problem solving style of communication

How to master communication in problem solving

May 11, 2023 The path from problem to solution is not linear. In fast-moving, complex times, decision-makers can’t effectively act alone when it comes to solving complicated workplace problems; diverse perspectives and rigorous debate are crucial to determining the best steps to take. What’s missing in many companies is the use of “contributory dissent,” or the capabilities required to engage in healthy if divergent discussions about critical business problems, write Ben Fletcher , Chris Hartley , Rupert Hoskin , and Dana Maor  in a recent article . Contributory dissent allows individuals and groups to air their differences in a way that moves the discussion toward a positive outcome and doesn’t undermine leadership or group cohesion. Check out these insights to learn how to establish cultures and structures where individuals and teams feel free to bring innovative—and often better—alternative solutions to the table, and dive into the best ways to master communication in problem solving.

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1. WHAT IS TECHNICAL COMMUNICATION?

1.1 KEY CONCEPT: Problem-Solving Approach to Communications Tasks

In the workplace, many of the communications tasks you perform are designed to solve a problem or improve a situation. Whether you are doing work for a client, for your employer, with your team, or for someone else, you will typically use some sort of design process to tackle and solve the problem. A clearly-articulated design process provides you with a clear, step-by-step plan for finding the best solution for your situation.

Take a moment to search the Internet for the term “design process” and look at “images.” You will find many variations. Have a look at several of them and see if you can find a common pattern.

One commonality you will likely find in examining other people’s design process diagrams is this: the first step in designing any solution is to clearly define the problem . Figure 1.1.1 shows a typical design process, from problem definition to communicating the solution. Think about the kind of communication that each step of this process might entail.

You cannot begin to work on solutions until you have a clear definition of the problem and goals you want to achieve. This critical first stage of the design process requires that you effectively communicate with the “client” or whoever has the “problem” that needs solving. Poor communication at this stage can derail a project from the start. The rest of the process might seem linear and straightforward, but it is normal to “iterate” or return to previous steps several times throughout the process. Keep in mind that not all projects will go through all steps in this process; and some projects might require additional steps not included in this process.

For our purposes, we will use Barry Hyman’s Problem Formulation model  [1] to clearly define a problem. Hyman’s Problem Formulation model consists of 4 elements:

• Need Statement: recognizes and describes the need for a solution or improvement to an “unsatisfactory situation.”  It answers the questions, “what is wrong with the way things are currently? What is unsatisfactory about it? What negative effects does this situation cause?” You may need to do research and supply data to quantify the negative effects.
• Goal Statement:   describes what the improved situation would look like once a solution has been implemented. The goal statement defines the scope of your search for a solution. At this point, do not describe your solution, only the goal that any proposed solution should achieve. The broader you make your goal, the more numerous and varied your solutions can be; a narrowly focused goal limits the number and variety of possible solutions.
• Objectives :  define measurable, specific outcomes that any feasible solution should optimize (aspects you can use to “grade” the effectiveness of the solution). Objectives provide you with ways to quantifiably measure how well any solution will solve the problem; ideally, they will allow you to compare multiple solutions and determine which one is most effective (which one gets the highest score on meeting the objectives?).
• Constraints :  define the limits that any feasible solution must adhere to in order to be acceptable (pass/fail conditions, range limits, etc .). The key word here is must — constraints are the “go/no go” conditions that determine whether a solution is acceptable or not.  These often include budget and time limits, as well as legal, safety and other regulatory requirements.

Communication as Solution

This model can apply to a communications task as well as more physical design tasks. Imagine your communications task as something that will solve a problem or improve a situation. Before you begin drafting this document or presentation, define the problem you want to solve with this document:

• A potential client lacks sufficient information on whether the solution I have proposed to solve the client’s problem will be feasible, affordable, and effective.
• My instructor lacks sufficient examples of my written work to assign a grade for how well I met the course learning objectives. 
• Provide the client with enough information, in an effective and readable format, to make a decision (ideally, to hire you to build the solution for the problem).
• Provide my instructor with samples of my writing that demonstrate my achievement of the course learning objectives (provide relevant and complete  information in a professionally appropriate forma t, using evidence-based argument; earn an A+ grade on the assignment. )
• Review the client’s RFP to see what specific objectives it lists and how your proposal will be assessed.
• Review the Assignment Description and G rading Rubric for your assignment to determin e specific requirements and learning objectives that your instructor will use to evaluate your work.
• how much time is your audience willing to spend on this? How long can you make your document or presentation? (word length/time limit)
• What format and style do they require? Is there a Style Guide you must follow? A template you can use?
• How much time do you have to create it?  Do you have a deadline? (due date)
• Are there requirements for using sources? (academic integrity rules)

Keep in mind that the document you produce is evaluated in terms of how well it responds to the “problem” — that is, how well it meets the overall goal and demonstrates achievement of specific objectives while abiding by constraints.

EXERCISE 1.2 Define a problem

Think of a problem or an “unsatisfactory situation” that you have recently experienced.  It could be as simple as it’s 8pm, I haven’t had dinner yet, and I’m hungry . Use Hymen’s Problem Formulation schema to formally define the problem — without proposing any particular solutions. Your problem definition should ideally allow multiple possible solutions that adhere to the following:

• Need/Unsatisfactory situation:
• What is your goal?
• What are some measurable objectives you want to achieve?
• What are your constraints?

Download and use the attached Problem Definition Template (.docx)

• B. Hyman, “Ch. 2: Problem formulation,” in Fundamentals of Engineering Design , Upper Saddle River, NJ: Prentice Hall, 2002, pp. 40-54. ↵

Technical Writing Essentials Copyright © 2019 by Suzan Last is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 International License , except where otherwise noted.

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14.3 Problem Solving and Decision Making in Groups

Learning objectives.

• Discuss the common components and characteristics of problems.
• Explain the five steps of the group problem-solving process.
• Describe the brainstorming and discussion that should take place before the group makes a decision.
• Compare and contrast the different decision-making techniques.
• Discuss the various influences on decision making.

Although the steps of problem solving and decision making that we will discuss next may seem obvious, we often don’t think to or choose not to use them. Instead, we start working on a problem and later realize we are lost and have to backtrack. I’m sure we’ve all reached a point in a project or task and had the “OK, now what?” moment. I’ve recently taken up some carpentry projects as a functional hobby, and I have developed a great respect for the importance of advanced planning. It’s frustrating to get to a crucial point in building or fixing something only to realize that you have to unscrew a support board that you already screwed in, have to drive back to the hardware store to get something that you didn’t think to get earlier, or have to completely start over. In this section, we will discuss the group problem-solving process, methods of decision making, and influences on these processes.

Group Problem Solving

The problem-solving process involves thoughts, discussions, actions, and decisions that occur from the first consideration of a problematic situation to the goal. The problems that groups face are varied, but some common problems include budgeting funds, raising funds, planning events, addressing customer or citizen complaints, creating or adapting products or services to fit needs, supporting members, and raising awareness about issues or causes.

Problems of all sorts have three common components (Adams & Galanes, 2009):

• An undesirable situation. When conditions are desirable, there isn’t a problem.
• A desired situation. Even though it may only be a vague idea, there is a drive to better the undesirable situation. The vague idea may develop into a more precise goal that can be achieved, although solutions are not yet generated.
• Obstacles between undesirable and desirable situation. These are things that stand in the way between the current situation and the group’s goal of addressing it. This component of a problem requires the most work, and it is the part where decision making occurs. Some examples of obstacles include limited funding, resources, personnel, time, or information. Obstacles can also take the form of people who are working against the group, including people resistant to change or people who disagree.

Discussion of these three elements of a problem helps the group tailor its problem-solving process, as each problem will vary. While these three general elements are present in each problem, the group should also address specific characteristics of the problem. Five common and important characteristics to consider are task difficulty, number of possible solutions, group member interest in problem, group member familiarity with problem, and the need for solution acceptance (Adams & Galanes, 2009).

• Task difficulty. Difficult tasks are also typically more complex. Groups should be prepared to spend time researching and discussing a difficult and complex task in order to develop a shared foundational knowledge. This typically requires individual work outside of the group and frequent group meetings to share information.
• Number of possible solutions. There are usually multiple ways to solve a problem or complete a task, but some problems have more potential solutions than others. Figuring out how to prepare a beach house for an approaching hurricane is fairly complex and difficult, but there are still a limited number of things to do—for example, taping and boarding up windows; turning off water, electricity, and gas; trimming trees; and securing loose outside objects. Other problems may be more creatively based. For example, designing a new restaurant may entail using some standard solutions but could also entail many different types of innovation with layout and design.
• Group member interest in problem. When group members are interested in the problem, they will be more engaged with the problem-solving process and invested in finding a quality solution. Groups with high interest in and knowledge about the problem may want more freedom to develop and implement solutions, while groups with low interest may prefer a leader who provides structure and direction.
• Group familiarity with problem. Some groups encounter a problem regularly, while other problems are more unique or unexpected. A family who has lived in hurricane alley for decades probably has a better idea of how to prepare its house for a hurricane than does a family that just recently moved from the Midwest. Many groups that rely on funding have to revisit a budget every year, and in recent years, groups have had to get more creative with budgets as funding has been cut in nearly every sector. When group members aren’t familiar with a problem, they will need to do background research on what similar groups have done and may also need to bring in outside experts.
• Need for solution acceptance. In this step, groups must consider how many people the decision will affect and how much “buy-in” from others the group needs in order for their solution to be successfully implemented. Some small groups have many stakeholders on whom the success of a solution depends. Other groups are answerable only to themselves. When a small group is planning on building a new park in a crowded neighborhood or implementing a new policy in a large business, it can be very difficult to develop solutions that will be accepted by all. In such cases, groups will want to poll those who will be affected by the solution and may want to do a pilot implementation to see how people react. Imposing an excellent solution that doesn’t have buy-in from stakeholders can still lead to failure.

Group problem solving can be a confusing puzzle unless it is approached systematically.

Muness Castle – Problem Solving – CC BY-SA 2.0.

Group Problem-Solving Process

There are several variations of similar problem-solving models based on US American scholar John Dewey’s reflective thinking process (Bormann & Bormann, 1988). As you read through the steps in the process, think about how you can apply what we learned regarding the general and specific elements of problems. Some of the following steps are straightforward, and they are things we would logically do when faced with a problem. However, taking a deliberate and systematic approach to problem solving has been shown to benefit group functioning and performance. A deliberate approach is especially beneficial for groups that do not have an established history of working together and will only be able to meet occasionally. Although a group should attend to each step of the process, group leaders or other group members who facilitate problem solving should be cautious not to dogmatically follow each element of the process or force a group along. Such a lack of flexibility could limit group member input and negatively affect the group’s cohesion and climate.

Step 1: Define the Problem

Define the problem by considering the three elements shared by every problem: the current undesirable situation, the goal or more desirable situation, and obstacles in the way (Adams & Galanes, 2009). At this stage, group members share what they know about the current situation, without proposing solutions or evaluating the information. Here are some good questions to ask during this stage: What is the current difficulty? How did we come to know that the difficulty exists? Who/what is involved? Why is it meaningful/urgent/important? What have the effects been so far? What, if any, elements of the difficulty require clarification? At the end of this stage, the group should be able to compose a single sentence that summarizes the problem called a problem statement . Avoid wording in the problem statement or question that hints at potential solutions. A small group formed to investigate ethical violations of city officials could use the following problem statement: “Our state does not currently have a mechanism for citizens to report suspected ethical violations by city officials.”

Step 2: Analyze the Problem

During this step a group should analyze the problem and the group’s relationship to the problem. Whereas the first step involved exploring the “what” related to the problem, this step focuses on the “why.” At this stage, group members can discuss the potential causes of the difficulty. Group members may also want to begin setting out an agenda or timeline for the group’s problem-solving process, looking forward to the other steps. To fully analyze the problem, the group can discuss the five common problem variables discussed before. Here are two examples of questions that the group formed to address ethics violations might ask: Why doesn’t our city have an ethics reporting mechanism? Do cities of similar size have such a mechanism? Once the problem has been analyzed, the group can pose a problem question that will guide the group as it generates possible solutions. “How can citizens report suspected ethical violations of city officials and how will such reports be processed and addressed?” As you can see, the problem question is more complex than the problem statement, since the group has moved on to more in-depth discussion of the problem during step 2.

Step 3: Generate Possible Solutions

During this step, group members generate possible solutions to the problem. Again, solutions should not be evaluated at this point, only proposed and clarified. The question should be what could we do to address this problem, not what should we do to address it. It is perfectly OK for a group member to question another person’s idea by asking something like “What do you mean?” or “Could you explain your reasoning more?” Discussions at this stage may reveal a need to return to previous steps to better define or more fully analyze a problem. Since many problems are multifaceted, it is necessary for group members to generate solutions for each part of the problem separately, making sure to have multiple solutions for each part. Stopping the solution-generating process prematurely can lead to groupthink. For the problem question previously posed, the group would need to generate solutions for all three parts of the problem included in the question. Possible solutions for the first part of the problem (How can citizens report ethical violations?) may include “online reporting system, e-mail, in-person, anonymously, on-the-record,” and so on. Possible solutions for the second part of the problem (How will reports be processed?) may include “daily by a newly appointed ethics officer, weekly by a nonpartisan nongovernment employee,” and so on. Possible solutions for the third part of the problem (How will reports be addressed?) may include “by a newly appointed ethics commission, by the accused’s supervisor, by the city manager,” and so on.

Step 4: Evaluate Solutions

During this step, solutions can be critically evaluated based on their credibility, completeness, and worth. Once the potential solutions have been narrowed based on more obvious differences in relevance and/or merit, the group should analyze each solution based on its potential effects—especially negative effects. Groups that are required to report the rationale for their decision or whose decisions may be subject to public scrutiny would be wise to make a set list of criteria for evaluating each solution. Additionally, solutions can be evaluated based on how well they fit with the group’s charge and the abilities of the group. To do this, group members may ask, “Does this solution live up to the original purpose or mission of the group?” and “Can the solution actually be implemented with our current resources and connections?” and “How will this solution be supported, funded, enforced, and assessed?” Secondary tensions and substantive conflict, two concepts discussed earlier, emerge during this step of problem solving, and group members will need to employ effective critical thinking and listening skills.

Decision making is part of the larger process of problem solving and it plays a prominent role in this step. While there are several fairly similar models for problem solving, there are many varied decision-making techniques that groups can use. For example, to narrow the list of proposed solutions, group members may decide by majority vote, by weighing the pros and cons, or by discussing them until a consensus is reached. There are also more complex decision-making models like the “six hats method,” which we will discuss later. Once the final decision is reached, the group leader or facilitator should confirm that the group is in agreement. It may be beneficial to let the group break for a while or even to delay the final decision until a later meeting to allow people time to evaluate it outside of the group context.

Step 5: Implement and Assess the Solution

Implementing the solution requires some advanced planning, and it should not be rushed unless the group is operating under strict time restraints or delay may lead to some kind of harm. Although some solutions can be implemented immediately, others may take days, months, or years. As was noted earlier, it may be beneficial for groups to poll those who will be affected by the solution as to their opinion of it or even to do a pilot test to observe the effectiveness of the solution and how people react to it. Before implementation, groups should also determine how and when they would assess the effectiveness of the solution by asking, “How will we know if the solution is working or not?” Since solution assessment will vary based on whether or not the group is disbanded, groups should also consider the following questions: If the group disbands after implementation, who will be responsible for assessing the solution? If the solution fails, will the same group reconvene or will a new group be formed?

Once a solution has been reached and the group has the “green light” to implement it, it should proceed deliberately and cautiously, making sure to consider possible consequences and address them as needed.

Jocko Benoit – Prodigal Light – CC BY-NC-ND 2.0.

Certain elements of the solution may need to be delegated out to various people inside and outside the group. Group members may also be assigned to implement a particular part of the solution based on their role in the decision making or because it connects to their area of expertise. Likewise, group members may be tasked with publicizing the solution or “selling” it to a particular group of stakeholders. Last, the group should consider its future. In some cases, the group will get to decide if it will stay together and continue working on other tasks or if it will disband. In other cases, outside forces determine the group’s fate.

“Getting Competent”

Problem Solving and Group Presentations

Giving a group presentation requires that individual group members and the group as a whole solve many problems and make many decisions. Although having more people involved in a presentation increases logistical difficulties and has the potential to create more conflict, a well-prepared and well-delivered group presentation can be more engaging and effective than a typical presentation. The main problems facing a group giving a presentation are (1) dividing responsibilities, (2) coordinating schedules and time management, and (3) working out the logistics of the presentation delivery.

In terms of dividing responsibilities, assigning individual work at the first meeting and then trying to fit it all together before the presentation (which is what many college students do when faced with a group project) is not the recommended method. Integrating content and visual aids created by several different people into a seamless final product takes time and effort, and the person “stuck” with this job at the end usually ends up developing some resentment toward his or her group members. While it’s OK for group members to do work independently outside of group meetings, spend time working together to help set up some standards for content and formatting expectations that will help make later integration of work easier. Taking the time to complete one part of the presentation together can help set those standards for later individual work. Discuss the roles that various group members will play openly so there isn’t role confusion. There could be one point person for keeping track of the group’s progress and schedule, one point person for communication, one point person for content integration, one point person for visual aids, and so on. Each person shouldn’t do all that work on his or her own but help focus the group’s attention on his or her specific area during group meetings (Stanton, 2009).

Scheduling group meetings is one of the most challenging problems groups face, given people’s busy lives. From the beginning, it should be clearly communicated that the group needs to spend considerable time in face-to-face meetings, and group members should know that they may have to make an occasional sacrifice to attend. Especially important is the commitment to scheduling time to rehearse the presentation. Consider creating a contract of group guidelines that includes expectations for meeting attendance to increase group members’ commitment.

Group presentations require members to navigate many logistics of their presentation. While it may be easier for a group to assign each member to create a five-minute segment and then transition from one person to the next, this is definitely not the most engaging method. Creating a master presentation and then assigning individual speakers creates a more fluid and dynamic presentation and allows everyone to become familiar with the content, which can help if a person doesn’t show up to present and during the question-and-answer section. Once the content of the presentation is complete, figure out introductions, transitions, visual aids, and the use of time and space (Stanton, 2012). In terms of introductions, figure out if one person will introduce all the speakers at the beginning, if speakers will introduce themselves at the beginning, or if introductions will occur as the presentation progresses. In terms of transitions, make sure each person has included in his or her speaking notes when presentation duties switch from one person to the next. Visual aids have the potential to cause hiccups in a group presentation if they aren’t fluidly integrated. Practicing with visual aids and having one person control them may help prevent this. Know how long your presentation is and know how you’re going to use the space. Presenters should know how long the whole presentation should be and how long each of their segments should be so that everyone can share the responsibility of keeping time. Also consider the size and layout of the presentation space. You don’t want presenters huddled in a corner until it’s their turn to speak or trapped behind furniture when their turn comes around.

• Of the three main problems facing group presenters, which do you think is the most challenging and why?
• Why do you think people tasked with a group presentation (especially students) prefer to divide the parts up and have members work on them independently before coming back together and integrating each part? What problems emerge from this method? In what ways might developing a master presentation and then assigning parts to different speakers be better than the more divided method? What are the drawbacks to the master presentation method?

Decision Making in Groups

We all engage in personal decision making daily, and we all know that some decisions are more difficult than others. When we make decisions in groups, we face some challenges that we do not face in our personal decision making, but we also stand to benefit from some advantages of group decision making (Napier & Gershenfeld, 2004). Group decision making can appear fair and democratic but really only be a gesture that covers up the fact that certain group members or the group leader have already decided. Group decision making also takes more time than individual decisions and can be burdensome if some group members do not do their assigned work, divert the group with self-centered or unproductive role behaviors, or miss meetings. Conversely, though, group decisions are often more informed, since all group members develop a shared understanding of a problem through discussion and debate. The shared understanding may also be more complex and deep than what an individual would develop, because the group members are exposed to a variety of viewpoints that can broaden their own perspectives. Group decisions also benefit from synergy, one of the key advantages of group communication that we discussed earlier. Most groups do not use a specific method of decision making, perhaps thinking that they’ll work things out as they go. This can lead to unequal participation, social loafing, premature decisions, prolonged discussion, and a host of other negative consequences. So in this section we will learn some practices that will prepare us for good decision making and some specific techniques we can use to help us reach a final decision.

Brainstorming before Decision Making

Before groups can make a decision, they need to generate possible solutions to their problem. The most commonly used method is brainstorming, although most people don’t follow the recommended steps of brainstorming. As you’ll recall, brainstorming refers to the quick generation of ideas free of evaluation. The originator of the term brainstorming said the following four rules must be followed for the technique to be effective (Osborn, 1959):

• Evaluation of ideas is forbidden.
• Wild and crazy ideas are encouraged.
• Quantity of ideas, not quality, is the goal.
• New combinations of ideas presented are encouraged.

To make brainstorming more of a decision-making method rather than an idea-generating method, group communication scholars have suggested additional steps that precede and follow brainstorming (Cragan & Wright, 1991).

• Do a warm-up brainstorming session. Some people are more apprehensive about publicly communicating their ideas than others are, and a warm-up session can help ease apprehension and prime group members for task-related idea generation. The warm-up can be initiated by anyone in the group and should only go on for a few minutes. To get things started, a person could ask, “If our group formed a band, what would we be called?” or “What other purposes could a mailbox serve?” In the previous examples, the first warm up gets the group’s more abstract creative juices flowing, while the second focuses more on practical and concrete ideas.
• Do the actual brainstorming session. This session shouldn’t last more than thirty minutes and should follow the four rules of brainstorming mentioned previously. To ensure that the fourth rule is realized, the facilitator could encourage people to piggyback off each other’s ideas.
• Eliminate duplicate ideas. After the brainstorming session is over, group members can eliminate (without evaluating) ideas that are the same or very similar.
• Clarify, organize, and evaluate ideas. Before evaluation, see if any ideas need clarification. Then try to theme or group ideas together in some orderly fashion. Since “wild and crazy” ideas are encouraged, some suggestions may need clarification. If it becomes clear that there isn’t really a foundation to an idea and that it is too vague or abstract and can’t be clarified, it may be eliminated. As a caution though, it may be wise to not throw out off-the-wall ideas that are hard to categorize and to instead put them in a miscellaneous or “wild and crazy” category.

Discussion before Decision Making

The nominal group technique guides decision making through a four-step process that includes idea generation and evaluation and seeks to elicit equal contributions from all group members (Delbecq & Ven de Ven, 1971). This method is useful because the procedure involves all group members systematically, which fixes the problem of uneven participation during discussions. Since everyone contributes to the discussion, this method can also help reduce instances of social loafing. To use the nominal group technique, do the following:

• Silently and individually list ideas.
• Create a master list of ideas.
• Clarify ideas as needed.
• Take a secret vote to rank group members’ acceptance of ideas.

During the first step, have group members work quietly, in the same space, to write down every idea they have to address the task or problem they face. This shouldn’t take more than twenty minutes. Whoever is facilitating the discussion should remind group members to use brainstorming techniques, which means they shouldn’t evaluate ideas as they are generated. Ask group members to remain silent once they’ve finished their list so they do not distract others.

During the second step, the facilitator goes around the group in a consistent order asking each person to share one idea at a time. As the idea is shared, the facilitator records it on a master list that everyone can see. Keep track of how many times each idea comes up, as that could be an idea that warrants more discussion. Continue this process until all the ideas have been shared. As a note to facilitators, some group members may begin to edit their list or self-censor when asked to provide one of their ideas. To limit a person’s apprehension with sharing his or her ideas and to ensure that each idea is shared, I have asked group members to exchange lists with someone else so they can share ideas from the list they receive without fear of being personally judged.

During step three, the facilitator should note that group members can now ask for clarification on ideas on the master list. Do not let this discussion stray into evaluation of ideas. To help avoid an unnecessarily long discussion, it may be useful to go from one person to the next to ask which ideas need clarifying and then go to the originator(s) of the idea in question for clarification.

During the fourth step, members use a voting ballot to rank the acceptability of the ideas on the master list. If the list is long, you may ask group members to rank only their top five or so choices. The facilitator then takes up the secret ballots and reviews them in a random order, noting the rankings of each idea. Ideally, the highest ranked idea can then be discussed and decided on. The nominal group technique does not carry a group all the way through to the point of decision; rather, it sets the group up for a roundtable discussion or use of some other method to evaluate the merits of the top ideas.

Specific Decision-Making Techniques

Some decision-making techniques involve determining a course of action based on the level of agreement among the group members. These methods include majority, expert, authority, and consensus rule. Table 14.1 “Pros and Cons of Agreement-Based Decision-Making Techniques” reviews the pros and cons of each of these methods.

Majority rule is a simple method of decision making based on voting. In most cases a majority is considered half plus one.

Becky McCray – Voting – CC BY-NC-ND 2.0.

Majority rule is a commonly used decision-making technique in which a majority (one-half plus one) must agree before a decision is made. A show-of-hands vote, a paper ballot, or an electronic voting system can determine the majority choice. Many decision-making bodies, including the US House of Representatives, Senate, and Supreme Court, use majority rule to make decisions, which shows that it is often associated with democratic decision making, since each person gets one vote and each vote counts equally. Of course, other individuals and mediated messages can influence a person’s vote, but since the voting power is spread out over all group members, it is not easy for one person or party to take control of the decision-making process. In some cases—for example, to override a presidential veto or to amend the constitution—a super majority of two-thirds may be required to make a decision.

Minority rule is a decision-making technique in which a designated authority or expert has final say over a decision and may or may not consider the input of other group members. When a designated expert makes a decision by minority rule, there may be buy-in from others in the group, especially if the members of the group didn’t have relevant knowledge or expertise. When a designated authority makes decisions, buy-in will vary based on group members’ level of respect for the authority. For example, decisions made by an elected authority may be more accepted by those who elected him or her than by those who didn’t. As with majority rule, this technique can be time saving. Unlike majority rule, one person or party can have control over the decision-making process. This type of decision making is more similar to that used by monarchs and dictators. An obvious negative consequence of this method is that the needs or wants of one person can override the needs and wants of the majority. A minority deciding for the majority has led to negative consequences throughout history. The white Afrikaner minority that ruled South Africa for decades instituted apartheid, which was a system of racial segregation that disenfranchised and oppressed the majority population. The quality of the decision and its fairness really depends on the designated expert or authority.

