applied science personal statement examples

How To Write A Personal Statement For Masters (17 PDF Sample Examples)

Published: 14 Mar 2022 Study Abroad 108,619 views

A personal statement for masters program is one of the most important parts of your college application and writing a good one is what’s the exception between receiving an offer and being rejected.

If you’ve been tasked with presenting a personal statement, you should keep in mind that whatever you submit must put you forward as the right candidate for the course. Additionally, it should convince the admissions officers that you deserve a place on your program of study.

Achieving the above, is a skill most postgraduate students are yet to acquire but thankfully this article on How To Write A Personal Statement For Masters covers everything you need to know on doing this.

In this article you’ll learn:

• What is a personal statement?
• Tips for making your personal statement for masters stand out
• How to write a personal statement for masters
• Personal statement for masters sample
• Examples of personal statement for masters
• Conclusion – things to avoid when writing a personal statement for masters

Read:  Admission Interview Tips .

What Is a Personal Statement?

A personal statement AKA admissions or application essay or statement of purpose is a type of essay or written statement a candidate presents to a college, university, or graduate school they are applying to, explaining why they want to attend that school, study a particular course, and why they would be a perfect fit for these things.

A personal statement for masters is an essay you submit specifically for your postgraduate application. Writing one presents the opportunity for you to promote yourself to a school and show the admissions teachers that you are the perfect candidate for a course.

Tips For Making Your Personal Statement For Masters Stand Out

Before we get into how you should write a statement of purpose for masters, we would first like to share with you certain tips to include in your essay to make it stand out from that of other applicants and be convincing enough to any admissions officer that reads it. The tips we have mentioned here, cover general things like starting and ending your personal statement, timing, length, and what to include and what not to include in the essay, etc.

1. Starting And Ending A Personal Statement

When starting a personal statement, you would want to right off the bat grab the reader’s attention. To do this, start the statement by writing about your degree of choice, next why you want to study it and then how you got interested in it.

The next 2 sentences after that should cover a summary of your background in the chosen field, and you conclude by saying what you plan to do once you acquire your graduate degree.

Also start with that the evaluators reading want to hear first, then every other information should come second. You will notice we’ve used in the sop examples for masters we will share with you later in this article.

2. Plan Ahead

A personal statement is not something you rush while writing, which means if you want to get something good before you application then you must start to decide things like the length and how long it should take to complete.

Let us throw more light on this…

For length, a personal statement should be brief ranging somewhere between 500 -700 words, although schools often detect how long it should be. So, this is dependent on the institution you are applying to.

In terms of what to say in a statement, you could include personal experiences like why you were driven to apply for the program, an experience you had with a scholar in your chosen discipline, a course you took that inspired you to pursue masters, or a key moment during your studies which further motivated you.

No matter what you decide to write, just keep in mind that you need to take your time to craft something good even if it means creating several drafts before the real thing and do not forget to proofread the statement for errors.

3. Research Your Program Of Study

Researching your program of study is one way to establish that you truly understand the discipline you’re getting into and prove to the admissions officer that you thoroughly thought about it before applying.

And because you want to put yourself forward as a serious candidate, one way to make you research easier is for you to visit the website of the department you are applying to. This page will contain information about faculty members, their specialisation, and publications.

From the intel, you gathered there you can now identify which professors match your interests and which ones you will benefit the most from learning under. After you’ve found this out, relate the same in a sentence or two in your statement of purpose for masters.

Example: “I would be honoured to study under the tutelage of Professor Nadia whose work I found resonated strongly with my beliefs and intended projects in this course”.

4. Avoid Clichés, Junks, And Many Details

When writing a statement of purpose for master degree try to avoid clichés, junks, and unnecessary details so that you don’t lose or bore your readers in between. Be as concise as possible, even if it’s your chance to express yourself.

A personal statement is an opportunity for the admissions committee to get information that tells the that you are suitable for the course. So, when you overpower your statement with too many words, stories, and useless details, you come off as someone who is just trying to meet the word count.

5. Include Your Personal History Only If It Adds To The Statement

Do not include your personal history in your statement of intent for masters if it is not relevant to your purpose of study. This means no need for you to tell that story about that time you helped someone treat a cut and immediately realised that you wanted to be a doctor or nurse or how you developed a taste for reading at a very young age.

We can guarantee you that the hundreds of other applications competing for the same spot you are felt the same way, so saying those things really doesn’t make you unique.

On the other hand, if you are going to add personal history to your statement, you can put in things like an internship you did and the experience you got from the job, a major research project you ran by yourself, publications you’ve read or published, conferences you’ve attended or presentations you’ve done. These experiences are more concrete and are directly related to your program of study. They also set you apart from other applicants.

6. Don't Use The Same Personal Statement For All Your Applications

One common mistake applicant make that you shouldn’t is using the same statement of purpose for master degree for all your applications. Using the same information repeatedly even if you are going to change the university names is risky and could land you in a big mistake on a day you forget to be thorough.

All programmes have their own unique set of questions they want to see answered and information they need in your personal statement.

And even if some of them like extracurricular activities, proposal for project, why you are applying to the school, your unique qualities, and research works you’re doing might appear the same, do not use one statement to respond to all of them.

Write a new unique personal statement every time you want to apply.

Check out:  How to Write a Good CV for Students - Resume Examples for Students (PDF).

How To Write A Personal Statement for Masters

When writing a personal statement for masters there are several steps and ground rules you need to follow to ensure that it comes out good enough to impress the admissions team of a school, and ultimately convince them to give you a spot on your program of study.

If writing one is something you are currently struggling with and can’t seem to get down the process of it right no matter what, this section on how to write a personal statement for masters, discusses in detail everything you need to get help with yours.

There are 4 parts to consider when writing your personal statement and we have listed them below:

1. Planning A Personal Statement

A personal statement is a piece of writing showing your academic interests and is only for application purposes which means there is no room for any autobiographical information in it about your personal life. Be as to-the-point as possible when writing it and stick to telling the school why you are the right person for the course, plus any other extra information detailing your achievements.

Before You Start:

Allot plenty of time to write your msc personal statement so that you don’t rush it. Remember, this simple piece of writing is your one shot at convincing a school that you are the best applicant they’ve seen and as such can either make or break your application.

Read the information expected of you from the university, rules and guidelines given, selection criteria and understand what they mean. Also research the institution.

Do a thorough research on the course you are applying for; this will help you explain better why you want to study it. The tutors interviewing you can tell when you are lying and presenting yourself as uninformed can cost you the admission.

Ensure that you don’t use the same personal statement for all your applications.

When Writing:

When writing the statement there are some questions to ask yourself that can help you plan it better. Those questions are:

• Why you want to study a master’s and how does it benefit you in future?
• How does the course you have chosen fit into your pre-existing skill set?
• How do you stand out from the crowd as an applicant - e.g., work experiences you’ve had in the same field you are applying for?
• What do you aspire to do or be as a future career and how will the course help you achieve that?
• How can your work or skillsets contribute positively to the department/ university you are applying to, or society at large?

On the other hand, if you are applying for the masters to change from the field you studied in your undergraduate to another field, you should tell the school why you decided to take a different path in your studies.

Questions to ask yourself for this include:

• Your reason for deciding to change your discipline.
• How your undergraduate degree will be material for bringing fresh insights into your masters course.
• How changing your study path will help you attain your future career.

2. Structuring A Personal Statement

Having good structure for your personal statement for master degree is important because it ensures that everything from the beginning, middle, and ending of the statement is written and equally falls in place perfectly.

We’ve left some tips for you below to help you:

Start your personal statement with an attention-grabbing introduction that is not dramatic or cliché. That means you should not begin with any of these over-used phrases we’ve listed out below:

For as long as I remember…

Since my childhood…

I want to apply to this course because I’ve always felt a strong connection to it…

All my life, I have always loved…

My interest in (course) always ran deeper than…

I’ve always been zealous about…

Ever since I was a child, I’ve always wanted to pursue a career in…

My past educational experiences have always…

You would want to be as snappy as possible with your opening because the admission officer has over a hundred applications to read and can’t waste all their time on yours. This means you should avoid overpowering it with unnecessary facts, quotes, and stories from your life.

The middle part of your ma personal statement is where the main content of the write-up should be. This is where you show your dedication to the course you’ve chosen, what motivated you to choose it, and why you are the right candidate for it.

When writing the middle part of a graduate personal statement, you should:  

• Give concrete reasons why you want to study a course at the University. The reason could be because of how the course is aligned to your future career or the University’s reputation in teaching that program.
• Mention relevant things like projects, dissertations, or essays you’ve done, and any work experience you have.
• Show proof of your core skills like and how they can contribute to the department.
• Prove what makes you a unique candidate.
• Discuss who your main influences for wanting to study the course are and why.
• Add experiences like memberships to clubs that are related to your field, papers you’ve written before, awards, scholarships, or prizes.
• Draw focus to how the course links to your past and future.
• Mention your academic and non-academic skills and how they fit the course.

For Formatting:

• Keep the statement length between 250 -500 words or as directed by the school.
• Sentences should be no more than 25-30 words.
• Use headings to break up the content – Why this university? Why this subject? Etc.
• Make claims and provide evidence to back each of them up. This can be done by discussing your work experience and academic interests.

Language and tone to use:     

• The tone for your masters application personal statement should be positive and enthusiastic, to show you eagerness to learn and so that you convince the evaluators that you have what it takes to succeed.
• Use exciting and refreshing language, and an engaging opening line.
• Ensure you grammar, punctuations, and spellings are accurate.
• Avoid exaggerated claims you cannot backup.
• Don’t use cliché generic terms and keep your focus on the course.

Keep the ending of your essay for master degree application concise and memorable, leaving no doubt in the admission officers mind that you deserve a spot on the program.

To create the best ending summarise all your key points without dragging it our or repeating yourself. The ending should be simple, end on a positive note and make it clear that the school will be lucky to have you on their program.

Personal Statement for Masters Sample

In this section, we have left a masters personal statement example for you, which you can use as material to write yours for any course of study you are applying to a school for.

Personal Statement PDF

You can also download this statement of purpose sample for masters degree pdf here and take your time to read it later – Personal Statement For Masters Sample .

See Also:  Student CV Template .

Examples of Personal Statement for Masters

We have taken the time to source for some of the best postgraduate personal statement examples, which you can use in addition to the personal statement for masters program example as a template to write yours.

While you scroll through our list, you will find the perfect masters essay example for any field you wish to apply for, from business administration, to Psychology, to information technology, and lots more.

1. msw personal statement

We have found one of the best msw personal statement examples out there for you.

social work masters personal statement .  

2. personal statement for masters in public health

mph personal statement examples

3. personal statement for masters in management

Personal statement for master degree sample for masters in management .  , 4. personal statement for masters in education example.

personal statement for masters in education example

5. psychology masters personal statement

psychology masters personal statement example

6. sample personal statement for masters in data science data science masters personal statement

7. speech and language therapy personal statement statement of purpose for masters sample: speech and language therapy

8. business administration personal statement personal statement for masters in business administration

9. personal statement for masters in cyber security pdf masters degree personal statement examples for cyber security

10. personal statement for masters in finance msc finance personal statement examples

11. statement of purpose for masters in information technology pdf msc personal statement examples for information technology

12. international development personal statement statement of purpose for masters example

13. msc international business management personal statement international business management personal statement examples

14. computer science masters personal statement

statement of purpose for masters in computer science pdf

15. personal statement for masters in economics statement of purpose sample for masters degree in economics

16. mha personal statement statement of purpose format for masters in health administration    

Conclusion – Things to Avoid When Writing A Personal Statement For Masters When writing a personal statement for university masters, there are some things you should avoid, so that you don’t ruin your essay. We have listed out those things below: •    Avoid negativity. •    Following an online template blindly. •    Do not include unnecessary course modules, personal facts, or extra-curricular activities in your personal statement. •    Do not lie or exaggerate an achievement or event. •    Do not include inspirational quotes to your statement. •    Avoid using clichés, gimmicks, humour, over-used word such as 'passion' or ‘driven’. •    Do not make pleading statements. •    Avoid mentioning key authors or professors in your field without any explanation. •    Avoid using sentences that are too long. •    Avoid flattering the organisation or using patronising terms. •    Do not repeat information in your statement that you have already listed in your application. •    Avoid waffling i.e., writing at length. •    Don’t start writing your personal statement at the last minute.  

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PrepScholar GRE Prep

Gre prep online guides and tips, 3 successful graduate school personal statement examples.

Looking for grad school personal statement examples? Look no further! In this total guide to graduate school personal statement examples, we’ll discuss why you need a personal statement for grad school and what makes a good one. Then we’ll provide three graduate school personal statement samples from our grad school experts. After that, we’ll do a deep dive on one of our personal statement for graduate school examples. Finally, we’ll wrap up with a list of other grad school personal statements you can find online.

Why Do You Need a Personal Statement?

A personal statement is a chance for admissions committees to get to know you: your goals and passions, what you’ll bring to the program, and what you’re hoping to get out of the program.  You need to sell the admissions committee on what makes you a worthwhile applicant. The personal statement is a good chance to highlight significant things about you that don’t appear elsewhere on your application.

A personal statement is slightly different from a statement of purpose (also known as a letter of intent). A statement of purpose/letter of intent tends to be more tightly focused on your academic or professional credentials and your future research and/or professional interests.

While a personal statement also addresses your academic experiences and goals, you have more leeway to be a little more, well, personal. In a personal statement, it’s often appropriate to include information on significant life experiences or challenges that aren’t necessarily directly relevant to your field of interest.

Some programs ask for both a personal statement and a statement of purpose/letter of intent. In this case, the personal statement is likely to be much more tightly focused on your life experience and personality assets while the statement of purpose will focus in much more on your academic/research experiences and goals.

However, there’s not always a hard-and-fast demarcation between a personal statement and a statement of purpose. The two statement types should address a lot of the same themes, especially as relates to your future goals and the valuable assets you bring to the program. Some programs will ask for a personal statement but the prompt will be focused primarily on your research and professional experiences and interests. Some will ask for a statement of purpose but the prompt will be more focused on your general life experiences.

When in doubt, give the program what they are asking for in the prompt and don’t get too hung up on whether they call it a personal statement or statement of purpose. You can always call the admissions office to get more clarification on what they want you to address in your admissions essay.

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What Makes a Good Grad School Personal Statement?

