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A Father's Legacy: Reflecting on the Narrative of Losing My Dad

Table of contents, introduction, a guiding light and endless love, the unfathomable farewell, navigating the rapids of grief, a continuation of love.

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• The Day that My Father Left Home

The Day that My Father Left Home - Essay Example

• Subject: English
• Type: Essay
• Level: College
• Pages: 6 (1500 words)
• Downloads: 2
• Author: arjunjaskolski

Extract of sample "The Day that My Father Left Home"

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CHECK THESE SAMPLES OF The Day that My Father Left Home

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the day my father left

by an anonymous author

He left on a snowy morning in mid-February. I had never before seen my father cry, but the day he left my mother and moved out of the house, red-rimmed were those blue eyes he had passed on to me.

I was seventeen when the perfect world I thought I lived in shattered around me. Like a neighbor boy’s baseball puncturing the glass pane of a living room window, the truth of what was happening to my parents’ marriage, to our family, caused a crash that has never fully repaired.

Through the whirl of the next few weeks, my father’s overnight bag was packed and unpacked as he flip-flopped between our house and wherever he stayed when he wasn’t there. My heart turned ragged when I caught my mother sobbing, when I had to change my college application papers multiple times to reflect my parents’ separation—unsteady marriage—separation, when I looked at my little brothers’ stony faces and couldn’t offer comfort.

Those were easily the worst months of my life—a nightmare come true. What I thought had been one of the truths I could count on—that my parents had decided divorce was not an option long before—lay laughing at my feet. I felt mocked, betrayed, deceived, and hurt. Only my mother’s faith in Jesus anchored me.

I missed my father when he was gone, but when he was staying with us, I would look at him and wonder if he would be there in the morning. It seemed each time I would stop wondering, he would be gone again.

Even years later, sometimes I still panic when I come home and his car isn’t in the driveway. He’s left again.

Before that February, I was that girl. That girl everyone could count on to teach Sunday school, to graduate homeschool with an honor cord around her neck, to go to college on a full scholarship. When my father left, I felt as if that girl was a lie.

Didn’t the horror of what my father had done cancel out the good Christian girl image? Didn’t the brokenness of my family forever decree that I too was broken?

Didn’t the betrayal my mother suffered mean I too would one day be abandoned?

Then, right there in the mud of sin my family and I were sludging through, Jesus met me in a way He never had before.

See, I thought I had to come to Him and beg. But instead He stooped down into the broken, the lie, the pain, and He reached for me.

Because He did, I kept breathing, I kept walking through the last work of senior year, and I kept crying healing tears even when I feared if I cried, I’d never stop.

That hard, hard year, I realized how gentle Jesus is. How loving. Isaiah 30:18 says,

“ Yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you; therefore he will rise up to show you compassion. For the Lord is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for him.”

It’s true, you know. God gets up off His throne just to show His children His great compassion. He knelt in the shattered shards of my hurting heart and reached out healing hands to hold me.

My father left my family. But God never did. Families are hardly ever perfect. God always is. I struggle with trusting others, especially men. I struggle with fearing that this tentative truce my parents have called is only temporary. And, yes, I struggle with seeing God as a loving Father now that my earthly one has failed me.

But when my struggles overwhelm, I look back at that seventeen-year-old girl and I know…when He says He will never leave nor forsake us, He means it. When He says we can trust Him, He means that, too. Not because that means our world will never shatter, but because it means He’s there to hold us when it does.

This brought tears to my eyes as I read it. Beautiful. Vulnerable. Real. Thank you for sharing. <3

Wow. Thank you for being vulnerable enough to share this story here. What a beautiful testimony to His faithfulness.

Forever and ever. <3

“when He says He will never leave nor forsake us, He means it.” This was so beautiful, friend. {hugs}

What a beautiful promise. He is.

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Why Did My Dad Leave Me?

While you may never know the reason that your father left you, there is one thing you can be absolutely sure of: You have a Heavenly Father who loves you and will never leave you or forsake you.

Doesn’t My Dad Love Me?

If your dad is no longer a presence in your life, you are undoubtedly asking these questions: Why did my dad leave me? Doesn’t my dad love me? No matter the reason that your dad left you and your family, the pain you feel is raw and real. The void that his absence left in your life seems too deep and wide to ever be filled. Yet you still wonder what made him choose to walk out of your life.

How can you ever move on from this, and hope to heal from such a loss? Let’s start by taking a look at some of the reasons that dads might choose to leave and the importance of their role in a child’s life.

Reasons Dads Leave

There are no clear cut answers for why some dads choose to leave their families. Each circumstance is different, and the reasons dads leave are numerous. But most fathers who choose to leave their families do not leave out of a desire to hurt their kids. Instead, fathers may leave out of a misguided perspective of wanting to protect their children from themselves.

Whatever the reason that your father had for leaving, know this: There is nothing that you did to cause your father to leave. There is nothing that you could have done to make him love you more, or anything that you did to make him love you less. You are not responsible for your father’s actions.