Consensus rule is a decision-making technique in which all members of the group must agree on the same decision. On rare occasions, a decision may be ideal for all group members, which can lead to unanimous agreement without further debate and discussion. Although this can be positive, be cautious that this isn’t a sign of groupthink. More typically, consensus is reached only after lengthy discussion. On the plus side, consensus often leads to high-quality decisions due to the time and effort it takes to get everyone in agreement. Group members are also more likely to be committed to the decision because of their investment in reaching it. On the negative side, the ultimate decision is often one that all group members can live with but not one that’s ideal for all members. Additionally, the process of arriving at consensus also includes conflict, as people debate ideas and negotiate the interpersonal tensions that may result.

Table 14.1 Pros and Cons of Agreement-Based Decision-Making Techniques

“Getting Critical”

Six Hats Method of Decision Making

Edward de Bono developed the Six Hats method of thinking in the late 1980s, and it has since become a regular feature in decision-making training in business and professional contexts (de Bono, 1985). The method’s popularity lies in its ability to help people get out of habitual ways of thinking and to allow group members to play different roles and see a problem or decision from multiple points of view. The basic idea is that each of the six hats represents a different way of thinking, and when we figuratively switch hats, we switch the way we think. The hats and their style of thinking are as follows:

• White hat. Objective—focuses on seeking information such as data and facts and then processes that information in a neutral way.
• Red hat. Emotional—uses intuition, gut reactions, and feelings to judge information and suggestions.
• Black hat. Negative—focuses on potential risks, points out possibilities for failure, and evaluates information cautiously and defensively.
• Yellow hat. Positive—is optimistic about suggestions and future outcomes, gives constructive and positive feedback, points out benefits and advantages.
• Green hat. Creative—tries to generate new ideas and solutions, thinks “outside the box.”
• Blue hat. Philosophical—uses metacommunication to organize and reflect on the thinking and communication taking place in the group, facilitates who wears what hat and when group members change hats.

Specific sequences or combinations of hats can be used to encourage strategic thinking. For example, the group leader may start off wearing the Blue Hat and suggest that the group start their decision-making process with some “White Hat thinking” in order to process through facts and other available information. During this stage, the group could also process through what other groups have done when faced with a similar problem. Then the leader could begin an evaluation sequence starting with two minutes of “Yellow Hat thinking” to identify potential positive outcomes, then “Black Hat thinking” to allow group members to express reservations about ideas and point out potential problems, then “Red Hat thinking” to get people’s gut reactions to the previous discussion, then “Green Hat thinking” to identify other possible solutions that are more tailored to the group’s situation or completely new approaches. At the end of a sequence, the Blue Hat would want to summarize what was said and begin a new sequence. To successfully use this method, the person wearing the Blue Hat should be familiar with different sequences and plan some of the thinking patterns ahead of time based on the problem and the group members. Each round of thinking should be limited to a certain time frame (two to five minutes) to keep the discussion moving.

• This decision-making method has been praised because it allows group members to “switch gears” in their thinking and allows for role playing, which lets people express ideas more freely. How can this help enhance critical thinking? Which combination of hats do you think would be best for a critical thinking sequence?
• What combinations of hats might be useful if the leader wanted to break the larger group up into pairs and why? For example, what kind of thinking would result from putting Yellow and Red together, Black and White together, or Red and White together, and so on?
• Based on your preferred ways of thinking and your personality, which hat would be the best fit for you? Which would be the most challenging? Why?

Influences on Decision Making

Many factors influence the decision-making process. For example, how might a group’s independence or access to resources affect the decisions they make? What potential advantages and disadvantages come with decisions made by groups that are more or less similar in terms of personality and cultural identities? In this section, we will explore how situational, personality, and cultural influences affect decision making in groups.

Situational Influences on Decision Making

A group’s situational context affects decision making. One key situational element is the degree of freedom that the group has to make its own decisions, secure its own resources, and initiate its own actions. Some groups have to go through multiple approval processes before they can do anything, while others are self-directed, self-governing, and self-sustaining. Another situational influence is uncertainty. In general, groups deal with more uncertainty in decision making than do individuals because of the increased number of variables that comes with adding more people to a situation. Individual group members can’t know what other group members are thinking, whether or not they are doing their work, and how committed they are to the group. So the size of a group is a powerful situational influence, as it adds to uncertainty and complicates communication.

Access to information also influences a group. First, the nature of the group’s task or problem affects its ability to get information. Group members can more easily make decisions about a problem when other groups have similarly experienced it. Even if the problem is complex and serious, the group can learn from other situations and apply what it learns. Second, the group must have access to flows of information. Access to archives, electronic databases, and individuals with relevant experience is necessary to obtain any relevant information about similar problems or to do research on a new or unique problem. In this regard, group members’ formal and information network connections also become important situational influences.

The urgency of a decision can have a major influence on the decision-making process. As a situation becomes more urgent, it requires more specific decision-making methods and types of communication.

Judith E. Bell – Urgent – CC BY-SA 2.0.

The origin and urgency of a problem are also situational factors that influence decision making. In terms of origin, problems usually occur in one of four ways:

• Something goes wrong. Group members must decide how to fix or stop something. Example—a firehouse crew finds out that half of the building is contaminated with mold and must be closed down.
• Expectations change or increase. Group members must innovate more efficient or effective ways of doing something. Example—a firehouse crew finds out that the district they are responsible for is being expanded.
• Something goes wrong and expectations change or increase. Group members must fix/stop and become more efficient/effective. Example—the firehouse crew has to close half the building and must start responding to more calls due to the expanding district.
• The problem existed from the beginning. Group members must go back to the origins of the situation and walk through and analyze the steps again to decide what can be done differently. Example—a firehouse crew has consistently had to work with minimal resources in terms of building space and firefighting tools.

In each of the cases, the need for a decision may be more or less urgent depending on how badly something is going wrong, how high the expectations have been raised, or the degree to which people are fed up with a broken system. Decisions must be made in situations ranging from crisis level to mundane.

Personality Influences on Decision Making

A long-studied typology of value orientations that affect decision making consists of the following types of decision maker: the economic, the aesthetic, the theoretical, the social, the political, and the religious (Spranger, 1928).

• The economic decision maker makes decisions based on what is practical and useful.
• The aesthetic decision maker makes decisions based on form and harmony, desiring a solution that is elegant and in sync with the surroundings.
• The theoretical decision maker wants to discover the truth through rationality.
• The social decision maker emphasizes the personal impact of a decision and sympathizes with those who may be affected by it.
• The political decision maker is interested in power and influence and views people and/or property as divided into groups that have different value.
• The religious decision maker seeks to identify with a larger purpose, works to unify others under that goal, and commits to a viewpoint, often denying one side and being dedicated to the other.

In the United States, economic, political, and theoretical decision making tend to be more prevalent decision-making orientations, which likely corresponds to the individualistic cultural orientation with its emphasis on competition and efficiency. But situational context, as we discussed before, can also influence our decision making.

Personality affects decision making. For example, “economic” decision makers decide based on what is practical and useful.

One Way Stock – Tough Decisions Ahead – CC BY-ND 2.0.

The personalities of group members, especially leaders and other active members, affect the climate of the group. Group member personalities can be categorized based on where they fall on a continuum anchored by the following descriptors: dominant/submissive, friendly/unfriendly, and instrumental/emotional (Cragan & Wright, 1999). The more group members there are in any extreme of these categories, the more likely that the group climate will also shift to resemble those characteristics.

• Dominant versus submissive. Group members that are more dominant act more independently and directly, initiate conversations, take up more space, make more direct eye contact, seek leadership positions, and take control over decision-making processes. More submissive members are reserved, contribute to the group only when asked to, avoid eye contact, and leave their personal needs and thoughts unvoiced or give into the suggestions of others.
• Friendly versus unfriendly. Group members on the friendly side of the continuum find a balance between talking and listening, don’t try to win at the expense of other group members, are flexible but not weak, and value democratic decision making. Unfriendly group members are disagreeable, indifferent, withdrawn, and selfish, which leads them to either not invest in decision making or direct it in their own interest rather than in the interest of the group.
• Instrumental versus emotional. Instrumental group members are emotionally neutral, objective, analytical, task-oriented, and committed followers, which leads them to work hard and contribute to the group’s decision making as long as it is orderly and follows agreed-on rules. Emotional group members are creative, playful, independent, unpredictable, and expressive, which leads them to make rash decisions, resist group norms or decision-making structures, and switch often from relational to task focus.

Cultural Context and Decision Making

Just like neighborhoods, schools, and countries, small groups vary in terms of their degree of similarity and difference. Demographic changes in the United States and increases in technology that can bring different people together make it more likely that we will be interacting in more and more heterogeneous groups (Allen, 2011). Some small groups are more homogenous, meaning the members are more similar, and some are more heterogeneous, meaning the members are more different. Diversity and difference within groups has advantages and disadvantages. In terms of advantages, research finds that, in general, groups that are culturally heterogeneous have better overall performance than more homogenous groups (Haslett & Ruebush, 1999). Additionally, when group members have time to get to know each other and competently communicate across their differences, the advantages of diversity include better decision making due to different perspectives (Thomas, 1999). Unfortunately, groups often operate under time constraints and other pressures that make the possibility for intercultural dialogue and understanding difficult. The main disadvantage of heterogeneous groups is the possibility for conflict, but given that all groups experience conflict, this isn’t solely due to the presence of diversity. We will now look more specifically at how some of the cultural value orientations we’ve learned about already in this book can play out in groups with international diversity and how domestic diversity in terms of demographics can also influence group decision making.

International Diversity in Group Interactions

Cultural value orientations such as individualism/collectivism, power distance, and high-/low-context communication styles all manifest on a continuum of communication behaviors and can influence group decision making. Group members from individualistic cultures are more likely to value task-oriented, efficient, and direct communication. This could manifest in behaviors such as dividing up tasks into individual projects before collaboration begins and then openly debating ideas during discussion and decision making. Additionally, people from cultures that value individualism are more likely to openly express dissent from a decision, essentially expressing their disagreement with the group. Group members from collectivistic cultures are more likely to value relationships over the task at hand. Because of this, they also tend to value conformity and face-saving (often indirect) communication. This could manifest in behaviors such as establishing norms that include periods of socializing to build relationships before task-oriented communication like negotiations begin or norms that limit public disagreement in favor of more indirect communication that doesn’t challenge the face of other group members or the group’s leader. In a group composed of people from a collectivistic culture, each member would likely play harmonizing roles, looking for signs of conflict and resolving them before they become public.

Power distance can also affect group interactions. Some cultures rank higher on power-distance scales, meaning they value hierarchy, make decisions based on status, and believe that people have a set place in society that is fairly unchangeable. Group members from high-power-distance cultures would likely appreciate a strong designated leader who exhibits a more directive leadership style and prefer groups in which members have clear and assigned roles. In a group that is homogenous in terms of having a high-power-distance orientation, members with higher status would be able to openly provide information, and those with lower status may not provide information unless a higher status member explicitly seeks it from them. Low-power-distance cultures do not place as much value and meaning on status and believe that all group members can participate in decision making. Group members from low-power-distance cultures would likely freely speak their mind during a group meeting and prefer a participative leadership style.

How much meaning is conveyed through the context surrounding verbal communication can also affect group communication. Some cultures have a high-context communication style in which much of the meaning in an interaction is conveyed through context such as nonverbal cues and silence. Group members from high-context cultures may avoid saying something directly, assuming that other group members will understand the intended meaning even if the message is indirect. So if someone disagrees with a proposed course of action, he or she may say, “Let’s discuss this tomorrow,” and mean, “I don’t think we should do this.” Such indirect communication is also a face-saving strategy that is common in collectivistic cultures. Other cultures have a low-context communication style that places more importance on the meaning conveyed through words than through context or nonverbal cues. Group members from low-context cultures often say what they mean and mean what they say. For example, if someone doesn’t like an idea, they might say, “I think we should consider more options. This one doesn’t seem like the best we can do.”

In any of these cases, an individual from one culture operating in a group with people of a different cultural orientation could adapt to the expectations of the host culture, especially if that person possesses a high degree of intercultural communication competence (ICC). Additionally, people with high ICC can also adapt to a group member with a different cultural orientation than the host culture. Even though these cultural orientations connect to values that affect our communication in fairly consistent ways, individuals may exhibit different communication behaviors depending on their own individual communication style and the situation.

Domestic Diversity and Group Communication

While it is becoming more likely that we will interact in small groups with international diversity, we are guaranteed to interact in groups that are diverse in terms of the cultural identities found within a single country or the subcultures found within a larger cultural group.

Gender stereotypes sometimes influence the roles that people play within a group. For example, the stereotype that women are more nurturing than men may lead group members (both male and female) to expect that women will play the role of supporters or harmonizers within the group. Since women have primarily performed secretarial work since the 1900s, it may also be expected that women will play the role of recorder. In both of these cases, stereotypical notions of gender place women in roles that are typically not as valued in group communication. The opposite is true for men. In terms of leadership, despite notable exceptions, research shows that men fill an overwhelmingly disproportionate amount of leadership positions. We are socialized to see certain behaviors by men as indicative of leadership abilities, even though they may not be. For example, men are often perceived to contribute more to a group because they tend to speak first when asked a question or to fill a silence and are perceived to talk more about task-related matters than relationally oriented matters. Both of these tendencies create a perception that men are more engaged with the task. Men are also socialized to be more competitive and self-congratulatory, meaning that their communication may be seen as dedicated and their behaviors seen as powerful, and that when their work isn’t noticed they will be more likely to make it known to the group rather than take silent credit. Even though we know that the relational elements of a group are crucial for success, even in high-performance teams, that work is not as valued in our society as the task-related work.

Despite the fact that some communication patterns and behaviors related to our typical (and stereotypical) gender socialization affect how we interact in and form perceptions of others in groups, the differences in group communication that used to be attributed to gender in early group communication research seem to be diminishing. This is likely due to the changing organizational cultures from which much group work emerges, which have now had more than sixty years to adjust to women in the workplace. It is also due to a more nuanced understanding of gender-based research, which doesn’t take a stereotypical view from the beginning as many of the early male researchers did. Now, instead of biological sex being assumed as a factor that creates inherent communication differences, group communication scholars see that men and women both exhibit a range of behaviors that are more or less feminine or masculine. It is these gendered behaviors, and not a person’s gender, that seem to have more of an influence on perceptions of group communication. Interestingly, group interactions are still masculinist in that male and female group members prefer a more masculine communication style for task leaders and that both males and females in this role are more likely to adapt to a more masculine communication style. Conversely, men who take on social-emotional leadership behaviors adopt a more feminine communication style. In short, it seems that although masculine communication traits are more often associated with high status positions in groups, both men and women adapt to this expectation and are evaluated similarly (Haslett & Ruebush, 1999).

Other demographic categories are also influential in group communication and decision making. In general, group members have an easier time communicating when they are more similar than different in terms of race and age. This ease of communication can make group work more efficient, but the homogeneity may sacrifice some creativity. As we learned earlier, groups that are diverse (e.g., they have members of different races and generations) benefit from the diversity of perspectives in terms of the quality of decision making and creativity of output.

In terms of age, for the first time since industrialization began, it is common to have three generations of people (and sometimes four) working side by side in an organizational setting. Although four generations often worked together in early factories, they were segregated based on their age group, and a hierarchy existed with older workers at the top and younger workers at the bottom. Today, however, generations interact regularly, and it is not uncommon for an older person to have a leader or supervisor who is younger than him or her (Allen, 2011). The current generations in the US workplace and consequently in work-based groups include the following:

• The Silent Generation. Born between 1925 and 1942, currently in their midsixties to mideighties, this is the smallest generation in the workforce right now, as many have retired or left for other reasons. This generation includes people who were born during the Great Depression or the early part of World War II, many of whom later fought in the Korean War (Clarke, 1970).
• The Baby Boomers. Born between 1946 and 1964, currently in their late forties to midsixties, this is the largest generation in the workforce right now. Baby boomers are the most populous generation born in US history, and they are working longer than previous generations, which means they will remain the predominant force in organizations for ten to twenty more years.
• Generation X. Born between 1965 and 1981, currently in their early thirties to midforties, this generation was the first to see technology like cell phones and the Internet make its way into classrooms and our daily lives. Compared to previous generations, “Gen-Xers” are more diverse in terms of race, religious beliefs, and sexual orientation and also have a greater appreciation for and understanding of diversity.
• Generation Y. Born between 1982 and 2000, “Millennials” as they are also called are currently in their late teens up to about thirty years old. This generation is not as likely to remember a time without technology such as computers and cell phones. They are just starting to enter into the workforce and have been greatly affected by the economic crisis of the late 2000s, experiencing significantly high unemployment rates.

The benefits and challenges that come with diversity of group members are important to consider. Since we will all work in diverse groups, we should be prepared to address potential challenges in order to reap the benefits. Diverse groups may be wise to coordinate social interactions outside of group time in order to find common ground that can help facilitate interaction and increase group cohesion. We should be sensitive but not let sensitivity create fear of “doing something wrong” that then prevents us from having meaningful interactions. Reviewing Chapter 8 “Culture and Communication” will give you useful knowledge to help you navigate both international and domestic diversity and increase your communication competence in small groups and elsewhere.

Key Takeaways

• Every problem has common components: an undesirable situation, a desired situation, and obstacles between the undesirable and desirable situations. Every problem also has a set of characteristics that vary among problems, including task difficulty, number of possible solutions, group member interest in the problem, group familiarity with the problem, and the need for solution acceptance.

The group problem-solving process has five steps:

• Define the problem by creating a problem statement that summarizes it.
• Analyze the problem and create a problem question that can guide solution generation.
• Generate possible solutions. Possible solutions should be offered and listed without stopping to evaluate each one.
• Evaluate the solutions based on their credibility, completeness, and worth. Groups should also assess the potential effects of the narrowed list of solutions.
• Implement and assess the solution. Aside from enacting the solution, groups should determine how they will know the solution is working or not.
• Before a group makes a decision, it should brainstorm possible solutions. Group communication scholars suggest that groups (1) do a warm-up brainstorming session; (2) do an actual brainstorming session in which ideas are not evaluated, wild ideas are encouraged, quantity not quality of ideas is the goal, and new combinations of ideas are encouraged; (3) eliminate duplicate ideas; and (4) clarify, organize, and evaluate ideas. In order to guide the idea-generation process and invite equal participation from group members, the group may also elect to use the nominal group technique.
• Common decision-making techniques include majority rule, minority rule, and consensus rule. With majority rule, only a majority, usually one-half plus one, must agree before a decision is made. With minority rule, a designated authority or expert has final say over a decision, and the input of group members may or may not be invited or considered. With consensus rule, all members of the group must agree on the same decision.

Several factors influence the decision-making process:

• Situational factors include the degree of freedom a group has to make its own decisions, the level of uncertainty facing the group and its task, the size of the group, the group’s access to information, and the origin and urgency of the problem.
• Personality influences on decision making include a person’s value orientation (economic, aesthetic, theoretical, political, or religious), and personality traits (dominant/submissive, friendly/unfriendly, and instrumental/emotional).
• Cultural influences on decision making include the heterogeneity or homogeneity of the group makeup; cultural values and characteristics such as individualism/collectivism, power distance, and high-/low-context communication styles; and gender and age differences.
• Scenario 1. Task difficulty is high, number of possible solutions is high, group interest in problem is high, group familiarity with problem is low, and need for solution acceptance is high.
• Scenario 2. Task difficulty is low, number of possible solutions is low, group interest in problem is low, group familiarity with problem is high, and need for solution acceptance is low.
• Scenario 1: Academic. A professor asks his or her class to decide whether the final exam should be an in-class or take-home exam.
• Scenario 2: Professional. A group of coworkers must decide which person from their department to nominate for a company-wide award.
• Scenario 3: Personal. A family needs to decide how to divide the belongings and estate of a deceased family member who did not leave a will.
• Scenario 4: Civic. A local branch of a political party needs to decide what five key issues it wants to include in the national party’s platform.
• Group communication researchers have found that heterogeneous groups (composed of diverse members) have advantages over homogenous (more similar) groups. Discuss a group situation you have been in where diversity enhanced your and/or the group’s experience.

Adams, K., and Gloria G. Galanes, Communicating in Groups: Applications and Skills , 7th ed. (Boston, MA: McGraw-Hill, 2009), 220–21.

Allen, B. J., Difference Matters: Communicating Social Identity , 2nd ed. (Long Grove, IL: Waveland, 2011), 5.

Bormann, E. G., and Nancy C. Bormann, Effective Small Group Communication , 4th ed. (Santa Rosa, CA: Burgess CA, 1988), 112–13.

Clarke, G., “The Silent Generation Revisited,” Time, June 29, 1970, 46.

Cragan, J. F., and David W. Wright, Communication in Small Group Discussions: An Integrated Approach , 3rd ed. (St. Paul, MN: West Publishing, 1991), 77–78.

de Bono, E., Six Thinking Hats (Boston, MA: Little, Brown, 1985).

Delbecq, A. L., and Andrew H. Ven de Ven, “A Group Process Model for Problem Identification and Program Planning,” The Journal of Applied Behavioral Science 7, no. 4 (1971): 466–92.

Haslett, B. B., and Jenn Ruebush, “What Differences Do Individual Differences in Groups Make?: The Effects of Individuals, Culture, and Group Composition,” in The Handbook of Group Communication Theory and Research , ed. Lawrence R. Frey (Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage, 1999), 133.

Napier, R. W., and Matti K. Gershenfeld, Groups: Theory and Experience , 7th ed. (Boston, MA: Houghton Mifflin, 2004), 292.

Osborn, A. F., Applied Imagination (New York: Charles Scribner’s Sons, 1959).

Spranger, E., Types of Men (New York: Steckert, 1928).

Stanton, C., “How to Deliver Group Presentations: The Unified Team Approach,” Six Minutes Speaking and Presentation Skills , November 3, 2009, accessed August 28, 2012, http://sixminutes.dlugan.com/group-presentations-unified-team-approach .

Thomas, D. C., “Cultural Diversity and Work Group Effectiveness: An Experimental Study,” Journal of Cross-Cultural Psychology 30, no. 2 (1999): 242–63.

Communication in the Real World Copyright © 2016 by University of Minnesota is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 4.0 International License , except where otherwise noted.

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Improving Problem Solving Skills

Introduction

Problem-solving skills are an important part of our lives. Be it a mundane daily activity or at work, most of the time our work is centred around problems and how to solve them. In a managerial set up, most of the work is problem-centric. Be it solving a problem for a client, supporting someone who is solving a problem or searching for new problems to be solved, problems define our activities. Problem-solving skills are, thus, important in the workplace.

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Skills for Problem Solving

Different problems require different set of skills to be solved. For example, solving a problem for a client requires not just knowledge but also good verbal, listening and persuasion skills. Solving a problem within the organization with other employees require teamwork, coordination and effective communication among them. Hence, to improve problem-solving skills there needs to be effective communication and understanding of the situation.

Efficient Methods of Problem Solving

Problem-solving skills can be improved in many ways. There are four basic steps to efficient problem solving in any situation. They are:

• Defining and understanding the problem
• Searching for alternatives
• Evaluating and selecting alternatives
• Executing the solution

Defining and understanding the problem is the first step to problem-solving. It is important to look deeper into the problem beyond what might seem like the obvious.

For example :  The substandard performance of the employees might be seen as a result of laziness or an unwillingness to work and improve oneself. However, the real reason could be that the employees are untrained and unskilled at their jobs. Understanding the roots of the problem makes way for efficient search for solutions.

Now that the core of the problem has been identified, we need to search for alternative solutions to fix the problem. The aim is to find the most efficient and rational solution that is agreeable to all the parties involved.

Thus, if there is a difference in opinion regarding the implementation of a certain standard or protocol, the manager can either take a survey to understand the opinions of the employees or call a meeting to discuss and, if necessary, bring changes to the proposal.

Once all the alternatives are considered, we need to evaluate each and every single alternative so that we can come to a conclusion by selecting the most rational solution. Selecting the solution also requires the opinion of the employees and staff, what they consider to be the best option and how the executives in higher positions would react to it.

For example : Choosing between cheaper alternatives or low production due to a reduced budget depends on the situation of the firm. The cheaper alternatives for production will ensure the same number of units are produced, albeit low quality and hence, lower prices. Reduction in production, however, will ensure that the quality is good and the price of the product will be maintained or even raised.

Executing the solution requires the leadership of the manager and good and efficient coordination and communication with all the employees and entities. The problem will be directly handled at this stage and efforts will be made to change it.

For example : If the decision to use cheaper alternatives for production is made, then changes are made in the manner of production, networks are set up to get access to the cheaper alternative, bargaining and networking is made etc.

Thus, improving problem-solving skills require a basic knowledge of the situation as well as having the creativity and resources to solve it.

Related Posts:

• Interpersonal Communication Skills in Workplace
• Self-Disclosure On Social Media
• Types Of Thinking-Tips And Tricks To Improve Thinking Skill
• How to Overcome Cross Cultural Communication Barriers
• Manager Communication Skills
• Decision Making Process, Models, Biases And Errors-Explained

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8 Essential Leadership Communication Skills

• 14 Nov 2019

If you want to be an effective leader , you need to excel in communication. In fact, the success of your business relies on it.

According to a report from the Economist Intelligence Unit (pdf) , poor communication can lead to low morale, missed performance goals, and even lost sales. A separate study found that inadequate communication can cost large companies an average of $64.2 million per year, while smaller organizations are at risk of losing $420,000 annually.

But effective communication impacts more than just the bottom line. For leaders, it’s what enables them to rally their team around a shared vision, empower employees , build trust, and successfully navigate organizational change .

