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How To Write A Wedding Speech: The Ultimate Guide For Do’s, Don’ts, and Delivery PART 1/3: Do’s

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How To Write A Wedding Speech: The Ultimate Guide For Do’s, Don’ts, and Delivery PART 2/3: Don’ts

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Someone you love is getting married, and you’ve just been asked to give a speech at the wedding. What an honor! But also, if you’re not used to giving speeches, what a nightmare! Public speaking can be scary , which is why many people prefer to avoid it. But when your bestie asks you to make a speech at his or her wedding, it’s time to rally. But now you’re wondering if you even know how to write a wedding speech! What makes some wedding speeches fun and memorable, and what makes others cringy and fall flat? We’ve got you. We’ve put together the ultimate guide for how to write a wedding speech, focusing on things you definitely should do, things you definitely should NOT do, and then how to deliver your killer wedding speech like a pro.

If you’re wondering how to write a wedding speech, here are a few “Do’s” to keep in mind.

Start planning early
Introduce yourself and how you know the bride and groom
Thanks to hosts, guests, and wedding party; congratulate the couple
Make it personal
Think of 3 traits with 3 stories
Talk about the couple
Have a beginning, middle, and end
Consider your audience
Keep it short and sweet
It’s okay to be simple and meaningful

1. Start planning early

If you don’t know how to write a wedding speech but the bride just asked you to give one, this is not a time to procrastinate. Public speaking is one of the number one fears many people have, so it’s likely you’ve avoided giving too many public speeches before this. And unless you’re a performer or a veteran improv comedian, you might not do too well winging this one. If you get nervous in front of an audience (as most of us do), the best defense against freezing up when you take the mic is being prepared.

As soon as you know you’ve been asked to give a speech at the wedding, begin jotting down notes immediately. Whenever you’re inspired by a thought of the couple or remember an anecdote that might be worth retelling, make note of it. This will help to give you a pool of ideas to draw from when you start writing down the speech.

Begin gathering ideas and writing the speech a couple of weeks to a month before the wedding. You’ll need time to edit, fine-tune it, and make it concise. And as wedding showers, bachelorette parties, and other wedding festivities begin, you might find there are entertaining stories from these events you want to add as well. If you want to write it all at once, you can do that too. However, make sure to sleep on it and come back with fresh eyes. You don’t want just “okay,” you want your speech to be heartfelt and meaningful.

You will also want to begin early to give yourself time to practice and rehearse your speech plenty of times.

2. Introduce yourself and how you know the bride and groom

No matter how large or small the wedding is, it’s likely you will not be familiar with many of the guests on one or both sides. And they won’t be familiar with you either. So don’t leave them guessing!

Make sure when you start to write a wedding speech to introduce yourself and mention how you know the couple. This will help them understand the context of your speech, which will also help it to be more well-received.

3. Thank hosts, guests, and wedding party; congratulate the couple

It’s also courteous to take this time to thank the hosts and other members of the wedding party for all the hard work that went into the event, and to thank guests for being there to support the newlyweds, especially those who had to travel far.

It’s also a good time to officially congratulate the newlyweds and offer them your personal well-wishes for their future. It is imperative that you don’t forget this part, because they are the whole reason you’re there and giving a speech!

4. Make it personal

Whether you are the maid of honor, the best man, father of the bride, or just a friend, you were asked to give a speech because of your close connection and relationship with either the bride or groom (or both).

And since you know your friend as well as you do, you probably have plenty of stories to share; so the next tip for how to write a wedding speech is don’t hesitate to make it personal and share those stories! This will also help guests get to know the other half of the couple they might not know as well or are just meeting for the first time. And those guests who do know them will love hearing some entertaining stories they might not have heard yet.

5. Think of 3 traits with 3 stories

If you’re finding it difficult to come up with anything, a useful approach for how to write a wedding speech is to think of 3 positive defining traits or qualities of the bride or groom and recount three stories or examples that illuminate a time they exhibited these traits. These stories could be comedic, heartwarming, or both. Just make sure they are relevant and entertaining!

6. Talk about the couple

If you’re the maid of honor and have been chatting up the bride for the whole speech, part of how to write a wedding speech is to make sure at some point it circles around to the groom, too, and to the two of them as a couple.

Recount the time you met him, or how you remember talking about him with the bride in the beginning stages of their relationship. If you don’t know the groom all that well, talk about how good they are as a couple and about how happy he makes her.

And If you’re not a fan of the groom, this is not the time to air your grievances. Always keep it positive.

7. Have a beginning, middle, and end

All good speeches have a good flow and take the audience along with it.

Don’t let your speech fall flat or jumble together in a haphazard confusion of disconnected anecdotes. Give it the structure of an overarching theme, with a beginning, a middle, and an end.

We are not talking about a novel here, just make sure there is a direction to where the speech is going, and that the destination, end, or sentiment is achieved. It doesn’t need to be Charlie Chaplin in The Great Dictator, but a three-act structure does help keep you grounded. Most people also follow a story easier when there is a clear direction for a story or speech.

8. Consider your audience

The next thing to keep in mind when considering how to write a wedding speech is to make sure you consider who your audience is.

This is not the bachelor or bachelorette party. There will be a wide range of people present from children to the elderly, and from close friends of the bride and groom to casual acquaintances and coworkers. Make sure your speech is free of any crudeness that might not be fit for such a varied audience. Also, this isn’t the time to take a shot at any of the religious cermonies.

Be considerate and keep it positive and use language everyone can relate to.

9. Keep it short and sweet

You want your speech to be meaningful and memorable; but the wedding is not about you, and yours is not the only speech.

No one ever complains about a speech being too short, but they do begin to grumble if it runs on too long. A good rule of thumb to keep in mind when figuring out how to write a wedding speech is to keep your speech between 2-5 minutes long. Any longer than 5 minutes and you’ll lose everyone to thoughts of cake and whether or not to Cupid Shuffle later.

10. Add humor

Don’t be afraid to be funny! Another tip for how to write a wedding speech is that if you’ve got a lighthearted, creative, joking side, use it and add humor to your speech! Everyone likes to be entertained.

This doesn’t mean you should scour the internet for generic wedding-themed jokes, but if you’ve got some good original material to use that helps relate a story about the bride or groom in a comedic way, do it. As long as you’re not making fun of the couple but having fun with them, jokes are great. Or you can even poke fun at yourself to illuminate a higher quality in your bestie. It’s all about making the newlyweds shine.

If you’re creative and have other talents, use them! If you are musical, bust out your instrument and/or vocal cords and make the speech in the form of a song! Use props, and get the other guests involved! The newlyweds will feel special because you created something for them, and the guests will love joining in the fun.

11. It’s okay to be simple and meaningful

If entertaining isn’t your thing, that’s okay! Don’t force it – just be yourself. It’s okay to be simple and meaningful with your speech. Always keep in mind when you go to write a wedding speech that what’s important is that you are genuine and speak from the heart.

Hopefully, you found these tips for how to write a wedding speech helpful, and can start writing today! And stay tuned to our blog for the next part in this ultimate guide for how to write a wedding speech where we highlight a few things you should definitely avoid.

Love this content and want more? Read more about weddings on our blog ! Involved in the wedding planning process and the bride is still looking for a venue ? Give us a call today and we’ll help you find the perfect place!

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How to Write a Wedding Speech

Last Updated: March 19, 2024 Fact Checked

This article was co-authored by Jenny Yi . Jenny Yi is the Founder of Chloe+Mint, an award-winning full service event planning company that specializes in wedding planning, design and floral design. Jenny has been in the industry for over 5 years, and also works closely with notable brands and celebrities on branding and events. There are 7 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page. This article has been fact-checked, ensuring the accuracy of any cited facts and confirming the authority of its sources. This article has been viewed 604,135 times.

For most people, their wedding day will be among the most important days of their lives. As such, it is customary for a close friend or loved one to deliver a speech congratulating the newlyweds on their union. This can be a nerve-wracking prospect if you’re the one called upon to give a speech in front of a big, expectant crowd. As the speechwriter, it will pay off to make sure that you’re organized, keep it concise and practice extensively beforehand.

Things You Should Know

Professional wedding planner Jenny Yi says the wedding speech should be “impactful, short, and sweet.” Explain how you know the bride and groom, share a quick backstory on how they met, then wish them well as a couple.

Sample Speeches

Writing a Meaningful Speech

The best man and maid of honor are usually each asked to make a short speech on behalf of the wedding party. After that, the microphone is sometimes turned over to whoever would like to say a few words.
Saying your name and briefly summarizing your history with the bride or groom will be enough. Don’t talk about yourself too much. Remember, the focus of your speech is the married couple.

Use jokes judiciously to break the initial tension and keep the crowd relaxed. Try not to let your speech turn into a stand up comedy routine.
Keep your humorous stories and remarks appropriate. There will be people of all ages in your audience, including children.
Funny stories might include a funny story about the bride and groom's meeting, or an anecdote about one of them as a child.

Step 3 Share memories of the bride and groom.

Sharing unique memories or stories is much more effective than simply complimenting the bride or groom because it is a more personal touch.

Step 4 Offer advice or well-wishes for the future.

If you decide to use a quote for this segment of the speech, make sure it is short, relevant and not a cliche.

Acknowledging the people who helped make the wedding festivities possible will make you appear humble, as well as making them feel appreciated.
Express your gratitude in a couple sentences. There’s no need to go on and on thanking every person individually by name.

Making Sure You're Prepared

Step 1 Write the speech well in advance.

Treat your speech like you would a school assignment. Compose several drafts, check it for errors and have a friend proofread it to make sure it sounds good.

Step 2 Know when you’re expect to deliver the speech.

Familiarize yourself with the order of presentation if multiple speeches are to be given.
Don’t spend the entire ceremony fretting over your speech. If you’re sufficiently prepared, you won’t need to give it a second thought until it’s time for you to deliver it.

Know your speech word for word, but try not to sound like you’re simply reciting it from memory. Pace yourself and give every passage emphasis, emotion and clarity.

Put your entire speech on a couple note cards rather than a several large sheets of paper. Not only will this look better, it will help you keep your speech at the appropriate length.
Only look at your notes if you draw a blank or forget the next part. This will allow you to keep your eyes up and engage your audience. Even the most riveting speech will be a bore if the person giving it is reading off a note card the whole time.

Giving the Speech

Take a few slow, deep breaths. Think about what you’re saying and shut out all other distractions. Imagine that you’re giving your speech to one person instead of a room full of people.
Have a drink or two if it helps your nerves. Just don’t have too many—you want to be focused and clear-headed when it’s time for you to take the floor.

It’s perfectly okay to give a short speech. Simply say a few kind words, raise a toast and hand back the microphone.
Speak slowly and deliberately. It’s easy to start chattering too fast when you’re nervous. By talking slower than you feel like you need to, you’ll probably be going at just the right speed.
People who are underprepared or extremely anxious tend to talk aimlessly. Avoid this by sticking to what you’ve written and look to the crowd for cues about when their attention is evaporating.

Take a moment to speak to the bride and/or groom directly.
It’s normal to get a little choked up! As long as you can finish your speech, there’s no need to worry. It may even be flattering, as it will show the people you’re talking about how much you truly care.

It’s customary for the best man or groomsmen to toast the bride, and the maid of honor to toast the groom.