Romans 3:23 states, “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” No human father is perfect. Many fathers harbor deep-rooted fears that can cause them to make poor decisions where their families are involved. The following are some general reasons that dads choose to leave their families.

Past Harm and Hurt

Many fathers who choose to leave their families have experienced significant harm or hurt in their own lives. A father might have grown up without a father himself. If his dad left, then he knew all too well the hurt and void left behind from that loss. He may not have had another man in his life to teach him how to be a good father. Perhaps he experienced abuse or trauma in his childhood and is afraid that he would hurt you in the same way. These circumstances may have played a role in the fear your father felt when faced with the challenges of parenting.

Overwhelming Fear

Every parent faces fear when they discover they’re about to have a child. However, for some fathers, the fear can be crushing. Fear itself is often complex and unpredictable. It can cause people to do things they think they would never do. Fear can distort a person’s thinking so that they believe they are taking the right actions.

Fathers who struggle with anger or who have been abused in their past might be terrified that they’ll abuse or traumatize their child in the same manner. They might be thinking, “I’ll just mess up my kid the same way my dad messed me up.” Fathers might be afraid of letting their kids down; that there’s nothing they can do to live up to the world’s expectations. Fear of failure or harm can drive fathers to leave out of a misguided sense of protecting their child.

Strained Relationships

Many marriages end each year in divorce. Some studies give a staggering estimate that half of all marriages will end in divorce. While the number of actual divorces is constantly in flux, one thing is sure: divorce has a tremendous impact on the kids . Children of parents who are not married can also be significantly impacted if their parents decide to end the relationship.

Sometimes these marriages and relationships end amicably, but all too often hostilities arise. A father may leave his child’s life in an attempt to reduce tensions in the home. In some cases, reports of actual or perceived instances of abuse or addiction occur and affect the outcome of legal custody rulings. A custody dispute may end in a way that limits or ends a father’s contact. The bottom line is that strained relationships between parents and limited skills or desire in either party to reconcile have costs and consequences to children.

There are times when a father leaves their child’s life for safety reasons. If the father has a mental illness, for example, he may not be able to properly care for the child. Or, when struggling with symptoms, may cause unintentional harm to the child. In some cases, fathers with mental illness are still present in their child’s life but may be emotionally unavailable.

If a father is struggling with addictions, it can create an unsafe environment for their children. Fathers may choose to leave to protect their children from their actions. The court may also order separation from his family if the addictions are severe. The absence of the father while he struggles with addictions can be critical to the safety of the children in the family, but it still leaves a deep hurt and void.

Selfishness

Sometimes dads choose their wants over the needs of their kids. They might not have wanted children at that point in their life, or were unprepared for an unexpected pregnancy. Sometimes dads will choose drugs or alcohol over their families. Dads may choose to leave their wife and kids for another relationship. Or they may leave to pursue their own dreams and desires, rather than pouring out their love for their families.

Whatever the reason a dad leaves, it creates scars on the children he leaves behind. Absent fathers were not part of God’s original plan for the family. Instead, God intended for dads to have a vital role in the lives of their children. He created a space in every child’s heart that can only be filled by his or her dad. But how does a father’s presence or absence impact a child’s life? Here are some reasons why kids need their dads to be present.

Why Kids Need Their Dads

A father’s presence in a son or daughter’s life is a contributing factor to their sense of worth and to their growth as a person. Kids can see this modeled by other individuals — such as substitute family members or role models — but the ideal and first source is from their dad. The impact of a father may be different in a son’s life than in a daughter’s life, but the influence is equally as important. Dads fill a space in each child’s heart that a mother just can’t fill — no matter how wonderful she is as a parent. Here are some ways that a father’s presence impacts the life of his son or daughter.

Fathers and Sons

Sons need a father in their life to teach them how to go from being a boy to a man in training. They need godly men who can demonstrate integrity, character, and honor. Having a father in their life will teach them resilience and will train them to be strong men and fathers in the future. Only another man can teach a son how to become a man. Mothers cannot teach this to her sons in the same manner, man-to-man, as a father can.

Fathers and Daughters

Daughters also need their dads to be present in their lives. They need a father to demonstrate what a good and godly man looks like. She can potentially see this demonstrated by others, but the ideal source is from dad. Observing these traits will help her to choose a husband that exhibits those traits. If she doesn’t have this good example, she is more likely to settle for damaged men who will not treat her as she deserves. Daughters need fathers to show them that they are loved, cherished, heard, and are valuable. They need their father’s affirmation. While a father may not be a man of many words, when he does speak, daughters take his words to heart.

The Effects of Absent Fathers on Kids

A father’s absence creates a void in a child’s life. Fortunately, there are many great ways God provides substitute role models and care to children who do not have a father present in their lives. Being without a biological father does not “doom” anyone, yourself included, to a life of struggle. However, it is true that statistically, children are more likely to struggle with behavioral problems as they try to understand the reasons why dad left . They may seek approval and attention in dramatic ways. And the heavy burden of anger and hurt may impact them as they develop or even into their adult years.

