essay about bad influence friends

Essay on Effect of Bad Friends

Students are often asked to write an essay on Effect of Bad Friends in their schools and colleges. And if you’re also looking for the same, we have created 100-word, 250-word, and 500-word essays on the topic.

Let’s take a look…

100 Words Essay on Effect of Bad Friends

Introduction.

Friends are an essential part of our lives. They influence our behavior and decisions. Bad friends, however, can have a negative impact on us.

Effects on Behavior

Bad friends can lead us to adopt harmful habits. They may encourage lying, cheating, or even bullying, which can harm our character.

Impact on Academics

Bad friends might not value education. They could distract us from our studies, leading to poor academic performance.

Influence on Mental Health

Being with bad friends can cause stress and anxiety. It can lead to a feeling of constant pressure to fit in.

Choosing the right friends is important. Good friends help us grow, while bad friends can lead us astray.

250 Words Essay on Effect of Bad Friends

Friendships, an integral part of human life, significantly influence one’s personality and life choices. However, not all friendships are beneficial. The negative impact of bad friends can be profound and long-lasting, affecting various aspects of one’s life.

Psychological Impact

Bad friends can have a detrimental psychological impact. They may encourage harmful behaviors such as substance abuse, bullying, or dishonesty. Such behaviors can lead to feelings of guilt, anxiety, and low self-esteem. Moreover, they can distort one’s perception of normality, making harmful behaviors seem acceptable.

Academic Consequences

Bad friends can also affect academic performance. Students may be persuaded to neglect their studies in favor of unproductive activities. This can lead to poor academic performance, limiting future opportunities and career prospects.

Social Implications

The social implications of bad friendships are significant. Bad friends can isolate individuals from their families and positive peer groups, leading to a sense of alienation. This isolation can further exacerbate negative behaviors and mental health issues.

In conclusion, bad friends can have a devastating impact on an individual’s psychological well-being, academic performance, and social life. It is crucial to recognize the signs of a toxic friendship and take steps to distance oneself. After all, the quality of friendships is more important than quantity. Choosing friends wisely is not just about personal happiness, but also about mental health and future success.

500 Words Essay on Effect of Bad Friends

Friendship is a fundamental human need that shapes our social and emotional development. However, not all friendships are beneficial. Negative relationships, often characterized by manipulation, disrespect, and harmful influence, can have profound effects on an individual’s life. This essay explores the impact of bad friends on various aspects of a person’s life.

The Psychological Impact

Bad friends can have a significant psychological impact. Often, they are manipulative and exploit vulnerabilities for personal gain, leading to a decrease in self-esteem and self-worth in the victim. This manipulation can result in feelings of worthlessness and a distorted self-image. Additionally, bad friends can foster a toxic environment that fuels anxiety and depression, leading to a decline in mental health.

Influence on Behavior and Decision Making

Friends play a substantial role in shaping an individual’s behavior and decision-making process. Bad friends can lead one down a path of destructive behaviors, such as substance abuse, academic dishonesty, and criminal activities. The desire to fit in or gain approval can make one susceptible to peer pressure, compelling them to make poor decisions that they might not have considered otherwise.

Impact on Personal Growth and Development

Bad friends can hinder personal growth and development. They can stifle individuality and discourage positive change, keeping their friends in a state of stagnation. This can limit one’s potential and prevent them from achieving their goals. Furthermore, bad friends often lack empathy and understanding, which can lead to a lack of emotional growth and maturity.

Effect on Other Relationships

The influence of bad friends extends beyond the individual, affecting their relationships with others. Their toxic behaviors can strain relationships with family members and other friends, leading to isolation. Additionally, they can instill negative perceptions of others, causing one to develop unhealthy relationships based on distrust and manipulation.

The impact of bad friends is far-reaching, affecting psychological well-being, behavior, personal growth, and other relationships. It is crucial to recognize the signs of a bad friendship and take steps to distance oneself from such toxic influences. Building a network of positive, supportive, and uplifting friends can counteract the negative effects and promote healthier emotional and social development. As the saying goes, we are the average of the five people we spend the most time with, so choosing our friends wisely is of paramount importance.

That’s it! I hope the essay helped you.

If you’re looking for more, here are essays on other interesting topics:

• Essay on Childhood Friend
• Essay on A Day Out With Friends
• Essay on Trees are Our Best Friends

Apart from these, you can look at all the essays by clicking here .

Happy studying!

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My comment is that we should not keep bad company It’s not good

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Bad Friends (Essay Sample)

Table of Contents

Introduction

Ever experienced connecting so well with someone, only for it to turn out into a bad friendship?

We have all had our share of good friends and bad friends. If there is a toxic friendship you are currently struggling with, read this essay and see if these descriptions add up. For your sake and the sake of everyone around you, minimize the negative impact of this relationship by saying goodbye to it.

Writing a descriptive essay on good friends and bad friends, too? Browse through our website for essay examples, or reach out to us for essay writing services.

Essay on Bad Friends

A true friend is someone very difficult to find. This is because a friend needs to be someone you can always count on or rely on in times of trouble, just like they would rely on you if faced with the same situation.

It can be said that a good friend is someone who draws out positive emotions from you, such as affection and respect. However, not everyone you meet in life is a friend for keeps. There are also fake friends, most of whom would surround you and pretend to be good while secretly doing everything for personal gain.

Bad friends pretend to care for you. However, when you are not around, they will turn around and gossip about you with the intention of starting drama. It is thus important for one to differentiate a great friend from a bad one.

A true companion needs to be a person one can look up to. Traits such as trustworthiness, kindness, dependability, and loyalty are what makes a good friend. A good example of a rock-solid friendship is the one described by Mark Twain’s “Adventures of Huckleberry Finn.”

In the story, one will see how Huck and Jim always stuck together, even though society looked down on Huck for befriending a slave. The firm foundation of their friendship superseded social norms. The situation would not have been the same if Huck was not a true friend.