Expert Q&A

Keep quotes to a minimum, as other people's words can distract from what you're trying to say yourself. Thanks Helpful 2 Not Helpful 1
If you're stumped on how your speech should flow, approach it the way you would a story: give it a beginning, middle and end. Thanks Helpful 0 Not Helpful 1
Ask an honest, objective friend to give you feedback on your speech after you've finished writing it. Thanks Helpful 0 Not Helpful 0

Never use a premade template you find on the internet to write a wedding speech. Your speech should be a product of your own unique thoughts, feelings and experiences. Thanks Helpful 6 Not Helpful 1
Don't drink too much before delivering your speech. Thanks Helpful 5 Not Helpful 1
Leave out especially embarrassing or offensive anecdotes. These are usually considered bad form. You're supposed to be honoring the married couple, not getting a laugh at their expense. Thanks Helpful 6 Not Helpful 3

↑ http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2110745/Lost-words-Top-tips-write-winning-wedding-speech-deliver-like-pro.html
↑ https://www.theknot.com/content/wedding-toasting-tips-for-the-maid-of-honor
↑ https://www.presentationmagazine.com/the-structure-and-etiquette-of-wedding-speeches-1041.htm
↑ http://www.artofmanliness.com/2008/07/22/how-to-write-deliver-good-best-man-speech/
↑ https://www.theknot.com/content/wedding-toasting-tips-for-the-maid-of-honor/
↑ https://finley-h.schools.nsw.gov.au/content/dam/doe/sws/schools/f/finley-h/localcontent/how_to_write_a_speech.pdf
↑ https://mediacenter.toastmasters.org/2014-07-01-10-Tips-for-the-Perfect-Wedding-Toast

About This Article

To write a wedding speech, start by introducing yourself and explaining how you know the bride and groom. Then, share some fond memories, like stories from when you were kids or how you met. Next, offer well-wishes to the bride and groom, such as wishing them health, happiness, and prosperity. Alternatively, try opening with a joke or funny anecdote, but make sure that your remarks are appropriate for everyone in attendance. Finally, briefly thank everyone for coming and for making the celebration possible. For tips on how to memorize your speech so that it doesn’t sound rehearsed, read on! Did this summary help you? Yes No

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How to Write—And Deliver—The Perfect Wedding Speech

By Shelby Wax

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If one of your nearest and dearest is tying the knot, it’s possible you may be asked to give a speech during the wedding festivities. And while having an opportunity to share your love and memories at a major milestone event is an honor, there’s no denying that it’s a big ask—especially if public speaking isn’t your forté. A wedding speech presents a unique challenge: There’s no set formula for how the speech should play out, but it often requires sentimentality, a touch of humor, and the good sense to know when to wrap it up.

Are you a member of the wedding party that wants to (or has been asked to) give a toast at an upcoming celebration? Read ahead to learn how to write and prepare for your big moment.

Who Gives a Wedding Speech?

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First off, it’s important to make sure that the couple definitely wants you to give a toast at their celebrations. Traditionally, the maid of honor, best man, and parents of the couple will give a speech at the wedding. However, the couple should explicitly ask these guests well in advance to give a speech so they have plenty of time to prepare. They may also choose additional wedding party members to give toasts at the reception or pre-wedding parties; but if the couple has not asked you to give a speech, do not prepare one. Speeches are carefully placed into a wedding timeline so the day will stay on schedule, and an additional five minutes could cut into strategically timed moments of the celebration.

The to-be-weds also have the right to curate the day as they wish, and occasionally at a rehearsal dinner or welcome party, the couple may open the floor to additional toasts. But if this doesn’t happen, grabbing the mic unexpectedly for an off-the-cuff speech (especially after a few glasses of wine) will not be appreciated.

How to Write a Wedding Speech

If you are asked to give a toast, it’s important that you don’t just wing it. “First, recognize that speechwriting is a creative process,” shares Allison Shapira, founder and CEO of Global Public Speaking . “Give yourself plenty of time to be creative (i.e. not the night before, when you already have so much to stress about). Wait for your most creative time of the day, and turn off any distractions. Spend some unrushed time thinking about your relationship to the couple, and what you’d like to say.”

While there’s no exact template to follow, there is a good basic formula to adhere to. “The framework I recommend for a wedding speech is: story, message, blessing,” she shares. “Tell a heartwarming story, share the message or value behind that story, and then offer a blessing or wish for the couple based on that message.”

“Typically, we advise our speakers to try to bring the audience on a journey where you initially try to make them laugh, then get to the real depth of the speech and earn some tears, then bring the whole speech full circle with a deep insight or story about the couple that ends with a funny final punch,” shares Steven Greitzer, CEO and founder of Provenance , an AI company that specializes in helping write personalized wedding vows, ceremonies, and toasts. “It’s important to have a good balance of humor and sentimentality because, if it’s a full roast, it can feel like you’re just doing a standup comedy show for your own benefit and it could lack substance. Or, if it’s too overly emotional, it can get heavy and perhaps a bit too somber for a wedding celebration.”

When choosing a story, Shapira recommends reading the room. “It should obviously be good-natured, without making anyone look bad. And, it all depends on the family dynamics,” she says. “What one family considers good-natured, another family could consider scathing. Choose someone in the audience whom you think could give you some helpful feedback, and practice the speech with them in advance.”

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Greitzer adds that it's important that both members of the couple are highlighted in the speech. “Great anecdotes showcase who each person was before meeting, their synergy together, and their individual and collective growth,” he shares. If you don’t know one member of the couple very well, don’t be afraid to get creative. “One of the best speeches I’ve seen was from a bridesmaid who hadn’t really been able to spend too much time with her best friend’s fiance because of the pandemic,” Greitzer shares. “She creatively read texts she found in her phone that gave her a hilarious timeline of her friend falling in love.”

If you’re still not sure where to begin, consider giving an AI platform a try to help you form your toast. “The Provenance tools guide speakers to create unique, and personal ceremonies, vows, and toasts without the stress. It’s a partner in your brainstorming process; a way to help you verbalize what you were trying to say—but faster,” explains Greitzer. “Instead of being some outdated, mad-libs-style template, the expert-curated prompts inspire special stories and insights, ultimately weaving your responses together into a custom, editable first draft.”

A final writing tip from Shapira? “I definitely recommend creating an outline but do not recommend writing the speech out word for word. When we script the entire speech, it sounds too formal,” says the public speaking expert. “I recommend first brainstorming the content, rearranging it into a logical structure, then drafting a general outline which you can bring with you to the event. While it may look better to simply give the speech ‘from the heart,’ the stress involved in trying to memorize your speech is simply not worth it.”

How to Deliver a Wedding Speech

Writing a wedding speech is half the battle—next comes your performance. It’s important that your toast has a good flow, feels natural, and doesn’t drag on. Here’s where the idiom “practice makes perfect” rings true. Shapira advises giving yourself a few weeks of rehearsal to make your speech feel authentic and fluid. Her recommendations? “Read your speech out loud and make sure it stays within the time you have allotted. Read it to someone else and get their feedback. Record it and watch it back. We use a tool called AMPLIFY to get AI-based feedback.” She adds, “Don’t memorize the speech, but do read it out loud and make sure it sounds like your voice.”

The ideal length of a toast is between two to four minutes, which translates to around 500 to 1000 words on a page. Still, Greitzer notes, “The perfect length for the wedding toast complies with whatever length the couple wants it to be. Many guests don’t realize that long speeches can impact the whole evening’s timeline and affect the caterer, DJ, and so much more.”

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While it’s now common to see toasts being read off a phone, both experts agree that it’s much better to print out your speech. “Reading off of a phone comes with the risk of distractions from notifications, a weird backlight that can affect the color of your face in photos, finicky technical difficulties, and having that annoying sound interference with the mic,” says Greitzer. (You also should make sure your speech is legible with a large font and wide spacing so you can easily find your place.)

The final hurdle of giving a wedding toast is getting over your nerves. “Find a quiet place right beforehand to center yourself (perhaps the bathroom or a corner of the room), pause and breathe, and remind yourself why you care about the couple,” recommends Shapira. She also adds—perhaps unsurprisingly—that it’s best to hold back on alcohol consumption ahead of the toast. “No one expects a perfect or professional speech; they want a unique, authentic message. The speech isn’t about you—it’s about the couple. Once you reframe the fact that the center of attention isn’t on you, you can relax.”

Wedding Speeches: How to Write and Deliver a Memorable Toast

Wedding speeches are an important tradition that adds a personal touch to the wedding celebration. They allow loved ones to share their feelings and memories, express gratitude, and wish the newlyweds a lifetime of happiness. However, with the rising trend of online marriages due to the ongoing pandemic, wedding speeches have taken on a new form. Online marriages refer to weddings that take place virtually, with the couple and their guests participating from different locations through video conferencing platforms.

In this post, we will discuss how to write and deliver a memorable toast, both for in-person and virtual weddings.

Who gives speeches at a wedding?

At a traditional wedding, certain people are expected to give speeches. These people include the father of the bride, the best man, and the maid of honor.

Here is a breakdown of the traditional roles of speech givers at a wedding:

Father of the Bride: This speech is typically the first one given, and it sets the tone for the rest of the speeches. The father of the bride welcomes the guests, thanks them for coming, and talks about his daughter and his relationship with her. He will usually end the speech by toasting the newlyweds.
Groom: The groom will usually give a speech after the father of the bride. He thanks everyone for coming, talks about his bride and their relationship, and thanks her parents for their support. He will usually end the speech by toasting his bride.
Best Man: The best man is responsible for giving the final speech of the night. He will typically start by thanking the groom for choosing him as his best man. He will then share stories about the groom, including some embarrassing ones, and end by toasting the newlyweds.
Maid of Honor: The maid of honor will typically give a speech after the groom. She will thank the bride for choosing her as her maid of honor, share stories about the bride, and offer advice for a happy marriage. She will also usually end by toasting the newlyweds.

However, more modern variations have emerged over the years, and other people may give speeches at a wedding as well. These could include the mother of the bride, the bride herself, the groom's parents, or close friends of the couple. It's important to keep in mind the wishes of the couple and to ensure that all speeches are appropriate and in good taste.

Tips for Writing a great wedding speech

Here are some tips to help you write a great wedding speech:

Prepare and Practice: Don't wait until the last minute to start writing your speech. Give yourself plenty of time to prepare and practice. Write down your thoughts and ideas, and then organize them into a logical structure. Practice delivering your speech several times, either by yourself or in front of a trusted friend or family member.
Structure Your Speech: A great wedding speech typically follows a basic structure. Start with an attention-grabbing opening that will capture the audience's attention. Then, move on to the body of your speech, where you will share your thoughts, stories, and advice. Finally, end with a memorable conclusion and a toast to the newlyweds.
Keep it Positive: A wedding is a joyous occasion, so keep your speech positive and uplifting. Share stories that celebrate the love and happiness of the couple, and offer words of encouragement and support.
Use Humor Wisely: Humor can be a great way to connect with the audience and lighten the mood, but be careful not to go overboard. Avoid jokes that are inappropriate or offensive, and keep in mind that what may be funny to you may not be funny to everyone.
Share Personal Anecdotes: Personal anecdotes are a great way to personalize your speech and connect with the couple and the audience. Share stories that highlight the couple's strengths and unique qualities, and that demonstrate the love and support they have for each other.
Avoid Sensitive Topics: Avoid topics that may be sensitive or controversial, such as politics, religion, or past relationships. Stick to positive and uplifting messages that celebrate the love and happiness of the couple.