Perhaps you were one of these kids. You struggled with the absence of your father and to this day continue to feel burdened by the hurt and anger that was caused when he left. How has that heavy burden impacted you after all these years? Let’s take a look at some of the things that anger and hurt can do if we continue to carry it.

A Boat Anchor Named Anger

Thinking about your father leaving probably causes a heavy feeling in your chest; a sinking feeling. It’s not uncommon to feel angry and hurt when you think of the void that his absence has caused in your life. That would be a normal and understandable response. Imagine that anger and hurt as a boat anchor. The heaviness of that burden is what you carry around with you each and every day. It’s a difficult burden to bear and an exhausting one.

Anger Drains Our Bodies

If you’ve ever carried a heavy backpack on a long hike, you’ll know what it’s like to be depleted at the end of the day. Your body is just tired . Muscles ache, joints throb, and you just want to sit and take a load off. Carrying the heavy weight of anger and hurt impacts our bodies in a similar way. Anger can manifest as extreme stress, ulcers, digestive issues, headaches, repeated illness, or even contribute to mental illness. It can cause mental and emotional exhaustion and can hinder how we approach challenges and achieve successes in our own lives. It can have a negative impact on how we think about ourselves and how we approach our relationships with others.

Anger Sinks Our Relationships

Holding on to the heavy anchor not only hurts and hinders us, but it can sink our relationships. Anger can be especially damaging to our relationship with God .

If we harbor traits that are contrary to God’s character — such as anger, hate, or holding grudges for past hurts — we place a wedge between ourselves and God. If we are to have a good relationship with God, we must let go of those attitudes.

Every relationship in our lives flows down from the relationship that we have with God. If we aren’t in a good relationship with God, our relationships with others cannot be healthy. It’s like watering a tree. If the roots of the tree aren’t receiving water, all the branches and leaves will wilt. Without the Living Water that God provides, our relationships will produce wilted fruit.

The way we react to the world around us depends on what we are storing in our hearts. If we store hate and anger in our hearts, it will percolate to the surface and will manifest in how we interact with others. If we carry the burden of anger in our hearts, it will appear in the things we speak and how we act ( Luke 6:45 ). This can be so damaging to many areas of our lives and will prevent us from growing and moving forward.

Toss That Anchor Overboard and Cut The Chain

I’m sure you want to get rid of that heavy boat anchor that you’ve been carrying around. The anger that you’ve been carrying does nothing to change your dad’s actions. It can’t change the past. All that burden is doing is hurting you instead. It’s impossible to carry it with you and have complete freedom in your life. If you continue to cling to it, it will always weigh you down. So what can you do to toss that anchor overboard, cut the chain, and sail forward?

The Journey of Forgiveness

Forgiveness is an important step in letting go of that heavy anchor. But it’s not cheap, quick, or easy. Forgiveness is not something that happens overnight. It takes time and can be a long process. You may not be ready to forgive your father right now for his absence. At some point, you’ll want to start taking steps in that direction. You will want to get to a place where you can begin to address that topic. When you are ready, you may want to talk to a trusted spiritual advisor or counselor to walk with you through the steps of forgiveness.

Steps In The Right Direction

First, engage with God. Talk to Him about your father, his absence, and how it left you reeling. You don’t have to hold anything back. God knows you better than you know yourself, so lay it all down on the table. Talk about this with Him consistently and ask Him for help. He will soften your heart and will enable you to forgive your dad for leaving. We can’t do it of our own strength. But if we allow Jesus to carry the burden, He will.

Next, consider talking with a counselor about your father. Counselors have amazing insight and can encourage and help guide you on your journey to healing and forgiveness. Remember that seeking the wisdom of a counselor is not a weakness; it can be life giving.

Another step that many people find helpful is to write a letter to their dad. This isn’t a letter that you’ll be dropping in the mail, so feel free to lay all your thoughts and hurts down on the page. Often people feel better having it off their chest.

If you know your father and he is a safe individual to approach emotionally or physically, you might also choose to do something good for him. If not in person, at least in prayer and in your heart. Human nature wants to repay hurt for hurt. It takes real courage and grace to repay hurt with kindness. Of course, any specific contact you make may require special discernment based on the history and relationship patterns. Always seek wise counsel, and if merited, even consider professional counseling before making major plans or decisions.

The Bible instructs us to forgive others, just as Christ has forgiven us ( Ephesians 4:32 ). Showing forgiveness and grace to a father who hurt you might be one of the hardest things you’ll ever do. But if you are intentional in trying to forgive your dad, God will do an amazing work in your heart and can help you to break the cycle of absent fathers in your own life and in the lives of others.

Breaking the Cycle

For centuries, kids have been asking “why did my dad leave me?” However, the number of fathers who have left their kids has seen an increase in recent decades. How can we stop this trend and the cycle of devastation it leaves in its wake?

Choose To Break The Cycle In Your Family

If your own father has left you, then you know that repeating that pattern is not the best choice. Without intentionality, some fatherless children may tend to repeat the same pattern later in life. This does not have to be anyone’s story. You can use your life story as a springboard to another path. You can make the choice for the cycle of absent fathers to end with you.