A great graduate school personal statement can come in many forms and styles. However, strong grad school personal statement examples all share the same following elements:

A Clear Narrative

Above all, a good personal statement communicates clear messages about what makes you a strong applicant who is likely to have success in graduate school. So to that extent, think about a couple of key points that you want to communicate about yourself and then drill down on how you can best communicate those points. (Your key points should of course be related to what you can bring to the field and to the program specifically).

You can also decide whether to address things like setbacks or gaps in your application as part of your narrative. Have a low GPA for a couple semesters due to a health issue? Been out of a job for a while taking care of a family member? If you do decide to explain an issue like this, make sure that the overall arc is more about demonstrating positive qualities like resilience and diligence than about providing excuses.

Specific Examples

A great statement of purpose uses specific examples to illustrate its key messages. This can include anecdotes that demonstrate particular traits or even references to scholars and works that have influenced your academic trajectory to show that you are familiar and insightful about the relevant literature in your field.

Just saying “I love plants,” is pretty vague. Describing how you worked in a plant lab during undergrad and then went home and carefully cultivated your own greenhouse where you cross-bred new flower colors by hand is much more specific and vivid, which makes for better evidence.

A strong personal statement will describe why you are a good fit for the program, and why the program is a good fit for you. It’s important to identify specific things about the program that appeal to you, and how you’ll take advantage of those opportunities. It’s also a good idea to talk about specific professors you might be interested in working with. This shows that you are informed about and genuinely invested in the program.

Strong Writing

Even quantitative and science disciplines typically require some writing, so it’s important that your personal statement shows strong writing skills. Make sure that you are communicating clearly and that you don’t have any grammar and spelling errors. It’s helpful to get other people to read your statement and provide feedback. Plan on going through multiple drafts.

Another important thing here is to avoid cliches and gimmicks. Don’t deploy overused phrases and openings like “ever since I was a child.” Don’t structure your statement in a gimmicky way (i.e., writing a faux legal brief about yourself for a law school statement of purpose). The first will make your writing banal; the second is likely to make you stand out in a bad way.

Appropriate Boundaries

While you can be more personal in a personal statement than in a statement of purpose, it’s important to maintain appropriate boundaries in your writing. Don’t overshare anything too personal about relationships, bodily functions, or illegal activities. Similarly, don’t share anything that makes it seem like you may be out of control, unstable, or an otherwise risky investment. The personal statement is not a confessional booth. If you share inappropriately, you may seem like you have bad judgment, which is a huge red flag to admissions committees.

You should also be careful with how you deploy humor and jokes. Your statement doesn’t have to be totally joyless and serious, but bear in mind that the person reading the statement may not have the same sense of humor as you do. When in doubt, err towards the side of being as inoffensive as possible.

Just as being too intimate in your statement can hurt you, it’s also important not to be overly formal or staid. You should be professional, but conversational.

Graduate School Personal Statement Examples

Our graduate school experts have been kind enough to provide some successful grad school personal statement examples. We’ll provide three examples here, along with brief analysis of what makes each one successful.

Sample Personal Statement for Graduate School 1

PDF of Sample Personal Statement 1 – Japanese Studies

For this Japanese Studies master’s degree, the applicant had to provide a statement of purpose outlining her academic goals and experience with Japanese and a separate personal statement describing her personal relationship with Japanese Studies and what led her to pursue a master’s degree.

Here’s what’s successful about this personal statement:

• An attention-grabbing beginning: The applicant begins with the statement that Japanese has never come easily to her and that it’s a brutal language to learn. Seeing as how this is an application for a Japanese Studies program, this is an intriguing beginning that makes the reader want to keep going.
• A compelling narrative: From this attention-grabbing beginning, the applicant builds a well-structured and dramatic narrative tracking her engagement with the Japanese language over time. The clear turning point is her experience studying abroad, leading to a resolution in which she has clarity about her plans. Seeing as how the applicant wants to be a translator of Japanese literature, the tight narrative structure here is a great way to show her writing skills.
• Specific examples that show important traits: The applicant clearly communicates both a deep passion for Japanese through examples of her continued engagement with Japanese and her determination and work ethic by highlighting the challenges she’s faced (and overcome) in her study of the language. This gives the impression that she is an engaged and dedicated student.

Overall, this is a very strong statement both in terms of style and content. It flows well, is memorable, and communicates that the applicant would make the most of the graduate school experience.

Sample Personal Statement for Graduate School 2

PDF of Sample Graduate School Personal Statement 2 – Musical Composition

This personal statement for a Music Composition master’s degree discusses the factors that motivate the applicant to pursue graduate study.

Here’s what works well in this statement:

• The applicant provides two clear reasons motivating the student to pursue graduate study: her experiences with music growing up, and her family’s musical history. She then supports those two reasons with examples and analysis.
• The description of her ancestors’ engagement with music is very compelling and memorable. The applicant paints her own involvement with music as almost inevitable based on her family’s long history with musical pursuits.
• The applicant gives thoughtful analysis of the advantages she has been afforded that have allowed her to study music so extensively. We get the sense that she is insightful and empathetic—qualities that would add greatly to any academic community.

This is a strong, serviceable personal statement. And in truth, given that this for a masters in music composition, other elements of the application (like work samples) are probably the most important.  However, here are two small changes I would make to improve it:

• I would probably to split the massive second paragraph into 2-3 separate paragraphs. I might use one paragraph to orient the reader to the family’s musical history, one paragraph to discuss Giacomo and Antonio, and one paragraph to discuss how the family has influenced the applicant. As it stands, it’s a little unwieldy and the second paragraph doesn’t have a super-clear focus even though it’s all loosely related to the applicant’s family history with music.
• I would also slightly shorten the anecdote about the applicant’s ancestors and expand more on how this family history has motivated the applicant’s interest in music. In what specific ways has her ancestors’ perseverance inspired her? Did she think about them during hard practice sessions? Is she interested in composing music in a style they might have played? More specific examples here would lend greater depth and clarity to the statement.

Sample Personal Statement for Graduate School 3

PDF of Sample Graduate School Personal Statement 3 – Public Health

This is my successful personal statement for Columbia’s Master’s program in Public Health. We’ll do a deep dive on this statement paragraph-by-paragraph in the next section, but I’ll highlight a couple of things that work in this statement here:

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• This statement is clearly organized. Almost every paragraph has a distinct focus and message, and when I move on to a new idea, I move on to a new paragraph with a logical transitions.
• This statement covers a lot of ground in a pretty short space. I discuss my family history, my goals, my educational background, and my professional background. But because the paragraphs are organized and I use specific examples, it doesn’t feel too vague or scattered.
• In addition to including information about my personal motivations, like my family, I also include some analysis about tailoring health interventions with my example of the Zande. This is a good way to show off what kinds of insights I might bring to the program based on my academic background.

Grad School Personal Statement Example: Deep Dive

Now let’s do a deep dive, paragraph-by-paragraph, on one of these sample graduate school personal statements. We’ll use my personal statement that I used when I applied to Columbia’s public health program.

Paragraph One: For twenty-three years, my grandmother (a Veterinarian and an Epidemiologist) ran the Communicable Disease Department of a mid-sized urban public health department. The stories of Grandma Betty doggedly tracking down the named sexual partners of the infected are part of our family lore. Grandma Betty would persuade people to be tested for sexually transmitted diseases, encourage safer sexual practices, document the spread of infection and strive to contain and prevent it. Indeed, due to the large gay population in the city where she worked, Grandma Betty was at the forefront of the AIDS crises, and her analysis contributed greatly towards understanding how the disease was contracted and spread. My grandmother has always been a huge inspiration to me, and the reason why a career in public health was always on my radar.

This is an attention-grabbing opening anecdote that avoids most of the usual cliches about childhood dreams and proclivities. This story also subtly shows that I have a sense of public health history, given the significance of the AIDs crisis for public health as a field.

It’s good that I connect this family history to my own interests. However, if I were to revise this paragraph again, I might cut down on some of the detail because when it comes down to it, this story isn’t really about me. It’s important that even (sparingly used) anecdotes about other people ultimately reveal something about you in a personal statement.

Paragraph Two: Recent years have cemented that interest. In January 2012, my parents adopted my little brother Fred from China. Doctors in America subsequently diagnosed Fred with Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy (DMD). My parents were told that if Fred’s condition had been discovered in China, the (very poor) orphanage in which he spent the first 8+ years of his life would have recognized his DMD as a death sentence and denied him sustenance to hasten his demise.

Here’s another compelling anecdote to help explain my interest in public health. This is an appropriately personal detail for a personal statement—it’s a serious thing about my immediate family, but it doesn’t disclose anything that the admissions committee might find concerning or inappropriate.

If I were to take another pass through this paragraph, the main thing I would change is the last phrase. “Denied him sustenance to hasten his demise” is a little flowery. “Denied him food to hasten his death” is actually more powerful because it’s clearer and more direct.

Paragraph Three: It is not right that some people have access to the best doctors and treatment while others have no medical care. I want to pursue an MPH in Sociomedical Sciences at Columbia because studying social factors in health, with a particular focus on socio-health inequities, will prepare me to address these inequities. The interdisciplinary approach of the program appeals to me greatly as I believe interdisciplinary approaches are the most effective way to develop meaningful solutions to complex problems.

In this paragraph I make a neat and clear transition from discussing what sparked my interest in public health and health equity to what I am interested in about Columbia specifically: the interdisciplinary focus of the program, and how that focus will prepare me to solve complex health problems. This paragraph also serves as a good pivot point to start discussing my academic and professional background.

Paragraph Four: My undergraduate education has prepared me well for my chosen career. Understanding the underlying structure of a group’s culture is essential to successfully communicating with the group. In studying folklore and mythology, I’ve learned how to parse the unspoken structures of folk groups, and how those structures can be used to build bridges of understanding. For example, in a culture where most illnesses are believed to be caused by witchcraft, as is the case for the Zande people of central Africa, any successful health intervention or education program would of necessity take into account their very real belief in witchcraft.

In this paragraph, I link my undergraduate education and the skills I learned there to public health. The (very brief) analysis of tailoring health interventions to the Zande is a good way to show insight and show off the competencies I would bring to the program.

Paragraph Five: I now work in the healthcare industry for one of the largest providers of health benefits in the world. In addition to reigniting my passion for data and quantitative analytics, working for this company has immersed me in the business side of healthcare, a critical component of public health.

This brief paragraph highlights my relevant work experience in the healthcare industry. It also allows me to mention my work with data and quantitative analytics, which isn’t necessarily obvious from my academic background, which was primarily based in the social sciences.

Paragraph Six: I intend to pursue a PhD in order to become an expert in how social factors affect health, particularly as related to gender and sexuality. I intend to pursue a certificate in Sexuality, Sexual Health, and Reproduction. Working together with other experts to create effective interventions across cultures and societies, I want to help transform health landscapes both in America and abroad.

This final paragraph is about my future plans and intentions. Unfortunately, it’s a little disjointed, primarily because I discuss goals of pursuing a PhD before I talk about what certificate I want to pursue within the MPH program! Switching those two sentences and discussing my certificate goals within the MPH and then mentioning my PhD plans would make a lot more sense.

I also start two sentences in a row with “I intend,” which is repetitive.

The final sentence is a little bit generic; I might tailor it to specifically discuss a gender and sexual health issue, since that is the primary area of interest I’ve identified.

This was a successful personal statement; I got into (and attended!) the program. It has strong examples, clear organization, and outlines what interests me about the program (its interdisciplinary focus) and what competencies I would bring (a background in cultural analysis and experience with the business side of healthcare). However, a few slight tweaks would elevate this statement to the next level.

Graduate School Personal Statement Examples You Can Find Online

So you need more samples for your personal statement for graduate school? Examples are everywhere on the internet, but they aren’t all of equal quality.

Most of examples are posted as part of writing guides published online by educational institutions. We’ve rounded up some of the best ones here if you are looking for more personal statement examples for graduate school.

Penn State Personal Statement Examples for Graduate School

This selection of ten short personal statements for graduate school and fellowship programs offers an interesting mix of approaches. Some focus more on personal adversity while others focus more closely on professional work within the field.

The writing in some of these statements is a little dry, and most deploy at least a few cliches. However, these are generally strong, serviceable statements that communicate clearly why the student is interested in the field, their skills and competencies, and what about the specific program appeals to them.

Cal State Sample Graduate School Personal Statements

These are good examples of personal statements for graduate school where students deploy lots of very vivid imagery and illustrative anecdotes of life experiences. There are also helpful comments about what works in each of these essays.

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However, all of these statements are definitely pushing the boundaries of acceptable length, as all are above 1000 and one is almost 1500 words! Many programs limit you to 500 words; if you don’t have a limit, you should try to keep it to two single-spaced pages at most (which is about 1000 words).

University of Chicago Personal Statement for Graduate School Examples

These examples of successful essays to the University of Chicago law school cover a wide range of life experiences and topics. The writing in all is very vivid, and all communicate clear messages about the students’ strengths and competencies.

Note, however, that these are all essays that specifically worked for University of Chicago law school. That does not mean that they would work everywhere. In fact, one major thing to note is that many of these responses, while well-written and vivid, barely address the students’ interest in law school at all! This is something that might not work well for most graduate programs.

Wheaton College Personal Statement for Graduate School Sample 10

This successful essay for law school from a Wheaton College undergraduate does a great job tracking the student’s interest in the law in a compelling and personal way. Wheaton offers other graduate school personal statement examples, but this one offers the most persuasive case for the students’ competencies. The student accomplishes this by using clear, well-elaborated examples, showing strong and vivid writing, and highlighting positive qualities like an interest in justice and empathy without seeming grandiose or out of touch.

Wheaton College Personal Statement for Graduate School Sample 1

Based on the background information provided at the bottom of the essay, this essay was apparently successful for this applicant. However, I’ve actually included this essay because it demonstrates an extremely risky approach. While this personal statement is strikingly written and the story is very memorable, it could definitely communicate the wrong message to some admissions committees. The student’s decision not to report the drill sergeant may read incredibly poorly to some admissions committees. They may wonder if the student’s failure to report the sergeant’s violence will ultimately expose more soldiers-in-training to the same kinds of abuses. This incident perhaps reads especially poorly in light of the fact that the military has such a notable problem with violence against women being covered up and otherwise mishandled

It’s actually hard to get a complete picture of the student’s true motivations from this essay, and what we have might raise real questions about the student’s character to some admissions committees. This student took a risk and it paid off, but it could have just as easily backfired spectacularly.

Key Takeaways: Graduate School Personal Statement Examples

In this guide, we discussed why you need a personal statement and how it differs from a statement of purpose. (It’s more personal!)