Why Is Communication Important in Leadership?

A leader is someone who inspires positive, incremental change by empowering those around them to work toward common objectives. A leader’s most powerful tool for doing so is communication.

Effective communication is vital to gain trust, align efforts in the pursuit of goals, and inspire positive change. When communication is lacking, important information can be misinterpreted, causing relationships to suffer and, ultimately, creating barriers that hinder progress.

If you’re interested in enhancing your leadership capabilities, here are eight communication skills you need to be more effective in your role.

Essential Communication Skills for Leaders

1. ability to adapt your communication style.

Different communication styles are the most frequently cited cause of poor communication, according to the Economist Intelligence Unit (pdf) , and can lead to more significant issues, such as unclear priorities and increased stress.

It’s essential to identify your leadership style , so that you can better understand how you’re interacting with, and perceived by, employees across the organization. For example, if you’re an authoritative leader , you likely have a clear vision for achieving success and align your team accordingly. While an effective approach for some, it might fall flat for others who seek more autonomy in their role.

Every employee’s motivations are different, so knowing how to tailor your communication is essential to influencing others and reaching organizational goals.

Related: 4 Tips for Developing Your Personal Leadership Style

2. Active Listening

Effective leaders know when they need to talk and, more importantly, when they need to listen. Show that you care by asking for employees’ opinions, ideas, and feedback. And when they do share, actively engage in the conversation—pose questions, invite them to elaborate, and take notes.

It’s important to stay in the moment and avoid interrupting. Keep your focus on the employee and what it is they’re saying. To achieve that, you also need to eliminate any distractions, including constant pings on your cell phone or checking incoming emails.

3. Transparency

In a survey by the American Management Association , more than a third of senior managers, executives, and employees said they “hardly ever” know what’s going on in their organizations. Transparency can go a long way in breaking down that communication barrier.

By speaking openly about the company’s goals, opportunities, and challenges, leaders can build trust amongst their team and foster an environment where employees feel empowered to share their ideas and collaborate. Just acknowledging mistakes can encourage experimentation and create a safe space for active problem-solving.

Every individual should understand the role they play in the company’s success. The more transparent leaders are, the easier it is for employees to make that connection.

When communicating with employees, speak in specifics. Define the desired result of a project or strategic initiative and be clear about what you want to see achieved by the end of each milestone. If goals aren’t being met, try simplifying your message further or ask how you can provide additional clarity or help.

The more clear you are, the less confusion there will be around priorities. Employees will know what they’re working toward and feel more engaged in the process.

5. Ability to Ask Open-Ended Questions

If you want to understand employees’ motivations, thoughts, and goals better, practice asking open-ended questions. Jennifer Currence, president of consulting firm The Currence Group, said to the Society of Human Resource Management to use the acronym TED, which stands for:

• “ T ell me more.”
• “ E xplain what you mean.”
• “ D efine that term or concept for me.”

By leveraging those phrases when speaking with your team, you can elicit more thoughtful, thorough responses and ensure you also have clarity around what they need from you to succeed.

There’s a reason empathy has been ranked the top leadership skill needed for success . The better you get at acknowledging and understanding employees’ feelings and experiences, the more heard and valued they’ll feel.

In a recent survey (pdf) , 96 percent of respondents said it was important for their employers to demonstrate empathy, yet 92 percent claimed it remains undervalued. If you want to improve your communication and build a stronger, more productive culture, practice responding with empathy.

Related: Emotional Intelligence Skills: What They Are & How to Develop Them

7. Open Body Language

Communication isn’t just what you say; it’s how you carry yourself. Ninety-three percent of communication’s impact comes from nonverbal cues, according to executive coach Darlene Price .

To ensure you’re conveying the right message, focus on your body language. If you’re trying to inspire someone, talking with clenched fists and a furrowed brow isn’t going to send the right message. Instead, make eye contact to establish interest and rapport and flash a genuine smile to convey warmth and trust.

8. Receiving and Implementing Feedback

Asking for feedback from your team can not only help you grow as a leader, but build trust among your colleagues. It’s critical, though, that you don’t just listen to the feedback. You also need to act on it.

If you continue to receive feedback from your team, but don’t implement any changes, they’re going to lose faith in your ability to follow through. It’s likely there will be comments you can’t immediately act on—be transparent about that. By letting your employees know they were heard and then apprising them of any progress you can, or do, make, they’ll feel as though you value their perspective and are serious about improving.

Related: How to Give Feedback Effectively

Improving Your Leadership Communication

Communication is at the core of effective leadership. If you want to influence and inspire your team, you need to practice empathy and transparency, and understand how others perceive you, through your verbal and non-verbal cues.

To improve your communication skills and become a better leader, begin by assessing your effectiveness so you can identify areas for improvement. Then, set goals and hold yourself accountable by creating a leadership development plan to guide and track your progress.

Do you want to enhance your leadership skills? Download our free leadership e-book and explore our online course Leadership Principles to discover how you can become a more effective leader and unleash the potential in yourself and others.

(This post was updated on June 16, 2020. It was originally published on November 14, 2019.)

About the Author

Want to create or adapt books like this? Learn more about how Pressbooks supports open publishing practices.

13 Conflict Resolution and Problem Solving

Chapter 13 Check-in:

• Identify Conflict Causes and Effects
• Explore Conflict Approaches Solutions
• Basic Problem Solving Strategy PDCA

Like all communication, good conflict management and resolution requires your time: listen, reflect, and consider all elements of a situation and the people involved.  It is not a simple process and there are some steps to help you navigate the process.  In the end, it is about the relationship.

Frequently considered a negative, conflict can actually be an opportunity for growth in relationship or work.  Your attitude towards the situation and person plays a role in any outcome.  Adam Grant, Professor of Psychology at The Wharton School at the University of Pennsylvania and Saul P. Steinberg Professor of Management, notes that “The absence of conflict is not harmony, it’s apathy.  If you are in a group where people never disagree, the only way that could ever really happen is if the people don’t care enough to speak their minds.” (Grant, February 2021).

However, it is easy to feel at a loss in an immediate conflict situation.  Here are some brief points to consider when faced with more than just a disagreement.

Conflict is emotional: it is much greater than a difference of opinions.  It is usually an expression of not being heard, seen, valued or respected.   It is based on a deeply person need and emotional response, based on perceptions which have identified a threat in any form.  If conflict is ignored, it can fester and result in such entrenched opinions and sides that resolution appears impossible (Segal et al, 2020).

The first step is to determine what the actual problem is as perceived by all parties.  The Conflict Tree analogy is especially useful if you respond well to visuals (O’Connor, 2020).  It is an excellent activity for a group or individual to clarify the effects (branches), core problems (trunk), and even causes of the issue (roots).

Once the actual problem is identified, you can move on to tackling a resolution together.

Approaches to Conflict

There are generally five styles for approaching conflict (Benoliel, 2017) and understanding what they are and what style you lean towards, identifies how you will move through the process.  These categories are determined by whether the focus is on the relationship or the end goal of a task/project.  While these may be more specific to workplace conflicts, they certainly identify personal conflict responses as well.

Collaboration is marked by a balanced focus on the relationship with others and meeting long-term objectives.  A Competition style is marked by individuals who are assertive and probably uncooperative who demonstrate that their priority is the outcome of the project more than the relationships.  Although few people enjoy conflict, the Avoidance style focuses on the the immediate unpleasantness and therefore avoids the issues.  This traditionally marks individuals who are unassertive and uncooperative largely because they assume it is safer to ignore than face an issue.  Sometimes there are individuals who will do anything to please others: this Accommodation approach results in self-sacrifice and is usually the route taken by those who care more about the relationship than the outcome.  Unfortunately, they are frequently taken advantage of in their efforts to please others.  Lastly, there are those who prefer the Compromise strategy. This may seem expedient in the attempt to resolve the problem by aiming for mutually acceptable terms and concessions, it does frequently leaves no one side satisfied even though it allows most to maintain an assertive and cooperative stance.

Strategies for Solutions

Sometimes those involved in conflict turn to an third person for assistance to resolve a conflict.  A mediator can listen to the perspectives of those in the dispute and focuses on helping each side hear the concerns and priorities of the other.  Working with the individuals in conflict, a mediator aims to help them create a solution acceptable to both sides.  Sometimes the third party is an Arbitrator whose role is to hear each side and provide a decision to resolve the dispute.  In some cases the conflict results in the even more formal process of a trial.

There are four key skills you need to approach conflict resolution with or without a third party involved (Segal et al, 2020; Fighting Fair, n.d.).

Conflict can be a very stressful experience and your Stress Management is an essential first step.  When we are stressed, we can’t think clearly, we can’t understand someone else’s thoughts or feelings, and it makes communication very difficult.  Use whatever method works best for you to manage your stress.

Once your stress is managed, it is easier to exert Control over your Emotions.  Recognize the emotions you are experiencing to assist in your processing the experience without having a purely emotional response.

With your stress and emotions recognized and managed, it makes it easier to recognize and pay attention to the feelings you and the other people express  and you can Identify Non-Verbal Communication.   Much is said without words and body language is a good indication of how the other person feels towards the situation.

Respect each other is standard for every communication situation and essential to remember if you are in a position of conflict.  Personal attacks, or drawing on personal knowledge, has no productive part in conflict resolution.

Many resources may explain the benefits of humour, but caution should be used.  Sometimes an emotional situation is not the best time for humour as you can unintentionally be seen to diminish the importance another person places on the experience.

Work together to identify the problem by taking the time to see it from multiple perspectives.  Be clear about the desired results and end goal.  Think about the relationships and long term impacts that any course of action may have on all parties.  It takes commitment to resolve a conflict.

Problem Solving

We covered Reflection and Feedback in Chapter 12 and these are essential steps for effective conflict resolution and problem solving. Even the Trial and Error process of problem solving relies on evaluating the success of an action before moving on to another attempt.

Many different approaches to problem solving exist though the basic core approach can be seen across geographic and language borders.  The PDCA approach – Plan, Do, Check, Act – provides the basic four steps process that can be expanded to suit any profession or experience (Plan, Do, Check, Act, 2021).

Problem solving starts with a clear identification of problem.  Then you need to clarify the desired end result.  The development of a plan can be as short or as long as necessary.  Once you have a plan, you have to implement it: Do.  Check is your opportunity to evaluate the success of your plan and make any amendments necessary.  Finally, Act: put your strategy into practice.  An important point to remember is that the reflection and evaluation should be an ongoing part of the solution you implement.

Chapter 13 Check-out:

• Explore Conflict Approaches and Solutions

Remember your last conflict with another person.  How was it resolved?  How would you like it to have been resolved?  What could you have done to implement that change in result?

How do you usually approach problem solving?  How successful has it been for you? 

What, if anything, would you like to change about how you’ve problem solved in the past?

Resources and References

Benoliel, B. (2017). Five styles of conflict resolution.  Walden University.  [Online]  https://www.waldenu.edu/news-and-events/walden-news/2017/0530-whats-your-conflict-management-style

Fighting Fair to Resolve Conflict. (n.d.).  Counselling and Mental Health Centre. University of Texas at Austin. [Online] https://cmhc.utexas.edu/fightingfair.html

Goleman, D. (April 2012). Daniel Goleman Introduces Emotional Intelligence .  Big Think. [Online] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y7m9eNoB3NU

Grant, A., (February 2021). The Easiest Person to Fool .  The Hidden Brain. NPR Podcast. [Online] https://hidden-brain.simplecast.com/episodes/the-easiest-person-to-fool-f1hbMrGr

Grant, A., (April 2021). The Science of Productive Conflict . TED Podcast. [Online] https://www.ted.com/podcasts/worklife/the-science-of-productive-conflict-transcript

O’Connor, T., (October 2020). 3 Simple Conflict Analysis Tools That Anyone Can Use. [Online] https://medium.com/p/c30689757a0d

Plan Do Check Act: A Simple Problem Solving Methodology. (2021).  Educational-Business-Articles.com [Online] https://www.educational-business-articles.com/plan-do-check-act/

Segal, J., Robinson, L., and Smith, M. (2020). Conflict Resolution Skills. Helpguide.org. [Online] https://www.helpguide.org/articles/relationships-communication/conflict-resolution-skills.htm

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Effective communication skills: resolving conflicts .

Even the happiest of relationships experience conflicts and problems (Markman, Stanley, Blumberg, Jenkins & Whiteley, 2004). If handled well, issues provide opportunities for personal and relationship growth. There are many skills that can help individuals seeking to resolve conflicts in a healthy way. One of the greatest skills that aids in conflict resolution is effective communication.

Common Conflicts

Issues, or conflicts, in relationships consist of any situation, event or experience that is of concern or importance to those involved. A variety of factors lead to conflict, some of which include topics such as money, children, and in-laws, personal issues such as selfesteem, values, expectations, or goals, or relational issues such as the amount of together time versus alone time, support versus control, affection, and communication (Miller & Miller, 1997). While there are seemingly endless reasons for conflicts, they generally surround the underlying needs of all humans including physical, intellectual, emotional, social, and spiritual (Miller & Miller, 1997; Townsend, 2010). Most importantly, how we approach and communicate about these issues often determines the outcome.

Conflicts in Communication

Most people know that in order to resolve conflicts, we need to communicate about the issue; but negative patterns of communication can often lead to greater frustration and escalation of conflict. Consider the following communication challenges:

Body Language/Tone of Voice

Communication is more than the words we choose to use. In fact, our body language and tone of voice often speak louder than our words. For example, shouting “I’m not angry” is not a very convincing message! When we give an incongruent message where our tone of voice and body language does not match our message, confusion and frustration often follow (Gottman & DeClaire, 2001). In order to overcome this communication challenge, we need to be aware of what messages our body language and tone of voice may be sending others. Speak calmly, give eye contact, smile when appropriate, and maintain an open and relaxed posture (Paterson, 2000).

Differences in Style

Each of us has a unique way of communicating, often based on our family experiences, culture, gender and many other factors (Markman et al., 2004; Miller & Miller, 1997). For example, we may tend to be more loud, outgoing, or emotional when compared to our partner. While there is no right or wrong style, our past experiences often lead to expectations that are not usually verbally communicated with others, which can cause tension and misunderstandings in relationships. For example, if we came from a large family that tended to shout in order to be heard, we may think that speaking loudly is normal. But if our partner came from a calmer family environment, he/she may be uncomfortable or even frightened by a raised voice (Markman et al., 2004).

Discussing our backgrounds and perceptions can help to clarify expectations to ourselves and others and can also help our partner to understand our point of view. Knowing this information can often help in the problem solving process.

Communication Roadblocks

Communication roadblocks occur when two people talk in such a way that neither one feels understood. Research has found four particularly negative styles of communication, often referred to as the “four horsemen of the apocalypse,” (Gottman, 1999, p.27) because if left unchecked, these styles of interaction can eventually become lethal to relationships. These styles are criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling (Gottman, 1999).

• Criticism attacks the character or personality of another. While it is normal to have complaints about another’s specific actions, it is very different to put them down as a person because of those actions. For example, a complaint might be, “I felt worried when you did not call to tell me that you were going to be home late.” A criticism in the same situation would be expressed as “You are so inconsiderate, you never call me when you are going to be late.” Critiques focus on certain behaviors; criticism negatively focuses on the person’s intentions and character.
• Contempt portrays disgust and a lack of respect for the other person through body language, such as eye rolling or sneering, or by name calling, sarcasm and cutting remarks.
• Defensiveness is a seemingly understandable reaction that individuals take to criticism and contempt; however, it often escalates the conflict. When we are defensive, we tend to stop listening to the other’s viewpoint and communication is shut down.
• Stonewalling is withdrawing from communication and refusing to engage in discussion. In other words, it is the adult version of the “silent treatment” that young children utilize when they are upset. Conflict resolution is impossible without communication!

Some additional examples of communication roadblocks include (Miller & Miller, 1997):

• Ordering (“Stop complaining!”)
• Warning (“If you do that, you’ll be sorry.”)
• Preaching (“You shouldn’t act like that.”)
• Advising (“Just wait a couple of years before deciding.”)
• Lecturing (“If you do this now, you won’t grow up to be a responsible adult.”)
• Agreeing, just to keep the peace (“I think you’re right.”)
• Ridiculing (“OK, little baby.”)
• Interpreting (“You don’t really believe that.”)
• Sympathizing (“Don’t worry, it’ll all work out.”)
• Questioning (“Who put that idea into your head?”)
• Diverting (“Let’s talk about something more pleasant.”)

Communication roadblocks are very common; however, they do not promote healthy conflict resolution and often lead to escalation of the conflict. Recognizing these roadblocks and making efforts to effectively communicate can help individuals overcome roadblocks.

Tips to Resolve Conflict

Soften the startup.

One of the skills to overcome communication roadblocks includes a soft startup to the conversation by starting with something positive, expressing appreciation, focusing on problems one at a time and taking responsibility for thoughts and feelings (Gottman, 1999; Gottman & Declaire, 2001; Patterson, 2000). In addition, when expressing the problem, starting the message with “I” instead of “You” can decrease defensiveness and promote positive interactions with others (Darrington & Brower, 2012). For example, “I want to stay more involved in making decisions about money” rather than “You never include me in financial decisions.”

Make and Receive Repair Attempts.

Another important skill in overcoming communication roadblocks is learning to make and receive repair attempts (Gottman, 1999). Repair attempts are efforts to keep an increasingly negative interaction from going any further by taking a break or making efforts to calm the situation. This is important because when conflicts arise, we often experience intense emotional and physical stress that can impact our ability to think and reason, which can lead to communication roadblocks (Gottman & DeClaire, 2001). Taking time away from the conflict (at least 20 minutes) to calm down can help us be more prepared to discuss the issue (Gottman, 1999; Gottman & DeClaire, 2001; Markman et al, 2004).

Effective Speaking and Listening Skills

Overcoming communication roadblocks requires effective speaking and listening skills. Markman, Stanley and Blumberg (2010) share what they call the “speaker-listener” technique to help individuals more effectively communicate. Each partner takes turns being the speaker and the listener.    

The rules for the speaker include (Markman et al., 2004; Markman, Stanley & Blumberg, 2010):

• The speaker should share his/her own thoughts, feelings and concerns—not what he/she thinks the listener’s concerns are.
• Use “I” statements when speaking to accurately express thoughts and feelings.
• Keep statements short, to ensure the listener does not get overwhelmed with information.
• Stop after each short statement so that the listener can paraphrase, or repeat back in his/her own words, what was said to ensure he/she understands. If the paraphrase is not quite right, gently rephrase the statement again to help the listener understand.

The rules for the listener include:

• Paraphrase what the speaker is saying. If unclear, ask for clarification. Continue until the speaker indicates the message was received correctly.
• Don’t argue or give opinion about what the speaker says—wait to do this until you are the speaker, and then do so in a respectful manner.
• While the speaker is talking, the listener should not talk or interrupt except to paraphrase after the speaker.

The speaker and listener should take turns in each role so that each has a chance to express his/her thoughts and feelings. Either can call for a time out at any time. The goal of this activity is not to solve a particular problem, but rather to have a safe and meaningful discussion and to understand each other’s point of view. While we may not always agree with the other’s point of view, understanding and validating other’s thoughts and feelings can improve relationships and help us build on common ground, which may lead to more effective negotiation and problem resolution (Gottman, 1999).

Dealing with conflict can take varying amounts of mental, emotional, and physical energy (Miller & Miller, 1997). It can be work! However, learning and implementing a few simple communication skills can increase positive interactions with others. The opportunities for personal and relationship growth are well worth the effort.

For more information or for classes and workshops:

• Go to http://strongermarriage.org for tips, articles, and to find relationship education classes near you.
• Check out your local Extension office for relationship education classes and events. 
• Darrington, J., & Brower, N. (2012). Effective communication skills: “I” messages and beyond. Utah State University Extension. https://extension.usu.edu/htm/publications/publi cation=14541
• Gottman, J. M., & DeClaire, J. (2001). The relationship cure: A 5 step guide to strengthening your marriage, family, and friendships. New York, NY: Three Rivers Press.
• Gottman, J. M., & Silver, N. (1999). The seven principles for making marriage work. New York, NY: Three Rivers Press.
• Markman, H. J., Stanley, S. M., & Blumberg, S. L. (2010). Fighting for your marriage. San Francisco: Jossey Bass.
• Markman, H. J, Stanley, S. M., Blumberg, S. L., Jenkins, N. H., & Whiteley, C. (2004). 12 hours to a great marriage: A step-by-step guide for making love last. San Francisco: Jossey Bass.
• Miller, S., & Miller, P. A. (1997). Core communication: Skills and processes. Evergreen, Co: Interpersonal Communication Programs, Inc.
• Paterson, R. J. (2000). The assertiveness workbook: How to express your ideas and stand up for yourself at work and in relationships. Oakland, CA: New Harbinger, Inc.
• Townsend, M. (2010). Starved stuff: Feeding the 7 basic needs of healthy relationships. Townsend Relationship Center.

Naomi Brower,  MFHD, CFLE, Extension Assistant Professor; Jana Darrington,  MS, Extension Assistant Professor

Naomi Brower

Extension Professor | Couple and Family Relationships | Weber County Director

Home and Community Department

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When I studied algorithms and data structures in school, one of the first things I learned was that different types of problems were best suited to be solved by different types of approaches. It might sound obvious, but a huge part of being an effective programmer is developing an intuition for which types of problems are solved best by which types of solutions.

Take sorting a list of numbers, for example. A “brute force” approach, like Bubble Sort , might work but is really inefficient. Instead, a ” divide and conquer ” approach like Merge Sort gives way better performance.

This is actually an illustrative example. Lots of software problems are actually quite similar to sorting numbers, and the result is that programmers reach for a “divide and conquer” solution a lot. Think about how teams often take a complex task and break it into smaller pieces, so that they can be worked on efficiently; this is divide and conquer. I think that how common this approach is might say something about programmers, but that’s beside the point. We’re not here to talk about divide and conquer as a problem solving technique, we’re here to talk about communication as a problem solving technique.

Communicating as a way to solve problems is one of the most effective and rewarding techniques I’ve found so far in my career. I don’t think I would have believed this five years ago, but I was solving different problems back then. I was interested in the best way to code things. Nowadays, I’m interested in building the best team to build things.

Let’s walk through a recent example of using communication-as-problem-solving from my job, and then I’ll go into more detail about my technique.

So the example. My team is developing a new feature. We were about halfway done when the marketing team asked the Product Manager for a change, who then asked me to plan for it. I didn’t think the change was a good idea. So there’s our problem: we disagreed about the feature we should be building. My solution: communicate. I didn’t even schedule a meeting, we just jumped on a quick 5-minute call with the PM and designer (right after I took a deep breath).

First I started the discussion by restating what this feature was for: its purpose and its goals. Then I asked the PM for context until I understood both the their perspective and the marketing team’s goals. Next, I asked the designer for their thoughts. I repeated back what I had heard to make sure I really did understand the context, and then I offered my own thoughts. Finally, I recentred the discussion on the feature’s goals. What would be best for the user? I wasn’t sure what the answer would be, but by asking thoughtful questions and keeping an open mind, we all arrived at our solution: we would keep the original design.

So what happened here? Well the problem was that we had to make a decision. I could have pushed back against the proposed change because I thought it was a bad idea, or because work on this feature was already in-progress, or some other reason. But instead, I took a deep breath.

The problem was that we disagreed about the best path forward. The solution was open-minded, non-judgemental communication. It’s really important that you understand that I might not have “gotten my way” here, and that had to be okay. Getting my way wasn’t my goal; my goal was making the best decision, as a team.

Here is my approach to communication-as-problem-solving:

• Keep an open mind. Truly open, staying non-judgemental. People with different perspectives will disagree. That’s okay. In the example above, I accepted upfront that I might not get what I wanted.
• Start from a shared perspective. Whatever the disagreement is, find a place where everyone can agree. In the example above, I started the discussion by stating the goal of the feature we were building, and moved the conversation forward from there.
• Do inquiry work . Actively listen, and verify your understanding. In the example above, I played back my understanding of the other perspectives. This not only makes sure I understand, but it demonstrates to everyone else that I care about what they’re thinking.
• Prioritize your relationships. Your goal has to include maintaining your relationships with the other people in the conversation. In the example above, I could have pushed hard for what I wanted at the expense of damaging my relationship with my team’s Product Manager. In the long term, that’s counterproductive; building up my relationships with colleagues is always a priority for me.
• Maintain self-respect. This is the counterpoint of prioritizing your relationships. You need to respect yourself and respectfully assert your own perspective, too. In the example above, I maintained self-respect by offering my own perspective and proposing the decision that I thought would result in the best user experience.

Communicating as a way to solve problems works well for solving “disagreement” problems. It doesn’t work for every problem. Just like “divide and conquer” approaches are sometimes a bad solution, communication as a problem solving technique won’t always work (or work the most efficiently).

This technique also requires that you start from a place of shared understanding, which is sometimes the hardest part of using it. If you don’t share common ground, or you can’t find it, it will be difficult to communicate through your disagreement to find a solution.

I’ve been thinking more and more about communication as a way to solve problems. Maybe I’m getting older, or that it’s the time I’ve spent as a tech lead, or maybe it’s because I’m writing less code and more emails. But I really think there is something to thinking of communication as a way to solve a problem. It doesn’t always work, but it often works for me.

49 Communication Activities, Exercises & Games

Read on to learn about how important communication is in a relationship and how you can work on improving your communication skills.

Before you continue, we thought you might like to download our three Positive Communication Exercises (PDF) for free . These science-based tools will help you and those you work with build better social skills and better connect with others.

This Article Contains:

What are communication activities, exercises, and games, the role of communication in a relationship, how can we develop better communication skills, 18 communication games and activities for adults, 17 exercises to help improve communication in a relationship, the importance of communication in the family unit, 14 family therapy activities for communication, a take-home message.

The resources in this piece include tips, techniques, exercises, games, and other activities that give you the opportunity to learn more about effective communication, help guide your interactions with others, and improve your communication skills.