What do you do once you’ve made this choice? Start by making a commitment to love and be present with your kids. You don’t have to be perfect. Your kids don’t need your perfection, they need your presence . They need you to be a part of their lives. Next, seek out another godly man in your life to be a mentor to you. Reach out to someone who can keep you accountable, encourage you, and walk with you along your journey of being a dad. Over time, he can teach you what it means to be a dad.

Be sure to cling to God for guidance and help. Read the Word, spend time in prayer, and find a men’s discipleship group through the church if you can. The journey won’t always be easy, but God will honor it. He will teach you and bless you in amazing ways. He will be the Heavenly Father that you look to for hope and help if only you’ll let Him.

Make an Impact in Another Child’s Life

For men who want to make an impact in a fatherless child’s life, you don’t have to stand idly by. You don’t have to be a father to invest in kids. Whether you are a grandparent, foster parent, or friend, you can be a wonderful mentor to kids who don’t have a father. Remember, you don’t have to be perfect. You just need to be a man who loves Jesus and has the courage to step up and help fill that void.

Make a commitment to them to be present. Something as simple as showing up for a baseball game or taking them fishing can make an impact. Talking through the challenges and questions that these kids have about life can encourage them and help them grow as people, and in their walks with Christ. Mentoring a child and showing that you are present can be a game changer for them.

Mentor A Dad

You can also step up and help mentor another dad. There are many men out there who have not had a father in their lives to teach them what it means to be a dad. This is your opportunity to step in and show them. Make a commitment to consistently be present , talk through it, and walk life with them. Don’t be afraid to put yourself out there. God can take your willingness and make an impact for generations to come.

You can mentor another dad one-on-one or through a men’s discipleship group in your church. If a group like this doesn’t exist, why not start one? It can be a chance for you to bond in deeper ways, lift each other up in prayer, and support each other through the challenges of fatherhood and encourage each other in your walk with God.

God is Not Like Your Father

We tend to see our Heavenly Father through the lens of our experience with our earthly fathers. We often project our dad’s character and traits onto God and imagine that He behaves in the same manner. However, God is perfect, whereas we are all imperfect. He is reliable, He is love, and He will never leave you. God knew your name and who you would become before you were even born ( Psalm 139) . And He loved you so much that He sent His only son — Jesus — to die on a cross to save you. All you have to do is accept His gift of salvation — of freedom in Christ.

If you have never accepted Jesus into your life and want to accept His love, forgiveness, peace, and healing, you can pray something like this:

Heavenly Father, I come to you in the name of Jesus and lay my life before you. I’ve pushed you away for too long and have rejected your love and peace in my life until now. Thank you for your gift of salvation and I choose to receive it today. I believe you sent your Son to die on the cross for my sins, and that He rose again. I believe that my sins are forgiven and that you have given me the gift of eternal life through Jesus. Your words are true and I know that you love me beyond measure. Come into my heart, Lord Jesus, and be my Savior. Show me your love and your peace. Help me to forgive those who have hurt me as you have forgiven me for my sins. Help me to show them your love as you have shown it to me. Amen.

Now that you have made the decision to accept Christ , where do you go from here? Coming Home is an excellent resource on how to know God in a deeper way. Find a local church, if you don’t already have a church home. Become a part of a Bible study or discipleship group there and find a mentor who can help guide you on your walk with Christ.

Final Thoughts

You may never know the answer to the question, “Why did my dad leave me?” However, there is one thing you can be absolutely sure of: You have a Heavenly Father who loves you and knows you. God has never left you or forsaken you ( Deuteronomy 31:6 ). If you let Him, God can fill the void and heal the hurt that your father’s absence has created. There is nothing He cannot restore.

If you would like to have a one-time consult with a licensed or pastoral counselor at Focus on the Family or you would like receive a referral for ongoing professional counseling in your area, we invite you to reach out to us at Focus on the Family through our free  Counseling Consultation and Referral Service  at 1-855-771-HELP.

© 2020, 2024 Focus on the Family. 

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The Impossible Choice My Father Had to Make

No parent wants to put his or her child’s life at risk. But for families like mine, crossing the border was our only hope for a better future.

By Reyna Grande

Ms. Grande is a Mexican-American author.

On Aug. 2 , Ivanka Trump seemed to blame immigrant parents for the separation of families that happened this summer at the United States-Mexico border. We should be “very careful of incentivizing behavior that puts children at risk,” she said . She is not alone in putting the blame on immigrants. In a June poll , 54 percent of American voters said that parents are at fault when their children are taken from them.

While Ms. Trump’s father was separating thousands of families through his “ zero tolerance ” policy, I thought about my own father and the choice he had to make: leave me behind in Mexico or put my life at risk by bringing me to America for a chance at a better future. It was not a decision he made lightly.

I begged him to take me with him, but he worried that at 9 years old, I was too young to survive the treacherous journey. Only my older sister, Mago, 13, and my brother, Carlos, 12, would go with him.