We also discussed what you’ll find in a strong sample personal statement for graduate school:

• A clear narrative about the applicant and why they are qualified for graduate study.
• Specific examples to support that narrative.
• Compelling reasons why the applicant and the program are a good fit for each other.
• Strong writing, including clear organization and error-free, cliche-free language.
• Appropriate boundaries—sharing without over-sharing.

Then, we provided three strong graduate school personal statement examples for different fields, along with analysis. We did a deep-dive on the third statement.

Finally, we provided a list of other sample grad school personal statements online.

What’s Next?

Want more advice on writing a personal statement ? See our guide.

Writing a graduate school statement of purpose? See our statement of purpose samples  and a nine-step process for writing the best statement of purpose possible .

If you’re writing a graduate school CV or resume, see our how-to guide to writing a CV , a how-to guide to writing a resume , our list of sample resumes and CVs , resume and CV templates , and a special guide for writing resume objectives .

Need stellar graduate school recommendation letters ? See our guide.

See our 29 tips for successfully applying to graduate school .

Ready to improve your GRE score by 7 points?

Author: Ellen McCammon

Ellen is a public health graduate student and education expert. She has extensive experience mentoring students of all ages to reach their goals and in-depth knowledge on a variety of health topics. View all posts by Ellen McCammon

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Biomedical Sciences: Advice on the Personal Statement

You can also download this page as a pdf document .

Your personal statement is an important part of your application to Oxford. It allows you to tell us about your interests, achievements and ambitions in your own words. Although we do not formally score your statement we read it carefully and use the information it contains as part of our short-listing exercise. If you are invited for interview, the statement is likely to provide a focus for the questions that you are asked. It is therefore essential that your statement is an accurate, unembellished account of your activities. We may check the claims that you make on your statement: discovery of fabricated or exaggerated material – during the admissions exercise, or even later on during your time as a student – may bring into question your suitability to study on the course.

Present yourself in the best light: the same basic facts about yourself (in terms of education, interests, experience), when presented differently, can quite dramatically convey positive or negative messages about you to tutors.

For Biomedical Sciences, whilst your academic record and BMAT performance data will come into play when candidates are being short-listed for interview, time spent in drafting an effective personal statement should also help your overall chances of success. Every detail becomes even more important once you have reached the interviews and are being considered for a place.

DO NOT BE SHY IN DECLARING ANY MITIGATING CIRCUMSTANCES

These may help us to put your achievements or personality within a finer context. We actively look for reasons why you may have under-performed in examinations, or performed well against the odds. These may be factors associated with your schooling, health or domestic circumstances. If you are returning to study after a break, or switching vocation, it is even more important to highlight your reasons for choosing a course at Oxford, and for you to demonstrate your determination, resilience, ability and commitment.

DO NOT SIMPLY RECOUNT EVERYTHING YOU HAVE DONE

We’re looking for quality, not quantity! Remember that large numbers of candidates apply for our courses. Tell us in what ways you will stand out from the crowd. In choosing to talk about an activity, describe what you have drawn from the experience: has it changed you as a person? Did it surprise you?

WE WANT TO LEARN ABOUT YOU AS A PERSON, NOT JUST ABOUT YOUR ACADEMIC QUALIFICATIONS

If you have undertaken extra-curricular activities, or hold positions of responsibility at school, tell us why you sought these, and why they are important to you. You will not impress us by simply recounting that you took up a placement in Thailand, but we might be more appreciative if you tell us what you personally learnt from the experience, about your interaction with local people, and about shadowing the medical team working within your village.

Example: I have become involved with a city music and drama group, and work especially with the younger members. I find this exciting and more than occasionally challenging. Coaching for the group has given me experience in organising others, as well as teaching them. Watching group members learn and progress is thrilling, especially in the case of one of them who has ADHD. At first he was incapable of remaining still, silent or attentive for even a few minutes, but eventually became far more focused and calmer, making excellent progress in many areas.

DIRECTLY ADDRESS OUR SELECTION CRITERIA

• Motivation and capacity for sustained and intense work.

Example: My interest has always been in how the body works in the way it does, and why. This was triggered early on by my mother's cancer, and I felt compelled to find out all about this condition, and what could be done to help treat it. I am thirsty for new knowledge, and am fascinated by the interrelatedness of systems in the human body.

• A strong track record of academic achievement, and particular ability and potential in science and/or mathematics. An excellent record at GCSE (or equivalent).
• Intellectual curiosity and enthusiasm and readiness to cope with the academic demands of the course.

Example: I read beyond the syllabus topics covered at A-level extensively, and decided to research and write an extended essay discussing ethics and science, with particular emphasis on 'living wills'. I enjoyed the challenge and discipline of studying independently, and follow recent developments and debate in this area.

• Reasoning and problem solving ability: use of a logical and critical approach, and strong powers of analysis.
• Communication: Good command of the English language. Ability to express ideas clearly and effectively. Ability to listen.

Example 1: I have worked as a hotel waitress during the summer conference season, which allowed me to develop teamwork skills, and work under various time pressures. It also allowed me to interact with many different members of the public.

Example 2: I took part in my school's open day, and demonstrated experiments in the Chemistry lab. During the last year I have also participated in a reading scheme, helping younger pupils with learning difficulties.

• Ability to generate own ideas and proposals. Originality and creativity of thought, lateral thinking and hypothesis-generation.

YOU WILL NOT BE ALONE IN TRYING TO OPEN WITH AN ATTENTION-GRABBING INTRODUCTION...

If you try this, make sure it helps tutors to learn something about what motivates and enthuses you.

Example: My vast collection of books and videos on "How the Body Works" when I was 7 years old first triggered my interest in the functions of the body. Watching the little personified, cartoon blobs that represented red blood cells run around an animated yet functioning body fascinated me and I longed to find out more. As a result, when a friend received a letter explaining their little girl had just been diagnosed with X at just 14 months old, I was intrigued to find out what this was.

THE STATEMENT IS CALLED  PERSONAL  FOR A REASON

It should be written by you, not by your parents, siblings, or teachers. Do not plagiarise material that you find on the web as there is a great chance that such deception will be discovered.

DO NOT FEEL THAT THERE IS A PRECISE TEMPLATE TO FOLLOW THAT WILL SCORE YOU POINTS

We look for bright and independent thinkers, so try to be original!

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Physical Natural Sciences

Applied in: winter 2013, university offers: cambridge, imperial college, durham, ucl, manchester.

I have always been struck by the notion that "Science is a field that grows continuously with ever expanding frontiers"(John Bardeen) and it is this that drives my desire to learn how to predict and explain the world around me.

In 2012, I undertook work experience at ***, assisting on a macromolecular crystallography beamline. The coalescence of three sciences in this field interests me and I was given the opportunity to be involved in the practical interpretation of problems harnessing a range of scientific specialisms, including mounting protein crystals and analysing the complex structures. This was also my first exposure to superconductors, which intrigue me through the complexity of the quantum BCS theory that underlies the phenomenon and how they represent a meeting of two essential fields of physics: electromagnetism and quantum mechanics. I pursued superconductivity as my A level research brief and it was here that I encountered the inspiring work of John Bardeen, with his emphasis on how "Science is a collaborative effort". I was intrigued how the formation of Cooper pairs could be explained both as an electrostatic attraction, within the classical model, and, via phonon-mediated pairing, as the exchange of a lattice vibration boson between two electrons, in the quantum model.

Having sparked my interest in crystallography, I made contact with ***, through whom I gained insight into the varied practical aspects of this field. This allowed me to be part of a highly collaborative team examining the crystallographic characterisation of ligand-protein interactions. It was challenging and rewarding to operate an interactive modelling program and thereafter interpret electron density maps.

Last summer, I was fortunate to be selected for work experience at ***, where I assisted in experiments using non-active simulants of material on ***, again experiencing the importance of collaboration and the inter-disciplinary nature of the sciences. I was thrilled by the chance to bring together my physical and chemical knowledge as I was tasked with computer designing parts for remote robotic systems, testing the strength and durability of various encapsulation concretes with different chemical structures, monitoring their tensile and compressive strengths and assisting in testing freeze-sampling equipment.

I was one of 20 pupils in the country to be selected to attend the Imperial College Insights Course in 2013. Immersing myself in the world of academia, with lectures and practical work, further solidified my determination to pursue a career in science.

I brought my fascination with the frontiers of physics to the board of my school's scientific society. I organized and hosted an evening dedicated to time travel and persuaded the author Brian Clegg to present a lecture. Wanting to share my passion with others, I began what was intended as a single term of a weekly after-school science club at a local Primary School. I devised and then demonstrated experiments, involving the 8-11 year olds in each and explaining the science behind what they were seeing. Running this club was a great privilege and it proved so popular that I was invited to continue it and have done so. I was awarded a prize for my contribution to extra-curricular science at school and in the wider community.

In my spare time, I have undertaken the Cambridge Online Chemistry Challenge every month for two years and have won the Gold award in the British Physics Olympiad. Outside academia, I enjoy rowing, (I was part of the winning Junior Eight at Marlow Regatta) and playing the guitar and piano.

It is the balance of my interests in and out of school, and the incorporation of science in all that I do, that drives me towards a degree in the subject. I relish the challenge and chance of exploring the widest possible terrain up to the very frontiers of science.

Please note UCAS will detect any form of plagiarism. PSE and its contributors do not take any responsibility for the way in which personal statements are used.

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Successful Personal Statement For Natural Sciences (Biological) At Cambridge

Last Updated: 27th July 2020

Author: Adi Sen

Table of Contents

Welcome to our popular Personal Statement series where we present a successful Personal Statement, and our Oxbridge Tutors provide their feedback on it. 

Today, we are looking through a Biological Natural Sciences applicant’s Personal Statement that helped secure a place at Cambridge University. The Natural Sciences Course at Cambridge offers a wide range of physical and biological science subjects from 16 departments in a unique and demanding course.

Read on to see how this candidate wrote a Personal Statement that navigates the wide range of biological science subjects. 

Here’s a breakdown of the Personal Statement:

SUCCESSFUL?

The universities this candidate applied to were the following:

Enrolling on our Cambridge Natural Sciences comprehensive Programme will give you access to Personal Statement redrafts. 

Your tutor will give you actionable feedback with insider tips on how to improve and make your Personal Statement Oxbridge quality for the best chances of success.  

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Biological Natural Sciences Personal Statement

When Theodore Roszak wrote that nature composes some of her loveliest poems for the microscope and the telescope, I feel he captures the way that science gives us greater understanding of the world in which we live. With this understanding come opportunities to influence the lives we lead. It is my strong interest in science coupled with my inquisitive nature, thirst for knowledge and analytical thinking that compels me to read Natural Sciences. I aspire to work with others at the forefront of scientific knowledge to see how we can apply this knowledge to meet the challenges that unfold in the twenty-first century.

My A level studies have confirmed my interest in a range of scientific areas. After studying cell organelles in biology, I was captivated by reading ‘Power, Sex, Suicide: Mitochondria and the Meaning of Life’ by Nick Lane, delving deeper into the role of mitochondria in cellular function. Continuing to explore beyond the syllabus, reading ‘Genome’ by Matt Ridley and ‘H2O a Biography of Water’ by Philip Ball has fuelled my interest in other areas such as genetics and molecular biology. My enthusiasm for biology was recognised by being awarded the school Year 12 biology prize. In chemistry, exploring carbon nanotubes was exhilarating as I could see that they have enormous potential in diverse applications such as carrying drugs into specific body cells. It was during work experience at a local hospital I saw that scientists provide the tools for doctors and the significance of research in developing new, improved treatments. To explore further the application of science in different contexts, I attended ‘Chemistry in Action’ lectures at the Institute of Education, London.

I was inspired by speaking with scientists at the forefront of research whilst attending the Summer Science Exhibition at the Royal Society. Intrigued by the development of a nanocell to store clean energy using sunlight and that the cell contained porphyrin which is involved in photosynthesis, I realised that studying the structure and function of plants may provide vital information in developing new ways of storing energy. Keen to experiment, it was exciting to make and identify graphene, the first two dimensional atomic material and to explore the potential uses of this strong, transparent and highly conductive material. It is enthralling to consider how these current scientific developments may be applied in the future. Finding great satisfaction in problem solving and thriving on challenge, I have enjoyed studying mathematics, particularly learning new concepts such as calculus. My study of history has enhanced my analytical and essay writing skills. Moreover, it has given me a perspective on the relationship between science and society over the years.

Balancing my extra-curricular activities with my studies has required good time-management. I enjoy playing the piano and a range of sports including netball, tennis and skiing. Playing in the school netball team for the past six years has shown me the value of good teamwork. I have enjoyed volunteering weekly at Strathmore School for children with disabilities and successfully sought permission to organise an Easter Party for them which required initiative, creativity and management skills. Volunteering on the Whitgift Special Needs Activity Project has enhanced my communication and leadership skills and has made me aware of the challenges faced by those with disabilities and their families.

I believe that I have the skills, scientific curiosity and motivation required to learn from, and contribute to, this diverse and challenging course. Studying Natural Sciences will give me the flexibility to explore a wide range of scientific areas and will enable me to develop the skills to work with colleagues at the cutting edge of science.

For more inspiration, take a look through our other successful Personal Statement a nalysis articles:

Successful Personal Statement For Law At Cambridge

Successful personal statement for economics & management at oxford, successful personal statement for natural science (physical) at cambridge, successful personal statement for economics at cambridge, successful personal statement for land economy at cambridge, successful personal statement for chemistry at oxford, successful personal statement for geography at oxford, successful personal statement for classics at oxford, successful personal statement for law at oxford, successful personal statement for classics at cambridge, successful personal statement for engineering at cambridge, successful personal statement for philosophy at cambridge, successful personal statement for veterinary medicine at cambridge, successful personal statement for psychological and behavioural sciences at cambridge, successful personal statement for psychology at oxford, successful personal statement for history at oxford, successful personal statement for physics at oxford, successful personal statement for cambridge mathematics and physics, successful personal statement example for computer science at oxford, successful personal statement for english at cambridge, successful personal statement for oxford english language and literature, successful personal statement for modern languages at oxford, successful personal statement for engineering at oxford, successful personal statement for ppe at oxford, successful personal statement for dentistry at king’s college london, successful personal statement for medicine at cambridge.

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Good Points Of The Personal Statement

Very well-written with a clear introduction, main body, and conclusion. This statement begins by setting the scene as to why Natural Science, and in particular, Biology, is important to both the world and the applicant. The student clearly explains their interest in Biology and then goes on to explain their interest in the other subjects covered as part of the Natural Sciences degree. Many prospective students forget to do this, and in this statement, every point is justified with examples from the student’s personal experiences which adds emphasis to the statement.