Tips for delivering a great wedding speech

Here are some tips to help you deliver a memorable speech with confidence:

Manage Your Nerves: It's normal to feel nervous before giving a speech, but there are techniques you can use to manage your nerves. Take some deep breaths, visualize a positive outcome, and remind yourself that the audience is there to support you.
Project Your Voice: Make sure you speak clearly and project your voice so that everyone in the audience can hear you. Take your time, speak at a moderate pace, and avoid rushing through your speech.
Maintain Eye Contact: Maintain eye contact with the audience to help build a connection with them. Look around the room and make eye contact with different people, but avoid staring at one person for too long.
Use Pauses: Using pauses can help you emphasize key points and give the audience time to digest what you're saying. Don't be afraid to take a moment to gather your thoughts and take a breath before continuing.
Vary Your Tone: Varying your tone can help you keep the audience engaged and prevent your speech from sounding monotonous. Use inflection to emphasize key points, and adjust your tone to match the mood of the moment.
Practice, Practice, Practice: The more you practice your speech, the more confident you'll feel on the day of the wedding. Practice in front of a mirror, record yourself or give your speech to a trusted friend or family member for feedback.

Examples of great wedding speeches

Here are some examples of great wedding speeches to inspire you:

Father of the Bride Speech: This father of the bride speech is both touching and humorous. He speaks from the heart and uses personal anecdotes to illustrate his love for his daughter and his joy at seeing her marry the man she loves.
Best Man Speech: This best man speech is funny, charming, and heartfelt. He tells stories about the groom that show both his good qualities and his quirks, and he ends with a touching message of support for the newlyweds.
Maid of Honor Speech: This maid of honor speech is both heartfelt and inspiring. She talks about the bride's strengths and qualities and offers a message of love and support to the happy couple.
Bride's Speech: This bride's speech is touching and emotional. She speaks about her love for her new husband and her gratitude for the support of her family and friends.

What makes these speeches effective is that they all have a clear structure, with an opening that captures the audience's attention, a body that tells personal stories or expresses heartfelt sentiments, and a conclusion that offers words of wisdom or congratulations to the happy couple.

For more inspiration, there are many online resources that offer examples of great wedding speeches, including Hitched , Wedding Forward , and LoveToKnow Weddings .

Additionally, In the spirit of embracing new experiences, you may want to craft a heartfelt and personalized wedding speech by using Provenance , which has a number of modern online tools, including a Ceremony Builder, Vow Builder, and Toast Builder, as well as more in-depth services like professional speechwriting and public speaking services.

Wedding speeches are an important part of any wedding ceremony, as they provide an opportunity for loved ones to express their feelings and support for the happy couple. Whether you are the father of the bride, the maid of honor, or any other speech giver, there are certain tips and techniques you can use to write and deliver a great wedding speech that will be remembered for years to come.

Remember, a great wedding speech can have a profound impact on the newlyweds and their guests, and can create cherished memories that last a lifetime. So, if you have a wedding coming up, start preparing your speech early, and use the tips and resources we've discussed to create a memorable and meaningful tribute to the happy couple.

Common questions

What is the best time during the wedding for speeches?

Traditionally, speeches are given after the meal and before the cutting of the cake. This allows everyone to enjoy their food and drinks before the speeches begin and also ensures that the speeches do not run too late into the night. However, some couples may choose to have speeches earlier in the evening or during the reception, depending on their personal preference.

How long should a wedding speech be?

The length of a wedding speech can vary, but generally, it should be no longer than 5-7 minutes. This allows enough time to deliver a heartfelt message or share a few humorous anecdotes without losing the attention of the audience.

Is it okay to use humor in a wedding speech?

Yes, it is perfectly fine to use humor in a wedding speech, as long as it is appropriate and not at the expense of anyone present. However, it's important to balance humor with sincere sentiments, so that the speech doesn't become too light-hearted or frivolous.

What should I do if I forget my speech during delivery?

If you forget your speech during delivery, take a deep breath and try to remain calm. You can take a moment to gather your thoughts, look down at your notes (if you have them), or ask someone to prompt you with a question. If all else fails, you can simply speak from the heart and express your feelings in your own words.

How can I involve the audience in my speech?

One way to involve the audience in your speech is to ask them a question or invite them to participate in a brief activity. For example, you could ask them to raise their glasses for a toast or have them shout out a particular phrase or response at certain points in your speech.

How do I end a wedding speech?

A good way to end a wedding speech is to offer a message of congratulations or well wishes to the happy couple. You can also thank them for the opportunity to speak and express your gratitude to those who helped make the wedding day special. Finally, you can invite everyone to join you in raising a glass for a final toast to the newlyweds.

Online Marriage with Courtly

In recent years, online marriage has emerged as a popular alternative to traditional in-person weddings. Online marriage allows couples to legally tie the knot without the need for physical presence in a courthouse or a place of worship. One platform that has garnered a lot of attention for its online marriage services is Courtly. We offer customizable ceremonies, licensed officiants, and a virtual marriage license, making the entire process streamlined and efficient.

Couples can choose from a range of ceremony options, including secular, religious, and interfaith ceremonies. Furthermore, we offer additional services such as wedding planning, premarital counseling, and online resources to help couples prepare for their big day.

One of the key benefits of online marriage with Courtly is convenience. Couples can get married from the comfort of their own home, without the need for travel or extensive planning. This can be particularly appealing for those who have busy schedules, are unable to travel, or simply prefer a more intimate ceremony. Additionally, the online marriage option may be more affordable than a traditional wedding, as it eliminates many of the expenses associated with a physical ceremony.

However, it is important to note that online marriage is not without its drawbacks. Some may argue that an online ceremony lacks the personal touch and emotional impact of a physical wedding. Some countries may not recognize online marriage as a legally valid option, which can be a barrier for couples looking to obtain legal recognition of their union. It is important to do thorough research and ensure that online marriage is a legally valid option in your location before making any decisions.

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How to Write Your Wedding Speech: Etiquette Tips and Wording Examples

Writing and delivering your wedding speech can feel almost as nerve-wracking as sharing your vows! While your wedding speech is an amazing opportunity to give a special thanks to your loved ones, it can also be seriously daunting.

The good news? There are some super simple guidelines to follow when it comes to writing an engaging and memorable wedding speech, and it’s probably easier than you think. Keep reading for our top wedding speech tips, templates and wording examples to inspire you for your own big day.

Should You Give a Speech at Your Wedding?

You might be wondering if you really need to give a speech at your wedding in the first place. Isn’t that job reserved for your cheeky best man and proud parents?

With all of the craziness surrounding your wedding day, it can be tempting to leave all of the speeches up to your loved ones. But truthfully, we think a speech from the happy couple is a beautiful addition to any wedding reception.

Think about it like this. How many opportunities do you have to show your appreciation for all of your favourite people together in one place? Not to mention any guests who have made an effort to travel, help out with the wedding preparations, or simply support your relationship over the years. There’s bound to be some well-deserved words of thanks for the special people in your life, and a heartfelt toast is the perfect way to show your gratitude.

What Does a Bride or Groom’s Wedding Speech Need to Include?

There are a few essential elements to tick off throughout your wedding speech to ensure it’s a great one. Your wedding speech doesn’t have to be long (or boring!). It can be short and sweet, formal or informal, cheeky or playful. You can deliver your speech together with your partner, or say a few words individually – whatever feels right for you!

No matter which format you choose, it’s important to thank the right people, keep your guests engaged, and maybe even get them laughing. Keep the following guidelines in mind as you begin crafting your wedding speech:

A quick introduction. Whether it’s a formal welcome, or a funny joke to break the ice.
A special thank you to any guests who have travelled
A general thank you to everyone for attending
A special thank you to any loved ones who have helped you out with the wedding preparations (like your parents, bridal party or siblings)
How you met
The moment you realised they were “the one”
Your proposal story
Your funniest memory together
A memorable adventure shared
Words of affection. If you’re delivering your speeches individually, take this time to share a few heartfelt words of affection to your partner. You can talk about how much they mean to you, their best qualities, and your hopes and dreams for the future.
A toast. End your speech with a toast to your new partner – or if you’re delivering your speech together, a toast to all of your loved ones for being there.

Wedding Speech Wording Examples

Now that you know what needs to be included in your wedding speech, how do you pull it all together? Personally, we think the best wedding speeches are warm and light-hearted with a good dose of humour, while still being meaningful and sincere.

If you’re feeling stuck with writer’s block, draw some inspiration from our wedding speech templates below. We’ve included options that range from formal to cheeky to best suit the tone of your day!

The introduction:

“Hi everyone, and welcome to our wedding reception – it means the world to have you all here”

“Hi everyone – I guess it’s time for me to do this speech I scribbled down this morning over a glass of champagne!”

“Hi everyone. Before I go any further, I just wanted to make a quick toast to some really important people who I’m sure you’ll meet throughout the evening. Without them, honestly, none of this would be possible. Here’s to our bartenders!”

Words of appreciation:

“I want to first say a huge thank you to each and every one of you for being here. We feel incredibly grateful to have such an amazing group of friends and family, and it means the world to have all of our favourite people together in one place.

There are a few people in particular that deserve a special shout out. First, to our loved ones who have travelled interstate or overseas – [ make mention of guests who have travelled, or the different locations people have travelled from ]. We really appreciate you making the effort to join us – it wouldn’t be the same without you here!

I also wanted to say thank you to the people who have helped us plan this day, especially [ make mention of your bridal party members, parents, siblings or other helpers ]. We couldn’t have done this without your generosity and support.

And of course, to [ partner’s parents/family members ] who have always welcomed me with open arms. I feel very lucky to be joining such an amazing family today!”

Light-hearted anecdotes:

“It feels so surreal to be standing here at our wedding reception. It seems like only yesterday we [ share a funny anecdote about your first date, or the beginning of your relationship ]”

“I know that some of you might not remember how [ partner ] and I first met, and I feel like this is the perfect time to take a walk down memory lane – [ share a sweet memory or funny story about how you met ]”

When I first met [ partner ], I was instantly attracted to his rugged good looks and quiet confidence. Little did I know I was signing up to a lifetime of [ share a funny quirk, hobby or passion of your partner – for example, “failed cooking attempts and bad dad jokes”]

Where do I start with [ partner ]? They’re smart, good looking, kind, charming – sorry, [ partner ], I’m having trouble reading your handwriting. You’ll have to tell me the rest later.”

Words of affection:

“In all seriousness, I did want to say a few words to [ partner ]. You make me so happy, from the way you [ share something you love about your partner ] to the way you [ share some of your partner’s best qualities ]. Thank you for everything.”

“All jokes aside, I honestly don’t know where I would be without [ partner ]. Over the years, we’ve [ talk about your shared experiences, achievements and milestones ]. I can’t think of a better person to share the rest of my life with.”

“So with that being said, I’d like to raise a toast to the love of my life, my new [ husband/wife ]. Cheers!”

“So before we get back to the party, I want to raise a toast to my partner-in-crime, my best friend and my new [ husband/wife ]. Here’s to [ partner ]!”

“So now that the speeches are out of the way, let’s get back to the open bar! We love you all, and can’t wait to spend the rest of the night celebrating with you. We’d like to raise a toast to you guys, our favourite people on the planet. Thank you for being here!”

Wedding Speech Etiquette Tips

While the above templates and wording examples can be a great starting point, you have complete freedom to personalise your wedding speech however you like! Whether you want to keep things sweet and silly or romantic and heartfelt, your speech should reflect your personality and the relationship you share with your partner.

With that being said, there are a few etiquette tips to keep in mind for a well-received wedding speech:

If you and your partner are writing your speeches separately, be sure to agree on length and tone before you get started. You don’t want to plan a hilarious speech packed with jokes and funny anecdotes, only to have your partner deliver something deep and meaningful in return.
Don’t embarrass your partner! While playful jokes and funny stories are always a good idea, be mindful of where to draw the line.
Keep it short and sweet, especially if you have loved ones delivering their own speeches, too. Between 3-5 minutes is ideal, with 10 minutes being the absolute maximum.
You don’t need to go into specific detail when it comes to thanking your parents for any financial contributions. Talking about money during your wedding speech might feel a little awkward! Instead, make mention of their generosity and support instead.
Practice makes perfect! If the thought of delivering your wedding speech feels seriously daunting, be sure to practice your speech out loud before the day to boost your confidence. Try to memorise the most important elements of your speech until you feel comfortable, so you don’t have to rely solely on your notes.