Some might feel like a chore you need to cross off your to-do list while others may make you forget you’re not just having fun with your family , but actually boosting vital life skills; however, they all have one thing in common: they will help you become a better, more effective, and more positive communicator with those who mean the most to you.

But what’s the deal with these activities, exercises, and therapy games ? Are they really that important or impactful? Do we really need to work on communicating when it seems like we’re pretty good at it already?

Check out this quote from Stephen R. Covey and take a minute to think about how vital communication really is.

The most important ingredient we put into any relationship is not what we say or what we do, but what we are. And if our words and our actions come from superficial human relations techniques rather than from our own inner core, others will sense that duplicity. We simply won’t be able to create and sustain the foundation necessary for effective interdependence.

Stephen R. Covey

As Covey notes, communication is the foundation of all of our relationships , forming the basis of our interactions and feelings about one another.

According to Australia’s Better Health Channel, communication is “ the transfer of information from one place to another ” and within relationships, it “ allows you to explain to someone else what you are experiencing and what your needs are ” (Victoria Department of Health & Human Services, n.d.).

When communication is good, we feel good about our relationships. Dr. Susan Heitler (2010) puts it this way:

When people say, ‘We have a great relationship,’ what they often mean is how they feel when they talk with one another. They mean, ‘I feel positive toward that person when we interact. I send and I receive positive vibes with them.’

Besides making our relationships easier, there are also relationship-boosting benefits to good communication:

• Effective communication shows respect and value of the other person.
• It helps us to better understand each other; not all communication is about understanding—some are intended to fight, dismiss, invalidate, undermine, etc.—but it should be!
• It makes us feel more comfortable with each other and encourages even more healthy and effective communication (Abass, n.d.).

Download 3 Communication Exercises (PDF)

These detailed, science-based exercises will equip you or your clients with tools to improve communication skills and enjoy more positive social interactions with others.

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Fortunately, all it takes to develop better communication skills is a commitment to do so and a little bit of effort.

These tips from Australia’s Better Health Channel can help guide you toward better communication with your partner or spouse (these tips can also apply to any other relationship in your life with a little tweaking):

• Set aside time to talk without interruption from other people or distractions like phones, computers or television.
• Think about what you want to say.
• Be clear about what you want to communicate.
• Make your message clear, so that your partner hears it accurately and understands what you mean.
• Talk about what is happening and how it affects you.
• Talk about what you want, need and feel – use ‘I’ statements such as ‘I need’, ‘I want’ and ‘I feel’.
• Accept responsibility for your own feelings.
• Listen to your partner. Put aside your own thoughts for the time being and try to understand their intentions, feelings, needs and wants (this is called empathy ).
• Share positive feelings with your partner, such as what you appreciate and admire about them, and how important they are to you.
• Be aware of your tone of voice.
• Negotiate and remember that you don’t have to be right all the time. If the issue you are having is not that important, sometimes let the issue go, or agree to disagree (Victoria Department of Health & Human Services, n.d.).

If you’re experiencing high levels of conflict in your relationship(s), the Better Health Channel has some specific recommendations for you:

• Avoid using the silent treatment.
• Don’t jump to conclusions. Find out all the facts rather than guessing at motives.
• Discuss what actually happened. Don’t judge.
• Learn to understand each other, not to defeat each other.
• Talk using the future and present tense, not the past tense.
• Concentrate on the major problem, and don’t get distracted by other minor problems.
• Talk about the problems that hurt your or your partner’s feelings, then move on to problems about differences in opinions.
• Use ‘I feel’ statements, not ‘You are’ statements (Victoria Department of Health & Human Services, n.d.).

8 Tips on How to Teach Communication Skills

This useful framework comes from Alice Stott at Edutopia (2018):

• Physical: How a speaker uses their body language, facial expressions, and voice.
• Linguistic: The speaker’s use of language, including their understanding of formality and rhetorical devices.
• Cognitive: The content of what a speaker says and their ability to build on, challenge, question, and summarize others’ ideas.
• Social and emotional : How well a speaker listens, includes others, and responds to their audience (Stott, 2018).

Once you have a good framework for understanding communication, try these 8 ways to foster effective communication in your children or students:

• Teach your kids empathy so they can get a sense of what the other person is thinking and feeling.
• Teach your kids conversation skills with techniques like puppets and video modeling, which they can then apply in exercises and activities.
• Establish listening and speaking procedures in the classroom or at home (e.g., Dr. Allen Mendler’s SLANT strategy : Sit up straight, Listen, Answer and ask questions, Nod to show interest, Track the speaker; Mendler, 2013).
• Teach respectful vocabulary and remind students that being “cold” (passive) or “hot” (angry) will probably result in less understanding and more conflict.
• Teach the power of pausing (e.g., encourage them to pause, think, and ask questions like “What do you mean by that?” and “Why?”).
• Have your kids practice speaking and listening in natural settings (e.g., outside of the home and classroom).
• Encourage introspection in your children; it will help them understand themselves better as well as those around them.
• Practice taking turns with a talking stick or a ball, teaching your children that they can speak when they have the object but they are expected to listen when others are talking (Stanfield, 2017).

One of the most effective ways to avoid unnecessary disputes is to practice non-violent communication (NVC). According to Rosenberg (1999), non-violent communication methods can serve us in three ways:

• It can increase your ability to live with choice, meaning, and connection
• It helps connect empathically with yourself and others to have more satisfying relationships
• It shares resources so everyone is able to benefit

In an effort to exemplify the various forms that communication can take, we want to share some key differences between passive, assertive, and aggressive communication styles.

• Specifically, a passive communicator prioritizes the needs of others, even at their own expense. This often leads to being taken advantage of and having their own needs disregarded by others as well.
• An assertive communicator mirrors the values of NVC, which is what we should aim for. This communication style emphasizes the importance of all parties’ needs and is defined by confidence and the willingness to compromise
• Aggressive communication, also referred to as violent communication, disregards any other parties involved and consists of constant disrespect, interrupting, and domination.

Now that you are familiar with these types of communication styles, it’s time to analyze how you convey your thoughts to others (and if there is any room for improvement).

If you’re looking for some concrete ways to build communication skills in adults, you’ve come to the right place. Below are 18 games, activities, and exercises that you can use to help adults develop more effective listening and communication skills.

5 Communication Activities for Adults

To get started improving your (or your team’s, or your student’s) communication skills, give these 5 activities a try.

1. Card Pieces

This exercise from the team at MindTools is a good way to help participants develop more empathy, consider other perspectives, build their communication and negotiation skills.

First, make sure you have enough people for at least three teams of two, enough playing cards to give out between 4 and 6 cards to each person, and 15 minutes to spare.

Here’s how the activity works:

• Cut each playing card into half diagonally, then in half diagonally again, so you have four triangular pieces for each card.
• Mix all the pieces together and put equal numbers of cards into as many envelopes as you have teams.
• Divide people up into teams of three or four. You need at least three teams. If you’re short of people, teams of two will work just as well.
• Give each team an envelope of playing card pieces.
• Each team has three minutes to sort its pieces, determine which ones it needs to make complete cards, and develop a bargaining strategy.
• After three minutes, allow the teams to start bartering for pieces. People can barter on their own or collectively with their team. Give the teams eight minutes to barter.
• When the time is up, count each team’s completed cards. Whichever team has the most cards wins the round.

Afterward, you can use these questions to guide discussion on the exercise:

• Which negotiation strategies worked? Which didn’t?
• What could they have done better?
• What other skills, such as active listening or empathy, did they need to use?

2. Listen and Draw

This game is easy to play but not so easy to “win.” It requires participants’ full attention and active listening.

Gather your group of participants together and hand out a piece of paper and a pen or pencil to each player. Tell them you will give them verbal instructions on drawing an object, one step at a time.

For example, you might give them instructions like:

• Draw a square, measuring 5 inches on each side.
• Draw a circle within the square, such that it fits exactly in the middle of the square.
• Intersect 2 lines through the circle, dividing the circle into 4 equal parts.

As the exercise continues, it will get progressively harder; one misstep could mean that every following instruction is misinterpreted or misapplied. Participants will need to listen carefully to ensure their drawing comes out accurately. Once the instructions have all been read, compare drawings and decide who won.

For added engagement, decide in advance on what the finished product is supposed to represent (e.g., a spiderweb, a tree).

3. Communication Origami

This is a great exercise to help people understand that we all hear and interpret things differently, even if we are given the exact same information.

Here’s how it works:

• Give one sheet of standard-sized paper (8.5 x 11 inches) to each participant.
• Tell your participants that you will be giving them step-by-step instructions on how to fold their piece of paper into an origami shape.
• Inform your participants that they must keep their eyes and mouths closed as they follow instructions; they are not allowed to look at the paper or ask any clarifying questions.
• Give the group your instructions on how to fold the paper into the origami shape of your choice.
• Once the instructions have all been given, have everyone open their eyes and compare their shape with the intended shape.

You will likely find that each shape is a little bit different! To hit the point home, refer to these discussion points and questions:

• Make the point that each paper looks different even though you have given the same instructions to everybody. What does this mean?
• Ask the group if you think the results would have been better if they kept their eyes open or were allowed to ask questions.
• Communicating clearly is not easy, we all interpret the information we get differently that’s why it’s very important to ask questions and confirm understanding to ensure the communicated message is not distorted.

4. Guess the Emotion

Another useful exercise from the Training Course Material website is called “ Guess the Emotion .” As you might expect, it involves acting out and guessing emotions. This helps all participants practice empathy and better understand their coworkers or group members’ reactions.

Follow these instructions to play this engaging game:

• Divide the group into two teams.
• Place on a table (or put in a box) a packet of cards, each of which has a particular emotion typed on it
• Have a participant from Group A take the top card from the table and act out (pantomime) the emotion for his/her group. This is to be done in a fixed time limit (such as a minute or two).
• If the emotion is guessed correctly by Group A, they receive ten points.
• Now have a participant from Group B act out an emotion; award points as appropriate.
• Rotate the acting opportunities between the two groups.
• After 20 to 30 minutes of acting and guessing, call time and announce the winning team based on its point total.

If you have a particularly competitive group, consider giving a prize to the winning team!

5. The Guessing Game

Finally, another fun and engaging game that can boost communication skills: “ The Guessing Game. ” You will probably recognize this game, as it’s similar to what many people know as “ Twenty Questions ,” except there is no hard limit on the number of questions you can ask.

To start, separate the group into two teams of equal (or roughly equal) size. Instruct one player from each team to leave the room for one minute and come up with a common object that can be found in most offices (e.g., a stapler, a printer, a whiteboard).

When this person returns, their teammates will try to guess what the object is by asking only “Yes or No” questions (i.e., questions that can only be answered with “yes” or “no”). The team can ask as many questions as they need to figure it out, but remind them that they’re in competition with the other team. If there’s time, you can have multiple rounds for added competition between the teams.

Take the last 10 minutes or so to discuss and debrief. Use the following points and questions to guide it:

• Tell the group that obviously it took a long time and effort for us to find out the object in each round, but what if we didn’t have time and only had one question to ask to find out the object, what would that question be?
• The question would be “What is the object?” which is an open-ended question.
• Open-ended questions are an excellent way to save time and energy and help you get to the information you need fast, however, closed questions can also be very useful in some instances to confirm your understanding or to help you control the conversation with an overly talkative person/customer.

5 Listening Activities for Adults

If you’re intent on improving listening skills, in particular, you have lots of options; give these 5 activities a try.

1. Telephone Exercise

This classic exercise from Becky Norman (2018) at Sift’s Training Zone illustrates why listening is such an important skill, and why we shouldn’t ignore any opportunities to improve it.

Split your group into two even lines. At opposite ends of each line, whisper a phrase or short sentence to the person on the end and tell them to pass it on using only whispers, one person at a time. They can only repeat the phrase or sentence once.

While participants are busy passing the message along to the next person in line, play music or engage them in conversation to create some white noise. This will make it a bit more difficult but it will mimic real-life conditions, where distractions abound.

When the messages have made it to the end of each line, have the last person to receive the message in each line report out on what they heard. Next, have the first person to receive the message in each line report the original message and compare it to the final message received.

2. Stop Listening Exercise

This exercise , also from Becky Norman’s piece (2018), will show participants the emotional consequences of not listening and—hopefully—encourage them to practice better listening skills.

Split your group into two smaller groups of equal size and take one group outside the room. Tell them that they are instructed to stop listening to their partner after about 30 seconds, and to be open in showing their disinterest. Tell the other group to think of something that they are passionate about and be prepared to tell their soon-to-be partner a meaningful or personally relevant story about this topic.

Bring the other group back in, put all the participants into pairs, and tell them to get started. Observe the behavior from the listeners and the reactions from the speakers until you’re sure each speaker has picked up on what’s happening. Stop the conversations at this point and explain the instructions that were given to each group.

Facilitate a group discussion on the importance of listening, how to use active listening, and what indicates that someone is truly listening.

3. Listener and Talker Activity

The “Listener and Talker” activity is another good activity for showing the importance of active listening and giving participants a chance to practice their skills.

Divide your group into pairs, with one partner assigned to the talker role and the other assigned to the listener role. The talker’s job is to describe what he or she wants from a vacation without specifying a destination. The listener’s job is to listen attentively to what is being said (and what is not being said) and to demonstrate their listening through their behavior.

After a few minutes of active listening, the listener should summarize the three or main criteria the talker is considering when it comes to enjoying their vacation. Finally, the listener should try to sell the talker on a destination for their vacation. After a quick debrief on how well the listener listened, the two should switch roles and try the exercise again.

This exercise gives each participant a chance to practice talking about their wants and needs, as well as an opportunity to engage in active listening and use the knowledge they gained to understand and relate to the speaker.

4. Memory Test Activity

This great activity from TrainingCourseMaterial.com is called the “Memory Test” activity.

• Tell participants that you are going to read them a list of words to test their memory.
• Instruct them to listen carefully, as they cannot write down any of the words. Tell them you will test them later to see how many of the words they can remember.
• When you finish reading the list of words, distract your participants by talking about something else for at least one full minute.
• Once you have finished talking, have each participant write down as many words as they can remember from the list.

You (and your participants) will find that it’s pretty difficult to remember a list of somewhat-random words, especially when there is a break in time and another discussion in between hearing them and recalling them! Relate this to real-life listening by emphasizing the importance of paying attention to people when they are speaking to you, especially if it’s an important conversation.

5. Just Listen Activity

This activity comes from the folks at MindTools.com and offers participants a chance to communicate their feelings and provide a recap or rephrasing of another person’s feelings on a subject.

To get started, you will need an even number of people to pair off (or prepare to partner with one yourself) and eight index cards per pair. These index cards should have one topic written on each card; try to make sure the topics are interesting but not too controversial, as you don’t want listeners to dislike the speakers if they disagree with their viewpoint (e.g., you should probably avoid politics and religion).

Use these instructions to conduct the activity:

• Have the team members sit down in their pairs.
• Give each pair eight of the index cards.
• Instruct one partner to choose a random card and then speak for three minutes on how he or she feels about the topic.
• Instruct the other partner to stay quiet while the first partner talks, just listening instead of speaking.
• After the three minutes is up, the listener has one minute to recap what the speaker said (not agree, disagree, or debate, just recap).
• Have each pair switch roles and repeat the exercise so both partners get a chance to speak and to listen.

After each participant has played both roles, end the activity and guide a discussion with the following questions:

• How did speakers feel about their partners’ ability to listen with an open mind? Did their partners’ body language communicate how they felt about what was being said?
• How did listeners feel about not being able to speak about their own views on the topic? How well were they able to keep an open mind? How well did they listen?
• How well did the listening partners summarize the speakers’ opinions? Did they get better as the exercise progressed?
• How can they use the lessons from this exercise at work?

You will find this activity at this link , exercise #4.

6 Nonverbal Communication Activities for Adults

Nonverbal communication is just as important as verbal communication, if not more so!

Use these 6 activities to practice reading and “speaking” effective nonverbal messages.

1. Power of Body Language

This activity from TrainingCourseMaterial.com will help your participants work on their body language skills.

• Tell the participants that you are going to give them a series of instructions and you want them to follow them as fast as they can.
• Put your hand to your nose.
• Clap your hands.
• Touch your shoulder.
• Stamp your foot.
• Cross your arms.
• Put your hand to your mouth (but while saying this one, put your hand to your nose).
• Observe how many participants copied what you did instead of what you said.

Share this observation with your group and lead a discussion on how body language can influence our understanding and our reactions. It can reinforce what we hear or it can interfere with the verbal communication we receive. The more aware we are of this possibility, the better communicators we become. It’s vital to keep your own body language in mind, just as it’s vital to notice and understand others’ body language.

2. Clap and Follow

The “Clap and Follow” activity is a great way to practice using your body in conjunction with verbal communication.

It works like this:

• Tell your group that this is a game that requires their full concentration.
• When they hear one clap from the leader (you), tell them this means they should stand up.
• When they hear two claps from the leader, they should hop once in place.
• When they hear three claps, they should rub their belly.
• When they hear four claps, they should do a 360-degree turn on the spot.
• When they hear five claps, they should pat their head.
• Begin the activity! Start with one clap, then two claps, and so on until you have given the group each instruction once.
• Now, mix it up! Switch between the five different instructions and begin to pick up the pace. This is when the eliminations begin.
• Each time a participant engages in the wrong activity, eliminate them from the game. Continue until there is one clear winner.

If you have a competitive group, you may want to bring a prize to ensure active engagement with the exercise. It will give participants a chance to practice nonverbal communication in a fun context.

3. Wordless Acting

This activity from Grace Fleming (2018) at ThoughtCo will show your participants how much we “speak” with our body language and facial expressions.

Here are the instructions:

• Separate your group into pairs.
• Assign one participant in each pair to be Partner A and the other to be Partner B.
• Give each participant a copy of the script (copied below).
• Instruct Participant A to read his or her lines out loud, but instruct Participant B to communicate his or her lines in a nonverbal way.
• Provide Participant B with a secret emotional distraction written on a piece of paper (e.g., Participant B is in a rush, is really bored, or is feeling guilty).
• Have each pair work through the script.
• After each pair has finished working through the script, have the “A” participants guess what emotion their partner was feeling.

This is the script you will give each participant:

A: Have you seen my book? I can’t remember where I put it. B: Which one? A: The murder mystery. The one you borrowed. B: Is this it? A: No. It’s the one you borrowed. B: I did not! A: Maybe it’s under the chair. Can you look? B: Okay—just give me a minute. A: How long are you going to be? B: Geez, why so impatient? I hate when you get bossy. A: Forget it. I’ll find it myself. B: Wait—I found it!

After the activity, guide a discussion on how much information we can pick up from nonverbal communication and how important it is to regulate our bodies and our facial expressions when communicating, even if we’re also using verbal communication.

4. We Have to Move Now!

Another great exercise from Grace Fleming (2018) is called “We Have to Move Now!” and it will help your participants learn how to express and detect several different emotions.

These are the instructions for this activity:

• Cut several strips of paper.
• On each strip of paper, write down a mood, feeling, or disposition, like guilty, happy, suspicious, paranoid, insulted, or insecure.
• Fold the strips of paper so you can’t see what is written on it and place them in a bowl or jar. These are your prompts.
• Have each participant take a prompt from the bowl or jar and read the exact same sentence to the class, but with the emotion the prompt specifies.
• The sentence everybody will read is: “We all need to gather our possessions and move to another building as soon as possible.”
• Have the participants guess the emotion of each reader by writing down what they think the speaker is feeling (or what they are supposed to be feeling).

After each participant has had a chance to read the sentence based on one of the prompts, run through the emotions displayed and see how many each participant guessed correctly. Finally, lead a debriefing discussion on how things like tone and body language can impact the way a message is received.

5. Stack the Deck

All you’ll need for this exercise is a deck of playing cards, a blindfold for each participant, and some space to move around.

Here’s how “Stack the Deck” works:

• Shuffle the deck of cards and hand one out to each participant.
• Instruct the participants to keep their cards a secret; no one should see the suit or color of another participant’s card.
• Tell the participants that they will not be allowed to talk at all during this exercise.
• Instruct your participants to assemble into four groups according to their suit (hearts, clubs, diamonds, spades), but using only nonverbal communication.
• If you have the time and your participants have the inclination, try blindfolding each participant and giving the same instructions—it makes it much more difficult and more time-consuming!
• Once participants have all gathered into one of the four groups, have them line up according to their rank (Ace is the lowest, King is the highest); again, they cannot speak or show their cards to anyone during this part of the exercise.
• The group that lines up in the right order first wins!

As always, you can offer a prize to the winning team to motivate your participants.

This exercise will show how difficult it is to communicate without words, but it will also show your participants that it is not only possible, it gets easier as they start to pick up on one another’s nonverbal cues.

You can find this exercise at this link (Activity #3).

6. Silent Movie

Finally, facilitate this activity to really drive home the importance of effective nonverbal communication.

Divide your participants into two groups. For the first half of the activity, one group will be screenwriters and the other group will be actors. In the second half, the two groups will switch roles.

Instruct the screenwriters to write a silent movie, but to keep these things in mind:

• Silent movies tell a story without words. It’s important to start the scene with the actor doing an obvious task, like cleaning the house or rowing a boat.
• The scene must be interrupted when a second actor (or several actors) enter the scene, and their arrival should have a big impact. The character(s) could be anyone (or anything), including burglars, salesmen, children, or even animals.
• A physical commotion must occur.
• The problem that is caused by the commotion must be resolved by the end of the scene.

Give the screenwriters time to write out their script, then have the actors perform the script. Once the scene is finished, have the groups switch roles.

The communication game – Asgar Hussain

2 Communication Group Activities

Other great activities for group communication include the “Square Talk” and “Follow All Instructions” activities.

1. Square Talk Activity

For this activity , you will need one blindfold for each participant, one long piece of rope for each team (teams should be composed of around 5 participants each), and 25 minutes.

Follow these steps to give this activity a try:

• Divide your group of participants into groups of about 5 each.
• Clear the room so you have as much space as possible.
• Blindfold each participant and tell them their objective: to make a square from a rope (i.e., stand in the shape of a square with their team).
• Disorientate each participant by moving them a bit, spinning them around, etc.
• All team members are blindfolded and must remain so for the duration of the activity.
• The rope you are holding is approximately ___ feet in length.
• The role you are holding is knotted together to form a circle; it must not be undone.
• You must not let go of the rope.
• You will be told when you have 5 minutes remaining.
• Allow the teams to work on the activity and inform them when they have 5 minutes left.

Once the teams have given this activity their best shot, use these 5 discussion questions to review the importance of good group communication:

• Do you feel as a group you communicated effectively?
• During the Activity, what communication skills did you use effectively?
• During the activity, what communication skills could you have used to improve performance?
• How important is communication in the workplace? Why?
• What key points have you learned about communication from this activity, that you wish to apply in the workplace?

2. Follow All Instructions Activity

This activity from TrainingCourseMaterial.com is a great one for young people, but it can be used with participants of all ages. All you’ll need is a set of instructions for each participant.

• Write all of your teams initials at the top right-hand corner of this sheet.
• Write your first name on your sheet of paper.
• Write the total of 3 + 16 + 32 + 64 here: __________________
• Underline instruction 1 above.
• Check the time by your watch with that of one of your neighbor’s.
• Write down the difference in time between the two watches at the foot of this page.
• Draw three circles in the left-hand margin.
• Put a tick in each of the circles mentioned in 6.
• Sign your signature at the foot of the page.
• On the back of the page, divide 50 by 12.5.
• When you get to this point in the test, stand up, then sit down and continue with the next item.
• If you have carefully followed all these instructions, call out ‘I have’.
• On the reverse of this page, draw quickly what you think an upright bicycle looks like from overhead.
• Check your answer to Item 9, multiply it by 5 and write the result in the left-hand margin opposite this item.
• Write the 5th, 10th, 9th and 20th letters of the alphabet here: ___________________
• Punch three holes with your pen here: o o o
• If you think you are the first person to get this far, call out ‘I’m in the lead’.
• Underline all the even digits on the left-hand side of the page.
• Draw triangles around the holes you punched in Item 15.
• Now you’ve finished reading all the instructions, obey only 1, 2, 20 & 21.
• Stand up and say, “We’re the greatest team in the World!”

As you can see, the instructions include lots of silly directives (e.g., “When you get to this point in the test, stand up, then sit down and continue with the next item.”) that will identify who is following the directions and who is not—but the person that stands is actually the one not following directions!

The first and only verbal instruction you will give participants is to read all the written instructions first before engaging in any of the directives. The first person to complete the list will be declared the winner of the activity. You can offer a prize to the winner if you think the group would be motivated by it.

This exercise is a fun way to see who is paying attention and who is skipping the most vital instruction—to read everything before acting.

7 Communication Games for Couples

Defeating Divorce shares the following three games aimed at improving communication in a romantic relationship.

This game is goal-directed, meaning the couple is working towards a common goal, and that goal requires effective communication.

• The couple sits back to back with an identical set of building blocks in front of each of them.
• One partner uses their blocks to create some sort of building or structure.
• The builder partner then relays a series of instructions to the other partner to help him or her build the exact same structure.
• The listener partner must try to build the same structure based on the speaker partner’s instructions.

This game takes some serious teamwork and good communication, and it can be repeated as needed to help a couple build their skills.

2. Minefield

“Minefield” is a physical game that will not only get both partners up and moving, but it will also require a great deal of trust and communication to complete the challenge.

You will need a blindfold for one partner, some space to navigate, and some objects with which you can create a minefield or obstacle course. Once the course is ready to go, blindfold one partner and bring them into the room.

The challenge here is for the non-blindfolded partner to guide the blindfolded partner through the obstacle course using only verbal communication. The couple will only succeed if the blindfolded partner has trust in their partner and the non-blindfolded partner is an effective verbal communicator.

Feelings of frustration are common in this game, but it can be a great way to highlight issues in communication or, alternately, highlight the couple’s communication strengths.

3. Give Me a Hand

This game is another one that can be frustrating for the couple but ultimately provides a great opportunity to build effective communication skills and unite the two in a common goal.