A bad friend will always take advantage of your kindness. They will only want you to do things that they feel are fun, but you will not see or be able to contact them whenever you need them. They will only want to hang out with you when they feel that they can use you to their advantage.

A bad friend does not keep a secret. They will always be talking to someone at school or in the neighborhood, spilling all your personal thoughts. This means that they are hard to trust. They will manipulate the truths you tell them in order to make others dislike you. Usually, there is a personal motivation to cast you in a negative light. Others, because of jealousy, will do this with the intention to hurt you or someone else.

When your trust in them becomes a blind spot, you may not be aware of their hidden agenda. For example, when pressed with a problem, you might approach them for advice. However, they will knowingly give you bad advice. They may convince you that they support you by being nice to you, but you will begin to realize that the advice they are dispensing is not actually the best. In fact, following their counsel will cause a lot of problems for you, be it socially, academically, or professionally. 

In addition, fake friends will always take advantage of you in any situation. For example, if you win the lottery, he or she will make sure you have spent the money to the last dime without giving you advice on how to invest. They will only be there in good times, but run away from you when you need them.

It is always good to weigh out the positive and negative effects of the people you live or socialize with before you decide to call them friends. The above descriptions could be a good starting point in solidifying those filters for evaluation.

If you have had several encounters with not-so-true friends in the past, I hope you don’t lose hope just yet. Sometimes, it takes us a while to find people who we want to keep in our lives. On the other end of the spectrum, if you have old friends you have somehow drifted apart from and miss, don’t pass up the chance to make them an important part of your life again.

A secure and empowering friendship is always worth every effort you put into it. Just as it takes two people to make a relationship, it also takes the same two to break one. Be wary of bad influences around you that could peer-pressure you into jeopardizing the great friendships you are already blessed to have. Stick to your tribe in both good and tough times.

Good Friends And Bad Friends (Short Essay Sample)

One of the most popular topics people discuss is friendship. Whether it’s our amazing best friends who are there for us through thick or thin or that dreadfully bad influence we had to get rid of, it would be hard to run out of stories about the many friendships that have affected our lives.

Many of us have experienced a fake friendship. These are connections with people who have the ability to hurt us because most of the time, we don’t see them coming. In the beginning, they always seem like positive influences and at one point, we probably considered them true friends.

A fake friend always has an ulterior motive. They create a relationship with people who they believe they can benefit from. While sometimes the goal is not primarily to hurt you, their deceptive behaviors ultimately will.

What we hope for in life is to have more friendships we consider authentic, secure, and loving. These are the kind of relationships we want our life to be filled with. We don’t even have to have that one best friend; we can enjoy many friendships that enrich our stories in unique ways.

5 Signs Of A Bad Friendship

• They peer-pressure you into doing things you don’t want. Usually, when someone tries to convince you to do what they want, there is a hidden gain. Other times, the person lacks empathy and awareness of your needs and blindly feels that what they’re asking you to do is for your good.
• They make you work harder to please them. They turn you into a people-pleaser and your ultimate goal in the friendship is to make them happy, even at the cost of your own.
• They make you guess what they’re thinking all the time. They assume that you are their mind-reader who automatically knows the right things to say and do. A secure relationship is always honest about unmet needs.
• They talk a good talk, but don’t really come through when it counts. Most of their assurances turn out to be empty promises, and you always find yourself on the losing side.
• They’re obsessed with their social network. When being friends with you becomes disadvantageous to the clique they are trying to build, they distance themselves from you without remorse.

What Are The Consequences Of Choosing Bad Friends?

It’s quite simple. A fake friend will always influence you for the worse. If you discover that you are liking yourself a lot less since meeting someone, it probably means he or she is not a keeper. You need to cut your losses and move on from the toxic friendship.

French teenagers on a boat in the Seine river, Paris, 1988. Photo by David Alan Harvey/Magnum

Bad friends

Even the best of friends can fill you with tension and make you sick. why does friendship so readily turn toxic.

by Carlin Flora   + BIO

Think of a time when you sat across from a friend and felt truly understood. Deeply known. Maybe you sensed how she was bringing out your ‘best self’, your cleverest observations and wittiest jokes. She encouraged you. She listened, articulated one of your patterns, and then gently suggested how you might shift it for the better. The two of you gossiped about your mutual friends, skipped between shared memories, and delved into cherished subjects in a seamlessly scripted exchange full of shorthand and punctuated with knowing expressions. Perhaps you felt a warm swell of admiration for her, and a simultaneous sense of pride in your similarity to her. You felt deep satisfaction to be valued by someone you held in such high regard: happy, nourished and energised through it all.

These are the friendships that fill our souls, and bolster and shape our identities and life paths. They have also been squeezed into social science labs enough times for us to know that they keep us mentally and physically healthy: good friends improve immunity , spark creativity , drop our blood pressure , ward off dementia among the elderly , and even decrease our chances of dying at any given time. If you feel you can’t live without your friends, you’re not being melodramatic.

But even our easiest and richest friendships can be laced with tensions and conflicts, as are most human relationships. They can lose a bit of their magic and fail to regain it, or even fade out altogether for tragic reasons, or no reason at all. Then there are the not-so-easy friendships; increasingly difficult friendships; and bad, gut-wrenching, toxic friendships. The pleasures and benefits of good friends are abundant, but they come with a price. Friendship, looked at through a clear and wide lens, is far messier and more lopsided than it is often portrayed.

The first cold splash on an idealised notion of friendship is the data showing that only about half of friendships are reciprocal . This is shocking to people, since research confirms that we actually assume nearly all our friendships are reciprocal. Can you guess who on your list of friends wouldn’t list you?

One explanation for imbalance is that many friendships are aspirational : a study of teens shows that people want to be friends with popular people, but those higher up the social hierarchy have their pick (and skew the average). A corroborating piece of evidence, which was highlighted by Steven Strogatz in a 2012 article in The New York Times, is the finding that your Facebook ‘friends’ always have, on average, more ‘friends’ than you do. So much for friendship being an oasis from our status-obsessed world.