Remember, it’s usually the thought of delivering your wedding speech that feels the most terrifying. Once you get started, you’ll find the nerves will quickly fade away. Simply keep these wedding speech guidelines in mind, speak from the heart, and you can’t go wrong. You’ve got this!

Need some help writing your vows, too? Check out our ultimate guide to writing your wedding vows here for some wording examples to get you started.

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How to write the perfect wedding speech

Easy Weddings

Whether you’re a wordsmith or not, the prospect of crafting and giving a wedding speech can be a little nerve-wracking — particularly if you’ve never had the pleasure. To make things easier, we’ve compiled 10 tips to help you nail your wedding speech.

If you’ve been sitting in front of a notepad for approximately two hours and three coffees, procrastinating writing a killer wedding speech because you haven’t the foggiest where to start, then let us provide some relief and inspo.

Between the team, we’ve brainstormed 10 tips we think will help you nix the butterflies, knuckle down, and write a bangin’ wedding speech that guests will be talking about (favourably) for years to come.

10 tips for writing the perfect wedding speech.

Timeless and romantic for Sophia and Kyle at their Quat Quatta wedding, Ripponlea. Photos by Kairos Works.

1. Engage your audience.

If you pay attention to only one of these tips, it should definitely be this one! Giving a wedding speech is a lot like telling a story. If you’re not making eye contact or speaking with tone, they’re going to lose interest very quickly. It’s always beneficial to put personality and flair into a speech.

This comes out naturally when chatting to a group of friends or when reading to a child. Take a deep breath, relax, and speak conversationally — not formally as if you’re about to give your year 11 science presentation.

Bonus tip: Try not to read from a sheet or cue cards if possible, and if you must use them, stick to brief notes and dot points. This will help you tell the story far more naturally.

2. Structure.

Sticking with the analogy of a speech being like a story, it’s a good idea to think carefully about the structure. Great stories have a beginning, a middle and an end — and your speech will be easier to follow should it be structured in a similar way.

Bonus tip: Conclude your speech by referring back to your opening remarks.

Austinvilla Estate Gold Coast wedding for Gabie and Scott by Commonstudios Photography. Boho rustic wedding QLD.

3. Balance humour with emotion.

Adding a couple of zingers or funny lines is a fantastic way to get the audience to engage with your speech, but remember, no one is expecting you to be the next Jerry Seinfeld!

Humour should ideally be used in moderation, and your bestie’s reception isn’t an opportunity for you to perfect your stand-up comedy routine (yes, even if it’s really good).

You might like to start out with a good joke to break the ice, but keep in mind that grandparents and children are likely to be present so avoid anything too risqué .

Bonus tip: Balancing jokes with emotional anecdotes is a surefire way to nail your speech.

4. Don’t get wasted.

Do we… even need to say this one? No matter how nervous you are, it’s not especially wise to down eight cocktails pre-speech. Giving a wedding toast when drunk is a recipe for disaster — and embarrassment for your friend.

It’s smart to set yourself a limit, such as only having one or two drinks before giving your speech. That way you can settle your nerves without being in danger of slurring your words.

Luxe coastal wedding for Maddi and Dan at Caves Coastal Bar & Bungalows near Newcastle, NSW. Images by Tatiana Rose Photography.

5. Timing is everything.

Trust us, if you go on for too long, things will get a little… awkward. Cue guests shifting in their seats and polite smiles from the happy couple. When it comes to giving a wedding speech, it’s important that you keep it short and sweet. Aim for around five minutes and you will be on the right track.

Bonus tip: Time yourself when practising. Or better yet, present your speech to someone else and ask them if they think it’s getting a little monologue-y.

6. Take it seriously.

One thing that you need to keep in mind is that being asked to deliver a speech at someone’s wedding is * Anchorman voice* kind of a big deal . While it’s okay — nay, encouraged — to have a little fun with it, it’s still important to take the responsibility very seriously. You have the honour of telling the happy couple’s story so you need to treat it with the respect it deserves.

White Chapel Black Hall Kalbar Wedding Luke Middlemiss Photography Ashlee Mark 39

7. Practise makes perfect.

The less you need to rely on your notes, the more natural your speech is going to sound on the day. The best way to get yourself to a point where you are not dependent on your notes is to practise, practise, practise! Run through your speech at every opportunity using everyone and anyone as your trial audience.

Bonus tip: Beginning practising is difficult as you actually need to think about giving the speech. Try to push through the nerves and practise anyway, even if you feel silly — your future self will thank you for it.

8. Choose a quote.

If you’re at a loss finding somewhere to start, then it can be useful to include a quote or a song lyric. However, make sure that the quote you choose is appropriate.

Stay away from tired quotes that have been done to death and pick out something that really means something to the newlyweds.

READ MORE: Need song recommendations? These beautiful wedding songs are big hits with our readers.

Romantic, elegant, classic style for Lana and Peter at their Cargo Hall wedding by Showtime Event Group at South Wharf, Melbourne.

9. Know your own style.

So, we’ve mentioned that when giving a wedding speech you’re going to want to connect with your audience. And if you’re forcing yourself to be someone that you’re not, then you’re going to find this a bit tricky.

If you’re not exactly known for being a laugh a minute then don’t feel pressured to make jokes! Similarly, if you’re generally a bit of a clown, then a formal, sentimental speech might not feel genuine. Instead, play to your strengths.

Bonus tip: Determine your own personal style and stay true to it.

Above all else, relax! Your speech is just a few minutes of the whole day, and everyone wants you to do well. Remember why you’re doing this: you love your friend and want to congratulate them and wish them a happy marriage — try to focus on them and what they mean to you.

READ MORE: Real brides share their best hens and bucks party ideas

Burnham Grove Estate elopement for Jess and Andrew, Camden NSW, photographed by Puzzleman Productions.

So you’ve nailed the perfect speech, but have you planned the bachelor or bachelorette party? You’ll find some fab ideas when perusing our list of hens and bucks suppliers .

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Wedding Reception Ideas

The Wedding Speech Order You Should Follow at Your Reception

We outline traditional and modern approaches so you can choose the flow that works best for you.

Getty Images / KristianGjorgjiev

In This Article

When you think about it, wedding speeches are to the reception what vows are to the ceremony. They inject emotion, joy, and personality into your event—and give all guests a chance to know the couple (and the people closest to them) a bit better. Since these special toasts are arguably one of the most important parts of your party, you likely want to do all you can to ensure they go off without a hitch, from timing them right to observing the correct flow.

As with most big-day details, there is a traditional order of wedding speeches to follow. While this age-old format makes a lot of sense—it gives your wedding's biggest VIPs (your parents!) the opportunity to speak first—it isn't mandatory; in fact, there are plenty of ways to adjust the wedding speech order at your celebration so that it better reflects your family or your priorities. “Nowadays, couples have their choice of following whatever order they’d like—or doing away with speeches altogether,” says wedding planners Bianca Hall and Erica Vanco of Estera Events . “Weddings only need to follow the rules and values that are important to you as a couple.”

Meet the Expert

Bianca Hall and Erica Vanco are the co-owners and lead planners of Estera Events , a firm based in Chicago.
Bree Swartz is the owner and creative director of Blossom Events , a Brooklyn-based full-service boutique design and planning company.
Kelly McWilliams , the founder of her eponymous wedding planning business in southwest Florida, has been in the industry since 2002.
A wedding and event planner and the founder of Rachel Behar Events , Rachel Behar is based in Brooklyn.

It's important to remember that while wedding speeches hold deep value, one size doesn't necessarily fit all. To help you navigate both the traditional and modern wedding speech order, we tapped Hall, Vanco, and a mix of other wedding planners for their best advice.

When Should Wedding Speeches Happen During the Reception?

Before we get into the order of wedding speeches, it's important to first determine when they should take place. Should the slate of toasts happen before or after the meal? According to our experts, there's a sweet spot: It's best to start speeches when food service begins. You have a few options. You can time a few speeches at the start of the meal, during the salad course, or begin during the main one, which often takes a little longer to get through. Another option is to hold off on speeches until dinner is just about finished; this allows satiated attendees to digest before getting back up for a full—and uninterrupted—night of dancing.

Wedding planner Kelly McWilliams, who has it down to a science, recommends the following reception timeline, with speeches peppered in strategically:

Introductions
First dance
Parent speeches
First course
Best man or maid of honor speech
Best man or maid of honor speech (the better speaker always goes last!)
Cake cutting
Second course
Parent dances
Couple speech
Dance floor opens

The Traditional Order of Wedding Speeches

The traditional wedding speech order is a little old-school. “It originated as a way to reflect the dynamics of the families involved and symbolize them blending together on this special occasion—beginning with the bride’s parents, then the groom’s parents, followed by the groom and the best man,” say Hall and Vanco. “The curated sequence was also meant to conclude the formalities with lighthearted anecdotes and camaraderie, leading into the rest of the celebration.”

Below, you'll find the traditional order of wedding speeches, which is as follows: the father (or parents) of the bride, the father (or parents) of the groom, the groom (or couple), the maid of honor, and finally, the best man.

1. The Father of the Bride or Parents of the Bride's Speech

Historically, the bride's father —or both of her parents—take the first speech of the night. “This is typically the way it was done because the parents of the bride would traditionally pay for the wedding, and having them kick off the toasts indicates to guests that they were the hosts,” say Hall and Vanco.

2. The Father of the Groom or Parents of the Groom's Speech

The father or parents of the bride are usually followed by the father or parents of the groom. This formality gives a nod of respect to another essential couple of the evening. “Having the parents of the couple kick off the celebration is highly recommended. They are full of love, joy, and gratitude, and really sets the tone for the evening,” says Bree Swartz, a wedding and event planner.

3. The Groom or Couple's Speech

Tradition indicates that the groom (or both the bride and the groom!) make a brief speech next as a way of thanking everyone for gathering to celebrate. “Having the bride and groom toast next keeps the energy up—and they can express their gratitude to their parents and guests,” says Swartz. (This may be the traditional approach, but many couples give their toasts first or last—as always, do what's best for you).

4. The Best Man and Maid of Honor's Speeches

Though the traditional wedding order would jump straight to the best man's speech, these days the maid of honor typically always says a few words, too. The best man’s speech is usually saved for last.

It is typical for these wedding party VIPs to come at the end of the speech portion of the evening—and their remarks do typically follow the parents'. “Having the best man and maid of honor raise a glass towards the end of dinner helps kick off those party vibes that guests are looking for when it's time to hit the dance floor,” says Swartz.

Getty Images / Anchiy

How to Switch Up Your Wedding Speech Order

While the traditional wedding speech order does provide a blueprint (and offers a good model for honoring your wedding's VIPs), it certainly isn’t set in stone. “The speech order may change based on various factors such as family dynamics, cultural traditions, or personal preferences,” Hall and Vanco say. And it's possible—probably, even—that you won't do all speeches at once. All of our planners champion couples to make their own decisions that align with their vision. “The only 'wrong' wedding speech order is one that doesn’t represent your style or feel right for you,” says Swartz. There are plenty of ways couples can shake up wedding speeches however they see fit.

Reduce the Number of Speakers

Many couples choose to shorten the length of their ceremony, and they can take the same approach during the speech portion of the reception to improve its overall flow. “We like keeping this to three speech-givers maximum,” says wedding planner Rachel Behar. “We’ve all seen them drag on and everyone just wants to get to dancing!”