In this game, the couple will be given a seemingly easy task to complete, such as buttoning a shirt or tying a shoe, but with a catch—each partner will have one arm tied behind their back. The couple will find that the lack of one arm makes the task much more difficult than they might expect!

To complete the task, the couple will need to communicate effectively and coordinate their movements. It will be tough, but immensely satisfying to successfully complete this challenge!

4. Twenty Questions Times Two

If you remember the game “Twenty Questions”, you’ll recognize this game. It can be used to help couples communicate, share important details, and strengthen their connection.

Here’s how:

• The couple should schedule some time alone, without distractions.
• Before playing the game, each partner should come up with a list of 20 detailed personal questions to ask the other partner. The couple should feel free to get creative here!
• Both partners take turns asking each other one question at a time.
• When they’ve finished asking each other their questions, they should reverse them! Instead of asking questions like, “What is your favorite color?” each partner will ask, “What is my favorite color?”

This fun twist on a familiar game will result in greater knowledge and understanding of your spouse and, hopefully, better communication skills.

5. Eye-to-Eye

This game is a good way for couples to work on communicating and improving their connection, and all you need is your eyes!

Here’s how to do it:

• The couple sits facing each other, close enough to hold hands.
• Each partner looks directly into the other partner’s eyes.
• Each partner should take a minute to notice the feelings they are experiencing at this point.
• One partner begins talking about something simple and easy to discuss, like what happened that day, what they had for lunch, or something they are grateful for.
• The other partner reciprocates with a similar conversation, all while holding eye contact.
• The couple continues sharing things one at a time until each partner has shared at least three or four times.
• The couple discusses what the experience was like.

Many people find this game uncomfortable at first, but with practice, it can greatly enhance your sense of intimacy with your partner.

6. The Top Three

Similar to the “three good things” exercise, this game’s aim is to boost a couple’s gratitude for one another and give them both a chance to practice expressing it. Couples should schedule a time for this game every day, but the good news is that it doesn’t take long—just a few minutes will do.

To play “The Top Three”, couples should follow these instructions:

• At the end of each day, take some time to reflect on your day. Think about what your partner has done for you today.
• Take turns sharing those three things with your partner and tell them what each thing meant to you.
• Don’t forget to say “thank you” or otherwise verbally express your gratitude to your partner!

This game gets couples to practice vocalizing their appreciation and expressing gratitude, two things that are not necessarily in everyone’s daily communications but can have a big impact on a relationship.

7. Make a Playdate

Playdates are not just for kids or puppies—they are a great idea for couples as well! A play date is not your average, regularly scheduled programming sort of date, but something that is different, spontaneous, unique, and/or just plain fun!

Here are the three ground rules for the playdate:

• It has to be something for just the couple to do and they cannot include the kids or discuss mundane things like chores or bills.
• It has to be something that requires both partners to be present in the moment; think sailing, rock climbing, or dance lessons rather than seeing a movie or going out to dinner.
• The couple should take turns picking the activity and try to surprise their partner with something new.

Planning this date will not only make it easier to feel connected and closer to one another, but it also provides couples with an opportunity to communicate their love for one another through their actions. Depending on the date activity, it can also provide some much-needed time for the couple to talk.

5 Exercises and Activities for Married Couples

These exercises , also from Defeating Divorce, are not just for married couples, but for anyone in a committed relationship.

1. Fireside Chats

This communication exercise is based on President Franklin D. Roosevelt’s “fireside chats,” in which he addressed the American people with the intention of making it feel as if he was speaking directly into their living room, carrying on a calm and rational discussion of important issues.

The intention of this exercise for couples is similar: to make the couple feel more connected, more aware of what is going on in each other’s lives, and to maintain a pulse on how the relationship is going.

The two partners should schedule a 15 to 30-minute “fireside chat” each week to practice their ability to speak calmly, respectfully, and effectively about important and relevant issues. They should minimize the chances of distraction (turn off the TV, put their phones on silent, etc.) and focus only on one another for these chats.

What the couple discusses is up to them, but if there are salient relationship issues, this is a good time to talk about them. If the issues are very serious, it may be a good idea to start out this exercise talking about less intense, less emotional topics before moving on to the problem areas.

2. High-Low Activity

The high-low activity also aims to help couples feel more connected and in touch with one another, which requires measured and thoughtful communication. Engaging in this exercise daily will give the couple a chance to practice their communication skills on a regular basis, as well as their active listening skills.

Here’s how the exercise works:

• Wait until the end of the day (e.g., at the end of dinner, around bedtime) to put it into practice.
• The couple will then “check-in” with each other about the other’s day.
• Each partner will ask the other to share their “high” of the day or the best part of their day.
• Next, each partner will ask the other to share their “low” of the day or the worst or most disappointing part of their day.
• As one partner is sharing, the other should practice active listening techniques, conveying their empathy and understanding to their partner.

This simple activity will result in a more intimate and understanding relationship between the two partners, all for just a few minutes a day.

3. Listening Without Words

If a couple wants to practice both their verbal and nonverbal communication, this is a great way to do it. The “Listening Without Words” activity allows each partner to apply both verbal and nonverbal communication skills, as it involves switching between only speaking and only listening.

This is how to practice it:

• The couple will schedule some time for themselves without kids, work, or other responsibilities interrupting them.
• They set a timer for somewhere between 3 to 5 minutes.
• Until the timer goes off, one partner acts as the speaker and the other acts as the listener. The speaker will talk about any subject they’d like to talk about.
• While the speaker talks, the listener will attempt to show the speaker compassion, empathy, and understanding through nonverbal communication only (e.g., smiling, nodding, taking their partner’s hand).
• When the timer goes off, the partners will have a chance to process what they experienced and discuss any thoughts or feelings that came up.
• Finally, the partners switch roles and repeat the exercise.

This exercise is a great way to boost your bond and your skills at the same time.

4. Eye See You

Similar to a previous exercise (“Eye-to-Eye”), this exercise relies heavily on eye contact; however, unlike the previous exercise, this one does not allow talking until the end.

Here’s how to give it a try:

• The couple should be in a quiet and relaxing environment, with as few distractions as possible.
• They sit in two chairs facing one another, near to one another but not touching.
• The couple sets a timer for five minutes and settles in their respective seats, making and holding eye contact with one another. They will hold eye contact but refrain from speaking or touching until the timer goes off.
• Both partners should be encouraged to note any thoughts, feelings, or sensations that come bubbling up during these five minutes.
• Once the timer goes off, the two should try to guess what the other person was thinking and feeling during the five minutes. Once they have a chance to guess, they should discuss these things that bubbled to the surface as they maintained eye contact.

It might surprise some people to hear what their partner was thinking and feeling during the activity, but a strong relationship depends on understanding and empathizing with one another, making communication like this a necessity.

5. Send Me a Postcard

Although we’ve mostly focused on verbal communication and communications via body language, facial expressions, and touch, there is another form that we haven’t mentioned: written communication. This activity guides the couple in developing more effective written communication skills.

Both partners should have two blank postcards and something to write with for this exercise. On one postcard, each partner will write down a message to the other partner communicating a frustration, a feeling, or a desire. They should take a few minutes to create a thoughtful message to their partner.

Once they have their postcard ready to “mail” each partner will deliver their message to their partner without any verbal communication. They will both read their partner’s message and take a few moments to process. When they feel ready, they will use their remaining blank postcard to craft a response to their partner’s message.

When both partners have finished writing their response, they will deliver those messages to one another as well. After they have both read the response postcards, the couple can debrief and discuss their messages to one another.

5 Communication Exercises for Couples Therapy

If you’re hungry for more couples’ communication exercises, maybe these five exercises will hit the spot!

1. Active Listening

Active listening is not the easiest skill to master, but it is an important one to develop. This exercise from marriage counseling expert Racheal Tasker will give you a chance to practice it with the person closest to you.

The next time you and your partner are talking about something important or sensitive, put these tips and techniques into practice:

• The speaker should remain focused on a single thought or idea.
• The listener should listen attentively to the speaker, concentrating on understanding their perspective and attempting to gain new insights into their thoughts and feelings.
• The speaker and listener should switch roles after a while to allow each to practice both types of communication.
• Both partners should practice speaking and listening with patience and love, allowing their feelings for their partner to guide them toward true understanding rather than just reacting (Tasker, n.d.).

2. Sharing Emotions Freely

It can be tough to be truly open with our emotions, but it’s vital for effective communication and a healthy relationship. Try this exercise to work on this skill.

The couple should agree to try this exercise together and follow these instructions:

• Decide on a specific time and place to put this exercise into practice.
• Let your partner know what you need to feel safe sharing your feelings, and listen to what your partner needs to feel safe sharing his or her feelings.
• Be sure to also ask your partner what would make him or her feel more comfortable as you share your feelings, as it can be just as difficult to hear as it is to share.
• Share with your partner! If it helps, use a timer to limit how much sharing can occur and to ensure equal time to share feelings.
• Listen to what your partner tells you and discuss what, if any, concrete steps you can take based on the information you’ve both shared. Commit to using the information you gained to improve your communication skills and your relationship in general (Tasker, n.d.).

3. Use Positive Language

Another great exercise from Racheal Tasker is focused on using positive language with one another. It can be surprisingly easy to slide into a pattern of mostly neutral or even negative language with your partner, but you can use this exercise to counter that tendency.

Here’s what to do:

• Commit to using positive language when you communicate with your partner.
• Ask your partner to make the same commitment to positive language.
• Avoid being overly critical or negative when communicating with your partner.
• Use a positive and encouraging tone when you speak to your partner.
• Keep an eye on the words you use; try to incorporate words like “love”, “feel”, “appreciate”, and ditch words like “fault”, “never”, and “hate” (e.g., “I hate it when you do X!”).

As partners continue to practice this exercise on a regular basis, they will find that their communication style grows more positive with less effort, and their relationship will flourish (Tasker, n.d.).

4. Take a Trip Together

There’s nothing like traveling with someone to work on your communication skills! Making a trip successful requires tons of communication, coordination, and clear expectations, but it can also open you up to fun new experiences and relaxation. To practice communicating with your partner, try planning and taking a trip together.

Plan your trip with a focus on doing things you both like, going to a place you’d both like to visit, and trying new food, activities, and other experiences together. Getting out of your routine and into a novel environment can do wonders for your communication—not to mention your overall mood.

Use some of the other tips and techniques mentioned in this article when you are planning your trip and while you are enjoying your trip; you’re sure to see some improvements to your communication with your partner (Tasker, n.d.).

You can find this exercise at this link , second exercise from the bottom.

5. I Feel (Blank)

The final exercise from Tasker is called “I Feel _____” and it’s a simple one.

We often have trouble sharing our feelings, even (or especially) with those we are closest to. A great way to work on communicating your feelings more often—and more effectively—is to practice saying “I feel (blank).”

The next time you are experiencing strong emotions or discussing a sensitive or difficult subject with your partner, try beginning your sentences with “I feel…” and continue from there. So, if you’re upset with your partner for forgetting about an important appointment or canceling plans at the last minute, instead of saying “You don’t respect my time,” try “I feel like you don’t respect my time.”

Framing your discussion in this manner—as a statement of your feelings rather than a personal attack or blaming session—is not only conducive to greater understanding, it also shows your partner that you care about having a constructive conversation and that your intentions are not to hurt them but to help them see from your perspective.

According to researchers Peterson and Green (2009), family communication is so important because:

“…it enables members to express their needs, wants, and concerns to each other. Open and honest communication creates an atmosphere that allows family members to express their differences as well as love and admiration for one another.”

The benefits of high-quality communication make spending time on improving the way family members relate to one another a task that is well worth the time spent on it. If you’re interested in working on your communication skills as a family, give the following activities and exercises a try.

These 14 activities are great tools to use in family therapy, but you can also try them at home.

4 Group Exercises for the Family

These four group exercises are a great introduction to communication skill-building as a family. They’re fun, engaging, and good for all ages!

1. What If?

The best time to work on communication skills is when families take the time to just sit and relax together. This simple game is a great way to do that, allowing families to improve how they communicate with one another while laughing together and putting their imagination to good use.

You will need strips of paper, a pencil or pen for each family member, and two bowls.

• Get two slips of paper and something to write with for each family member.
• On the first slip, have each family member write a question off the top of his or her head; it can be silly, serious, or anywhere in between. Put all the questions in one of the bowls and give them a good mix.
• On the second slip of paper, have each family member write an answer to the question they came up with. Place these slips in the second bowl and mix them up.
• Pass each bowl around the room and have each family member take one question slip and one answer slip.
• Have each family member read the question and the answer that they have in their hand. The questions and answers might fit well together or they may result in absurd combinations!
• Continue the game with two more slips of blank paper. It may take a few rounds for everyone to get the hang of the game, but family members will get more comfortable with the game and enjoy it more as they go along.

Use the following questions to guide your discussion as a family:

• Did the activity spark your imagination?
• Why did the questions and answers get funnier after several rounds?

2. Expressing Individuality

Although families usually share values, norms, and beliefs, that doesn’t mean all family members will see things the same way. It can be hard for some family members to communicate their thoughts and feelings when they feel like the odd one out or a “black sheep” in the family.

To make sure your family is a safe space for everyone to share their thoughts and feelings, give the “Expressing Individuality” activity a try. It will help each family member understand that they are a valuable part of the family and that they are always free to share their unique perspective.

You’ll need about an hour for this activity, 15 minutes to make the dough and 45 minutes for the activity itself. Use one of the recipes below to make your own play dough as a family.

If you want to make reusable play dough, mix together:

• 1 cup flour
• 1 cup water (add food coloring to water if you want colored clay)
• 1 teaspoon cream of tartar
• 1 tablespoon oil

After mixing these ingredients together, put over low heat and stir slowly. When the dough has formed into a small ball, remove it from the heat and knead while still warm. Store the clay in a sealed container.

If you plan on baking your designs at the end of this activity to preserve them, mix together:

• ½ cup water
• Food coloring (if desired—you can also paint the figures after you bake them)

Follow these instructions to encourage each family member to express their individuality:

• If you love Boy Scouts, you may want to mold the image of a person sitting on a log by a campfire.
• If you received an award as the “Employee of the Month,” you may want to mold the image of something that represents hard work, or dependability.
• If friendliness is a personal characteristic that you value, you may want to mold a face with a pleasant smile, or if you have a great love for animals, you may want to mold several of your favorite animals.
• After creating your unique design, you can preserve it by placing it on a cookie sheet and baking it in the oven on warm for several hours (until hard). This will harden the clay hard so that it maintains its shape. If you did not use food coloring to color the clay, or if you like to paint, you could paint the hardened figure. Once everyone has completed a mold, display these molds in the home.

To continue working on communicating your individuality as a family, ask these questions and discuss your answers together:

• Why did you choose to make what you did?
• What does it mean to you?

If the idea of creating a figure out of play dough doesn’t appeal to you, you can also try these two alternatives:

• You could draw pictures using plain white paper and colored pencils/crayons. Drawing may allow you to express more ideas than if you use clay. Make sure that you do not place an emphasis on artistic abilities. It is okay to draw simple stick figures that represent people or other objects.
• You could cut pictures out of old magazines and paste them on a poster board. After each person has completed a mold, picture, or collage, allow each family member to explain how their collage, picture or mold represents them.

3. Hints of Anger

Anger is a normal human emotion, and we will all get angry at some point. Instead of trying to avoid or deny anger, it’s vital that families learn how to manage their anger and communicate it to others in a healthy way. This activity will help family members identify their anger cues (the signs that indicate they are getting angry) and help them regulate their emotions to ensure they don’t say or do something they will regret.

Here’s how to do this activity as a family:

• Tell family members to think about a time when they were angry or upset, and consider how they felt.
• Were your hands relaxed or clenched in a fist?
• Was your heart rate normal or beating fast?
• Were your muscles relaxed or tight with tension?
• What kind of thoughts was going through your head?
• As a family, discuss any discrepancies between what you think about your anger cues and what other family members think.
• How did your body feel during this period of time?
• In which scenario did you feel more comfortable, angry, or happy?
• Discuss the importance of knowing when you are getting upset and might need to take a break and think.

After the activity, discuss these questions as a family:

• Why is it important to recognize the signs that you are angry?
• Why is it important to control your anger?
• What do you feel like specifically, when you are upset?
• What are the things you are going to do to manage your anger so it does not hurt your family relationships?
• Can recognizing anger cues help in managing your anger?

4. Family Meetings

Family meetings are a good idea for a lot of reasons, but yet another benefit of these get-togethers is the potential for building and developing better communication skills as a family. Regular family meetings can help family members learn how to:

• Make joint decisions
• Plan together
• Accept responsibility
• Show concern for others
• Spend some quality time together

Pick one night of the week when your family can consistently get together for a weekly family meeting that lasts 30 to 60 minutes, and make sure it’s scheduled on everyone’s calendar.

Here’s how to conduct good family meetings:

• Set a regular time. Setting a regular time and place gives the family council a position of importance and results in it becoming a permanent part of family operations. If everyone knows that the family is meeting together regularly, they find that most problems can wait a few days to be discussed. For this reason, some families like weekly meetings.
• Use an agenda. Post a paper during the week where family members can list concerns they want brought up (possibly, the message center). Discuss things in the order listed. This also reduces problems between meetings when parents can say, “List it on the agenda and we’ll discuss it at the meeting.”
• Attendance is voluntary . All members of the family are invited to attend — but attendance is voluntary. However, if a member is not present, he/she is still expected to abide by any decisions made by the family council.
• Each person has an equal voice . Everyone should be encouraged to contribute ideas and suggestions. All members must be treated the same, regardless of age. Using the steps of negotiation to (1) introduce the problem, (2) discuss solutions, and (3) vote on a solution. This gives everyone a chance to be involved. Councils do not always run smoothly. Teenagers are often suspicious that the new program is just another way for parents to gain compliance with their demands. In the first council meetings, rebelliousness may be exhibited to deliberately test whether parents are sincere about including them in family decision-making.
• Use rules of order . If participation is to be equal, then some type of order must be maintained. If a person has the right to express himself, then he also has the right to be heard — which implies that others have the obligation to listen. Rules of order help this situation.
• Rotate chairmanship . If the same person conducts all meetings, that person eventually begins to assume an air of superiority. To help maintain a feeling of equality, family members should take turns conducting the councils. This allows each person to experience the privileges and the responsibilities of this position.
• Accentuate solutions . Family council should not be “just a gripe session” — a time to get together and complain. In order to prevent this, you may decide that the person presenting a problem must also suggest one possible solution. Family members could then discuss alternate solutions or modify the one presented. In practice, some solutions do not work as well as anticipated. As family members begin to live with a decision, they may decide it needs to be changed. This change, however, must wait until the next regular meeting. Children soon recognize a need for better solutions and they learn by experience to make wiser choices. When family council is held regularly, each member learns to project ahead and anticipate problems. When this occurs, the emphasis at council meetings shifts from problem-solving to problem prevention and planning. Family council can also be a time to plan fun things like vacations or family outings. Families can talk about different places to visit and how they want to spend the time available.
• Decide on the authority level . The family council can be the final authority for the family, or a family can have a modified version of decision making. For it to be effective, however, most decisions made by the council need to be binding. If parents always overrule the council, children will soon lose interest.
• Keep a record . There sometimes develops a difference of opinions as to who conducted the last meeting, what matters were discussed, and what plans were agreed upon. For this reason, a secretary to record minutes is most helpful. The secretary can rotate with each meeting.

After your first family meeting, discuss these questions as a family:

• How did your first family meeting go?
• What about the meeting was good? What was bad?
• What do you want to incorporate in future meetings?

4 Active Listening Exercises

Active listening is a vital part of communication and can greatly improve relationships between family members. These four active listening exercises are a great way to boost your skills.

1. Precision Communication

Another activity that can help your family build and continue to develop good communication skills is called “Precision Communication.” It’s focused on active listening, which is a vital part of communication and conducive to better understanding and stronger, healthier relationships.

Here’s how to put this activity into practice:

• Set up a maze in your home using furniture, such as kitchen chairs or other pieces of furniture that can act as a barrier.
• Tie string or yarn between the furniture to create a clear path through the maze.
• Select a family member that will try to walk through the maze blindfolded. This person must not see the maze prior to being blindfolded.
• Have someone give voice instructions so the family member can be directed through the maze.

This activity’s aim is to see if the family member giving instructions can help the blindfolded family member get through the maze without bumping into the furniture, walls, or string. This means that not only must the speaking family member communicate clear and detailed instructions, but the blindfolded family member must also use their active listening skills to receive the instructions and implement them effectively.

Use these discussion questions to debrief and maximize this learning opportunity:

• Why was clear detailed communication necessary for this exercise?
• How important was it to listen carefully to the one giving instructions? Why?
• What were some of the difficulties associated with helping a family member complete this exercise?
• Using some of the ideas from this exercise, how can you, as a family, improve your communication skills?

If you want more from this activity, try this follow-up:

Draw a simple picture or pattern on a piece of paper. Without letting family members see the diagram, tell them what they need to do to make a copy of your picture that matches as closely as possible. After giving detailed instructions, see how accurately the pictures match up.

2. End of the Word—Beginning of the Next

This is a fun game on the Encourage Play website that can keep your kids actively engaged in building their listening skills.

Here’s how to play:

• One person (probably an adult) starts the game by giving out one word—it can be any word, it just needs to be one that every family member knows how to spell.
• The next family member must listen to the word the previous person said, then come up with a word that starts with the letter the last word ended with.

This is an easy game to play since you don’t need any materials, just a few minutes and the ability to hear one another! That makes it a great game for car rides, waiting in restaurants, or standing in a long line. To make it more challenging, give it a bit of complexity by limiting the words to a category, like animals or cities.

3. Red Light Green Light

Another exercise from the Encourage Play website is a familiar one. It’s based on the classic “Red Light, Green Light” game in which the leader gives instructions by color: saying “red light” means stop and saying “green light” means go.

To make the game a bit more challenging and really emphasize the importance of active listening, incorporate these three variations to the game:

• Different colors refer to different types of movement; for example, yellow light could mean skipping, purple light could mean crab walking, and blue light could mean hopping.
• Pretend to be a different animal for different colors (yellow = lion, green = bunny, purple = frog, etc.).
• Use words that rhyme with red or green to see if the players catch the difference (e.g., “Bread Light! Teen Light!”).

4. Tell a Group Story

Group stories are a great way to practice active listening with the whole family. It also gives kids a chance to be creative and silly, which helps to keep them engaged in the activity.

• The first person (probably an adult) starts a story with just one sentence (e.g., “Once upon a time, there was a very curious brown bunny”).
• The next person adds onto the story with just one sentence as well (e.g., “This bunny lived with her mother and father in a cozy little burrow under a willow tree”).
• The story continues until everyone has contributed at least a couple of sentences to the story.

This activity boosts active listening skills because it requires careful and attentive listening to what has already been said in order to make a good contribution to the story.

3 Assertive Communication Exercises

One of the best skills to teach your kids is how to be assertive instead of aggressive or passive (or passive-aggressive). Use these three assertive communication activities to help them learn this important skill.

1. Assertive Communication Worksheet

This worksheet is a great way to help older kids understand the difference between types of communication and to learn how to communicate assertively.

The worksheet first provides a good working definition of assertive communication:

“A communication style in which a person stands up for their own needs and wants, while also taking into consideration the needs and wants of others, without behaving passively or aggressively.”

It also outlines the traits of people who are assertive communicators, including:

• Clearly state needs and wants
• Eye contact
• Listens to others without interruption
• Appropriate speaking volume
• Steady tone of voice
• Confident body language

Next, it shares four tips on communicating assertively:

• Respect yourself—your wants and needs are as important as everyone else’s.
• Express your thought and feelings calmly rather than using the silent treatment or yelling and threatening.
• Plan out what you’re going to say before you say it.
• Say “no” when you need to, say it clearly, and do it without lying.

After some examples of assertive communication, we get to the active part of the worksheet. It’s geared toward adults, but the scenarios can be tweaked to fit kids as well.

There are four situations presented and space to write out your own assertive response to each. These situations are:

• Your partner says, “ I know you have plans for the weekend, but I really need you to watch the kids. I have a friend coming to town, and we made plans .”
• Situation: You’ve just received your food at a restaurant, and it was prepared incorrectly. Your sandwich seems to have extra mayo, instead of no mayo.
• Your friend says, “ Hey, can I borrow some money? I want to buy these shoes, but I left my wallet at home. I’ll pay you back soon, I swear. It won’t be like last time .”
• Situation: Your neighbor is adding an expansion to their house, and the crew starts working, very loudly, at 5 am. It has woken you up every day for a week.

Working through these scenarios as a family can help your kids see what healthy assertive communication looks like and show them that it’s okay to say “no” sometimes.

2. The Aggressive Alligator

The Aggressive Alligator is a great tool from Kristina Marcelli-Sargent, for teaching assertiveness over-aggressiveness or passiveness. It makes what can be a dry and boring subject more interesting and engaging.

Start by giving simple definitions to the terms “passive,” “aggressive,” and “assertive.” Next, show them a list of animals or a bin of small stuffed animals and allow them to choose an animal that they feel represents each definition. The aggressive animal doesn’t need to be an alligator, it can be anything that makes sense to your children.

After your kids have chosen an animal for each term, describe some social situations and instruct your kids to act them out with their animals. Each animal should act according to the definition it represents (e.g., the aggressive alligator should act aggressively, the passive panda should act passively, and the assertive anteater should act assertively).

Once all scenarios have been acted out, talk to your kids about how the outcomes differed between the three animals. Point out which one(s) resulted in a positive outcome and which one(s) should probably be avoided. In the future, you can refer back to the assertive anteater to remind your kids to be assertive instead of passive or aggressive (Sargent, 2015).

3. Keeping Cool

A great lesson for kids to learn is that assertive communication is about being firm and direct without being angry or upset. This activity will help you teach healthy assertiveness to your kids or students.

