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My Life as a College Student: Growth, Challenges, and Future Aspirations

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Published: Feb 7, 2024

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Table of contents

Introduction, a. background information, b. thesis statement, a. early years, b. family life, c. education, a. high school experience, b. social life, c. personal challenges, a. college selection process, b. challenges and successes, c. extracurricular activities, a. career choices, b. work experience, c. skills acquired, a. relationships, b. hobbies and interests, c. travel experiences, a. personal obstacles, b. professional setbacks, c. lessons learned, a. life lessons, b. future aspirations, c. conclusion, ix. conclusion, a. recap of key points, b. final thoughts, c. call to action.

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Goals and Priorities

Kristen Lovric and Debi Howarth

Introduction

Every day holds limitless choices for how you can spend your time. Whether consciously or not, those decisions are guided by goals and priorities. Selecting purposeful goals and priorities has the power to put you on track and on time in your journey to academic success. This chapter holds valuable tools for knowing how to get the best out of every day, every week and every year at university. It can move you from floating along with limitless choices, to flying with a focused, intentional direction towards where you want to go.

The chapter begins by explaining the link between goals and motivation. It then shows you how to construct SMART goals and how to use grit to “stick” with them. It also points out the difference between long-term and short-term goals. Next, the chapter explores how to determine priorities, and what to do when you have priority conflicts. This is followed by a helpful discussion of how to complete tasks by breaking them down into the components you need. The chapter finishes with a reminder of how having both deadlines and flexibility can assist you.

Goals Give Motivation

Motivation often means the difference between success and failure. That applies to school, to specific tasks, and to life in general. One of the most effective ways to keep motivated is to set goals. Goals can be big or small. A goal can range from I am going to write one extra page tonight , to I am going to work to get an A in this course , and all the way to I am going to graduate in the top of my class so I can start my career with a really good position . The great thing about goals is that they can include and influence several other things that all work towards a much bigger picture. For example, if your goal is to get an A in a certain course, all the reading, studying, and every assignment you do for that course contributes to the larger goal. You are motivated to do each of those things and to do them well. Setting goals is something that is frequently talked about, but it is often treated as something abstract. Goal setting is best done with careful thought and planning. This next section will explain how you can apply tested techniques to goal setting and what the benefits of each can be.

SMART Goals

Goals need to be specific and represent an end result. They should also be SMART. SMART is an acronym that stands for Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound. When constructed carefully, a SMART goal will help you achieve an end result and support your decision making. Each of the components of a SMART goal will now be described in more detail below.

• Specific —For a goal to be specific, it must be carefully defined. A goal of get a good job when I graduate is too general. It doesn’t define what a good job is. A more specific goal would be something like identify a hospital that recruits graduate nurses and has clear career paths.
• Measurable —To show effect, and report progress, goals need to be measured. What this means is that the goal should have clearly defined outcomes with enough detail to measure them. For example, setting a goal of doing well at university is a bit undefined, but making a goal of graduating with a grade point average (GPA) above 4.0 at university is measurable and something you can work with.
• Attainable — Attainable or achievable goals means they are reasonable and within your ability to accomplish. While a goal to complete six subjects in a semester and work part time is something that would be nice to achieve, the odds that you could make that happen in a semester are not very realistic for most students. However, if you plan to complete three subjects this semester and work part time it may well be more achievable.
• Relevant —For goal setting, relevant means it applies to the situation. In relation to university, a goal of buying a horse to ride to for pleasure on weekends is unlikely to be relevant to your student goals, particularly if you live 100km from campus, but getting dependable transportation to the campus is something that would contribute to your success at university.
• Time-bound —Time-bound means you set a specific time frame to achieve the goal. I will get my paper written by Wednesday is time-bound. You know when you must meet the goal. I will get my paper written sometime soon does not help you plan how and when you will accomplish the goal.

In the following table you can see some examples of goals that do and do not follow the SMART system (see Table 11.1 ). As you read each one, think about what elements make them SMART or how you might change those that are not.

Table 11.1 Examples of goals that do and do not follow the SMART system

The most important thing to do when goal setting is to write down the goals, then keep them visible, and revisit each one every couple of weeks to make sure you are on track.  Another useful approach to goal setting is to discuss your goals with a critical friend who will help you to be realistic and encourage you to achieve the goals.

Stick With It!

As with anything else, the key to reaching goals is to stick with them, keep yourself motivated, and overcome any obstacles along the way. In the following graphic you will find seven methods that highly successful people use to accomplish their goals (see Figure 11.2 ).

Keeping focused and motivated can be difficult at university.  There are so many other things to do, lots of temptations, and procrastination can be a problem with complex study commitments.  How well we persevere towards goal or task completion is sometimes called “grit”.  Grit drives us to succeed and to get back up when things seem too hard.  Grit is not about how clever you are. It is about how much you keep going until something is finished or accomplished.

This personality trait was defined as grit by the psychologist Angela Duckworth and colleagues (Duckworth et al., 2007). In their study, they found that individuals with high grit were able to maintain motivation in learning tasks despite failures. What the results showed was that grit and perseverance were better predictors of academic success and achievement than talent or IQ. The New York Times best-selling author Paul G. Stoltz has since taken the grit concept and turned it into an acronym (GRIT) to help people remember and use the attributes of a grit mindset (Stoltz, 2015). His acronym is Growth, Resilience, Instinct,  and Tenacity.  Each element is explained in the table below (see Table 11.2 ).

Table 11.2 The GRIT acronym

The first step in applying grit is to adopt an attitude that focuses on the end goal as the only acceptable outcome. With this attitude comes an acceptance that you may not succeed on the first attempt—or the nineteenth attempt. Failed attempts are viewed as merely part of the process and seen as a very useful way to gain knowledge that moves you towards success. Sometimes we need to look at how we are doing something to find out why we are unsuccessful. When we are honest about the reasons why, we can then start to manage the situation and set goals. We get back up and start again.

Long-Term Goals and Short-Term Goals

Long-term goals are future goals that often take years to complete. An example of a long-term goal might be to complete a Bachelor of Arts degree within four years. Another example might be purchasing a home or running a marathon. While this chapter focuses on your academic planning, long-term goals are not exclusive to these areas of your life. You might set long-term goals related to fitness, wellness, spirituality, and relationships, among many others. When you set a long-term goal in any aspect of your life, you are demonstrating a commitment to dedicate time and effort towards making progress in that area. Because of this commitment, it is important that your long-term goals are aligned with your values.

You might assume that short-term and long-term goals are different goals that vary in the length of time they take to complete. Given this assumption, you might give the example of a long-term goal of learning how to create an app and a short-term goal of remembering to pay your mobile phone bill this weekend. These are valid goals, but they don’t exactly demonstrate the intention of short and long-term goals for the purposes of effective planning.

Instead of just being bound by the difference of time, short-term goals are the action steps that take less time to complete than a long-term goal, but that help you work towards your long-term goals. If you recall that short-term goal of paying your mobile phone bill this weekend, perhaps this short-term goal is related to a longer-term goal of learning how to better manage your budgeting and finances.

Prioritisation

A key component in goal setting and time management is that of prioritisation. Prioritisation can be thought of as ordering tasks and allotting time for them based on their identified needs or value. This next section provides some insight into not only helping prioritise tasks and actions based on need and value, but also how to better understand the factors that contribute to prioritisation.

The enemy of good prioritisation is panic, or at least making decisions based on strictly emotional reactions. It can be all too easy to immediately respond to a problem as soon as it pops up without thinking of the consequences of your reaction and how it might impact other priorities. It is natural for us to want to remove a stressful situation as soon as we can. We want the adverse emotions out of the way as quickly as possible. But when it comes to juggling multiple problems or tasks to complete, prioritising them first may mean the difference between completing everything satisfactorily and completing nothing at all.

One of the best ways to make good decisions about the prioritisation of tasks is to understand the requirements of each. If you have multiple assignments to complete and you assume one of those assignments will only take an hour, you may decide to put it off until the others are finished. Your assumption could be disastrous if you find, once you begin the assignment, that there are several extra components that you did not account for and the time to complete will be four times as long as you estimated. Because of situations like this, it is critically important to understand exactly what needs to be done to complete a task before you determine its priority.

To better see how things may need to be prioritised, some people make a list of the tasks they need to complete and then arrange them in a quadrant map based on importance and urgency. Traditionally this is called the Eisenhower Decision Matrix. Before becoming the 34th president of the United States, Dwight Eisenhower served as the Allied forces supreme commander during World War II and said he used this technique to better prioritise the things he needed to get done.

In this activity, begin by making a list of things you need or want to do today and then draw your own version of the grid below. Write each item in one of the four squares. Choose the square that best describes it based on its urgency and its importance. When you have completed writing each of the tasks in its appropriate square, you will see a prioritisation order of your tasks. Obviously, those listed in the Important and Urgent square will be the things you need to finish first. After that will come things that are “important but not urgent,” followed by “not important, but urgent,” and finally “not urgent and not important” (see Figure 11.4 ).

Another thing to keep in mind when approaching time management is that while you may have greater autonomy in managing your own time, many of your tasks are being driven by a few different individuals. In some cases, keeping  others  informed  about  your  priorities  may  help  avert possible conflicts (e.g., letting your boss know you will need time on a certain evening to study; letting your friends know you plan to do a journal project on Saturday but can do something on Sunday, etc.). It will be important to be aware of how others can drive your priorities and for you to listen to your own good judgment. Time management in university is as much about managing all the elements of your life as it is about managing time for class and to complete assignments.

Occasionally, regardless of how much you have planned or how well you have managed your time, events arise where it becomes almost impossible to accomplish everything you need to by the time required. While this is very unfortunate, it simply cannot be helped. As the saying goes, “things happen.” Finding yourself in this kind of situation is when prioritisation becomes most important. When this occurs with university assignments, the dilemma can be extremely stressful, but it is important to not feel overwhelmed by the anxiety of the situation so that you can make a carefully calculated decision based on the value and impact of your choice.

Priority Conflicts

As an illustration, imagine a situation  where  you  think  you  can only complete one of two  assignments  that  are  both  important and urgent, and you must make a choice of  which  one  you will finish and which one you will not. This is when it becomes critical to understand all the factors involved. While it may seem that whichever assignment is worth the most points to your grade is how you make the choice, there are actually a number of other attributes that can influence your decision in order to make the most of a bad situation. For example, one of the assignments may only be worth a minimal number of points towards your total grade, but it may be foundational to the rest of the course. Not finishing it, or finishing it late, may put other future assignments in jeopardy as well.  Or the instructor for one of the courses might have a “late assignment” policy that is more forgiving—something that would allow you to turn in the work a little late without too much of a penalty.

If you find yourself in a similar predicament, the first step is to try to find a way to get everything finished, regardless of the challenges. If that simply cannot happen, the next immediate step would be to communicate with your instructors to let them know about the situation. They may be able to help you decide on a course of action, or they may have options you had not considered. Only then can you make effective choices about prioritising in a tough situation. The key here is to make certain you are aware of and understand all the ramifications to help make the best decision when the situation dictates you make a hard choice among priorities.

Completing Tasks

Another important part of time management is to develop approaches that will help you complete tasks in a manner that is efficient and works for you. Most of this comes down to a little planning and being as informed about the specifics of each task as you can be.

Knowing what you need to do

  As discussed in previous parts of this chapter, many learning activities have multiple components, and sometimes they must occur in a specific order. Additionally, some elements may not only be dependent on the order they are completed, but can also be dependent on how they are completed. To illustrate this we will analyse  a  task  that  is  usually  considered   to   be   a   simple one: attending a class session. In this analysis we will look at not only what must be accomplished to get the most out of the experience, but also at how each element is dependent upon others and must be done in a specific order. The graphic below shows the interrelationship between the different activities, many of which might not initially seem significant enough to warrant mention, but it becomes obvious that other elements depend upon them when they are listed this way (see Figure 11.5 ).

As you can see from the graphic above, even a task as simple as “going to class” can be broken down into a number of different elements that have a good deal of dependency on other tasks. One example of this is preparing for the class lecture by reading materials ahead of time in order to make the lecture and any complex concepts easier to follow. If you did it the other way around, you might miss opportunities to ask questions or receive clarification on the information presented during the lecture.

Understanding what you need to do and when you need to do it can be applied to any task, no matter how simple or how complex. Knowing what you need to do and planning for it can go a long way towards success and preventing unpleasant surprises.

Knowing how you will get it done

  After you have a clear understanding of what needs to be done to complete a task (or the component parts of a task), the next step is to create a plan for completing everything. This may not be as easy or as simple as declaring that you will finish part one, then move on to part two, and so on. Each component may need different resources or skills to complete, and it is in your best interest to identify those ahead of time and include them as part of your plan.

A good analogy for this sort of planning is to think about it in much the same way you would as preparing for a lengthy trip. With a long journey you probably would not walk out the front door and then decide how you were going to get where you were going. There are too many other decisions to be made and tasks to be completed around each choice. If you decided you were going by plane, you would need to purchase tickets, and you would have to schedule your trip around flight times. If you decided to travel by car, you would need petrol money and possibly a map or GPS device. What about clothes? The clothes you will need are dependent on how long will you be gone and what the climate will be like. If it is far enough away that you will need to speak another language, you may need to either acquire that skill or at least come with something or someone to help you translate. What follows is a planning list that can help you think about and prepare for the tasks you are about to begin.

Knowing what resources will you need

Make a list of the resources you will need to complete a task. The first part of this list may appear to be so obvious that it should go without mention, but it is by far one of the most critical and one of the most overlooked. Have you ever planned a trip but forgotten your most comfortable pair of shoes or neglected to book a hotel room? If a missing resource is important, the entire project can come to a complete halt. Even if the missing resource is a minor component, it may still dramatically alter the end result. Learning activities are much the same in this way. List everything you need.

It is also important to keep in mind that resources may not be limited to physical objects such as paper or ink. Information can be a critical resource as well. In fact, one of the most often overlooked aspects in planning by new university students is just how much research, reading, and information they will need to complete assignments.

Knowing what skills will you need

Poor planning or a bad assumption in this area can be disastrous, especially if some part of the task has a steep learning curve. No matter how well you planned the other parts of the project, if there is some skill needed that you do not have and you have no idea how long it will take to learn, it can be a bad situation.

Imagine a scenario where one of your class projects is to create a poster. It is your intent to use some kind of imaging software to produce professional-looking graphics and charts for the poster, but you have never used the software in that way before. It seems easy enough, but once you begin, you find the charts keep printing out in the wrong resolution. You search online for a solution, but the only thing you can find requires you to recreate them all over again in a different setting. Unfortunately, that part of the project will now take twice as long.

It can be extremely difficult to recover from a situation like that, and it could have been prevented by taking the time to learn how to do it correctly before you began or by at least including in your schedule some time to learn and practise.

Set Deadlines

Of course, the best way to approach time management is to set realistic deadlines that take into account which elements are dependent on which others and the order in which they should be completed. Giving yourself two days to write a 20-page work of fiction is not very realistic when even many professional authors average only six pages per day. Your intentions may be well founded, but your use of unrealistic deadlines will not be very successful. Setting appropriate deadlines and sticking to them is very important.

Be Flexible

It is ironic that the item on this list that comes just after a strong encouragement to make deadlines and stick to them is the suggestion to be flexible. The reason that “be flexible” has made this list is because even the best-laid plans and most accurate time management efforts can take an unexpected turn. The idea behind being flexible is to readjust your plans and deadlines when something does happen to throw things off. The worst thing you could do in such a situation is panic or just stop working because the next step in your careful planning has suddenly become a roadblock. The moment when you see that something in your plan may become an issue is when to begin readjusting your plan.

Adjusting a plan along the way is incredibly common. In fact, many professional project managers have learned that it seems something always happens or there is always some delay, and they have developed an approach to deal with the inevitable need for some flexibility. In essence, you could say that they are even planning for problems, mistakes, or delays from the very beginning, and they will often add a little extra time for each task to help ensure an issue does not derail the entire project or that the completion of the project does not miss the final due date. As you work through tasks, make certain you are always monitoring and adapting to ensure you complete them.

Being flexible is helpful but sometimes it can feel overwhelming when there are too many changes needed within a short amount of time. It can help to stand back occasionally and look at the big picture to remind yourself of your major priorities for your life while at university. You may find it helpful to draw a learning map and place it on your wall to remind yourself of what really matters to you – where you will be flexible and where you won’t.

Goal setting and prioritisation are essential in the first year of university and beyond. Learning effective approaches to goal setting and managing priority conflicts takes time, but the steps covered in this chapter provide a strong foundation to get students started. Using a structured approach to identifying achievable goals that are personally meaningful allows you to plan for both short and long-term success. Overtime, prioritisation may also become easier as you gain experience. Keep the key points in mind to help maintain your motivation as you transition into university life.

• One of the most effective ways to keep motivated is to set goals.
• SMART Goals are a useful structured approach to plan, write down, commit to, and achieve meaningful goals.
• The key to reaching goals is to keep at it, keep yourself motivated, and overcome any obstacles along the way.
• Apply grit and adopt an attitude that looks directly to the end goal as the only acceptable outcome.
• Setting short-term goals helps you consider the necessary steps you’ll need to take to achieve your long-term goals, but it also helps to chunk a larger effort into smaller, more manageable tasks.
• Prioritisation is a key component of goal setting and time-management which involves ordering tasks, and allotting time for them based on their identified needs or value.
• If you find that you have a priority conflict, make certain you are aware of and understand all the ramifications to help make the best decision.
• Knowing what you need to do and planning for it can go a long way towards successfully completing tasks. You might need specific resources or skills.

Duckworth, A.L., Peterson, C., Matthews, M.D., & Kelly, D.R. (2007). Grit: Perseverance and passion for long-term goals. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology , 92 (6), 1087–1101. https://doi:10.1037/0022-3514.92.6.1087.

Stoltz, P. G. (2015). Leadership Grit. Leader to Leader ,  78 , 49–55. https://doi-org.ezproxy.usq.edu.au/10.1002/ltl.20205

Academic Success Copyright © 2021 by Kristen Lovric and Debi Howarth is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 4.0 International License , except where otherwise noted.

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1 Successful students have goals

Succeeding in college is rather like succeeding in life. It’s really much more about you than it is about college. So the most important place to start is to consider why you’re here, what matters to you, and what you expect to get out it. Even if you have already thought about these questions, it’s good to reaffirm your commitment to your plan as we begin to consider what’s really involved in being a college student. Let’s take a look at successful student have goals.

Students who have long term life and career goals see college as one step towards achieving their goals. This can set a purpose and a direction for students. It can increase students’ day-to-day and semester-to-semester motivation because they see that each course is part of a greater whole that will help them in the future. This can also help with persistence, with keeping at it when things are tough. There will be challenges during your college career. There may be times you feel like giving up or you just don’t feel like going to class, reading your textbook, or writing that paper. Having that purpose, that long term goal can help you decide to move past that challenge and keep going. We call this resiliency.

Goals help you set priorities and remain motivated and committed to your college success. Setting a long term goal usually leads to setting medium and short term goals. These are practical goals related to being a student that can help you make better decisions when considering your choices of how to spend your time. Setting priorities with shorter term goals can help you see what you need to do next. Working through goals can help you feel more in control and can reduce stress.

Attitude is the largest factor determining success in college. Work to stay positive and surround yourself with positive people, and you’ll find you are motivated to carry out the activities that will help you succeed in your courses.

Goal Setting

A goal is a result we intend to reach mostly through our own actions..

Things we do may move us closer to or farther away from that result. Studying moves us closer to success in a difficult course, while sleeping through the final examination may completely prevent reaching that goal. That’s fairly obvious in an extreme case, yet still a lot of college students don’t reach their goal of graduating. The problem may be a lack of commitment to the goal, but often students have conflicting goals. One way to prevent problems is to think about all your goals and priorities and to learn ways to manage your time, your studies, and your social life to best reach your goals.

It all begins with setting goals and thinking about priorities.

As you think about your own goals, think about more than just being a student. You’re also a person with individual needs and desires, hopes and dreams, plans and schemes. Your long-term goals likely include graduation and a career but may also involve social relationships with others, a romantic relationship, family, hobbies or other activities, where and how you live, and so on. While you are a student, you may not be actively pursuing all your goals with the same fervor, but they remain goals and are still important in your life.

Goals also vary in terms of time.

• Short-term goals focus on today and the next few days and perhaps weeks.
• Midterm goals involve plans for this school year and the time you plan to remain in college.
• Long-term goals may begin with graduating college and everything you want to happen thereafter.

Often your long-term goals (e.g., the kind of career you want) guide your midterm goals (getting the right education for that career), and your short term goals (such as doing well on an exam) become steps for reaching those larger goals. Thinking about your goals in this way helps you realize how even the little things you do every day can keep you moving toward your most important long-term goals.

Write out your goals.

You should literally write them down, because the act of finding the best words to describe your goals helps you think more clearly about them.

