any information you provide is encrypted and transmitted securely.

  • Publications
  • Account settings

Preview improvements coming to the PMC website in October 2024. Learn More or Try it out now .

  • Advanced Search
  • Journal List
  • HHS Author Manuscripts

Logo of nihpa

Reasons for Divorce and Recollections of Premarital Intervention: Implications for Improving Relationship Education

Shelby b. scott.

Department of Psychology, University of Denver

Galena K. Rhoades

Scott m. stanley, elizabeth s. allen.

Department of Psychology, University of Colorado – Denver

Howard J. Markman

The study presents findings from interviews of 52 divorced individuals who received the Prevention and Relationship Enhancement Program (PREP) while engaged to be married. Using both quantitative and qualitative methods, the study sought to understand participant reasons for divorce (including identification of the “final straw”) in order to understand if the program covered these topics effectively. Participants also provided suggestions based on their premarital education experiences so as to improve future relationship education efforts. The most commonly reported major contributors to divorce were lack of commitment, infidelity, and conflict/arguing. The most common “final straw” reasons were infidelity, domestic violence, and substance use. More participants blamed their partners than blamed themselves for the divorce. Recommendations from participants for the improvement of premarital education included receiving relationship education before making a commitment to marry (when it would be easier to break-up), having support for implementing skills outside of the educational setting, and increasing content about the stages of typical marital development. These results provide new insights into the timing and content of premarital and relationship education.

Divorced individuals, compared to their married counterparts, have higher levels of psychological distress, substance abuse, and depression, as well as lower levels of overall health ( Amato, 2000 ; Hughes & Waite, 2009 ). Marital conflict and divorce have also shown to be associated with negative child outcomes including lower academic success ( Frisco, Muller, & Frank, 2007 ; Sun & Li, 2001 ), poorer psychological well-being (Sun & Li, 2002), and increased depression and anxiety ( Strohschein, 2005 ). Given these negative outcomes of marital conflict and divorce, the overarching goal of premarital relationship education has been to provide couples with skills to have healthy marriages.

The Prevention and Relationship Enhancement Program (PREP; Markman, Stanley, & Blumberg, 2010 ) focuses on teaching appropriate communication and conflict skills, and provides information to help couples evaluate expectations, understand relationship commitment, and enhance positive connections through friendship and fun ( Ragan, Einhorn, Rhoades, Markman, & Stanley, 2009 ). Most research indicates that compared to control groups, PREP helps couples learn to communicate more positively and less negatively (e.g., Laurenceau, Stanley, Olmos-Gallo, Baucom, & Markman, 2004 ; Markman, Renick, Floyd, Stanley, & Clements, 1993 ), increases satisfaction, and reduces risk for divorce in the years following the program (e.g., Hahlweg, Markman, Thurmaier, Engl, & Eckert, 1998 ; Hahlweg & Richter, 2010 ; Markman & Hahlweg, 1993 ; Stanley, Allen, Markman, Rhoades, & Prentice, 2010 ). A few studies have shown more mixed or moderated results (e.g., Baucom, Hahlweg, Atkins, Engl, & Thurmaier, 2006 ; van Widenfelt, Hosman, Schaap, & van der Staak, 1996 ; Markman, Rhoades, Stanley, & Peterson, in press ). In an evidence-based tradition, the growing knowledge base can and should be used to generate insights about how to refine future efforts ( Stanley & Markman, 1998 ). One methodology that could improve PREP is to interview divorced individuals who participated in the program about their reasons for divorce and premarital education experiences in order to understand if the program covered these topics effectively.

Few studies have directly examined retrospective reports of reasons for divorce, particularly within the past two decades (see Bloom, Niles, & Tatcher, 1985 ; Gigy & Kelly, 1992 ; Kitson & Holmes, 1992 ; Thurnher, Fenn, Melichar, & Chiriboga, 1983 ) and no study, to our knowledge, has examined reasons for divorce in a sample of individuals who participated in the same relationship education program. Within a sample of divorcing parents, Hawkins, Willoughby, and Doherty (2012) found that the most endorsed reasons for divorce from a list of possible choices were growing apart (55%), not being able to talk together (53%), and how one’s spouse handled money (40%). Amato and Previti (2003) found that when divorced individuals were asked open-endedly to provide their reasons for divorce, the most cited reasons were infidelity (21.6%), incompatibility (19.2%), and drinking or drug use (10.6%). A statewide survey in Oklahoma found that the most commonly checked reasons for divorce from a list of choices were lack of commitment (85%), too much conflict or arguing (61%), and/or infidelity or extramarital affairs (58%; C. A. Johnson et al., 2001 ). International studies have found highly endorsed reasons for divorce to be marrying too young, communication problems, incompatibility, spousal abuse, drug and alcohol use, religious differences, failures to get along, lack of love, lack of commitment, and childlessness, to name a few ( Al Gharaibeh & Bromfield, 2012 ; Savaya & Cohen, 2003a , 2003b ; Mbosowo, 1994 ).

In sum, across studies some consistency exists regarding the importance of issues such as communication, incompatibility, and commitment as reasons for divorce, while other issues seem to vary across samples. Thus, it would be helpful to understand the reasons for divorce in former PREP participants in order to highlight specific areas that the program could have addressed better and in order to improve that program’s effectiveness. In addition, no study, to our knowledge, has asked divorced participants who all participated in the same premarital program to provide suggestions for improving relationship education programs based on their own experiences in the program and considering that their marriages ended in divorce. These results could be valuable for practitioners to consider in order to improve the PREP model specifically and relationship education efforts more generally. The current study qualitatively interviewed individuals who had completed PREP and later divorced about their premarital education, including what they wished would have been covered, as well as their marital experiences, particularly regarding their reasons for divorce. Therefore, this study sought to understand both participants’ reasons for divorce as well as how they thought relationship education could have better addressed their needs. The ultimate goal of the current study was to provide new knowledge on potential ways to help relationship education best prevent marital distress and divorce.

Participants

Data were collected from 52 individuals who received PREP premaritally but subsequently divorced at some point in the following 14 years. These individuals were all initially participants of a larger study of the effectiveness of premarital education ( N = 306 couples; Markman et al., 2004 ; Stanley et al., 2001 ). All participants in the current study either received PREP through the religious organization ( n = 24) that performed their weddings or PREP through a university ( n = 28). The sample included 31 women and 21 men. Of these, 18 men and 18 women had been married to each other (we were unable to assess the former spouse of the other 16 individuals). At the first time point of the larger study (i.e., the premarital assessment), these participants were 25.4 years old on average ( SD = 6.67), with a median education of 14 years, and median income of $20,000–29,999. At the time of the post-divorce interview, the average age was 37.2 ( SD = 6.5), the median education level was 16 years, and 32 of the participants (61.5%) had a least one child. The average number of years since premarital intervention to the post-divorce interview was 12.2 years, and the average number of years from finalized divorce to participating in the interview was 5.2 years. The sample was 88.2% Caucasian, 5.9% Native American, 3.9% Black, and 2.0% Asian; 1 participant did not report race. In terms of ethnicity, 84.3% of the sample identified as Non-Hispanic and 15.7% as Hispanic.

Couples ( N = 306) were recruited for the larger study through the religious organizations that would later perform their wedding services. At the initial wave of the study in 1996, participants were required to be planning marriage with someone of the opposite sex and needed to participate as a couple. As mentioned earlier, they were assigned to either receive PREP through the religious organization, PREP at a university, or naturally-occurring services. Throughout the duration of the larger study, participants were asked to complete annual assessments that included questionnaires and videotaped discussions. If a participant expressed that he/she was divorced or currently divorcing throughout the larger study, this information was recorded. From 2010–2012, we attempted to contact all divorced participants ( n = 114 individuals) to ask if they would participate in the current study. Of these individuals, we were unable to contact 35 participants, 18 declined an invitation to participate, and 1 participant was deceased. Participants who divorced and had received naturally-occurring services ( n = 8) were excluded from these analyses because we could not know exactly what premarital services they had received. There were no significant differences between divorced individuals who participated in this study compared to divorced individuals who did not participate across age at marriage, ethnicity, personal income, or relationship adjustment at the premarital assessment ( p s > .05).

All participants completed an individual 30-minute audio-recorded interview over the phone about their divorce and their recollections of their premarital intervention. They received $50 for participating in this interview. All interviews were transcribed verbatim for analyses. All study procedures were approved by a university Institutional Review Board.

Reasons for divorce

Using items from a previous survey on reasons for divorce ( C. A. Johnson et al., 2001 ) participants were asked to indicate whether or not each item on a list of common problems in relationships was a “major contributor to their divorce” (“yes” or “no”). These items included lack of commitment, infidelity/extra-marital affairs, too much arguing or conflict, substance abuse, domestic violence, economic hardship, lack of support from family members, marrying too young, little or no premarital education, and religious differences.

Qualitative feedback on progression of divorce

If participants indicated any of the reasons for divorce, they were subsequently asked to elaborate on how this problem progressed to their eventual divorce by the questions “Considering the problems you were telling me such as [the major reasons for divorce the participant listed], how did they move from problems to actually getting a divorce?” and “You said that [cited reason] was major contributor to the divorce. Can you tell me more about that?” We will only present detailed results from this qualitative feedback on reasons for divorce that were endorsed by at least 20% of participants.

Final straw

Participants were also asked if there was a “final straw” to their relationship ending, and to expand on that reason if there was one.

Who should have worked harder?

Participants were asked two questions ( C. A. Johnson et al., 2001 ): “Again looking back at your divorce, do you ever wish that you, yourself, had worked harder to save your marriage?” (with response options of “Yes, I wish I had worked harder” or “No, I worked hard enough.”) and “Do you ever wish that your spouse had worked harder to save your marriage?” (with response options of “Yes, I wish my spouse had worked harder.” or “No, my spouse worked hard enough.”)

Qualitative feedback on PREP

Participants were asked to report and elaborate on what they remembered, found difficult, or wished was different about their premarital education experience in an open-ended format. Example questions from the interviews include “What do you remember about the premarital preparation or training you and your ex-spouse took part in?” and “Based on your experience in a marriage that didn’t work out as you planned, do you think there is any kind of information or education that would have made a difference in how things turned out?”

Analytic Approach

Both quantitative and qualitative approaches were utilized to address our research questions. For the first phase of analysis, answers were counted for close-ended questions, such as the list of major reasons for divorce (see Table 1 ) and if there was a “final straw” (yes or no). For open-ended questions, we followed a grounded-theory methodology ( Creswell, 2006 ; Strauss & Corbin, 1998 ). For the first phase of coding, after repeated readings of the transcripts, two coders, including the first author and a research assistant from the larger project, followed a grounded-theory methodology to generate common themes related to participants’ recollections of their premarital education and reasons for divorce (from open-ended items; Creswell, 2006 ; Strauss & Corbin, 1998 ). The two coders then met repeatedly to compare results and to establish consistency. If the coders disagreed across codes, they discussed their codes with the second author to come to a conclusion. Next, axial coding was used to analyze how different codes vary in order to create specific categories of the individual codes ( Creswell, 2006 ; Strauss & Corbin, 1998 ). For example, axial coding involved examining how respondent reports of general themes (e.g., communication problems) varied in their presentation (e.g., communication problems throughout the relationship vs. communication problems only at the end of marriage).