Space the Speeches Out

If having a full suite of speeches is important to you, but you want to keep everyone's energy up, take a brief pause; this can have the same impact as curtailing the total number of toasts. “We usually recommend a break in toasts before inviting the best man and maid of honor up. This gives guests a breather, and they are more likely to stay present when taking in two to three speeches at a time,” says Swartz.

Stick to the Rehearsal Dinner Only

It’s quite common to hear speeches at rehearsal dinners these days. In fact, “some couples may choose to do all speeches the night before at the rehearsal dinner, rather than having any on the wedding day,” say Hall and Vanco. This will definitely encourage a simpler, tighter reception, and allow those preparing speeches to relax and enjoy the main event—but this certainly isn't for everyone.

Let the Most Nervous Person Go First

For couples unconcerned with the traditional order of wedding speeches, allowing the most anxious speaker to take the mic first is a compassionate choice. “If anyone is naturally nervous, have them go first,” affirms Behar. Remeber that “weddings need only follow the rules and values that are important to you as a couple,” Hall and Vanco say, so if ensuring that everyone stays as comfortable as possible during your party is a priority, this might be the right option for you.

Include Other Speakers

If the couple has a very important person in their life who isn’t necessarily a parent, maid of honor, or best man, there is no reason why they shouldn’t make a speech. “The only requirement is that this person be meaningful to the couple and should be a leading force in their lives, and that it feels natural and special,” says Behar. Hall and Vanco agree: “While each speaker contributes to the celebration, no one speaker is essential, allowing flexibility for couples to tailor the order as they see fit.”

Tips for Writing a Memorable Wedding Speech

A great wedding speech is sweet, succinct, and best expressed when memorized—though Hall and Vanco say printing it off is fine. Here are some of our experts' best tips for writing a wedding speech that knocks it out of the park.

Speak from the Heart

Sure, we live in the era of AI—but your wedding toast should't be penned by a robot. "We recommend writing from the heart,” says Swartz. All of our experts agree that writing honestly about your connection to the couple and their best qualities makes for the best possible toast.

Follow an Outline

Adhering to a loose structure, though, will help you stay on track, and there are plenty of online templates to lean on. “Go for an engaging opening, share meaningful anecdotes or memories, and offer well-wishes for their future together, while maintaining a balance of sincerity and humor throughout,” Hall and Vanco suggest as a framework. McWilliams echos the importance of nailing the opening, so be sure to focus on this part as you build out your toast: "Wedding speeches that resonate most start with a story and not an introduction," says McWilliams.

Thinking about the best way to open your toast? Skip the obvious first line, “For those who don’t know me...” and lead with a story, instead. "The truth is that nobody cares who you are until you tell a story that attaches you to the couple," advises McWilliams.

Consider the Audience

If you’ve grown up with the bride or groom, there’s a good chance you have some colorful stories to share. However, the ability to read the room is key. “Consider the audience and tailor your content to resonate both with both the couple and their guests,” say Hall and Vanco. Save those crazy college stories for the bachelorette party. "Stories that contain anything that could embarrass the couple or anyone in the room should not be included," adds McWilliams.

Keeping your speech concise is also crucial for keeping your audience engaged. “No more than five minutes,” confirm Hall and Vanco.

Focus on the Couple

Sure, you should (at some point) introduce yourself—but remember who the speech is about. Focus on stories about the couple; you should be a secondary character, not the main one. “Give insight to the couple from when they were younger, to their school years, to now. Shine a light on who they were and who they have become,” says Behar. You can then parlay your observations. “Share the moment you knew this time was different for these two love birds or when you knew they were the one for each other,” offers Swartz.

Offer Advice

If you’re in a long-term, committed relationship, a wedding speech can be an ideal time to offer sage advice. “Find words of wisdom or draw from your own experience on what it takes to build a lasting partnership, and raise a glass as you share your wishes for this next step in their journey together,” says Swartz. If you don't have the personal experience to back these sentiments up, stick to warm words, instead. "I think including your personal hopes for their future is very thoughtful," says McWilliams, who suggests saying something like, "My hope for you, and I think all of us here, is that you have a lifetime of the love and happiness that you have always shown us and that you are feeling here today."

Tips for Delivering a Memorable Wedding Speech

Crafting a great speech is important, but delivery is everything. Set yourself up for success with some of these public speaking tips.

Print It Out (and Use a Large Font)

To avoid looking disengaged and oddly lit, our experts recommend not reading off your phone. Instead, print or write out your speech in a large typeface. “It is typically dark in the room and if there are lights, they are very bright,” says Behar. “The larger the font, the easier it will be for you to read.”

Remember That Practice Makes Perfect

Familiarizing yourself with your material is so important—we cannot overstate this. “Practice your speech beforehand to build confidence and ensure a smooth delivery,” Hall and Vanco say. If possible, read your speech out loud for another person you trust to gauge the audience’s reaction and get comfortable with flow.

Speak Slowly

Though you might be nervous, giving a speech isn’t like completing a race—faster is not better. Speak slowly and clearly while focusing on the couple. “Making eye contact with the couple can help you focus on the gift you’re giving them versus focusing on the crowd of people,” says Swartz.

Taking space to breath will also keep your pace where it needs to be: “Embrace the moment with enthusiasm and sincerity, and remember to breathe and take pauses as needed,” Hall and Vanco suggest. If you’ve built in some laughs or tearful reactions, give them time to play out.

Above all else, take control of the moment and stay calm. “Remember why this is meaningful to you,” says Behar. Additionally, Swartz suggests taking deep inhales and even slower exhales to help you feel grounded. “I’ve seen some ladies take off their heels before they toast so they feel extra grounded, and I’m here for it,” she says.

Ultimately, those giving speeches should practice and speak sincerely. And when it comes to the order of those speeches? Couples should do whatever they want. “This is your night to celebrate your love in your own way, and you should be nothing but excited to have your chosen loved ones raise a glass to you,” says Swartz.

Typical timeline and breakdown of wedding speeches

The question of who gives speeches at weddings is best answered by coupling the traditional order of wedding reception speeches with who should offer them. So, the order of speeches at the reception below gives great insight into the who and how of these times at the mic.

The welcome toast

Who gives the welcome speech at a wedding? This honor is usually reserved for the parents of the couple. The purpose of the welcome toast is to make the guests feel welcome. It also centers everyone’s minds on the reception and evokes emotions from sentimental memories.

Reflecting on the union, the parents conceptualize the toast as a welcoming bridge of life's chapters. Be it the father's wisdom, the mother's warmth, or both parents sharing the limelight, this speech introduces the evening, setting a tone that resonates through the night.

The blessing

A customary part of the wedding structure , the blessing can be religious or secular. Close family members, the officiant, or influential community figures often offer it. Additionally, the blessing is a solemn invocation of joy and future success over the union. It transcends the marriage into spiritual realms, humbling the gathering before nature, love, and divine grace.

The best man and maid of honor toasts

If you’ve been wondering who gives a speech at a wedding, don’t skip out on those standing by your side. After all, these speeches, often the most anticipated and, subsequently, the most terrifying, are the products of unabated friendship and cherished memories.

The best man and maid of honor carry the torch of humor, sentimentality, and a dash of mischievousness. They speak of golden-oldie escapades, enduring friendship, and the unyielding support that bonds the trio of friends in the silent contract of trust and secrets.

The newlyweds' toast

This heartfelt moment the newlyweds share encapsulates the essence of love, commitment, and partnership. While not as common in all cultures, this modern practice allows the duo to express gratitude. They can also recognize the start of their joined life and, perhaps, sneak in a few playful comments. Doing such a speech can give the audience a glimpse into the dynamics of their relationship. A toast for the bride and groom is common, but a toast from them makes the evening even more special.

Who gives a speech at the wedding rehearsal dinner?

The rehearsal dinner, a pre-wedding soirée, often includes its own set of speeches and toasts. Who gives the wedding toast at the rehearsal is often up for debate. Sometimes, it’s even up to the mother of the groom .

It’s common for the parents or significant guardians of the bride and groom to give speeches at the rehearsal dinner. These are appreciated as more casual expressions of love and support, free from the structured formality of the wedding day protocols.

The couple-to-be

In modern times, it's also not uncommon for the couple to say a few words of thanks and anticipation. This can be a touching moment for the couple to share their excitement and appreciation in a less formal setting. They can also give a bridal party toast to thank their attendants.

Who should I ask to give a speech at my wedding?

Selecting the right individuals to speak at your wedding is a decision of great honor. While wedding planning, it’s important to think about who gives the speeches at a wedding reception.

Even if you’ve already figured out how many speeches at a wedding you’ll have, choosing the right mix of presenters is key. Plus, there are a few things to consider when weighing your options.

Understand the culture.

Wedding traditions are often deeply rooted in cultural practices. Understanding the specific expectations of who gives the speeches at weddings can save you from a diplomatic misstep. In some cultures, the godparents might have a speaking role, while in others, the best man’s speech might be a highlight. Acknowledge and accommodate these cultural nuances when selecting your speakers.

Give weight to personal considerations.

Bridal couples must feel a profound connection with the individuals chosen to speak. Discussing the expectations and the content of the speeches can ensure that the personal tales shared are in good taste and align with the couple’s narrative.

Know who will be reliable.

A wedding speech is not the time for surprises. Ensure those who speak are familiar with public speaking. They should also have a friendly, reliable, and potentially sober disposition (at least until after the speeches!).

Think about the emotional ties.

The speakers should have a meaningful connection to the couple or family. It's not about status or impressive titles; it’s about shared history and a genuine desire to honor the occasion with a heartfelt address.

Wedding Toast by Photos by Lanty on Unsplash

Consider the personality and style of the individual.

The most memorable speeches are those that resonate authentically with the personality of the speaker. Whether it’s a quiet grace or an exuberant spirit, the speeches should be a natural extension of the speaker's persona.

Ensure the person is willing to prepare a speech.

The adage, ‘fail to prepare, prepare to fail,’ holds true for wedding speeches. The selected speakers should be willing to invest time and effort into crafting their message.

Wedding toast hints for speechgivers

If the answer to “who gives speeches at weddings” is you, then here’s a short guide to pulling it off successfully. A worthy wedding toast combines humor, sentiment, and brevity into a cohesive, engaging message.

It’s a balancing act that not everyone can pull off, but with a bit of guidance, anyone can deliver a memorable toast. Who gives a wedding toast on your big day is important to them, you, and your guests.

Dos and don’ts of wedding speeches

Do keep it short .
Don't overshadow the other speakers.
Do share personal stories.
Don't dredge up old and potentially embarrassing tales.
Do practice.
Don't memorize word for word.

Structure of wedding speeches

A good speech usually follows the simple structure of an introduction, body, and conclusion. A toast, however, is less rigid in form. Keep it light and memorable, and always end with a direct “to the happy couple.”

FAQ about wedding speeches

Who gives speeches at weddings vs. rehearsal dinners.

Rehearsal dinner speeches tend to be given by close friends and family, often setting a more intimate and relaxed tone. In contrast, wedding speeches are a blend of formal and personal accolades, typically delivered by the bridal party, parents, and sometimes, the couple themselves.

Do people give speeches during the wedding ceremony?

Speeches during the actual wedding ceremony are less common but not unheard of. In religious services, clergy often deliver homilies that resemble speeches in their reflective and narrative style, sometimes allowing for personalized content.

Do the bride and groom give speeches?

As stated above, sometimes the newlyweds give some of the best speeches at weddings. However, if you want to add a creative twist, think about having a bride toast to the groom (or bride) or the groom to his partner. Giving a toast to the groom or bride from the newly crowned spouse can be a treasured moment.