Here’s how to go about it:

• First, ask your kids how people might feel when they are bullied. If they have trouble coming up with answers, talk about how people might feel angry, scared, sad, upset, embarrassed, or confused.
• Next, ask your kids what kinds of things people want to do when they feel this way. If they can’t think of things people might do when they feel upset, angry, or sad, mention that they might yell, throw something, hit something, hide, cry, or do something else to make another person feel as bad as they feel.
• Ask your kids if they think these are good or helpful things to do. Explain how everyone has strong, negative feelings like this sometimes, and that it’s okay to feel them. These feelings have a purpose; they tell us that something is wrong or that something needs to be fixed, but they can also encourage us to do the wrong thing unless we learn how to keep a cool head.
• Close your eyes and take several slow deep breaths
• Count to ten
• Relax the muscles in your face and body
• Talk silently to yourself and repeat a soothing phrase, such as “Keep calm” or “I control my feelings”
• Get a drink of water
• Go sit by a person you trust

Discuss these options with the whole group and decide together on what the best techniques are, then practice using them together.

Click here to read about this exercise from the Education Development Center’s Bullying Prevention program.

3 Nonverbal Communication Exercises

Finally, although verbal communication is generally the focus of skill-building exercises and activities, nonverbal communication is also a vital skill to develop.

Use these 3 exercises to help your kids build their nonverbal skills.

1. Understanding Non-Verbal Communication

Things like tone of voice, facial expressions, body posture, and hand gestures are all non-verbal, but they are hugely important in our communication with others. If we say one thing with our words and another with our face or body, we can end up giving mixed messages and confusing others.

To make sure we are saying what we want to say with our words and our face, body, and tone, help your kids learn how to understand and “speak” non-verbal communications.

Here’s s description of this activity:

“As a family, make a list of different non-verbal actions. For example, folding your arms, snorting, frowning, etc… Select a TV program or a segment of a video. Watch about 5 to 7 minutes of the program with the volume off. While watching the program without volume, identify the different non-verbal messages, especially the feelings that are expressed. After 5 to 7 minutes, turn off the TV and discuss what you observed. You could even carry on the discussion as the program continues.”

To get the discussion started, use questions like:

• What were the non-verbal messages that you observed?
• How important do you think the non-verbal messages are in helping you to enjoy the movie and understand what was going on in the movie?
• Did you observe any confusing non-verbal messages?
• What feelings were expressed through non-verbal communication?
• What were some of the difficulties of this activity?
• What can you do to be more aware of non-verbal messages?
• Did everyone think the non-verbal message meant the same thing?
• Are non-verbal messages always obvious in real life?

If you want more from this exercise, try this follow-up activity. Seat two family members away from each other and have them carry on a conversation about giving directions to somewhere or explaining how to do something. As they talk, they should focus on trying to understand the other person’s feelings.

After doing this for a few minutes, the two should turn around, face each other, and continue the discussion—they will likely find it much easier!

Use the following questions to guide your discussion after the follow-up:

• When you had your backs to each other, did a lack of non-verbal communication affect your ability to communicate with the other person? If so, how?
• What feelings did you experience as you communicated with your back to the other person?
• When you spoke to the other person face-to-face, did this improve your ability to communicate and understand the other person’s feelings? If so, how?
• Did face-to-face communication improve your ability to understand the other person’s feelings?
• How can you increase your awareness of non-verbal messages you do not mean to be sending?
• How can you be aware of how we may misinterpret someone else’s non-verbal messages?”

2. Charades

Charades is a popular game with kids since it’s fun, easy to play, and can result in some seriously silly situations.

Here’s what you need to do:

• Animals: Monkey, dog, cat, rabbit, kangaroo, snake
• Activities: brushing teeth, playing cards, shining a flashlight, fishing, playing frisbee
• Emotions: scared, sad, bored, angry, happy, wary, proud

Acting out these prompts will give kids an opportunity to practice communicating non-verbally, a skill that they can easily build over time (Simmons, n.d.).

This nonverbal communication activity  is available from Sue Simmons at Equinox Family Consulting.

3. Silent Snack

Finally, another activity from Sue Simmons is called “ Silent Snack ” and it gives young children a chance to have fun while building their nonverbal communication skills.

Follow these instructions to give it a try:

• Put out a few different snacks in individual bowls.
• Tell everyone it’s “Silent Snack Time,” meaning there’s no talking allowed!
• Offer each person a taste of each snack.
• Each player should take turns sharing their opinion on each snack. They can use indicators like thumbs up and thumbs down or facial expressions to communicate their opinions.

It’s a simple activity, but an effective one! Give it a try at your next snack time.

17 Exercises To Develop Positive Communication

17 Positive Communication Exercises [PDF] to develop help others develop communication skills for successful social interactions and positive, fulfilling relationships.

Created by Experts. 100% Science-based.

I hope you leave this piece with a treasure trove of new resources you can use to improve your own life or the lives of your clients.

Communication skills are one of the most important skills a person can have, making it well worth your while to devote some time and energy to develop them.

What are your favorite ways to work on communicating with your spouse? Do you schedule a time to talk about how your relationship is doing or do you just let it flow naturally? What do you think are the best ways to build, enhance, and maintain your communication skills? Let us know in the comments section.

We hope you enjoyed reading this article. Don’t forget to download our three Positive Communication Exercises (PDF) for free .

• Abass, S. (n.d.). 3 benefits of effective communication in a relationship. Lifehack. Retrieved from https://www.lifehack.org/509189/3-benefits-effective-communication-relationship
• https://defeatingdivorce.com/communication-exercises-for-couples/
• Fleming, G. (2018). 4 helpful nonverbal communication activities. ThoughtCo. Retrieved from https://www.thoughtco.com/nonverbal-communication-activities-1857230
• Heitler, S. (2010). What does communication have to do with a good relationship? GoodTherapy. Retrieved from https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/what-does-communication-have-to-do-with-good-relationship
• Lee, T. R., & Pyfer, T. (n.d.). Helping youth succeed: Strengthening family ties: A workbook of activities designed to strengthen family relationships . Utah State University Extension. Retrieved from https://www.families-first.net/uploads/userfiles/files/FL_Youth_02.pdf
• Mendler, A. (2013). Teaching your students how to have a conversation. Edutopia. Retrieved from https://www.edutopia.org/blog/teaching-your-students-conversation-allen-mendler
• Norman, B. (2018). Trainers’ tips: Active listening exercises. Training Zone . Retrieved from https://www.trainingzone.co.uk/develop/cpd/trainers-tips-active-listening-exercises
• Peterson, R., & Green, S. (2009). Helping Youth Succeed: Keys to successful family functioning: Communication . Virginia Cooperative Extension. Retrieved from https://www.pubs.ext.vt.edu/content/dam/pubs_ext_vt_edu/350/350-092/350-092_pdf.pdf
• Reichmann, D. (n.d.). 5 communication games guaranteed to bring you closer. Engaged Marriage . Retrieved from https://www.engagedmarriage.com/5-communication-games/
• Rosenberg, M. B. (1999). Nonviolent communication: A language of compassion. Del Mar.
• Sargent, K. M. (2015). The aggressive alligator: Fun ways to teach assertiveness to children. Art of Social Work . Retrieved from https://kristinamarcelli.wordpress.com/2015/10/21/the-aggressive-alligator-fun-ways-to-teach-assertiveness-to-children/
• Simmons, S. (n.d.). Nonverbal games: 10 simple activities . Equinox Family Consulting, Ltd. Retrieved from https://equinoxfamilyconsulting.com/communication/nonverbal-games-10-simple-activities/
• Stanfield, J. (2017). 8 tips to teach effective communication skills. James Stanfield. Retrieved from https://stanfield.com/blog/2017/11/8-tips-teach-effective-communication-skills/
• Sott, A. (2018). Teaching communication skills. Edutopia. Retrieved from https://www.edutopia.org/article/teaching-communication-skills
• Tasker, R. (n.d.). 6 amazing couples therapy exercises for improving communication . GuideDoc . Retrieved from https://guidedoc.com/couples-therapy-exercises-for-improving-communication
• Victoria Department of Health & Human Services. (n.d.). Relationships and communications . Better Health Channel. Retrieved from https://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/health/healthyliving/relationships-and-communication

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Mastering the 5 Communication Styles for Effective Communication

By Kyla Mintz • November 15, 2023

Communication styles are like fingerprints - unique to each individual and capable of leaving lasting impressions. Mastering the art of effective communication begins with understanding these styles and adapting to various situations. Are you ready to embark on a journey of self-discovery, relationship-building, and professional growth? Let’s dive in!

Key Takeaways

• Understand the 5 communication styles and their implications on interpersonal interactions.
• Adapt to different communication styles for successful collaboration with others.
• Enhance your communication skills with tools and resources from Kumospace for effective conversations in any setting.

Understanding the importance of communication styles

Communication is the lifeblood of human connection, shaping our personal and professional lives. Our own communication style plays a significant role in how we interact with others, often influencing the success or failure of interpersonal relationships. But why are communication styles important?

We can navigate various situations with ease and proficiency when we recognize different communication styles. A positive work environment , strengthened interpersonal relationships and reduced conflicts among team members are fostered in the workplace when these styles are understood. Additionally, morale is enhanced, and customer satisfaction and loyalty are promoted through effective communication.

Body language, tone of voice, and choice of words all contribute to the way we communicate. We are empowered to adapt our personal style and interact more effectively with others when we identify the main communication styles. Whether we encounter passive or aggressive communication, being aware of these styles paves the way for successful collaboration and mutual understanding.

So, what is the most effective communication style? The answer lies in striking a balance between self-expression and empathy. We can tailor our approach to different situations better and foster healthier, more productive relationships once we learn to navigate the intricacies of various styles.

Identifying the 5 communication styles

In this article, we will delve into the realm of types of communication styles, exploring the five main categories:

• Passive-aggressive
• Manipulative

Each style has distinct characteristics and implications on interpersonal interactions, shaping the way we connect with others.

Assertive communication style

Assertive communication is often considered the gold standard in effective communication. Characterized by directness, honesty, and respectfulness, this style promotes healthy relationships and strives for mutually beneficial outcomes. Assertive communicators exhibit optimism , positivity, and a solution-oriented mindset, actively listening and collaborating while standing firm in their own beliefs and values.

A key aspect of assertive communication is the use of “I” statements, which allows individuals to express themselves without accusing or criticizing others. For example, saying “I feel you could have been more courteous to our client” instead of “You are behaving like an unprofessional child.” This approach fosters a respectful conversation , paving the way for effective problem-solving and collaboration.

When interacting with assertive communicators, team members are more likely to feel accepted rather than intimidated, leading to an open and honest exchange of ideas. Embracing assertive communication allows individuals to improve their own interpersonal skills and contribute to a harmonious and productive work environment.

Aggressive communication style

In contrast to the balanced approach of assertive communication , the aggressive communication style is characterized by hostility and domination. Aggressive communicators often use forceful language, talk over others, and disregard the input of their teammates. This style can leave others feeling belittled, steamrolled, and intimidated, unlike the more respectful assertive style.

Aggressive communication is not only detrimental to relationships but can also undermine the message being conveyed. When team members feel attacked, they may reject the aggressive communicator’s ideas simply due to their unpleasant approach. Encouraging more cooperative and constructive interactions can be achieved by maintaining a respectful demeanor and practicing active listening.

When faced with an aggressive communicator, it is crucial to remain calm and composed. Here are some strategies to help you handle the situation:

• Establish clear expectations and limits.
• Focus on facts and objectives, rather than getting caught up in personal attacks.
• Avoid engaging in hostile exchanges or escalating the situation.
• Create an environment conducive to open dialogue and understanding, even in the face of aggression.

By following these strategies, you can effectively handle aggressive communication and maintain a productive conversation .

Passive communication style

The passive communication style is marked by submissiveness and conflict avoidance. Passive communicators often struggle to express themselves effectively, seeking to evade confrontation at all costs. While this approach may seem amiable on the surface, it can lead to confusion and miscommunication in the workplace.

Passive communicators may have difficulty asserting their needs and desires, which can result in feelings of resentment and frustration. Additionally, their reluctance to engage in constructive discussions may hinder their ability to contribute effectively to their team.

Providing a safe space for expression and encouraging their participation is important when communicating with passive individuals. Demonstrating patience, understanding, and empathy can help create a positive environment where they feel comfortable sharing their thoughts and ideas.

Passive-aggressive communication style

The passive-aggressive communication style combines elements of both passive and aggressive styles, utilizing indirect methods like sarcasm and gossip to express anger or frustration. This approach can be manipulative and confusing, often leading to resentment and tension among team members.

Passive-aggressive communicators may engage in behaviors such as giving the silent treatment, making backhanded compliments, or withholding information. These tactics can create an atmosphere of distrust and hinder collaboration with the individual using this style, often identified as a passive-aggressive communicator.

Remaining calm and focusing on the underlying issues is essential to address passive-aggressive communication. Here are some steps you can take:

• Encourage open dialogue and guide the individual towards more assertive communication.
• Address the behavior directly and express how it affects the team.
• Set clear expectations for communication and behavior.
• Provide constructive feedback and offer solutions for improvement.
• Foster a more productive and supportive environment for all team members.

Manipulative communication style

The manipulative communication style is characterized by deceit and cunning tactics to achieve a desired outcome, often at the expense of others. Manipulative communicators may use flattery, guilt, or misdirection to influence the conversation and conceal their true intentions. This approach can erode trust and foster insincerity, as people may become wary of the manipulative communicator’s motives. Over time, this can lead to a breakdown in collaboration and a reluctance to engage with the individual.

Maintaining emotional control and standing firm in your position is crucial when dealing with manipulative individuals. Here are some strategies to consider:

• Encourage them to express their feelings and opinions openly.
• Provide constructive feedback to guide them towards more assertive communication.
• Set clear boundaries and expectations for behavior.
• Stay calm and composed during interactions.
• Seek support from colleagues or a supervisor if necessary.

By implementing these strategies, you can help foster greater trust and understanding among team members.

Adapting to different communication styles

Exploring the various communication styles reveals that adaptation to these styles is essential for effective communication and collaboration . By recognizing and adjusting to different styles, we can better understand the needs and expectations of others, paving the way for harmonious and productive relationships.

Communicating with assertive individuals

Practicing active listening and articulating your thoughts clearly is important when engaging with assertive communicators. This approach ensures that both parties feel heard and understood, fostering a respectful conversation and facilitating problem-solving. Additionally, be willing to compromise and consider the other person’s point of view to achieve a mutually beneficial outcome.

Emphasize the importance of maintaining confident body language, such as standing up straight and maintaining eye contact. This not only conveys respect but also demonstrates your openness to understanding their perspective. By adopting these strategies, you can forge stronger connections with assertive individuals and enhance your own communication skills.

Communicating with aggressive individuals

Maintaining composure and demonstrating respect is crucial when faced with aggressive communicators. Here are some strategies to help you handle these situations effectively:

By following these strategies, you can navigate aggressive communication and maintain a productive and respectful conversation.

Remember that aggressive communicators may not always recognize the impact of their behavior on others. Encourage them to adopt a more assertive communication style by providing constructive feedback and emphasizing the benefits of open and respectful conversation. This approach can help foster better collaboration and promote a more harmonious work environment.

Communicating with passive individuals

Providing a safe space for expression and encouraging their participation is important when communicating with passive individuals. Demonstrate patience, understanding, and empathy, and maintain respect and receptivity to feedback. By adopting these strategies, you can create an environment where passive communicators feel comfortable sharing their thoughts and ideas.

Discussing your own emotions and explaining how their passive behavior impacts you can assist in finding a resolution. By fostering open dialogue and offering support , you can help passive communicators become more comfortable expressing their needs and desires, ultimately leading to more effective communication.

Communicating with passive-aggressive individuals

Remaining calm and focusing on the underlying issues is essential when interacting with passive-aggressive individuals. Here are some strategies to consider:

• Be forthright and candid in your communication.
• Be courteous and receptive to feedback.

Avoid engaging in indirect conflict and instead address the root cause of the passive-aggressive behavior. By doing so, you can help foster a more productive environment for all team members, promoting better collaboration and understanding.

Communicating with manipulative individuals

• Foster greater trust and understanding among team members.

By implementing these strategies, you can navigate manipulative situations more effectively.

It is also important to remain vigilant and recognize manipulative tactics when they occur. By addressing these behaviors directly and holding the manipulative individual accountable, you can help create a more transparent and supportive work environment, ultimately leading to better collaboration and communication among all team members.

Enhancing communication skills with Kumospace

Kumospace provides a platform for exploring various communication style examples and mastering the art of effective communication. Kumospace enables individuals to:

• Recognize and adjust to different styles
• Foster better connections and collaboration
• Offer tools and resources to assist users in developing their communication skills

Kumospace offers valuable insights and practical guidance to HR professionals, whether you’re seeking to improve your own communication style or better understand the styles of your team members. From the DiSC assessment to the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator and the True Colors personality test, Kumospace equips users with the knowledge and tools to enhance their communication abilities and navigate the complexities of interpersonal relationships.

Tips for effective communication in different settings

In today’s fast-paced world, effective communication is more important than ever. Whether you’re navigating remote work, providing exceptional customer service , or collaborating with a diverse team, understanding and adapting to different communication styles is key to success.

Start by cultivating empathy to improve communication in various settings. This involves:

• Attempting to view matters from the other person’s perspective
• Comprehending their sentiments and feelings
• Being open to different viewpoints
• Being willing to reach a compromise

By practicing empathy, you can foster stronger relationships and enhance collaboration.

Being receptive to feedback is another crucial aspect of effective communication. Acknowledging feedback allows you to detect potential problems with your language and content, gain a more objective view of your communication, and refine your skills. Additionally, it helps foster trust with your audience and promotes a more collaborative environment.

Lastly, practice makes perfect. Don’t be afraid to engage in conversations , ask for feedback, and continuously develop your communication skills. You’ll not only become a better communicator but also foster more harmonious and productive relationships in all aspects of your life by embracing the challenge of understanding and adapting to various communication styles.

In conclusion, mastering the art of effective communication is a lifelong journey that begins with understanding and adapting to various communication styles. By embracing the challenge of navigating these styles, we can foster more harmonious and productive relationships in both our personal and professional lives. So go forth and communicate, knowing that with each conversation, you’re building stronger connections and expanding your understanding of the diverse world around you.

Frequently Asked Questions

What are the 4 types of communication styles  .

The three main styles of communication are passive, aggressive, passive-aggressive and assertive. We use these styles depending on the situation. Each of these styles has its own characteristics that can be used to effectively communicate with others.

What are communication styles?  

Communication styles refer to the different ways people approach conveying and receiving ideas and opinions. Understanding your own communication style is key to becoming self-aware while conversing.

Why is it important to understand and adapt to different communication styles?  

Understanding and adapting to different communication styles is crucial for successful collaboration and interpersonal relationships. It enables us to effectively communicate in various situations and create a positive work atmosphere.

How can I improve my communication skills with assertive individuals?  

Be an active listener, communicate clearly and compromise when necessary to improve communication with assertive individuals. This creates a respectful dialogue and enables effective problem-solving.

Transform the way your team works from anywhere.

A virtual office in Kumospace lets teams thrive together by doing their best work no matter where they are geographically.

Kyla is part of the Marketing team at Kumospace, where she helps run the social media accounts and creates content. Kyla has many different passions outside of work, including volleyball, traveling, and restaurant dining.

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Communication Skills, Problem-Solving Ability, Understanding of Patients’ Conditions, and Nurse’s Perception of Professionalism among Clinical Nurses: A Structural Equation Model Analysis

This study was intended to confirm the structural relationship between clinical nurse communication skills, problem-solving ability, understanding of patients’ conditions, and nurse’s perception of professionalism. Due to changes in the healthcare environment, it is becoming difficult to meet the needs of patients, and it is becoming very important to improve the ability to perform professional nursing jobs to meet expectations. In this study method, structural model analysis was applied to identify factors influencing the perception of professionalism in nurses. The subjects of this study were 171 nurses working at general hospitals in city of Se, Ga, and Geu. Data analysis included frequency analysis, identification factor analysis, reliability analysis, measurement model analysis, model fit, and intervention effects. In the results of the study, nurse’s perception of professionalism was influenced by factors of communication skills and understanding of the patient’s condition, but not by their ability to solve problems. Understanding of patient’s condition had a mediating effect on communication skills and nursing awareness. Communication skills and understanding of the patient’s condition greatly influenced the nurse’s perception of professionalism. To improve the professionalism of clinical nurses, nursing managers need to emphasize communication skills and understanding of the patient’s condition. The purpose of this study was to provide a rationale for developing a program to improve job skills by strengthening the awareness of professional positions of clinical nurses to develop nursing quality of community.

1. Introduction

Changes in the environment related to climate and pollution are causing health problems and various diseases such as respiratory and circulatory problems, metabolic disorders, and chronic diseases. Moreover, access to modern healthcare facilities has created greater expectations among patients receiving personalized healthcare and high-quality healthcare. As the difficulty of satisfying the demands of patients increases, enhancing nursing capabilities has become increasingly important [ 1 ]. To improve this, hospitals are making efforts to change the internal and external environments so as to increase the number of nurses, reduce the length of hospital stays, and enable efficient nursing practice. Despite these efforts, the workloads of nurses and the demand for clinical nurses are continuously increasing [ 2 , 3 ]. As a result, nurses are developing negative attitudes and prejudices toward patients, as well as negative perceptions of professionalism. To address this, the cultivation and strengthening of nursing professionals’ capabilities is essential.

Nurses’ perception of professionalism is an important element influencing their ability to perform independent nursing, and a good perception of their profession results in a positive approach to solving patients’ problems [ 4 , 5 ]. In addition, the characteristics and abilities of individual nurses can influence the level of care and enable them to understand patients, solve problems, and provide holistic care, which is the ultimate goal of the nursing process [ 6 , 7 ]. Thus, patients expect nurses to not only have medical knowledge of the disease but to also be able to comprehensively assess the patient’s problems and be independent and creative in nursing [ 8 ]. This attitude can have a major impact on the quality of nursing services and can inspire pride in the nursing occupation and professional achievement. These findings can also be used by nurses to prevent burnout and maintain professionalism [ 9 , 10 ].

To respond to the increasing demands for diverse qualitative and quantitative nursing services and to strengthen the capabilities of nursing professionals, efforts have been made to move nursing education toward scientific and creative education. However, in point-of-care environments, not only are nurses prevented from making independent decisions regarding nursing, but also the diverse personal capabilities necessary for such independent behavior are not sufficiently developed [ 11 ]. Therefore, it is important to enhance clinical nurses’ perceptions of the nursing profession; maintain a balance of nursing capabilities; provide novel, high-quality nursing services; and identify assistive nursing education methods and obstructive environmental factors [ 10 ].

Communication skills involve a person’s ability to accurately understand (through both verbal and non-verbal indications) another person, and sufficiently deliver what the person desires [ 12 , 13 ]. Good communication skills are a primary requirement for providing professional nursing services because they enable an in-depth understanding of patients, solving of complicated problems, and reasonable and logical analysis of situations [ 14 , 15 , 16 ]. When effective communication takes place, nurses’ problem-solving abilities and perceived professionalism strengthen [ 17 , 18 ].

According to Park [ 19 ], nurses have difficulties in interpersonal relationships when social tension and interaction skills are low and communication is poor. In addition, these factors are negatively affected not only in the work of the nurse but also in the perception of the profession. Communication skills are associated with both the formation of relationships with patients and the ability to perform holistic nursing [ 20 ]. In order to improve and develop the overall nursing function of a clinical nurse like this, it is important to complement the relevant integrated nursing abilities [ 21 , 22 ].

Previous studies have investigated the importance of communication skills for nurses, and the relationships between nurses’ problem-solving ability and their understanding of the patients’ conditions. Nonetheless, data that can comprehensively explain the structural relationships between these qualities and how they affect the job perception of nurses remains insufficient.

Therefore, the present study aims to identify the structural model for the relationships between nurses’ communication skills, problem-solving ability, understanding of patients’ conditions, and nurse’s perception of professionalism. Additionally, the study provides basic data necessary for developing programs for improving nursing abilities.

The purpose of this study is to construct a theoretical model that explains the structural relationships among nurses’ communication skills, problem-solving ability, understanding of patients’ conditions, and nurse’s perception of professionalism. In addition, the study aimed to verify this model using empirical data.

2. Materials and Methods

2.1. study design.

To create and analyze the structural model for clinical nurses’ communication skills, problem-solving ability, understanding of patients’ conditions, and nurse’s perception of professionalism, the theoretical relationships among the variables were developed based on related theories.

In this study, communication skills were set as the exogenous variables, whereas problem-solving ability, understanding of patients’ conditions, and perception of the nursing occupation were set as the endogenous variables. In addition, communication skills were set as the independent variables and nursing job perceptions as the dependent variable. This is because the ability of communication helps to maintain an intimate relationship with the patient and to assess the patient’s condition through each other’s relationship and to solve problems and develop correct understanding. Communication skills, problem-solving ability, and understanding of patients’ conditions were set as the parameters for determining causality. The research model is shown in Figure 1 .

Study model.

2.2. Study Participants

The structural equation model has less than 12 measurement variables. The sample size usually requires 200 to 400 participants [ 23 ]. A total of 250 participants were selected for the study. In line with ethical standards and practices, participants received a full explanation on the purpose of the study. They were briefed that the information collected would be used for research purposes only. Furthermore, they were informed that they could withdraw from the study at any time.

2.3. Data Collection Method

Data collection for this study was performed by two researchers unrelated to the hospital from April 20 to May 1, 2019. A questionnaire was used to collect data from clinical nurses working in five hospitals in Seoul, Gyeonggi, and Gangwon provinces. Of the 250 questionnaires disseminated, we received 225 completed returns. However, 54 were considered inaccurate, inconsistent, or unsatisfactory for coding purposes. Thus, 171 fully completed valid questionnaires comprised the final dataset for analysis.

2.4. Research Instruments

2.4.1. communication skills.