List of Major Reasons for Divorce by Individuals and Couples Who Participated in PREP

Note. The individuals column reflects the percentage of individuals in the total sample who said yes to each reason. The couples column reflects the percentage of couples who had at least one partner say yes to each reason. The couple agreement column represents how many couples had both partners cite each reason out of the couples that had a least one partner mention that reason.

The final stage of coding included selective coding in which categories were refined and relationships between concepts were noted, such as how reasons for divorce related to difficulties utilizing PREP skills. Once all codes were determined, the first author and a new coder, another research assistant on the project, coded all transcripts with the established coding system. Codes were counted for all individuals, as well as couples as a whole (partner agreement on the same code) and couples in which only one partner from the relationship reported a specific code (partner disagreement on the same code). The average Cohen’s Kappa (per code) was .71 ( SD = .28) and the median was .80.

Analyses are presented at the individual level by using data from all 52 participants, as well as at the couple level by using data from the 18 couples ( n = 36) in which both partners completed interviews.

Reasons for Divorce

Table 1 presents the “major contributors for divorce” list. Overall, the results indicate that the most often cited reasons for divorce at the individual level were lack of commitment (75.0%), infidelity (59.6%), and too much conflict and arguing (57.7%), followed by marrying too young (45.1%), financial problems (36.7%), substance abuse (34.6%), and domestic violence (23.5%). Other problems, such as religious differences, were endorsed less than 20% of the time. The order of these rankings was essentially identical at the couple level, although rates of endorsement increased because both partners were reporting. The following provides qualitative elaborations by participants on these specific reasons for divorce.

Results indicated that the most common major contributing factor to divorce reported by participants was lack of commitment , reported by 75% of individuals and by at least one person in 94.4% of couples. Of the couples in which at least one partner mentioned commitment as a problem, 70.6% represented couples in which both partners agreed that lack of commitment was a major reason for divorce. Some participants reported that commitment within their relationships gradually eroded until there was not enough commitment to sustain the relationship, while others reported more drastic drops in commitment in response to negative events, such as infidelity.

“I realized it was the lack of commitment on my part because I didn’t really feel romantic towards him. I always had felt more still like he was a friend to me.” “It became insurmountable. It got to a point where it seemed like he was no longer really willing to work [on the relationship]. All of the stresses together and then what seemed to me to be an unwillingness to work through it any longer was the last straw for me.”

The next most often cited major contributing factor to divorce was infidelity , endorsed by 59.6% of individuals and by at least one partner in 88.8% of couples. Of those couples who had a least one partner report infidelity as a reason for divorce, only 31.3% represented couples in which both partners agreed that infidelity was a major contributor to the dissolution of their marriage. Thus, the majority of couples with apparent infidelity in their relationships only had one partner mention it as a contributing factor to their divorce. Overall, infidelity was often cited as a critical turning point in a deteriorating relationship.

“It was the final straw when he actually admitted to cheating on me. I kind of had a feeling about it, but, you know, I guess we all deny [because] we never think that the person you are married to or care about would do that to us.” “He cheated on me […] Then I met somebody else and did the same thing. […] And when he found out about it we both essentially agreed that it wasn’t worth trying to make it work anymore because it just hurt too bad.”

Conflict and arguing

Too much conflict and arguing was endorsed by 57.7% of individuals and 72.2% of couples had at least one partner report that was a major contributor to divorce. Of these couples, 53.8% of couples agreed that too much conflict and arguing was a contributor to divorce. Overall, participants indicated that conflicts were not generally resolved calmly or effectively. Respondents also reported that such communication problems increased in frequency and intensity throughout their marriages, which at times, seemed to coincide with lost feelings of positive connections and mutual support. By the end of the marriage, these respondents indicated that there was a significant lack of effective communication.

“I got frustrated of arguing too much.” “We’d have an argument over something really simple and it would turn into just huge, huge fights […] and so our arguments never got better they only ever got worse.”

Marrying too young

Getting married too young was reported as a major contributing factor to divorce by 45.1% of individuals and by at least one partner from 61.1% of couples. Both partners mentioned this reason in 27.3% of these couples. Participants who endorsed this item were an average of 23.3 years old at the time of marriage ( SD = 5.5) and participants who did not endorse this item were 29.2 ( SD = 6.7). In commenting about this issue, some participants reported that they had only known their partners for short periods of time before their marriage and/or that they wished they had dated their partners longer in order to either gain a better perspective on the relationship or to make a more rational decision as to whom they should marry. Additional comments about this issue included reports that participants were too young to make mature objective decisions regarding their marriage decisions.

“The main reason [we divorced] was because of our age. I think that being 19 at the time we got married, it just didn’t take. I think that we didn’t take anything as seriously as we should have.” “I wish that we wouldn’t have […] gotten married so young. I wish we would have waited a little bit longer before we actually got married.”

Financial problems

Financial problems were cited as a major contributor to divorce by 36.7% of participants and by at least one partner from 55.6% of couples. Of couples who had at least one partner endorse financial problems as a contributor to divorce, 50% represented couples in which both partners agreed that financial problems were a major reason for divorce. In elaborating about this issue, some participants indicated that financial difficulties were not the most pertinent reason for their divorce, but instead contributed to increased stress and tension within the relationship. Other participants also expressed that some financial difficulties were linked to other problems (e.g., health problems, substance abuse).

“I had a severe illness for almost a year and I was the only employed person [before that] so obviously money ran very short.” “The stress of trying to figure out the finances became a wedge that was really insurmountable.”

Substance abuse

Substance abuse was reported as a major contributing factor to divorce by 34.6% of participants, and by at least one partner in 50% of couples. Of these couples, only 33.3% of partners agreed that substance abuse was a major contributing factor to divorce. Thus, similar to reports of infidelity, the majority of couples who listed substance abuse as a reason for divorce had only one partner cite this reason. Generally, participants expressed that the severity of the substance abuse problem in their relationship was either minimized over the duration of the relationship, or if attempts to address the problem were made, the partner with the substance abuse problem would not improve and/or seek help. After several attempts to address the problem, the relationship finally ended.

“I said ‘absolutely no more bars’ and as soon as I found out he was back in them, I asked for [a divorce].” “He never admitted that he even drank. It wasn’t me against him. It was me against him and the disease.”

Domestic violence

Domestic violence was cited as a contributing factor to divorce by 23.5% of participants and by at least one partner from 27.8% of couples. Of those couples in which one partner listed domestic abuse a major contributor to divorce, 40.0% of partners agreed that it was a major contributor to divorce. Elaborations of this item included descriptions of both physical and emotional abuse. Participants often expressed how the abuse in their relationship developed gradually, with intensified cycles of abuse and contrition, until the severity of the abuse intensified to insurmountable levels.

“[There was] continuous sexual abuse and emotional trauma which only got worse over time.” “There were times that I felt very physically threatened. There was a time that there was a bit of shoving. I got an elbow to my nose and I got a nose bleed. Then there was another time that he literally just slid me along the floor. […]We’d work on it. It would happen again.”

Final Straw

After assessing participant major reasons for divorce, we were interested to see if participants indicated a single event or reason that constituted a “final straw” in the process of their marriage dissolution. Overall, 68.6% of participants and at least one partner in 88.9% of couples reported that there was a final straw leading to the end of their marriage. General themes of final straw issues where generated through qualitative methods for participants who reported a final straw. Of the individuals who indicated that there was a final straw involved in ending their marriages, the most common cited reason was infidelity, which was reported by 24% of these participants, followed by domestic violence (21.2%) and substance abuse (12.1%). At the couple level, no couples (0%) had both partners report the same reason for the final straw. Participants expressed that although these final straw events may not have been the first incident of their kind (e.g., the first time they realized their partner had a substance abuse problem) an event involving these behaviors led to the final decision for their relationship to end. Also, there were some situations in which individuals expressed that these three issues may have interacted with one another or other relationship issues.

“[My ex-husband] and I both had substance abuse problems which led to infidelity […] which also led to domestic violence”. “Along with him having alcohol and drug issues as well as infidelity issues [and] the stress, came the physical and verbal abuse.”

Who is to Blame?

Considering that infidelity, domestic violence, and substance abuse were the most often endorsed “final straw” reasons for divorce, we were interested in deciphering which member of the relationship participants saw as responsible for these behaviors. In examining participants’ elaborations of infidelity, substance abuse, and domestic violence, we found that 76.9%, 72.2%, and 77.8%, respectively, described these events in terms of their partner engaging in these negative behaviors, and only 11.5%, 11.1%, and 0%, respectively, volunteered that they engaged in the behavior themselves.

Furthermore, when participants were asked if their partner should have worked harder to save their marriages, 65.8% of men and 73.8% of women believe that their ex-spouse should have worked harder to save their marriages. Conversely, when participants were asked if they, personally, should have worked harder to save their marriages, only 31.6% of men and 33.3% of women expressed that they, personally, should have worked harder. Further, at the couple level, 70.6% of couples showed a pattern in which the women believed their ex-husbands should have worked harder to save their relationships while their ex-husbands did not believe they, themselves, should have worked harder. Only 11.7% agreed that the husband should have worked harder and 11.7% had the husband endorse that he should have worked harder with the wife disagreeing. Conversely, only 35.3% of couples displayed the pattern in which the men blamed their ex-wives for not working harder while their ex-wives, themselves, denied that they should have worked harder. Only 11.7% agreed that the wife should have worked harder and 17.7% had the wife endorsed that she should have worked harder with her husband disagreeing. Further, 35.3% of couples agreed that the wife had not needed to work harder to save the marriage, while only 5.9% of couples agreed that the husband had not needed to work harder. Thus, most participants believed their ex-partners should have worked harder, but at the couple level, there were more couples in which both partners agreed that the wife did not need to work harder than there were couples in which both partners agreed the husband did not need to work harder. When asked who filed for the divorce, 63.5% of participants indicated that the woman filed for divorce and only 25% participants indicated that the man filed for divorce.

Feedback on PREP

Next, we provide the findings on the most commonly cited qualitative feedback reported by participants regarding how to improve premarital education. The following results and percentages refer to counts of qualitative codes created by the research team based on common themes in the interviews.

Learning more about one’s partner

Results show that 42.3% of participants and 77.8% of couples expressed that they wished they had known more about their ex-spouse before they were married. Of these couples, 28.6% of partners agreed. These statements included desires to understand their partner better in order to improve their communication and better prepare for the marriage, or conversely, information that would have led them to never marry one’s partner in the first place. Indeed, 30.8% of participants specifically mentioned that they wished they had recognized “red flags” to leave the relationship before they entered their marriage.

“I think the only information that could have [helped] would’ve been information that might have led me to not marry him.” “I probably wish that we would have had more premarital counseling and had somebody tell us we should not be getting married.”

Participating in the program before constraints to marry

Twenty-five percent (25.0%) of participants specifically reported that they were influenced by constraints to stay in the relationship already in place during the program. Example constraints included having become engaged, set a wedding date, sent out invitations, or purchased a dress, which made it difficult for participants to objectively reconsider if they were marrying the right person through the educational experience. Thus, a large portion of participants expressed that receiving PREP just before marriage made it difficult for them to seriously considered delaying their wedding plans in order to make more objective decisions about the relationship.