‘Ambivalent’ relationships, in social science parlance, are characterised by interdependence and conflict. You have many positive and negative feelings toward these people. You might think twice about picking up when they call. These relationships turn out to be common, too. Close to half of one’s important social network members are identified as ambivalent. Granted, more of those are family members (whom we’re stuck with) than friends, but still, for friendship, it’s another push off the pedestal.

Friends who are loyal, reliable, interesting companions – good! – can also be bad for you, should they have other qualities that are less desirable. We know through social network research that depressed friends make it more likely you’ll be depressed, obese friends make it more likely you’ll become obese, and friends who smoke or drink a lot make it more likely you’ll smoke and drink more.

Other ‘good’ friends might have, or start to have, goals, values or habits that misalign with your current or emerging ones. They certainly haven’t ‘done’ anything to you. But they aren’t a group that validates who you are, or that will effortlessly lift you up toward your aims over time. Stay with them, and you’ll be walking against the wind.

In addition to annoying us, these mixed-bag friendships harm our health. A 2003 study by Julianne Holt-Lunstad from Brigham Young University and Bert Uchino from the University of Utah asked people to wear blood-pressure monitors and write down interactions with various people. Blood pressure was higher with ambivalent relationships than it was with friends or outright enemies. This is probably due to the unpredictability of these relationships, which leads us to be vigilant: Will Jen ruin Christmas this year? Ambivalent relationships have also been associated with increased cardiovascular reactivity, greater cellular ageing , lowered resistance to stress, and a decreased sense of wellbeing.

One research team, though, found that ambivalent friendships might have benefits in the workplace. They showed that in these pairings workers are more likely to put themselves in the other’s shoes, in part because they are trying to figure out what the relationship means and what it is. Also, because ambivalent friendships make you feel uncertain about where you stand, they can push you to work harder to establish your position.

‘Frenemies’ are perhaps a separate variety in that they are neatly multi-layered – friendliness atop rivalry or dislike – as opposed to the ambivalent relationship’s admixture of love, hate, annoyance, pity, devotion and tenderness. Plenty of people have attested to the motivating force of a frenemy at work, as well as in the realms of romance and parenting.

A s with unhappy families, there are countless ways a friend can be full-on ‘bad’, no ambivalence about it. Susan Heitler, a clinical psychologist in Denver, and Sharon Livingston, a psychologist and marketing consultant in New York, have studied the issue, and found some typical qualities: a bad friend makes you feel competitive with her other friends; she talks much more about herself than you do about yourself; she criticises you in a self-righteous way but is defensive when you criticise her; she makes you feel you’re walking on eggshells and might easily spark her anger or disapproval; she has you on an emotional rollercoaster where one day she’s responsive and complimentary and the next she freezes you out.

In 2014 , a team at Carnegie Mellon University in Pittsburgh found that, as the amount of negativity in relationships increased for healthy women aged over 50, so did their risk of developing hypertension. Negative social interactions – incidents including excessive demands, criticism, disappointment and disagreeable exchanges – were related to a 38 per cent increased risk. For men, there was no link between bad relationships and high blood pressure. This is likely because women care more about, and are socialised to pay more attention to, relationships.

Negative interactions can lead to inflammation, too, in both men and women. Jessica Chiang, a researcher at the University of California, Los Angeles, who conducted a study showing as much, has said that an accumulation of social stressors could cause physical damage, just like an actual toxin.

Some of our most hurtful friendships start out good, but then became bad. Among teens, for example, the rates of cyber aggression are 4.3 times higher between friends than between friends of friends. Or as Diane de Poitiers, the 16th-century mistress of King Henry II of France, said: ‘To have a good enemy, choose a friend: he knows where to strike.’

The writer Robert Greene addresses the slippery slope in his book The 48 Laws of Power (1998). Bringing friends into your professional endeavours can aid the gradual crossover from ‘good’ to ‘bad’, he warns, in part because of how we react to grand favours:

Strangely enough, it is your act of kindness that unbalances everything. People want to feel they deserve their good fortune. The receipt of a favour can become oppressive: it means you have been chosen because you are a friend, not necessarily because you are deserving. There is almost a touch of condescension in the act of hiring friends that secretly afflicts them. The injury will come out slowly: a little more honesty, flashes of resentment and envy here and there, and before you know it your friendship fades.

Ah – so too much giving and ‘a little more honesty’ are friendship-disrupters? That conclusion, which runs counter to the ethos of total openness and unlimited generosity between friends, provides a clue as to why there are so many ‘bad’, ‘good and bad’, and ‘good, then bad’ friends. In his paper ‘The Evolution of Reciprocal Altruism’ (1971), the evolutionary biologist Robert Trivers concludes that ‘each individual human is seen as possessing altruistic and cheating tendencies’, where cheating means giving at least a bit less (or taking at least a bit more) than a friend would give or take from us.

Good people do attract more friends (though being a high-status good person helps)

Trivers goes on to explain that we have evolved to be subtle cheaters, with complex mechanisms for regulating bigger cheaters and also ‘too much’ altruism. He writes:

In gross cheating, the cheater fails to reciprocate at all, and the altruist suffers the costs of whatever altruism he has dispensed without any compensating benefit… clearly, selection will strongly favour prompt discrimination against the gross cheater. Subtle cheating, by contrast, involves reciprocating, but always attempting to give less than one was given, or more precisely, to give less than the partner would give if the situation were reversed.

The rewarding emotion of ‘liking’ someone is also a part of this psychological regulation system, and selection will favour liking those who are altruistic: good people do attract more friends (though being a high-status good person helps). But the issue is not whether we are cheaters or altruists, good or bad, but to what degree are we each of those things in different contexts and relationships.

P erhaps this seesaw between cheating and altruism, which settles to a midpoint of 50/50, explains why 50 per cent keeps coming up in research on friends and relationships. Recall that half of our friendships are non-reciprocal, half of our social network consists of ambivalent relationships, and – to dip into the adjacent field of lie detection – the average person detects lies right around 50 per cent of the time. We evolved to be able to detect enough lies to not be totally swindled, but not enough to wither under the harsh truths of (white-lie-free) social interactions. Likewise, we’ve evolved to detect some cheating behaviours in friends, but not enough to prohibit our ability to be friends with people at all. As the seesaw wobbles, so do our friendships.