“I’ll come back for you, Chata,” he said.

I shook my head and said, “The last time you left, you were gone for almost eight years, Papi.”

In 1977, when I was 2, my father left to look for work in the United States. My mother followed him two years later, leaving my siblings and me in the care of our grandparents. At the time, Mexico was in an economic recession and on the verge of a national debt crisis. There were no jobs in my hometown — Iguala, in Guerrero, one of the country’s poorest and most violent states .

For the nearly eight years he was gone, I longed for my father. There was a black-and-white photo of him hanging on the wall at my grandmother’s house. It was the only thing I had to remember him by.

He returned in May of 1985 for a two-week visit. This time, he decided to take Mago and Carlos with him back to Los Angeles. Not only did he tell me I would have to stay behind again, I’d be left without my beloved sister, who was like a mother to me.

“Please, take me with you,” I begged my father. “Don’t leave me, Papi.”

Over the past few months, I have watched in horror as thousands of children have been taken from their parents as a repugnant deterrent for illegal border crossings. When Attorney General Jeff Sessions said , “If people don’t want to be separated from their children, they should not bring them with them,” I thought about how I begged my father to bring me with him. How many of those children had also begged to not be left behind?

Luckily for me, my father changed his mind. As the coyote guided us through the rugged terrain of Otay Mountain, my father carried me on his back when I got tired, which was often. We got caught twice by Border Patrol and sent back to Tijuana to start over again. We made it across on our third attempt.

Ms. Trump also said , “We are a country of laws.” While she is passing judgment on immigrant parents like my father, her father’s administration is making it harder for families to seek legal entry into the United States by tightening the standards for asylum and legal migration . No parent wants to uproot and risk his or her child’s life. Unlike Ms. Trump’s mother, my father was an economic migrant, too poor to qualify for even the most basic visa requirements. He was a maintenance worker with a third-grade education, and the only way to give his children a better future was to break the law.

My American-born daughter is now a year older than I was when I crossed the border. When I look at her, I think about how my father must have felt, trudging through the wilderness with me on his back. I couldn’t imagine doing the same with my daughter. Would she survive what I survived?

Every day, in countries around the world, mothers and fathers are deciding whether saving their children means leaving them behind to suffer or bringing them on a perilous journey to a place where they could have a better future.

There are grave consequences to either choice.

Before we blame these parents for the situation their families are in, we should think about how they got there in the first place. Ms. Trump said that she is “very vehemently against family separation and the separation of parents and children.” If that’s the case, then she should advise her father to reconsider proposed cuts to the foreign aid the United States gives to countries like Mexico. Advise him to stop limiting the opportunities for migrant families to seek and receive asylum . Beg him to show compassion.

If she doesn’t, many more families will continue to face this painful dilemma. My heart breaks for my father and for all the parents in the world right now who are looking at their children and wondering which choice to make.

Reyna Grande is the author of the forthcoming memoir “A Dream Called Home.”

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Short Essay on My Father [100, 200, 400 Words] With PDF

Essays on ‘Father’ is a very common English writing comprehension test for many exams. In this lesson today, I will discuss how to write short essays on one of the most important people of our life: Father. 

Short Essay on Father in 100 Words

My father is a kind and caring person. He is my hero. He works hard and takes care of our family. He always motivates me to study well, work hard and chase my dreams. Whenever I am sick, he stays beside me and takes care of me alongside my mother.

My father is a loving husband to my mother and a filial son to his parents. He helps my mother with the household chores and spends a lot of time with my grandparents. He has never differentiated between a son and a daughter and treats me and my sibling equally. On weekends, he takes us out for picnics, movies, and other fun activities. My father is a role model for me. 

Short Essay on Father in 200 Words

My father is an ideal man. He is kind and caring. He works hard and takes care of our family. He is a strong-willed person who doesn’t fear challenges and never gives up. He motivates me to study well and work hard towards my dreams. My father is my best friend. I share all my worries and problems with him and he always comes up with the best solutions. When I am sad, he comforts me and gives me strength. When I am sick, he stays beside me and takes care of me alongside my mother. 

My father is a loving husband and a filial son. He helps my mother with the household work and shares her load. He values her a lot and never fights with her. He also spends a lot of time with my grandparents and takes them to visit their old friends whenever he has time. He also takes us out for family picnics and outings on weekends.

My father has never differentiated between a son and a daughter and treats both me and my sibling equally. He has set an example for us by being an upright, compassionate and genuine human being. He has taught us to be honest, respectful, and kind. My father is my role model and I love him very much. 

Short Essay on Father in 400 Words

My father is the backbone of our family. He is a kind, caring and compassionate person. He is a teacher by profession and is well-respected by his students and colleagues. He works hard and takes care of our family. My father is strong-willed and optimistic. He is not afraid of facing challenges and doesn’t give up no matter how difficult a situation is.

He motivates me to study well and work hard towards my dreams. My father is also my best friend. He listens to whatever I have to say. I can share all my worries and problems with him and he always comes up with the best solutions. When I am not in a good mood, he comforts me. When I am sick, he takes care of me. Even when he returns home tired, he makes sure to sit with us and have a nice talk. 