“It was one of those things where you’re like, ‘Well, I already have the dress. We’re already getting married. We already have all the people. Everything is already set up and we bought the house.’ And you just kind of think, ‘Well you know I’m sure things will get better.’ You see the red flags but you kind of ignore them.” “I just didn’t have the guts to say, ‘You know what, I understand the dresses have been paid for. The churches have been booked. The invitations have gone out. But I don’t think I want to do this.’”

Improved support for ongoing implementation

Thirty-one percent (30.8%) of individuals and 38.9% of couples had at least one partner express that, although they found PREP skills helpful during the duration of the program, they had difficulty using these skills in their daily lives outside of their premarital education classes. Of these couples, 42.9% of partners agreed that they had difficulty implementing program skills in their marriage. In general, these participants expressed that, in the heat of the moment, it was hard to utilize their communication skills, such as staying calm, actively listening, working toward the problem as a team, or taking “time outs” as suggested in PREP. Other participants simply expressed that it was hard to remember and perfect their skills after the program ended because they did not practice them regularly.

“I think that the techniques […] were helpful. I just think it mattered if you were going to apply the principles or not. And I don’t think a lot of them were applied.” “It helped with discussion and listening tools. I think, it’s just the follow through, you know. We didn’t remember those things when it came down to it.” “He tried to use it at the beginning, but it was just the continual using of the techniques that were given to us.”

Education regarding the realities of marriage

In addition to not knowing enough about one’s partner, 48.1% of participants and 72.2% of couples expressed that they did not know enough about the realities or stages of marriage after participating in the program. Of these couples, 38.5% of partners agreed. These comments included surprise that their partners changed over the course of the marriage, as well as trouble facing new problems when they emerged (e.g., lack of attraction/connection, decreases in commitment and satisfaction, and new abuse problems).

“Premarital counseling teaches you how you get along, and that you should communicate, but it doesn’t really talk about the phases of a marriage over time.” “[I wish I had learned] that the biggest area in life in an ongoing relationship is knowing that things are going to come up that aren’t perfect. That after the wedding day, and the build up to the wedding day, real life is going to kick in and you have to really have some tools to deal with it.”

The goal of this study was to increase understanding of divorced individuals’ perspectives on whether their premarital education prepared them for marriage and how relationship education could be modified to better address couples’ needs. Thus, among individuals who received PREP premaritally and later divorced, this study addressed reasons for divorce as well as ideas for what else would have been helpful in relationship education. It is the first study to qualitatively assess divorced participants’ recommendations for relationship education services. Given the small sample and qualitative nature of the reports, the implications discussed below ought to be considered preliminary.

We asked about reasons for divorce to know whether PREP addressed the kinds of problems that couples who went on to divorce tended to experience. The most commonly cited reason for divorce was lack of commitment, followed by infidelity and too much conflict and arguing. These top rated major reasons for divorce noted here are similar to those found in large random surveys of divorced participants (cf. C. A. Johnson et al., 2001 ; Hawkins, Willoughby et al., 2012 ). Overall, these findings support the importance of covering communication and commitment in premarital education programs to help foster successful marriages; however, in light of participant feedback on PREP, the program may have been able to cover these and other topics more effectively.

Whereas issues like communication and commitment overlap with core content in PREP and other programs (see Markman & Rhoades, 2012 ), a substantial portion of responses suggested that, although the skills taught in PREP may been helpful, they did not implement them in real-life situations, particularly during heated discussions. Research indicates that commitment and conflict management are related in that commitment helps partners inhibit negative behaviors and engage in more positive behaviors at critical moments ( Slotter et al., 2012 ); thus, the issues of commitment and conflict management are likely intertwined in important ways. Further, consistent with other research on a German version of PREP ( Hahlweg & Richter, 2010 ), participants also reported that they forgot some of the communication skills over time.

These findings highlight a key question for the couple research field regarding how to enhance couples’ ability to use beneficial strategies when they are most needed. One solution could be to increase the time couples spend in premarital education in order for them to master essential skills and to help them become more likely to constructively derail negative processes as they emerge. At the same time, the version of PREP that these couples received was 12 hours long, which is both on the long end of what most couples receive in premarital education ( Mdn = 8 hours; Stanley, Amato, Johnson, & Markman, 2006 ) and in the range of what tends to be the most effective dose ( Hawkins, Stanley, Blanchard, & Albright, 2012 ). Longer curricula do not seem to lead to stronger effects ( Hawkins, Stanley et al., 2012 ), but future random-assignment studies could address this question better.

With most premarital education services, including PREP, couples are not provided opportunities to practice new skills or receive coaching while they are upset or experiencing a difficult disagreement. A group or workshop format likely inhibits such real-world discussions. It could be that couples would benefit from new program content that helps them practice their skills better when they are having trouble. Couples may also benefit from additional opportunities to perfect the use of program strategies after the intervention has ended, such as through booster classes or individual meetings with coaches. Research indicates that such boosters may be effective ( Braukhaus, Hahlweg, Kroeger, Groth, & Fehm-Wolfsdorf, 2003 ). New technologies now offer innovative ways to deliver such boosters, such as through online training or smart phone applications.

Content Considerations for Premarital Education

Introducing new content on the issues that participants identified as final straws in their marriages may also be beneficial. These issues were infidelity, aggression or emotional abuse, and substance use. Addressing these behaviors directly in relationship education raises some questions regarding which couples relationship education providers might seek to help stay together as opposed to help break-up. We believe premarital education should serve as a prevention effort to help healthy and happy couples stay that way and that keeping distressed, abusive, or otherwise unhealthy couples together would not be a positive outcome. Research on the development of these “final straw” behaviors seems particularly important in the future. A limitation of the current study is that the pre-intervention assessment did not include the kinds of measures necessary to determine the extent to which couples in this study presented with these problems before marriage. Thus, future research is needed to investigate whether premarital education can help prevent couples from developing some of these “final straw” behaviors and whether it may help some couples with problems such as aggression or substance abuse either get the additional help they will need to change these behaviors or break up. We discuss preliminary ideas about whether/how premarital education might cover each of these final straw issues below.

Over half of all participants cited infidelity as a major reason for divorce and infidelity was the most often endorsed “final straw” reason. Infidelity is not a major focus in PREP, though the curriculum does address the importance of commitment, including protecting one’s relationship from attraction to others. Based on participants’ reports from this study, it may be that premarital programs could be improved by more directly addressing how to reduce the potential for extramarital involvement.

If providers or programs choose to address infidelity explicitly, Markman (2005) provides useful guidelines for covering the topic. These recommendations include informing participants that there are specific situations and developmental time periods within relationships with increased risks for engaging in extramarital relationships (e.g., transition to parenthood, close relationships with attractive alternatives, significant drinking). Furthermore, participants could be informed that the risk for extramarital relationships may increase during stressful times—such as when partners are separated for long periods by work demands or experiencing low marital satisfaction—and this information could be shared with participants. Partners could also be given structure to talk with each other about expectations for fidelity, management of relationships with friends or co-workers who could be attractive alternatives, and boundaries for their relationship. However, one barrier to increasing a focus on the prevention of infidelity in premarital education is that relationship commitment and satisfaction is highest right before marriage ( Rhoades, Stanley, & Markman, 2006 ), so engaged couples may not be receptive or eager to directly address the possibility of future extramarital affairs during this time ( Allen et al., 2005 ).

Substance abuse also appeared to be a prevalent problem at least for half of divorced couples in this sample. Overall, reports indicate that although substance abuse problems may have developed gradually throughout these relationships, this issue constituted the final straw to end the relationship for a number of individuals once the situation was perceived as insurmountable. Substance abuse is not currently addressed in PREP except that all couples attending PREP are provided with information on how to get more help for a range of problems, including substance abuse.

Premarital programs may benefit from educating participants on how substance abuse is not uncommon as a reason for divorce in an effort to encourage participants to address substance abuse problems as early as possible. Such program additions could also include how to recognize and get help for substance abuse and could encourage partners to discuss their expectations for substance use in the relationship. Partners may also benefit from discussing how to support each other in seeking help, should the need ever arise. Furthermore, couples could be taught that if a substance abuse develops in the relationship, there is often a discrepancy between partners regarding perspectives on the extent of the problem, which is evident by this study’s findings.

Domestic violence was cited by over a quarter of couples as a reason for divorce. When asked to elaborate, some described verbal abuse, while others described physical aggression. Often participants explained that they initially believed they could work through the problem, but later found it unbearable, as some participants considered an act of physical aggression as the final straw in their relationship. As others have suggested ( Halford, Markman, Kline, & Stanley, 2003 ), premarital education programs may benefit from teaching participants about recognizing, preventing, and getting help for aggression in relationships. In current models of PREP, all participants learn that aggression is unacceptable and they all receive basic information on ways to get help (e.g., through shelters), as to not put particular couples or individuals in awkward or unsafe circumstances in class. Still, more could be done.

The field continues to debate how to best address this issue, as different types of violence and couples of varying risk may warrant different approaches. M. P. Johnson (1995) distinguishes between situational couple violence and intimate terrorism. Specifically, situational couple violence tends to be much more common and represents aggression that comes out of conflict. It is typically initiated by either partner while intimate terrorism encompasses more controlling, threatening behavior, typically by the male partner.

With 36% of unmarried couples having experienced some form of physical aggression in the last year ( Rhoades, Stanley, Kelmer, & Markman, 2010 ), relationship education programs should take care not to scare couples who have experienced aggression away from seeking help. As is done routinely in PREP, it seems necessary in relationship education that providers and program content emphasize to all participants that any aggression is unacceptable and also suggest specific, local ways to seek help for problems with aggression. To develop further content, an understanding of the literature on aggression and violence, including men’s vs. women’s roles, and the different type of violence, is likely particularly important, as recommendations may be different for different kinds of problems. For example, recommendations for situational couple violence might include couple and/or individual therapy focused on intensive skills to help better manage negative affect and conflict effectively whereas intimate terrorism would most likely call for referrals to shelters or law enforcement. For further recommendations regarding domestic violence and relationship education, see suggestions by Derrington, Johnson, Menard, Ooms, and Stanley (2010) .

Financial hardship

Financial hardship was cited as a major reason for divorce that provided stress on their relationship by over half the sample. Although PREP helps couples learn communication skills to discuss stressful topics in general, it is worth considering whether specific content on money and economic stress is warranted. Participants could be asked to more directly share expectations about finances and learn coping skills for times of significant financial strain. They could also be provided with appropriate community resources to improve or stabilize their financial situations or these resources could be incorporated into relationship education efforts.

Marriage expectations

Almost half of interviewees commented that they did not know enough about the typical course of events in marriage. PREP typically addresses expectations by encouraging participants to recognize and discuss their own expectations for marriage ( Markman et al., 2010 ), but it does not provide explicit information about how marriages and families tend to develop over time. More content on normal marital development could be helpful. For example, information could be provided about how satisfaction typically drops and conflict tends to increase during the transition to parenthood (e.g., Doss, Rhoades, Stanley, & Markman, 2009b ) and about the course of attraction and sexual desire in relationships.