Bad Points Of The Personal Statement

At times this reads a bit like a list, and removing a few examples so that they could say more about those left would have produced a more impactful statement which would more adequately fulfil the requirements to show interest, ability, familiarity, ambition, and understanding of the course’s demands.

UniAdmissions Overall Score:

This is an excellent personal statement with a clear and logical structure. The student does not simply list their achievements but provides reasons for their academic interests. 

We’re giving this one 5/5 as it’s clearly a strong statement that made an impact on the admissions tutors reading it. 

And there we have it – a Cambridge Natural Sciences Personal Statement with feedback from our expert tutors. 

Remember, at Cambridge, the Admissions Tutors are often the people who will be teaching you for the next few years, so you need to appeal directly to them.

Check out our Free Personal Statement Resources page for even more successful personal statements and expert guides.

Our expert tutors are on hand to help you craft the perfect Personal Statement for your Cambridge Natural Sciences application.

With our  Cambridge Natural Science Premium Programme, we help you craft the perfect Personal   Statement , achieve a highly competitive NSAA score and teach you how to  Interview effectively.

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A successful biology personal statement

University of Southampton admissions tutor, Dr Malcom East, outlines two key ingredients he would like to see evidenced in your biological sciences statement:

You understand something about the course you’re applying for, with a realistic perception of what it involves.

You’re enthusiastic about the subject and can show some commitment to it. You can demonstrate this by writing about your wider reading, Extended Project, work experience or any other way you have engaged with biological science beyond the syllabus.

Your commitment and appetite for the subject

Admissions tutors at the University of Birmingham are looking out for something you’ve done, or something you think, that conveys your commitment to the subject:

• What topics do you find particularly intriguing?
• Have you done anything interesting or unusual that has involved engaging with the subject beyond the syllabus, or through your extracurricular interests or voluntary work?
• Have you been on an interesting field course or visited a university laboratory and learned something from it?

A paragraph where you explain what you gained from one or two interests or activities like these would be very effective. Remember to explain things in your own words, ensure it has a good structure, and steer clear of poor grammar and spelling.

Cardiff University’s selectors are no different. They want you to demonstrate a commitment, motivation, and determination to further your knowledge in biosciences, along with any experience or other non-academic interests that highlight your personal qualities in general. They also want to see from your statement that you can communicate this in a way that’s concise and coherent.

See our in-depth guide to studying biological sciences for some inspiration.

Conveying your enthusiasm

Dr Devlin also told us all their applicants are invited for interview and 'the personal statement is the basis of that interview'. So he recommends that you write about things you would like them to ask you about.

So if you're fascinated by the machinery of the cell, human health or disease, the natural environment, any other specific aspects of biology, or just the science of living organisms in general, then make sure you include it. By reflecting on one or two of these interests in your statement, you’re likely to make a strong impression.

It’s good to include some non-academic content

Admissions tutors at King’s College London like to see an element in your statement that reflects on your general reading, debating, contributing to school, college or community life, or any cultural or sporting interests, as they are keen for you to continue this at uni and to contribute to the 'vitality of the College community'.

However, if your home or personal circumstances mean it has been difficult to extend your knowledge or experiences outside of school or college, don’t worry. As Cardiff points out, universities will usually be sympathetic to this.

How critical is the personal statement?

If you achieve the required grades and can genuinely demonstrate that you’ve got the necessary enthusiasm and commitment, then you should be in a strong position. Your personal statement, in combination with your academic reference, will be very important for demonstrating those qualities.

If your statement clearly shows you have also applied for a clinical programme like medicine, veterinary science or dentistry, that lack of commitment to biology is likely to be a turn-off to some universities, including University of Bristol. However, others take a different view on that, or may consider a separate statement sent directly to them. Do research this in advance!

According to University of Southampton, it’s if you don’t quite get the grades you need that the personal statement becomes especially critical. If you find yourself in this position, then your statement could turn out to be your lifeline on results day. As Dr East put it: 'If we have a few places left, then the statement will probably determine whether you’re in or out'.

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Personal Statement – Science

Personal Statement

Science has been a passion of mine since a young age. I have always been intrigued and enthusiastic towards science especially the biology aspects. After seeing how the research of science has progressed on in recent years and the fascinating way the human body works itself to keep a person healthy inspired me and makes me want to contribute and to be a part of a community that is always seeing improvements in people. I see myself as being extremely capable as part of this working environment because I believe I am determined, hardworking, passionate and strong minded which are qualities that are needed and that I have demonstrated through my academic years.

Throughout my academic years I feel as though I have gained enough experience to adapt into my chosen course at university, so when starting university in September I wouldn’t waste any time and would be fully ready to get on with the course. For example, studying Applied science at A level has taught skills that would be useful in a biomedical career, for example safety measures and how to deal with situations correctly if accidents occur during research and labs. It has also taught me how to accurately carry out my own experiments and then write up lab reports about the results I obtained. As well as this, I learned how to reference which is essential at university and exam techniques and essay writing skills. Furthermore, it has provided me with a lot of knowledge as I have covered many topics which are all related to a biomedical career e.g. I have covered Biology Chemistry, Physics Maths, Science skills. Studying psychology at A level, has taught me a lot about the biological aspects of how a human works. It has also built on my research skills as I dealt with many case studies that helped me with my own research, which lead to me coming up with my own theories and hypothesis.

As well as this, I have taken part in a six- week first aid course with St John Ambulance, covering a variety of things. I was taught how to treat a person if they are choking, if they have bleeding or bruising and how to treat stings and bites. Then towards the end of the course I was taught harder modules which included: severe bleeding, recovery positions, resuscitation, joint injuries, muscle and bone injuries. This was helpful as many accidents can occur in the field of work I would like to work pursue because there are many practical elements in it including lab work and working with harsh chemicals so if accidents were to occur I have the qualification to help. This also allowed me to develop the skills of working under pressure. This is needed because there will be many times I will be under pressure, but I would not allow it to affect my working ability.

Overall, I believe I am a well-rounded student, as well as academics I have pushed myself to make sure I take part in extracurricular. I have been part of many sporting teams including: netball, football, rugby and rounders’ which shows I am capable of working with other people as part of team. I have taken many leadership roles like sports captain and house captain which shows my confidence and my ability to communicate which is essential in this career. I have won many awards over my academic years suggesting I have good qualities that can be applied to my degree.

Sample Personal Statements

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Writing a Personal Statement

Preparing to Write

Brainstorming, don't forget, sample prompts.

A personal statement is a narrative essay that connects your background, experiences, and goals to the mission, requirements, and desired outcomes of the specific opportunity you are seeking. It is a critical component in the selection process, whether the essay is for a competitive internship, a graduate fellowship, or admittance to a graduate school program. It gives the selection committee the best opportunity to get to know you, how you think and make decisions, ways in which past experiences have been significant or formative, and how you envision your future. Personal statements can be varied in form; some are given a specific prompt, while others are less structured. However, in general a personal statement should answer the following questions:

• Who are you?
• What are your goals?
• How does this specific program/opportunity help you achieve your goals?
• What is in the future?

A personal statement is not:

• A variation of your college admissions essay
• An academic/research paper
• A narrative version of your resume
• A creative writing piece (it can be creative, though)
• An essay about somebody else

Keep in mind that your statement is only a portion of the application and should be written with this in mind. Your entire application package will include some, possibly all, of the materials listed below. You will want to consider what these pieces of the application communicate about you. Your personal statement should aim to tie everything together and fill in or address any gaps. There will likely be some overlap but be sure not to be too repetitive.

• Personal Statement(s)
• Transcripts
• Letters of recommendations
• Sample of written work
• Research proposal

For a quick overview of personal statements, you might begin by watching this "5 Minute Fellowships" video!

If you are writing your first personal statement or working to improve upon an existing personal statement, the video below is a helpful, in-depth resource.

A large portion of your work towards completing a personal statement begins well before your first draft or even an outline. It is incredibly important to be sure you understand all of the rules and regulations around the statement. Things to consider before you begin writing:

• How many prompts? And what are they? It is important to know the basics so you can get your ideas in order. Some programs will require a general statement of interest and a focused supplementary or secondary statement closely aligned with the institution's goals.
• Are there formatting guidelines? Single or double spaced, margins, fonts, text sizes, etc. Our general guideline is to keep it simple.
• How do I submit my statement(s)? If uploading a document we highly suggest using a PDF as it will minimize the chances of accidental changes to formatting. Some programs may event ask you to copy and paste into a text box.
• When do I have to submit my statement(s)? Most are due at the time of application but some programs, especially medical schools, will ask for secondary statements a few months after you apply. In these instances be sure to complete them within two weeks, any longer is an indication that you aren't that interested in the institution.

Below is a second 5 Minute Fellowships video that can help you get started!

Before you start writing, take some time to reflect on your experiences and motivations as they relate to the programs to which you are applying. This will offer you a chance to organize your thoughts which will make the writing process much easier. Below are a list of questions to help you get started:

• What individuals, experiences or events have shaped your interest in this particular field?
• What has influenced your decision to apply to graduate school?
• How does this field align with your interests, strengths, and values?
• What distinguishes you from other applicants?
• What would you bring to this program/profession?
• What has prepared you for graduate study in this field? Consider your classes at Wellesley, research and work experience, including internships, summer jobs and volunteer work.
• Why are you interested in this particular institution or degree program?
• How is this program distinct from others?
• What do you hope to gain?
• What is motivating you to seek an advanced degree now?
• Where do you see yourself headed and how will this degree program help you get there?

For those applying to Medical School, if you need a committee letter for your application and are using the Medical Professions Advisory Committee you have already done a lot of heavy lifting through the 2017-2018 Applicant Information Form . Even if you aren't using MPAC the applicant information form is a great place to start.

Another great place to start is through talking out your ideas. You have a number of options both on and off campus, such as: Career Education advisors and mentors ( you can set up an appointment here ), major advisor, family, friends. If you are applying to a graduate program it is especially important to talk with a faculty member in the field. Remember to take good notes so you can refer to them later.

When you begin writing keep in mind that your essay is one of many in the application pool. This is not to say you should exaggerate your experiences to “stand out” but that you should focus on clear, concise writing. Also keep in mind that the readers are considering you not just as a potential student but a future colleague. Be sure to show them examples and experiences which demonstrate you are ready to begin their program.

It is important to remember that your personal statement will take time and energy to complete, so plan accordingly. Every application and statement should be seen as different from one another, even if they are all the same type of program. Each institution may teach you the same material but their delivery or focus will be slightly different.

In addition, remember:

• Be yourself: You aren’t good at being someone else
• Tragedy is not a requirement, reflection and depth are
• Research the institution or organization
• Proofread, proofread, proofread
• How to have your personal statement reviewed

The prompts below are from actual applications to a several types of programs. As you will notice many of them are VERY general in nature. This is why it is so important to do your research and reflect on your motivations. Although the prompts are similar in nature the resulting statements would be very different depending on the discipline and type of program, as well as your particular background and reasons for wanting to pursue this graduate degree.

• This statement should illustrate your academic background and experiences and explain why you would excel in the Department of Civil and Environmental Engineering (UMass Amherst - M.S. in Civil Engineering).
• Describe your academic and career objectives and how the Yale School of Forestry and Environmental Studies can help you achieve them. Include other considerations that explain why you seek admissions to the Yale School of Forestry and Environmental Studies and your interests in the environmental field (Yale - Master of Environmental Management).  
• Please discuss your academic interests and goals. Include your current professional and research interests, as well as your long-range professional objectives. Please be as specific as possible about how your objectives can be met at Clark and do not exceed 800 words (Clark University - M.A. in International Development and Social Change).
• Write a 500- to 700-word statement that describes your work or research. Discuss how you came to focus on the medium, body of work, or academic area you wish to pursue at the graduate level. Also discuss future directions or goals for your work, and describe how the Master of Fine Arts in Studio (Printmedia) is particularly suited to your professional goals (School of the Art Institute of Chicago - MFA in Studio, Printmaking).
• Your statement should explain why you want to study economics at the graduate level. The statement is particularly important if there is something unusual about your background and preparation that you would like us to know about you (University of Texas at Austin - Ph.D in Economics).
• Your personal goal statement is an important part of the review process for our faculty members as they consider your application. They want to know about your background, work experience, plans for graduate study and professional career, qualifications that make you a strong candidate for the program, and any other relevant information (Indiana University Bloomington - M.S.Ed. in Secondary Education).
• Your autobiographical essay/personal statement is a narrative that outlines significant experiences in your life, including childhood experiences, study and work, your strengths and aspirations in the field of architecture, and why you want to come to the University of Oregon (University of Oregon - Master of Architecture).
• Personal history and diversity statement, in which you describe how your personal background informs your decision to pursue a graduate degree. You may refer to any educational, familial, cultural, economic or social experiences, challenges, community service, outreach activities, residency and citizenship, first-generation college status, or opportunities relevant to your academic journey; how your life experiences contribute to the social, intellectual or cultural diversity within a campus community and your chosen field; or how you might serve educationally underrepresented and underserved segments of society with your graduate education (U.C. Davis - M.A. in Linguistics).
• A Personal Statement specifying your past experiences, reasons for applying, and your areas of interest. It should explain your intellectual and personal goals, why you are interested in pursuing an interdisciplinary degree rather than a more traditional disciplinary one, and how this degree fits into your intellectual and personal future (Rutgers University - Ph.D in Women’s and Gender Studies).
• Your application requires a written statement to uploaded into your application and is a critical component of your application for admission. This is your opportunity to tell us what excites you about the field of library and information science, and what problems you want to help solve in this field. Please also tell us how your prior experiences have prepared you for this next step toward your career goals and how this program will help you achieve them (University of North Carolina Chapel Hill - Master of Science in Library Science).
• After watching the video, please describe what strengths and preferences as a learner you have that will facilitate your success in this innovative curriculum. What challenges in our curriculum do you anticipate and what strategies might you use to address these challenges? (MGH Institute of Health Professions PT - They recently redesigned their curriculum)
• Your personal goal statement should briefly describe how you view the future of the field, what your goals are to be part of that future, and what brought you to pursue an advanced education degree in your chosen field. You may include any other information that you feel might be useful. (Northeastern PT)
• Personal Statement: In 500 words or less, describe a meaningful educational experience that affected your professional goals and growth and explain how it impacted you. The educational experience does not need to be related to this degree. Focus on the educational experience and not why you think you would be a good professional in this field. (Simmons PT)
• Personal Statement (500 word minimum): State your reasons for seeking admission to this program at this institution. Include your professional goals, why you want to pursue a career in this field and how admission to this program will assist you in accomplishing those goals. (Regis College Nursing)
• “Use the space provided to explain why you want to go to this type of program.” (AMCAS)
• Address the following three questions(Though there is no set limit, most statements are 1–2 pages, single-spaced.): What are your reasons for pursuing this degree? Why do you wish to pursue your degree at this institution? How do you intend to leverage your degree in a career of this field? (Boston University MPH)
• Please submit a personal statement/statement of purpose of no more than 500 words for the department/degree of choice. Professional degree essays require a clear understanding of the _______ field and how you hope to work within the field. Be sure to proofread your personal statement carefully for spelling and grammar. In your statement, be sure to address the following: what interests you in the field of _____ what interests you in a specific degree program and department at this institution and what interests you in a particular certificate (if applicable). Please also describe how you hope to use your ________ training to help you achieve your career goals. (Columbia PhD in Public Health - Epidemiology)
• Because each Home Program requires significant original research activities in fulfillment of the requirements for the degree, we are interested in obtaining as much information as possible about your previous research experiences. Those who already have such experience are in a better position to know whether they are truly interested in performing ______ research as part of a graduate program. Please include specific information about your research experience in your Statement of Purpose. You may also use the Statement to amplify your comments about your choice of Home Program(s), and how your past experiences and current interests are related to your choice. Personal Statements should not exceed two pages in length (single spaced). Make sure to set your computer to Western European or other English-language setting. We cannot guarantee the ability to access your statement if it is submitted in other fonts. (Stanford Biosciences PhD)
• Your statement of purpose should describe succinctly your reasons for applying to the Department of ____ at ___ University. It would be helpful to include what you have done to prepare for this degree program. Please describe your research interests, past research experience, future career plans and other details of your background and interests that will allow us to evaluate your ability to thrive in our program. If you have interests that align with a specific faculty member, you may state this in your application. Your statement of purpose should not exceed two pages in length (single spaced). (Stanford Bioengineering PhD)
• Statement of purpose (Up to one page or 1,000 words): Rather than a research proposal, you should provide a statement of purpose. Your statement should be written in English and explain your motivation for applying for the course at this institution and your relevant experience and education. Please provide an indication of the area of your proposed research and supervisor(s) in your statement. This will be assessed for the coherence of the statement; evidence of motivation for and understanding of the proposed area of study; the ability to present a reasoned case in English; and commitment to the subject. (Oxford Inorganic Chemistry - DPhil)