Follow these guidelines:

• Goals should be realistic. It’s good to dream and to challenge yourself, but your goals should relate to your personal strengths and abilities.
• Goals should be specific. Don’t write, “I will become a great musician;” instead, write, “I will finish my music degree and be employed in a symphony orchestra.”
• Goals should have a time frame. You won’t feel very motivated if your goal is vaguely “to finish college someday.” If you’re realistic and specific in your goals, you should also be able to project a time frame for reaching the goal.
• You should really want to reach the goal. We’re willing to work hard to reach goals we really care about, but we’re likely to give up when we encounter obstacles if we don’t feel strongly about a goal. If you’re doing something only because your parents or someone else wants you to, then it’s not your own personal goal — and you may have some more thinking to do about your life.

Everything people do and how they do it starts with attitude.

One student gets up with the alarm clock and cheerfully prepares for the day, planning to study for a couple hours between classes, go jogging later, and see a friend at dinner.

Another student oversleeps after partying too late last night, decides to skip his first class, somehow gets through later classes fueled by fast food and energy drinks while dreading tomorrow’s exam, and immediately accepts a friend’s suggestion to go out tonight instead of studying.

Both students could have identical situations, classes, finances, and academic preparation. There could be just one significant difference— but it’s the one that matters.

Here are some characteristics associated with a positive attitude:

• Enthusiasm for and enjoyment of daily activities
• Acceptance of responsibility for one’s actions and feeling good about success
• Generally upbeat mood and positive emotions, cheerfulness with others, and satisfaction with oneself
• Motivation to get the job done
• Flexibility to make changes when needed
• Ability to make productive, effective use of time

And here are some characteristics associated with a negative attitude:

• Frequent complaining
• Blaming others for anything that goes wrong
• Often experiencing negative emotions: anger, frustration, resentment
• Lack of motivation for work or studies
• Hesitant to change or seek improvement
• Unproductive use of time, procrastination

Stay Focused and Motivated

Okay, you’ve got a positive attitude. But you’ve got a lot of reading for classes to do tonight, a test tomorrow, and a paper due the next day. Maybe you’re a little bored with one of your reading assignments. Maybe you’d rather play a computer game. Uh oh—now what?

Attitude can change at almost any moment. One minute you’re enthusiastically starting a class project, and then maybe a friend drops by and suddenly all you want to do is close the books and relax a while, hang out with friends.

One of the characteristics of successful people is accepting that life is full of interruptions and change— and planning for it. Staying focused does not mean you become a boring person who does nothing but go to class and study all the time. You just need to make a plan.

Planning ahead is the single best way to stay focused and motivated to reach your goals. Don’t wait until the night before an exam. If you know you have a major exam in five days, start by reviewing the material and deciding how many hours of study you need. Then schedule those hours spread out over the next few days — at times when you are most alert and least likely to be distracted. Allow time for other activities, too, to reward yourself for successful studying. Then when the exam comes, you’re relaxed, you know the material, you’re in a good mood and confident, and you do well. Planning is mostly a matter of managing your time well, there is more about this topic in the Successful Students Get it Together chapter.

Here are some other tips for staying focused and motivated:

• Remember your successes, even small successes. As you begin a project or approach studying for a test, think about your past success on a different project or test. Remember how good it feels to succeed. Know you can succeed again.
• Get the important things done first. Stay focused, motivated and concentrate on the things that matter most. You’re about to sit down to read a chapter in a book you’re not much enjoying, and you suddenly notice some clothing piled up on a chair. “I really should clean up this place,” you think. “And I’d better get my laundry done before I run out of things to wear.” Don’t try to fool yourself into feeling you’re accomplishing something by doing laundry rather than studying. Stay focused!
• If you just can’t focus in on what you should be doing because the task seems too big and daunting, break the task into smaller, manageable pieces. Don’t start out thinking, “I need to study the next four hours,” but think, “I’ll spend the next thirty minutes going through my class notes from the last three weeks and figure out what topics I need to spend more time on.” It’s a lot easier to stay focused when you’re sitting down for thirty minutes at a time.
• Imitate successful people. Does a friend always seem better able to stick with studying or work until they get it done? What are they doing that you’re not? We all learn from observing others, and we can speed up that process by deliberately using the same strategies we see working with others. Visualize yourself studying in the same way and getting that same high grade on the test or paper.
• Separate yourself from unsuccessful people. This is the flip side of imitating successful people. If a roommate or a friend is always putting off things until the last minute or is distracted with other interests and activities, tell yourself how different you are. When you hear other students complaining about how hard a class is or bragging about not studying or attending class, visualize yourself as not being like them at all.
• Reward yourself when you complete a significant task – but only when you are done. Some people seem able to stay focused only when there’s a reward waiting.

Thinking about your goals gets you started, but it’s also important to think about priorities. We often use the word “priorities” to refer to how important something is to us. We might think, this is a really important goal, and that is less important.

Try this experiment: go back to the goals you wrote and see if you can rank each goal as a

• Top priority
• Middle priority
• Lowest priority

It sounds easy, but do you actually feel comfortable doing that? Maybe you gave a priority 1 to passing your courses and a priority 3 to playing your guitar. So what does that mean—that you never play guitar again, or at least not while in college? Whenever you have an hour free between class and work, you have to study because that’s the higher priority? What about all your other goals — do you have to ignore everything that’s not a priority 1? And what happens when you have to choose among different goals that are both number 1 priorities?

In reality, priorities don’t work quite that way. It doesn’t make a lot of sense to try to rank goals as always more or less important. The question of priority is really a question of what is more important at a specific time. It is important to do well in your classes, but it’s also important to have a social life and enjoy your time off from studying. You shouldn’t have to choose between the two — except at any given time.

Priorities always involve time: what is most important to do right now. As we’ll see later, time management is mostly a way to juggle priorities so you can meet all your goals.

When you manage your time well, you don’t have to ignore some goals completely in order to meet other goals. In other words, you don’t have to give up your life when you register for college—but you may need to work on managing your life more effectively. But time management works only when you’re committed to your goals. Attitude and motivation are very important. If you haven’t yet developed an attitude for success, all the time management skills in the world won’t keep you focused and motivated to succeed.

Key Takeaways

• Having long-term goals (college diploma) lead to setting midterm goals (by semester) which can be broken down into short-term goals (completing an assignment).
• Writing out your goals helps you think more clearly about what you want to achieve.
• Having enthusiasm for daily life, accepting responsibility, being motivated and flexible, and making effective use of time are signs of a positive attitude.
• Planning ahead is the single best way to stay focused and motivated to reach your goals.
• When deciding what to do with your time, considering your priorities is a good way to decide what to do next.
• Goals help you set priorities and remain committed to your college success.

A Guide for Successful Students Copyright © 2019 by St. Clair College is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 4.0 International License , except where otherwise noted.

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Eight brilliant student essays on what matters most in life.

Read winning essays from our spring 2019 student writing contest.

For the spring 2019 student writing contest, we invited students to read the YES! article “Three Things That Matter Most in Youth and Old Age” by Nancy Hill. Like the author, students interviewed someone significantly older than them about the three things that matter most in life. Students then wrote about what they learned, and about how their interviewees’ answers compare to their own top priorities.

The Winners

From the hundreds of essays written, these eight were chosen as winners. Be sure to read the author’s response to the essay winners and the literary gems that caught our eye. Plus, we share an essay from teacher Charles Sanderson, who also responded to the writing prompt.

Middle School Winner: Rory Leyva

High School Winner:  Praethong Klomsum

University Winner:  Emily Greenbaum

Powerful Voice Winner: Amanda Schwaben

Powerful Voice Winner: Antonia Mills

Powerful Voice Winner:  Isaac Ziemba

Powerful Voice Winner: Lily Hersch

“Tell It Like It Is” Interview Winner: Jonas Buckner

From the Author: Response to Student Winners

Literary Gems

From A Teacher: Charles Sanderson

From the Author: Response to Charles Sanderson

Middle School Winner

Village Home Education Resource Center, Portland, Ore.

The Lessons Of Mortality 

“As I’ve aged, things that are more personal to me have become somewhat less important. Perhaps I’ve become less self-centered with the awareness of mortality, how short one person’s life is.” This is how my 72-year-old grandma believes her values have changed over the course of her life. Even though I am only 12 years old, I know my life won’t last forever, and someday I, too, will reflect on my past decisions. We were all born to exist and eventually die, so we have evolved to value things in the context of mortality.

One of the ways I feel most alive is when I play roller derby. I started playing for the Rose City Rollers Juniors two years ago, and this year, I made the Rosebud All-Stars travel team. Roller derby is a fast-paced, full-contact sport. The physicality and intense training make me feel in control of and present in my body.

My roller derby team is like a second family to me. Adolescence is complicated. We understand each other in ways no one else can. I love my friends more than I love almost anything else. My family would have been higher on my list a few years ago, but as I’ve aged it has been important to make my own social connections.

Music led me to roller derby.  I started out jam skating at the roller rink. Jam skating is all about feeling the music. It integrates gymnastics, breakdancing, figure skating, and modern dance with R & B and hip hop music. When I was younger, I once lay down in the DJ booth at the roller rink and was lulled to sleep by the drawl of wheels rolling in rhythm and people talking about the things they came there to escape. Sometimes, I go up on the roof of my house at night to listen to music and feel the wind rustle my hair. These unique sensations make me feel safe like nothing else ever has.

My grandma tells me, “Being close with family and friends is the most important thing because I haven’t

always had that.” When my grandma was two years old, her father died. Her mother became depressed and moved around a lot, which made it hard for my grandma to make friends. Once my grandma went to college, she made lots of friends. She met my grandfather, Joaquin Leyva when she was working as a park ranger and he was a surfer. They bought two acres of land on the edge of a redwood forest and had a son and a daughter. My grandma created a stable family that was missing throughout her early life.

My grandma is motivated to maintain good health so she can be there for her family. I can relate because I have to be fit and strong for my team. Since she lost my grandfather to cancer, she realizes how lucky she is to have a functional body and no life-threatening illnesses. My grandma tries to eat well and exercise, but she still struggles with depression. Over time, she has learned that reaching out to others is essential to her emotional wellbeing.  

Caring for the earth is also a priority for my grandma I’ve been lucky to learn from my grandma. She’s taught me how to hunt for fossils in the desert and find shells on the beach. Although my grandma grew up with no access to the wilderness, she admired the green open areas of urban cemeteries. In college, she studied geology and hiked in the High Sierras. For years, she’s been an advocate for conserving wildlife habitat and open spaces.

Our priorities may seem different, but it all comes down to basic human needs. We all desire a purpose, strive to be happy, and need to be loved. Like Nancy Hill says in the YES! Magazine article “Three Things That Matter Most in Youth and Old Age,” it can be hard to decipher what is important in life. I believe that the constant search for satisfaction and meaning is the only thing everyone has in common. We all want to know what matters, and we walk around this confusing world trying to find it. The lessons I’ve learned from my grandma about forging connections, caring for my body, and getting out in the world inspire me to live my life my way before it’s gone.

Rory Leyva is a seventh-grader from Portland, Oregon. Rory skates for the Rosebuds All-Stars roller derby team. She loves listening to music and hanging out with her friends.

High School Winner

Praethong Klomsum

  Santa Monica High School, Santa Monica, Calif.

Time Only Moves Forward

Sandra Hernandez gazed at the tiny house while her mother’s gentle hands caressed her shoulders. It wasn’t much, especially for a family of five. This was 1960, she was 17, and her family had just moved to Culver City.

Flash forward to 2019. Sandra sits in a rocking chair, knitting a blanket for her latest grandchild, in the same living room. Sandra remembers working hard to feed her eight children. She took many different jobs before settling behind the cash register at a Japanese restaurant called Magos. “It was a struggle, and my husband Augustine, was planning to join the military at that time, too.”

In the YES! Magazine article “Three Things That Matter Most in Youth and Old Age,” author Nancy Hill states that one of the most important things is “…connecting with others in general, but in particular with those who have lived long lives.” Sandra feels similarly. It’s been hard for Sandra to keep in contact with her family, which leaves her downhearted some days. “It’s important to maintain that connection you have with your family, not just next-door neighbors you talk to once a month.”

Despite her age, Sandra is a daring woman. Taking risks is important to her, and she’ll try anything—from skydiving to hiking. Sandra has some regrets from the past, but nowadays, she doesn’t wonder about the “would have, could have, should haves.” She just goes for it with a smile.

Sandra thought harder about her last important thing, the blue and green blanket now finished and covering

her lap. “I’ve definitely lived a longer life than most, and maybe this is just wishful thinking, but I hope I can see the day my great-grandchildren are born.” She’s laughing, but her eyes look beyond what’s in front of her. Maybe she is reminiscing about the day she held her son for the first time or thinking of her grandchildren becoming parents. I thank her for her time and she waves it off, offering me a styrofoam cup of lemonade before I head for the bus station.

The bus is sparsely filled. A voice in my head reminds me to finish my 10-page history research paper before spring break. I take a window seat and pull out my phone and earbuds. My playlist is already on shuffle, and I push away thoughts of that dreaded paper. Music has been a constant in my life—from singing my lungs out in kindergarten to Barbie’s “I Need To Know,” to jamming out to Taylor Swift’s “Blank Space” in sixth grade, to BTS’s “Intro: Never Mind” comforting me when I’m at my lowest. Music is my magic shop, a place where I can trade away my fears for calm.

I’ve always been afraid of doing something wrong—not finishing my homework or getting a C when I can do better. When I was 8, I wanted to be like the big kids. As I got older, I realized that I had exchanged my childhood longing for the 48 pack of crayons for bigger problems, balancing grades, a social life, and mental stability—all at once. I’m going to get older whether I like it or not, so there’s no point forcing myself to grow up faster.  I’m learning to live in the moment.

The bus is approaching my apartment, where I know my comfy bed and a home-cooked meal from my mom are waiting. My mom is hard-working, confident, and very stubborn. I admire her strength of character. She always keeps me in line, even through my rebellious phases.

My best friend sends me a text—an update on how broken her laptop is. She is annoying. She says the stupidest things and loves to state the obvious. Despite this, she never fails to make me laugh until my cheeks feel numb. The rest of my friends are like that too—loud, talkative, and always brightening my day. Even friends I stopped talking to have a place in my heart. Recently, I’ve tried to reconnect with some of them. This interview was possible because a close friend from sixth grade offered to introduce me to Sandra, her grandmother.  

I’m decades younger than Sandra, so my view of what’s important isn’t as broad as hers, but we share similar values, with friends and family at the top. I have a feeling that when Sandra was my age, she used to love music, too. Maybe in a few decades, when I’m sitting in my rocking chair, drawing in my sketchbook, I’ll remember this article and think back fondly to the days when life was simple.

Praethong Klomsum is a tenth-grader at Santa Monica High School in Santa Monica, California.  Praethong has a strange affinity for rhyme games and is involved in her school’s dance team. She enjoys drawing and writing, hoping to impact people willing to listen to her thoughts and ideas.

University Winner

Emily Greenbaum

Kent State University, Kent, Ohio 

The Life-Long War

Every morning we open our eyes, ready for a new day. Some immediately turn to their phones and social media. Others work out or do yoga. For a certain person, a deep breath and the morning sun ground him. He hears the clink-clank of his wife cooking low sodium meat for breakfast—doctor’s orders! He sees that the other side of the bed is already made, the dogs are no longer in the room, and his clothes are set out nicely on the loveseat.

Today, though, this man wakes up to something different: faded cream walls and jello. This person, my hero, is Master Chief Petty Officer Roger James.

I pulled up my chair close to Roger’s vinyl recliner so I could hear him above the noise of the beeping dialysis machine. I noticed Roger would occasionally glance at his wife Susan with sparkly eyes when he would recall memories of the war or their grandkids. He looked at Susan like she walked on water.

Roger James served his country for thirty years. Now, he has enlisted in another type of war. He suffers from a rare blood cancer—the result of the wars he fought in. Roger has good and bad days. He says, “The good outweighs the bad, so I have to be grateful for what I have on those good days.”

When Roger retired, he never thought the effects of the war would reach him. The once shallow wrinkles upon his face become deeper, as he tells me, “It’s just cancer. Others are suffering from far worse. I know I’ll make it.”

Like Nancy Hill did in her article “Three Things that Matter Most in Youth and Old Age,” I asked Roger, “What are the three most important things to you?” James answered, “My wife Susan, my grandkids, and church.”

Roger and Susan served together in the Vietnam war. She was a nurse who treated his cuts and scrapes one day. I asked Roger why he chose Susan. He said, “Susan told me to look at her while she cleaned me up. ‘This may sting, but don’t be a baby.’ When I looked into her eyes, I felt like she was looking into my soul, and I didn’t want her to leave. She gave me this sense of home. Every day I wake up, she makes me feel the same way, and I fall in love with her all over again.”

Roger and Susan have two kids and four grandkids, with great-grandchildren on the way. He claims that his grandkids give him the youth that he feels slowly escaping from his body. This adoring grandfather is energized by coaching t-ball and playing evening card games with the grandkids.

The last thing on his list was church. His oldest daughter married a pastor. Together they founded a church. Roger said that the connection between his faith and family is important to him because it gave him a reason to want to live again. I learned from Roger that when you’re across the ocean, you tend to lose sight of why you are fighting. When Roger returned, he didn’t have the will to live. Most days were a struggle, adapting back into a society that lacked empathy for the injuries, pain, and psychological trauma carried by returning soldiers. Church changed that for Roger and gave him a sense of purpose.

When I began this project, my attitude was to just get the assignment done. I never thought I could view Master Chief Petty Officer Roger James as more than a role model, but he definitely changed my mind. It’s as if Roger magically lit a fire inside of me and showed me where one’s true passions should lie. I see our similarities and embrace our differences. We both value family and our own connections to home—his home being church and mine being where I can breathe the easiest.

Master Chief Petty Officer Roger James has shown me how to appreciate what I have around me and that every once in a while, I should step back and stop to smell the roses. As we concluded the interview, amidst squeaky clogs and the stale smell of bleach and bedpans, I looked to Roger, his kind, tired eyes, and weathered skin, with a deeper sense of admiration, knowing that his values still run true, no matter what he faces.

Emily Greenbaum is a senior at Kent State University, graduating with a major in Conflict Management and minor in Geography. Emily hopes to use her major to facilitate better conversations, while she works in the Washington, D.C. area.  

Powerful Voice Winner

Amanda Schwaben

Wise Words From Winnie the Pooh

As I read through Nancy Hill’s article “Three Things That Matter Most in Youth and Old Age,” I was comforted by the similar responses given by both children and older adults. The emphasis participants placed on family, social connections, and love was not only heartwarming but hopeful. While the messages in the article filled me with warmth, I felt a twinge of guilt building within me. As a twenty-one-year-old college student weeks from graduation, I honestly don’t think much about the most important things in life. But if I was asked, I would most likely say family, friendship, and love. As much as I hate to admit it, I often find myself obsessing over achieving a successful career and finding a way to “save the world.”

A few weeks ago, I was at my family home watching the new Winnie the Pooh movie Christopher Robin with my mom and younger sister. Well, I wasn’t really watching. I had my laptop in front of me, and I was aggressively typing up an assignment. Halfway through the movie, I realized I left my laptop charger in my car. I walked outside into the brisk March air. Instinctively, I looked up. The sky was perfectly clear, revealing a beautiful array of stars. When my twin sister and I were in high school, we would always take a moment to look up at the sparkling night sky before we came into the house after soccer practice.

I think that was the last time I stood in my driveway and gazed at the stars. I did not get the laptop charger from

my car; instead, I turned around and went back inside. I shut my laptop and watched the rest of the movie. My twin sister loves Winnie the Pooh. So much so that my parents got her a stuffed animal version of him for Christmas. While I thought he was adorable and a token of my childhood, I did not really understand her obsession. However, it was clear to me after watching the movie. Winnie the Pooh certainly had it figured out. He believed that the simple things in life were the most important: love, friendship, and having fun.

I thought about asking my mom right then what the three most important things were to her, but I decided not to. I just wanted to be in the moment. I didn’t want to be doing homework. It was a beautiful thing to just sit there and be present with my mom and sister.

I did ask her, though, a couple of weeks later. Her response was simple.  All she said was family, health, and happiness. When she told me this, I imagined Winnie the Pooh smiling. I think he would be proud of that answer.

I was not surprised by my mom’s reply. It suited her perfectly. I wonder if we relearn what is most important when we grow older—that the pressure to be successful subsides. Could it be that valuing family, health, and happiness is what ends up saving the world?

Amanda Schwaben is a graduating senior from Kent State University with a major in Applied Conflict Management. Amanda also has minors in Psychology and Interpersonal Communication. She hopes to further her education and focus on how museums not only preserve history but also promote peace.

Antonia Mills

Rachel Carson High School, Brooklyn, N.Y. 