Who will endorse your beginning?

Selecting who gives speeches at your wedding is an act of trust and tribute. Each speech, however, should not only resonate with the couple but also with the essence of the celebration.

Secure in the knowledge of who, when, and how these voices speak, you and your partner can rest assured that the echoes of the speeches will reverberate through the story of their marriage. If you’re wondering exactly how long your reception should be so that you can make time for speeches, check out Zola’s wedding reception timeline .

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I'm Great at Giving Wedding Speeches—But Here's the One Thing I'd Never Do During My Toast

Allow me to not-so-humble brag for a second: I’m really good at wedding speeches.

I’ve now officiated four weddings, given a best man speech, delivered a half dozen wedding toasts and I’ve helped a number of friends write wedding speeches. These public displays of my affection for the happy couple are always well received, and there’s one large reason why my speeches go over better than those of others: I don’t wing it and I don’t go off script.

You may now be thinking to yourself, duh, of course I’d prepare my remarks in advance . But that’s not what I mean. I don’t just prepare. I write out every. Single. Word. And then I read every. Single. Word. No deviation. No improv. No winging it.

The Horror Story

Everyone thinks they can lightly prepare their wedding speech or toast and just riff in the moment. This is a huge mistake . Best men, maids of honor, officiants, parents of the bride or groom—I’ve seen them all transform from happy-go-lucky wedding guests to deer in headlights right before my very eyes. They only prepare some bullet points. Or they decide they’ll just tell a funny story. But things never go over as they want. Inevitably, nerves take over, jokes don’t land, things they wanted to say get left out. Or even worse, the speech will go on and on and on while we all sit in our seats silently screaming to ourselves, Land the freaking plane, Grandma!

I’ve seen some of my funniest friends absolutely bomb during a wedding speech even though I know they’re good public speakers. Why? They jot down a couple notes and try to just “be in the moment.”

At a recent wedding in upstate New York, I watched one of the funniest people I’ve ever met (no exaggeration, honestly) start sweating bullets during his best man toast. He clearly had prepared a couple of jokes that he thought he could somehow navigate between in the moment. But when his first joke didn’t land, he began to panic. He began stuttering. He began searching through his notes for a way to salvage the moment. His voice began to quiver. The speech…wasn’t great. But it wasn’t the worst one of the night.

The other groom’s best man didn’t lose confidence. In fact, I’m pretty sure he thinks he delivered the best wedding speech in history. But he’d be wrong. His speech went on for sooooo long. He glanced down at a couple of notes he had brought with him periodically, basically as a reminder of the embarrassing story about the groom he wanted to tell next. With no script to read from, he had no idea that he lost his audience at about minute five and that by minute 11 we were all looking at our watches wondering how much longer it'd be before we could dance the damn Cha-Cha Slide.

This all could have been avoided…

My Foolproof Advice

At the same wedding that I watched these two loved ones struggle, I officiated a ceremony that was followed by handshakes and back pats from every friend I knew and every family member I’d never met before. It was a success because I had crafted (and rehearsed) a ceremony over the course of weeks—and then I read exactly what I had written down.

A wedding speech isn’t easy, but I would highly discourage anyone from leaving anything to chance. On the contrary, I recommend crafting a speech, practicing it, honing jokes, cutting out unnecessary details and practicing in front of a trusted friend. And then, when you get out in front of the crowd, just stick to the script. It hasn’t failed me yet!

A Few Other Tips

Besides keeping things scripted, I do have a few other small pieces of advice I can offer. First of all, keep it brief . It’s much better to err on the side of too short than too long. Second, don’t make it about yourself —keep it about the bride or groom. In fact, why not make a joke out of that? Early on in my wedding speech or toast, I’ll introduce myself and how I know the bride or groom, followed by the line, “But today isn’t about me…at least according to the program.” Cue the laughter. It kills every time, and it breaks the ice early on. (Feel free to steal it—the best comedians steal from one another.)

And that brings me to my next two tips: break the ice right away and make things funny . Breaking the ice can be difficult, so I recommend either making a self-deprecating joke right at the top of your speech (I personally go with, “You probably recognize me as the one who looks like Adrian Brody, only more sinewy and with less money”) or encouraging everyone to be loud right away (“This isn’t one of those quiet weddings so let’s give a big, rowdy round of applause for our bride and groom…”).

And include jokes where you can, but keep it clean. No one wants to awkwardly look over to the mother of the groom to see how she’s reacting after you make an off-color joke. Jokes can also be difficult, but that’s why you practice in advance (and why you practice in front of a friend). Keep the ones that work and ditch the ones that don’t.

You’ll Be Fine

The biggest thing to remember? This isn’t a life-or-death situation. This is a day of celebration where everyone wants you to succeed in your toast. And if you prepare in advance, practice your script and then read it word for word, you’ll have nothing to be nervous about. Before you know it, you’ll be high fiving the father of the bride as he congratulates you for totally nailing your speech.

The ‘24-Hour Photo Freeze’ Is the Wedding Etiquette Rule We Need in Our Lives

I'm Great at Giving Wedding Speeches—But Here's the One Thing I'd Never Do During My Toast

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A Heartfelt Thank You Speech for the Unforgettable Celebration

Every beautiful event must come to an end, and in the case of weddings, a wedding thank you speech is important. Guests came all the way to celebrate with you, your parents made sacrifices, and your spouse joined you. Appreciation goes a long way to making everyone happy.

However, there are rules and outlines for binding thank you speeches, which we have discussed in this post. So if you’re looking for guidance and samples that work, read this post.

Quick Navigation

Thank You Speech Wedding Inspiring Examples

Follow the thank you wedding speech examples below to show your appreciation for everyone. These speeches should be directed at the guests who spared their time, parents who were there all the way, and spouse who stays forever. The speech’s ideas are heartfelt, powerful, and have some humor to lighten the serene atmosphere.

These examples can also be adopted by couples with a little tweak. Hence, you can use these ideas as inspiration to write yours or adopt and personalize them.

Our closest family and friends, we would like to greet you on our special day and thank you for being here. Each of you has played a pivotal role in our love story, so your presence makes this day even more special. We have spent the last 10 months planning our wedding and we couldn’t have done it without your help. This is very valuable for us! Despite some moments that today didn’t go 100% as we planned, for example, we forgot our vows at home and tried to remember them on the go (which probably made the moment even more emotional for us), we are glad that everything turned out so great! Raise your glass and we’ll raise a toast to each and every one of you here today.

I want to thank everyone for being with us today. Many of you have come a long way to get involved and we thank you for your time and effort. As we embark on this next chapter of our lives, we are so grateful that we have your love and support. We would like to thanks our parents for their continued support and encouragement. Each of you did everything in your power to ensure that our wedding day went exactly as we imagined. To our guests: our day would not be complete without you. Thank you very much for coming. Cheers!

My new husband and I would like to welcome all of you and thank you for sharing this special occasion with us. We especially want to thank our parents. To my mom and dad, who not only helped plan my dream wedding, but also made sure I felt nothing but joy and love growing up. Our dear guests! This day wouldn’t be so enjoyable if you weren’t here to celebrate with us. My dear husband, you made me the happiest woman in the world and I am very grateful to you for this. You helped make all my dreams come true, including this wedding – after all, I started planning it when I was only 8. And now I understand that everything turned out exactly the way I imagined! So many wonderful people gathered at our wedding – thank you all for being with us today!

Today my family has grown larger and not only my new husband entered it, but also his parents and siblings. I am so happy that you are now part of my family! Thank you for everything! Mother and father! You supported me all my life and showed by your example what a real family should be! You have no idea how much I love you and how grateful I am for everything! Thanks to you, today I feel exactly as I always dreamed of! Thank you for making this day the way I wanted it to be! My dear husband, I promise to do everything in my power to make our world a happy one–because I know you will, too! You are the kindest and most powerful person I have ever known! I also want to say thank you to all our guests who are here today to share this wonderful day with us – I know many of you come from other countries and have come a very long way – this is incredibly valuable and means a lot to both of us! I propose to raise a glass to all of you, to all of my beloved people. You make me happy and this day is so fantastic thanks to you!

Thank You Speech For Wedding: Tips And Recommendations

jennyyoonyc via Instagram

Be Emotional

Add some humor.

Lighten up the atmosphere with some humor so that the guests would laugh a bit. You can incorporate a very short story of not more than one minute. A punchy one-liner with enough humor to liven the audience is also perfect. Make sure your story is relevant to the wedding day and your one-liner is easy to understand without explanation. Also, avoid dark humor or vulgar words.

Prepare In Advance

We always advise that you write your speech in advance, memorize, edit and keep it safe. And if possible, say your speech without a paper but keep it organized. However, you must also incorporate some elements of the wedding so that the speech becomes personalized and relevant in real-time. Mention names, situations, times, and elements specific to your wedding during your speech.

Be Relaxed And Calm

It can be a couple’s speech.

This is a bride speech, but of course, you call your spouse to the stage in the middle of your speech and the both of you can continue. And even if he doesn’t come up to join you, use the word “we” as you speak to represent both of you. The unison between both of you is what the guests should see as you start your journey forever.

Wedding Thank You Speech Outline

lorenzoaccardi.photography via Instagram

Welcome Guests

To write the perfect wedding thank you speech sample, you must follow an outline that starts with welcoming the guests. Remind them that you appreciate the sacrifice of their presence at your event today. Don’t mention any names as all guests are equally important. Appreciate them for their good wishes, the gifts, and everything they’ve done to make the day successful.

Describe Your Feelings

Say some words about specific people.

Don’t fail to mention specific people who have greatly impacted your life and the day. If you have a great relationship with your parents, talk about their contribution. Remind them that your spouse is the center of your day. Talk about his parents too and that friend who went above and beyond to make things happen. Appreciate them in your speech and they’ll feel seen and important.

Say Some Words Of Gratitude To All The Guests

Finish your speech by telling them where to get all the food and booze if it’s a buffet. Or you can tell them to relax and enjoy themselves as the refreshments go round. Make announcements inviting them to the after-party if it’s open to all. Also, wish them journey mercies back to their hotels and homes. Then sign off with a toast and your new name to make everyone smile.

What Not To Say In Your Speech At Wedding

thank you wedding speech bride and groom

chelseawhitephotog via Instagram

Don’t Add Some Bad Memories

For your wedding reception thank you speech, you must sieve and censor your words. Avoid including anything that brings up bad memories in your speech, even if it’s said in good faith. Desist from telling guests how your parents hated your spouse at first, or how you stuck by your spouse through his infidelity until he chose you. The guests really don’t want to know about your internal problems.

Do Not Cry Too Much

The truth is that your wedding event isn’t a funeral and you could get the guests worried by crying too much. So no matter how emotional you are, be in control. Let the excitement you feel be contagious and let the guests see your joy radiating. A few tears here and there, and that’s enough.

Do Not Joke Too Much

Another thing to note is that your wedding isn’t a circus or comedy show. So while it’s okay to add some humor and fun to your speech, don’t go overboard. It’s easy to lose the essence of your speech by making lots of jokes, especially those in bad taste. Moderation is key and a joke is one too many. Keep it as subtle as possible.

Do Not Make It Too Long And Boring

Your guests came to the party, to have fun, mix up, celebrate with you and eat to their hearts fill. So don’t over-stretch the timing of your speech, making it long and boring. The guests would lose interest and you’d be there rambling. Hit your most important points within the first one minute and wrap them up as quickly as possible.

What do you say in a thank you speech for a wedding?