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• Data Science

Data Science Personal Statement in 2024 [Sample & Examples]

Home Blog Data Science Data Science Personal Statement in 2024 [Sample & Examples]

Data science is one of the most popular career options for students, especially those pursuing a Bachelor's degree. It is also one of the most sought-after courses in universities today. If you just want some ideas on how to write a data science personal statement, then this article is for you. Also, if you’re someone who is willing to secure a career in the field of data science, then it is recommended that you pursue Data Science Courses that will enable you to learn all aspects and principles of data science. 

What is a Data Science Personal Statement?

In a nutshell, the personal statement for data science is a document that you write to explain why you are interested in pursuing the subject and what you can bring to the table. It should be written in a way that shows your interest in the subject and why you want to study it. You may want to include information about the following in your data science personal statement.  

• What led up to your decision to pursue this field? 
• Why do data scientists matter? What problems need solving by them? What value do they provide society as well as individuals? 
• How will studying this specific field help prepare you for future careers or additional educational opportunities (e-learning programs, etc.)?

You can also include the following:  

• What are your goals for this degree?  
• How will it benefit you?  
• What do you hope to achieve from studying data science?  
• Why is this field important in today’s society?  
• What are the challenges that you see in this field?  
• How will you address those challenges?  
• What do you think the future of data science is?  
• How do you plan on staying relevant as technologies and trends change?

The Importance of Creating a Data Science Personal Statement

Data science personal statement is a formal document that will be used by the company to evaluate your skills. If you are applying for a Data Science job and want to impress the hiring manager, then you must write a strong data science personal statement.

A good personal statement for a master's in data science must be unique, creative, informative and interesting to read. It should describe not only your skills and experience but also showcase your ability to think critically and creatively.

A well-written data science personal statement will help you stand out from other applicants and make yourself an ideal candidate for the job that you want. Here are some useful tips for writing a strong data science personal statement: 

• Be honest and straightforward in your personal statement. 
• Don’t exaggerate or lie about your skills, experience and achievements. If you don’t have any relevant work experience, then focus on other areas where you can showcase your skills, such as volunteering or community projects. 
• Know the company that you are applying to and tailor your personal statement accordingly. A generic resume won’t help if you are applying for a specific job position. Instead, write a customized letter that shows how well-suited you are for this role. 
• Keep it short and sweet. The best personal statements are between a few hundred to a few thousand words long. Don’t try to cram everything in one big paragraph; break it up into smaller sections that will make it easier for readers to digest. 

So now you might have understood how important data analytics personal statements are. To learn how to create a personal statement, it is recommended that you enroll in the Best Data Science Bootcamps . 

Data Science Personal Statement Sample

I am writing this Data Science Personal Statement for the MS in Data Science program at UC Berkeley. My goal is to explain why I want to pursue a career in data science and how my experience as an undergraduate student has prepared me for graduate school. As you can see from my resume, I have had many opportunities to work with large amounts of data through internships and research projects over the course of my academic career. These experiences have given me valuable insight into how large-scale computational problems can be tackled by applying statistical methods under tight deadlines while still maintaining quality control over your results. 

In addition, I have taken classes such as AI/ML Systems Design & Implementation and Machine Learning Algorithms. These classes have helped me develop new ways of approaching problems while also providing an understanding of why certain algorithms work better than others when applied in specific situations. 

I am a Data Science Major at UC Berkeley and have been for two years. In order to graduate with a major in Data Science, you must complete four required classes, one of which is an independent study project. 

I have chosen to take this independent study project in order to gain hands-on experience with a data science problem of my choosing and to learn how to effectively apply machine learning algorithms in the real world. My goal is to create an application that can accurately predict where students need tutoring based on their past grades. This project will require me to use various classes of statistical models, such as regression, decision trees, and neural networks. 

How to Write a Personal Statement for Masters Programme in Data Science?

If you are looking for the best way to write a sample personal statement for a master in data science, you should follow these steps: 

• Step 1: The first step is to find out what courses are available in your area and how long it takes to complete them. You can find this information on websites online. 
• Step 2: Once you have this information, you need to think about how much time you will have available each day. It is important that you do not leave your studies until you finish all of your courses because once you finish your degree program, there will be no more work available for you. Your ability to continue working will depend upon how well your personal statement for data science courses was received by universities and whether or not they offer scholarships for those who want to study abroad or online. 
• Step 3: In order to write a good personal statement for M.Sc data science, you will need to think about why you want to continue your education after completing your bachelor's degree program. This could be because of what happened during college or because of something else entirely (such as family obligations). If it is something that happened during college, then you will need to explain what that event was and how it has affected your desire to continue your education. If it is something that happened outside of college, then you should talk about how that event impacted your academic performance and why you want to continue studying.

Data Science Personal Statement Example 

Following is a data science personal statement example. You can refer to this data science statement of purpose example and keep in mind the necessary points.

Source: personal-statement-examples.com

Tips to Write an Effective Data Science Personal Statement

The following tips will help you write an effective personal statement for a master in data science: 

1. Use a Template

It's best to use a template that has been created by experienced admissions officers and other professionals in the field. This means you can skip the writing process entirely since they've already done most of it for you. 

2. Keep Your Sentences Short and Simple

Your goal should be no more than one or two paragraphs per section (including your application summary), which means keeping your sentences as short as possible without compromising clarity or coherence. If there are too many adjectives or numbers used in an otherwise simple sentence, try replacing them with action verbs like "ran" instead of "ran fast." 

3. Avoid Clichés

In your data science personal statement sample, instead of saying things like "I am dynamic," try saying something more descriptive such as “I am highly dynamic” instead because this shows off how creative your mind works while also showing off how well-rounded personas are important traits needed by anyone working at companies when writing an M.Sc data science personal statement.  

Do’s and Don’ts While Writing Personal Statement

Data science is a booming field with a lot of opportunities. You can work anywhere and make a good salary with this skill. If you think that it’s not for you, then it’s time to think again. The world has changed and so have our needs as individuals. Data science professionals will be needed in the future because of their role in shaping our lives as we know them today. In order to pursue a career in this broad field of data science, it is recommended that you pursue KnowledgeHut to learn its principal aspects and gain in-depth knowledge about data science personal statement. Data Science Courses to learn its principal aspects and gain in-depth knowledge about data science.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)

Find out what diploma courses are available in your area and how long it takes to complete them. Once you have this information, you need to think about how much time you will have available each day. After evaluating all these things, start writing your personal statement using templates. 

• The reason(s) why you selected this subject(s) 
• Your chosen area of study and how it relates to the current studies 
• Your experiences in relation to your chosen subject(s) 
• What are your interests and responsibilities in relation to the subject you are studying? 
• After university, what's next? 
• A summary of why you will make an excellent student 
• Don’t use quotes 
• Don’t let spelling and grammatical errors spoil your statement. 
• Don’t copy and paste 

During the writing of the letter of intent for the MS in Data Science course, it is important to take into account the basic questions asked by the institution, including what kind of ambitions the prospective candidate has and the inspiration behind those ambitions. If the students do not want to sound conversational in their essays, then they should keep in mind that the tone should be formal instead of informal.

Ashish Gulati

Ashish is a techology consultant with 13+ years of experience and specializes in Data Science, the Python ecosystem and Django, DevOps and automation. He specializes in the design and delivery of key, impactful programs.

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Personal Statement Examples: Singapore Students Admitted to Top UK and US Universities

Personal statements are an essential aspect of each application. It helps demonstrate your academic interests and passion, highlight your relevant experiences, and showcase your unique identity. However, the approach is different for universities in the UK and US and knowing these differences is vital when preparing your personal statement. To guide you, we’ve included several successful personal statements and sought the expertise of Jamie Beaton , CEO of Crimson Education, to review and analyse these essays. Jamie Beaton was accepted into all 25 of the world’s top universities including Harvard, Yale, Stanford, and Cambridge. Read on to discover what makes a strong personal statement!

How important is the personal statement?

The key thing to note with your personal statement is that it’s your chance to convey something else about yourself in your application . It’s an opportunity to sell yourself and connect with the admissions officer that is reading your essay!

If you’re applying to the UK , your personal statement should illustrate your skills and expertise in the chosen field while emphasising your passion and commitment for it . A UK personal statement is typically more academically-focused and universities are primarily interested in your academic achievements and a genuine demonstration of interest in the selected courses.

For the US , your essay should adopt a more personal and introspective angle and highlight areas like your personal growth, intellectual curiosity, and leadership development . Here, there is greater room for storytelling and creativity and it should portray a more holistic view of yourself.

Applications to both countries are made on two separate platforms: UCAS for the UK and Common Application or the university’s own platform for the US. Be sure to check out their respective websites for further information about the personal statement.

The UK personal statement

A good UK personal statement is direct and precise and it should show that the student is well prepared to study in their chosen discipline. Since the UK places a strong emphasis on your academics, try to include examples which are impactful and relevant. Your extracurricular activities, readings, and accomplishments should ideally be relevant to your chosen discipline.

With a 4,000 character limit , it’s important to strategise and remain factual and straightforward. It’s easy to lose focus in your essay as UCAS personal statements are typically open-ended with no prompts provided. As such, refrain from listing all your achievements and activities and instead dive deep into your academic journey.

Successful personal statements from students in Singapore admitted to top UK universities

Uk essay #1.

Undergoing treatment for my impacted maxillary canine tooth gave me a profound appreciation for dentistry. As I was treated by a multi-disciplinary team, I witnessed their skilfulness during each treatment stage, ultimately saving my tooth and relieving my jaw-aches. Gaining an anterior tooth in my dental arch also improved my self-esteem. The relationships I formed with each member of the team were meaningful, and I realised that as a dentist, I too, could improve patients' oral and mental health, developing similar connections.

Inspired to learn more about dentistry, I shadowed Dr. Shahul Hameed, an experienced general dentist. I observed the maintenance of a dental implant - the planning, execution and patient management. Curious to learn more about implant dentistry, I read up on the fundamentals of dental implants; principles of osseointegration and factors that influence the treatment plan, such as the load-bearing capacity of the implant compared to occlusal forces. Fascinated by dental sciences, I attended 'Discover Dentistry', a course by Sheffield University, where I learnt about current research, such as using cultured cells to assess biocompatibility of prostheses, giving me insight into the exciting future of dentistry. This spurred me to do my own research on the oral health status of the elderly living in care facilities globally. Having learnt about their poor oral health, measured using indices like the O'Leary Plaque and DMFT index, it was interesting to discover how this would greatly improve with routine care.

Another memorable experience involved Dr. Shahul extracting a wisdom tooth from a nervous patient. He explained the treatment plan concisely, making clear the possible risks before gaining her consent, in line with GDC principle 3. Upon completing the procedure, he congratulated her, demonstrating genuine care for the patient. Seeking to emulate his empathy and communication skills, I volunteered with Dementia Singapore. One event involved teaching elderly dementia patients to make lanterns using red packets. Overcoming the language barrier between us, I spoke in both English and Tamil, being understanding and displaying a flexible approach to communication. Currently being in National Service, which I will complete in 2025, I learnt how to provide first aid and CPR, improving my effective communication in emergency situations. Furthermore, I researched 'capgras syndrome,' a mental condition causing delusional misidentifications of people, for an arts competition, Destination Imagination. Acting out its symptoms made me more empathetic towards individuals with health conditions.

I also led a data analytics project, using machine learning to predict the virality of YouTube videos. This involved organising meetings and delegating tasks to my team based on their strengths, ensuring our project's progress. Such leadership skills are vital in managing a dental team. Using machine learning prompted me to consider its potential role in dentistry, in predicting the efficacy of treatments using digitally-stored patient data. I am intrigued about how this relates to patient confidentiality and how to balance patient beneficence with patient data protection. Moreover, I honed my manual dexterity skills by playing fingerstyle guitar pieces in my school's guitar ensemble. I also upload guitar covers online, garnering thousands of views. Additionally, I enjoy solving Rubik's cubes and participate in competitions. Recognising patterns during solves improved my focus - and such attention to detail is needed throughout dental procedures, to ensure successful treatments.