My father is a generous person. Being a teacher, he has come across many students who want to learn but do not have the financial capacity to support their studies. For them, he has given lessons for free and even helped them financially.

He is very kind to the poor and needy. He helps them and does as much as possible to support them. My father is a helpful person and is always ready to extend a helping hand whenever our neighbours are in some kind of trouble. I am very proud of him. 

My father is an ideal husband and son. He helps my mother with the household chores and shares the load. He values her, listens to her thoughts, ideas and opinions and never fights with her. They always make sure that our home environment is peaceful and harmonious.

My father is also a filial son who spends a lot of time taking care of his parents. He takes my grandparents out to the park and to visit their old friends whenever he has time. On weekends, he takes us out for picnics, movies and other fun activities. When my sibling or I have exams, my father stays up at night to guide us and help us with our studies. 

My father has never differentiated between a son and a daughter and treats both me and my sibling equally. He has taught us to be upright, honest, respectful and kind. He leads by example and has shown us how to be selfless, brave and patient. My father is my role model and I love him dearly. 

Hopefully, from the session above, you have gotten a holistic idea of how you can write short essays on ‘Father’ in a concise form. In this lesson, I have adopted a simplistic approach and easy language to write these essays so that all kinds of students can understand those without any difficulties. If you still have any doubts regarding this session, kindly let me know through some quick comments. 

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Home — Essay Samples — Life — Father — How My Father’s Stroke Changed My Life

How My Father’s Stroke Changed My Life

• Categories: Father Personal Experience

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Words: 900 |

Published: Jan 28, 2021

Words: 900 | Pages: 2 | 5 min read

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No One Has a Right to Protest in My Home

The difference between a private yard and a public forum

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Produced by ElevenLabs and News Over Audio (NOA) using AI narration.

As a constitutional scholar and the dean of the UC Berkeley School of Law, I strongly defend the right to speak one’s mind in public forums. But the rancorous debate over the Israel-Hamas war seems to be blurring some people’s sense of which settings are public and which are not. Until recently, neither my wife—Catherine Fisk, a UC Berkeley law professor—nor I ever imagined a moment when our right to limit a protest at a dinner held at our own home would become the subject of any controversy.

Ever since I became a law-school dean, in 2008, the two of us have established a custom of inviting each class of first-year students over for a meal. These dinners help create and reinforce a warm community, and, to accommodate all students, they take place on many evenings during the year. The only exceptions were in 2020 and 2021 because of COVID. So last year and this year, at the request of the presidents of the third-year classes, we organized make-up dinners on three successive nights and invited each of the 400 graduating students to attend one.

The week before the dinners on April 9, 10, and 11, though, a group at Berkeley called Law Students for Justice in Palestine put a profoundly disturbing poster on social media and on bulletin boards in the law-school building. No dinner with Zionist Chem while Gaza starves , the poster declared in large letters. (Students sometimes refer to me as “Chem.”) It also included a caricature of me holding a bloody knife and fork and with what appeared to be blood around my lips—an image that evokes the horrible anti-Semitic blood libel, in which Jews are accused of killing and cannibalizing gentile children. The poster attacks me for no apparent reason other than that I am Jewish. The posters did not specify anything I personally had said or done wrong. The only stated request was that the University of California divest from Israel—a matter for the regents of the University of California, not the law school or even the Berkeley campus.

George Packer: The campus-left occupation that broke higher education

Several Jewish students and staff members told me that the posters offended them and asked me to have them removed. Even though their presence upset me too, I felt that I could not take them off bulletin boards at a public law school. Though appalling, they were speech protected by the First Amendment.

The group responsible for the posters was not content to have its say on paper. Student-government leaders told me that Law Students for Justice in Palestine demanded that my wife and I cancel the dinners; if not, the group would protest at them. I was sad to hear this, but the prospect of a demonstration in the street in front of our home did not change our plans. I made clear that we would still host dinners for students who wanted to attend.

On April 9, about 60 students came to our home for dinner. Our guests were seated at tables in our backyard. Just as they began eating, I was stunned to see the leader of Law Students for Justice in Palestine—who was among the registered guests—stand up with a microphone that she had brought, go up the steps in the yard, and begin reading a speech about the plight of the Palestinians. My wife and I immediately approached her and asked her to stop speaking and leave the premises. The protester continued. At one point, my wife attempted to take away her microphone. Repeatedly, we said to her: You are a guest in our home. Please leave.

The student insisted that she had free-speech rights. But our home is not a forum for free speech; it is our own property, and the First Amendment—which constrains the government’s power to encroach on speech on public property—does not apply at all to guests in private backyards. The dinner, which was meant to celebrate graduating students, was obviously disrupted. Even if we had held the dinner in the law-school building, no one would have had a constitutional right to disrupt the event. I have taught First Amendment law for 44 years, and as many other experts have confirmed, this is not a close question.