Previous research has shown that couples who develop serious difficulties, and eventually seek help, usually do so long after the problems have become deeply entrenched ( Doss, Rhoades, Stanley, & Markman, 2009a ). Thus, relationship education programs may benefit from providing guidelines regarding when to seek professional help and even have couples practice these difficult conversations to encourage them to seek help early and at times when changes are easiest to make. There is survey evidence that premarital education is associated with being more likely to use services later in the marriage ( Williamson, Karney, Trail, & Bradbury, 2012 ), but more direct content on how and when to seek help may be warranted.

This point about seeking help early is complicated by the fact that the majority of participants saw their partner as primarily responsible for participating in the “final straw” behaviors (infidelity, domestic violence, and substance use) and for not working hard enough to save the marriage. Most participants also believed that they, personally, should not have worked harder to save their marriages. Therefore, premarital education may need to focus on encouraging help seeking behaviors in couples with the understanding that most individuals may see their partners as primarily responsible for their difficulties, and therefore, may not feel personally responsible. In addition, the majority of couples displayed a pattern in which the women blamed their ex-husbands while their ex-husbands did not see themselves as responsible. Interestingly, as has been found elsewhere ( Amato & Previti, 2003 ; C. A. Johnson et al., 2001 ), women in this sample were also more likely to eventually file for divorce than men. Thus, it may be especially important that husbands and wives develop realistic expectations about seeking help together, so that they later do not disagree about what circumstances might constitute a need for help.

The Timing of Premarital Education

Our findings show that a considerable number of participants wished that they had known more about their partner before marriage, saying they would have either learned how to handle differences better or left the relationship. Many others believed they had married too young. Also, a portion of participants mentioned that they participated in PREP during a time when the constraints of wedding plans made it more likely for them to ignore factors that may have otherwise ended their relationship. These participant comments highlight the difference between when couples might ideally benefit from premarital education compared to when couples typically seek it. One of the potential benefits of relationship education is that is can help some couples on an ill-advised or premature path toward marriage to reconsider their plans (see Stanley, 2001 ); however, couples typically participate in these programs close to their wedding dates, a time when ending the relationship may be especially difficult.

A potentially stronger overall prevention strategy is to reach people earlier in their relationships, before constraints to marry are in place, or even before individuals enter relationships ( Rhoades & Stanley, 2009 ). Early, individual-oriented relationship education can help individuals develop and practice healthy relationship skills and also help them end unsafe or unhealthy relationships ( Rhoades & Stanley, 2011 ). One recently-developed relationship education curriculum designed for individuals, Within My Reach ( Pearson, Stanley, & Rhoades, 2008 ), has shown success in teaching these skills and helping individuals reach their personal relationship goals ( Antle, Karam, Christensen, Barbee, & Sar, 2011 ). Thus, future research may wish to consider how to encourage individuals and/or couples who have yet to make commitments to marry to participate in relationship education programs, as well as how and when these programs should advise individuals to leave damaging relationships.

Conclusions and Limitations

This study provides new information regarding the reasons for divorce and possible improvements to relationship education programs based on feedback from divorced individuals who participated in PREP premaritally. Although the study focuses on improving the PREP model specifically, relationship education programs working with premarital populations may also find value in our findings, particularly regarding how to cover specific topics deemed important by our participants. Other programs may also benefit from suggestions to provide relationship education earlier and to provide services to help couples master their skill development over time.

This study also has several limitations that warrant discussion. First, respondent reports of their progression toward divorce and premarital education experiences were retrospective and may therefore be biased by the passing of time. Future studies may wish to evaluate relationship problems and reasons for divorce closer to the couple’s decision to divorce. Second, the sample was mostly White and only included participants in heterosexual relationships who married within mostly Christian-based religious organizations. Therefore, future studies are needed to examine whether these findings would be replicated with other groups or cultures. A third limitation is the lack of a comparison group of couples who participated in PREP but did not divorce. As a result, it is not clear whether or not the problems and recommendations these participants identified are specific to this divorced sample, or would translate to couples who remain married. Finally, all participants in this study received PREP when they were engaged to be married so research is needed to evaluate reasons for relationship dissolution and how to improve programs that target individuals and couples in different relationship stages (e.g. dating or married). Nevertheless, this study provides new insight in potential improvements to the content and timing of relationship education.

Acknowledgments

This research was supported by award number R01HD053314 from the Eunice Kennedy Shrivner National Institute of Child Health and Human Development. The content is solely the responsibility of the authors and does not necessarily represent the official views of the Eunice Kennedy Shrivner National Institute of Child Health and Human Development or National Institutes of Health.

Contributor Information

Shelby B. Scott, Department of Psychology, University of Denver.

Galena K. Rhoades, Department of Psychology, University of Denver.

Scott M. Stanley, Department of Psychology, University of Denver.

Elizabeth S. Allen, Department of Psychology, University of Colorado – Denver.

Howard J. Markman, Department of Psychology, University of Denver.

  • Al Gharaibeh F, Bromfield N. An analysis of divorce cases in the United Arab Emirates: A rising trend. Journal of Divorce & Remarriage. 2012; 53 (6):436–452. doi: 10.1080/10502556.2012.682896. [ CrossRef ] [ Google Scholar ]
  • Allen ES, Atkins DC, Baucom DH, Snyder DK, Gordon KC, Glass SP. Intrapersonal, interpersonal, and contextual factors in engaging in and responding to extramarital involvement. Clinical Psychology: Science and Practice. 2005; 12 (2):101–130. [ Google Scholar ]
  • Amato PR. The consequences of divorce for adults and children. Journal of Marriage & the Family. 2000; 62 (4):1269–1287. [ Google Scholar ]
  • Amato PR, Previti D. People’s reasons for divorcing: Gender, social class, the life course, and adjustment. Journal of Family Issues. 2003; 24 (5):602–626. doi: 10.1177/0192513X03024005002. [ CrossRef ] [ Google Scholar ]
  • Antle BF, Karam E, Christensen DN, Barbee AP, Sar BK. An evaluation of healthy relationship education to reduce intimate partner violence. Journal of Family Social Work. 2011; 14 :387–406. doi: 10.1080/10522158.2011.616482. [ CrossRef ] [ Google Scholar ]
  • Bloom BL, Niles RL, Tatcher MA. Sources of marital dissatisfaction among newly separated persons. Journal of Family Issues. 1985; 6 :359–373. [ Google Scholar ]
  • Baucom DH, Hahlweg K, Atkins DC, Engl J, Thurmaier F. Long-term prediction of marital quality following a relationship education program: Being positive in a constructive way. Journal of Family Psychology. 2006; 20 (3):448–455. doi: 10.1037/0893-3200.20.3.448. [ PubMed ] [ CrossRef ] [ Google Scholar ]
  • Braukhaus C, Hahlweg K, Kroeger C, Groth T, Fehm-Wolfsdorf G. The effects of adding booster sessions to a prevention training program for committed couples. Behavioural & Cognitive Psychotherapy. 2003; 31 (3):325–336. [ Google Scholar ]
  • Creswell JW. Qualitative Inquiry and Research Design: Choosing among Five Approaches. 2. Thousand Oaks, CA: SAGE Publications; 2006. [ Google Scholar ]
  • Derrington R, Johnson M, Menard A, Ooms T, Stanley SM, editors. Making distinctions among different types of intimate partner violence: A preliminary guide. Fairfax, VA: The National Healthy Marriage Resource Center and the National Resource Center on Domestic Violence; 2010. [ Google Scholar ]
  • Doss BD, Rhoades GK, Stanley SM, Markman HJ. Marital therapy, retreats, and books: The who, what, when, and why of relationship help-seeking. Journal of Marital and Family Therapy. 2009a; 35 (1):18–29. [ PubMed ] [ Google Scholar ]
  • Doss BD, Rhoades GK, Stanley SM, Markman HJ. The effect of the transition to parenthood on relationship quality: An 8-year prospective study. Journal of Personality And Social Psychology. 2009b; 96 (3):601–619. doi: 10.1037/a0013969. [ PMC free article ] [ PubMed ] [ CrossRef ] [ Google Scholar ]
  • Frisco ML, Muller C, Frank K. Parents’ union dissolution and adolescents’ school performance: Comparing methodological approaches. Journal of Marriage and Family. 2007; 69 (3):721–741. [ PMC free article ] [ PubMed ] [ Google Scholar ]
  • Gigy L, Kelly JB. Reasons for divorce: Perspectives of divorcing men and women. Journal Of Divorce & Remarriage. 1992; 18 (1–2):169–187. doi: 10.1300/J087v18n01_08. [ CrossRef ] [ Google Scholar ]
  • Hahlweg K, Markman HJ, Thurmaier F, Engl J, Eckert V. Prevention of marital distress: Results of a German prospective longitudinal study. Journal of Family Psychology. 1998; 12 (4):543–556. [ Google Scholar ]
  • Hahlweg K, Richter D. Prevention of marital instability and distress. Results of an 11-year longitudinal follow-up study. Behaviour Research and Therapy. 2010; 48 (5):377–383. doi: 10.1016/j.brat.2009.12.010. [ PubMed ] [ CrossRef ] [ Google Scholar ]
  • Halford WK, Markman HJ, Kline GH, Stanley SM. Best practice in couple relationship education. Journal of Marital and Family Therapy. 2003; 29 (3):385–406. [ PubMed ] [ Google Scholar ]
  • Hawkins AJ, Stanley SM, Blanchard VL, Albright M. Exploring programmatic moderators of the effectiveness of marriage and relationship education programs: A meta-analytic study. Behavior Therapy 2012 [ PMC free article ] [ PubMed ] [ Google Scholar ]
  • Hawkins AJ, Willoughby BJ, Doherty WJ. Reasons for divorce and openness to marital reconciliation. Journal of Divorce & Remarriage. 2012; 53 (6):453–463. doi: 10.1080/10502556.2012.682898. [ CrossRef ] [ Google Scholar ]
  • Hughes ME, Waite LJ. Marital biography and health at mid-life. Journal of Health and Social Behavior. 2009; 50 (3):344–358. [ PMC free article ] [ PubMed ] [ Google Scholar ]
  • Johnson CA, Stanley SM, Glenn ND, Amato PR, Nock SL, Markman HJ, et al. Marriage in Oklahoma: 2001 Baseline Statewide Survey on Marriage and Divorce: OSU Bureau for Social Research. Oklahoma State University; 2001. [ Google Scholar ]
  • Johnson MP. Patriarchal terrorism and common couple violence: Two forms of violence against women. Journal of Marriage and the Family. 1995; 57 :283–294. [ Google Scholar ]
  • Kitson GC, Holmes W. Portrait of divorce: Adjustment to marital breakdown. New York, NY US: Guilford Press; 1992. [ Google Scholar ]
  • Laurenceau JP, Stanley SM, Olmos-Gallo A, Baucom B, Markman HJ. Community-based prevention of marital dysfunction: Multilevel modeling of a randomized effectiveness study. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology. 2004; 72 (6):933–943. [ PubMed ] [ Google Scholar ]
  • Markman HJ. The prevention of extramarital involvement: Steps toward ‘affair proofing’ marriage. Clinical Psychology: Science and Practice. 2005; 12 (2):134–138. [ Google Scholar ]
  • Markman HJ, Hahlweg K. The prediction and prevention of marital distress: An international perspective. Clinical Psychology Review. 1993; 13 :29–43. [ Google Scholar ]
  • Markman HJ, Renick M, Floyd FJ, Stanley SM, Clements M. Preventing marital distress through communication and conflict management training: A 4- and 5-year follow-up. Journal of Consulting And Clinical Psychology. 1993; 61 (1):70–77. doi: 10.1037/0022-006X.61.1.70. [ PubMed ] [ CrossRef ] [ Google Scholar ]
  • Markman HJ, Rhoades GK. Relationship education research: Current status and future directions. Journal of Marital And Family Therapy. 2012; 38 (1):169–200. doi: 10.1111/j.1752-0606.2011.00247.x. [ PMC free article ] [ PubMed ] [ CrossRef ] [ Google Scholar ]
  • Markman HJ, Rhoades GK, Stanley SM, Peterson KM. A randomized clinical trial of the effectiveness of premarital intervention: Moderators of divorce outcomes. Journal of Family Psychology in press. [ PubMed ] [ Google Scholar ]
  • Markman HJ, Stanley SM, Blumberg SL. Fighting for your marriage: A deluxe revised edition of the classic best-seller for enhancing marriage and preventing divorce. San Francisco, CA: Jossey-Bass; 2010. [ Google Scholar ]
  • Markman HJ, Whitton SW, Kline GH, Stanley SM, Thompson H, Peters MS, et al. Use of an empirically based marriage education program by religious organizations: Results of a dissemination trial. Family Relations. 2004; 53 (5):504–512. [ Google Scholar ]
  • Mbosowo D. The extent and rate of divorce in Plateau State, Nigeria 1980 to 1988. Journal of Divorce & Remarriage. 1994; 21 (3–4):147–169. doi: 10.1300/J087v21n03_08. [ CrossRef ] [ Google Scholar ]
  • Pearson M, Stanley SM, Rhoades GK. Within My Reach Instructor Manual. Denver, CO: PREP, Inc; 2008. [ Google Scholar ]
  • Ragan EP, Einhorn LA, Rhoades GK, Markman HJ, Stanley SM. Relationship education programs: Current trends and future directions. In: Bray JH, Stanton M, editors. Handbook of family psychology. Hoboken, NJ: Wiley-Blackwell; 2009. pp. 450–462. [ Google Scholar ]
  • Rhoades GK, Stanley SM. Relationship education for individuals: The benefits and challenges of intervening early. In: Benson H, Callan S, editors. What works in relationship education: Lessons from academics and service deliverers in the United States and Europe. Doha, Qatar: Doha International Institute for Family Studies and Development; 2009. pp. 45–54. [ Google Scholar ]
  • Rhoades GK, Stanley SM. Using individual-oriented relationship education to prevent family violence. Journal of Couple and Relationship Therapy. 2011; 10 :185–200. [ PMC free article ] [ PubMed ] [ Google Scholar ]
  • Rhoades GK, Stanley SM, Kelmer G, Markman HJ. Physical aggression in unmarried relationships: The roles of commitment and constraints. Journal of Family Psychology. 2010; 24 :678–687. [ PMC free article ] [ PubMed ] [ Google Scholar ]
  • Rhoades GK, Stanley SM, Markman HJ. Pre-engagement cohabitation and gender asymmetry in marital commitment. Journal of Family Psychology. 2006; 20 :553–560. [ PubMed ] [ Google Scholar ]
  • Savaya R, Cohen O. Divorce among Moslem Arabs living in Israel: Comparison for reasons before and after the actualization of the marriage. Journal of Family Issues. 2003a; 24 (3):338–351. doi: 10.1177/0192513X02250889. [ CrossRef ] [ Google Scholar ]
  • Savaya R, Cohen O. Divorce among ‘unmarried’ Muslim Arabs in Israel: Women’s reasons for the dissolution of unactualized marriages. Journal of Divorce & Remarriage. 2003b; 40 (1–2):93–109. [ Google Scholar ]
  • Slotter EB, Finkel EJ, DeWall CN, Pond RS, Lambert NM, Bodenhausen GV, et al. Putting the brakes on aggression toward a romantic partner: The inhibitory influence of relationship commitment. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. 2012; 102 (2):291–305. [ PubMed ] [ Google Scholar ]
  • Stanley SM, Allen ES, Markman HJ, Rhoades GK, Prentice DL. Decreasing divorce in army couples: Results from a randomized controlled trial using PREP for Strong Bonds. Journal of Couple and Relationship Therapy. 2010; 9 (2):149–160. [ PMC free article ] [ PubMed ] [ Google Scholar ]
  • Stanley SM, Amato PR, Johnson CA, Markman HJ. Premarital education, marital quality, and marital stability: Findings from a large, random household survey. Journal of Family Psychology. 2006; 20 (1):117–126. [ PubMed ] [ Google Scholar ]
  • Stanley SM, Markman HJ. Acting on what we know: The hope of prevention. In: Ooms T, editor. Strategies to strengthen marriage: What we know, what we need to know. Washington, D.C: The Family Impact Seminar; 1998. pp. 37–54. [ Google Scholar ]
  • Stanley SM. Making a case for premarital education. Family Relations. 2001; 50 (3):272–280. [ Google Scholar ]
  • Stanley SM, Markman HJ, Prado LM, Olmos-Gallo PA, Tonelli L, St Peters M, et al. Community-based premarital prevention: Clergy and lay leaders on the front lines. Family Relations. 2001; 50 (1):67–76. [ Google Scholar ]
  • Strauss A, Corbin J. Basics of qualitative research techniques and procedures for developing grounded theory. 2. London: Sage Publications; 1998. [ Google Scholar ]
  • Strohschein L. Parental divorce and child mental health trajectories. Journal of Marriage and Family. 2005; 67 (5):1286–1300. [ Google Scholar ]
  • Sun Y, Li Y. Marital disruption, parental investment, and children’s academic achievement: A prospective analysis. Journal of Family Issues. 2001; 22 (1):27–62. [ Google Scholar ]
  • Thurnher M, Fenn CB, Melichar J, Chiriboga DA. Sociodemographic perspectives on reasons for divorce. Journal of Divorce. 1983; 6 (4):25–35. doi: 10.1300/J279v06n04_02. [ CrossRef ] [ Google Scholar ]
  • van Widenfelt B, Hosman C, Schaap C, van der Staak C. The prevention of relationship distress for couples at risk: A controlled evaluation with nine-month and two-year follow-ups. Family Relations: An Interdisciplinary Journal of Applied Family Studies. 1996; 45 (2):156–165. doi: 10.2307/585286. [ CrossRef ] [ Google Scholar ]
  • Williamson HC, Karney BR, Trail TE, Bradbury TN. Do the couples most in need of help receive couples therapy?. Poster presented at the annual meeting of the Association for Behavioral and Cognitive Therapies; National Harbor, MD. 2012. Nov, [ Google Scholar ]