Dentistry is a complex field which requires technical skills and qualities like leadership and communication. Being treated by the skilled dental team has instilled in me fervour for wanting to learn more and mirror their expertise in the future.

Why this essay worked

• Personal Experience and Inspiration: This essay immediately captures the reader's attention with a personal anecdote. The candidate's own experience with dental treatment not only sparked their interest in dentistry but also provided a deep, genuine appreciation for the field. This makes their motivation to pursue dentistry feel authentic and compelling. The detailed account of how their treatment improved their self-esteem shows a personal connection and understanding of the impact dentists can have on their patients' lives.
• Demonstrated Commitment and Exploration: The candidate goes beyond expressing interest; they have actively pursued opportunities to learn more about dentistry. Shadowing Dr. Shahul Hameed and attending the 'Discover Dentistry' course at Sheffield University are concrete examples of their proactive approach. They’ve also engaged in self-directed research on oral health among the elderly, demonstrating intellectual curiosity and a commitment to contributing to the field. This level of initiative is precisely what we look for in candidates who will thrive in a rigorous academic environment.
• Broad Skill Set and Reflective Insight: What stands out is the breadth of skills and experiences the candidate brings. From volunteering with dementia patients to leading a data analytics project and playing guitar, they showcase a range of abilities that are valuable in dentistry. The ability to communicate effectively, demonstrate empathy, lead a team, and possess fine motor skills are all essential qualities for a successful dentist. Moreover, the candidate reflects on how each experience has contributed to their personal growth and how these skills are relevant to their future career. This reflection shows maturity and a deep understanding of the multifaceted nature of dentistry.

UK Essay #2

Throughout my upbringing, I have seen the different cultural traditions of the US, UK, and Singapore; it has been captivating to compare the different focal points from US individualism to collectivism in Singapore. I also explored issues faced by Muslims in America while placing first in a writing competition. Societies are critical in either acting as barriers or support mechanisms, and I am intrigued by the interplay between sociology and the world we have collectively crafted.

Living in a variety of cultures, I have found it compelling to understand how we have been shaped by the cultural patterns and social principles in which we have lived. This has inspired me to explore social action theory. This was fascinating to apply to my own life as I have observed how Singaporeans have used their work ethic and collectivist values to promote 'Tiger Parenting'. Intrigued by the difference in parenting methods between Western and Asian cultures, I engaged with the scholarship of Max Weber's concept that we should interpret the lived experiences of others subjectively rather than objectively, prompting me to further explore the world around us.

I completed the 'Social Context of Mental Health' course at the University of Toronto, and gained insights into the interplay between social contexts and their impact on mental health. This has deepened my understanding of how family, infrastructure, and culture are critical to healthcare. Comparing the traditional values that impeded accessibility to healthcare in the collectivist Asian culture and the Western focus on mental health was fascinating.

Subsequently, I read 'The History of Psychiatry in India' by S. Haque Nizamie, where it can be seen that the Atharva-Veda in ancient Vedic India suggested that mental illness might be linked to divine curses, sin, and witchcraft. The establishment of mental hospitals and more humane approaches were influenced by British psychiatry during the early colonial period. I reflected on the delicate balance required to achieve an optimal societal structure that fosters an individual's mental well-being without jeopardising the rich culture that defines communities.

I am working on a research project with a Ph.D. professor to explore gender performance and what it means to 'do' gender in diverse social contexts. Gender roles are critical in shaping identities and social structures with stereotypes also impacting the experiences of social groups; often, the traditional norms and inequalities make social change seem unattainable. I have explored how gender norms are socially constructed and enforced. I applied this to the motorsport industry, which is traditionally dominated by masculine ideals. Perceived gender roles have affected the perception of female racers, thereby shaping their experiences and limiting their opportunities; in other words, there is a complex interaction between societal expectations, gender norms, and individual experiences. I hope to continue contributing to this discourse, and create positive change.

I have worked as part of the corporate communications team in Singapore's largest real estate company, where I have focused on connecting with a specific part of society by developing articles and podcasts for Gen Z. Beyond this, I was a school prefect and mentor during my A Levels, and aimed to support students academically. I am a passionate dancer having won the East England Grand Final Championships, and I was a captain of a dance team for five years.

Sociology uniquely offers insight into the root causes of issues, namely the challenge of inequality, systematic injustice, and the unravelling of social structures. I hope to pave the way for a more equitable future and challenge ingrained norms by studying this degree. To undertake challenges affecting the twenty-first century, one must have a fundamental understanding of sociology; it informs and dictates the world around us, setting the course and boundaries for change.

• Rich Cultural Perspective and Personal Connection: This essay stands out due to the student's rich cultural experiences in the US, UK, and Singapore. The ability to draw comparisons between individualism and collectivism, along with a personal engagement in social issues like Muslim experiences in America, gives a genuine and insightful perspective. This multicultural background provides a strong foundation for studying sociology and demonstrates a deep personal connection to the subject matter.
• Intellectual Curiosity and Academic Engagement: The student's proactive approach to learning is evident through their completion of the 'Social Context of Mental Health' course at the University of Toronto and their independent reading of 'The History of Psychiatry in India.' This shows a clear commitment to understanding complex sociological concepts and their real-world applications. Additionally, their involvement in a research project on gender performance with a Ph.D. professor highlights a high level of academic engagement and a desire to contribute to scholarly discourse.
• Diverse Extracurricular Involvement and Leadership: The student's extracurricular activities, including working in corporate communications, being a school prefect and mentor, and excelling in dance, demonstrate a well-rounded individual with strong leadership skills. These experiences not only showcase their ability to connect with various social groups but also highlight their dedication to supporting others and fostering community. The blend of academic and extracurricular achievements paints a picture of a dynamic and motivated candidate, well-suited for a sociology degree.

UK Essay #3

When my younger brother was born with Sacrococcygeal Teratoma (SCT), I was told that he was born with a “bunny tail” on his bottom. When I saw the teratoma, the fantasy of having a half-bunny, half-human brother quickly faded, but my curiosity grew. In studying Biomedical Sciences, I hope to feed my childhood curiosity by deepening my knowledge of how the body works, and how it fails. I aspire to connect this knowledge to congenital disorders such as SCT having seen the health and self-esteem issues it can cause. This has inspired me to go further in my acquisition of knowledge and its real-world application.

Research suggests SCT arises from the incomplete migration of primordial germ cells from the yolk sac to the gonadal ridges during embryogenesis. Other sources state that SCT may be due to the failure of the Hensen’s node to regress or due to the residual totipotent stem cells from the Hensen’s node. While ultrasound, amniocentesis or chorionic villus sampling can be used to visualise and diagnose congenital disorders, it is difficult to elucidate abnormal gastrulation, for example, as it occurs very early on in pregnancy. This, along with the multifactorial nature of congenital disorders, impedes on the understanding of conditions that manifest during foetal development. It is this ambiguity that compels me to use my Biomedical education to help further the understanding of congenital disorders like SCT.

I decided to investigate the emerging research on the interplay between our microbiome and health in my Extended Essay (EE). Initially, I wanted to explore the topic of the skin microbiome using biological models. It was difficult to replicate the conditions of the human skin microbiome, but these challenges motivated me to be more creative and proactive in my experimental design. For example, I tried to measure the difference in turbidity between L. casei, B. subtilis, and a solution containing both species, to model the relationship between the commensal skin bacteria S. aureus and S. epidermidis. While this trial did not yield conclusive data, I gained valuable knowledge such as learning the aseptic technique, alongside personal growth through discovering the importance of maintaining morale and motivation through failed trials, developing my independence as a scientist. Additionally, through my EE process, I discovered a passion for research and was fascinated by Zhang et al’s study into the role L. acidophilus S-layer proteins play in the inhibition of pathogenic E. coli. Some of the techniques used by Zhang et al to explore this were gel electrophoresis and mass spectrometry, which I had learnt about in my IB biology and chemistry courses. I had previously only associated these techniques with limited applications such as DNA separation and relative atomic mass. To see their use in a sophisticated manner alongside more complex methods was inspiring. I look forward to cultivating my laboratory skills and becoming proficient in conducting research; allowing me to delve deeper into my understanding of the intricacies within the human body.

I am also passionate about fitness and enjoy applying my knowledge of muscle contraction, the cardiac system, and the muscular system to my fitness journey. In October 2023, I competed in my first endurance fitness race, Hyrox, where I was the youngest of 3500 participants. This pushed me to my limits in the best way, as sticking to a strict training plan while doing the IB was challenging, but showed me the value of consistency, hard work, and teamwork. While I appreciate the rigour of science, I also enjoy learning Spanish, playing the piano, and cooking for friends and family. I hope studying Biomedical Sciences not only fuels my interest in understanding our bodies but also enables me to contribute to its broad positive impact on human health.

• Personal Connection and Clear Motivation: This essay excels in establishing a strong personal connection to the field of Biomedical Sciences through the story of the student’s brother born with Sacrococcygeal Teratoma (SCT). The vivid and heartfelt description of the brother's condition and its impact on the family provides a compelling narrative that clearly motivates the student’s interest in congenital disorders. This personal anecdote not only makes the essay relatable but also highlights the student's deep-rooted passion for understanding and addressing health issues.
• Research Experience and Intellectual Curiosity: The student’s detailed account of their Extended Essay (EE) on the microbiome demonstrates a high level of intellectual curiosity and a proactive approach to research. The discussion of experimental design challenges and the use of techniques like gel electrophoresis and mass spectrometry shows a sophisticated understanding of scientific methods. The ability to connect classroom knowledge to real-world applications, despite setbacks, reflects resilience and a genuine enthusiasm for scientific inquiry. This depth of research experience and commitment to learning is highly impressive.
• Well-Roundedness and Diverse Interests: Beyond academic pursuits, the student showcases a well-rounded personality through their passion for fitness, languages, music, and cooking. Competing in the Hyrox endurance race while managing IB studies highlights qualities such as determination, time management, and teamwork. These extracurricular activities illustrate a balanced and dynamic individual who not only excels in scientific endeavours but also values physical health, cultural engagement, and community. This diverse set of interests and skills makes the student a well-rounded candidate, poised to contribute meaningfully to the field of Biomedical Sciences and beyond.

The US personal statement

A strong US personal statement should provide a unique window into the student’s identity and personality . It helps the university understand who the student is holistically through their experiences, goals, and values. Thus, it’s important to include the experiences that reflect your core beliefs and how they have changed you. Reflecting genuinely and writing authentically is key with a US personal statement.

A 650-word limit is typically imposed on US essays, and you will be required to address a specific prompt . Additionally, most competitive universities also require the submission of supplemental essays . They are meant to support your application and give the admissions officer a deeper understanding of you. It’s important to treat the supplemental essay with the same dedication as your personal statement as they can also influence the admission decision. The word limit for the supplemental essays varies by university, typically ranging from a few words to 650 or more words .

Successful personal statements from students in Singapore admitted to top US universities

For the following essays, observe how their approach is different from a UCAS personal statement.

US Essay #1

The sickening smell of chrysanthemums mixed with incense made me nauseous. I stared at the white pearl placed precariously on my great-grandmother's lips, and tried to identify her through her embalmed face.

It was the 31st of July. I was sixteen, and this was my first time at a funeral wake.

It was in an open space, on a windy day, and I felt suffocated.

Leaving the altar, I joined a sea of faces foreign yet so familiar: distant cousins, uncles, relatives that were my age. We shared the same eyes, but I could not remember ever seeing them.

Suddenly, I was startled by joyous sounds. It was unmistakable — someone was laughing. At a funeral? That can't be right. Looking up, I saw my relatives cracking jokes while folding Joss paper. I was bewildered. How could they still laugh in grief? Curious, I joined them.

They were folding gold ingots from Joss paper, spirit currency at Chinese funerals. I, their new recruit, was handed a stack. Following the movements of my relatives, I kept pace. As we folded the Joss paper in unison, my reservations of displaying anything other than grief subsided. I sensed a tinge of sadness from everyone at the table, and realized they were joking around not because of their lack of sensitivity, but rather because of their empathy. We all shared the same grief that threatened to consume us, so why not share the burden?

We put our despondency into those sheets of paper and shaped them into gifts for offering. The jokes and laughter continued as we filled bag after bag with the paper gold ingots, and I found myself joining in their conversation, consoled by the hopeful atmosphere amidst a somber day. As per tradition, we burned the filled bags. I watched the flames of renewal eat up our hours of labor and consume along with it the worst of our sorrow. The dancing flames were laughing at death, stealing the spotlight in the ballad of goodbyes. Despite all the smoke, I could finally breathe better than before.

"Zai jian," I said with a smile when the fire finally died. In Mandarin, zai means 'again' and jian means 'meet'. When put together they express goodbye but simultaneously imply hope of future encounters. I knew that there would be more of such.

The sweet smell of chrysanthemums now reminds me of new beginnings. Just as the funeral wake brought my family closer than ever, I understood from this experience that goodbyes could also allow for new connections. I later found out that the pearl I had seen on my late great-grandmother's lips symbolizes rebirth: just as the oyster goes through a process of transformation to create the pearl, the memories we have made can grow into something beautiful and valuable. Although I did not realize this before, goodbyes were not any indication of the end, but rather a necessary prelude to metamorphosis.

• Engaging and Vivid Narrative: This essay immediately captures attention with its vivid and sensory-rich descriptions, starting with the "sickening smell of chrysanthemums mixed with incense." The detailed portrayal of the funeral wake, from the sight of the embalmed face to the act of folding Joss paper, immerses the reader in the experience. This narrative style not only makes the essay compelling but also showcases the student’s ability to convey complex emotions and scenes effectively.
• Cultural Insight and Personal Growth: The essay offers a deep dive into the student’s cultural heritage, providing a nuanced understanding of Chinese funeral traditions. The student’s initial confusion about laughter at a funeral and their subsequent realisation about empathy and shared grief highlight significant personal growth. This transformation from bewilderment to acceptance and understanding illustrates maturity and a capacity for introspection, which are essential traits for a college applicant.
• Reflective and Symbolic Conclusion: The conclusion of the essay beautifully ties the entire experience together by reflecting on the symbolism of the pearl and the concept of "zai jian." This reflective insight about goodbyes being a prelude to new beginnings and metamorphosis adds depth to the narrative. The student’s ability to find hope and beauty in a traditionally sombre event demonstrates resilience and an optimistic outlook on life, making this essay both memorable and impactful.

US Essay #2

“And the award goes to...”