Should this sound like a complicated business to you, Trivers agrees, and in fact speculates that the development of this system for regulating altruism among non-kin members is what made our brains grow so big in the Pleistocene. Many neuroscientists agree with his conclusion: humans are smart so that we can navigate friendship.

The psychologist Jan Yager, author of When Friendship Hurts (2002), found that 68 per cent of survey respondents had been betrayed by a friend. Who are these betrayers? At such high numbers, could ‘they’ be us?

We somehow expect friendships to be forever. Friendship break-ups challenge our vision of who we are

That scary thought leads me to ask: are we really striving to forgive small sins? To air our grievances before they accumulate and blow up our friendships? To make the effort to get together? To give others the benefit of the doubt? Are we giving what we can, or keeping score? Are we unfairly expecting friends to think and believe the exact same things we do? Are we really doing the best we can? Well, maybe that’s what most of our friends think they are doing, too. And if they aren’t being a good friend, or if they have drifted away from us, or we from them, maybe we can accept these common rifts, without giving into a guilt so overwhelming that it pushes us to slap a label on those we no longer want for friends: toxic.

When a friend breaks up with us, or disappears without explanation, it can be devastating. Even though the churning and pruning of social networks is common over time, we still somehow expect friendships to be forever. Friendship break-ups challenge our vision of who we are, especially if we’ve been intertwined with a friend for many years. Pulsing with hurt in the wake of a friend break-up, we hurl him or her into the ‘bad friends’ basket.

But, sometimes, we have to drop a friend to become ourselves. In Connecting in College (2016), the sociologist Janice McCabe argues that ending friendships in young adulthood is a way of advancing our identities. We construct our self-images and personalities against our friends, in both positive and negative ways.

As much as we need to take responsibility for being better friends and for our part in relationship conflict and break-ups, quite a few factors surrounding friendship are out of our control. Social network embeddedness, where you and another person have many friends in common, for instance, is a big challenge. Let’s say someone crosses a line, but you don’t want to disturb the group, so you don’t declare that you no longer think of him as a friend. You pull back from him, but not so much that it will spark a direct confrontation, whereby people would then be forced to invite only one of you, but not both, to events. Sometimes we are yoked to bad friends.

The forces that dictate whom we stay close to and whom we let go can be mysterious even to ourselves. Aren’t there people you like very much whom you haven’t contacted in a long time? And others you don’t connect with as well whom you see more often? The former group might be pencilling you into their ‘bad friend’ column right now.

Dealing with bad friends, getting dumped by them, and feeling disappointed with them is a stressful part of life, and it can harm your body and mind. Yet having no friends at all is a far worse fate. Imagine a child’s desperation for a playmate, a teenager’s deep longing for someone who ‘gets’ her, or an adult’s realisation that there is no one with whom he can share a failure or even a success. Loneliness is as painful as extreme thirst or hunger. John Cacioppo, a professor of sociology at the University of Chicago, has found associations between loneliness and depression, obesity, alcoholism, cardiovascular problems, sleep dysfunction, high blood pressure, the progression of Alzheimer’s disease, cynical world views and suicidal thoughts. But if you have friend problems, you have friends – and that means you’re pretty lucky.

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How Friends Influence One Another–For Better or Worse–in High School

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High school students face many of the same friendship dynamics as elementary and middle school students, yet friendship operates in distinct ways in these later adolescence years. The buffering effect friends provided in earlier childhood, for example, seems to disappear. “Not only did the presence of friends not reduce stress,” writes Lydia Denworth in the 2020 book Friendship : “It made things worse. Cortisol levels went up.” 

By the time students reach high school, friendships become more stable. “In middle school, it’s unusual for an individual to maintain the same group of close friends over the space of 18 months,” says B. Bradford Brown, an educational psychology professor at the University of Wisconsin-Madison: “In high school, that is no longer the case.” 

Likely because  individual identities are more solidified , older teens  tolerate greater dissimilarity  in one another. As a result, compromise and collaboration increasingly take the place of conformity.

Like friendship churn, concern over one’s reputation in broader groups peaks in middle school (and early high school). That leaves most high school students relatively less worried about their larger reputation and more focused on the social dynamics within their chosen peer groups, Brown says. It’s a much more adult-like approach. Though we care about being popular our whole lives, many of us begin to focus more on the likeability aspect of popularity than the status side of things as we age, says Mitch Prinstein , a professor of psychology and neuroscience at the University of North Carolina and author of Popular . 

A shift in the primacy of romantic partners vis-a-vis friends takes place as well. Over the course of mid-to-late adolescence, romantic partners “increasingly rival and eventually surpass friends in terms of closeness,” says  Brett Laursen , a child psychology professor at Florida Atlantic University. By the tenth grade, teens tend to interact more with romantic partners than anyone else, and research Laursen has been part of shows that as adolescents become involved in romantic relationships, their drinking increasingly mirrors that of their partners rather than their friends.

Peer influence as a positive?

As a predictable corollary, romantic partners begin to exert more influence than friends in high school, and friend groups more than larger crowds.

Most educators know the basics of peer pressure. One famous study showed that the number of one’s friends using drugs is the biggest determinant of drug use. We also know that when peers are present, adolescents take more risks (for example, teenage males drive faster in the presence of other teenage boys). 

But recent research reveals a twist: It’s not necessarily because of any direct egging on. Just presence is enough, because the reward centers of adolescents’ brains are more active with peers than when alone, according to the research of Temple University’s Laurence Steinberg . For her book, Denworth tracked him down as well as Sarah-Jayne Blakemore , a professor of psychology and cognitive neuroscience at University of Cambridge, who explained the academic upside: “Risk taking in an educational context is a vital skill that enables progress and creativity.” 