In this study, the communication skill instrument developed by Lee and Jang [ 24 ] was used. Its contents were modified and supplemented to clearly understand the communication skills of nurses. Our questionnaire comprised 20 questions with five questions each concerning “interpretation ability,” “self-reveal,” “leading communication,” and “understanding others’ perspectives.” The answers were rated on a five-point Likert scale ranging from 0 = “strongly disagree” to 4 = “strongly agree.” For this study, the Cronbach’s alpha value was 0.81.

2.4.2. Problem-Solving Ability

The tool developed by Lee [ 25 ] was used to measure the problem-solving ability of clinical nurses. The survey comprised 25 questions, with five questions each concerning “problem recognition,” “information-gathering,” “divergent thinking,” “planning power,” and “evaluation.” Items were scored on a five-point Likert scale ranging from 0 = “strongly disagree” to 4 = “strongly agree.” The internal consistency confidence value Cronbach’s alpha was 0.79.

2.4.3. Understanding Patients’ Condition

To measure nurses’ understanding of patients’ conditions, we developed 10 questions by revising and supplementing items from an existing understanding-measurement tool [ 26 ]. With a total of ten questions, we measured “diagnostic name,” “patient-treatment planning,” and “nursing intervention processes.” Items were scored using a five-point Likert scale ranging from 0 = “strongly disagree” to 4 = “strongly agree.” The internal consistency confidence value Cronbach’s alpha was 0.81.

2.4.4. Nurse’s Perception of Professionalism

Nurse’s perception of professionalism was measured using a tool developed by revising the 25 questions created by Kang et al. [ 1 ]. With a total of ten questions, we measured “vocation” and “autonomy.” Items were scored using a five-point Likert scale. The internal consistency confidence value Cronbach’s alpha was 0.81.

2.5. Data Analysis

To identify the relationships among the set variables, the data were computed statistically using the program included in IBM SPSS 24.0 and AMOS 23.0. (IBM Corp., Armonk, NY, USA). The analysis methods were as follows:

• Frequency analysis was conducted to identify the subjects’ demographic and general characteristics.
• The reliability of the questionnaire was verified using Cronbach’s α coefficients.
• Confirmatory factor analysis (CFA) was performed to verify the convergent validity of the selected measurement tool.
• The normality of the data was determined through analyzing the skewness and kurtosis of the measurement variables.
• The fitness of the model was verified using structural equation modeling (SEM).
• Bootstrapping was utilized to verify the mediating effect in the set study model, as well as the mediating effects of the nurses’ problem-solving ability and understanding of patients’ conditions.

3.1. Demographic Characteristics

The demographic and general characteristics of the study subjects are shown in Table 1 . Overall, 71 respondents were aged 25–29 years (41.5%), representing the most numerous age group. University graduates comprised 113 (66.1%) of the sample, while 50 (29.2%) held graduate degrees, with eight (4.7%) holding master’s degrees. Fifty-three respondents (31.0%) had over seven years of clinical experience, 43 (25.1%) had two to three years of experience, 42 (24.6%) had four to six years of experience, and 33 (19.3%) had less than two years of experience. Additionally, 121 respondents (70.8%) worked at secondary hospitals, while 50 (29.2%) worked at tertiary hospitals; 159 respondents (93.0%) reported that they were general nurses.

Participants’ general characteristics ( N = 171, %).

3.2. Technical Metrics of the Measurement Variables

The multivariate normality of the findings related to the factors of the latent variables was verified through standard deviations, skewness, and kurtosis. The present study meets the criteria for the skewness and kurtosis values mentioned by Hu and Bentler [ 27 ].

All sub-factors of the latent variables secured normality.

In this study, a normal distribution was obtained for each of the four sub-factors of communication skills, five sub-factors of problem-solving ability, three sub-factors for understanding the patient’s condition, and two sub-factors of the nurse’s perception of professionalism as shown in Table 2 .

Technical metrics of the measurement variables ( N = 171).

3.3. Correlations between the Measured Variables

The correlations between the measurement variables were analyzed using Pearson’s product–moment correlation coefficient analysis ( Table 3 ). The correlations among all individual measurement variables were found to show a positive correlation.

Correlations between the observed variables.

3.4. Confirmatory Factor Analysis of the Measurement Model

This study examined how well the measurement variables represented the latent variables in the measurement model. Each set path coefficient was evaluated using non-standardization factors, standardization factors, and standard errors. The path coefficients refer to the factor loadings in CFA. The standardization factors of the individual paths were shown to be at least 0.50 (except for vocation: 0.36), and the critical ratio (CR) was at least 1.96. This indicated that the measurement tool had good convergent validity ( Table 4 ).

Confirmatory factor analysis of the measurement model.

*** p < 0.001; CR: critical ratio.

3.5. Verification of the Structural Model

The structural model for relationships among clinical nurses’ communication skills, problem-solving ability, understanding of patients’ condition, and nurse’s perception of professionalism that would be suitable for predicting the influencing relationships was verified. Since the fitness index of the modified model was shown to be higher than that of the initial model, the final model for this study was set as shown in Figure 2 .

Final model. * χ 2 = 124.074 (df = 61, p <0.001), GFI(Goodness of Fit Index)= 0.90, RMSEA(Root Mean Square Error Approximation)=0.07, NFI(Normed Fit Index)=0.87, IFI(Incremental Fit Index)= 0.93, TLI(Tucker-Lewis Index)= 0.91, CFI(Comparative Fit Index)= 0.92.

3.6. Influencing Relationships between Variables of the Study Model

The standardization factors and CR values of the final model were examined to determine whether there were direct relationships between communication skills, problem-solving ability, understanding of patients’ conditions, and nurse’s perception of professionalism. The results are shown

For the relationship between communication ski in Table 5 .lls and problem-solving ability, the standardization factor was 0.85 and the CR value was 7.37; communication skills showed a statistically significant effect. Consequently. The relationship between communication skills and understanding of patients’ conditions also showed a statistically significant effect. Consequently, Hypothesis 1 was supported.

The relationships between the human effects of the measurement model.

* p < 0.05, *** p < 0.001; CR: critical ratio.

For the relationship between communication skills and nurse’s perception of professionalism, the standardization factor was 0.54, and the CR value was 2.02. Communication skills showed a statistically significant effect. Consequently. For the relationship between problem-solving ability and nurse’s perception of professionalism, the standardization factor was −0.056, and the CR value was −0.39. Problem-solving ability had no statistically significant effect. Consequently.

The relationship between nurses’ understanding of patients’ conditions and nurse’s perception of professionalism had a statistically significant effect. Consequently Figure 2 shows the influencing relationships between the study variables of the final study model, considering non-standardization and standardization factors of the relationships between the study variables.

3.7. Direct and Indirect Effects of the Variables

To grasp the significance of the mediating effect in the final study model, the direct and indirect effects of each variable were examined. To examine the mediating effect of the problem-solving ability and understanding of patients’ conditions variables, the bootstrapping method provided by the AMOS 23.0 program included in IBM was utilized. The results are shown in Table 6 .

Mediating effect analysis.

* p < 0.05, *** p < 0.001

The indirect effect of communication skills on nurse’s perception of professionalism through nurses’ understanding of patients’ conditions was statistically significant. That is, clinical nurses’ communication skills have an indirect positive effect on their nurse’s perception of professionalism, with nurses’ understanding of patients’ conditions acting as a parameter. We also found that the effect of communication skills on nurse’s perception of professionalism was statistically significant. Therefore, communication skills have a partially mediated effect on nurse’s perception of professionalism, with understanding of patients’ conditions acting as a parameter. However, communication skills were found to have no indirect positive effect on nurse’s perception of professionalism when problem-solving ability was set as a parameter.

4. Discussion

In this study, we developed and analyzed a hypothetical model regarding clinical nurses’ communication skills, problem-solving ability, and understanding of patients’ conditions, and how these factors influence their nurse’s perception of professionalism.

4.1. Effect of Communication Skills on Nurses’ Perception of Professionalism

Communication skills were found to have statistically significant effects on their relationship with nurses’ problem-solving ability, understanding of patients’ conditions, and nurse’s perception of professionalism. Nurses’ communication skills not only affected their problem-solving ability but also their understanding of patients’ conditions and nurse’s perception of professionalism. Good communication among nurses can reduce uncomfortable situations and improve interactions with patients, which can consequently enhance problem-solving [ 28 ]. Supporting our findings, Ancel [ 17 ] reported that communication skills afford the maintenance of amicable cooperative relationships with patients across diverse medical classes, thereby enhancing the efficiency of nursing-related problem-solving.

Nurses’ communication is also closely related to their understanding of patients’ conditions, particularly regarding the treatment processes. Nurses frequently experience difficulties as a result of poor communication with not only patients and their family members but also other medical personnel. Further, poor delivery of explanations and questions affects nurses’ understanding of patients’ situations and problems, and patients can also feel concern regarding whether nurses accurately understand their problems [ 29 ]. Nurses frequently experience psychological abuse when communicating with patients and develop stress or discomfort [ 30 ]; this can lead to distrustful relationships with and inhibited understanding of patients [ 31 , 32 ]. Vermeir et al. [ 18 ] reported that scientific approaches are required to understand patients in-depth. To accurately understand both oneself and others, the most important method is successful communication. Such findings support the present study’s indication that nurses’ communication is a basic means of solving nursing problems, with both actions being interrelated.

Our finding that nurses’ communication skills are structurally related to their nurse’s perception of professionalism supports the findings of many previous studies. Regarding nurse’s perception of professionalism, Adams et al. [ 33 ] as well as Lee and Kim [ 34 ] explained that a good perception leads to higher-level capabilities, fostering high-level nursing of patients and the development of autonomous vocation. The above studies reported that, since nurses’ communication skills are related to their nurse’s perception of professionalism, communication skills should be considered a predictor of success. Further, McGlynn et al. [ 35 ] recommended positively reinforcing communication skills to improve nurse’s perception of professionalism. This supports the findings of the present study, indicating that communication and nursing professional perception are interrelated.

Thus, communication skills are important for nursing patients. They enable nurses to accurately understand patients’ problems, serve (by forming patient trust) an important function in the process of administering nursing interventions, and positively affect nurses’ perception of their profession. As such, each concept is important. However, nurses working in the clinic are critically aware of their professionalism. In order to reinforce this, communication skills are required, and the emphasis is placed on strengthening the nurses’ ability to solve problems as well as assess and understand patients. As a result, communication skills play an important role in helping nurses understand patients’ problems accurately, build patient trust in nursing interventions, and create structural relationships that have a positive impact on the perception of nursing occupations. Therefore, efforts to improve nurses’ communication skills not only improve their problem-solving abilities and understanding of patients’ conditions but also improve their nurse’s perception of professionalism. To maintain the professionalism of nurses, “competency development programs” would be helpful, thereby emphasizing the need for their application in nursing colleges and clinical practice.

4.2. Relationship between Nurses’ Problem-Solving Ability and Nurse’s Perception of Professionalism

We found clinical nurses’ problem-solving ability to have no positive effect on their perception of professionalism. This contrasts with previous studies, which reported that problem-solving ability is helpful for such perception of professionalism [ 36 ]. We also found that problem-solving ability does not affect nursing professional perception through a mediating effect.

The present findings indicate that the distinctiveness of the fields of nursing should not be overlooked. In nursing organizations that have a culture of discouraging diversity, when negative results are obtained from attempts to solve nursing problems, confusion regarding the identity of nursing professionals means perception of the profession is not reinforced; in many cases, the opposite perception is formed. Furthermore, for those in lower-level positions, nurse’s perception of professionalism is thought to be low because they cannot voice their opinions and have difficulties such as excessive workloads. Although few previous studies have directly examined this, Vermeir et al. [ 18 ] explained that, as the role expectation for nurses increases, factors for job turnover increase as a result of a sense of confusion regarding the nurses’ role and increases in stress. These findings indicate that factors that degrade nurses’ problem-solving ability induce skepticism regarding nursing and possibly career change, thereby supporting the findings of this study.

However, in the present study, positive results with low levels of relevancy in the structural model but high correlations were found. It is expected that, if nurses’ environmental conditions are improved and their nursing capabilities are developed so that they can solve nursing problems with confidence, their nursing professional perception will improve.

4.3. Relationship between Nurses’ Understanding of Patients’ Conditions and Nurse’s Perception of Professionalism

Our findings indicated that the relationship between nurses’ understanding of patients’ conditions and nurse’s perception of professionalism was statistically significant. This supports Nilsson et al. [ 21 ] and Philip et al. [ 29 ], who reported that, in the fields of nursing, when patients accurately understand nurses’ instructions or explanations and health information, they can participate in, independently adjust, and engage in creative decision-making related to self-nursing.

McGlynn et al. [ 35 ] suggested that understanding patient problems is an important element in resolving negative situations; meanwhile, Heo and Lim [ 37 ] indicated that clinical nurses provide high-quality nursing services and develop self-efficacy when they apply professional knowledge and a desire to understand patients’ problems. These study findings accord with our own findings.

The aforementioned findings suggest that the development and application of programs that can enhance nurses’ understanding of patients’ conditions should be emphasized, and that studies of various patient types, the characteristics of patients by age group and hospital areas, as well as the introduction of simulation education programs to improve nurses’ understanding of patients’ conditions should be continuously implemented.

5. Conclusions

This study aimed to verify the structural relationships between clinical nurses’ communication skills and their problem-solving ability, understanding of patients’ conditions, and nurse’s perception of professionalism. We also aimed to identify, through a structural model, the mediating effects of nurses’ problem-solving ability and understanding of patients’ conditions in the relationship between communication skills and nurse’s perception of professionalism.

The findings of this study are as follows (all significance levels = 0.05). In the relationship between communication skills and problem-solving ability, the value of the standardization factor was 0.85 and the CR value was 7.37, indicating that communication skills had a statistically significant effect. In the relationship between nurses’ communication skills and understanding of patients’ conditions, the value of the standardization factor was 0.61 and the CR value was 6.35, indicating that communication skills had a statistically significant effect. In the relationship between communication skills and nurse’s perception of professionalism, the value of the standardization factor was 0.54 and the CR value was 2.02, indicating that communication skills had a statistically significant effect. However, in the relationship between problem-solving ability and nurse’s perception of professionalism, the value of the standardization factor was −0.05 and the CR value was −0.39, indicating that problem-solving ability has no statistically significant effect. Finally, in the relationship between nurses’ understanding of patients’ conditions and nurse’s perception of professionalism, the value of the standardization factor was 0.56, and the CR value was 2.14, indicating that nurses’ understanding of patients’ conditions has a statistically significant effect.

There are some limitations to this study. First, as we only examined nurses at secondary and tertiary university hospitals, our findings may not be generalizable to all clinical nurses. Replication studies examining a range of levels of medical institutions and associated workers are necessary. Second, the structural relationship between problem-solving ability and the nurse’s perception of professionalism turned out to be insignificant or mediated. Subsequent studies on the various approaches to revisit this structural relationship should be performed. Third, theories should be systematically developed to establish the values of the nursing profession, and additional studies are necessary to explore other variables.

Acknowledgments

We would like to thank the staff nurses who participated in the survey and took the time to complete the initial assessment.

Author Contributions

Conceptualization, A.Y.K. and I.O.S.; methodology, A.Y.K.; software, I.O.S.; validation, A.Y.K. and I.O.S.; formal analysis, A.Y.K. and I.O.S.; investigation, A.Y.K.; resources, A.Y.K.; data curation, A.Y.K.; writing—original draft preparation, A.Y.K.; writing—review and editing, A.Y.K. and I.O.S.; visualization, A.Y.K. and I.O.S.; supervision, I.O.S.; project administration, I.O.S. All authors have read and agreed to the published version of the manuscript.

This research received no external funding.

Conflicts of Interest

The authors declare no conflict of interest.

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Problem-Solving Strategies and Obstacles

Kendra Cherry, MS, is a psychosocial rehabilitation specialist, psychology educator, and author of the "Everything Psychology Book."

Sean is a fact-checker and researcher with experience in sociology, field research, and data analytics.

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From deciding what to eat for dinner to considering whether it's the right time to buy a house, problem-solving is a large part of our daily lives. Learn some of the problem-solving strategies that exist and how to use them in real life, along with ways to overcome obstacles that are making it harder to resolve the issues you face.

What Is Problem-Solving?

In cognitive psychology , the term 'problem-solving' refers to the mental process that people go through to discover, analyze, and solve problems.

A problem exists when there is a goal that we want to achieve but the process by which we will achieve it is not obvious to us. Put another way, there is something that we want to occur in our life, yet we are not immediately certain how to make it happen.

Maybe you want a better relationship with your spouse or another family member but you're not sure how to improve it. Or you want to start a business but are unsure what steps to take. Problem-solving helps you figure out how to achieve these desires.

The problem-solving process involves:

• Discovery of the problem
• Deciding to tackle the issue
• Seeking to understand the problem more fully
• Researching available options or solutions
• Taking action to resolve the issue

Before problem-solving can occur, it is important to first understand the exact nature of the problem itself. If your understanding of the issue is faulty, your attempts to resolve it will also be incorrect or flawed.

Problem-Solving Mental Processes

Several mental processes are at work during problem-solving. Among them are:

• Perceptually recognizing the problem
• Representing the problem in memory
• Considering relevant information that applies to the problem
• Identifying different aspects of the problem
• Labeling and describing the problem

Problem-Solving Strategies

There are many ways to go about solving a problem. Some of these strategies might be used on their own, or you may decide to employ multiple approaches when working to figure out and fix a problem.

An algorithm is a step-by-step procedure that, by following certain "rules" produces a solution. Algorithms are commonly used in mathematics to solve division or multiplication problems. But they can be used in other fields as well.

In psychology, algorithms can be used to help identify individuals with a greater risk of mental health issues. For instance, research suggests that certain algorithms might help us recognize children with an elevated risk of suicide or self-harm.

One benefit of algorithms is that they guarantee an accurate answer. However, they aren't always the best approach to problem-solving, in part because detecting patterns can be incredibly time-consuming.

There are also concerns when machine learning is involved—also known as artificial intelligence (AI)—such as whether they can accurately predict human behaviors.

Heuristics are shortcut strategies that people can use to solve a problem at hand. These "rule of thumb" approaches allow you to simplify complex problems, reducing the total number of possible solutions to a more manageable set.

If you find yourself sitting in a traffic jam, for example, you may quickly consider other routes, taking one to get moving once again. When shopping for a new car, you might think back to a prior experience when negotiating got you a lower price, then employ the same tactics.

While heuristics may be helpful when facing smaller issues, major decisions shouldn't necessarily be made using a shortcut approach. Heuristics also don't guarantee an effective solution, such as when trying to drive around a traffic jam only to find yourself on an equally crowded route.

Trial and Error

A trial-and-error approach to problem-solving involves trying a number of potential solutions to a particular issue, then ruling out those that do not work. If you're not sure whether to buy a shirt in blue or green, for instance, you may try on each before deciding which one to purchase.

This can be a good strategy to use if you have a limited number of solutions available. But if there are many different choices available, narrowing down the possible options using another problem-solving technique can be helpful before attempting trial and error.

In some cases, the solution to a problem can appear as a sudden insight. You are facing an issue in a relationship or your career when, out of nowhere, the solution appears in your mind and you know exactly what to do.

Insight can occur when the problem in front of you is similar to an issue that you've dealt with in the past. Although, you may not recognize what is occurring since the underlying mental processes that lead to insight often happen outside of conscious awareness .

Research indicates that insight is most likely to occur during times when you are alone—such as when going on a walk by yourself, when you're in the shower, or when lying in bed after waking up.

How to Apply Problem-Solving Strategies in Real Life

If you're facing a problem, you can implement one or more of these strategies to find a potential solution. Here's how to use them in real life:

• Create a flow chart . If you have time, you can take advantage of the algorithm approach to problem-solving by sitting down and making a flow chart of each potential solution, its consequences, and what happens next.
• Recall your past experiences . When a problem needs to be solved fairly quickly, heuristics may be a better approach. Think back to when you faced a similar issue, then use your knowledge and experience to choose the best option possible.
• Start trying potential solutions . If your options are limited, start trying them one by one to see which solution is best for achieving your desired goal. If a particular solution doesn't work, move on to the next.
• Take some time alone . Since insight is often achieved when you're alone, carve out time to be by yourself for a while. The answer to your problem may come to you, seemingly out of the blue, if you spend some time away from others.

Obstacles to Problem-Solving

Problem-solving is not a flawless process as there are a number of obstacles that can interfere with our ability to solve a problem quickly and efficiently. These obstacles include:

• Assumptions: When dealing with a problem, people can make assumptions about the constraints and obstacles that prevent certain solutions. Thus, they may not even try some potential options.
• Functional fixedness : This term refers to the tendency to view problems only in their customary manner. Functional fixedness prevents people from fully seeing all of the different options that might be available to find a solution.
• Irrelevant or misleading information: When trying to solve a problem, it's important to distinguish between information that is relevant to the issue and irrelevant data that can lead to faulty solutions. The more complex the problem, the easier it is to focus on misleading or irrelevant information.
• Mental set: A mental set is a tendency to only use solutions that have worked in the past rather than looking for alternative ideas. A mental set can work as a heuristic, making it a useful problem-solving tool. However, mental sets can also lead to inflexibility, making it more difficult to find effective solutions.

How to Improve Your Problem-Solving Skills

In the end, if your goal is to become a better problem-solver, it's helpful to remember that this is a process. Thus, if you want to improve your problem-solving skills, following these steps can help lead you to your solution:

• Recognize that a problem exists . If you are facing a problem, there are generally signs. For instance, if you have a mental illness , you may experience excessive fear or sadness, mood changes, and changes in sleeping or eating habits. Recognizing these signs can help you realize that an issue exists.
• Decide to solve the problem . Make a conscious decision to solve the issue at hand. Commit to yourself that you will go through the steps necessary to find a solution.
• Seek to fully understand the issue . Analyze the problem you face, looking at it from all sides. If your problem is relationship-related, for instance, ask yourself how the other person may be interpreting the issue. You might also consider how your actions might be contributing to the situation.
• Research potential options . Using the problem-solving strategies mentioned, research potential solutions. Make a list of options, then consider each one individually. What are some pros and cons of taking the available routes? What would you need to do to make them happen?
• Take action . Select the best solution possible and take action. Action is one of the steps required for change . So, go through the motions needed to resolve the issue.
• Try another option, if needed . If the solution you chose didn't work, don't give up. Either go through the problem-solving process again or simply try another option.

You can find a way to solve your problems as long as you keep working toward this goal—even if the best solution is simply to let go because no other good solution exists.

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Mishra S. Decision-making under risk: Integrating perspectives from biology, economics, and psychology . Personal Soc Psychol Rev . 2014;18(3):280-307. doi:10.1177/1088868314530517

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Huang F, Tang S, Hu Z. Unconditional perseveration of the short-term mental set in chunk decomposition .  Front Psychol . 2018;9:2568. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2018.02568

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What is effective communication?

Effective communication skill 1: become an engaged listener, skill 2: pay attention to nonverbal signals, skill 3: keep stress in check, skill 4: assert yourself, effective communication.

Want to communicate better? These tips will help you avoid misunderstandings, grasp the real meaning of what’s being communicated, and greatly improve your work and personal relationships.

Effective communication is about more than just exchanging information. It’s about understanding the emotion and intentions behind the information. As well as being able to clearly convey a message, you need to also listen in a way that gains the full meaning of what’s being said and makes the other person feel heard and understood.

Effective communication sounds like it should be instinctive. But all too often, when we try to communicate with others something goes astray. We say one thing, the other person hears something else, and misunderstandings, frustration, and conflicts ensue. This can cause problems in your home, school, and work relationships.

For many of us, communicating more clearly and effectively requires learning some important skills. Whether you’re trying to improve communication with your spouse, kids, boss, or coworkers, learning these skills can deepen your connections to others, build greater trust and respect, and improve teamwork, problem solving, and your overall social and emotional health.

What’s stopping you from communicating effectively?

Common barriers to effective communication include:

Stress and out-of-control emotion.  When you’re stressed or emotionally overwhelmed, you’re more likely to misread other people, send confusing or off-putting nonverbal signals, and lapse into unhealthy knee-jerk patterns of behavior. To avoid conflict and misunderstandings, you can learn how to quickly calm down before continuing a conversation.

Lack of focus.  You can’t communicate effectively when you’re multitasking. If you’re checking your phone , planning what you’re going to say next, or daydreaming, you’re almost certain to miss nonverbal cues in the conversation. To communicate effectively, you need to avoid distractions and stay focused.

Inconsistent body language.  Nonverbal communication should reinforce what is being said, not contradict it. If you say one thing, but your body language says something else, your listener will likely feel that you’re being dishonest. For example, you can’t say “yes” while shaking your head no.

[Read: Nonverbal Communication and Body Language]

Negative body language.  If you disagree with or dislike what’s being said, you might use negative body language to rebuff the other person’s message, such as crossing your arms, avoiding eye contact, or tapping your feet. You don’t have to agree with, or even like what’s being said, but to communicate effectively and not put the other person on the defensive, it’s important to avoid sending negative signals.

When communicating with others, we often focus on what we should say. However, effective communication is less about talking and more about listening. Listening well means not just understanding the words or the information being communicated, but also understanding the emotions the speaker is trying to convey.

There’s a big difference between engaged listening and simply hearing. When you really listen—when you’re engaged with what’s being said—you’ll hear the subtle intonations in someone’s voice that tell you how that person is feeling and the emotions they’re trying to communicate. When you’re an engaged listener, not only will you better understand the other person, you’ll also make that person feel heard and understood, which can help build a stronger, deeper connection between you.

By communicating in this way, you’ll also experience a process that  lowers stress and supports physical and emotional well-being. If the person you’re talking to is calm, for example, listening in an engaged way will help to calm you, too. Similarly, if the person is agitated, you can help calm them by listening in an attentive way and making the person feel understood.

If your goal is to fully understand and connect with the other person, listening in an engaged way will often come naturally. If it doesn’t, try the following tips. The more you practice them, the more satisfying and rewarding your interactions with others will become.