Jenny Perkel

The Impact of Divorce on Children

Why growing up in two homes is so hard, and what can help..

Posted August 4, 2022 | Reviewed by Michelle Quirk

  • The Challenges of Divorce
  • Find a therapist to heal from a divorce
  • Ongoing conflict between parents after they split up is deeply unsettling for children.
  • Except under extreme circumstances, children are much better off keeping regular, ongoing contact with both parents.
  • Divorced parents should try to co-parent together in a constructive, cooperative, and respectful way.

Jeremiah Lawrence/Unsplash

Nearly half of married couples in the United States eventually get divorced , according to some estimates. Because it occurs so often, it’s easy to forget just how difficult and traumatic divorce can be for children. Research published by sociologist Lisa Strohschein showed that, even before marital breakup, children whose parents later divorce exhibit higher levels of anxiety , depression , and antisocial behavior than peers whose parents remain married. There is a further increase in anxiety and depression in children when parents do divorce. U.S.-based psychologist Sharlene Wolchik and colleagues found that parental divorce is associated with significant risks for children and adolescents, including substance abuse and addictions, mental and physical health problems, and poor educational outcomes.

Traumatic Loss of Divorce

There is not always enough support or even acknowledgment of what a traumatic loss divorce can be for couples and their children. Whatever the reasons for the split, there are usually feelings of grief , sadness, anger , betrayal, guilt , and shame . Marital breakdown can leave both parents feeling devastated, and the stress can evoke primitive and powerful feelings of abandonment, isolation, and fear . This can lead to anxiety or depression. It's not easy to give your children what they need when you are highly vulnerable and emotionally fragile. Practically and logistically, things can be harder for you and your children when a marriage breaks down. Divorce often brings financial strain and social difficulty. Children can believe themselves to be the cause of their parents’ divorce. Guilt and shame can make them feel worthless, anxious, and depressed. Every part of their lives—living arrangements, extra-murals, decisions about schooling, and holidays—can be fraught with conflict if the parents are not able to co-operate with one another.

You might not like or trust your ex, especially early on in the separation and divorce process. It can feel deeply painful and upsetting as well to be separated from your children while they are in the care of their other parent—quite possibly your least favourite person under the circumstances. There may be realistic concerns—sometimes related to the use of drugs or alcohol —about the safety of children in the care of your ex. Some parents even worry about different kinds of abuse when their children are with the other parent. But, for the most part, the children have to find a safe place for themselves in two separate homes. It is essential that they are helped to feel at home in both places. It can sometimes even be a relief, after a divorce, for children to be in an environment where there is peace and an absence of tension.

Parents at War

When their mother and father are in enemy camps, a child has to try to figure out who is right and who is wrong, who is "good" and who is "bad." If a mother believes, for example, that her ex-husband is dangerous or evil, a child might feel unsafe and mistrustful of his father. The child might reject the father to keep himself and his mother psychologically safe. It can be hard for a child to love and trust a parent who is hated by the other.

Kate Scharff, author of Divorce and Parenting Wars , writes that the legal system often brings a highly adversarial tone to divorce. Unless your circumstances are such that you can't avoid it, try not to enter into a win/lose battle with an ex. Children are almost always victims in this conflict. They can feel torn apart when their parents cannot manage a civil, amicable, respectful dissolution of their marriage. Canadian psychologist Arthur Leonoff explains in his book The Good Divorce why divorce is so difficult for children and what parents and their therapists can do to help them. Preserving the child’s treasured mental image of herself with her two biological parents is vital, according to Leonoff, because this mental image forms the basis of the child’s identity .

An important message for parents after marital breakdown is to try to preserve, as much as possible, the ongoing relationship with your ex—who will always, for better and for worse, be your children's other parent. For the sake of your children, try to co-parent together in a constructive, cooperative, and respectful way.

Lisa Strohschein, ‘Parental Divorce and Child Mental Health Trajectories’, Journal of Marriage and Family 67, no. 5 (2005): 1286–1300, https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1741-3737.2005.00217.x .

Sharlene A. Wolchik, et al., ‘Developmental Cascade Models of a Parenting-Focused Program for Divorced Families on Mental Health Problems and Substance Use in Emerging Adulthood’, Developmental Psychopathology 28, no. 3 (August 2016): 869–888, doi: 10.1017/S0954579416000365.

Scharff, Kate. ‘Divorce and Parenting Wars’. In Psychoanalytic Couple Psychotherapy: Foundations of Theory and Practice, edited by David E. Scharff and Jill Savege Scharff, 279–294. London: Karnac, 2014.

Arthur Leonoff, The Good Divorce: A Psychoanalyst’s Exploration of Separation, Divorce, and Childcare (London: Routledge, 2018), 71–199.