Decoding The Butterfly

For a caterpillar to become a butterfly, it must first digest itself. The caterpillar, overwhelmed by accumulating tissue, splits its skin open to form its protective shell, the chrysalis, and later becomes the pretty butterfly we all know and love. There are approximately 20,000 species of butterflies, and just as every species is different, so is the life of every butterfly. No matter how long and hard a caterpillar has strived to become the colorful and vibrant butterfly that we marvel at on a warm spring day, it does not live a long life. A butterfly can live for a year, six months, two weeks, and even as little as twenty-four hours.

I have often wondered if butterflies live long enough to be blissful of blue skies. Do they take time to feast upon the sweet nectar they crave, midst their hustling life of pollinating pretty flowers? Do they ever take a lull in their itineraries, or are they always rushing towards completing their four-stage metamorphosis? Has anyone asked the butterfly, “Who are you?” instead of “What are you”? Or, How did you get here, on my windowsill?  How did you become ‘you’?

Humans are similar to butterflies. As a caterpillar

Suzanna Ruby/Getty Images

becomes a butterfly, a baby becomes an elder. As a butterfly soars through summer skies, an elder watches summer skies turn into cold winter nights and back toward summer skies yet again.  And as a butterfly flits slowly by the porch light, a passerby makes assumptions about the wrinkled, slow-moving elder, who is sturdier than he appears. These creatures are not seen for who they are—who they were—because people have “better things to do” or they are too busy to ask, “How are you”?

Our world can be a lonely place. Pressured by expectations, haunted by dreams, overpowered by weakness, and drowned out by lofty goals, we tend to forget ourselves—and others. Rather than hang onto the strands of our diminishing sanity, we might benefit from listening to our elders. Many elders have experienced setbacks in their young lives. Overcoming hardship and surviving to old age is wisdom that they carry.  We can learn from them—and can even make their day by taking the time to hear their stories.  

Nancy Hill, who wrote the YES! Magazine article “Three Things That Matter Most in Youth and Old Age,” was right: “We live among such remarkable people, yet few know their stories.” I know a lot about my grandmother’s life, and it isn’t as serene as my own. My grandmother, Liza, who cooks every day, bakes bread on holidays for our neighbors, brings gifts to her doctor out of the kindness of her heart, and makes conversation with neighbors even though she is isn’t fluent in English—Russian is her first language—has struggled all her life. Her mother, Anna, a single parent, had tuberculosis, and even though she had an inviolable spirit, she was too frail to care for four children. She passed away when my grandmother was sixteen, so my grandmother and her siblings spent most of their childhood in an orphanage. My grandmother got married at nineteen to my grandfather, Pinhas. He was a man who loved her more than he loved himself and was a godsend to every person he met. Liza was—and still is—always quick to do what was best for others, even if that person treated her poorly. My grandmother has lived with physical pain all her life, yet she pushed herself to climb heights that she wasn’t ready for. Against all odds, she has lived to tell her story to people who are willing to listen. And I always am.

I asked my grandmother, “What are three things most important to you?” Her answer was one that I already expected: One, for everyone to live long healthy lives. Two, for you to graduate from college. Three, for you to always remember that I love you.

What may be basic to you means the world to my grandmother. She just wants what she never had the chance to experience: a healthy life, an education, and the chance to express love to the people she values. The three things that matter most to her may be so simple and ordinary to outsiders, but to her, it is so much more. And who could take that away?

Antonia Mills was born and raised in Brooklyn, New York and attends Rachel Carson High School.  Antonia enjoys creative activities, including writing, painting, reading, and baking. She hopes to pursue culinary arts professionally in the future. One of her favorite quotes is, “When you start seeing your worth, you’ll find it harder to stay around people who don’t.” -Emily S.P.  

  Powerful Voice Winner

   Isaac Ziemba

Odyssey Multiage Program, Bainbridge Island, Wash. 

This Former State Trooper Has His Priorities Straight: Family, Climate Change, and Integrity

I have a personal connection to people who served in the military and first responders. My uncle is a first responder on the island I live on, and my dad retired from the Navy. That was what made a man named Glen Tyrell, a state trooper for 25 years, 2 months and 9 days, my first choice to interview about what three things matter in life. In the YES! Magazine article “The Three Things That Matter Most in Youth and Old Age,” I learned that old and young people have a great deal in common. I know that’s true because Glen and I care about a lot of the same things.

For Glen, family is at the top of his list of important things. “My wife was, and is, always there for me. My daughters mean the world to me, too, but Penny is my partner,” Glen said. I can understand why Glen’s wife is so important to him. She’s family. Family will always be there for you.

Glen loves his family, and so do I with all my heart. My dad especially means the world to me. He is my top supporter and tells me that if I need help, just “say the word.” When we are fishing or crabbing, sometimes I

think, what if these times were erased from my memory? I wouldn’t be able to describe the horrible feeling that would rush through my mind, and I’m sure that Glen would feel the same about his wife.

My uncle once told me that the world is always going to change over time. It’s what the world has turned out to be that worries me. Both Glen and I are extremely concerned about climate change and the effect that rising temperatures have on animals and their habitats. We’re driving them to extinction. Some people might say, “So what? Animals don’t pay taxes or do any of the things we do.” What we are doing to them is like the Black Death times 100.

Glen is also frustrated by how much plastic we use and where it ends up. He would be shocked that an explorer recently dived to the deepest part of the Pacific Ocean—seven miles!— and discovered a plastic bag and candy wrappers. Glen told me that, unfortunately, his generation did the damage and my generation is here to fix it. We need to take better care of Earth because if we don’t, we, as a species, will have failed.

Both Glen and I care deeply for our families and the earth, but for our third important value, I chose education and Glen chose integrity. My education is super important to me because without it, I would be a blank slate. I wouldn’t know how to figure out problems. I wouldn’t be able to tell right from wrong. I wouldn’t understand the Bill of Rights. I would be stuck. Everyone should be able to go to school, no matter where they’re from or who they are.  It makes me angry and sad to think that some people, especially girls, get shot because they are trying to go to school. I understand how lucky I am.

Integrity is sacred to Glen—I could tell by the serious tone of Glen’s voice when he told me that integrity was the code he lived by as a former state trooper. He knew that he had the power to change a person’s life, and he was committed to not abusing that power.  When Glen put someone under arrest—and my uncle says the same—his judgment and integrity were paramount. “Either you’re right or you’re wrong.” You can’t judge a person by what you think, you can only judge a person from what you know.”

I learned many things about Glen and what’s important in life, but there is one thing that stands out—something Glen always does and does well. Glen helps people. He did it as a state trooper, and he does it in our school, where he works on construction projects. Glen told me that he believes that our most powerful tools are writing and listening to others. I think those tools are important, too, but I also believe there are other tools to help solve many of our problems and create a better future: to be compassionate, to create caring relationships, and to help others. Just like Glen Tyrell does each and every day.

Isaac Ziemba is in seventh grade at the Odyssey Multiage Program on a small island called Bainbridge near Seattle, Washington. Isaac’s favorite subject in school is history because he has always been interested in how the past affects the future. In his spare time, you can find Isaac hunting for crab with his Dad, looking for artifacts around his house with his metal detector, and having fun with his younger cousin, Conner.     

Lily Hersch

 The Crest Academy, Salida, Colo.

The Phone Call

Dear Grandpa,

In my short span of life—12 years so far—you’ve taught me a lot of important life lessons that I’ll always have with me. Some of the values I talk about in this writing I’ve learned from you.

Dedicated to my Gramps.

In the YES! Magazine article “Three Things That Matter Most in Youth and Old Age,” author and photographer Nancy Hill asked people to name the three things that mattered most to them. After reading the essay prompt for the article, I immediately knew who I wanted to interview: my grandpa Gil.      

My grandpa was born on January 25, 1942. He lived in a minuscule tenement in The Bronx with his mother,

father, and brother. His father wasn’t around much, and, when he was, he was reticent and would snap occasionally, revealing his constrained mental pain. My grandpa says this happened because my great grandfather did not have a father figure in his life. His mother was a classy, sharp lady who was the head secretary at a local police district station. My grandpa and his brother Larry did not care for each other. Gramps said he was very close to his mother, and Larry wasn’t. Perhaps Larry was envious for what he didn’t have.

Decades after little to no communication with his brother, my grandpa decided to spontaneously visit him in Florida, where he resided with his wife. Larry was taken aback at the sudden reappearance of his brother and told him to leave. Since then, the two brothers have not been in contact. My grandpa doesn’t even know if Larry is alive.         

My grandpa is now a retired lawyer, married to my wonderful grandma, and living in a pretty house with an ugly dog named BoBo.

So, what’s important to you, Gramps?

He paused a second, then replied, “Family, kindness, and empathy.”

“Family, because it’s my family. It’s important to stay connected with your family. My brother, father, and I never connected in the way I wished, and sometimes I contemplated what could’ve happened.  But you can’t change the past. So, that’s why family’s important to me.”

Family will always be on my “Top Three Most Important Things” list, too. I can’t imagine not having my older brother, Zeke, or my grandma in my life. I wonder how other kids feel about their families? How do kids trapped and separated from their families at the U.S.-Mexico border feel?  What about orphans? Too many questions, too few answers.

“Kindness, because growing up and not seeing a lot of kindness made me realize how important it is to have that in the world. Kindness makes the world go round.”

What is kindness? Helping my brother, Eli, who has Down syndrome, get ready in the morning? Telling people what they need to hear, rather than what they want to hear? Maybe, for now, I’ll put wisdom, not kindness, on my list.

“Empathy, because of all the killings and shootings [in this country.] We also need to care for people—people who are not living in as good circumstances as I have. Donald Trump and other people I’ve met have no empathy. Empathy is very important.”

Empathy is something I’ve felt my whole life. It’ll always be important to me like it is important to my grandpa. My grandpa shows his empathy when he works with disabled children. Once he took a disabled child to a Christina Aguilera concert because that child was too young to go by himself. The moments I feel the most empathy are when Eli gets those looks from people. Seeing Eli wonder why people stare at him like he’s a freak makes me sad, and annoyed that they have the audacity to stare.

After this 2 minute and 36-second phone call, my grandpa has helped me define what’s most important to me at this time in my life: family, wisdom, and empathy. Although these things are important now, I realize they can change and most likely will.

When I’m an old woman, I envision myself scrambling through a stack of storage boxes and finding this paper. Perhaps after reading words from my 12-year-old self, I’ll ask myself “What’s important to me?”

Lily Hersch is a sixth-grader at Crest Academy in Salida, Colorado. Lily is an avid indoorsman, finding joy in competitive spelling, art, and of course, writing. She does not like Swiss cheese.

  “Tell It Like It Is” Interview Winner

Jonas Buckner

KIPP: Gaston College Preparatory, Gaston, N.C.

Lessons My Nana Taught Me

I walked into the house. In the other room, I heard my cousin screaming at his game. There were a lot of Pioneer Woman dishes everywhere. The room had the television on max volume. The fan in the other room was on. I didn’t know it yet, but I was about to learn something powerful.

I was in my Nana’s house, and when I walked in, she said, “Hey Monkey Butt.”

I said, “Hey Nana.”

Before the interview, I was talking to her about what I was gonna interview her on. Also, I had asked her why I might have wanted to interview her, and she responded with, “Because you love me, and I love you too.”

Now, it was time to start the interview. The first

question I asked was the main and most important question ever: “What three things matter most to you and you only?”

She thought of it very thoughtfully and responded with, “My grandchildren, my children, and my health.”

Then, I said, “OK, can you please tell me more about your health?”

She responded with, “My health is bad right now. I have heart problems, blood sugar, and that’s about it.” When she said it, she looked at me and smiled because she loved me and was happy I chose her to interview.

I replied with, “K um, why is it important to you?”

She smiled and said, “Why is it…Why is my health important? Well, because I want to live a long time and see my grandchildren grow up.”

I was scared when she said that, but she still smiled. I was so happy, and then I said, “Has your health always been important to you.”

She responded with “Nah.”

Then, I asked, “Do you happen to have a story to help me understand your reasoning?”

She said, “No, not really.”

Now we were getting into the next set of questions. I said, “Remember how you said that your grandchildren matter to you? Can you please tell me why they matter to you?”

Then, she responded with, “So I can spend time with them, play with them, and everything.”

Next, I asked the same question I did before: “Have you always loved your grandchildren?” 

She responded with, “Yes, they have always been important to me.”

Then, the next two questions I asked she had no response to at all. She was very happy until I asked, “Why do your children matter most to you?”

She had a frown on and responded, “My daughter Tammy died a long time ago.”

Then, at this point, the other questions were answered the same as the other ones. When I left to go home I was thinking about how her answers were similar to mine. She said health, and I care about my health a lot, and I didn’t say, but I wanted to. She also didn’t have answers for the last two questions on each thing, and I was like that too.

The lesson I learned was that no matter what, always keep pushing because even though my aunt or my Nana’s daughter died, she kept on pushing and loving everyone. I also learned that everything should matter to us. Once again, I chose to interview my Nana because she matters to me, and I know when she was younger she had a lot of things happen to her, so I wanted to know what she would say. The point I’m trying to make is that be grateful for what you have and what you have done in life.

Jonas Buckner is a sixth-grader at KIPP: Gaston College Preparatory in Gaston, North Carolina. Jonas’ favorite activities are drawing, writing, math, piano, and playing AltSpace VR. He found his passion for writing in fourth grade when he wrote a quick autobiography. Jonas hopes to become a horror writer someday.

From The Author: Responses to Student Winners

Dear Emily, Isaac, Antonia, Rory, Praethong, Amanda, Lily, and Jonas,

Your thought-provoking essays sent my head spinning. The more I read, the more impressed I was with the depth of thought, beauty of expression, and originality. It left me wondering just how to capture all of my reactions in a single letter. After multiple false starts, I’ve landed on this: I will stick to the theme of three most important things.

The three things I found most inspirational about your essays:

You listened.

You connected.

We live in troubled times. Tensions mount between countries, cultures, genders, religious beliefs, and generations. If we fail to find a way to understand each other, to see similarities between us, the future will be fraught with increased hostility.

You all took critical steps toward connecting with someone who might not value the same things you do by asking a person who is generations older than you what matters to them. Then, you listened to their answers. You saw connections between what is important to them and what is important to you. Many of you noted similarities, others wondered if your own list of the three most important things would change as you go through life. You all saw the validity of the responses you received and looked for reasons why your interviewees have come to value what they have.

It is through these things—asking, listening, and connecting—that we can begin to bridge the differences in experiences and beliefs that are currently dividing us.

Individual observations

Each one of you made observations that all of us, regardless of age or experience, would do well to keep in mind. I chose one quote from each person and trust those reading your essays will discover more valuable insights.

“Our priorities may seem different, but they come back to basic human needs. We all desire a purpose, strive to be happy, and work to make a positive impact.” 

“You can’t judge a person by what you think , you can only judge a person by what you know .”

Emily (referencing your interviewee, who is battling cancer):

“Master Chief Petty Officer James has shown me how to appreciate what I have around me.”

Lily (quoting your grandfather):

“Kindness makes the world go round.”

“Everything should matter to us.”

Praethong (quoting your interviewee, Sandra, on the importance of family):

“It’s important to always maintain that connection you have with each other, your family, not just next-door neighbors you talk to once a month.”

“I wonder if maybe we relearn what is most important when we grow older. That the pressure to be successful subsides and that valuing family, health, and happiness is what ends up saving the world.”

“Listen to what others have to say. Listen to the people who have already experienced hardship. You will learn from them and you can even make their day by giving them a chance to voice their thoughts.”

I end this letter to you with the hope that you never stop asking others what is most important to them and that you to continue to take time to reflect on what matters most to you…and why. May you never stop asking, listening, and connecting with others, especially those who may seem to be unlike you. Keep writing, and keep sharing your thoughts and observations with others, for your ideas are awe-inspiring.

I also want to thank the more than 1,000 students who submitted essays. Together, by sharing what’s important to us with others, especially those who may believe or act differently, we can fill the world with joy, peace, beauty, and love.

We received many outstanding essays for the Winter 2019 Student Writing Competition. Though not every participant can win the contest, we’d like to share some excerpts that caught our eye:

Whether it is a painting on a milky canvas with watercolors or pasting photos onto a scrapbook with her granddaughters, it is always a piece of artwork to her. She values the things in life that keep her in the moment, while still exploring things she may not have initially thought would bring her joy.

—Ondine Grant-Krasno, Immaculate Heart Middle School, Los Angeles, Calif.

“Ganas”… It means “desire” in Spanish. My ganas is fueled by my family’s belief in me. I cannot and will not fail them. 

—Adan Rios, Lane Community College, Eugene, Ore.

I hope when I grow up I can have the love for my kids like my grandma has for her kids. She makes being a mother even more of a beautiful thing than it already is.

—Ashley Shaw, Columbus City Prep School for Girls, Grove City, Ohio

You become a collage of little pieces of your friends and family. They also encourage you to be the best you can be. They lift you up onto the seat of your bike, they give you the first push, and they don’t hesitate to remind you that everything will be alright when you fall off and scrape your knee.

— Cecilia Stanton, Bellafonte Area Middle School, Bellafonte, Pa.

Without good friends, I wouldn’t know what I would do to endure the brutal machine of public education.

—Kenneth Jenkins, Garrison Middle School, Walla Walla, Wash.

My dog, as ridiculous as it may seem, is a beautiful example of what we all should aspire to be. We should live in the moment, not stress, and make it our goal to lift someone’s spirits, even just a little.

—Kate Garland, Immaculate Heart Middle School, Los Angeles, Calif. 

I strongly hope that every child can spare more time to accompany their elderly parents when they are struggling, and moving forward, and give them more care and patience. so as to truly achieve the goal of “you accompany me to grow up, and I will accompany you to grow old.”

—Taiyi Li, Lane Community College, Eugene, Ore.

I have three cats, and they are my brothers and sisters. We share a special bond that I think would not be possible if they were human. Since they do not speak English, we have to find other ways to connect, and I think that those other ways can be more powerful than language.

—Maya Dombroskie, Delta Program Middle School, Boulsburg, Pa.

We are made to love and be loved. To have joy and be relational. As a member of the loneliest generation in possibly all of history, I feel keenly aware of the need for relationships and authentic connection. That is why I decided to talk to my grandmother.

—Luke Steinkamp, Kent State University, Kent, Ohio

After interviewing my grandma and writing my paper, I realized that as we grow older, the things that are important to us don’t change, what changes is why those things are important to us.

—Emily Giffer, Our Lady Star of the Sea, Grosse Pointe Woods, Mich.

The media works to marginalize elders, often isolating them and their stories, and the wealth of knowledge that comes with their additional years of lived experiences. It also undermines the depth of children’s curiosity and capacity to learn and understand. When the worlds of elders and children collide, a classroom opens.

—Cristina Reitano, City College of San Francisco, San Francisco, Calif.

My values, although similar to my dad, only looked the same in the sense that a shadow is similar to the object it was cast on.

—Timofey Lisenskiy, Santa Monica High School, Santa Monica, Calif.

I can release my anger through writing without having to take it out on someone. I can escape and be a different person; it feels good not to be myself for a while. I can make up my own characters, so I can be someone different every day, and I think that’s pretty cool.

—Jasua Carillo, Wellness, Business, and Sports School, Woodburn, Ore. 

Notice how all the important things in his life are people: the people who he loves and who love him back. This is because “people are more important than things like money or possessions, and families are treasures,” says grandpa Pat. And I couldn’t agree more.

—Brody Hartley, Garrison Middle School, Walla Walla, Wash.  

Curiosity for other people’s stories could be what is needed to save the world.

—Noah Smith, Kent State University, Kent, Ohio

Peace to me is a calm lake without a ripple in sight. It’s a starry night with a gentle breeze that pillows upon your face. It’s the absence of arguments, fighting, or war. It’s when egos stop working against each other and finally begin working with each other. Peace is free from fear, anxiety, and depression. To me, peace is an important ingredient in the recipe of life.

—JP Bogan, Lane Community College, Eugene, Ore.

From A Teacher

Charles Sanderson

Wellness, Business and Sports School, Woodburn, Ore. 

The Birthday Gift

I’ve known Jodelle for years, watching her grow from a quiet and timid twelve-year-old to a young woman who just returned from India, where she played Kabaddi, a kind of rugby meets Red Rover.

One of my core beliefs as an educator is to show up for the things that matter to kids, so I go to their games, watch their plays, and eat the strawberry jam they make for the county fair. On this occasion, I met Jodelle at a robotics competition to watch her little sister Abby compete. Think Nerd Paradise: more hats made from traffic cones than Golden State Warrior ball caps, more unicorn capes than Nike swooshes, more fanny packs with Legos than clutches with eyeliner.

We started chatting as the crowd chanted and waved six-foot flags for teams like Mystic Biscuits, Shrek, and everyone’s nemesis The Mean Machine. Apparently, when it’s time for lunch at a robotics competition, they don’t mess around. The once-packed gym was left to Jodelle and me, and we kept talking and talking. I eventually asked her about the three things that matter to her most.

She told me about her mom, her sister, and her addiction—to horses. I’ve read enough of her writing to know that horses were her drug of choice and her mom and sister were her support network.