That’s just one positive lens on peer influence . Scott Gest , a University of Virginia professor, says: “People talk about negative peer influence … but they neglect the pretty substantial literature that shows a lot of negative behavior of high school kids is discouraged by friends. There is a lot of very positive pressure that peers apply, like, ‘No man, that’s stupid.’” This “obstructing” is one of the many underreported modes of peer influence, Brown says. There’s also teasing, reinforcement such as laughing or nodding, and creating situations that facilitate a certain type of behavior, like throwing an unchaperoned party. None of these modes is inherently good or bad, Brown points out. A teen could just as easily create a situation conducive to altruism, like asking a friend to meet them at the food pantry before a concert, knowing full well they’ll end up handing out meals for a few minutes—or cracking a joke about tongue brushing that reinforces oral hygiene.

“Behavioral display,” or modeling that leads to emulation, is another type of peer influence. In one 2018 study of college freshmen, researchers found “having friends with higher propensities to study is predictive of receiving higher freshman grades.” Because the study looked at both assigned roommate pairings and chosen friend groups, the researchers were able to show the effect wasn’t just a reflection of “selection bias,” with studious kids having already chosen to befriend each other. Hanging out with someone studious, they concluded, caused adolescents to study for more hours and post higher grades. The findings confirm previous research showing a correlation between how a child views the importance of doing well in school and how their friends do. 

Similar effects have been demonstrated for volunteer work and health-promotive behaviors, such as exercise, Prinstein says. Positive change has also been documented in high school students dating high-functioning peers.

What does all this mean for educators? Influential students can be explicitly tapped to improve classroom dynamics. In one program , kids were trained to publicly encourage anti-conflict norms. Disciplinary reports of student conflict dropped 30% over one year. This success may be owed in part to the fact that the program enlisted kids’ help. Efforts that engage teens in actual, real-life tasks have been the most promising when it comes to changing the content of the values transmitted within adolescent peer groups. Other successful efforts to “benevolently exploit peer influence,” as Prinstein puts it, include using small group discussions to combat bullying and drinking.

Why meddling can backfire

Ready for another twist? In the anti-conflict norms study, the effect among kids was stronger when the messengers were popular, but were popular for their likeabaility, not status. 

Laursen, who is also editor in chief of the International Journal of Behavioral Development , helps explain why: “Influence within friend pairings is unilateral and unidirectional, flowing to the child who has the potential to have more friends outside the relationship.” That means, “if I’m better liked, and I drink less than you, your rate of increasing drinking is going to slow down,” he says. But it cuts both ways . Delinquency, for example, tends to increase when a less-accepted child befriends someone more delinquent. When it comes to academic improvement, Laursen says, “if it’s the less-liked peer doing better in school, forget about it.”

For this same reason, he says adults must “tread carefully” in trying to manipulate friendships. It’s just very hard from the outside to know what a kid is and isn’t getting from interactions with a peer: “Let’s say you are a parent and you have a child who’s hanging around with somebody you think isn’t the most desirable friend in terms of their attributes. But perhaps in this friendship your child is the one holding all the cards; everybody is trying to be like your child. If you disrupt that friendship, there’s going to be another in its place, and now you may have put your child in a position where they are the susceptible one. You can make them more vulnerable to negative peer influence than they were before.” (Add on top of that research showing that teens who are alienated from their close friends become more aggressive.)

Even greater benefits of cooperation

A cousin of peer influence is collaboration , and high school students get unique benefits from it. Carefully structured cooperative learning experiences have been tied to students exerting greater effort and using higher-level reasoning strategies more frequently, ultimately boosting achievement and decreasing problematic behaviors, according to the research of Michigan State University’s Cary Roseth. What’s more, “in a study of high school seniors,” he reports, “a predisposition to work with peers cooperatively was found to be highly correlated with psychological health.”

The promise of boosted academic and social-emotional learning doesn’t always have to mean group assignments though. Laursen says by high school “many kids hate these sort of paired activities when a grade is riding on the product.” On the other hand, they appreciate the opportunity to work alongside a peer on their own work. Friends are distributed over classes so the bump students see from working with someone they like and trust may be easier to get in a study hall setting where students undertake, in toddler parlance, “parallel play” or “being with.”

Both logistical benefits and moral support can also be fostered in a high school class with no preexisting friendships. One small Australian study of first-year university students showed that when students discussed class content outside of class, they were more likely to progress to second year. Friends provided feedback, reassurance, and encouragement that “increased students’ emotional engagement, their enthusiasm and interest in the course content and in the classroom.” The study’s authors ultimately encouraged teachers to instruct students to talk to each other during breaks, exchange contact information, and consider arranging study sessions.

During distance learning this fall, Mira Debs, executive director of Yale’s education studies program, had students write introductions. She hosted a weekly virtual lunch. One student set up an optional group text message chain for the class. Each of these actions increases a sense of belonging—which in turn boosts motivation —and also provides students with tangible resources. Elizabeth Self , an assistant professor at Vanderbilt University, explains how these college-level findings relate to teens: “If you think about an AP class—high workload, high stress—the way that kids can come together to study, the way they come together to share notes, the way they come together to figure out an assignment …. For those that do, it’s a huge advantage.”

Growing importance of race

“And if you are left out of those groups,” Self continues, “the effect that has for you is not just social but also academic.” She reminds us   that as kids age , they increasingly “ experience the world from a race perspective .” Whether or not they “can be resilient and sustain themselves within systems of oppression in schooling,” she says, “comes down to who their friends are. Do I have a friend that when I feel like a teacher is being racist toward me can affirm that ‘yes, this is happening,’ versus gaslighting me?” Teenagers who have that kind of affirmation “can feel good and whole in the classroom and be successful.” That’s why Beverly Daniel Tatum concludes in Why Are All the Black Kids Sitting Together in the Cafeteria? that as counterintuitive as it may seem, allowing Black students “the psychological safety of their own group” can actually increase the likelihood that they form friendships outside it, benefitting fully from collaborative opportunities.