Some attendees sympathetic to the student-group leader recorded a video. An excerpt of it appeared on social media and quickly went viral. Soon newspapers and magazines published stories about it. Some commentators have criticized my wife for trying to get hold of the microphone. Some have said that I just should have let the student speak for as long as she wanted. But in all of the dinners we have held over more than 15 years, not once has anyone attempted to give a speech. We had no reason to change the terms of the dinner to accommodate someone from an organization that put up anti-Semitic images of me.

After struggling over the microphone, the student said if we let go of it, she would leave. We relented, and she departed, along with about 10 other students—all of whom had removed their jackets to show matching T-shirts conveying a pro-Palestinian message.

Michael Powell: The unreality of Columbia’s ‘liberated zone’

The dinners went forward on Wednesday and Thursday. On Thursday night, about 15 people came to our home and stood on the street in front of it, and then on the path directly next to our backyard. They chanted loudly and at times offensively. They yelled and banged drums to make as much noise as possible to disturb the dinner. The event continued.

Being at the center of a social-media firestorm was strange and unsettling. We received thousands of messages, many very hateful and some threatening. For days, we got death threats. An organized email campaign demanded that the regents and campus officials fire my wife and me, and another organized email campaign supported us. Amid an intensely painful sequence of events, we experienced one upside: After receiving countless supportive messages from people we have met over the course of decades, we felt like Jimmy Stewart at the end of It’s a Wonderful Life .

Overall, though, this experience has been enormously sad. It made me realize how anti-Semitism is not taken as seriously as other kinds of prejudice. If a student group had put up posters that included a racist caricature of a Black dean or played on hateful tropes about Asian American or LGBTQ people, the school would have erupted—and understandably so. But a plainly anti-Semitic poster received just a handful of complaints from Jewish staff and students.

Many people’s reaction to the incident in our yard reflected their views of what is happening in the Middle East. But it should not be that way. The dinners at our house were entirely nonpolitical; there was no program of any kind. And our university communities, along with society as a whole, will be worse off if every social interaction—including ones at people’s private homes—becomes a forum for uninvited political monologues.

I have spent my career staunchly defending freedom of speech. As a dean, I have tried hard to create a warm, inclusive community. As I continue as dean of Berkeley Law, I will endeavor to heal the divisions in our community. We are not going to solve the problems of the Middle East in our law school, but we must be a place where we treat one another with respect and kindness.

My father survived the Holocaust. Why are students taking part in a new call to violence?

I t was freshman year. I was home for a holiday weekend, and the nation was awaiting the outcome of a Supreme Court case that was the talk of campus. Over dinner I shared my views. “The right to burn the flag,” I told my parents with 18-year-old certainty, “is a far more beautiful thing than the flag itself. We should be inspired when we see the flag being burned, because it means we are free!”

I can count on one hand the number of times I saw my father, Nobel Peace Prize laureate Elie Wiesel , angry. This is the only time I can remember him being angry at  me . 

My father’s face darkened as he pushed back his chair and stood up from the table. “If you had been there,” he said in a voice I had never heard him use before. “If you had been there when Buchenwald was liberated , if you had seen that flag being carried that day.”

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“Dad, I ...”

“If you knew what that flag meant to the soldiers who had seen their brothers killed trying to reach us," my father, a Holocaust survivor , said to me. "If you knew what that flag meant to me then, and means to me now, you would never utter such foolishness at my table.”

I was ashamed. My obsession with one truth − that civil liberties were a treasure to be protected − had prevented me from seeing a truth that stood just as strongly beside it. Not everything that is legal is right. Not everything that can be said, should. 

My parents had endured unspeakable horrors to arrive at this promised, if imperfect, land, to make common cause with her most deeply held values. I had been not only ungrateful, but blind. 

I tell you this story to share how he taught. What he didn’t do mattered as much as what he did. My father didn’t threaten to cut off my tuition. He didn’t love me any less the next day. But symbols have meaning. Words have meaning. There was history I needed to hear to inform the ideological viewpoint I was developing, and he made sure I heard it.

Hamas, Israel aren't morally equivalent: My father, Elie Wiesel, survived Auschwitz. He'd ask these questions about Israel-Hamas war.

To be young is to explore. Students are expected to experiment with different ideas and worldviews. And universities, like parents, have a responsibility to guide them.

Students repeat genocidal chants against Israel

Not every student in the ongoing pro-Palestinian demonstrations has burned the American flag or screamed “ Death to America ” or expressed fervor for Osama bin Laden , although these are shocking moments caught on camera that we cannot unsee or unhear.

But by the hundreds they are shouting genocidal phrases in a cult-like call-and-response fashion, led by the demagogue extremists who have taken over their campuses:  From the river to the sea ,  Palestine will be free .  Globalize the intifada .  We don’t want two states, we want all of '48 .  

Why are so many taking part in this call to violence?