Express gratitude for guests’ presence and contributions. Acknowledge their role in making the day special. Mention specific ways they’ve added joy. End with heartfelt thanks for sharing in the celebration.

What do you say in a wedding thank you?

Begin with appreciation for attendance and well-wishes. Express gratitude for gifts, specifying the thoughtful gestures. Convey excitement about shared memories and the start of a new chapter together.

How do you thank everyone at a wedding?

Circulate and personally thank guests for being part of the celebration. Acknowledge their efforts and offer genuine gratitude. Be attentive, approachable, and make everyone feel appreciated for contributing to the joyous occasion.

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Everything to Know About Writing an Unforgettable Wedding Welcome Speech

Bride and groom making wedding welcome speech at reception

Sarah is the Entertainment & Celebrity Editor for The Knot, with special focuses on pop culture and celebrity wedding news.
Before joining The Knot Worldwide, Sarah was a contributing writer for Bravo at NBC Universal.
Sarah has a degree in journalism and resides in New York City.

Throughout your wedding day, plenty of loved ones will raise a glass and give a toast in your honor. Wedding speeches are common at both the ceremony and the reception, and they're often given by family members, best friends, and bridesmaids and groomsmen—but that doesn't mean you can't get in on the fun too. Couple speeches, especially wedding welcome speeches, are becoming popular additions to the toasting lineup . Even if public speaking isn't your favorite thing in the world, you might feel inclined to say a few words to the loved ones who've chosen to celebrate your special day with you. After all, when else will you have your nearest and dearest all together in one room?

If you're thinking of making a wedding welcome speech, you're in the right place. To help you craft a toast that'll go down in history, we've created the ultimate wedding welcome speech guide right here.

In this article:

Is a Wedding Welcome Speech Necessary?

Who does the wedding welcome speech, when should you give a wedding welcome speech, the best wedding welcome speech writing tips.

When you think of wedding toasts, a few classic variations come to mind: The maid of honor speech , the best man speech , the father of the bride speech , and the groom's parent speeches are most common. But beyond that, some couples may plan to include several other nontraditional toasts as well (like a groom's speech , a bride's speech , a mother of the bride speech , speeches from your kids , or speeches from your siblings ).

With so many potential speakers, you might wonder if a wedding welcome speech is necessary. Here's the short answer: It's up to you! It's your wedding day, so you have the power to decide who speaks and when. (But, in our unbiased opinion, we think that a welcome speech would be a great addition to your wedding day timeline .)

Once you've decided to have a wedding welcome speech, you'll have to choose who's going to give it. The newlyweds are an obvious choice—it is your day, after all, and guests will love hearing directly from you and your S.O. But if public speaking makes you nervous (or there's a gifted orator among your wedding party), there are a number of other options.

If you envision having a welcome speech for your wedding ceremony, your officiant or a close family member would be great choices. Or, if you want to kick off the reception with a wedding welcome speech, you could ask your parents to take the floor. No matter who you tap to lead the toast, be sure to give them plenty of planning time to search for wedding welcome speech samples and inspiration.

Find all the vendors you need

When you've confirmed who's going to give the wedding welcome speech, work with your planner or day-of coordinator to incorporate it into your wedding day timeline . For those that want to have a welcome speech for the wedding ceremony, you might block off a few minutes once you and your S.O. are both at the altar before you begin your wedding vows.

Alternatively, you may prefer to make your welcome speech at the beginning of the wedding reception, after you've made your entrance and before you take the floor for the first dance . You could even have your parents give a welcome toast once guests are seated before dinner is served.

In fact, your wedding welcome speech doesn't even have to take place on the big day itself. You and your S.O. could plan to give a kickoff toast at the rehearsal dinner or happy hour party before the wedding. Ultimately, when you should give your wedding welcome speech is up to your preference. Just be sure you have ample time carved into the itinerary to get your moment with the mic.

Couple on wedding day planned by One Events Management, New Jersey Indian wedding planner

Whether you're a to-be-wed planning your own wedding welcome speech or you're a guest tapped by a couple for this prestigious role, you might be in search of toasting inspo. As self-proclaimed wedding speech writing experts , we're sharing exactly how to write a welcome toast that'll engage the crowd and set the tone for the rest of the party.

Lead Into it With a Song

Music plays an integral role throughout the wedding day, and it serves as a seamless way to transition into a speech. To avoid having unnecessary patches of awkward silence, work with the DJ or live band to work the wedding welcome speech into the musical timeline. Perhaps you want the wedding processional song to fade into instrumental background noise for a welcome speech at the beginning of the ceremony. Or, if the welcome toast is happening later in the day, have the person presiding over the music fade the reception entrance song so the speaker can have their moment. No matter what you choose, having a great song lead into the welcome speech is a good way to grab guests' attention—just lower the volume once the speaker begins so everyone can hear. (Need music ideas? Check out our all-time favorite wedding songs right here .)

Speak from the Heart

Instead of starting off your wedding welcome toast with something predictable, like, "We're gathered here today..." toss the expectations and speak from your heart. The best part about giving a toast at your own wedding is that there are no rules to follow. You and your S.O. could create a custom song mashup (like you've seen in so many maid of honor speeches), you could take turns sharing the mic, or you could even riff off each other if you have a shared sense of natural comedic timing and feel comfortable in the spotlight. What matters most isn't necessarily what you say, but rather that it feels genuine and honest. (If you're looking for great wedding speech examples , find our favorites here .)

Thank Your Guests for Attending

This is the most important element of the wedding welcome speech. While there aren't too many parameters to follow, it is crucial to thank your guests for celebrating this important day with you. You can go on to elaborate as much as you want to about what their presence means to you, but don't forget to express your thanks at some point throughout the speech.

Keep it Short and Sweet

As with all wedding toasts, salutations should be kept to a time limit—especially if you have multiple people lined up to take the stage (or the dance floor). Generally, reception speeches should be kept to two-and-a-half to three minutes maximum. Of course, since you're the newlyweds, you could always extend your time slot if you'd like. (Your wedding, your rules, after all.) In general, though, the same timing guidelines should be followed if you plan on having someone else make the welcome speech at the wedding ceremony, like your parents or your officiant.

To keep your wedding guests engaged the entire time, a three-minute speech will hit the sweet spot. It gives speakers the perfect amount of time to welcome guests, thank everyone for attending, share a personal anecdote or two, and get everyone hyped up for an evening of celebration.

Couple raising toasts after wedding reception speeches.

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Full Text: Harrison Butker of Kansas City Chiefs Graduation Speech

The Super Bowl champ and kicker spoke about the dignity of life, masculinity, and the most important role of all: motherhood.

Kansas City Chiefs’ placekicker Harrison Butker speaks to college graduates in his commencement address at Benedictine College on May 11.

Editor’s Note: Harrison Butker, 28, the placekicker for the Kansas City Chiefs of the National Football League, delivered the commencement address at Benedictine College in Atchison, Kansas, on Saturday, May 11, 2024. A transcript of his remarks is below.

Ladies and gentlemen of the Class of 2024: I would like to start off by congratulating all of you for successfully making it to this achievement today. I'm sure your high school graduation was not what you had imagined, and most likely, neither was your first couple years of college.

By making it to this moment through all the adversity thrown your way from COVID, I hope you learned the important lessons that suffering in this life is only temporary. As a group, you witnessed firsthand how bad leaders who don't stay in their lane can have a negative impact on society. It is through this lens that I want to take stock of how we got to where we are, and where we want to go as citizens and, yes, as Catholics. One last thing before I begin, I want to be sure to thank President Minnis and the board for their invitation to speak.

When President Minnis first reached out a couple of months ago, I had originally said No. You see, last year I gave the commencement address at my alma mater, Georgia Tech, and I felt that one graduation speech was more than enough, especially for someone who isn't a professional speaker. But of course, President Minnis used his gift of persuasion. [ Laughter ] It spoke to the many challenges you all faced throughout the COVID fiasco ,and how you missed out on so many milestones the rest of us older people have taken for granted. While COVID might have played a large role throughout your formative years, it is not unique. Bad policies and poor leadership have negatively impacted major life issues. Things like abortion, IVF, surrogacy, euthanasia, as well as a growing support for degenerate cultural values in media, all stem from the pervasiveness of disorder.

Our own nation is led by a man who publicly and proudly proclaims his Catholic faith, but at the same time is delusional enough to make the Sign of the Cross during a pro- abortion rally. He has been so vocal in his support for the murder of innocent babies that I'm sure to many people it appears that you can be both Catholic and pro-choice.

He is not alone. From the man behind the COVID lockdowns to the people pushing dangerous gender ideologies onto the youth of America, they all have a glaring thing in common. They are Catholic. This is an important reminder that being Catholic alone doesn't cut it.

These are the sorts of things we are told in polite society to not bring up. You know, the difficult and unpleasant things. But if we are going to be men and women for this time in history, we need to stop pretending that the "Church of Nice" is a winning proposition. We must always speak and act in charity, but never mistake charity for cowardice.

It is safe to say that over the past few years, I have gained quite the reputation for speaking my mind. I never envisioned myself, nor wanted, to have this sort of a platform, but God has given it to me, so I have no other choice but to embrace it and preach more hard truths about accepting your lane and staying in it.

As members of the Church founded by Jesus Christ, it is our duty and ultimately privilege to be authentically and unapologetically Catholic. Don't be mistaken, even within the Church, people in polite Catholic circles will try to persuade you to remain silent. There even was an award-winning film called Silence , made by a fellow Catholic, wherein one of the main characters, a Jesuit priest, abandoned the Church, and as an apostate when he died is seen grasping a crucifix, quiet and unknown to anyone but God. As a friend of Benedictine College, His Excellency Bishop Robert Barron, said in his review of the film, it was exactly what the cultural elite want to see in Christianity -- private, hidden away, and harmless.

Our Catholic faith has always been countercultural. Our Lord, along with countless followers, were all put to death for their adherence to her teachings. The world around us says that we should keep our beliefs to ourselves whenever they go against the tyranny of diversity, equity, and inclusion. We fear speaking truth, because now, unfortunately, truth is in the minority. Congress just passed a bill where stating something as basic as the biblical teaching of who killed Jesus could land you in jail.

But make no mistake, before we even attempt to fix any of the issues plaguing society, we must first get our own house in order, and it starts with our leaders. The bishops and priests appointed by God as our spiritual fathers must be rightly ordered. There is not enough time today for me to list all the stories of priests and bishops misleading their flocks, but none of us can blame ignorance anymore and just blindly proclaim that “That's what Father said.” Because sadly, many priests we are looking to for leadership are the same ones who prioritize their hobbies or even photos with their dogs and matching outfits for the parish directory.

It's easy for us laymen and women to think that in order for us to be holy, that we must be active in our parish and try to fix it. Yes, we absolutely should be involved in supporting our parishes, but we cannot be the source for our parish priests to lean on to help with their problems. Just as we look at the relationship between a father and his son, so too should we look at the relationship between a priest and his people. It would not be appropriate for me to always be looking to my son for help when it is my job as his father to lead him.

St. Josemaría Escrivá states that priests are ordained to serve, and should not yield to temptation to imitate laypeople, but to be priests through and through. Tragically, so many priests revolve much of their happiness from the adulation they receive from their parishioners, and in searching for this, they let their guard down and become overly familiar. This undue familiarity will prove to be problematic every time, because as my teammate's girlfriend says, familiarity breeds contempt. [ Laughter ]

Saint Josemaría continues that some want to see the priest as just another man. That is not so. They want to find in the priest those virtues proper to every Christian, and indeed every honorable man: understanding, justice, a life of work — priestly work, in this instance — and good manners. It is not prudent as the laity for us to consume ourselves in becoming amateur theologians so that we can decipher this or that theological teaching — unless, of course, you are a theology major. We must be intentional with our focus on our state in life and our own vocation. And for most of us, that's as married men and women. Still, we have so many great resources at our fingertips that it doesn't take long to find traditional and timeless teachings that haven't been ambiguously reworded for our times. Plus, there are still many good and holy priests, and it's up to us to seek them out.