I learned about her desire to become a teacher and how hours at the barn with her horse, Heart, recharge her when she’s exhausted. At one point, our rambling conversation turned to a topic I’ve known far too well—her father.

Later that evening, I received an email from Jodelle, and she had a lot to say. One line really struck me: “In so many movies, I have seen a dad wanting to protect his daughter from the world, but I’ve only understood the scene cognitively. Yesterday, I felt it.”

Long ago, I decided that I would never be a dad. I had seen movies with fathers and daughters, and for me, those movies might as well have been Star Wars, ET, or Alien—worlds filled with creatures I’d never know. However, over the years, I’ve attended Jodelle’s parent-teacher conferences, gone to her graduation, and driven hours to watch her ride Heart at horse shows. Simply, I showed up. I listened. I supported.

Jodelle shared a series of dad poems, as well. I had read the first two poems in their original form when Jodelle was my student. The revised versions revealed new graphic details of her past. The third poem, however, was something entirely different.

She called the poems my early birthday present. When I read the lines “You are my father figure/Who I look up to/Without being looked down on,” I froze for an instant and had to reread the lines. After fifty years of consciously deciding not to be a dad, I was seen as one—and it felt incredible. Jodelle’s poem and recognition were two of the best presents I’ve ever received.

I  know that I was the language arts teacher that Jodelle needed at the time, but her poem revealed things I never knew I taught her: “My father figure/ Who taught me/ That listening is for observing the world/ That listening is for learning/Not obeying/Writing is for connecting/Healing with others.”

Teaching is often a thankless job, one that frequently brings more stress and anxiety than joy and hope. Stress erodes my patience. Anxiety curtails my ability to enter each interaction with every student with the grace they deserve. However, my time with Jodelle reminds me of the importance of leaning in and listening.

In the article “Three Things That Matter Most in Youth and Old Age” by Nancy Hill, she illuminates how we “live among such remarkable people, yet few know their stories.” For the last twenty years, I’ve had the privilege to work with countless of these “remarkable people,” and I’ve done my best to listen, and, in so doing, I hope my students will realize what I’ve known for a long time; their voices matter and deserve to be heard, but the voices of their tias and abuelitos and babushkas are equally important. When we take the time to listen, I believe we do more than affirm the humanity of others; we affirm our own as well.

Charles Sanderson has grounded his nineteen-year teaching career in a philosophy he describes as “Mirror, Window, Bridge.” Charles seeks to ensure all students see themselves, see others, and begin to learn the skills to build bridges of empathy, affinity, and understanding between communities and cultures that may seem vastly different. He proudly teaches at the Wellness, Business and Sports School in Woodburn, Oregon, a school and community that brings him joy and hope on a daily basis.

From   The Author: Response to Charles Sanderson

Dear Charles Sanderson,

Thank you for submitting an essay of your own in addition to encouraging your students to participate in YES! Magazine’s essay contest.

Your essay focused not on what is important to you, but rather on what is important to one of your students. You took what mattered to her to heart, acting upon it by going beyond the school day and creating a connection that has helped fill a huge gap in her life. Your efforts will affect her far beyond her years in school. It is clear that your involvement with this student is far from the only time you have gone beyond the classroom, and while you are not seeking personal acknowledgment, I cannot help but applaud you.

In an ideal world, every teacher, every adult, would show the same interest in our children and adolescents that you do. By taking the time to listen to what is important to our youth, we can help them grow into compassionate, caring adults, capable of making our world a better place.

Your concerted efforts to guide our youth to success not only as students but also as human beings is commendable. May others be inspired by your insights, concerns, and actions. You define excellence in teaching.

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8 Overcoming Challenges College Essay Examples

The purpose of the Overcoming Challenges essay is for schools to see how you might handle the difficulties of college. They want to know how you grow, evolve, and learn when you face adversity. For this topic, there are many clichés , such as getting a bad grade or losing a sports game, so be sure to steer clear of those and focus on a topic that’s unique to you. (See our full guide on the Overcoming Challenges Essay for more tips).

These overcoming challenges essay examples were all written by real students. Read through them to get a sense of what makes a strong essay. At the end, we’ll present the revision process for the first essay and share some resources for improving your essay.

Please note: Looking at examples of real essays students have submitted to colleges can be very beneficial to get inspiration for your essays. You should never copy or plagiarize from these examples when writing your own essays. Colleges can tell when an essay isn’t genuine and will not view students favorably if they plagiarized. 

Essay 1: Becoming a Coach

“Advanced females ages 13 to 14 please proceed to staging with your coaches at this time.” Skittering around the room, eyes wide and pleading, I frantically explained my situation to nearby coaches. The seconds ticked away in my head; every polite refusal increased my desperation.

Despair weighed me down. I sank to my knees as a stream of competitors, coaches, and officials flowed around me. My dojang had no coach, and the tournament rules prohibited me from competing without one.

Although I wanted to remain strong, doubts began to cloud my mind. I could not help wondering: what was the point of perfecting my skills if I would never even compete? The other members of my team, who had found coaches minutes earlier, attempted to comfort me, but I barely heard their words. They couldn’t understand my despair at being left on the outside, and I never wanted them to understand.

Since my first lesson 12 years ago, the members of my dojang have become family. I have watched them grow up, finding my own happiness in theirs. Together, we have honed our kicks, blocks, and strikes. We have pushed one another to aim higher and become better martial artists. Although my dojang had searched for a reliable coach for years, we had not found one. When we attended competitions in the past, my teammates and I had always gotten lucky and found a sympathetic coach. Now, I knew this practice was unsustainable. It would devastate me to see the other members of my dojang in my situation, unable to compete and losing hope as a result. My dojang needed a coach, and I decided it was up to me to find one.

I first approached the adults in the dojang – both instructors and members’ parents. However, these attempts only reacquainted me with polite refusals. Everyone I asked told me they couldn’t devote multiple weekends per year to competitions. I soon realized that I would have become the coach myself.

At first, the inner workings of tournaments were a mystery to me. To prepare myself for success as a coach, I spent the next year as an official and took coaching classes on the side. I learned everything from motivational strategies to technical, behind-the-scenes components of Taekwondo competitions. Though I emerged with new knowledge and confidence in my capabilities, others did not share this faith.

Parents threw me disbelieving looks when they learned that their children’s coach was only a child herself. My self-confidence was my armor, deflecting their surly glances. Every armor is penetrable, however, and as the relentless barrage of doubts pounded my resilience, it began to wear down. I grew unsure of my own abilities.

Despite the attack, I refused to give up. When I saw the shining eyes of the youngest students preparing for their first competition, I knew I couldn’t let them down. To quit would be to set them up to be barred from competing like I was. The knowledge that I could solve my dojang’s longtime problem motivated me to overcome my apprehension.

Now that my dojang flourishes at competitions, the attacks on me have weakened, but not ended. I may never win the approval of every parent; at times, I am still tormented by doubts, but I find solace in the fact that members of my dojang now only worry about competing to the best of their abilities.

Now, as I arrive at a tournament with my students, I close my eyes and remember the past. I visualize the frantic search for a coach and the chaos amongst my teammates as we competed with one another to find coaches before the staging calls for our respective divisions. I open my eyes to the exact opposite scene. Lacking a coach hurt my ability to compete, but I am proud to know that no member of my dojang will have to face that problem again.

This essay begins with an in-the-moment narrative that really illustrates the chaos of looking for a coach last-minute. We feel the writer’s emotions, particularly their dejectedness, at not being able to compete.

Through this essay, we can see how gutsy and determined the student is in deciding to become a coach themselves. The writer shows us these characteristics through their actions, rather than explicitly telling us: To prepare myself for success as a coach, I spent the next year as an official and took coaching classes on the side.

One area of improvement of this essay would be the “attack” wording. The author likely uses this word as a metaphor for martial arts, but it feels too strong to describe the adults’ doubt of the student’s abilities as a coach, and can even be confusing at first.

Still, we see the student’s resilience as they are able to move past the disbelieving looks to help their team. The essay is kept real and vulnerable, however, as the writer admits having doubts: Every armor is penetrable, however, and as the relentless barrage of doubts pounded my resilience, it began to wear down. I grew unsure of my own abilities.

The essay comes full circle as the author recalls the frantic situations in seeking out a coach, but this is no longer a concern for them and their team. Overall, this essay is extremely effective in painting this student as mature, bold, and compassionate.

Essay 2: Starting a Fire

Was I no longer the beloved daughter of nature, whisperer of trees? Knee-high rubber boots, camouflage, bug spray—I wore the garb and perfume of a proud wild woman, yet there I was, hunched over the pathetic pile of stubborn sticks, utterly stumped, on the verge of tears. As a child, I had considered myself a kind of rustic princess, a cradler of spiders and centipedes, who was serenaded by mourning doves and chickadees, who could glide through tick-infested meadows and emerge Lyme-free. I knew the cracks of the earth like the scars on my own rough palms. Yet here I was, ten years later, incapable of performing the most fundamental outdoor task: I could not, for the life of me, start a fire. 

Furiously I rubbed the twigs together—rubbed and rubbed until shreds of skin flaked from my fingers. No smoke. The twigs were too young, too sticky-green; I tossed them away with a shower of curses, and began tearing through the underbrush in search of a more flammable collection. My efforts were fruitless. Livid, I bit a rejected twig, determined to prove that the forest had spurned me, offering only young, wet bones that would never burn. But the wood cracked like carrots between my teeth—old, brittle, and bitter. Roaring and nursing my aching palms, I retreated to the tent, where I sulked and awaited the jeers of my family. 

Rattling their empty worm cans and reeking of fat fish, my brother and cousins swaggered into the campsite. Immediately, they noticed the minor stick massacre by the fire pit and called to me, their deep voices already sharp with contempt. 

“Where’s the fire, Princess Clara?” they taunted. “Having some trouble?” They prodded me with the ends of the chewed branches and, with a few effortless scrapes of wood on rock, sparked a red and roaring flame. My face burned long after I left the fire pit. The camp stank of salmon and shame. 

In the tent, I pondered my failure. Was I so dainty? Was I that incapable? I thought of my hands, how calloused and capable they had been, how tender and smooth they had become. It had been years since I’d kneaded mud between my fingers; instead of scaling a white pine, I’d practiced scales on my piano, my hands softening into those of a musician—fleshy and sensitive. And I’d gotten glasses, having grown horrifically nearsighted; long nights of dim lighting and thick books had done this. I couldn’t remember the last time I had lain down on a hill, barefaced, and seen the stars without having to squint. Crawling along the edge of the tent, a spider confirmed my transformation—he disgusted me, and I felt an overwhelming urge to squash him. 

Yet, I realized I hadn’t really changed—I had only shifted perspective. I still eagerly explored new worlds, but through poems and prose rather than pastures and puddles. I’d grown to prefer the boom of a bass over that of a bullfrog, learned to coax a different kind of fire from wood, having developed a burn for writing rhymes and scrawling hypotheses. 

That night, I stayed up late with my journal and wrote about the spider I had decided not to kill. I had tolerated him just barely, only shrieking when he jumped—it helped to watch him decorate the corners of the tent with his delicate webs, knowing that he couldn’t start fires, either. When the night grew cold and the embers died, my words still smoked—my hands burned from all that scrawling—and even when I fell asleep, the ideas kept sparking—I was on fire, always on fire.

This essay is an excellent example because the writer turns an everyday challenge—starting a fire—into an exploration of her identity. The writer was once “a kind of rustic princess, a cradler of spiders and centipedes,” but has since traded her love of the outdoors for a love of music, writing, and reading. 

The story begins in media res , or in the middle of the action, allowing readers to feel as if we’re there with the writer. One of the essay’s biggest strengths is its use of imagery. We can easily visualize the writer’s childhood and the present day. For instance, she states that she “rubbed and rubbed [the twigs] until shreds of skin flaked from my fingers.”

The writing has an extremely literary quality, particularly with its wordplay. The writer reappropriates words and meanings, and even appeals to the senses: “My face burned long after I left the fire pit. The camp stank of salmon and shame.” She later uses a parallelism to cleverly juxtapose her changed interests: “instead of scaling a white pine, I’d practiced scales on my piano.”

One of the essay’s main areas of improvement is its overemphasis on the “story” and lack of emphasis on the reflection. The second to last paragraph about changing perspective is crucial to the essay, as it ties the anecdote to larger lessons in the writer’s life. She states that she hasn’t changed, but has only shifted perspective. Yet, we don’t get a good sense of where this realization comes from and how it impacts her life going forward. 

The end of the essay offers a satisfying return to the fire imagery, and highlights the writer’s passion—the one thing that has remained constant in her life.

Essay 3: Last-Minute Switch

The morning of the Model United Nation conference, I walked into Committee feeling confident about my research. We were simulating the Nuremberg Trials – a series of post-World War II proceedings for war crimes – and my portfolio was of the Soviet Judge Major General Iona Nikitchenko. Until that day, the infamous Nazi regime had only been a chapter in my history textbook; however, the conference’s unveiling of each defendant’s crimes brought those horrors to life. The previous night, I had organized my research, proofread my position paper and gone over Judge Nikitchenko’s pertinent statements. I aimed to find the perfect balance between his stance and my own.

As I walked into committee anticipating a battle of wits, my director abruptly called out to me. “I’m afraid we’ve received a late confirmation from another delegate who will be representing Judge Nikitchenko. You, on the other hand, are now the defense attorney, Otto Stahmer.” Everyone around me buzzed around the room in excitement, coordinating with their allies and developing strategies against their enemies, oblivious to the bomb that had just dropped on me. I felt frozen in my tracks, and it seemed that only rage against the careless delegate who had confirmed her presence so late could pull me out of my trance. After having spent a month painstakingly crafting my verdicts and gathering evidence against the Nazis, I now needed to reverse my stance only three hours before the first session.

Gradually, anger gave way to utter panic. My research was fundamental to my performance, and without it, I knew I could add little to the Trials. But confident in my ability, my director optimistically recommended constructing an impromptu defense. Nervously, I began my research anew. Despite feeling hopeless, as I read through the prosecution’s arguments, I uncovered substantial loopholes. I noticed a lack of conclusive evidence against the defendants and certain inconsistencies in testimonies. My discovery energized me, inspiring me to revisit the historical overview in my conference “Background Guide” and to search the web for other relevant articles. Some Nazi prisoners had been treated as “guilty” before their court dates. While I had brushed this information under the carpet while developing my position as a judge, i t now became the focus of my defense. I began scratching out a new argument, centered on the premise that the allied countries had violated the fundamental rule that, a defendant was “not guilty” until proven otherwise.

At the end of the three hours, I felt better prepared. The first session began, and with bravado, I raised my placard to speak. Microphone in hand, I turned to face my audience. “Greetings delegates. I, Otto Stahmer would like to…….” I suddenly blanked. Utter dread permeated my body as I tried to recall my thoughts in vain. “Defence Attorney, Stahmer we’ll come back to you,” my Committee Director broke the silence as I tottered back to my seat, flushed with embarrassment. Despite my shame, I was undeterred. I needed to vindicate my director’s faith in me. I pulled out my notes, refocused, and began outlining my arguments in a more clear and direct manner. Thereafter, I spoke articulately, confidently putting forth my points. I was overjoyed when Secretariat members congratulated me on my fine performance.

Going into the conference, I believed that preparation was the key to success. I wouldn’t say I disagree with that statement now, but I believe adaptability is equally important. My ability to problem-solve in the face of an unforeseen challenge proved advantageous in the art of diplomacy. Not only did this experience transform me into a confident and eloquent delegate at that conference, but it also helped me become a more flexible and creative thinker in a variety of other capacities. Now that I know I can adapt under pressure, I look forward to engaging in activities that will push me to be even quicker on my feet.

This essay is an excellent example because it focuses on a unique challenge and is highly engaging. The writer details their experience reversing their stance in a Model UN trial with only a few hours notice, after having researched and prepared to argue the opposite perspective for a month. 

Their essay is written in media res , or in the middle of the action, allowing readers to feel as if we’re there with the writer. The student openly shares their internal thoughts with us — we feel their anger and panic upon the reversal of roles. We empathize with their emotions of “utter dread” and embarrassment when they’re unable to speak. 

From the essay, we learn that the student believes in thorough preparation, but can also adapt to unforeseen obstacles. They’re able to rise to the challenge and put together an impromptu argument, think critically under pressure, and recover after their initial inability to speak. 

Essay 4: Music as a Coping Mechanism

CW: This essay mentions self-harm.

Sobbing uncontrollably, I parked around the corner from my best friend’s house. As I sat in the driver’s seat, I whispered the most earnest prayer I had ever offered.

Minutes before, I had driven to Colin’s house to pick up a prop for our upcoming spring musical. When I got there, his older brother, Tom, came to the door and informed me that no one else was home. “No,” I corrected, “Colin is here. He’s got a migraine.” Tom shook his head and gently told me where Colin actually was: the psychiatric unit of the local hospital. I felt a weight on my chest as I connected the dots; the terrifying picture rocked my safe little world. Tom’s words blurred as he explained Colin’s self-harm, but all I could think of was whether I could have stopped him. Those cuts on his arms had never been accidents. Colin had lied, very convincingly, many times. How could I have ignored the signs in front of me? Somehow, I managed to ask Tom whether I could see him, but he told me that visiting hours for non-family members were over for the day. I would have to move on with my afternoon.

Once my tears had subsided a little, I drove to the theater, trying to pull myself together and warm up to sing. How would I rehearse? I couldn’t sing three notes without bursting into tears. “I can’t do this,” I thought. But then I realized that the question wasn’t whether I could do it. I knew Colin would want me to push through, and something deep inside told me that music was the best way for me to process my grief. I needed to sing.

I practiced the lyrics throughout my whole drive. The first few times, I broke down in sobs. By the time I reached the theater, however, the music had calmed me. While Colin would never be far from my mind, I had to focus on the task ahead: recording vocals and then producing the video trailer that would be shown to my high school classmates. I fought to channel my worry into my recording. If my voice shook during the particularly heartfelt moments, it only added emotion and depth to my performance. I felt Colin’s absence next to me, but even before I listened to that first take, I knew it was a keeper.

With one of my hurdles behind me, I steeled myself again and prepared for the musical’s trailer. In a floor-length black cape and purple dress, I swept regally down the steps to my director, who waited outside. Under a gloomy sky that threatened to turn stormy, I boldly strode across the street, tossed a dainty yellow bouquet, and flashed confident grins at all those staring. My grief lurched inside, but I felt powerful. Despite my sadness, I could still make art.

To my own surprise, I successfully took back the day. I had felt pain, but I had not let it drown me – making music was a productive way to express my feelings than worrying. Since then, I have been learning to take better care of myself in difficult situations. That day before rehearsal, I found myself in the most troubling circumstances of my life thus far, but they did not sink me because I refused to sink. When my aunt developed cancer several months later, I knew that resolution would not come quickly, but that I could rely on music to cope with the agony, even when it would be easier to fall apart. Thankfully, Colin recovered from his injuries and was home within days. The next week, we stood together on stage at our show’s opening night. As our eyes met and our voices joined in song, I knew that music would always be our greatest mechanism for transforming pain into strength.

This essay is well-written, as we can feel the writer’s emotions through the thoughts they share, and visualize the night of the performance through their rich descriptions. Their varied sentence length also makes the essay more engaging.

That said, this essay is not a great example because of the framing of the topic. The writer can come off as insensitive since they make their friend’s struggle about themself and their emotions (and this is only worsened by the mention of their aunt’s cancer and how it was tough on them ). The essay would’ve been stronger if it focused on their guilt of not recognizing their friend’s struggles and spanned a longer period of time to demonstrate gradual relationship building and reflection. Still, this would’ve been difficult to do well.

In general, you should try to choose a challenge that is undeniably your own, and you should get at least one or two people to read your essay to give you candid feedback.

Essay 5: Dedicating a Track

“Getting beat is one thing – it’s part of competing – but I want no part in losing.” Coach Rob Stark’s motto never fails to remind me of his encouragement on early-morning bus rides to track meets around the state. I’ve always appreciated the phrase, but an experience last June helped me understand its more profound, universal meaning.

Stark, as we affectionately call him, has coached track at my high school for 25 years. His care, dedication, and emphasis on developing good character has left an enduring impact on me and hundreds of other students. Not only did he help me discover my talent and love for running, but he also taught me the importance of commitment and discipline and to approach every endeavor with the passion and intensity that I bring to running. When I learned a neighboring high school had dedicated their track to a longtime coach, I felt that Stark deserved similar honors.

Our school district’s board of education indicated they would only dedicate our track to Stark if I could demonstrate that he was extraordinary. I took charge and mobilized my teammates to distribute petitions, reach out to alumni, and compile statistics on the many team and individual champions Stark had coached over the years. We received astounding support, collecting almost 3,000 signatures and pages of endorsements from across the community. With help from my teammates, I presented this evidence to the board.

They didn’t bite. 