My eyes were glued to my computer screen, and my heart was pounding in my chest. Could we do it? Did we do it?

“Team Quasar!”

Allow me to tell you a story of the last few months of the year 2020. Those few months would launch me into the endless space of ideas and possibilities.

It was the Singapore Space Challenge 2021. Teams were required to design a lunar rover mission. It was a highly demanding competition that needed a technical understanding of engineering and space, not to mention the incredibly heavy workload of making a 50-page report and 10-minute video within a few months. Space engineering was completely new to me and my team, and the other teams were mostly university students who were experts in the field. Could we really do it? Are we even qualified for this? I was captivated by the possibilities the challenge could open up, but I second-guessed myself over and over again.

“You know what? Let’s do it.”

And so my team and I signed up for the Singapore Space Challenge 2021.

Over the course of the competition, we were stumbling on our feet. We scoured the internet for research reports and videos to learn about space engineering, from the structure of rover wheels to lunar lander modules. We couldn’t come up with anything that satisfied our high expectations for ourselves, though. So my team and I decided to take a step back. We were at a disadvantage because we knew little about engineering. We were only fifteen, after all.

But what if we turned this constraint into an opportunity? Our lack of experience in the field meant that we weren’t restricted by preconceived notions of what should and shouldn’t be. We could take lots of liberties in technicalities. We could sell a creative idea that takes inspiration from nature to demonstrate its conceptual suitability for its task of excavation. So, we went back to the drawing board. We went back and forth with all sorts of ideas until one of us said the word “worm”. Everyone went quiet but our eyes lit up.

We then came up with our award-winning idea: the lunar excavation worm.

We stopped questioning whether something would work without giving it a try, and went crazy with what our worm could do. Turning ice on the Moon to rocket fuel? Sounds fun! Making it do backflips to climb hills? Let’s do it!

The deadline was approaching, and it was time to get serious. We put our strengths of research, designing and writing together to design a full-fledged robotic worm. After 3 weeks of intense work, we submitted our entry with satisfaction, hope, and inspiration.

When the organizers announced that our team won the Women in STEM Award, I jumped from my seat and screamed. Our WhatsApp group flooded with exclamations in capital letters.

I took away so many lessons those few months. I learned that we should never give up on something because we think we’re not good enough. Instead of asking “why”, how about asking “why not”? Instead of undermining our potential by comparing ourselves to others, why not leverage our own talents to create something that is uniquely ours?

Inspired by our achievement, my team and I continued to take part in similar competitions, coming up with various project ideas from biology experiments in space to autonomous delivery systems.

But what could our ideas do if they just stayed on paper? Physically building a rover is certainly no easy feat, but by combining our knowledge and expertise we could learn in college, I believe we could really bring our beloved worm to life. I hope that by continuing to innovate and create, I will be able to make some contribution, no matter how small, to the scientific community, or to the betterment of people’s lives.

• Engaging Storytelling and Clear Passion: This essay immediately grabs attention with the suspenseful opening about winning an award, which draws the reader into the narrative. The detailed recounting of the Singapore Space Challenge 2021 is both engaging and inspirational, showcasing the student’s journey from doubt to triumph. This storytelling approach not only makes the essay memorable but also highlights the student’s ability to overcome challenges and achieve remarkable success through perseverance and creativity.
• Creative Problem-Solving and Teamwork: The student’s description of how their team transformed constraints into opportunities by leveraging their unique perspective is impressive. The innovative idea of the "lunar excavation worm" and the decision to draw inspiration from nature demonstrate a high level of creativity and problem-solving skills. Additionally, the essay emphasises the importance of teamwork, collaboration, and the ability to adapt and think outside the box, which are crucial skills in any field, especially in engineering and science.
• Reflection and Future Aspirations: The reflective insights gained from the competition, such as asking "why not" instead of "why" and leveraging one’s own talents, reveal a mature and growth-oriented mindset. The student’s aspiration to bring their ideas to life and contribute to the scientific community underscores a strong sense of purpose and ambition. This forward-looking perspective, combined with a proven track record of success in challenging environments, makes the student a compelling candidate for any academic program.

US Essay #3

“Nam-myo-ho-renge-kyo”

The chant gave the funeral a more somber tone. As I said my goodbyes to my grandmother, Obaba, and looked back on her life, I took comfort in knowing that the important lessons that she taught me will continue to guide me. I remembered the same soft melodious chant reverberating around Obaba’s prayer room. Just Obaba and I in this haven of peace. I was five years old, sitting attentively on the tatami mat next to her, chanting Lotus Sutra, a Buddhist chant that extols the significance of compassion.

By eight years old, I was accustomed to rising at daybreak, walking through the mist to visit the temple and offer prayers to my ancestors. At ten, clothed in a white robe, I ascended the towering 3,783-foot expanse of Minobu Mountain with my family on a pilgrimage to experience a monk’s daily lifestyle. Obaba started this tradition in 1950; my family has upheld it ever since.

Obviously, at such a young age, I didn’t fully understand the deep significance of these religious practices: reciting morning Sutras, offering prayers, nightly expressions of gratitude to my ancestors, nor the religious talisman I wore. At times, prayers floated above my little head while I dozed off. Other times, I was simply bored. But when Obaba passed away, something changed.

After her death, I felt compelled to explore Buddhism at a deeper level to understand the source of Obaba’s boundless kindness and resilience. In her 101 years, she’d climbed the mountain annually for more than half a century, and now I felt the urge to practice Buddhism. I dove in by reading the classic texts–The Metta Sutta, The Lankavatara Sutra, and The Kalama Sutta. While I understood the meaning of the words, they didn’t reach my heart. It wasn't until I began to do the daily practice that Buddhism began to unveil its revelations.

Slowly, it dawned on me: Buddhism's essence lies in “compassion.” By immersing myself in active practice, I came to recognize Buddhism's role as a hub of social support. Its compassionate teachings played a pivotal role in helping my Obaba navigate the challenges of World War II and cultivate a lifelong spirit of empathy. Obaba was an inspiration to people from all walks of life, and they’d often seek her to pour out their problems. She’d lend a patient ear and offer advice or simply provide a comforting presence. Obaba led a life dedicated to service. She worked on cultivating her inner peace, which enabled her to assist others in their own journey towards inner tranquility. It became clear to me this was the lesson I’d been seeking all along.

Throughout the pandemic, I became increasingly aware of the struggles within the Buddhist community, where many people experienced significant economic hardship. Embracing Obaba's legacy as my guiding spirit, I initiated a video project for the Buddhist community, since in-person gatherings were restricted. Every morning, after cleaning the temple, I arranged my equipment to create relevant content for our community. These videos featured meditation sessions, insightful teachings from revered monks, and highlights of our community's events.

In the beginning, doubt gnawed at me. Would anyone be interested in online sessions? However, as heartfelt comments poured in, my anxieties dissolved, replaced by a determination to provide more for our community. It was, then, that I recognized how compassion for each of the community members is crucial in cultivating a sense of unity. Through this experience, I gleaned the profound importance of extending compassion by harnessing my own skills to uplift my community members during challenging times, including the pandemic–similar to what Obaba did during WWII.

Having said that, I am who I am today because Obaba exemplified what compassion and resilience are. As a result, I hold her as my role model, aspiring to adopt her qualities by becoming an individual who extends compassion and care to others within the community.

• Emotional and Personal Connection: This essay immediately draws the reader in with its heartfelt reflection on the passing of the student's grandmother, Obaba. The vivid descriptions of childhood memories, such as chanting the Lotus Sutra and climbing Minobu Mountain, create a deep emotional connection. The student’s journey from not fully understanding the religious practices to finding profound meaning in them after Obaba’s death demonstrates personal growth and a strong emotional connection to their heritage and family traditions.
• Demonstration of Compassion and Community Engagement: The student’s active engagement in the Buddhist community, especially during the pandemic, is highly commendable. Initiating a video project to support the community highlights the student’s leadership, initiative, and compassion. This act of service not only illustrates their ability to adapt to challenging circumstances but also their commitment to helping others, reflecting the teachings of Buddhism and the legacy of Obaba. The essay effectively shows how the student embodies the values of compassion and resilience learned from their grandmother.
• Cultural Insight and Reflective Growth: The essay provides a rich cultural insight into Buddhist practices and their significance within the student’s life. The detailed account of religious rituals, texts, and the role of Buddhism as a source of social support offers a unique perspective. The student’s reflective growth, from questioning the relevance of these practices to embracing them fully, highlights a mature understanding of their cultural and spiritual identity. This reflective journey, combined with a strong sense of purpose and aspiration to follow in Obaba’s footsteps, makes the essay both inspiring and deeply personal.

US Essay #4

The piercing sound of the school bell marked the end of the day. But I found myself reluctant to exit the classroom. I didn’t want to go home.

While growing up as an only child allowed me to enjoy all the attention focused from my parents, it also meant that I was faced with high expectations. Since they have always worked hard and would often return home late, I felt that cooking dinner was my way of giving back to my family.

Cooking was not easy, and this was especially true of Chinese dishes. While I am no professional, I have improved rapidly over the years. From changing how I slice the pork belly to adapting the proportion of oyster sauce I use, I have always taken satisfaction in refining every detail to optimize the taste of my dishes so that my parents could enjoy a hearty meal after an exhausting day. Cooking was more than a chore - cooking Chinese food and eating it at the round table at the end of the day was my language to connect with my busy parents. I felt I would disappoint them if I messed up the dish.

And so, inevitably, cooking turned out to be the most stressful part of my daily routine. At the end of every school day, the sparks of knowledge acquired would quickly be extinguished by my anxious thoughts of what to cook that night. Walking towards the kitchen, I would notice my pace slowing down. I was worried that even one mistake would completely ruin the dish. And so, I was more careful in the style I tossed the fried rice and was more afraid to experiment with different spices that I infused in my Kung Pao chicken. As the screeching tires signaled the arrival of my parents, I could feel my heart drumming; in a matter of minutes, my food would be judged and critiqued. The pressure of this routine started to smother my enjoyment of cooking.

A couple of years ago, I was asked to cook for my Taoist community for the ‘Birthday of Quan Yin’ festival. I was excited to connect with my community through my cooking skills. I proudly pulled out the wok, threw in the ingredients, and focused on the tempo of sizzling, as the perfect ‘wok hay’ aroma of ‘char kuey teow’ was unleashed into the air. I poured my passion, mastery, and love for my culinary heritage into the dish and forgot about everything else. As I was distributing the food onto plastic plates, I was startled by my mother standing right behind me.

“Smells good, son,” she said. The single sentence wasn’t just any compliment - it expressed emphatic approval after years of fastidious evaluation of my dishes.

Looking back, my self-discipline and perfectionism, which my culture considers as admirable traits, had created fear and pressure in everything I did, preventing me from enjoying my passion for cooking and sharing a meal. I always thought that this was caused by the high expectations set by my parents. From my enjoyable experience of connecting people through my cooking, I realized that all along it was my own expectation of my parents’ approval that fueled me to set ever higher expectations for myself.

While I cannot deny these very expectations are what led me to accomplish things that I thought were not possible athletically or academically, I am now aware that my passion for cooking would have slowly deteriorated if I only focused on the results. And, perhaps most importantly, I consider this experience a great metaphor for other things in life: even if the noodles are too salty or otak-otak slightly overcooked, as long as I pour my passion into it, enjoy myself in the process, and share my joy with the people I love, we will be having a hearty meal.

• Vivid and Relatable Storytelling: This essay captivates the reader with a relatable and vivid narrative. The detailed descriptions of the student’s cooking experiences, from slicing pork belly to tossing fried rice, provide a sensory-rich account that draws the reader in. The progression from cooking as a stressful obligation to a joyful and communal activity is compelling and relatable, highlighting the student's growth and introspection. The story effectively illustrates the challenges and rewards of balancing high expectations with personal enjoyment.
• Cultural and Familial Connection: The essay beautifully intertwines the student’s cultural heritage with their family dynamics. The act of cooking Chinese dishes and sharing meals at the round table serves as a powerful metaphor for connection and communication within the family. Additionally, the mention of cooking for the Taoist community adds depth, showing the student’s engagement with their cultural and religious traditions. This connection to culture and family provides a rich backdrop to the student’s personal journey, making the essay both meaningful and authentic.
• Reflection and Personal Growth: The student’s reflection on the pressures of high expectations and the realisation that these were largely self-imposed is profound. The shift from focusing on results to embracing the process and sharing joy with loved ones demonstrates significant personal growth and maturity. The essay conveys a valuable life lesson about finding balance and passion in one’s pursuits. This introspective quality, combined with the student's ability to articulate their thoughts and feelings, makes the essay insightful and inspiring, showcasing the student’s readiness for future challenges and growth.

US Essay #5

At 6, I really wanted to be a swan. A peculiar profession to most, this impassioned declaration was often met with baffled stares. Luckily, the reality was much more attainable: I wanted to be the White Swan from the classic Swan Lake. Gazing upwards from my booster seat at my first ballet, I grew enamoured by the unparalleled grace of the White Swan. Entranced, I pictured myself in her dainty little shoes floating across the stage. An excitement quelled in my chest–the early embers that would spark into a raging flame. No matter what, I will be the next White Swan.

Fast forward ten years and I can barely do a split! Forget backbends or leaps, I’ve yet to grasp the baseline for flexibility. It appears that as I grow older, I become less like the graceful swan I once aspired to become and more like Big Bird. I lack natural grace and elegance. My hips are stubbornly turned inwards and standing in the basic ‘fifth-position’ hurts my joints. My non-existent stamina deters me from sustaining high jumps through a routine. It seems that my only aptitude in dance is making every move look more laborious than it already is.

All around me I see friends excelling at their passions, boasting shelves of trophies and accolades. Meanwhile, I’m still struggling to attain a ‘distinction’ grade in my ballet exam. Merit grade’s not bad, but not very good either. I’ve watched my ballet classmates covet and achieve solo opportunities, while I remain shrouded in the background of ensemble dancers. I’ve watched them walk out the studio glowing with satisfaction after mastering a move, while I stay back, alone, fumbling with the exact same step.

Somehow, despite the frustration, passion would still drive me to attend every rehearsal, fraying countless ballet-slippers. I’ve gone on painfully restrictive diets all in a bid to achieve the ideal ‘ballerina’ physique. I’ve committed to demanding workout plans to build up my stamina, and dedicated myself to a consistent stretching regimen to increase flexibility. I’ve done all I could, ticked off all the prerequisites for progress, and yet I’ve plateaued in my ballet skills. I’ve trusted the process, but it seems that the process has failed me.