Technology a nd distance

With schools across the country closed, child development experts worry most about the future of our youngest learners. After all, high school students already had mechanisms in place for connecting at a distance, practices like exchanging Snapchat videos about the parts of the homework that don’t make sense. 

But Denworth says we can’t discount “Zoom fatigue.” In a recent article for Psychology Today , she describes a book called Relating Through Technology by Jeffrey Hall, a professor of communication studies at the University of Kansas. He told Denworth, “Compared to face to face, texting and using social media, energy use during a Zoom call is higher.” Disruptions like your own image, delays, and cross-talk make video calls more intense. They also heighten loneliness: “Zoom is exhausting and lonely because you have to be so much more attentive and so much more aware of what’s going on than you do on phone calls.”

And even though teens can socialize virtually, Brown says, “the intensity of seeing close friends and romantic partners in person is difficult to give up, so the lack of those face-to-face opportunities is going to create anxiety.” Their developmentally appropriate craving for intimacy is what drives “the way that individuals 18 to 25 are behaving right now,” he says, “having real difficulty engaging in social distancing, wearing a face covering, and staying feet apart.” 

While distance learning may work best for teenagers , everything we know about friendship in late adolescence suggests they too would benefit from in-person learning experiences at the earliest safe opportunity.

This article is part of the “ Friendship in Schools ” series, which explores the complexities of friendship at various stages of learning.

Gail Cornwall  works as a mother and writer in San Francisco.

Greater Good Science Center • Magazine • In Action • In Education

Why Your Friends Are More Important Than You Think

Researchers and philosophers have explored in great detail the emotional dramas of love and family. But they’ve spent much less time pondering the deep satisfaction of a good friend.

A similar thing happens in our own lives, writes science journalist Lydia Denworth. When something’s gotta give, it’s often our friendships, which take a backseat to our family and work obligations—or our latest fling.

But that’s a mistake, she argues in her new book, Friendship: The Evolution, Biology, and Extraordinary Power of Life’s Fundamental Bond . In fact, research suggests that friendships can help us find purpose and meaning, stay healthy, and live longer. The intimacy, support, equality, and emotional bonds we have in our friendships are unique.

Her book honors the relationships forged through slumber parties, shoulders cried upon, and kindnesses that don’t need to be repaid. “The science of friendship gives you permission to hang out with your friends and call it healthy,” she says. “You’re not being indulgent.” In a conversation with Greater Good , Denworth explains why we need our friends and how to keep those connections strong—even in a pandemic.

Kira Newman: How does friendship change for people across their lifespan?  


Lydia Denworth:  When you’re very young, of course, your primary social relationship is with your parents or caregivers. But when kids go to school, they start to have deeper friendships that involve, first, doing things together, and then a deeper, shared emotional element. Then in adolescence, it becomes even more abstract and relational.

All the way through high school and college, friendships can feel easy because you are thrown into an environment where you have lots of same-age peers and the pool of potential friends is big. Also, when you’re an adolescent, your brain is as attuned to social signals and connection as it will ever be. You are really hyper-interested in social activity.


Then in adulthood, as people start to have jobs and maybe get married or have a family, it can become harder to spend time with your friends. Toward the end of life, we tend to come back around to having a little bit more time once kids are grown and careers and jobs are less demanding.


There are these transition points in life when it’s easier or harder to spend time with friends, but what is important for people to know is that friendship is a lifelong endeavor and that it is something that people should be paying attention to at all points in life. I think that people sometimes think (especially in their 30s and 40s), “I just don’t have time for friends right now,” and that’s a mistake.

If you get to be 65 and then now you’re ready to start paying attention to friends, well, it’s a little bit like stopping smoking when you’re 65. If you go from 15 to 65 and you smoke the whole time, it’s still better to stop than not, but some damage will have been done. And if you don’t pay attention to friends all the way along, the same thing is true. 

KN: You observe in your book that we tend to neglect our friendships when we get busy, more so than other relationships. Can you say more about that?

LD:  The reason we do that is that we feel more beholden to our family that we’re related to, and that makes plenty of sense—we’re legally and biologically connected to our family members. So, I’m not saying that we should be spending a lot less time with family. But we also feel that spending time with friends, instead of working, is indulgent.

My message is that it is not necessarily indulgent because having good, strong friendships is as important for yourself as diet and exercise, and so it’s something you need to prioritize. If you are forever canceling on your friends or failing to make a point of seeing them or talking to them or interacting with them, then you are not being a good friend and you are not maintaining a strong relationship. You need your friends to be there down the road. But you have to do the work along the way, or they won’t be there. Friendship does take some time, but that’s kind of good news because (mostly) hanging out with your friends is fun.

The second half of the story, though, is that it’s quite normal for there to be change in our friendships over the course of a lifetime, and that’s OK. Friendship does need to be a relationship that’s longstanding, but you can cycle through several longstanding friendships in the course of your life. So, it isn’t that you can only stay friends with the people you knew when you were young, of course, because plenty of people do make friends in adulthood and those can become closer friends.

If a relationship is not healthy or even if it’s just not serving you well—if it’s not positive, if it’s really draining, or if it’s lopsided and one of you is always helping the other but not vice versa—that’s not so great. I think people need to realize that it is OK to walk away from friendships that aren’t good ones.  
 KN: That seems like the flipside of all the amazing benefits that we get when we have strong friendships: There’s a lot of potential for pain when we have difficult, conflict-ridden relationships. 


LD:  Just like a strong relationship is good for you, a negative relationship is bad for you. Even an ambivalent relationship is bad for you, it turns out, biologically. 

An ambivalent relationship is a relationship where you have positive feelings and negative feelings about the person or about your interactions with them. And that’s true of a lot of our relationships—almost half. 


Researchers had a scale of one to five: How positive does this relationship make you feel, and how negative does this relationship make you feel? Anybody who was two or above on both things counted as ambivalent, which is really broad. You could be five on the good and two on the bad. What was interesting was that any relationship that was categorized as ambivalent seemed to generate cardiovascular issues and other kinds of health problems. 