Most members argued that dedicating the track was a low priority. Knowing that we had to act quickly to convince them of its importance, I called a team meeting where we drafted a rebuttal for the next board meeting. To my surprise, they chose me to deliver it. I was far from the best public speaker in the group, and I felt nervous about going before the unsympathetic board again. However, at that second meeting, I discovered that I enjoy articulating and arguing for something that I’m passionate about.

Public speaking resembles a cross country race. Walking to the starting line, you have to trust your training and quell your last minute doubts. When the gun fires, you can’t think too hard about anything; your performance has to be instinctual, natural, even relaxed. At the next board meeting, the podium was my starting line. As I walked up to it, familiar butterflies fluttered in my stomach. Instead of the track stretching out in front of me, I faced the vast audience of teachers, board members, and my teammates. I felt my adrenaline build, and reassured myself: I’ve put in the work, my argument is powerful and sound. As the board president told me to introduce myself, I heard, “runners set” in the back of my mind. She finished speaking, and Bang! The brief silence was the gunshot for me to begin. 

The next few minutes blurred together, but when the dust settled, I knew from the board members’ expressions and the audience’s thunderous approval that I had run quite a race. Unfortunately, it wasn’t enough; the board voted down our proposal. I was disappointed, but proud of myself, my team, and our collaboration off the track. We stood up for a cause we believed in, and I overcame my worries about being a leader. Although I discovered that changing the status quo through an elected body can be a painstakingly difficult process and requires perseverance, I learned that I enjoy the challenges this effort offers. Last month, one of the school board members joked that I had become a “regular” – I now often show up to meetings to advocate for a variety of causes, including better environmental practices in cafeterias and safer equipment for athletes.

Just as Stark taught me, I worked passionately to achieve my goal. I may have been beaten when I appealed to the board, but I certainly didn’t lose, and that would have made Stark proud.

While the writer didn’t succeed in getting the track dedicated to Coach Stark, their essay is certainly successful in showing their willingness to push themselves and take initiative.

The essay opens with a quote from Coach Stark that later comes full circle at the end of the essay. We learn about Stark’s impact and the motivation for trying to get the track dedicated to him.

One of the biggest areas of improvement in the intro, however, is how the essay tells us Stark’s impact rather than showing us: His care, dedication, and emphasis on developing good character has left an enduring impact on me and hundreds of other students. Not only did he help me discover my talent and love for running, but he also taught me the importance of commitment and discipline and to approach every endeavor with the passion and intensity that I bring to running.

The writer could’ve helped us feel a stronger emotional connection to Stark if they had included examples of Stark’s qualities, rather than explicitly stating them. For example, they could’ve written something like: Stark was the kind of person who would give you gas money if you told him your parents couldn’t afford to pick you up from practice. And he actually did that—several times. At track meets, alumni regularly would come talk to him and tell him how he’d changed their lives. Before Stark, I was ambivalent about running and was on the JV team, but his encouragement motivated me to run longer and harder and eventually make varsity. Because of him, I approach every endeavor with the passion and intensity that I bring to running.

The essay goes on to explain how the writer overcame their apprehension of public speaking, and likens the process of submitting an appeal to the school board to running a race. This metaphor makes the writing more engaging and allows us to feel the student’s emotions.

While the student didn’t ultimately succeed in getting the track dedicated, we learn about their resilience and initiative: I now often show up to meetings to advocate for a variety of causes, including better environmental practices in cafeterias and safer equipment for athletes.

Overall, this essay is well-done. It demonstrates growth despite failing to meet a goal, which is a unique essay structure. The running metaphor and full-circle intro/ending also elevate the writing in this essay.

Essay 6: Body Image

CW: This essay mentions eating disorders.

I press the “discover” button on my Instagram app, hoping to find enticing pictures to satisfy my boredom. Scrolling through, I see funny videos and mouth-watering pictures of food. However, one image stops me immediately. A fit teenage girl with a “perfect body” relaxes in a bikini on a beach. Beneath it, I see a slew of flattering comments. I shake with disapproval over the image’s unrealistic quality. However, part of me still wants to have a body like hers so that others will make similar comments to me.

I would like to resolve a silent issue that harms many teenagers and adults: negative self image and low self-esteem in a world where social media shapes how people view each other. When people see the façades others wear to create an “ideal” image, they can develop poor thought patterns rooted in negative self-talk. The constant comparisons to “perfect” others make people feel small. In this new digital age, it is hard to distinguish authentic from artificial representations.

When I was 11, I developed anorexia nervosa. Though I was already thin, I wanted to be skinny like the models that I saw on the magazine covers on the grocery store stands. Little did I know that those models probably also suffered from disorders, and that photoshop erased their flaws. I preferred being underweight to being healthy. No matter how little I ate or how thin I was, I always thought that I was too fat. I became obsessed with the number on the scale and would try to eat the least that I could without my parents urging me to take more. Fortunately, I stopped engaging in anorexic behaviors before middle school. However, my underlying mental habits did not change. The images that had provoked my disorder in the first place were still a constant presence in my life.

By age 15, I was in recovery from anorexia, but suffered from depression. While I used to only compare myself to models, the growth of social media meant I also compared myself to my friends and acquaintances. I felt left out when I saw my friends’ excitement about lake trips they had taken without me. As I scrolled past endless photos of my flawless, thin classmates with hundreds of likes and affirming comments, I felt my jealousy spiral. I wanted to be admired and loved by other people too. However, I felt that I could never be enough. I began to hate the way that I looked, and felt nothing in my life was good enough. I wanted to be called “perfect” and “body goals,” so I tried to only post at certain times of day to maximize my “likes.” When that didn’t work, I started to feel too anxious to post anything at all.  

Body image insecurities and social media comparisons affect thousands of people – men, women, children, and adults – every day. I am lucky – after a few months of my destructive social media habits, I came across a video that pointed out the illusory nature of social media; many Instagram posts only show off good things while people hide their flaws. I began going to therapy, and recovered from my depression. To address the problem of self-image and social media, we can all focus on what matters on the inside and not what is on the surface. As an effort to become healthy internally, I started a club at my school to promote clean eating and radiating beauty from within. It has helped me grow in my confidence, and today I’m not afraid to show others my struggles by sharing my experience with eating disorders. Someday, I hope to make this club a national organization to help teenagers and adults across the country. I support the idea of body positivity and embracing difference, not “perfection.” After all, how can we be ourselves if we all look the same?

This essay covers the difficult topics of eating disorders and mental health. If you’re thinking about covering similar topics in your essay, we recommend reading our post Should You Talk About Mental Health in College Essays?

The short answer is that, yes, you can talk about mental health, but it can be risky. If you do go that route, it’s important to focus on what you learned from the experience.

We can see that the writer of this essay has been through a lot, and a strength of their essay is their vulnerability, in excerpts such as this: I wanted to be admired and loved by other people too. However, I felt that I could never be enough. I began to hate the way that I looked, and felt nothing in my life was good enough. I wanted to be called “perfect” and “body goals,” so I tried to only post at certain times of day to maximize my “likes.”

The student goes on to share how they recovered from their depression through an eye-opening video and therapy sessions, and they’re now helping others find their self-worth as well. It’s great that this essay looks towards the future and shares the writer’s goals of making their club a national organization; we can see their ambition and compassion.

The main weakness of this essay is that it doesn’t focus enough on their recovery process, which is arguably the most important part. They could’ve told us more about the video they watched or the process of starting their club and the interactions they’ve had with other members.

Still, this essay shows us that this student is honest, self-aware, and caring, which are all qualities admissions officer are looking for.

Essay 7: Health Crisis

Tears streamed down my face and my mind was paralyzed with fear. Sirens blared, but the silent panic in my own head was deafening. I was muted by shock. A few hours earlier, I had anticipated a vacation in Washington, D.C., but unexpectedly, I was rushing to the hospital behind an ambulance carrying my mother. As a fourteen-year-old from a single mother household, without a driver’s license, and seven hours from home, I was distraught over the prospect of losing the only parent I had. My fear turned into action as I made some of the bravest decisions of my life. 

Three blood transfusions later, my mother’s condition was stable, but we were still states away from home, so I coordinated with my mother’s doctors in North Carolina to schedule the emergency operation that would save her life. Throughout her surgery, I anxiously awaited any word from her surgeon, but each time I asked, I was told that there had been another complication or delay. Relying on my faith and positive attitude, I remained optimistic that my mother would survive and that I could embrace new responsibilities.

My mother had been a source of strength for me, and now I would be strong for her through her long recovery ahead. As I started high school, everyone thought the crisis was over, but it had really just started to impact my life. My mother was often fatigued, so I assumed more responsibility, juggling family duties, school, athletics, and work. I made countless trips to the neighborhood pharmacy, cooked dinner, biked to the grocery store, supported my concerned sister, and provided the loving care my mother needed to recover. I didn’t know I was capable of such maturity and resourcefulness until it was called upon. Each day was a stage in my gradual transformation from dependence to relative independence.

Throughout my mother’s health crisis, I matured by learning to put others’ needs before my own. As I worried about my mother’s health, I took nothing for granted, cherished what I had, and used my daily activities as motivation to move forward. I now take ownership over small decisions such as scheduling daily appointments and managing my time but also over major decisions involving my future, including the college admissions process. Although I have become more independent, my mother and I are inseparably close, and the realization that I almost lost her affects me daily. Each morning, I wake up ten minutes early simply to eat breakfast with my mother and spend time with her before our busy days begin. I am aware of how quickly life can change. My mother remains a guiding force in my life, but the feeling of empowerment I discovered within myself is the ultimate form of my independence. Though I thought the summer before my freshman year would be a transition from middle school to high school, it was a transformation from childhood to adulthood.

This essay feels real and tells readers a lot about the writer. To start at the beginning, the intro is 10/10. It has drama, it has emotions, and it has the reader wanting more.

And, when you keep going, you get to learn a lot about a very resilient and mature student. Through sentences like “I made countless trips to the neighborhood pharmacy, cooked dinner, biked to the grocery store, supported my concerned sister, and provided the loving care my mother needed to recover” and “Relying on my faith and positive attitude, I remained optimistic that my mother would survive and that I could embrace new responsibilities,” the reader shows us that they are aware of their resilience and maturity, but are not arrogant about it. It is simply a fact that they have proven through their actions!

This essay makes us want to cheer for the writer, and they certainly seem like someone who would thrive in a more independent college environment.

Essay 8: Turned Tables

“You ruined my life!” After months of quiet anger, my brother finally confronted me. To my shame, I had been appallingly ignorant of his pain.

Despite being twins, Max and I are profoundly different. Having intellectual interests from a young age that, well, interested very few of my peers, I often felt out of step in comparison with my highly-social brother. Everything appeared to come effortlessly for Max and, while we share an extremely tight bond, his frequent time away with friends left me feeling more and more alone as we grew older.

When my parents learned about The Green Academy, we hoped it would be an opportunity for me to find not only an academically challenging environment, but also – perhaps more importantly – a community. This meant transferring the family from Drumfield to Kingston. And while there was concern about Max, we all believed that given his sociable nature, moving would be far less impactful on him than staying put might be on me.

As it turned out, Green Academy was everything I’d hoped for. I was ecstatic to discover a group of students with whom I shared interests and could truly engage. Preoccupied with new friends and a rigorous course load, I failed to notice that the tables had turned. Max, lost in the fray and grappling with how to make connections in his enormous new high school, had become withdrawn and lonely. It took me until Christmas time – and a massive argument – to recognize how difficult the transition had been for my brother, let alone that he blamed me for it.

Through my own journey of searching for academic peers, in addition to coming out as gay when I was 12, I had developed deep empathy for those who had trouble fitting in. It was a pain I knew well and could easily relate to. Yet after Max’s outburst, my first response was to protest that our parents – not I – had chosen to move us here. In my heart, though, I knew that regardless of who had made the decision, we ended up in Kingston for my benefit. I was ashamed that, while I saw myself as genuinely compassionate, I had been oblivious to the heartache of the person closest to me. I could no longer ignore it – and I didn’t want to.

We stayed up half the night talking, and the conversation took an unexpected turn. Max opened up and shared that it wasn’t just about the move. He told me how challenging school had always been for him, due to his dyslexia, and that the ever-present comparison to me had only deepened his pain.

We had been in parallel battles the whole time and, yet, I only saw that Max was in distress once he experienced problems with which I directly identified. I’d long thought Max had it so easy – all because he had friends. The truth was, he didn’t need to experience my personal brand of sorrow in order for me to relate – he had felt plenty of his own.

My failure to recognize Max’s suffering brought home for me the profound universality and diversity of personal struggle; everyone has insecurities, everyone has woes, and everyone – most certainly – has pain. I am acutely grateful for the conversations he and I shared around all of this, because I believe our relationship has been fundamentally strengthened by a deeper understanding of one another. Further, this experience has reinforced the value of constantly striving for deeper sensitivity to the hidden struggles of those around me. I won’t make the mistake again of assuming that the surface of someone’s life reflects their underlying story.

Here you can find a prime example that you don’t have to have fabulous imagery or flowery prose to write a successful essay. You just have to be clear and say something that matters. This essay is simple and beautiful. It almost feels like having a conversation with a friend and learning that they are an even better person than you already thought they were.

Through this narrative, readers learn a lot about the writer—where they’re from, what their family life is like, what their challenges were as a kid, and even their sexuality. We also learn a lot about their values—notably, the value they place on awareness, improvement, and consideration of others. Though they never explicitly state it (which is great because it is still crystal clear!), this student’s ending of “I won’t make the mistake again of assuming that the surface of someone’s life reflects their underlying story” shows that they are constantly striving for improvement and finding lessons anywhere they can get them in life.

Where to Get Your Overcoming Challenges Essays Edited

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English Essay on “My Priorities in Life” Complete Essay, Paragraph, Speech for Class 10, 12 Students.

My Priorities in Life

Life has a lot to give to each one of us but, we must at all times remember that none of us can get everything that we want nor can we get all that exists in this world. However, we all do get gifts in this life, and punishments too, but it is so very typical of us humans to want what others possess and think that others have more than us. Besides, we as weak humans never realize or count all the gifts we have from life. Most of us are apt to believe that, all that we want all others have; only we are bereft of gifts from life.

This basic attitude of human beings keeps us unhappy all the while. The basic cause of this is that we never seem to feel gifted. In order to be happy, we must understand one principle issue and it is that we definitely cannot have all the gifts life has to offer. So, let us now fix our priorities – there we must say to ourselves, we must try to get what we can and if we do get, we shall be happy. Now we must realize that we have to fix our priorities in life in every sphere, our preferences, and choices in life. For this, we have many examples of people in different walks of life, who become our ideals and whom we would like to emulate, if possible.

As far as I am concerned my priorities in life are very clear, regarding emotions I would prefer to be a person who is loveable rather than a person who is feared for, I prefer to work for love rather than work with fear and get work done by fear.

This one emotion I feel can create wonders in life. It can change people beyond all recognition and with love; work can be handled more efficiently than with the stick. My priority regarding emotions is to become a person who is loveable and so, is loved wherever I go. This single emotion breeds other delicate emotions of respect and regard priority. Which I will automatically get if I get the gift of love, which is my

Regarding appearance, a beautiful face is one that reflects a beautiful interior. No amount of cosmetics and a beautician’s magic can make an appearance beautiful if it lacks the internal beauty of character and conduct. I would like to appear a personality with a beautiful interior rather than a machine-made modern product of attraction. This is my priority whether I achieve it or not, is a matter of God’s gift.

With respect to a profession, I feel no profession is bad if it is done with sincerity. However the profession I would love to follow is one of Mother Teresa rather than of Bill Clinton or Tony Blair. The career of Mother Teresa is one that instills in the individual a sense of giving, which I first adore. Besides, even I were to be selfish as all of us human beings are, I would love to be Mother Teresa for she will really never be forgotten by this world. While Bill Clinton and Tony Blair will only find their place in history books and will be replaced. However, Mother Teresa will stay in history books and in the hearts of millions of people and their families whom she served. She will always be spoken of, as a harbinger of love while Bill Clinton and Tony Blair will only remain to be mechanically declared heads of state. Regarding attaining wealth which has top priority in the sequence of things today, my priority is to have wealth enough to live and if I get any extra, share it with God’s other children who may be less fortunate. Thus my priorities are clear in every sphere of life. The clarity is the fountain of satisfaction and happiness within me; with this, I am sure I can avoid unhappiness for myself, my family, and my friends. It’s my earnest request to all, that we must fix our priorities and try to achieve them. This will surely help us out of the maze of dissatisfaction. If we all do this, we will spread greater happiness in the world around us.

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Finding Inspiration: Priorities

Sometimes things happen in our lives that can shake our world. A family member gets sick, a relationship ends, you move away from home to start a new adventure. Whether these events are scary, heartbreaking, or challenging they shift our perspective about the things around us. My inspiration this past month has been prioritizing the important things in life.

Putting everything into perspective

There came a time this summer where the pressure became too much. Both of my grandparents were dealing with health issues, I was about to start my senior year of college, and I was struggling with my mental health as an athlete. Instead of only focusing on my main priorities, I was spreading myself too thin.

Growing up, I always kept busy with sports, academics, or volunteer opportunities–I always had a lot going on. I thrived off having a full schedule and thought that’s how my life needed to be. By trying to do it all, I believed I would become more successful and provide myself with better opportunities. The downside of my booked schedule was that I barely had time to take care of the things important to me.

I like to believe we all do this at times, we’re all victims to it. We get so caught up in the craziness of our lives that we brush aside the things most important to us.

Prioritizing my life

Events started happening in my life where I was forced to change my perspective. It was overwhelming because I knew there were things in my life, I had to give up in order to focus on my priorities.

I took a leadership class my junior year at Boise State. The professor taught us that every leader has a personal philosophy they should live by. These are core values they aspire to have as a person and leader. I realized, as events unfolded, I was no longer living by my personal philosophy, and it was difficult to accept.

So, I decided to take action. I wanted to prioritize and reorganize what was meaningful to me. It took a while for me to sit down and name all the things I had going on in my life. There were certain things I was doing that were no longer aligned with my core values. These included my actions, personal thoughts, and how I was treating others. Because I was no longer taking care of myself, my problems began bleeding into those around me.

One particularly hard day, I found myself venting to my mom about how stressful my life was. She sat quiet and I was frustrated that she wasn’t agreeing with me. I caught myself later on that day and realized my mom had a lot going on as well. She was moving to a new school, just had a biopsy for skin cancer, and was dealing with both of her parents in and out of the hospital. How I treated my mom at that moment wasn’t who I was or wanted to be. It was then I realized this change of mindset was necessary.

While reflecting on my personal philosophy, one of my core values is family. I wasn’t giving them the time, support, and love that they needed. Once I fixated on my main priority, everything else fell into place. After much thought, tough decisions, and difficult conversations, I decided to let go of some things in my life. And let me tell you it was not easy.

A difficult decision I had to make was leaving a job I really enjoyed. I found myself no longer having the time or energy to give that position my all. Putting 100% into everything I do was another core value of mine and I was no longer living that out. I was nervous to talk to my boss and worried what other coworkers would think of me for leaving.

Throughout my life, I had never quit or given up on something before. I made sure every task I took on I completed to the best of my ability. So, having to let go of things in my life was challenging. In the past, I would’ve seen myself as a failure for giving up, but instead, I was proud of being able to make those tough decisions to pursue my priorities.

How to make changes in our lives

An article from Soul Salt explains different ways to begin prioritizing our lives . Once you choose to rethink where you’re spending your efforts, sitting down and actually making the tough decisions can become overwhelming. There are things you want to prioritize like family or health, and then there are things you have to prioritize like school or a team. And with all that also come other distractions that take away from our priorities.

One way to start approaching our priorities is by creating a personal philosophy. By learning our core values, we’re able to focus on what we believe is important. These values begin to feed into our goals and everyday habits. From there, we can create aspirations and big goals. The article suggests writing a “100 Aspirations” list. By writing down the things that fuel the fire inside us, we start to become a lot clearer about our priorities.

We can begin committing to these goals slowly, every day and then over time realigning our entire lives with our core values. The most amazing part is that everyone’s core values are different. I also believe that our priorities change depending on our stages of life. Sometimes it takes a hard realization to put our priorities into perspective, but it also helps us realign with everything important.

– Lexi Almeido

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3 ways to prioritize.

Figuring out how you're going to prioritize your commitments, deadlines, projects, work — everything — can be a great step towards increasing your effectiveness and your efficiency.

When we talk with students about what they need to do and want to do, we find there tends to be a lot of overlap: students need to eat and sleep, to go to class, to study, to show up for work and to take time for themselves, to exercise and to socialize. But students want to be doing those things, too, because in the intensity of the day/week/term, needs are being sacrificed. As stress and overwhelm build, we may cut back our sleep time, forget to eat meals, forgo taking time for ourselves to exercise or see friends so that we can instead double-down on our study, etc. It's hard, it's common, and it can be unhealthy, too.