Jenny Perkel

Jenny Perkel is a clinical psychologist and the author of Children in Mind and Babies in Mind.

  • Find a Therapist
  • Find a Treatment Center
  • Find a Psychiatrist
  • Find a Support Group
  • Find Teletherapy
  • United States
  • Brooklyn, NY
  • Chicago, IL
  • Houston, TX
  • Los Angeles, CA
  • New York, NY
  • Portland, OR
  • San Diego, CA
  • San Francisco, CA
  • Seattle, WA
  • Washington, DC
  • Asperger's
  • Bipolar Disorder
  • Chronic Pain
  • Eating Disorders
  • Passive Aggression
  • Personality
  • Goal Setting
  • Positive Psychology
  • Stopping Smoking
  • Low Sexual Desire
  • Relationships
  • Child Development
  • Therapy Center NEW
  • Diagnosis Dictionary
  • Types of Therapy

March 2024 magazine cover

Understanding what emotional intelligence looks like and the steps needed to improve it could light a path to a more emotionally adept world.

  • Coronavirus Disease 2019
  • Affective Forecasting
  • Neuroscience

factors of divorce essay

Final dates! Join the tutor2u subject teams in London for a day of exam technique and revision at the cinema. Learn more →

Reference Library

Collections

  • See what's new
  • All Resources
  • Student Resources
  • Assessment Resources
  • Teaching Resources
  • CPD Courses
  • Livestreams

Study notes, videos, interactive activities and more!

Sociology news, insights and enrichment

Currated collections of free resources

Browse resources by topic

  • All Sociology Resources

Resource Selections

Currated lists of resources

Study Notes

Families: Changing Patterns of Separation and Divorce

Last updated 27 Sept 2019

  • Share on Facebook
  • Share on Twitter
  • Share by Email

It is much easier to find out information about divorce than it is separation. Divorce greatly increased after the 1969 Divorce Reform Act. This legislation made getting a divorce much easier and took away the need to prove that someone was at fault. It also made it equally easy for a woman to obtain a divorce as a man.

Possible reasons for the rapid increase in divorce rates include:

  • Legislative changes . The 1969 act is one of a number of reforms that have made divorce easier over the years and have seen a subsequent increase in divorces.
  • Secularisation . While people have taken vows such as “what God has brought together let no man put asunder” divorce is a very big deal. But it might seem less so when it is viewed more as a legal contract that can be legally terminated. Also there is less religious or social stigma attached to being a divorcee than there used to be.
  • Female emancipation . In the past women would fear divorce because of the financial risk of losing their husband. Today however women are much more likely to have independent finances and be able to manage on their own.
  • Child support . Furthermore, women know that men will be expected to pay maintenance to their children.
  • The pure relationship . Again Giddens’ concept of the pure relationship and people using relationships as part of their self-identity and experiencing serial monogamy is highly relevant here. People do not necessarily expect their marriages to last forever but rather seek perfection.

Evaluating sociological explanations of rising divorce rates

  • It is certainly true that changes to the law that increased the accessibility of divorce greatly increase the divorce rate. What is less clear is whether it greatly increased the rate at which marriages broke down. If people could not get a divorce, then clearly that was not an option, but people still separated, or indeed lived separate lives in the same home. It is harder to find any statistical support for this and would require careful analysis of census returns to find evidence of separation, and there really is no way of accessing historical separation under the same roof. Similarly, there are plenty of recorded cases of bigamous marriages from before the Divorce Reform Act, where people separated and remarried as if they had divorced (and clearly many of these will not be recorded, especially if the second relationship did not involve a registered wedding).
  • As such, we cannot be sure whether the other factors mentioned really have had a big impact on marital breakdown as we cannot quantify with any certainty how much marital breakdown has increased, only that there have been a lot more divorces.
  • Divorce Rate
  • Divorce Reform Act 1969

You might also like

Families: family and household defined, families: functionalism, families: marxism, families: feminism, the march of progress view: the family and gender equality (part 1).

14th February 2017

The March of Progress View: The Family and the Role of Children (Part 2)

16th February 2017

The Price of Benefits

21st February 2017

Video: Are Children Taking Over?

23rd February 2017

Our subjects

  • › Criminology
  • › Economics
  • › Geography
  • › Health & Social Care
  • › Psychology
  • › Sociology
  • › Teaching & learning resources
  • › Student revision workshops
  • › Online student courses
  • › CPD for teachers
  • › Livestreams
  • › Teaching jobs

Boston House, 214 High Street, Boston Spa, West Yorkshire, LS23 6AD Tel: 01937 848885

  • › Contact us
  • › Terms of use
  • › Privacy & cookies

© 2002-2024 Tutor2u Limited. Company Reg no: 04489574. VAT reg no 816865400.

What are the causes and effects of rising divorce rate?

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Sentence 1 - Background statement
  • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
  • Sentence 3 - Thesis
  • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
  • Sentence 2 - Example
  • Sentence 3 - Discussion
  • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
  • Sentence 1 - Summary
  • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
  • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ » — a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

  • Check your IELTS essay »
  • Find essays with the same topic
  • View collections of IELTS Writing Samples
  • Show IELTS Writing Task 2 Topics

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweight the disadvantages?

Millions of dollars are spent on space research every year. some people argue that money should be spent on improving living standards on earth. do you agree or disagree, the plans below show the site of an airport now and how it will look after redevelopment next year. summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant., some people say that the increasing business and cultural contact between countries has a positive affect; others say it could contribute to a loss of the country's identities. do you agree or disagree, in some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.

Home — Essay Samples — Life — Divorce — What Causes Divorce: Overview of the Factors

test_template

What Causes Divorce: Overview of The Factors

  • Categories: Divorce Marriage

About this sample

close

Words: 1121 |

Published: Dec 16, 2021

Words: 1121 | Pages: 2 | 6 min read

  • Sutton, D. Sociological Types of Divorce. Retrieved from https://oureverdaylife.com/sociological-types-divorce-8257481.html
  • Girdwain, A. (2020). 12 Most Common Reasons People Get Divorced, According to Experts. Retrieved from https://www.womenshealthmag.com/relationships/a32019433/reasons-for-divorce/
  • Roy, R, E. (2006). Behavioral Pattern and Social Problems. New York: Reformed publishing

Image of Dr. Oliver Johnson

Cite this Essay

Let us write you an essay from scratch

  • 450+ experts on 30 subjects ready to help
  • Custom essay delivered in as few as 3 hours

Get high-quality help

author

Dr Jacklynne

Verified writer

  • Expert in: Life

writer

+ 120 experts online

By clicking “Check Writers’ Offers”, you agree to our terms of service and privacy policy . We’ll occasionally send you promo and account related email

No need to pay just yet!

Related Essays

3 pages / 1390 words

1 pages / 469 words

2 pages / 994 words

7 pages / 3009 words

Remember! This is just a sample.

You can get your custom paper by one of our expert writers.

121 writers online

Still can’t find what you need?

Browse our vast selection of original essay samples, each expertly formatted and styled

Related Essays on Divorce

Divorce is a complex and emotionally charged topic that affects many individuals and families. By understanding the causes, effects, and solutions related to divorce, we can better support and empathize with those going through [...]

Financial problems cause divorce—this is a statement that captures the intricate connection between financial stress and the breakdown of marital relationships. Marriage is a union built on shared dreams, responsibilities, and [...]

What is infidelity? This is having an affair outside marriage. Most people call it cheating or better still adultery. Cases of cheating are rampant nowadays. There are so many cases of spouses killing each other simply because [...]

A child's life can be destroyed just because of certain decisions that parents take. When I was 12 years old, I used to spend a lot of time with my best friend, Daniel. Daniel was always happy and enjoyed very moment of his [...]

The purpose of this essay is to elaborate on the major causes of divorce, psychological effects and how to cope with it. An increase in amount of U.S. couples divorcing is growing. Statistics stated in the essay is proof. The [...]

Divorce is a serious issue that most married couples are facing today or in other words it is the outcome that we are seeing couples that are married go through due to several reasons. Therefore, This paper will be elaborating [...]

Related Topics

By clicking “Send”, you agree to our Terms of service and Privacy statement . We will occasionally send you account related emails.

Where do you want us to send this sample?

By clicking “Continue”, you agree to our terms of service and privacy policy.

Be careful. This essay is not unique

This essay was donated by a student and is likely to have been used and submitted before

Download this Sample

Free samples may contain mistakes and not unique parts

Sorry, we could not paraphrase this essay. Our professional writers can rewrite it and get you a unique paper.

Please check your inbox.

We can write you a custom essay that will follow your exact instructions and meet the deadlines. Let's fix your grades together!

Get Your Personalized Essay in 3 Hours or Less!

We use cookies to personalyze your web-site experience. By continuing we’ll assume you board with our cookie policy .

  • Instructions Followed To The Letter
  • Deadlines Met At Every Stage
  • Unique And Plagiarism Free

factors of divorce essay

  • Share full article

Advertisement

Supported by

Essay; Bailing Out Moscow

By William Safire

  • Feb. 25, 1988

Essay; Bailing Out Moscow

We have just been told by a well-placed informant inside the Kremlin that the Soviet Union is not the economic power our intelligence analysts have long thought it was.

Throughout the Reagan years, our experts have assumed that Soviet growth averaged slightly over 3 percent yearly. That is a vital statistic: we then put a price each year on what we know the Soviet military machine cost, and get what we hope is a clear idea of what percentage of its economy Moscow is devoting to armament.

That's just about the most important intelligence number of all. In the 70's, a ''Team B'' of outsiders was brought in by the C.I.A. to challenge the conventional wisdom, and doubled the previous estimate to 13 percent in the Soviet Union. That laid the basis for our own increased defense spending, which now amounts to 6 percent of our gross national product.

In a little-noted passage of his long speech last week to his Central Committee, Mikhail Gorbachev made a stunning revelation that kicks our estimates into a cocked hat.

He pointed out that during the Brezhnev years, economic growth had been artificially hiked by the sale of oil at high prices (the U.S.S.R. is the world's largest producer) and the accelerated sale of vodka (Soviet spending on alcohol may have reached 10 percent of total output, compared with less than 2 percent of ours).

''If we purge economic growth indicators of the influence of these factors,'' said Mr. Gorbachev, ''it turns out that, basically, for four five-year periods there was no increase in the absolute growth of the national income and, at the beginning of the 80's, it had even begun to fall. That is the real picture, comrades!''

No doubt the current Kremlin leader is trying to make the present bad economic picture look better by saying the old days under his predecessor were really much worse. But we should allow for the possibility that, concerning the 80's at least, Mr. Gorbachev may be telling the truth.

If that is the real picture, comrades, we have to do some fast reassessing of our own. During the 80's, as the price of oil has been cut in half, and the Soviet gulping of booze has been restricted, the total Soviet output is not likely to have risen much, if at all, from what Mr. Gorbachev says was its falling state in 1980.

Here is what that new assessment leads us to deduce: the Soviet economy has been stagnant (or possibly declining) for seven years - most definitely not growing steadily at the over-3-percent rate per year our analysts had been assuming. That means our assessment of total growth of about one-fourth in this decade has been egregiously mistaken. That supposedly seven-foot giant turns out to be closer to five feet tall, same as he was in the Brezhnev years.