It’s not as surprising that a toxic relationship would be bad for your health. But I think that the problem with ambivalent relationships, which a lot of us have many of, is more surprising. I think most people suspect that the good outweighs the bad, and so far (it’s early days in that research) it doesn’t look that way. 

I think that all this is a reminder of the importance of working on relationships—all of them, but including your friendships. There’s real value in a positive friendship.

If it isn’t positive, then you can do a couple of things. One is you can try to make it better, work on it, have a hard conversation, perhaps. Two is you quit and you say, “I’m not going to have this person in my life,” but that can be very dramatic. And three would be that you shuffle that friend to the outer circles of your social life. Maybe it’s not someone you can easily stop seeing, but if you don’t rely on them emotionally anymore, then that’s better for you. 


KN: Are there some practices you would suggest or steps that you take in your own life to put more time and energy into friendship?  


LD:  It really does just begin as simply as paying attention and prioritizing. I try regularly to plan to get together with my close friends and the people I care about seeing a lot. We all have relatively busy lives, but I, first of all, make an effort to make the plan, and then I make an effort to get there—to show up. I think showing up is a really critical piece of friendship, in every sense of the phrase. 


It could just be that you don’t have time to get together with someone for dinner for weeks, so you have a phone call and you catch up that way. Taking time to catch up on somebody’s life and hear what’s going on with them is an important indicator of it’s worth my time to know what’s going on in your life .


In addition, I think it’s useful to remember that science has clarified the definition of a quality relationship. It has to have these minimum three things: It’s a stable, longstanding bond; it’s positive; and it’s cooperative—it’s helpful, reciprocal, I’m there for you, you’re there for me . 


When you’re interacting with your friends, you should be thinking about your side of it. Am I contributing to that? Have I been helpful lately? When was the last time I said something nice or told somebody why I appreciated them or did something nice for someone? Am I a reliable presence in that person’s life? You can think about the way you interact with your friends as needing to fall into those buckets, at a minimum. 

The same thing goes for the online, as well: being positive, being helpful, showing up from a distance, whether that’s just checking in by text or sending a funny joke or forwarding an article or calling—making time. People have been stressed and anxious lately, so we need to be there and provide an ear to listen, a shoulder to cry on, even virtually. 


KN: Right now, people in many places haven’t seen their friends for months. What do we miss out on when we can’t be around our friends in person?  


LD:  There’s a richness to being with your friends in person, and it hits all your senses. So, we’re not getting any of the tactile sense of being with our friends, and there’s a difference when you see them on a screen vs. when you see them in person, although we don’t entirely know in neuroscientific terms what those differences are yet. 


One of the things our brains do automatically when we’re having a conversation with someone in person is this natural sense of “call and response,” that I’m talking, and then you respond, and then you talk and I respond. We are reading each other’s cues in a way that makes it easier to do that.

When you’re online, sometimes not only is there a little bit of an artificialness to the interaction but there’s literally a lag that’s built in from the technology, and that is quite off-putting for our brains. Our brains recognize that as a different kind of interaction, and they don’t like it very much. I think that’s one reason why some people are being driven crazy by Zoom. And if you have a group on Zoom, it’s very hard figuring out who’s going to speak next. There’s a way that we handle that with nonverbal cues in person that is harder to pull off virtually. 


When you’re in person, you can have a much more natural conversation. There’s an ease and a warmth and a naturalness that we get when we’re with our friends, and I think we really are missing the ability to hug them and high five—that’s big stuff that matters a lot. So, it’s a loss. 

That said, people are reporting a lot of positive experiences, even remotely. We’re being forced to interact virtually, but we’re getting a lot of benefits out of it. It’s not the same, but it’s a whole lot better than nothing. Limited though it is, technology has been a lifesaver in this moment. I can’t imagine what this would have been like if we didn’t have it. 


KN: What do you most hope people will take away from the book?  

LD:  That they will make friendship a priority, that they will call a friend and work harder on thinking about the importance of being a good friend, that parents will think about talking to kids about the importance of friendship and modeling being a good friend and prioritizing it. Parents are full of messages about achievement, and not as many messages about what it means to be a good friend, but I think it’s one of the most important skills that a child can develop. Through all our lives, the importance of friendship has been hiding in plain sight.

About the Author

Kira M. Newman

Kira M. Newman is the managing editor of Greater Good . Her work has been published in outlets including the Washington Post , Mindful magazine, Social Media Monthly , and Tech.co, and she is the co-editor of The Gratitude Project . Follow her on Twitter!

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Some Friends, Indeed, Do More Harm Than Good

By Mary Duenwald

• Sept. 10, 2002

Friends are supposed to be good for you. In recent years, scientific research has suggested that people who have strong friendships experience less stress, they recover more quickly from heart attacks and they are likely to live longer than the friendless. They are even less susceptible to the common cold, studies show.

But not all friends have such a salutary effect. Some lie, insult and betray. Some are overly needy. Some give too much advice. Psychologists and sociologists are now calling attention to the negative health effects of bad friends.

''Friendship is often very painful,'' said Dr. Harriet Lerner, a psychologist and the author of ''The Dance of Connection.'' ''In a close, enduring friendship, jealousy, envy, anger and the entire range of difficult emotions will rear their heads. One has to decide whether the best thing is to consider it a phase in a long friendship or say this is bad for my health and I'm disbanding it.''

Another book, ''When Friendship Hurts,'' by Dr. Jan Yager, a sociologist at the University of Connecticut at Stamford, advises deliberately leaving bad friends by the wayside. ''There's this myth that friendships should last a lifetime,'' Dr. Yager said. ''But sometimes it's better that they end.''

That social scientists would wait until now to spotlight the dangers of bad friends is understandable, considering that they have only recently paid close attention to friendship at all. Marriage and family relationships -- between siblings or parents and children -- have been seen as more important.

Of course, troubled friendships are far less likely to lead to depression or suicide than troubled marriages are. And children are seldom seriously affected when friendships go bad.