This is where prioritization can become quite helpful. Taking the time not only to plan out your day (based on your week's commitments/needs (which will likely be informed by your long-term calendar)), but also figuring out what needs to be done first. What you use to weight these choices may vary depending on the situation, and could include deadlines, impact on your status in school, what you prefer to do, what time of day it is and your ability to concentrate/focus, etc. Below, you'll find a few different ways to think about prioritization. Take a look a them, consider what you're already doing and what you might like to try, and then get into prioritization mode.

    FIRST: Urgency vs. Importance (from Steven Covey's “Principles of Personal Management,” in his book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People )

Consider the importance (or “weight”) of the items on your list, and the urgency (“is it due/when is it due?”). Steven Covey breaks prioritization down into four quadrants, and recommends that we spend most of our time in Quadrants 1 & 2 (and as little time as possible in Quadrant 4). Take a look:

QUADRANT 1 : Important + Urgent. Examples of this might be things that are due today or tomorrow, or needing to deal with emergencies or crises. It's the stuff that you can't stop thinking or that carries a lot of weight/impact.

QUADRANT 2 : Important + Not-Urgent. Examples of this could be long-term projects, planning ahead, studying in advance (yes!), and starting early (rad!).

QUADRANT 3 : Not Important + Urgent. This quadrant's examples might consist of interruptions, distractions, fun events that come up, social invitations, etc. They might not be important, but they feel urgent because they carry emotional resonance and/or immediacy. Which mean they're happening! Right! Now!

QUADRANT 4 : Not Important + Not Urgent. Here you might be engaging in time wasters (intentionally or unintentionally), busy work, procrastination activities (do you need to cook/clean/plan/etc. at this instant?), aimless internet browsing...

To use this approach, you might make an actual grid on your paper and use it to assign your to-do list tasks to their appropriate quadrant.

    SECOND: The ABC Method (Alan Lakein)

The ABC Method was originally developed by Alan Lakein and consists of assigning a priority status of “A,”B,” or “C” to each of the items on your to-do list or task list. 

“A” Status Items – “Must Do” : high priority items | very important items | critical items | immediate or very-near deadlines and/or a high level of importance otherwise (high stakes)

“B” Status Items – “Should Do” : medium priority items | can be quite important over time | not as critical as “A” items but still important to spend time engaging in completing/working on them.

“C” Status Items – “Nice to Do” : low priority items at this time | few negative consequences if left undone at this moment (low stakes).

To use this approach, you would create your to-do list and then go through and make these marks beside each. To make it even easier to see, you could color-code. If you don't like letters, create a series of symbols that stand in for "A," "B," and "C."

    THIRD: Other Considerations . . .   (adapted from David Allen's Getting Things Done website & newsletter)

As you're making your to-do list, you're also considering the following, and this will impact the way you order your tasks:

What can I do where I am ? Think about location. What can you do where you are now? Sometimes we have unexpected pockets of time. How can you use them to your advantage?

How much time do I have and when do I have to do something else ? Be realistic about what can be done. Your to-do list might shift based on how much time you have available.

How much energy & focus do I have ? What can you realistically take on right now? When do you do your best work? How can you use this to your advantage?

What has the highest payoff for me if I do it ? Yet another way to think about importance, weight, or priorities.

Remember, how you choose to prioritize may be different than someone else's approach. But, using prioritization as a part of your time management process can help you to increase your efficiency, which in turn can help you to increase your effectiveness, too. Get a feel for what needs to happen over the course of the term, decide how that will show up in your week, and then drill down into the details for each day, taking time to prioritize your tasks.

We've got a few tools below that might be helpful. Check them out! And then come in and chat with us at the ASC. Here's where you can find us and when we're open:

Waldo Hall 125 | Monday through Friday | 9 AM to 5 PM

If all of this works, great, but if it doesn't quite work yet, or if you need to think through an adaptation/adjustment to your current prioritization approach, or if you just want to shout about how radical it's all going for you, please do come and visit. We want to see you! We love talking about this stuff, and we're here to support you in your work to figure out the process that's best for you.

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How to Figure Out Your Priorities

Here are some tips and guidance to help you clarify your top priorities..

Posted June 28, 2021 | Reviewed by Jessica Schrader

• It can be helpful to make a list of your top priorities in each life domain, including work, family, and relationships.
• It may be easiest to focus on a few high-priority items at a time.
• Taking action on your priorities may require you to first identify the challenges in your way.

Do you know what is high-priority for you? Or do you feel like everything is high-priority and don’t know what to do first? Or, are you just too plain busy to ever get to the high-priority stuff? If you're reading this, then you're likely looking for more help figuring out your priorities. Don’t worry, we can help.

What, Exactly, Is High-Priority?

Well, the answer depends on who you ask and which aspect of life we're looking at. Are we talking about work priorities, relationship priorities, family priorities, or figuring out which is the highest priority of these high-priority items?

To start, let’s take a look at each of these life domains to better understand different types of priorities, how they fit together, and how they may compete with each other.

Work Priorities

To set priorities for work, make a list of the major tasks that you need to accomplish. Then list these tasks in order of importance. Be sure to also note whether one task needs to come before another or is dependent on another task being completed first. For example, maybe you need a website before you can start selling things in your online business.

Relationship Priorities

Maybe there are some people we want to see more than others. Or, maybe there are certain activities that we feel are more important to ensure the success of our romantic relationships and friendships. Some examples of relationship priorities could include: being honest, making time for fun, practicing random acts of kindness , or talking about fears and difficulties.

Family Priorities

What are the highest priority actions you need to take to insure your family is taken care of? This might depend a lot on whether you have kids, aging parents, or a small family. So take a moment to think about high-priority actions within your family. Remember, your priorities don't necessarily have to be engagement-related. For example, your priority may be to set boundaries or take time away from your family rather than spending a lot of time with family. Everyone is different.

​Life Priorities

Do you have other priorities related to your mental or physical health, finances, purpose, or personal growth? Think about what these priorities are.

What Are Your Top Priorities?

Now that you’ve thought about your priorities in each of the life domains, you're probably now wondering, how do I prioritize my priorities?

Well, pause here to look over or think about your top priorities in each life domain. Combine these into one long list. Put the most important things at the top to hopefully get a sense of which things are most important to you. This can be a bit tricky, so try not to be too hard on yourself—just do the best you can. Your priorities might also change over time, and that's OK too.

Managing Competing Priorities

There are only so many hours in the day. If we spend all day doing our top priority, then we'll have no time for our second priority. But if we spend an equal amount of time on each priority, we'll move forward so slowly on all of them that we may get frustrated and give up. So knowing our priorities isn't always the solution to sticking to our priorities.

Sometimes it can be easiest to focus on a few high-priority items at a time. For example, maybe you spend one month really focusing on your family but the next month, you need to prioritize more work. It’s OK to try to find a balance that works for you and your goals and experiment as you go.

Taking Action on Your Priorities

Another thing to consider is what things make it easier or harder for us to stick to our priorities. For example, are there people who make it difficult to stick to your priorities? Are there situations that make it hard to stick to your priorities? Or, are there things about you that make it hard to stick to your priorities? What boosts your self-motivation ? By taking the time to better understand your own unique challenges, you’ll also better understand what solution might best work for you.

Adapted from an article published by The Berkeley Well-Being Institute .

Gollwitzer, P. M. (1999). Implementation intentions: strong effects of simple plans. American psychologist, 54(7), 493.

Tchiki Davis, Ph.D. , is a consultant, writer, and expert on well-being technology.

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101 Priorities Examples

Chris Drew (PhD)

Dr. Chris Drew is the founder of the Helpful Professor. He holds a PhD in education and has published over 20 articles in scholarly journals. He is the former editor of the Journal of Learning Development in Higher Education. [Image Descriptor: Photo of Chris]

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The process of setting priorities is all about reflecting on what’s most important to you, with recognition that we can never achieve everything we want in life.

Some strategies for setting priorities in life, business, etc. include:

• Values-Based Prioritization: Many of us set our priorities based on our values, where we rank things higher that most align without core values and beliefs. Similarly, companies might prioritize aspects of business that align with their values statements.
• Pragmatic Prioritization: This refers to prioritizing things based on how likely they are to be achieved. We may remove things from our list if they’re less likely to be achievable, and prioritize things we know are attainable.
• Goals-Based Prioritization: This refers to choosing which of our goals are most important, and ranking any tasks that move us toward those goals highly on our lists.
• Progression-Based Prioritization: This refers to prioritizing those things that will ‘move the needle’, applying the rule-of-thumb of 80/20 – 20% of the work will achieve 80% of the results.

Below are some examples.

Life Priorities Examples

Type: Values-Based Prioritization

Family is one of the least controversial and most common priorities people set for themselves. If we choose to prioritize family, we might make sure we continue to live close to them (ie. close to parents or grandparents), dedicate quality time for them, and make decisions with them in mind. This priority might affect a range of life choices, such as which jobs to apply for, which house we buy, and our choice of a partner in life.

Type: Goals-Based Prioritization

Health often stands as a key priority in people’s lives. When you prioritize your health, it often means making choices that promote physical well-being, from dietary selections to regular exercise. This priority affects your lifestyle decisions, such as the sports you engage in, the food you consume, and the amount of sleep you get. Regular check-ups and preventative care also become non-negotiable elements of your routine when health holds top priority.

Prioritizing career often implies that you are committed to professional growth and achievement. This might mean you always push yourself to take on new challenges at work, possibly staying late and completing projects to the best of your ability. Career prioritization might influence where you live and how you allocate time, with most of your hours dedicated to work-related tasks. It also frequently involves continued learning and skill development to advance within your professional realm.

4. Education

Priority in education implies a focus on accomplishing academic objectives. If education tops your list, you might dedicate significant time and resources to learning, enrolling in supplementary courses or pursuing higher degrees. Education prioritization could affect how you manage your time, with substantial periods blocked out for studying and research. This priority can also play a major role in shaping your career path and future job prospects.

5. Financial Stability

Financial stability being the priority means striving towards establishing a firm financial base for yourself. This prioritization involves careful budgeting, responsible spending, and an overall disciplined approach to money management. Actions such as building an emergency fund, investing for future safety, or paying off debts are often central to this priority. This approach directly influences your everyday choices, from restraint in impulsive buying to long-term savings plans.

6. Personal Development

Type: Progression-Based Prioritization

When personal development is a priority, you consistently work towards bettering yourself. This could involve learning new skills, picking up hobbies, or working on your mental and emotional well-being. Prioritizing personal development greatly influences how you spend your free time, whether it’s reading, practicing mindfulness, or taking online courses. It also generally cultivates a mindset of continual growth and self-awareness.

7. Recreation (Having Fun!)

When recreation is a priority, you place significant value on leisure time and activities for relaxation. You might go hiking on weekends, partake in social clubs, or enjoy exploring new hobbies and interests. This priority brings a balance by ensuring the stress of work and responsibilities doesn’t consume the entirety of your life. Consequently, it influences the way your calendar looks, with specific slots for recreational activities, and how you allot your discretionary income towards pursuits of enjoyment.

8. Community Involvement

Community involvement being a priority entails a focus on contributing positively to your local community. You may volunteer for local non-profit organizations, participate in community events, or undertake various roles in your neighborhood. This priority reflects a civic-minded spirit; it determines how much time you invest in community initiatives and the impact your actions have on the wider societal front. Hence, it’s a powerful way of steering individual involvement towards communal growth.

9. Religion and Spiritual Practice

Type: Values-based Prioritization

A priority for religion and spiritual practice means you regularly engage in activities related to your faith or spiritual beliefs. This might involve attending religious services, participating in religious community events, or dedicating time to pray or meditate each day. This type of priority influences your life decisions, holiday observances, and potentially your choice of community. It is an affirmation of the peace and direction you derive from your faith or spiritual practices.

10. Environmental Stewardship

When environmental stewardship is a priority, you demonstrate dedication to preserving and nurturing the environment. This could mean adopting sustainable lifestyle changes, cleaning up local natural spaces, or advocating for policies supporting environmental conservation. The priority placed on this responsibility influences everyday habits, such as waste disposal, energy consumption, and choice of transport. It signifies an understanding of one’s role in the larger environmental schema.

A Complete List of Priorities for Life

• Inner peace
• Financial stability
• Personal growth
• Love and relationships
• Career fulfillment
• Mental well-being
• Physical fitness
• Spiritual growth
• Social connections
• Time management
• Work-life balance
• Giving back
• Environmental responsibility
• Continuous learning
• Cultural understanding
• Authenticity
• Mindfulness
• Safety and security
• Sustainability
• Communication skills
• Emotional intelligence
• Leisure and relaxation
• Financial independence
• Homeownership
• Personal space
• Community involvement
• Personal branding
• Time for reflection
• Skill development
• Artistic expression
• Adventure and exploration
• Self-discipline
• Setting boundaries
• Conflict resolution
• Recognition
• Cultural preservation
• Environmental conservation
• Philanthropy
• Legacy building
• Adaptability
• Inspiration
• Determination
• Accountability
• Celebration
• Mind-body connection

Business Priorities Examples

1. Customer Satisfaction

Type: Value-Based Prioritization

Customer satisfaction becomes the priority when a business focuses its strategies around enriching customer experience. This might mean improving product quality , increasing transparency, or ensuring prompt and effective customer service. Inflated priority on customer satisfaction exerts significant influence on business decisions – from policy-making to daily operations. It dictates a business model built heavily on positive customer experience, with the aim of securing loyalty and repeat patronage.

2. Increase Market Share

The priority of increasing market share implies a business is focused on expanding its reach within a particular market. This normally requires innovative marketing campaigns, competitive pricing, or improved product quality. Giving top priority to market share increase impacts a business’s strategic planning and execution. It underwrites a competitive business strategy primarily aimed at achieving dominance in the target market.

3. Cost Efficiency

Type: Profit-Based Prioritization

When cost efficiency becomes a priority, the focus is on optimizing a business’s operational and administrative processes to reduce expenses. This might involve streamlining workflows, automating certain tasks, or re-negotiating supplier contracts. A drive for cost efficiency influences a company’s resource allocation and operational choices. It underlines a conscientious business approach that seeks to maximize output while minimizing associated costs.

4. Employee Engagement

Employee engagement as a priority means the business values the input and participation of its team members. This might involve creating a positive work environment, developing effective communication channels, or encouraging continuous learning. Prioritizing employee engagement tends to shape a company’s internal processes, from management styles to work culture. It cultivates a workplace where employees feel heard, appreciated, and fulfilled, thereby improving overall productivity and retention.

5. Corporate Social Responsibility (CSR)

When corporate social responsibility is a priority, a business is committed to making positive social or environmental contributions. Companies might implement sustainable practices, donate to local charities, or support community projects. A priority on CSR influences a company’s values and actions, permeating both internal functioning and external image. It is indicative of a business entity receptive to its broader societal and environmental obligations.

A Complete List of Priorities for Businesses

• Profitability
• Customer satisfaction
• Employee well-being
• Ethical practices
• Market leadership
• Brand reputation
• Operational efficiency
• Risk management
• Regulatory compliance
• Continuous improvement
• Stakeholder engagement
• Diversification and growth
• Supply chain reliability
• Quality assurance
• Data security and privacy
• Corporate social responsibility
• Talent retention
• Training and development
• Long-term strategy

Setting Priorities using the Eisenhower Matrix

The Eisenhower Matrix, also known as the Urgent-Important Matrix, is a prioritization tool that helps you decide how to deal with a goal or task based on how urgent and/or important it is.

The matrix addresses one of the conundrums of prioritization: urgent things get done first, often taking precedent over the most important things that are never immediately urgent.

To overcome this challenge, the matrix proposes four actions for tasks, depending on their position on the matrix, depicted below:

The four options on the Eisenhower matrix are:

• Important and Urgent: Do this task immediately.
• Important but not Urgent: Schedule a time to get this task done.
• Not important but Urgent: Delegate this task to someone to do for you. It is low risk.
• Not important and not urgent: Delete this task. It is not a priority.

While the Eisenhower matrix is useful for task prioritization, it may be less useful for longer-term life goal priorities, which may require more reflection on your values and vision.

See More: How to use the Eisenhower Matrix

One of the great difficulties of setting priorities is that this task itself does not help get those things done. Once you’ve set your priorities in stone, you’ll need to work on short-term and long-term goal setting, consider the steps to achieving your goals, and implementing good habits that you will need in order to ensure your most important priorities are dedicated the time and energy they deserve.

• Chris Drew (PhD) https://helpfulprofessor.com/author/chris-drew-phd-2/ 25 Number Games for Kids (Free and Easy)
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How to Define Your Priorities in Life + Why It Matters

Whether it’s work, family, or self-care, every day is a juggle to balance my priorities in life . Yes, it’s a challenge (and I’m sure you can relate) but do you know what’s even harder? 

Not knowing what your priorities are at all. 

I should know. It took me a long time to stop, take stock and act on what really matters in my life. Before that, I felt pulled in all directions. I was so busy working to do everything, desperately trying to be “successful” by other people’s standards. It left me close to burnout, broke, and unhappy. 

Don’t get me wrong: every day is still a balancing act. There are bills to pay and children to feed—but instead of chasing everything , I’ve learned that I can make purposeful choices about what to juggle. 

It’s the difference between intentional living and merely existing on auto-pilot. Instead of an arbitrary (and endless) to-do list, you prioritise the things that matter most to you. Life becomes more meaningful, more focused and even more enjoyable. It’s a simple but significant shift, and it all starts with setting aside time to define your priorities.

What Are Life Priorities?

Why it’s important to define your priorities in life, what should influence your life priorities, how to set your priorities.

Priorities are a hierarchy that applies to tasks, activities, and even goals. You’ve probably set work priorities to get through a long to-do list or a big project. Usually, in the office, the order of importance is defined by a pressing deadline or costs. They’re helpful to manage time, work efficiently, keep projects moving, and to maintain focus.

Life priorities work in a similar way, but on a more personal scale. It’s an exercise in big picture thinking about how you want to live.

Some examples of what life priorities can be are good health, spending more time with family, feeling fulfilled at work, allowing time to be creative, having work-life-balance, or spending more quality time with your partner. 

Your life priorities will be personal—a unique set of guidelines that will help you decide how you want to spend each day, so you can navigate life with purpose and intention.

Related Post: 21 Journaling Ideas + Prompts For Self-Discovery

The importance of clarifying your priorities in life can’t be understated. There’s so much to be gained by having a better understanding of what means most to you. Practically, it will help you to manage your time more meaningfully. 

No one functions well in a state of overwhelm. Yet, without setting priorities, we’re allowing anything and everything to take up our time and attention. And we’re placing equal importance to it all. 

Setting priorities helps to inform how much time we want to spend on different things. This means that we can be present with what we’re doing, instead of feeling guilty about the billion other things we think we should be doing instead.  

Before I clarified my life priorities, my time was spread incredibly thin. I was mindlessly chasing everything—I wanted more money, a better job, a bigger house, an exciting social life—the list was never-ending. 

I was working so hard but I wasn’t focused. In the end, it was incredibly demoralising because I invested so much of myself yet it felt like I was getting little in return. 

When I started thinking about my priorities ( really think about them, and not just assuming ) things started to shift. I became more deliberate with my time and energy. I stayed focused, inspired and began to feel fulfilled. 

Setting priorities in life is essential because they act as a guide to what is valuable, which we can then use to decide how we spend our time, money, and energy . Priorities empower us with the knowledge of what we need to live life more meaningfully.

Your life priorities should be influenced by what really matters to you. I know this might sound obvious but I know from experience that this is often easier said than done!

In reality, there are many external expectations that weigh heavily on us. You might even feel torn—your heart wants one thing but your head is trying to steer you in another direction. It can be hard to know which voice to follow. 

This is why it’s important to know your values . Your values are like a compass, and they help ensure that your outward actions fit with what you truly want and need. 

Without knowing what you truly value, you’ll continue in a misguided trajectory. Again, I’ve been there and done that. I’d never taken the time to consciously decide what I really wanted, so I let societal expectations and feelings of instant gratification lead me. For example, I prioritised a stressful job that I hated because it paid for the life I thought I needed to be happy.

I knew I was off-track when I got much of what I wanted, but still felt a sense of emptiness. I wasn’t happy and I didn’t feel successful because what I had on the outside wasn’t a reflection of what I wanted on the inside. 

So I set out to discover my values by reflecting on my life, and I realised that freedom was more important than things; learning and flexibility mattered more than a job title, and that creativity and storytelling lit up my soul (hence this blog!).

Now I make choices in alignment with these values (such as living a minimalist lifestyle ), and I’ve found the clarity and confidence to write my own rules for life.

Related Post: 4 Practical Steps To Creating An Intentional Life

Let me be honest with you: this will take some time and self-reflection. But if you feel like you could use some meaningful focus in your life—it will be well worth it. The best part about the process of setting your priorities is that you’ll get powerful learnings at every step. 

In short, don’t be intimidated. There’s no right or wrong way because you’ll be moving forward (and in a direction you choose) regardless.