Pro-Palestinian protesters anti-America? Condemning 'death to America' chants should be easy

Some are surely there not because they have a deep understanding of the Middle East, nor even necessarily tremendous empathy, but for the excitement, the illusion of camaraderie, the chance to demonstrate to their classmates that they are as righteous and revolutionary as anyone else. The demagogues offer them a chance to be part of the club. All one needs to do is treat the Jews as the “other,” the one nation not allowed to defend itself from rape, terror and murder.

And surely some are there out of genuine compassion and the desire to follow their conscience. We have no way of knowing what is in their hearts. But all who chant these slogans must agree to the same price: Blame the Jews.  

Universities are obliged to allow free speech. They are also obliged to make sure that every one of their students can attend their classes free of harassment and verbal assault. But above all, they are obliged to teach. 

Our enemies accuse us of colonizing Palestine.

Where are the professors of history, who have studied the archaeological and written records , which include the New Testament and the Quran, that connect the ancient Jews to Israel?  Why are they silent? 

Our enemies insist that the Jews do not need our own nation.

Where are the faculty who should be pointing out that when European Jewry needed shelter from the Nazis, no other nation would offer them refuge?

Our enemies accuse Israel of genocide.

Where are the history lessons on the blood libel , the historical precedent for accusing Jews of murder? On the repeated Palestinian rejection of Israel’s offers of self-rule, land and peace that dispel the genocide lie completely?  On the actual definition of genocide?

Universities need to hold extremists accountable

Universities need to deliver severe consequences for the extremists who have fanned this hatred on campus.

For all the other students involved, universities should create a path for education and forgiveness, without shying away from pointing out the depth of their error.

Don't equivocate on Israel: Biden has his own 'fine people on both sides' moment. He's as wrong now as Trump was then.

What might have happened − what might have been  prevented − had German universities given students the knowledge to question what they were taught about the Jews in the 1930s? What if enough students had decided to stop parroting the words their classmates uttered? What if they had broken free of the machine that slaughtered my family? 

If antisemitism depends on the context , then give these students the context they need to temper their ideology, just as my father did for me so many years ago.

It’s time for university leaders to do their job. It’s time for them to teach.

Elisha Wiesel  is the son of Marion Wiesel and Nobel Peace Prize laureate Elie Wiesel.

This article originally appeared on USA TODAY: My father survived the Holocaust. Why are students taking part in a new call to violence?

My dad died when I was 14. I'm jealous of all the people who got to spend more time with him.

• My dad adopted me when I was 4, but to me he was always my father. 
• He died suddenly when I was 14. 
• Our time together was only a small percentage of the life he lived, and we missed on so much. 

Being part of the Dead Dads Club ™ is hard, but I doubt that's surprising. It doesn't seem to get easier with time, either.

My dad adopted me on April 27, 2004, when I was 4. He and my mom met after I was born, but he was always my father.

I love it when people share stories about my dad . He's not around to make more memories, so it's nice to reminisce on the ones he was part of. But one of the things they don't teach in the Dead Dad Club™ is that as kids of deceased parents , we have to deal with the fact that we might not have been around for the majority of these memories.

Having limited memories is hard

With grief , it sometimes feels like grasping at straws to find something new to think about when it comes to him. He died suddenly 10 years ago when I was 14. We spent nearly every day going back and forth to school and sports practices, talking, and listening to music in his truck.

Then it was all over and our time together was dwindled into memories .

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So many people had precious moments with my dad long before I was around, and my dad had many without me, too. Of the years he was alive, I was only part of a small percentage, so sometimes I selfishly feel like I got robbed out of experiences and conversations we should've had that he had with someone else.

My dad loved family more than anything

My dad walked my sister, who is 15 years older than me, down the aisle at her wedding. I don't think I ever saw him happier than he was that day, aside from when my nieces were born. Forget Ron or Ronnie: Dad, Papa, and Uncle Ronnie were his favorite names to be called.

He was an overgrown child. Whenever he was around a random little kid in the grocery store or a restaurant, he'd look down at them and say in his big, booming voice: "How are you today?" Usually, they'd freak out that a strange man was talking to them, and he'd begrudgingly chuckle a bit. Sometimes, though, he'd make a new little friend.

He was the biggest supporter and cheerleader you'd find. He attended many of my cousins' sporting events and was at every one of my softball games, dance recitals, and cross-country and track meets. I think the activity we did the most together was playing catch in the front yard, followed by doing cannonballs in the pool. We also ate our fair share of French silk pie together, and every time I eat a slice, I think of him.

I think about what he's missing often

But he died before I ran my fastest times in high school — at the track meet in his hometown, of course — and before he could see me graduate. He didn't see me start and finish college and grad school, move to a big city, get my first job in my field, and meet someone special. (He never met anybody I dated, so I guess good for them, he would've left a scary first impression.)

He won't be there to walk me down the aisle or be called Papa by my kids when I have them. But I'll be sure to tell them about him.

I'm glad so many people shared fond times with him and know just how selfless, loving, and hilarious he was. But it's hard not to feel jealous, especially as time keeps moving and reminding me that soon, there will have been more years without him than I spent with him. Still, I hold memories close — mine and the ones others kindly share with me.

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