Tips for becoming an engaged listener

Focus fully on the speaker.  You can’t listen in an engaged way if you’re  constantly checking your phone or thinking about something else. You need to stay focused on the moment-to-moment experience in order to pick up the subtle nuances and important nonverbal cues in a conversation. If you find it hard to concentrate on some speakers, try repeating their words over in your head—it’ll reinforce their message and help you stay focused.

Favor your right ear.  As strange as it sounds, the left side of the brain contains the primary processing centers for both speech comprehension and emotions. Since the left side of the brain is connected to the right side of the body, favoring your right ear can help you better detect the emotional nuances of what someone is saying.

Avoid interrupting or trying to redirect the conversation to your concerns.  By saying something like, “If you think that’s bad, let me tell you what happened to me.” Listening is not the same as waiting for your turn to talk. You can’t concentrate on what someone’s saying if you’re forming what you’re going to say next. Often, the speaker can read your facial expressions and know that your mind’s elsewhere.

Show your interest in what’s being said.  Nod occasionally, smile at the person, and make sure your posture is open and inviting. Encourage the speaker to continue with small verbal comments like “yes” or “uh huh.”

Try to set aside judgment.  In order to communicate effectively with someone, you don’t have to like them or agree with their ideas, values, or opinions. However, you do need to set aside your judgment and withhold blame and criticism in order to fully understand them. The most difficult communication, when successfully executed, can often lead to an unlikely connection with someone.

[Read: Improving Emotional Intelligence (EQ)]

Provide feedback. If there seems to be a disconnect, reflect what has been said by paraphrasing. “What I’m hearing is,” or “Sounds like you are saying,” are great ways to reflect back. Don’t simply repeat what the speaker has said verbatim, though—you’ll sound insincere or unintelligent. Instead, express what the speaker’s words mean to you. Ask questions to clarify certain points: “What do you mean when you say…” or “Is this what you mean?”

Hear the emotion behind the words . It’s the higher frequencies of human speech that impart emotion. You can become more attuned to these frequencies—and thus better able to understand what others are really saying—by exercising the tiny muscles of your middle ear (the smallest in the body). You can do this by singing, playing a wind instrument, or listening to certain types of high-frequency music (a Mozart symphony or violin concerto, for example, rather than low-frequency rock, pop, or hip-hop).

The way you look, listen, move, and react to another person tells them more about how you’re feeling than words alone ever can. Nonverbal communication, or body language, includes facial expressions, body movement and gestures, eye contact, posture, the tone of your voice, and even your muscle tension and breathing.

Developing the ability to understand and use nonverbal communication can help you connect with others, express what you really mean, navigate challenging situations, and build better relationships at home and work.

• You can enhance effective communication by using open body language—arms uncrossed, standing with an open stance or sitting on the edge of your seat, and maintaining eye contact with the person you’re talking to.
• You can also use body language to emphasize or enhance your verbal message—patting a friend on the back while complimenting him on his success, for example, or pounding your fists to underline your message.

Improve how you  read nonverbal communication

Be aware of individual differences. People from different countries and cultures tend to use different nonverbal communication gestures, so it’s important to take age, culture, religion, gender, and emotional state into account when reading body language signals. An American teen, a grieving widow, and an Asian businessman, for example, are likely to use nonverbal signals differently.

Look at nonverbal communication signals as a group. Don’t read too much into a single gesture or nonverbal cue. Consider all of the nonverbal signals you receive, from eye contact to tone of voice to body language. Anyone can slip up occasionally and let eye contact go, for example, or briefly cross their arms without meaning to. Consider the signals as a whole to get a better “read” on a person.

Improve how you  deliver nonverbal communication

Use nonverbal signals that match up with your words rather than contradict them. If you say one thing, but your body language says something else, your listener will feel confused or suspect that you’re being dishonest. For example, sitting with your arms crossed and shaking your head doesn’t match words telling the other person that you agree with what they’re saying.

Adjust your nonverbal signals according to the context. The tone of your voice, for example, should be different when you’re addressing a child than when you’re addressing a group of adults. Similarly, take into account the emotional state and cultural background of the person you’re interacting with.

Avoid negative body language. Instead, use body language to convey positive feelings, even when you’re not actually experiencing them. If you’re nervous about a situation—a job interview, important presentation, or first date, for example—you can use positive body language to signal confidence, even though you’re not feeling it. Instead of tentatively entering a room with your head down, eyes averted, and sliding into a chair, try standing tall with your shoulders back, smiling and maintaining eye contact, and delivering a firm handshake. It will make you feel more self-confident and help to put the other person at ease.

How many times have you felt stressed during a disagreement with your spouse, kids, boss, friends, or coworkers and then said or done something you later regretted? If you can quickly relieve stress and return to a calm state, you’ll not only avoid such regrets, but in many cases you’ll also help to calm the other person as well. It’s only when you’re in a calm, relaxed state that you’ll be able to know whether the situation requires a response, or whether the other person’s signals indicate it would be better to remain silent.

In situations such as a job interview, business presentation, high-pressure meeting, or introduction to a loved one’s family, for example, it’s important to manage your emotions, think on your feet, and effectively communicate under pressure.

Communicate effectively by staying calm under pressure

Use stalling tactics to give yourself time to think. Ask for a question to be repeated or for clarification of a statement before you respond.

Pause to collect your thoughts. Silence isn’t necessarily a bad thing—pausing can make you seem more in control than rushing your response.

Make one point and provide an example or supporting piece of information. If your response is too long or you waffle about a number of points, you risk losing the listener’s interest. Follow one point with an example and then gauge the listener’s reaction to tell if you should make a second point.

Deliver your words clearly. In many cases, how you say something can be as important as what you say. Speak clearly, maintain an even tone, and make eye contact. Keep your body language relaxed and open.

Wrap up with a summary and then stop. Summarize your response and then stop talking, even if it leaves a silence in the room. You don’t have to fill the silence by continuing to talk.

Quick stress relief for effective communication

When a conversation starts to get heated, you need something quick and immediate to bring down the emotional intensity. By learning to quickly reduce stress in the moment, you can safely take stock of any strong emotions you’re experiencing, regulate your feelings, and behave appropriately.

Recognize when you’re becoming stressed. Your body will let you know if you’re stressed as you communicate. Are your muscles or stomach tight? Are your hands clenched? Is your breath shallow? Are you “forgetting” to breathe?

Take a moment to calm down before deciding to continue a conversation or postpone it.

Bring your senses to the rescue. The best way to rapidly and reliably relieve stress is through the senses—sight, sound, touch, taste, smell—or movement. For example, you could pop a peppermint in your mouth, squeeze a stress ball in your pocket, take a few deep breaths, clench and relax your muscles, or simply recall a soothing, sensory-rich image. Each person responds differently to sensory input, so you need to find a coping mechanism that is soothing to you.

[Read: Quick Stress Relief]

Look for humor in the situation. When used appropriately, humor is a great way to relieve stress when communicating . When you or those around you start taking things too seriously, find a way to lighten the mood by sharing a joke or an amusing story.

Be willing to compromise. Sometimes, if you can both bend a little, you’ll be able to find a happy middle ground that reduces the stress levels for everyone concerned. If you realize that the other person cares much more about an issue than you do, compromise may be easier for you and a good investment for the future of the relationship.

Agree to disagree, if necessary, and take time away from the situation so everyone can calm down. Go for a stroll outside if possible, or spend a few minutes meditating. Physical movement or finding a quiet place to regain your balance can quickly reduce stress.

Find your space for healing and growth

Regain is an online couples counseling service. Whether you’re facing problems with communication, intimacy, or trust, Regain’s licensed, accredited therapists can help you improve your relationship.

Direct, assertive expression makes for clear communication and can help boost your self-esteem and decision-making skills. Being assertive means expressing your thoughts, feelings, and needs in an open and honest way, while standing up for yourself and respecting others. It does NOT mean being hostile, aggressive, or demanding. Effective communication is always about understanding the other person, not about winning an argument or forcing your opinions on others.

To improve your assertiveness

Value yourself and your options. They are as important as anyone else’s.

Know your needs and wants. Learn to express them without infringing on the rights of others.

Express negative thoughts in a positive way. It’s  okay to be angry , but you must remain respectful as well.

Receive feedback positively. Accept compliments graciously, learn from your mistakes, ask for help when needed.

Learn to say “no.” Know your limits and don’t let others take advantage of you. Look for alternatives so everyone feels good about the outcome.

Developing assertive communication techniques

Empathetic assertion conveys sensitivity to the other person. First, recognize the other person’s situation or feelings, then state your needs or opinion. “I know you’ve been very busy at work, but I want you to make time for us as well.”

Escalating assertion can be employed when your first attempts are not successful. You become increasingly firm as time progresses, which may include outlining consequences if your needs are not met. For example, “If you don’t abide by the contract, I’ll be forced to pursue legal action.”

Practice assertiveness in lower risk situations to help build up your confidence. Or ask friends or family if you can practice assertiveness techniques on them first.

More Information

• Effective Communication: Improving Your Social Skills - Communicate more effectively, improve your conversation skills, and become more assertive. (AnxietyCanada)
• Core Listening Skills - How to be a better listener. (SucceedSocially.com)
• Effective Communication - How to communicate in groups using nonverbal communication and active listening techniques. (University of Maine)
• Some Common Communication Mistakes - And how to avoid them. (SucceedSocially.com)
• 3aPPa3 – When cognitive demand increases, does the right ear have an advantage? – Danielle Sacchinell | Acoustics.org . (n.d.). Retrieved May 22, 2022, from Link
• How to Behave More Assertively . (n.d.). 10. Weger, H., Castle Bell, G., Minei, E. M., & Robinson, M. C. (2014). The Relative Effectiveness of Active Listening in Initial Interactions.  International Journal of Listening , 28(1), 13–31. Link

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Apply our problem solving method

Learn problem solving skills: interpersonal communication styles.

• Learn to recognize differences in communication styles
• Learn how interpersonal communication styles can affect relational outcomes.
• Learn how to use the Interpersonal Circle to adapt your interpersonal communication style to the situation.

“ They may forget what you said, but they will never forget how you made them feel. ” —Carl Buechner

“ The most important single ingredient in the formula of success is knowing how to get along with people .” —Theodore Roosevelt

Do you notice that you act in different ways around certain people? Perhaps you act inhibited around your advisor but act self-assured around your students. Maybe you wish you could be as sociable with your labmates as you are so easily around your friends. These descriptors: inhibited, sociable, assured, and deferent are all examples of interpersonal communication styles (Kiesler, 1982). 

This module is designed to address the interpersonal communication styles that you bring to a communication interaction. The more you know about interpersonal communication styles, the more you can deliberately choose to use a style or not, depending on the situation.

The concepts of interpersonal communication styles and personality overlap, but they do not mean the same thing. People often say “that’s just the way I am.” However, interpersonal communication styles are actually changeable and more in your control than you might think.

Think back to a time in which you communicated with someone and by virtue of the initial interaction you developed a new approach that you tried the next time. For example, perhaps when talking with your advisor you were reserved and didn’t speak up when someone was getting recognition for your work; the next time the topic of work credit came up you were more assertive and spoke up for yourself. 

The fact that you are able to change your approach, and essentially the impression you make (see The Impression You Make ), are different from personality. Personality is more steady and consistent and is most often viewed in terms of traits—a stable, enduring quality that a person shows in most situations (i.e., who we are)—rather than a behavior (i.e., how we act). [See Your Personality and Preferences for more.]

One of the interesting things about interpersonal communication styles is that they can be specific to a situation (e.g., you are different around a faculty member) or defined by how you behave in most communication situations (e.g., you are sociable with most people). You can choose when to use the interpersonal communication style that best serves you in the situation. 

Over time, recognizing and selecting which interpersonal communication approach you wish to use in a particular instance will become easier. With practice the ability to choose will help you break the patterns that don’t work for you in certain situations.

There are many different approaches to defining interpersonal communication styles. Here we describe a couple of models that have received ample research support. We focus on the Interpersonal Circle and its accompanying theory, “Complementarity.” 

The Interpersonal Circle

Interpersonal theorists (Carson, 1969; Kiesler, 1983; Leary, 1957) created the Interpersonal Circle to explain the ways in which people relate to each other interpersonally. The model is based on a system of similarity and dissimilarity and is meant to explain and predict the ways in which two different people may interact in a given situation. 

In this model, 16 interpersonal styles are positioned around a circle. Interpersonal theory has been applied both to traits and behaviors. Here we discuss its applications to real-time communication exchanges of individuals in a dyadic interaction.

The model represents a system that charts interpersonal communication across two dimensions: Power and Affiliation. In the model, the Power (Dominance) axis runs vertically. On this dimension, those interpersonal styles positioned directly across from each other are viewed as complementary to each other. 

In practice, this would mean that in a given interpersonal interaction, individuals who act in a dissimilar manner on the Power axis would likely get along well with each other. For example, if one individual were to act in a dominant manner, then the behavioral response that would likely lead to the best outcome would be for the other person to respond with deference. This makes sense if you consider how the alternative might play out—that is, two people competing for dominance.

The Affiliation axis runs horizontally. Contrary to the Power dimension, similarity is complementary on the Affiliation dimension. For example, if one person acts in a friendly manner, then the responses that would likely predict the best outcome would be for the second person to respond in an equally friendly, warm or sociable manner.

There are multiple reasons why the interpersonal circle is relevant to your life. Using the interpersonal circle is a relatively simple way to identify your own tendencies toward particular styles with certain individuals. There is evidence that those who view the social world using a structure similar to that of the interpersonal circle report fewer interpersonal problems and higher levels of satisfaction with life, self-confidence, and self-liking.

Complementarity

The powerful theory that arose from the Interpersonal Circle is complementarity. Complementarity is the idea that individuals interact in a manner that elicits a restricted class of behaviors (e.g., dominance requests submission and friendliness invites similar behaviors) and you have the choice to either act in a complementary fashion or not. 

The degree to which another individual complements those behaviors has some predictive utility for measuring how well the relationship will go. The deliberate choice to complement or not is called Complementarity.

The theory suggests that certain behaviors “pull” particular responses from the other person. Being friendly generally elicits friendliness from the other person. Complementary behaviors on the friendliness (affiliation) axis generally indicate better communication and mutual liking. 

If you as a student approach a colleague or a professor in a friendly manner, you are more likely to get a friendly response. If a faculty member is friendly in your exchange and you respond in a chilly manner (maybe you had a bad day or you are unhappy with the professor), the (anticomplementary) interaction will probably be uncomfortable and set a negative tone.

Another example of complementarity could be that your professor treats his students in a dominant manner. This dominance sends the message that the professor sees himself as having power and that he expects his students to submit to his behaviors. If you understand this dynamic and view his interpersonal behavior in this manner, you can make a deliberate choice to complement this behavior or not complement this behavior.

In this case, complementing would mean that you validate the professor’s interpersonal message by being more deferent. Not complementing might mean responding in an assured manner by communicating that you have opinions or knowledge about the topic, work, etc. and you will not merely submit to the professor’s interpersonal message. 

Neither response is inherently bad, but each response above carries consequences with it. If you submit, you may not have your voice heard or you may not have important decisions go the way you’d like.  Implying to this professor that you consider yourself to be on the same level as they are may not go well.

However, if you do not submit, it might lead to a power struggle with your professor, which is never an ideal situation for any graduate student. The point is to recognize the interpersonal messages people send and to make deliberate decisions about when to complement those messages and when not to do so.

Be aware: if you are redefining your interpersonal approach with an individual who is used to you acting in a particular manner, there might be a period of discomfort, or even backlash, as they adjust to your new way of conducting yourself. Although the time of adjustment is often uncomfortable, it is quite normal. Stick with it, if that is your preferred path.

Consider the example of a professor who spouts orders, asserts himself as dominating, and expects his students to be subservient. He considers his research assistants to be personal assistants and sends them on personal errands and expects them to be available at all hours of the day and night.

Which graduate student response would be complementary to his behavior?

• A. Submitting by way of obeying all orders and never asserting yourself.
• B. Responding in an assured manner by communicating that you have opinions, knowledge, and boundaries, and you will not merely submit to the professor’s interpersonal message.

Complementarity occurs when individuals interact in a manner that elicits a restricted class of behaviors (e.g., dominance requests submission and friendliness invites similar behaviors) and you have the choice to either act in a complementary fashion or not.

Interesting question for you: What if this professor is a woman? Would you have a different emotional reaction? We are all socialized to have gender role expectations. Therefore, it would not be surprising to be even more critical of a woman with a dominant interaction style.

Think of someone with whom you have trouble communicating. Once you have that person in mind, use the interpersonal circle to identify that individual’s interpersonal communication style. 

How would you choose to complement or not complement their style? Is there anything you want to change about how you would approach your communication with that person? How does the model help you think about this?

Marissa works in a lab with three labmates. One labmate, Liang, treats Marissa as if she were the lab mom. He asks her to order supplies, to clean up, to order lunch for the group during working meetings, etc. 

Marissa usually complies with Liang’s requests. That is, she usually complements Liang’s dominant interpersonal communication style with a submissive interpersonal communication style. 

However, she wants very badly to change her dynamic with Liang so he stops bossing her around. The following interaction is one in which Marissa deliberately chooses not to complement Liang’s interpersonal style in order to change their interpersonal dynamic. 

Remember, when thinking interpersonally, the way in which you deliver the message through nonverbals and the words you choose are equally if not more important than the content of the discussion. Let’s see how Marissa does.

LIANG: [walking up to Marissa, while she’s working] Marissa, we are out of toner and paper and I need to print these results. Can you go to the department secretary and see if they have some we can use and then order more. [Liang’s interpersonal communication style is best defined as dominant: he is making demands and bossing Marissa around]

MARISSA: [continuing to work] Sorry, Liang, I’m busy. You’re going to have to go yourself. [now making eye contact with Liang]. Also, I think it’s time someone else in the lab besides me orders supplies. If you need help figuring it out, I am happy to help, but I’m relieving myself of the responsibility of ordering things for everyone. I have a lot of work to do before I graduate and I’ve done my fair share—it’s someone else’s turn. [Marissa’s interpersonal communication style here is assured].

LIANG: [caught off guard and looking perplexed] What is this? Are you upset because I didn’t say “please” and “thank you”? [Liang meets Marissa’s assured interpersonal message with a stronger form of dominance]

MARISSA: [stopping what she’s doing, turning to face Liang and deliberately using a calm voice that does not convey hostility]. Liang, a “please” or a “thank you” would have been nice, but this isn’t a reaction in the moment. I’ve given it some thought and I have decided it’s time someone else takes care of ordering things around here. [Marissa continues to use an Assured interpersonal communication style and stays on message]

LIANG: [now clearly frustrated] We’ll see how this goes. I don’t have time for this [Liang walks away]

MARISSA: I don’t either, Liang. That’s the point.

Let’s debrief:

Marissa deliberately chose to not complement Liang’s dominant interpersonal communication style, both in the words she chose (e.g., I have decided it’s time someone else takes care of ordering things around here.) and the nonverbals she conveyed (e.g., making eye contact instead of staring down at her work). 

In the face of Liang’s persistence in expecting that she did what he wanted, Marissa stuck to her message while also communicating that she wasn’t looking for a hostile confrontation.

There are some elements of this interaction that would likely play out in most similar situations:

• When people send an interpersonal message that is not validated by the other person, they usually try to send the message again, only this time with more intensity. Liang did this by becoming even more dominant and attacking Marissa on an interpersonal level, when he said, “is this because you didn’t get a “please” or “thank you”?
• When Liang began to send a stronger dominant message, Marissa likely felt uncomfortable. When faced with this type of discomfort, most people give up and return to submissiveness or, conversely, they meet the other person’s attempt at dominance with hostility or a dominant message of their own—essentially, they tell the person, “you are not in charge,” but they do so in a hostile or confrontational way. Marissa anticipates this and stays on message while also communicating that she is not looking for a hostile confrontation.
• Marissa was also very effective at keeping the interaction in the “here and now” instead of talking about past incidents.
• Marissa also used “I” statements such as “I can’t do this” and “I’ve made a decision.” Many people unintentionally sabotage their interaction by putting things on other people by making statements like, “you’re bossy” or “you just want to boss me around.” These types of accusations are almost impossible to prove in the moment and usually turn into an argument. By avoiding these types of statements, Marissa avoids a whole other area of interaction that would most likely turn into an argument.

Carson, R. C. (1969). Interaction concepts of personality . Chicago: Aldine Publishing Co.

Cheng, C., Wang, F., & Golden, D. L. (2011). Unpacking cultural differences in interpersonal flexibility: Role of culture-related personality and situational factors. Journal of Cross-Cultural Psychology, 42 (3), 425-444. https://doi.org/10.1177/0022022110362755

Fan, H., & Han, B. (2018). How does leader‐follower fit or misfit in communication style matter for work outcomes? Social Behavior and Personality, 46 (7), 1083–1100. https://doi.org/10.2224/sbp.6925

Gifford, R. (1991). Mapping nonverbal behavior on the Interpersonal Circle. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 61 (2), 279–288. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.61.2.279

Graham, K., Mawritz, M., Dust, S., Greenbaum, R., & Ziegert, J. (2019). Too many cooks in the kitchen: The effects of dominance incompatibility on relationship conflict and subsequent abusive supervision. The Leadership Quarterly, 30( 3), 351–364. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.leaqua.2018.12.003

Kiesler, D. (1983). The 1982 Interpersonal Circle: A taxonomy for complementarity in human transactions. Psychological Review, 90 (3), 185–214. https://doi.org/10.1037/0033-295X.90.3.185

Kurzius, E., Borkenau, P., & Leising, D. (2021). Spontaneous interpersonal complementarity in the lab: A multilevel approach to modeling the antecedents and consequences of people’s interpersonal behaviors and their dynamic interplay. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology , Advance Online Publication. http://dx.doi.org.ezproxy1.lib.asu.edu/10.1037/pspi0000347

Leary, T. (1957). Interpersonal diagnosis of personality. New York: John Wiley & Sons

Locke, K. (2019). Development and validation of a circumplex measure of the interpersonal culture in work teams and organizations. Frontiers in Psychology, 10 , 850–850. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2019.00850  

Mainhard, T., Van Der Rijst, R., Van Tartwijk, J., & Wubbels, T. (2009). A model for the supervisor-doctoral student relationship. Higher Education, 58 (3), 359–373. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10734-009-9199-8  

Markey, P., Lowmaster, S., & Eichler, W. (2010). A real‐time assessment of interpersonal complementarity. Personal Relationships, 17 (1), 13-25. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1475-6811.2010.01249.x  

Moskowitz, D. S., Ho, M. R., & Turcotte-Tremblay, A.-M. (2007). Contextual influences on interpersonal complementarity. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 33( 8), 1051–1063. https://doi.org/10.1177/0146167207303024

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On Speaking Up: A Conference Experience

Confronting a male colleague with contradictory findings at a conference.

Stubbornness and Tenacity

Highlights the obstacles faced when trying to have research reviewed by the advisor and emphasizes the steps necessary to make adequate progress in the program.

Critical Mass

Captures the annoyance of male colleagues making sexist assumptions and the challenges with conference travel as a female graduate student.

Persuading an Advisor

Suggestions for defining research.

I Have Not Figured Out How to Say "No"

Emphasizes the challenge with saying no, but the importance of learning to do so.

Asserting Yourself in the Face of Authority

The importance of standing up for yourself.

Paths of Family Planning and Different Options Along the Way

How a flexible schedule as a professor made it possible to have a family and a career.

Proactive Approach and Adapting Environments

How to adapt experimental methods to match a lifestyle.

An Arizona State University project, supported by the National Science Foundation under grants 0634519, 0910384 and 1761278

Any opinions, findings, and conclusions or recommendations expressed in this material are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the views of the National Science Foundation. © 2021  Career WISE. All rights reserved. Privacy | Legal

Problem Solving and Communication

Common sense tells us that problem resolution is heavily dependent upon communication.  The communication structure used to address and resolve the problem is important.  Here are a few points you may want to consider.

Leaders will often use a centralized communication structure in order to establish group norms.  This is particularly true for newly formed groups.  Researchers have described centralized communication as either a chain or a “Y” with the leader exerting strict control over which group members get what information.  In contrast, a decentralized communication structure has been described as a circle which gives every individual in the group access to all other group members.

Both centralized and decentralized communication structures are well suited to resolving a specific type of problem.  Centralized communication structures allow the group to spend less time initially on preliminary organization processes and decisions are usually reached quickly.  On the other hand, groups utilizing a decentralized communication structure will often take more time to get organized. Once a group using a decentralized structure gets organized, it can usually work as efficiently as a group in a centralized structure.

Research has shown that there are important differences between centralized and decentralized communication structures.  Within centralized structures, the individual occupying the center position tends to become the leader regardless of whether or not that person has the necessary qualifications.  That individual is in the position of receiving all the communications and has all the information needed to make decisions.  Leadership in decentralized structures, on the contrary, usually is bestowed upon the member with the best qualifications.  Information is shared with the group members so that all the information needed to make the decision is known.

Centralized structured groups have been found to be less flexible than decentralized structured groups and are best suited to solving simple problems, especially when time is of the essence and the quality of the decision is not of prime importance.  Groups utilizing a decentralized communication structure tend to rely upon the expertise of all its members so the quality of their decisions tends to be higher.

Researchers have also found a difference in the group morale between groups using a centralized communication structure and those utilizing a decentralized structure.  Research has shown that a member’s morale is directly related to how valuable that member feels.  The farther from the center point in a centralized structure a member is, the lower the member’s morale.  In contrast, the members of a group using a decentralized structure tend to have the same morale.  The morale in the latter group is dependent more on the nature of the assigned task and its importance, rather than the individual’s position within the group.

Depending upon the urgency of the problem and the need for quality decisions, leaders will need to weigh the pros and cons of both communication structures.  Both have advantages and disadvantages.  Weigh them both and select the style best suited to the particular problem being addressed.

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If this position requires driving or the use of a vehicle as an essential function of the job to conduct State business, then the following requirements apply: Driver’s License Requirements

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