Apply that new assessment to arms control. The way we estimate Soviet arms expenditures is by simple bean-counting, mainly from satellites, and that total is not affected. What does change is the percentage of the output devoted to arms; if it was 14 percent by the old assessment, it must be an unbearable 20 percent in the new reality Mr. Gorbachev reveals.

Thus, under pressure to reduce arms spending, he seeks treaties; forced to cut losses, he announces withdrawal from Afghanistan and may offer to reduce subsidies in Central America; faced with the prospect of having to match serious Star Wars spending, he rails at the idea of strategic defense.

Apply that no-growth, one-fourth-smaller fact to economic diplomacy. It explains why the Russians finally settled the old Czarist debt for a dime on the dollar, paving the way for a recent $77 million Soviet bond issue. That's also why the Kremlin will be seeking entry into the International Monetary Fund, GATT and the World Bank at the next meetings (in West Berlin) this fall. Soviet Communism is starving for capital.

Our European allies are rushing to lend Moscow money and to subsidize pipelines, while accommodationists here want to offer the Russians most-favored-nation status on trade. Commerce and State Department detenteniks await only vague ''economic reforms'' to end our opposition to Soviet entry into Western credit markets.

Here is a genuine issue to toss at the candidates in our election. In light of what the Soviet leader admits is ''a very serious financial problem,'' should U.S. policy seek to finance our adversary? Or should we ''stress'' Moscow now, as it surely would do to us if the roles were reversed?

Or should we use this moment of admitted Soviet economic weakness to put an irrevocable, verifiable, behavior-modifying price on every concession we confer?

factors of divorce essay

  • Mideast News
  • Art&Culture
  • ynetespanol
  • Privacy Policy
  • Terms of Use

Jewish woman serving 20 years in Bangladeshi prison receives divorce papers

In a complicated operation, rabbinical court emissary arrives at guarded prison in bangladesh to hand inmate her get - a jewish writ of divorce - through her cell bars.

הרב מוסר את הגט לאישה

152 Brilliant Divorce Essay Topics & Examples

For those who are studying law or social sciences, writing about divorce is a common task. Separation is a complicated issue that can arise from many different situations and lead to adverse outcomes. In this article we gathered an ultimate list of topics about divorce and gathered some tips to when working on the paper.

Gypsy Rose Blanchard files divorce papers

Gypsy Rose Blanchard has filed for divorce from her husband, Ryan Scott Anderson.

The convicted murderer filed official docs on Monday 8 April after less than two years of marriage, according to Us Weekly magazine.

News broke in March that the couple had called it quits, with Blanchard sharing a statement via her private Facebook account.

"People have been asking what is going on in my life. Unfortunately, my husband and I are going through a separation," she wrote at the time.

"I have the support of my family and friends to help guide me through this. I am learning to listen to my heart.

Blanchard was convicted of the second-degree murder of her mother, Dee Dee Blanchard, in 2015.

She was sentenced to 10 years in prison and paroled in December 2023.

In jail, Blanchard connected with Anderson, who had sent her a letter.

The pair exchanged vows during a jailhouse ceremony in July 2022, and split three months after Blanchard was released.

In 2019, Hulu released The Act, an eight part TV mini-series, starring Joey King as Blanchard.

Copyright 2024 Cover Media. Distributed by Tribune Content Agency, LLC.

Gypsy Rose Blanchard.

Sister of Maine mass shooting victim calls lawmakers’ 11th-hour bid for red flag law ‘nefarious’

FILE - Rain soaked memorials for those who died in a mass shooting sit along the roadside by Schemengees Bar & Grille, Monday, Oct. 30, 2023, in Lewiston, Maine. Testimony stretched into a second day, Tuesday, April 9, 2024, as a legislative committee heard testimony on the red flag proposal that aims to let family members or others petition a judge to initiate the process of temporarily removing someone’s guns during a psychiatric crisis. (AP Photo/Matt York, File)

  • Show more sharing options
  • Copy Link URL Copied!

The sister of one of the victims of the deadliest shooting in Maine history accused lawmakers of acting “nefariously” by pressing at the 11th hour of the legislative session for a so-called red flag law that could be used to take away guns from someone experiencing a psychiatric crisis. Others, however, said such a law could have saved lives.

Testimony stretched into a second day as a legislative committee heard public testimony Tuesday on the proposal that aims to let family members or others petition a judge to initiate the process of temporarily removing someone’s guns during a psychiatric crisis instead of letting police handle the process under the state’s existing “yellow flag” law.

Jill Walker, a licensed clinical social worker whose brother Jason was killed during the mass shooting, delivered an impassioned plea for lawmakers to reject the proposal. She said the yellow flag process is adequate, if used properly.

“I am disturbed that some members of the Maine Legislature have seized the opportunity to nefariously use the Oct. 25 tragedy for a political end,” Walker told the Judiciary Committee. “It’s my personal opinion that this was rushed,” she added.

But a statement read aloud on behalf of Jennifer Zanca, who was shot in the arm while trying to escape the carnage, indicated she believes a red flag law could have made a difference.

“I understand it’s a loaded topic and my friends have different opinions, but this is where I stand: The states that have safe gun laws, including waiting periods, background checks and red flag laws, have the lowest incidence of gun violence. The statistics are clear. It seems reasonable that we put these measures in place because it works,” Zanca’s statement said.

The red flag bill — subject of public testimony on Friday and on Tuesday — is among a number of proposals introduced in response to the Oct. 25 shootings by an Army reservist at a bowling alley and at a bar and grill in Lewiston. The Army and police were aware that the 40-year-old gunman had become paranoid and delusional, leading to his hospitalization. A fellow reservist warned that he might commit a mass shooting.

An independent commission said Maine’s existing law should have been invoked to take Card’s weapons. The “yellow flag” law requires police to initiate the process of removing someone’s guns in a crisis by taking them into protective custody, getting them evaluated and presenting findings to a judge. “Red flag” proposals allow an individual to directly go to a judge to initiate the process.

Critics contend someone rights could be trampled by taking police out of the equation.

Kathleen Szostek of Dixfield told the committee that the red flag proposal “lulls us into thinking we’re doing something about gun violence when we’re potentially trampling on the rights of law-abiding citizens.”

“This nation was founded on innocent until proven guilty. This bill is so wrong. Imagine how it could be weaponized in this divided environment,” said Szostek, who contended that the existing law “would work just fine if it was followed.”

Sheldon Bird of Bath took lawmakers to task for inaction on gun violence.

“The basic opening argument against any type of firearm restriction goes like this: ‘Guns don’t kill people, people kill people,’” Bird said. “This is specious at best, fraudulent at worst. If it were valid, then we would have no higher death rate than any other civilized country. Guns are a unique factor in the U.S. violence situation.”

Top headlines by email, weekday mornings

Get top headlines from the Union-Tribune in your inbox weekday mornings, including top news, local, sports, business, entertainment and opinion.

You may occasionally receive promotional content from the San Diego Union-Tribune.

More in this section

Muslim men perform an Eid al-Fitr prayer marking the end of the holy fasting month of Ramadan on a street in Jakarta, Indonesia, Wednesday, April 10, 2024. (AP Photo/Dita Alangkara)

Nation-World

Eid holiday tradition spurs Indonesia’s economy as tens millions of Muslims travel home

The Eid al-Fitr holiday marking the end of the Islamic holy month of Ramadan is being celebrated by Muslims with family reunions, new clothes and sweet treats

Stanford head coach Tara VanDerveer reacts toward players during the first half of the team's second-round college basketball game in the women's NCAA Tournament against Iowa State in Stanford, Calif., Sunday, March 24, 2024. (AP Photo/Jeff Chiu)

Tara VanDerveer retires as Stanford women’s hoops coach after setting NCAA wins record this year

Tara VanDerveer, the winningest basketball coach in NCAA history, has announced her retirement after 38 seasons leading the Stanford women’s team and 45 years overall

FILE - Texas linebacker Jaylan Ford (41) tries to tackle Washington running back Tylin "Tybo" Rogers (20) during the Sugar Bowl CFP NCAA semifinal college football game, Jan. 1, 2024, in New Orleans. Rogers was arrested Friday, April 5, and charged Tuesday, April 9, with raping two women in Seattle. Court documents say he played in two College Football Playoff games for the school after the allegations were known to the university. (AP Photo/Jacob Kupferman, File)

University of Washington football player arrested, charged with raping 2 women

Court documents show a University of Washington football player has been arrested and charged with raping two women in Seattle

Firefighters walk past a building called New Lucky House where a fire started in Hong Kong, Wednesday, April 10, 2024. (AP Photo/Louise Delmotte)

Fire in large Hong Kong residential building kills at least 5 people and injures 27

A fire in a large, mostly residential building in Hong Kong has killed at least five people and left another 27 injured

Hong Kong police say a building fire has killed at least four people and injured 12

Tara VanDerveer, winningest basketball coach in NCAA history, retires after 38 seasons leading Stanford women’s team

Ch. 9 The Development of Russia

Ivan i and the rise of moscow, learning objective.

  • Outline the key points that helped Moscow become so powerful and how Ivan I accomplished these major victories
  • Moscow was considered a small trading outpost under the principality of Vladimir-Suzdal into the 13th century.
  • Power struggles and constant raids under the Mongol Empire’s Golden Horde caused once powerful cities, such as Kiev, to struggle financially and culturally.
  • Ivan I utilized the relative calm and safety of the northern city of Moscow to entice a larger population and wealth to move there.
  • Alliances between Golden Horde leaders and Ivan I saved Moscow from many of the raids and destruction of other centers, like Tver.

A rival city to Moscow that eventually lost favor under the Golden Horde.

Grand Prince of Vladimir

The title given to the ruler of this northern province, where Moscow was situated.

The Rise of Moscow

Moscow was only a small trading outpost in the principality of Vladimir-Suzdal in Kievan Rus’ before the invasion of Mongol forces during the 13th century. However, due to the unstable environment of the Golden Horde, and the deft leadership of Ivan I at a critical time during the 13th century, Moscow became a safe haven of prosperity during his reign. It also became the new seat of power of the Russian Orthodox Church.

Ivan I (also known as Ivan Kalita) was born around 1288 to the Prince of Moscow, Daniil Aleksandrovich. He was born during a time of devastation and upheaval in Rus’. Kiev had been overtaken by the invading Mongol forces in 1240, and most of the Rus’ principalities had been absorbed into the Golden Horde of the Mongol Empire by the time Ivan was born. He ascended to the seat of Prince of Moscow after the death of his father, and then the death of his older brother Yury.

image

Ivan I. He was born around 1288 and died in either 1340 or 1341, still holding the title of Grand Prince of Vladimir.

Ivan I stepped into a role that had already been expanded by his predecessors. Both his older brother and his father had captured nearby lands, including Kolomna and Mozhaisk. Yury had also made a successful alliance with the Mongol leader Uzbeg Khan and married his sister, securing more power and advantages within the hierarchy of the Golden Horde.

Ivan I continued the family tradition and petitioned the leaders of the Golden Horde to gain the seat of Grand Prince of Vladimir. His other three rivals, all princes of Tver, had previously been granted the title in prior years. However they were all subsequently deprived of the title and all three aspiring princes also eventually ended up murdered. Ivan I, on the other hand, garnered the title from Khan Muhammad Ozbeg in 1328. This new title, which he kept until his death around 1340, meant he could collect taxes from the Russian lands as a ruling prince and position his tiny city as a major player in the Vladimir region.