But here’s the thing: I still love ballet. Despite the adversities, I still find myself yearning to slip on my slippers and perform my routines. Invariably, I find myself loving dance.

Maybe it’s because the beauty of passion is the courage to continue even in the face of failure. Through this arduous journey I’ve learned that passion isn’t the brilliant spark of a raging fire, but the muted embers that glow, unwaveringly. It doesn’t matter if I fail to achieve my splits or ‘distinctions,’ because I’ve come to appreciate the gnawing ache in my legs as I leap and pirouette, and respect my ardour in continuing every dance despite mistakes and cramps. Passion isn't the extreme highs and lows of victory; it’s the persistent fight in enduring what we do, for the sake of doing what we love. I don’t enjoy the pain, nor the disappointment, but it’s these factors that are testaments to my depth of passion. Passion does not equate to greatness, but I don’t dance for greatness. I dance for the people. The lessons. The understanding of a beautiful art form.

Now when I watch ballet, I no longer envision myself as the dancer on stage. I’ve stopped dreaming of a career on stage. I no longer proudly showcase my routines to my family. But I haven’t stopped showing up, giving my all, and most importantly, enjoying it. Maybe I’ll never be a white swan, but that’s irrelevant. Because I know that I'll keep dancing for a long time to come. The truth behind doing what we love is that we never stop fighting for it, no matter the cost. Such is the beauty of passion.

• Authenticity and Perseverance: This essay stands out for its authenticity and raw honesty. The student’s journey from a childhood dream of becoming the White Swan to facing the harsh realities of their limitations in ballet is portrayed with genuine emotion. Despite not achieving the lofty goals they set for themselves, the student’s continued dedication to ballet, even in the face of persistent challenges and setbacks, showcases an admirable level of perseverance. This genuine reflection on their experiences highlights the student’s resilience and commitment, making the essay relatable and impactful.
• Deep Understanding of Passion: The student’s evolving understanding of what true passion entails is a central theme that adds depth to the essay. The shift from seeing passion as a path to greatness to recognizing it as the courage to persist despite failure is profound. The student articulates this realisation eloquently, showing a mature perspective on the nature of dedication and love for an art form. This nuanced understanding of passion, illustrated through personal anecdotes and reflections, provides a compelling narrative that resonates with the reader.
• Engaging and Relatable Narrative: The essay is engaging and relatable, filled with vivid descriptions and a touch of humour. The contrast between the student’s initial dreams and the reality of their ballet skills is depicted in a way that is both poignant and endearing. The student’s self-awareness and ability to find joy in the process, rather than the outcome, offer valuable life lessons. This narrative not only captures the reader’s attention but also leaves a lasting impression of the student’s character, making it a memorable and effective personal statement.

Tips on writing effective personal statements

Now that you’ve reviewed several successful personal statements, you may have noticed some recurring themes. Here are a few tips on how to write an impactful personal statement!

1. Start early

You can’t rush a personal statement so start early! This gives you ample time to brainstorm and plan ahead. As it might be intimidating to approach a blank page and begin writing, it’s important to first plan what you intend to write . We suggest using lists and diagrams like mind maps to visualise potential key topics and how they may be connected. Outlining your personal statement before you begin writing helps keep your thoughts organised and ensures a smooth flow.

Your reader already knows the who but what about the why ? If you’re stuck on what to write about, the why is a useful starting point for your brainstorming . Reflect on your unique experiences and values and think about why you intend to study in the chosen discipline. Which experience sparked your interest?

You should also research the specific courses and universities that you are interested in before you begin writing to learn more about their requirements and expectations. Use this to carefully align your narrative with the university’s values. For UK personal statements, try to make it evident that you’ve done your research by highlighting the relevant knowledge, experiences, and qualities that you have in your essay.

2. Practice makes perfect

Crafting an outstanding personal statement requires plenty of practice! Your first draft is unlikely to be perfect so don’t be discouraged by the number of revisions you’ll need.

Start by writing freely and ignoring the word or character limit. Aim to include everything you want to cover in your final draft, and don’t worry if it’s too long as you can refine it later. Nevertheless, always keep the purpose of your personal statement in mind throughout the drafting process to stay on track. If you’re writing a UCAS personal statement, ensure that the reader can clearly understand your expertise and academic goals. For US applications, the reader should understand your unique identity and characteristics better. Keep on practising and editing until your essay's message is clear and impactful!

3. Showcase a reflective nature

Strong personal statements are authentic and reflective . However, while you may have encountered a lot of significant experiences, what happened to the student is often less important than how they processed and understood it . As such, try to reflect deeply on those key moments and ask yourself questions like “how did that event make me a better person” and “how has it changed the way I view myself or the world”. It’s okay to be vulnerable in your essay so be honest in your reflection. It’s important to highlight your journey of personal growth and self-discovery as it can demonstrate your level of maturity and emotional depth.

For UCAS essays, connecting your reflection to what you intend to study is essential . For instance, it could influence your motivation to pursue your chosen discipline or contribute to your knowledge and experience in a subject matter. Ultimately, it should prove your passion and enthusiasm for your chosen discipline.

Expand on your reflection and conclude your essay with an optimistic future outlook. Try to link your experiences and the lessons you’ve learned with your goals and how they’ve prepared you for your future academic and professional pathways. For example, you can elaborate on how your involvement in STEM research has inspired your altruistic aim to advance and benefit humanity. The key here is to highlight your journey and show how your experiences have shaped your future ambitions and actions.

4. Highlight your passion

Especially for US personal statements, letting your passion shine through in your essay is a great way for the admissions officer to understand you better . You need not mention everything you’re passionate about so select one or a few that you can integrate into your narrative. You can even use them to set the tone and foundation for your personal statement.

In the previous essays, notice how these students have cleverly capitalised on their passion to drive their narratives and demonstrate their journey of personal growth. They combine their passion with their life experiences, reflect on the challenges and growth they’ve encountered, and draw connections to meaningful lessons, making their essays memorable and insightful. In fact, highlighting how you’ve changed through your passion offers key insights into your characteristics and mindset!

5. Proofread the final draft

The spelling, grammar, and structure of your essay is crucial so be meticulous when proofreading . While content is important, your writing skills bring the best stories to life. Read your final draft aloud multiple times and see if it flows well. Watch for any awkward phrases, jarring transactions, and grammatical or spelling errors as they can undermine even the strongest essays.

Ask yourself these questions as you read your personal statement: do my ideas connect logically, is my writing engaging and succinct, and are there any segments that can be cut or expanded on? A strong essay should be cohesive with every element seamlessly woven into its narrative - nothing should feel out of place. Also, ensure that you’ve covered all the key points from your initial outline.

Seek feedback from as many people as possible as it’s useful to get external perspectives. Share a copy with a trusted friend, teacher, mentor, or family member, and ask for an impartial review. If the overall narrative isn’t clear, consider revisiting and refining it.

Identifying and overcoming common mistakes

Writing a personal statement is a challenging endeavour and many mistakes can be made during the process. Here are a few common mistakes and how you can avoid them!

1. Overlooking your audience

A common mistake students make is losing sight of their audience. Be mindful of your writing style as it varies depending on the country you’re intending to apply to . For the UCAS personal statement, students often adopt a flowery writing style to tell a story instead of being direct and factual. Remember, the aim of the UCAS personal statement is to highlight your expertise, academic goals, and vision for your time in university. Make sure that every element of your essay is aligned with these areas. 

For the US on the other hand, many students assume that difficult and emotional personal topics make the best essays. However, not all strong personal statements are about hardship. You should only write about such experiences if they are authentic and have shaped your life in some way. It’s essential to genuinely reflect on your life experiences so avoid writing about a topic just for the sake of it.

2. Being redundant

The reader can see your entire application so your personal statement shouldn’t be a reiteration of it . You have a word limit so refrain from listing your accomplishments and grades that are already on your application. It’s your opportunity to show a different aspect of yourself so try to reveal something new. While you still might want to highlight a relevant achievement, don’t just list it in your essay, explain how this experience has impacted you!

3. Coming across as arrogant

Highlighting your unique experiences and strengths is important in your essay but be mindful of your tone . Be humble, the purpose of your essay is not to show that you are the best! There’s always room for improvement so avoid suggesting that you’ve already learned everything about yourself or a subject matter. Instead, try adopting a more forward-looking approach to show how you still strive for self-improvement despite your strengths. There’s always room for improvement!

4. Honesty is the best policy

Lying or exaggerating on your personal statement is a surefire way of setting yourself up for failure . Avoid making unsupported claims or over-exaggerating your accomplishments. If you’re called for an interview, the school may ask you thoroughly about the experiences that you’ve mentioned in your essay. They can also conduct background checks on your references and claims so it’s easy to get caught out in a lie. Your interviewers are likely to be experts themselves who can verify whether your experience is authentic, exaggerated, or false.

Be honest and only write about the things you have experienced . It may be tempting to embellish your personal statement to enhance your attractiveness but no experience is too small - it’s about what you get out of it. Even if you have limited practical experience in your chosen discipline, there are other ways to demonstrate your passion and motivation. Make your enthusiasm clear in your writing by expressing your desire to pursue a career in the specific field. You can talk about how your hobbies are related, the readings you have done, and how you keep up to date with current trends!

5. Focusing too much on storytelling

Many personal statements end up looking like a recount of the student’s personal life story . While some background information provides context to the personal statement, too much of it will dilute your essay’s purpose. If you’re writing for the US, be sure to stay on track and address the prompt that you’ve chosen. A well-organised structure will ensure that your personal statement remains focused. By the end of your essay, the reader should be able to take away some of your unique qualities and experiences, and understand your motivation behind pursuing your chosen discipline.

Recommended Timeline

Making consistent progress with your personal statement is vital. It guarantees ample time to organise and include all essential points, prevent errors, and thoroughly proofread.

Ideally, you want to start brainstorming at least four to six months before the deadline . This stage is meant for you to conduct an in-depth self-assessment, writing down all the points that can contribute to a compelling narrative. Before you can start writing, it's recommended to plan your essay four months before the deadline . Use visual diagrams and figure out which of the earlier points relate to one another. Here, you need to ensure that there is an overarching theme for your essay to remain focused and cohesive. Organise your key points into sections to create a logical structure for your personal statement. Once you’re done with the planning stage, aim to start writing your first draft two to four months before the due date . Focus on capturing the essence of your essay and remember to be authentic, concise, and positive. Lastly, share a copy with your trusted connections one to two months before the deadline, and proofread and make any necessary edits at least one month before! This gives you enough time to polish your essay to perfection before the final submission.

Need support with your personal statement and other aspects of applying to US and UK universities? Our experts are here to guide you through every step of the process. Contact us today for personalised assistance!

Have questions or need help? Connect with Crimson Education for expert advice and tailored support.

Key resources & further reading.

• 10 Great Common App Essay Examples From Accepted Students
• How To Answer the 2024-25 Common App Essay Prompts
• A Love Letter to My Mum: Personal Statements That Pay Tribute to Our Greatest Supporters

About the Contributor

Jamie Beaton

Jamie Beaton is the Co-founder and CEO of Crimson Education. With degrees from Harvard, Oxford, Stanford, Yale, and Tsinghua, Jamie is an educational innovator passionate about helping students reach their academic potential. He co-founded Crimson after gaining admission to 25 of the world's top universities. Under his leadership, Crimson has become the world's most successful university admissions consultancy, helping thousands gain entry into the Ivy League and other elite institutions.

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• Biology personal statements

Biological sciences degree personal statement example (1a) Manchester offer

When I think about it, my interest in Biology all started when my mother told me that she was expecting identical twins. At the time I only had a very basic understanding of reproduction and I remember being utterly baffled, thinking 'How can there possibly be two?' Being inquisitive, I began reading lots of multiple pregnancy books and gained a greater understanding of how the zygote must split in two in the very early stages of pregnancy. I am still very interested in this area, as what causes the split is still a mystery amongst scientists. Nowadays my interest in Biology is much wider, for example the GM crop debate, stem cell research and of course evolution of life on Earth. An area that particularly interests me is research into methods of preventing the spread of malaria. I have read several articles about the issue. One intriguing method involves genetically engineering mosquitoes to be malaria resistant. Entomologist Michael Riehle has altered a 'signalling protein' that stops the gut from developing normally, preventing the malaria parasite developing in the mosquitoes. Although there are still initial problems with the scientific research, in this case giving the GM mosquitoes a competitive advantage, it is cutting edge, experimental science like this that makes me excited to study Biology.

A particularly inspiring book that I have read is 'The Selfish Gene' by Richard Dawkins. This book, for me, brought alive the theory of evolution by natural selection. By using modern understanding of genetics it explains social behaviour observed by biologists. I found how selfish greed can impact child behaviour particularly fascinating. It is this passion for Biology that is the fundamental reason for pursuing it further.

Through my studies at A-Level Biology I have furthered my knowledge, but facts are not everything. Using this knowledge and applying it to unheard of situations is exciting and challenging. This is one of the reasons that I am so interested in a Biology degree. Mathematics A-Level has encouraged logical thinking that is crucial in order to be a successful scientist; in addition I have gained mathematical understanding that will be essential during my degree. In History I have gained important problem solving and critical reasoning skills, something that I believe means that I am well suited to this degree as it is the essence of scientific reasoning and experimentation.

I was recently selected as 'Biology Prefect' within school. The role requires me to put into use team work and communication skills, things that will be vital for laboratory based assignments, whilst helping younger students who are struggling to build their confidence with Biology. I also believe this illustrates my passion and commitment to the subject as I am willing to take an active role. I have participated in several debating competitions whilst representing my school. Debating is a particular extra-curricular interest of mine that I fully intend to pursue further at university. From debating I have learnt new skills, such as being able to formulate arguments on a wide range of topics, to communicating these views in a pressured situation. One of the things that I look forward to most at university is being in an environment where intellectual debate is encouraged, another motive for applying.

A Biology degree for me would be a pathway to being part of the wider scientific community who search for the truth about the world around us. I wish to dedicate myself to furthering our understanding of living organisms. This has been an ambition of mine for many years and shows that I would be absolutely committed to getting the most out of my studies.

Universities Applied to:

• University of Manchester (Biological Sciences with Year in Industry) - Offer (AAA) Firm
• University of Leicester (Biological Sciences) - Offer (AAB) Insurance
• Cardiff University (Biological Sciences with Year in Industry) - Offer (AAB)
• Leeds University (Biology) - Offer (AAB)
• University of Gloucestershire (Biology) - Offer (BBC)
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