1. WRITE DOWN YOUR VALUES

One exercise you can do is to picture your ideal life in detail, paying special attention to how you feel in this imagined life. 

For example, you might imagine yourself in a beautiful house, but what it is about this beautiful house that you really want? Is it feeling secure and comfortable in a space that feels like home? Or is it the beautiful things that the home is filled with? 

If you picture yourself with career success, is it the paycheck or the slick office that makes you feel excited? Or is it the feeling of being proud of your work and achievements? 

Picture your ideal life, then reflect on why you have imagined those things. Try and come to a list of values that are based on feelings, rather than the material.

Related Post: 7 Questions to Inspire Intentional Living

2. FIT YOUR VALUES INTO YOUR REALITY

These type of changes don’t happen overnight. It will take some time to adjust, and these shifts need to be based on your current reality. 

Once you have your list of values, think about your current situation and decide on how it’s reflective of your priorities. Think about all the domains in your life: relationships, health, career, finances, and spirituality (just to name a few examples). 

Is what you do in these domains in line with your values? Use your values to guide what you can stop doing, do less of, or do more of in the future.

Note that a values-led life, guided by your priorities, is NOT about achieving perfection. There will always be hard choices and tradeoffs, but with practice you can become more intentional with your decisions.

3. BE ORGANISED ABOUT THESE CHANGES

Old habits die hard. So give yourself the best chance of making lasting change by writing your new priorities and values into your calendar and to-do lists.

Map out what you need to do and prioritise your time to include it. For example, if health is high on your priority list, make sure that is reflected in your calendar by setting time aside to fit it in.

4. SET LIMITS

Another thing you can do to integrate priorities into your life successfully is to limit the amount of change you commit to. Admittedly, it’s hard to make a change and stay motivated, which is why you should start small. 

It’s easy to overestimate how much we can get done in a day, so if you can’t entirely overhaul your calendar (because of a job, for example), integrate your priorities bit-by-bit. If you want to prioritise health, start by committing to 20 minutes of exercise daily, rather than an hour. You can slowly build it up as you find new ways to shift your schedule.

5. CHECK IN

Life is fluid and ever-changing. Set-backs are inevitable. And self-reflection is valuable. This is why it’s essential to take time out to reflect and review any changes you’ve made to ensure that they are still working for you and your values.

Remember, this isn’t a race. Instead, intentional living is the lifelong practice of defining, reflecting, and living by your values and priorities. Slow and steady, every little step counts.

If you’d like to learn more, my course Values + Vision is a deep dive into values-led living. On this journey of self-discovery, you’ll clarify your values and priorities, and then learn how to align your life with what matters most.

Have you thought about what your priorities in life are? What are your tips for putting them into practice? Let us know in the comments below.

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• Carpe Careers

Integrating Values Into Your Career

By  Laura N. Schram

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While in graduate school, I participated in a learning community of graduate student teaching consultants at my campus’s teaching center. We consulted with graduate student peers across the campus on their teaching and engaged in dialogue about our consulting practices. Our group’s facilitator and mentor -- Mary Wright , now director of the Sheridan Center of Teaching and Learning at Brown University -- designed a range of professional development activities for us to grow as reflective teachers.

One of her activities, designed as a process to help us uncover our teaching philosophies, was transformational for my career development. We brought our draft teaching philosophy statements to one of our learning community meetings, but rather than exchanging them to share feedback, we began with a generative interviewing exercise Wright created. It involved partnering with a colleague and taking turns playing the role of interviewer.

My interviewer asked me several questions that solicited storytelling about my teaching -- for example, she asked me to share a memory of my favorite student -- and she then actively listened to my responses and took careful notes. After the interview concluded, she spent several minutes processing and responding to a series of prompts that required her to integrate my answers and analyze what she as an interviewer heard about me as a teacher. One of those prompts asked my interviewer to tell me what I enjoy most about teaching, and she informed me that I was most energized by the one-on-one interactions with my students. She asserted that I most appreciate coaching, advocating, mentoring and watching an individual student’s long-term growth.

I was shocked to hear that -- I had not at all articulated it in my teaching philosophy. But her insight resonated very deeply with me. As I imagined the contexts in which I most frequently was supporting and advocating for others, I realized that I engaged in coaching in my teaching center work, significantly more than my disciplinary teaching. That sparked the beginning of my serious pursuit of educational development as a career path.

Why was that such a pivotal moment for me? Because my interviewer had uncovered a core professional value of which I was not conscious.

In my work at the University of Michigan, I now coordinate our Rackham Program in Public Scholarship and help students explore diverse career options. As I was, the students with whom I work are strongly motivated by their core values. And I expect that if you are someone pursuing a doctoral degree, you selected your field of graduate study because your scholarship aligned not just with your academic interests but also with some fundamental personal values or intellectual commitments that you hold.

What Do I Mean by Values?

I studied political psychology as a graduate student, so when I refer to values, I do not mean the Merriam-Webster definition of “relative worth, utility or importance,” but rather the way that social psychologist Daphna Oyserman defines them in her chapter “Values, psychological perspectives” in the International Encyclopedia of the Social and Behavioral Sciences , as “internalized cognitive structures that guide choices by evoking a sense of basic principles of right and wrong (e.g., moral values), a sense of priorities (e.g., personal achievement vs. group good) and that create a willingness to make meaning and see patterns (e.g., trust vs. distrust).”

Values are your priorities that guide your choices and help you to make meaning of your experiences; your core value is the thing or things you see as your mission in life. Sylvia Gale , director of University of Richmond’s Bonner Center for Civic Engagement and founding director of Imagining America’s Publicly Active Graduate Education Initiative , advises you to identify your core value by asking yourself what your “central commitment” is or “the thing that you are for .” As I will describe below, she has developed a deep reflection activity that starts with your identifying what you stand for and then mapping how that is central to your professional roles.

Much of the conversation -- and even my own advice -- about career exploration focuses on skills and the importance of identifying your own skills. However, as professionals, we often don’t take the time to step back and think about our values and how they connect to our skills and play a role in our professional lives. Integrating your values into the center of your career exploration process can help you to crystallize the roles that most align with not just your skills but also with what motivates you at a deeper level.

For example, in my most recent career shift, I was invited to take on a new role that involves advocating for doctoral students interested in a range of career options. I had not even been looking for a new opportunity, as I was deeply satisfied in my work as an educational developer supporting faculty members and graduate students. At that time, I articulated my core value as coaching others in their teaching. Yet I was drawn to this role supporting doctoral students exploring multiple careers particularly because, as a doctoral student myself, I had not found adequate resources to explore careers beyond the traditional faculty path. I began interrogating my core values and how they connected to my skills. Did I like consulting and coaching about teaching? Or would I enjoy consulting and coaching about career development just as much? Did I have other commitments to which this role was drawing me?

For example, after participating in our teaching center’s organizational change effort to place value on teaching on a research university campus , did I want to now apply my skills to rethinking how we prepare doctoral students for their career possibilities? The questions that ultimately guided my decision about which role I wanted to pursue weren’t simply focused on my skills -- they were focused on how my skills connected to deeper commitments.

Gaining Clarity on Values

In any career exploration or job search, I suggest reflection before, during and after new professional experiences. Reflection on experiences plays an integral role in helping you to gain clarity on your goals, values and next steps. If you are currently engaged in career exploration, spending some time reflecting on your values can transform your process and change what you decide to do.

First, you want to discover your core value(s), about which you may already have a strong sense or -- as in my case as a midcareer graduate student -- you may not have full clarity. While reflection on powerful questions can help with affirming your values, it is difficult to surface unconscious values on your own. Generative interviewing is a good activity for affirming or revealing your values in conversation with a colleague. Melissa Peet describes generative interviewing in her 2010 article “The Integrative Knowledge Portfolio Process: A Program Guide for Educating Reflective Practitioners and Lifelong Learners” as a process of discovery that happens through “a series of guided questions and prompts that support people in telling detailed stories about their experiences.”

Although you may not be trained in the formal method of generative interviewing, you can take insights from the generative interviewing framework and use its technique of asking powerful questions and telling stories to help you identify your core professional values. Take a colleague who is also interested in their own professional development to coffee, and conduct the following interview process with each other. Your colleague should play the role of interviewer and ask these questions:

• What was your proudest moment professionally?
• What led you to pursue your scholarly interest(s)?
• What was a pivotal moment for you as a professional?
• Who is a mentor to you, and what is one example of when this person transformed or shaped you professionally?

Your partner should actively listen and take notes. After you’ve shared your stories, give your partner time to process, synthesize and look for themes in your responses to these four powerful questions. Then, your colleague should share a value affirmation with you, mirroring back to you a response to this statement: your professional commitment is _____________. They should use examples from your stories as evidence to illustrate how they integrated your responses to identify your core value(s). Then swap roles and interview your partner so they can also benefit from the process.

Whether you engage in generative interviewing or not, if you have a clear sense of your core value(s), Gale has designed a second transformative reflection exercise that begins with focusing on your “central commitment.” This exercise is designed to map and connect your central commitment with the various roles, activities and projects in which you engage, and her chapter in Collaborative Futures: Critical Reflections on Publicly Active Graduate Education outlines each reflection step of this exercise carefully.

You begin with placing what you stand for/your central commitment at the center of a large, blank piece of paper. Around this central commitment, you place your current professional roles, then the roles you hope to take on and finally those that don’t connect to your central commitment. For each of these, you use some visual way to distinguish them from one another -- whether that is a different color or different types of lines or shapes. Then you engage in identifying priorities and connections, as well as pressures and disconnections.

The University of Michigan has employed Gale’s activity in several professional development programs. Students find it incredibly transformative in helping them to see the associations and gaps between their professional work and their core values. One student even said that, several years after he did the exercise, he keeps the drawing he created pinned on his wall as a reminder of his central commitments and the types of professional roles he would like to pursue. As I noted earlier, values help to guide your choices and make meaning of patterns, and this student found the drawing he created was a constant visual reminder of what he prioritizes and how he makes meaning across his varied projects.

If you are seeking an in-depth, holistic reflection exercise to assess how you integrate your values, skills and professional activities, I encourage you to set aside an hour to invest in Gale’s powerful activity. Her chapter is a wonderful narrative about her professional development as a publicly engaged scholar and the process by which she came to design this activity.

Career Exploration as a Value-Driven Process

Identifying and placing your core value(s) at the center of your career exploration process can help you to make more meaningful connections between your skills and career interests. The two reflection activities described above are designed to help you gain clarity on your distinct professional values. They are transformative because knowing what you stand for as a professional can help you to make meaning of how your many professional pursuits are integrated, to prioritize your work and to make decisions about what professional opportunities you want to pursue.

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Setting Life Priorities: Figuring Out What Is Important to You

There are two types of priorities. Short-term priorities include your daily to-dos, such as tasks at school and home, finishing a report, or cooking dinner. However, long-term priorities, or life priorities, are the relationships and activities that make you happy—the things that really matter in life.

Thinking about your priorities It’s easy to figure out your priorities for the day or week. You generally know what needs to get done and how to do it. But figuring out what’s important to you and learning ways to fit those things into your everyday schedule can be challenging. The first step is to begin identifying your priorities. You may find it helpful to take a few days to think about your priorities and jot them down as they come up. You may want to spend time with friends or family, take care of your physical health, or excel at school. Write down your priorities to clarify which ones are important to you. Here are some questions that can help you think about your priorities:

• What are the big and small things that you want extra time for?
• How would you spend your time if you could clear your schedule, eliminate many day-to-day demands, and start over?
• Ask yourself, “Why is making these changes important to me?”

Putting your priorities front and center To get what you want, you may need to set some goals. This is an effective way of making sure your priorities are achievable and getting to what’s really important in your life. Start by referring back to the list that you made above. Pick your top five and put them in order. Think about how you could turn your number one priority, or “want,” into a realistic and specific goal. For example, if spending more time with friends is very important to you, you might need to adjust how you spend your time overall and set a goal of seeing friends one evening each week. Keep in mind that it’s easier to work on one goal at a time. To set achievable goals, use the SMART Method to set goals that are Specific, Measurable, Action-oriented, Realistic and Time-limited. Your goals and priorities may change over time as your life changes, but by revisiting the goals you’ve set, you’ll be able to stay on track and make time for the things that are important to you.

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7 Tips to Prioritize Your Academic Duties and Live a Happy Life

Everyone, including students, have an inclination to succeed. For a student, success means achieving great academic performance and leading a happy, fulfilling life with friends and family. In order for you as a student to achieve such success, you need to be able to manage both your classwork and time with your loved ones. This can be overwhelming at times, but with proper guidance, it becomes much more effortless. This article points directly to ways in which as a student, you can prioritize your academic duties and still live a happy life.

Table of Contents

1. Start by Setting Goals

Achieving a balanced life and study schedule is never easy. However, it can be achieved. Once you understand and focus on what you want from life, everything becomes more clear and gives you a will to achieve anything. It is always unsettling when you set out to undertake a major journey in life without setting goals that guide you to the real destination.

Setting goals will help you stay focused on the most important things that you are required to do and keep you from constantly needing to make up for the duties not done. Moreover, it will help you pick out the most specific, measurable, achievable, and timely ideals and hence eliminate anything that does not conform as a priority to you.

2. Effective Time Management

For you to achieve your academic duties and lead a happy life, you must be time-sensitive. Remember, time wasted can never be recovered. In order to achieve each goal that you set, you need to learn how to manage your time properly. Punctuality is key in the success of a student’s life. As a student, you need to create time for your studies and time for leisure activities. Time management maintains your focus, makes you more confident, and helps you to manage your studies and outside school activities more effectively. These cut down on physical and mental pressure and increase high spirits and satisfaction in your life.

3. Narrow Down On the Things to Focus On

Focusing on the most vital priorities can be a struggle. To be successful in your academics and remain cheerful, you need to master the art of organizing your priorities as a student. You need to realize that even though you wish to do everything you want, you simply can’t. Success is all about sacrificing things that are less valuable in order to attain things with great value.

If you do not choose a few things to focus on, you will see very little success because of all the discomfort and mental suffering you will go through to achieve all the tasks you have set out to do. Focusing on a few top-level goals at a time will propel you towards personal change and ease you to becoming more competent in your study and personal life.

4. Pay Attention to Your Happiness

You cannot achieve the best success if you do not feel good about yourself. A student’s success is normally affiliated with good grades and better job opportunities. However, what you need to ask yourself is whether this kind of success leads to true happiness. Getting a well-paying job for a student is important, but there is more to life than just work and money. Therefore, instead of choosing one and abandoning the other, why don’t you focus on both. Learn to prioritize things that bring you joy. Focusing on the things that make you feel good will satisfy you and ensure success. Remember, success on its own may not lead to happiness, but happiness oftentimes leads to a successful life.

5. Don’t Compare Yourself to Other

The biggest mistake many people make is to compare their life to others. You have your own life to live and unique goals to achieve. Everyone is created in a unique way and everyone’s journey and destination are different. By comparing yourself to others, you only criticize and blame yourself for your situations. This leads to self-doubt and emotional stress. Committing to your own lane and focusing on what is ahead of you will lead you to great success, both in your academic life and personal life. You won’t pay attention to what other people are doing or what is working on their side. When you commit to yourself, you will come to the realization that if you stay focused and work hard and smart towards your goals, true happiness and success will eventually find you.

6. Learn from Your Mistake

Everyone makes mistakes now and then. Most people, especially teenagers, are scared to make mistakes in their academic and personal life. However, how can you learn without making mistakes? Making an error is not the end of life, and you should never blame yourself.

What you should do, however, is to learn from these mistakes. It is normally believed that making a mistake for the first time is not bad, but repeating the same error over and over again is what’s considered wrong. Remember that you are not alone. Many of us have repeated our mistakes over and over again. The good part about this is that, by analyzing your mistakes, you get to learn valuable wisdom that will help you achieve academic excellence and true happiness in life.

7. Plan Your Days Well

Preparing your days in advance is a great strategy to help you avoid distractions and procrastination. This will help you avoid overstretching yourself by working late nights to meet the deadlines. When planning your days, you need to include everything that you are required to do, from shopping to schoolwork. If you plan to spend some time with friends and family, that too should be included. Try to review your plan every morning in order to make any adjustments if necessary and hold down your schedule.

Conclusion The life of a student can be hectic and stressful without proper planning. With the above tips, you will be able to find time both for your studies and personal recreational activities. Not only will you see success in your schoolwork, but you will be full of cheer with fewer things to worry about.

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5 Ways to Prioritise Your Studies

Have you ever struggled to prioritise your studying?

Do you ever feel like you’re being pulled in many different directions? Work, studies, friends, family…? 

I get this feeling all the time that just as I get one area of my life on track, others start failing – like the spinning plates analogy. So it’s super important to pick out the key tasks in each area that will move you forward.

Sure, we’d all love to be better at getting the important things done. But how?

Today I’m excited to share with you my 5 tips to help you prioritise your studying, but also make sure your other work/personal jobs get done.

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1) Remind yourself why you started studying . It’s important to remind yourself why studying and achieving this qualification is important to you…even if sometimes you feel like you would like to throw all your books off a cliff!

I came up with my 3 reasons and wrote them on a piece of paper and stuck it above my desk. Now when I’m procrastinating or itching to make fun plans rather than study I can look up and remind myself why this is important to me.

My 3 reasons:

– I love learning new things and talking to my friends and family about what I've discovered

– I want to prove to myself I can do this. I'm stronger than I think

– I can’t wait to see what opportunities come from this but also where my new knowledge and confidence takes me.

2) Declutter your to do list with the 4Ds.

If you’re anything like me you sometimes find your to do lists getting longer and longer, with some tasks staying on there for weeks. So every so often look at your to do list and try to categorise the tasks.

If it won’t take too long or it is really important then just DO IT .If it is an important task but you just don’t have time right now then DELAY IT…but you must schedule a specific time to tackle it and get it out the way.

Or you may be able to DELEGATE a task. This could mean agreeing with your partner/significant other/housemate that they cook this week so you can finish your essay. Or, order your food shop online and get it delivered rather than waste an hour or two going shopping. Or, if money allows it, could you get a cleaner in to help cross off those cleaning tasks on your list?

The last D, and maybe the most important, is to DUMP IT . You could say that if a task has been on your to do list for some time it’s not that important, so just get rid of it instead of letting it stress you out. Or you could simplify it.

I have one that I got rid of recently. I moved in with my boyfriend a month ago and I had to declutter my belongings. I sorted out 6 boxes of clothes months ago that I kept meaning to list on eBay…but who am I kidding?! Of course it would be nice to make some money but as a working student I did not have hours and hours spare to list and post clothes online. So I DUMPED this task and took them all to the charity shop.

3) Mark which tasks are the most vital.

At the beginning of my day I put a star against the the 1-3 tasks that MUST get done. In a perfect (non-existent) world your whole to do list would be completed. But tasks take longer than expected, a family emergency happens or you have to stay late at work…so pick out the few key tasks and focus on them.

4) Eat the ugly frog first .

After you’ve marked your most important tasks – do those first! It’s easy to fall into the trap of doing all the quick or easy tasks first as these give your brain quick rewards. But as I said above – often life gets in the way and somehow these important, “ugly” tasks never get done.

So just pick that scary task you’re been trying to ignore and complete it. It may not even take as long as you think, it will stop you worrying about it all day (distracting you) and you’ll be motivated to complete your easier tasks after.

5) Prepare for temptation .

When you’ve finally submitted your essay after being stuck indoors chained to your desk it can be easy to get overexcited and plan lots of meet ups with family and friends. However this can easily lead to the same cycle of panic where you run out of time and either have to give up sleep or submit something you know you could have done better.

So, it’s important that you anticipate these deadlines and try to work around them. That doesn’t mean you can’t do fun things, but try to plan them as rewards for after you’ve submitted an assignment or taken an exam.

Then you can clear some of the time leading up to the deadline so you can prioritise studying. Tell your friends and family that for this week or few days you can’t be distracted so tell them to not let you make fun plans with them.

There will be times when this can’t happen, so it’s even more important to prioritise the time you have left. Or you may find one month you relax too much and regret it when your essay is returned. But we’re all human so just learn from the situation and try to improve the next month.

I hope some of these tips help you to pick out what is important and prioritise your time better so you can get more done.

Comment below with your top prioritisation tip! 

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13 Top Priorities in Life Examples [2024 Update]

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They say, 

“ At the end of your life, you will regret the things you didn’t do rather than the things you did.”

Let that sink in for a moment…

For many of us, life boils down to what we do (or don’t do) tomorrow, in a week, or a month at best. 

Some live paycheck to paycheck, while others survive Monday through Friday only to enjoy the weekend and start over.

It seems we rarely take the time to put life into perspective and try to understand what’s truly important to us.

Perhaps we’re afraid that if we put life in perspective, we might realize that we unconsciously prioritize activities that don’t contribute to our overall sense of happiness and fulfillment. 

I never fully resonated with the ‘YOLO mentality,’ especially when people use it as a license to behave recklessly.  