The chaos of the world is unfortunately reflected in the chaos in our parishes, and sadly, in our cathedrals too. As we saw during the pandemic, too many bishops were not leaders at all. They were motivated by fear, fear of being sued, fear of being removed, fear of being disliked. They showed by their actions, intentional or unintentional, that the sacraments don't actually matter. Because of this, countless people died alone, without access to the sacraments, and it's a tragedy we must never forget. As Catholics, we can look to so many examples of heroic shepherds who gave their lives for their people, and ultimately, the Church. We cannot buy into the lie that the things we experienced during COVID were appropriate. Over the centuries, there have been great wars, great famines, and yes, even great diseases, all that came with a level of lethality and danger. But in each of those examples, Church leaders leaned into their vocations and ensured that their people received the sacraments.

Great saints like St. Damien of Molokai, who knew the dangers of his ministry, stayed for 11 years as a spiritual leader to the leper colonies of Hawaii. His heroism is looked at today as something set apart and unique, when ideally it should not be unique at all. For as a father loves his child, so a shepherd should love his spiritual children, too.

That goes even more so for our bishops, these men who are present-day apostles. Our bishops once had adoring crowds of people kissing their rings and taking in their every word, but now relegate themselves to a position of inconsequential existence. Now, when a bishop of a diocese or the bishop's conference as a whole puts out an important document on this matter or that, nobody even takes a moment to read it, let alone follow it.

No. Today, our shepherds are far more concerned with keeping the doors open to the chancery than they are with saying the difficult stuff out loud. It seems that the only time you hear from your bishops is when it's time for the annual appeal, whereas we need our bishops to be vocal about the teachings of the Church, setting aside their own personal comfort and embracing their cross. Our bishops are not politicians but shepherds, so instead of fitting in the world by going along to get along, they too need to stay in their lane and lead.

I say all of this not from a place of anger, as we get the leaders we deserve. But this does make me reflect on staying in my lane and focusing on my own vocation and how I can be a better father and husband and live in the world but not be of it. Focusing on my vocation while praying and fasting for these men will do more for the Church than me complaining about her leaders.

Because there seems to be so much confusion coming from our leaders, there needs to be concrete examples for people to look to in places like Benedictine, a little Kansas college built high on a bluff above the Missouri River, are showing the world how an ordered, Christ-centered existence is the recipe for success. You need to look no further than the examples all around this campus, where over the past 20 years, enrollment has doubled, construction and revitalization are a constant part of life, and people, the students, the faculty and staff, are thriving. This didn't happen by chance. In a deliberate movement to embrace traditional Catholic values, Benedictine has gone from just another liberal arts school with nothing to set it apart to a thriving beacon of light and a reminder to us all that when you embrace tradition, success — worldly and spiritual — will follow.

I am certain the reporters at the AP could not have imagined that their attempt to rebuke and embarrass places and people like those here at Benedictine wouldn't be met with anger, but instead met with excitement and pride. Not the deadly sin sort of pride that has an entire month dedicated to it, but the true God-centered pride that is cooperating with the Holy Ghost to glorify him. Reading that article now shared all over the world, we see that in the complete surrender of self and a turning towards Christ, you will find happiness. Right here in a little town in Kansas, we find many inspiring laypeople using their talents.

President Minnis, Dr. [Andrew] Swafford, and Dr. [Jared] Zimmerer are a few great examples right here on this very campus that will keep the light of Christ burning bright for generations to come. Being locked in with your vocation and staying in your lane is going to be the surest way for you to find true happiness and peace in this life.

It is essential that we focus on our own state in life, whether that be as a layperson, a priest, or religious. Ladies and gentlemen of the class of 2024, you are sitting at the edge of the rest of your lives. Each of you has the potential to leave a legacy that transcends yourselves and this era of human existence. In the small ways, by living out your vocation, you will ensure that God's Church continues and the world is enlightened by your example.

For the ladies present today, congratulations on an amazing accomplishment. You should be proud of all that you have achieved to this point in your young lives. I want to speak directly to you briefly because I think it is you, the women, who have had the most diabolical lies told to you. How many of you are sitting here now about to cross this stage and are thinking about all the promotions and titles you are going to get in your career? Some of you may go on to lead successful careers in the world, but I would venture to guess that the majority of you are most excited about your marriage and the children you will bring into this world.

I can tell you that my beautiful wife, Isabelle, would be the first to say that her life truly started when she began living her vocation as a wife and as a mother. I'm on the stage today and able to be the man I am because I have a wife who leans into her vocation. I'm beyond blessed with the many talents God has given me, but it cannot be overstated that all of my success is made possible because a girl I met in band class back in middle school would convert to the faith, become my wife, and embrace one of the most important titles of all: homemaker.

[ Applause lasting 18 seconds ]

She is a primary educator to our children. She is the one who ensures I never let football or my business become a distraction from that of a husband and father. She is the person that knows me best at my core, and it is through our marriage that, Lord willing, we will both attain salvation.

I say all of this to you because I have seen it firsthand how much happier someone can be when they disregard the outside noise and move closer and closer to God's will in their life. Isabelle's dream of having a career might not have come true, but if you asked her today if she has any regrets on her decision, she would laugh out loud, without hesitation, and say, “Heck, No.”

As a man who gets a lot of praise and has been given a platform to speak to audiences like this one today, I pray that I always use my voice for God and not for myself. Everything I am saying to you is not from a place of wisdom, but rather a place of experience. I am hopeful that these words will be seen as those from a man, not much older than you, who feels it is imperative that this class, this generation, and this time in our society must stop pretending that the things we see around us are normal.

Heterodox ideas abound even within Catholic circles. But let's be honest, there is nothing good about playing God with having children — whether that be your ideal number or the perfect time to conceive. No matter how you spin it, there is nothing natural about Catholic birth control.

It is only in the past few years that I have grown encouraged to speak more boldly and directly because, as I mentioned earlier, I have leaned into my vocation as a husband and father, and as a man.

To the gentlemen here today: Part of what plagues our society is this lie that has been told to you that men are not necessary in the home or in our communities. As men, we set the tone of the culture, and when that is absent, disorder, dysfunction, and chaos set in. This absence of men in the home is what plays a large role in the violence we see all around the nation. Other countries do not have nearly the same absentee father rates as we find here in the U.S., and a correlation could be made in their drastically lower violence rates, as well.

Be unapologetic in your masculinity, fighting against the cultural emasculation of men. Do hard things. Never settle for what is easy. You might have a talent that you don't necessarily enjoy, but if it glorifies God, maybe you should lean into that over something that you might think suits you better. I speak from experience as an introvert who now finds myself as an amateur public speaker and an entrepreneur, something I never thought I'd be when I received my industrial engineering degree.

The road ahead is bright. Things are changing. Society is shifting. And people, young and old, are embracing tradition. Not only has it been my vocation that has helped me and those closest to me, but not surprising to many of you, should be my outspoken embrace of the traditional Latin Mass. I've been very vocal in my love and devotion to the TLM and its necessity for our lives. But what I think gets misunderstood is that people who attend the TLM do so out of pride or preference. I can speak to my own experience, but for most people I have come across within these communities this simply is not true. I do not attend the TLM because I think I am better than others, or for the smells and bells, or even for the love of Latin. I attend the TLM because I believe, just as the God of the Old Testament was pretty particular in how he wanted to be worshipped, the same holds true for us today. It is through the TLM that I encountered order, and began to pursue it in my own life. Aside from the TLM itself, too many of our sacred traditions have been relegated to things of the past, when in my parish, things such as ember days, days when we fast and pray for vocations and for our priests, are still adhered to. The TLM is so essential that I would challenge each of you to pick a place to move where it is readily available.

A lot of people have complaints about the parish or the community, but we should not sacrifice the Mass for community. I prioritize the TLM even if the parish isn't beautiful, the priest isn't great, or the community isn't amazing. I still go to the TLM because I believe the holy sacrifice of the Mass is more important than anything else. I say this knowing full well that when each of you rekindle your knowledge and adherence to many of the church's greatest traditions, you will see how much more colorful and alive your life can and should be.

As you move on from this place and enter into the world, know that you will face many challenges. Sadly, I'm sure many of you know of the countless stories of good and active members of this community who, after graduation and moving away from the Benedictine bubble, have ended up moving in with their boyfriend or girlfriend prior to marriage. Some even leave the Church and abandon God. It is always heartbreaking to hear these stories, and there is a desire to know what happened and what went wrong.

What you must remember is that life is about doing the small things well, setting yourself up for success, and surrounding yourself with people who continually push you to be the best version of you. I say this all the time, that iron sharpens iron. It's a great reminder that those closest to us should be making us better. If you are dating someone who doesn't even share your faith, how do you expect that person to help you become a saint? If your friend group is filled with people who only think about what you're doing next weekend and are not willing to have those difficult conversations, how can they help sharpen you?

As you prepare to enter into the workforce, it is extremely important that you actually think about the places you are moving to. Who is the bishop? What kind of parishes are there? Do they offer the TLM and have priests who embrace their priestly vocation? Cost of living must not be the only arbiter of your choices, for a life without God is not a life at all, and the cost of salvation is worth more than any career.

I'm excited for the future, and I pray that something I have said will resonate as you move on to the next chapter of your life.

Never be afraid to profess the one holy, Catholic, and apostolic Church, for this is the Church that Jesus Christ established, through which we receive sanctifying grace.

I know that my message today had a little less fluff than is expected for these speeches, but I believe that this audience and this venue is the best place to speak openly and honestly about who we are and where we all want to go, which is Heaven.

I thank God for Benedictine College and for the example it provides the world. I thank God for men like President Minnis, who are doing their part for the Kingdom. Come to find out you can have an authentically Catholic college and a thriving football program. [ Laughter and applause ]

Make no mistake: You are entering into mission territory in a post-God world, but you were made for this. And with God by your side and a constant striving for virtue within your vocation, you too can be a saint.

Christ is King.

To the Heights.

harrison butker
benedictine college
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How To Write A Wedding Speech: The Ultimate Guide For Do’s, Don’ts, and Delivery PART 2/3: Don’ts

1. Start planning early

2. Introduce yourself and how you know the bride and groom

3. Thank hosts, guests, and wedding party; congratulate the couple

4. Make it personal

5. Think of 3 traits with 3 stories

6. Talk about the couple

7. Have a beginning, middle, and end

8. Consider your audience

9. Keep it short and sweet

10. Add humor

11. It’s okay to be simple and meaningful

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How to write the perfect wedding speech

Whether you’re a wordsmith or not, the prospect of crafting and giving a wedding speech can be a little nerve-wracking — particularly if you’ve never had the pleasure. To make things easier, we’ve compiled 10 tips to help you nail your wedding speech.

10 tips for writing the perfect wedding speech.

1. Engage your audience.

2. Structure.

3. Balance humour with emotion.

4. Don’t get wasted.

5. Timing is everything.

6. Take it seriously.

7. Practise makes perfect.

8. Choose a quote.

9. Know your own style.

So you’ve nailed the perfect speech, but have you planned the bachelor or bachelorette party? You’ll find some fab ideas when perusing our list of hens and bucks suppliers .

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The Traditional Order of Wedding Speeches

1. The Father of the Bride or Parents of the Bride's Speech

2. The Father of the Groom or Parents of the Groom's Speech