Moscow’s Rise

During this time of upheaval, the tiny outpost of Moscow had multiple advantages that repositioned this town and set it up for future prosperity under Ivan I. Three major contributing factors helped Ivan I relocate power to this area:

  • It was situated in between other major principalities on the east and west so it was often protected from the more devastating invasions.
  • This relative safety, compared to Tver and Ryazan, for example, started to bring in tax-paying citizens who wanted a safe place to build a home and earn a livelihood.
  • Finally, Moscow was set up perfectly along the trade route from Novgorod to the Volga River, giving it an economic advantage from the start.

Ivan I also spurred on the growth of Moscow by actively recruiting people to move to the region. In addition, he bought the freedom of people who had been captured by the extensive Mongol raids. These recruits further bolstered the population of Moscow. Finally, he focused his attention on establishing peace and routing out thieves and raiding parties in the region, making for a safe and calm metaphorical island in a storm of unsettled political and military upsets.

image

Kievan Rus’ 1220-1240. This map illustrates the power dynamics at play during the 13th century shortly before Ivan I was born. Sarai, the capital of the Golden Horde, sat to the southeast, while Moscow (not visible on this map) was tucked up in the northern forests of Vladimir-Suzdal.

Ivan I knew that the peace of his region depended upon keeping up an alliance with the Golden Horde, which he did faithfully. Moscow’s increased wealth during this era also allowed him to loan money to neighboring principalities. These regions then became indebted to Moscow, bolstering its political and financial position.

In addition, a few neighboring cities and villages were subsumed into Moscow during the 1320s and 1330s, including Uglich, Belozero, and Galich. These shifts slowly transformed the tiny trading outpost into a bustling city center in the northern forests of what was once Kievan Rus’.

Russian Orthodox Church and The Center of Moscow

Ivan I committed some of Moscow’s new wealth to building a splendid city center and creating an iconic religious setting. He built stone churches in the center of Moscow with his newly gained wealth. Ivan I also tempted one of the most important religious leaders in Rus’, the Orthodox Metropolitan Peter, to the city of Moscow. Before the rule of the Golden Horde the original Russian Orthodox Church was based in Kiev. After years of devastation, Metropolitan Peter transferred the seat of power to Moscow where a new Renaissance of culture was blossoming. This perfectly timed transformation of Moscow coincided with the decades of devastation in Kiev, effectively transferring power to the north once again.

image

Peter of Moscow and scenes from his life as depicted in a 15th-century icon. This religious leader helped bring cultural power to Moscow by moving the seat of the Russian Orthodox Church there during Ivan I’s reign.

One of the most lasting accomplishments of Ivan I was to petition the Khan based in Sarai to designate his son, who would become Simeon the Proud, as the heir to the title of Grand Prince of Vladimir. This agreement a line of succession that meant the ruling head of Moscow would almost always hold power over the principality of Vladimir, ensuring Moscow held a powerful position for decades to come.

  • Boundless World History. Authored by : Boundless. Located at : https://www.boundless.com/world-history/textbooks/boundless-world-history-textbook/ . License : CC BY-SA: Attribution-ShareAlike

IMAGES

  1. Divorce negative and a positive impact Free Essay Example

    factors of divorce essay

  2. Factors That Influence Divorce Rates Free Essay Example

    factors of divorce essay

  3. Essay -The reason of divorce

    factors of divorce essay

  4. Causes and Effects of Divorce

    factors of divorce essay

  5. Children of Divorce And Their Issues

    factors of divorce essay

  6. Formative essay

    factors of divorce essay

COMMENTS

  1. Top 12 Reasons for Divorce and Why Marriages Fail

    inadequate preparation for marriage. domestic violence. financial problems. conflict about domestic work. lack of family support. religious differences. A smaller-scale study in 2013 revealed that ...

  2. Causes Of Divorce: 19 Of The Most Common Reasons

    The 19 Most Common Reasons for Divorce. 1. Too Much Conflict, Incessant Arguing. Constant conflict, bitter battles, and going to bed angry every night are no one's idea of a healthy marriage. "How you handle conflict is the single most important predictor of whether your marriage will survive." — Dr. Howard Markman.

  3. Divorce, Its Causes, Effects, and Solutions

    Divorce has several factors behind it and to many it can have alternate definitions. Personally I think divorce is rather simple to understand if you take the literal definition of separation. To each, their own, when defining definition because for some it is a gateway to peace and for others it is a wall to the bridge to true happiness ...

  4. Divorce, Its Causes And Effects: [Essay Example], 1452 words

    Mental and psychological effects such as depression and misery are what married couples encounter while going through a divorce. Deciding to terminate a union can be traumatic and chaotic, especially for marriages that lasted for decades. An estimation of 65% of couples undergoes depression while divorcing.

  5. Essays About Divorce: Top 5 Examples And 7 Prompts

    1. The Major Reasons for Divorce. There are many causes of the dissolution of marriage, and many essays have already discussed these reasons. However, you can explain these reasons differently. For example, you can focus on domestic abuse, constant fighting, infidelity, financial issues, etc.

  6. Divorce and its Impacts on Family Members Cause and Effect Essay

    Impacts to Children. Divorce has profound implications on the children of the marriage. This is regardless of whether they are adult children or otherwise. Study has shown that divorce has serious implications on development of children and affects their future relationships. These effects may be discussed in terms of what the child has to lose ...

  7. Essays on Divorce

    Divorce, Its Causes and Effects. 3 pages / 1452 words. The purpose of this essay is to elaborate on the major causes of divorce, psychological effects and how to cope with it. An increase in amount of U.S. couples divorcing is growing. Statistics stated in the essay is proof.

  8. The Causes of Divorce

    One of the main causes of divorces is betrayal; another is unequal spending and earning. Exploring these causes could provide an insight into how to avoid them. We will write a custom essay on your topic. 809 writers online. Learn More.

  9. The Main Causes of Divorce

    Rationality. In their observational study, Aghababei, Haghighatian, and Far (2017) examined cases of divorce and outlined the most common types of divorce and factors contributing to the conflict. The study found that rationality and thoughtfulness accounted for fewer fights in the divorce process.

  10. An Honest Look at the Pros and Cons of Divorce

    Key points. Divorce can cause positive and negative outcomes for both the parents and children involved. Among the pros are greater freedom, room for growth, and an improved environment for ...

  11. Reasons for Divorce and Recollections of Premarital Intervention

    The next most often cited major contributing factor to divorce was infidelity, endorsed by 59.6% of individuals and by at least one partner in 88.8% of couples. Of those couples who had a least one partner report infidelity as a reason for divorce, only 31.3% represented couples in which both partners agreed that infidelity was a major ...

  12. (PDF) Divorce: Trends, patterns, causes, consequences

    Socioeconomic, demographic and contextual factors associated with divorce in Finland are generally the same as those in other similar countries (Härkönen, 2014; Lyngstad and Jalovaara, 2010 ...

  13. The Impact of Divorce on Children

    Research published by sociologist Lisa Strohschein showed that, even before marital breakup, children whose parents later divorce exhibit higher levels of anxiety, depression, and antisocial ...

  14. Families: Changing Patterns of Separation and Divorce

    Separation. Family. It is much easier to find out information about divorce than it is separation. Divorce greatly increased after the 1969 Divorce Reform Act. This legislation made getting a divorce much easier and took away the need to prove that someone was at fault. It also made it equally easy for a woman to obtain a divorce as a man.

  15. What are the causes and effects of rising divorce rate?

    Currently, the rise of divorce rate is a topical issue. From my perspective, there are two main causes and two key impacts on. this. phenomenon, which I will outline now. First. of all, perhaps the main cause is the occurrence of violence in the house. According to statistics, 50% of women in Vietnam have to suffer from being hit by their ...

  16. Causes and Effects of Divorce

    Divorce is very common in the modern society due to the above mentioned reasons. However, if all attempts to save a relationship fail it is better for a person to divorce and get rid of a risky marriage than waste their lives in them. Works Cited. Stewart, Alison. Divorce: Causes and Consequences (Current Perspectives in Psychology). New Haven ...

  17. Causes of Divorce Essay

    Divorce can be defined as a legal dissolution of marriage because of many factors which can be internal or external. Marriage is a bond that unites two people who decide to live together for the rest of their life and to stay side by side for health and sickness. ... Causes of Divorce Essay. (2022, September 27). Edubirdie. Retrieved April 5 ...

  18. The States Where Divorce Is Most Likely

    The overall divorce rate in the United States is 2.5% compared to a worldwide crude divorce rate of 1.8%. Wyoming, New Mexico, Arkansas, West Virginia and Kentucky are the top five states for ...

  19. What Causes Divorce: Overview of The Factors

    There have many factors that cause the divorce, such as alcohol abuse, lack of money, sexual indiscretion, and immaturity of one or both parties. Divorce case is happening more in present comparing to the past and now a day's people didn't take serious of marriage. ... Divorce Informative Speech Essay. Divorce is a complex and emotionally ...

  20. PDF Engaging the Adult Learner Generational Mix

    higher divorce rates, drug abuse, political scandals and the Cold War. They saw a negative society and had to rely on themselves more often. Their cultural experiences are credited for giving them their greater sense of independence, questioning of authority and wanting to find a balance between family and work.

  21. Opinion

    Essay; Bailing Out Moscow. By William Safire. Feb. 25, 1988; Share full article. ... ''If we purge economic growth indicators of the influence of these factors,'' said Mr. Gorbachev, ''it turns ...

  22. Jewish woman serving 20 years in Bangladeshi prison receives divorce papers

    Divorce. Bangladesh. Israeli Rabbinical Court emissaries arrived at a maximum-security prison in Bangladesh, where an Israeli woman is currently serving a 20-year term for drug trafficking. The ...

  23. 152 Divorce Topics to Discuss & Free Essay Samples

    Social Implications of Divorce on Children. This essay discuses how divorce causes social problems to children, social implications of divorce, and social movements that are oriented to issues of divorce. The Cause and Effect of Divorce on Children. Given that divorce rates are increasing in the modern society, what are the causes and effects ...

  24. PDF The Rise of Muscovy

    The goal of this paper is to examine how Moscow. and right to rule, between the years 1325 until 1584. several interpretations have arisen. Several historians. as rising to power in spite of the Mongols. towards the question of how the Mongols influenced the rise of the Muscovite state. There has been three basic.

  25. Gypsy Rose Blanchard files divorce papers

    Gypsy Rose Blanchard has filed for divorce from her husband, Ryan Scott Anderson. The convicted murderer filed official docs on Monday 8 April after less than two years of marriage, according to ...

  26. Sister of Maine mass shooting victim calls lawmakers' 11th-hour bid for

    The sister of one of the victims of the deadliest mass shooting in Maine history is accusing state lawmakers of acting "nefariously" by pressing at the 11th hour for a so-called red flag law

  27. Ivan I and the Rise of Moscow

    Ivan I (also known as Ivan Kalita) was born around 1288 to the Prince of Moscow, Daniil Aleksandrovich. He was born during a time of devastation and upheaval in Rus'. Kiev had been overtaken by the invading Mongol forces in 1240, and most of the Rus' principalities had been absorbed into the Golden Horde of the Mongol Empire by the time ...