However, I firmly believe that we should remind ourselves every day that life doesn’t last forever and build our priorities around this hard truth.      

Table of Contents

Cultivating Sustainable Happiness 

I believe happiness is a priority and a goal that deserves all your time and effort. 

Perhaps you’ve already told yourself a million times that you should be happier and enjoy life more. Or maybe you think about happiness whenever you stumble upon a motivational quote on social media. 

But happiness is not just an abstract concept or a word that you ‘hashtag’ on your social media posts. Talking, posting, or thinking about happiness won’t make you a happier person. 

Happiness is a purpose-driven mindset that you exercise and cultivate regularly. It is an attitude and a way of living that boils down to two questions: 

• What’s truly important to me and should be a priority in my life?
• How much time and effort am I investing in my priorities?

Some experts claim happiness is a sustainable process comprised of four stages. [1]

Here’s how the authors describe each stage of the cycle:

• Exercising happiness: exercises aimed at cultivating happiness,
• Reassessing: experience-based feedback and reaching conclusions based on the results of the previous stage, followed by reshaping exercises,
• Occasional Happiness: reaching a gradual increase in happiness, based on self-improvement strategies refined in the previous stage, which then evolve into…
• Lasting Happiness: prolonged state of happiness.

As you can see, happiness doesn’t always have to be a philosophical concept. Sometimes, a practical outlook might be precisely what you need to turn happiness into something more ‘tangible’ and achievable. 

But to set the happiness cycle in motion, you need to clarify your priorities and set specific goals .

The Top Five Regrets of the Dying 

Here’s an eye-opener. A couple of weeks ago, I stumbled upon a book that has made me rethink some of my choices and reorganize my priorities in life.

One of my clients is dealing with a severe form of treatment-resistant depression. He spends hours ruminating and regretting past decisions, so I thought I would refresh my memory on the subject and find new ways to approach this case.

That’s how I found The Top Five Regrets of the Dying by Bronnie Ware, a former palliative carer who shares some of the most common and also heartbreaking regrets of people who are on their deathbed.  

You know those moments when you think you have it all figured out, then something comes along and makes you reevaluate your perspective?

That’s exactly how I felt after reading this book.   

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me

One of the biggest regrets of the dying is not living in tune with what they believed was truly important.

Dreams are forgotten, and ideas are lost as we drown ourselves in work, debt, and responsibilities that we never wanted in the first place.

Be honest! How many of the priorities you focus on right now are actually yours?

Takeaway: Honor your ideals and dreams —at least some of them.

2. I wish I hadn’t worked so hard

Whether we like it or not, we spend a good portion of our lives working. We offer time and effort in exchange for the money that we need to survive and ensure a decent quality of life.  

But there’s a difference between working and losing yourself in work. 

Time is a limited resource that you cannot buy back, so spend it wisely.    

Takeaway: Invest in meaningful work but leave space in your life for other activities.

3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings

Emotions are like your shadow. They exist regardless of whether you acknowledge their presence or not, and no matter how much you try to run from them, they’ll always be there with you.

Unfortunately, we often resort to avoidance and emotional suppression because we don’t know how to express ourselves, we fear rejection and criticism, or we believe we don’t deserve acceptance and understanding.

Since you cannot control how others react, there’s no point in keeping your emotions bottled up inside.    

Takeaway: Own your vulnerabilities , speak honestly, and express your emotions. 

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends

When facing death, people often focus on putting their financial affairs in order. But they don’t do it for the sake of status and money; they do it because they want to ensure a good standard of living for their loved ones.

But you don’t have to wait until you’re on your deathbed to show care for the ones you love. And it’s not always about money.

It’s about investing in meaningful relationships by making room in your life for the people who love and appreciate you.      

Takeaway: Love and relationships can contribute to happiness more than money can.

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier

This regret often stems from a misconception that people generally have about what it means to be happy.

We say, “ I will be happy when…” thus passing the responsibility for our happiness to someone or something else.

Don’t wait for something to happen for you to be happy. Instead, start doing the things that will make you happy; right here, right now.

Takeaway: Happiness is a choice you make every day.

13 Priorities in Life You Need to Focus On, RIGHT NOW

1. self-care.

Your first and foremost priority in life should be YOU. 

Not in a selfish and self-centered manner, but with self-compassion and understanding.

Prioritizing self-care means investing in activities and habits that nurture the body and mind.

For instance, you could start a journal. Writing allows you to engage in self-discovery and have a meaningful interaction with your inner self. It is also a safe space where you can explore aspects of your life that you wouldn’t usually discuss with other people. 

As for the body, anything from yoga and meditation to healthy food, a relaxing massage, or a warm bath can be an excellent self-care practice.

By dedicating a portion of your time to self-care, you learn to prioritize yourself . 

Sometimes, it’s healthy to put your needs before others’. 

2. Education and learning

If you aim towards personal and professional growth, then education should be a top priority .

We know for a fact that education and learning are the driving forces behind human progress.

But education isn’t a process that takes place exclusively in academic contexts. The notion that school is for learning and work is where you put your knowledge into practice is a misconception, a limiting belief that prevents you from achieving growth.

Learning is a continuous process in which you anchor yourself for the rest of your life.

The moment you think you have learned enough is the moment you stop growing.

Take responsibility for your personal and professional success by making education a priority in life. 

3. Meaningful work

I’m sure you’re familiar with the saying, “Do what you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life.”

But even people who love what they do for a living will sometimes face hardships. The fact that you love your job doesn’t mean you go to the office every day with a big smile on your face and welcome adversity with optimism and positivity. 

Doing meaningful work means dedicating yourself to activities that are intrinsically motivating . 

Regardless of whether you’re a freelance worker, entrepreneur, employee, or CEO, work will take up a good portion of your life, so make sure to do something that brings authentic happiness .  

4. Exciting hobbies

Another aspect that you should prioritize – because it contributes to a meaningful and flourishing life – are hobbies.

Realistically speaking, not everyone can afford the luxury of pursuing their dream job. When your mortgage is past-due, and bills start piling up on your kitchen counter, money becomes a bigger priority than meaning.   

However, hobbies are an aspect of your life over which you have full control. If, for some reason, you don’t have the means to focus on meaningful work, at least make sure you spare some time for exciting activities .

It doesn’t even have to be something expensive. Countless hobbies cost little-to-no money but can bring tons of joy.

Who knows, maybe you can even turn your hobbies into meaningful and profitable work .

Start by looking for something you love doing just for the sake of doing it and make it a priority. Check out these blog posts for ideas:

• 75 Hobbies for Women to Relax and Enjoy Life
• 101 Hobbies for Men to Add Happiness to Your Life
• 35 Best Solo Hobbies for People to Do Alone

5. Fulfilling relationships

In 1938, a group of researchers from Harvard started the biggest study on longevity, health, and happiness in human history.

The question that sparked this endeavor was simple: What factors contribute to a long and happy life?

It is no surprise that, after 80 years and thousands of participants, researchers discovered that fulfilling relationships are a predictor for lasting happiness and health.

As Robert Waldinger (the fourth director of the study) puts it, “ Taking care of your body is important, but tending to your relationships is a form of self-care too. That, I think, is the revelation.”

The quality of your life depends on the quality of your relationships. 

Invest (emotionally) in those who care about you and let go of toxic people before they drag you down.

6. Alone time

“True belonging is the spiritual practice of believing in and belonging to yourself so deeply that you can share your most authentic self with the world and find sacredness in both being a part of something and standing alone in the wilderness.” – Brené Brown

When was the last time you spent time with yourself ?

And by ‘time with yourself’ I mean, no phone, no TV, no music, no distractions, just you and your thoughts .

I believe spending time with yourself can be unpleasant and empowering at the same time. 

On the one hand, you might discover thoughts, emotions, sensations, and self-sabotaging behaviors you’re not usually aware of because you keep yourself distracted most of the day. 

On the other hand, immersing yourself in the wilderness of your mind builds resilience and facilitates self-acceptance.

At the end of the day, I think we all need to learn to live with ourselves , regardless of past mistakes, present shortcomings, or future worries.

To see new places that you have only read about in books or seen on TV; to meet people with unique life stories; to get in touch with new cultures and traditions; these are only a fraction of the beautiful experiences that traveling brings into your life.

The sense of novelty that you experience every time you visit a new place or country makes traveling a priority for those who wish to cultivate authentic happiness.  

And it is this sense of novelty that can enrich your experience massively, broaden your perspective, and give rise to new ideas. 

8. New experiences

Not everyone affords to travel the world and visit exotic places every year. Perhaps, money is so tight you don’t even afford a low-cost flight and a two-night stay in an Airbnb.

But that doesn’t mean you should deprive yourself of new experiences. I’m sure there’s a place in your city or area where you’ve never been. 

Or maybe there’s a new skill you always wanted to try but never had the time or a new book you wanted to read but always told yourself maybe next week .

Long story short, make sure to (at least occasionally) prioritize new experiences that get you out of your comfort zone and help you expand your view of the world.  

9. Happiness 

Although the priorities listed above converge towards happiness, we could argue that happiness – as an overarching goal – is a priority.

Start each morning with the desire to invest in something meaningful and end each day by listing the things you are grateful for. 

A purpose-driven life is what creates that overall sense of happiness and fulfillment that you experience every time you contemplate your life’s journey. 

At the same time, if you wish to achieve sustainable happiness, you must consciously choose happiness every day . 

10. Laugh More

Did you know that a three-year-old laughs 300 times a day, while an adult merely laughs 17 times a day (if it even is that much and you aren’t wholly caught up in the seriousness that’s life)? 

So why don’t you keep the doctor away by making time to laugh more every day? It truly is the best medicine since the benefits of laughing are plenty.

In the words of Catherine Rippenger Fenwick , “Your body cannot heal without play. Your mind cannot heal without laughter. Your soul cannot heal without joy.” 

Laughing should be a priority in your day because it: 

• Lowers your blood pressure 
• Decreases various hormones, such as cortisol and epinephrine, that are associated with stress 
• Strengthens your immunity, which helps ward off disease and infection 
• Helps you relax 
• Reduces pain 
• Improves cognitive function by keeping you alert and stimulating the parts of the brain that boost learning 
• Stimulates the cleansing effects of deep breathing exercises 
• Is a good workout (#InternalJogging without the sweat)

11. Become Self-Aware and Focus on Personal Development 

You cannot live an authentic life if you don’t know who you are, and you can’t know yourself if you don’t focus on personal development and self-awareness . 

Looking inward is uncomfortable because it’s easier to ignore and hide the ugly parts of ourselves that we see as weaknesses. Yet, there’s benefit to digging deep, facing your whole self, and sitting with and accepting what you are, feel, observe, and see. 

Practicing self-awareness doesn’t mean there is just one truth for you to accept. Instead, you need to balance internal self-awareness – how you see your values, aspirations, reactions, etc. – and external self-awareness – understanding how others see you. 

When you prioritize getting to know yourself so you can grow as a person, you learn to: 

• Regulate your emotions, actions, and responses 
• Communicate more effectively  
• Make better decisions 
• Build stronger relationships 
• Be happier 
• Be a better leader 
• Be more confident

12. Practice Gratitude 

In recent years, gratitude has become such a buzzword. While many buzzwords are just that – a popular trend people follow because everyone else is doing it – gratitude is real, especially when you start practicing it and benefiting . 

Making gratitude a priority in your life means that you are grateful for what you have, and you don’t focus on what you don’t have. When you don’t constantly think that you could be and do better and you could or should have XYZ, you realize that you are a human being, and not a human doing or human having. 

Include gratitude (for even as little as five minutes a day) in your daily life so you can feel less stressed, sleep better , feel more hopeful and positive, cope better with pain, and so much more. 

The biggest benefit is that practicing being thankful is easy. Here are a couple of ideas to get you started: 

• Buy a gratitude journal
• Use gratitude prompts like these 151 daily thankfulness prompts or these 365 prompts to practice being thankful all year long   
• Use mobile apps to keep you honest and motivated about being thankful 
• Including gratitude in your meditation practice

13. Pay It Forward 

When you cultivate an abundance mindset or a growth mindset, you believe there is enough of everything in the world. There is enough time, money, options, and resources, while you are grateful for what you have. 

So it follows that since you don’t need to keep what you have to yourself since there’s enough, you give back to others, perform random acts of kindness , and pay it forward when and where you can (without expecting anything in return). 

Paying it forward feels good, helps build a sense of community, and sparks hope. And it’s contagious – like a ripple effect. You throw one stone (or a pay it forward action) into the pond, and it causes ripples (so others can learn to pay it forward too). 

Pay it forward by: 

• Finding a charity to support (and also remember that charity starts at home) 
• Volunteering your time at a soup kitchen or shelter
• Donating your talents by teaching children, college students, or adults something they really want to learn 
• Donating blood at your local blood bank or when there’s a blood drive 
• Starting a fundraiser for a worthy cause 
• Buying coffee or groceries for the person who’s behind you in line 
• Complimenting a stranger (and being sincere when you do) 
• Leave “cheer me up” notes in random locations in your neighborhood or city 
• “Drop a dollar” and tell the person next or in front of you that they dropped a dollar 
• Smile at people

Final Thoughts on Priorities in Life

As you probably realized by now, all the priorities that we’ve talked about can enrich your life by giving it meaning. 

Some experts believe happiness and meaning in life are the key ingredients of well-being. While happiness leads to self-satisfying outcomes, meaning leads to self-transcending outcomes. [2]

In other words, we achieve well-being through experiences that generate a sense of personal fulfillment and causes greater than ourselves.

But no one will create these opportunities for you.

You need to create them yourself by setting clear goals and priorities in life. 

And if you're looking for resources on setting your priorities in life, check out these posts:

• 15-Day Plan to Get Your Life Together (with a Checklist)
• How to Focus on Quality Over Quantity in Your Life
• 13 Things to Be Passionate About in Your Life

[1] E. Eckhaus and Z. Sheaffer, “Happiness Enrichment and Sustainable Happiness,” Applied Research in Quality of Life, vol. 14, p. 1079–1097, 2018. 

[2] P. F. Jonah Li, Y. Joel Wong and R. C. Chao, “Happiness and meaning in life: Unique, differential, and indirect associations with mental health,” Counselling Psychology Quarterly, vol. 32, no. 3-4, pp. 396-414, 2019. 

Alexander Draghici is a licensed Clinical Psychologist, CBT practitioner, and content writer for various mental health websites. His work focuses mainly on strategies designed to help people manage and prevent two of the most common emotional problems – anxiety and depression.

Balancing my life priorities - UBC Application: Tell us about who you are.

akmaster101 4 / 6   Dec 3, 2023   #1 Please comment on my application essay for UBC Engineering, the question is "TELL US ABOUT WHO YOU ARE. HOW WOULD YOUR FAMILY, FRIENDS, AND/OR MEMBERS OF YOUR COMMUNITY DESCRIBE YOU? IF POSSIBLE, PLEASE INCLUDE SOMETHING ABOUT YOURSELF THAT YOU ARE MOST PROUD OF AND WHY. (MAXIMUM 1500 CHARACTERS)" I am [Insert Name], an IB Diploma student living in [Insert City]. Throughout my life, I have lived and studied in India, USA, and Canada. This has allowed me to explore and experience diverse cultures, activities, hobbies, and friendships. Since childhood, I have been a creative person who has enjoyed bringing creativity and academics together. I have been interested in the designs and mechanics of how things around me, like computers, aircraft, cars and software, are designed. My family and friends who know my interests and hobbies would describe me as a man of curiosity and intrigue. By pursuing Engineering, I plan to continue this learning. In addition, I have frequently participated in community activities, such as volunteering and community services. I have been involved with volunteering at summer programs at my local community center and university, where my recreation coordinator would describe me as a positive role model and a youth leader who takes an interest in leading and teaching other kids and students. I am most proud of balancing my life priorities on studies, sports, hobbies and social activities, which allows me to pursue a wide range of activities while maintaining solid academics. Studying is crucial, but participating in clubs, volunteering, public speaking, athletics, hobbies, and other contributions is equally essential to maintaining a balanced life. I am proud that I have achieved a good balance in my life and plan to continue that.

OUWB’s Afonso, Wasserman named Dean’s Distinguished Professors

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Two professors from Oakland University William Beaumont School of Medicine have each achieved the faculty rank of Dean’s Distinguished Professor. 

The Oakland University Board of Trustees approved the title changes recommended by Oakland University President Ora Hirsch Pescovitz, M.D., at its regular meeting on June 28, 2024.

Nelia Afonso, M.D., professor, and Jason Wasserman, Ph.D., professor — both from OUWB’s Department of Foundational Medical Studies — each received the title.

“This prestigious recognition is not merely a personal achievement but a testament to the collaborative efforts of our academic community,” said Afonso.

Wasserman shared similar thoughts.

“The thing that means the most to me is that it was the result of a nomination of at least 10 of my colleagues,” he said. “It’s a really nice honor.”

The rank of Dean’s Distinguished Professor was established in 2021 upon approval from the OU Provost and the OU Assistant Vice President of Academic Human Resources. It’s a permanent, honorific title that acknowledges contributions of employed, full-time, tenured faculty at the rank of professor.

According to the recommendations from Pescovitz, the designation “shall be afforded to awardees who have superior teaching skills that encompass the breadth and depth of their discipline, a distinguished record of public service, and scholarly, creative, and artistic achievements.”

‘Truly been a privilege’

Sarah Lerchenfeldt, Pharm.D., associate professor and interim co-chair, Department of Foundational Medical Studies, nominated Afonso.

In her nomination, Lerchenfeldt said Afonso “exemplifies the criteria” for the title.

“Since joining OUWB as a founding faculty member, she has demonstrated unparalleled dedication to medical education, significantly enhancing both the academic and practical aspects of these fields,” wrote Lerchenfeldt.

The nomination noted Afonso’s scholarly excellence, particularly in the domains of education, clinical skills, women’s health, and vaccine hesitancy. Lerchenfeldt said that Afonso was principal investigator for the Merck Investigator Studies program project called “Promoting Vaccine Confidence in Medical and Dental Students.” The project secured about $179,000 in funding.

The nomination also pointed to Afonso’s efforts to develop and refine the curriculum for OUWB’s Art and Practice of Medicine (APM) course, previous awards she received, commitment to service, and leadership roles with organizations like the Southeast Michigan Center for Medical Education.

“Dr. Afonso’s tenure at OUWB has been marked by a commitment to advancing medical education, research, and community health,” wrote Lerchenfeldt. “Her work not only reflects the values and mission of our institution, but also sets a benchmark for academic and professional excellence.”

Afonso said it has “truly been a privilege” to receive the title.

“I have been fortunate to be part of this medical school since its inception and I am grateful for the numerous opportunities provided that have fostered my growth as a physician, educator, and researcher,” she said. “I appreciate the dedication and commitment of our faculty and staff, whose support has been instrumental in implementing various curricular innovations.”

‘Invaluable member of OUWB faculty’  

Wasserman , who joined OUWB in 2013, was nominated by a group of 10 other faculty from the Department of Foundational Medical Studies.

They called him a “prolific and influential scholar” on several topics: homelessness, clinical bioethics, and Holocaust medicine.

“His scholarship and research range from core bioethics topics, such as autonomy and informed consent, to empirical research and qualitative inquiry into homelessness and medical ethics,” they wrote, and noted that he has published three books, 12 book chapters and supplements, 64 peer-reviewed journal articles, 22 editor-reviewed articles, and seven invited articles.

“Dr. Wasserman’s extensively cited research has contributed to important debates surrounding ethics in medical education, care for homeless individuals, pediatric ethical concerns, euthanasia, the rights of patients without decision-making capacity, and immunization policy,” wrote the nominators.

They also noted Wasserman’s roles in shaping the Medical Humanities and Clinical Bioethics (MHCB) curriculum, replacing traditional essay assignments with extemporaneous self-reflection videos, development of interactive iBooks, serving as a mentor to more than 50 OUWB students for their  Embark  projects, and developing a national training course in bioethics for the Arnold P. Gold Foundation.

The nominators also mentioned Wasserman’s history of service. In 2020, he was appointed as one of only two Provost Fellows for Faculty Diversity at Oakland University. In 2022, he was honored with the OU Founder’s Day Award for Faculty Excellence in Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion. He also chaired the admissions committee for five years, served as director of student professionalism for nine years, co-founded  Street Medicine Oakland , launched the Center for Moral Values in Health Medicine, and more.

And he has plans to do even more, including launching a new student-led journal on ethics, humanities, and social justice, and a health care ethics debate tournament that will be open to all OU students.  

“One of the reasons I came to OUWB was because it was a new school and there was a lot of opportunity to be entrepreneurial,” he said. “I didn’t want to go to some well-established place where the expectation is you teach your courses, you write papers, and otherwise just let things run.”

For more information, contact Andrew Dietderich, senior marketing specialist, OUWB, at [email protected] .

To request an interview, visit the OUWB Communications & Marketing  webpage .

This work is licensed under a  Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 4.0 International License .