As a popular author of relationship advice books, Dr. Lerner said, ''Never once have I had anyone write and say my best friend hits me.''

Dr. Beverley Fehr, a professor of psychology at the University of Winnipeg, noted that sociological changes, like a 50 percent divorce rate, have added weight to the role of friends in emotional and physical health.

''Now that a marital relationship can't be counted on for stability the way it was in the past, and because people are less likely to be living with or near extended family members, people are shifting their focus to friendships as a way of building community and finding intimacy,'' said Dr. Fehr, the author of ''Friendship Processes.''

Until the past couple of years, the research on friendship focused on its health benefits. ''Now we're starting to look at it as a more full relationship,'' said Dr. Suzanna Rose, a professor of psychology at Florida International University in Miami. ''Like marriage, friendship also has negative characteristics.''

The research is in its infancy. Psychologists have not yet measured the ill effects of bad friendship, Dr. Fehr said. So far they have only, through surveys and interviews, figured out that it is a significant problem. The early research, Dr. Fehr added, is showing that betrayal by a friend can be more devastating than experts had thought.

How can a friend be bad? Most obviously, Dr. Rose said, by drawing a person into criminal or otherwise ill-advised pursuit. ''When you think of people who were friends at Enron,'' she added, ''you can see how friendship can support antisocial behavior.''

Betrayal also makes for a bad friendship. ''When friends split up,'' said Dr. Keith E. Davis, a professor of psychology at the University of South Carolina, ''it is often in cases where one has shared personal information or secrets that the other one wanted to be kept confidential.''

Another form of betrayal, Dr. Yager said, is when a friend suddenly turns cold, without ever explaining why. ''It's more than just pulling away,'' she said. ''The silent treatment is actually malicious.''

At least as devastating is an affair with the friend's romantic partner, as recently happened to one of Dr. Lerner's patients. ''I would not encourage her to hang in there and work this one out,'' Dr. Lerner said.

A third type of bad friendship involves someone who insults the other person, Dr. Yager said. One of the 180 people who responded to Dr. Yager's most recent survey on friendship described how, when she was 11, her best friend called her ''a derogatory name.'' The woman, now 32, was so devastated that she feels she has been unable to be fully open with people ever since, Dr. Yager said.

Emotional abuse may be less noticeable than verbal abuse, but it is ''more insidious,'' Dr. Yager said. ''Some people constantly set up their friends,'' she explained. ''They'll have a party, not invite the friend, but make sure he or she finds out.''

Risk takers, betrayers and abusers are the most extreme kinds of bad friends, Dr. Yager said, but they are not the only ones. She identifies 21 different varieties. Occupying the second tier of badness are the liar, the person who is overly dependent, the friend who never listens, the person who meddles too much in a friend's life, the competitor and the loner, who prefers not to spend time with friends.

Most common is the promise breaker. ''This includes everyone from the person who says let's have a cup of coffee but something always comes up at the last minute to someone who promises to be there for you when you need them, but then isn't,'' Dr. Yager said.

Some friendships go bad, as some romantic relationships do, when one of the people gradually or suddenly finds reasons to dislike the other one.

''With couples, it can take 18 to 24 months for someone to discover there's something important they don't like about the other person,'' said Dr. Rose of Florida International. ''One might find, for example, that in subtle ways the other person is a racist. In friendships, which are less intense, it may take even more time for one person to meet the other's dislike criteria.''

Whether a friendship is worth saving, Dr. Lerner said, ''depends on how large the injury is.''

''Sometimes the mature thing is to lighten up and let something go,'' she added. ''It's also an act of maturity sometimes to accept another person's limitations.''

Acceptance should come easier among friends than among spouses, Dr. Lerner said, because people have more than one friend and do not need a full range of emotional support from each one.

But if the friendship has deteriorated to the point where one friend truly dislikes the other one or finds that the friendship is causing undue stress, the healthy response is to pull away, Dr. Yager said, to stop sharing the personal or intimate details of life, and start being too busy to get together, ever.

''It takes two people to start and maintain a friendship, but only one to end it,'' Dr. Yager said.

Friendship, because it is voluntary and unregulated, is far easier to dissolve than marriage. But it is also comparatively fragile, experts say. Ideally, the loss of a bad friendship should leave a person with more time and appreciation for good ones, Dr. Lerner said.

''It is wise to pay attention to your friendships and have them in order while you're healthy and your life and work are going well,'' she said. ''Because when a crisis hits, when someone you love dies, or you lose your job and your health insurance, when the universe gives you a crash course in vulnerability, you will discover how crucial and life-preserving good friendship is.''

A Guide to Building and Nurturing Friendships

Friendships are an essential ingredient in a happy life. here’s how to give them the care and attention they deserve..

How does one make meaningful friendships as an adult? Here are some suggestions ,  useful tools  and tips from an expert .

If you are an introvert, it can be hard to reconcile the need for close connections with the urge to cancel social plans. Here is how to find your comfort zone .

A friendship with a sibling can be a lifelong gift. Whether you’ve always been close, or wish you got along better, here’s how to bolster your connection .

All relationships require some work. For your friendships to thrive , focus on your listening skills, compassion and communication. And make sure to spend time together .

American men are in a “friendship recession,” but experts say a few simple strategies can help. One tip? Practice being more vulnerable with your pals .

It’s quite common for people to feel jealousy or envy toward their friends. Luckily, there are ways to turn those emotions into an opportunity  for growth.

Being a good friend means offering your support in times of need. Just remember: Sometimes less is better than more .

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How to Stay Away from Friends Who Are Bad Influences

Last Updated: February 18, 2024 Approved

This article was co-authored by Katie Styzek . Katie Styzek is a Professional School Counselor for Chicago Public Schools. Katie earned a BS in Elementary Education with a Concentration in Mathematics from the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign. She served as a middle school mathematics, science, and social studies teacher for three years prior to becoming a counselor. She holds a Master of Education (M.Ed.) in School Counseling from DePaul University and an MA in Educational Leadership from Northeastern Illinois University. Katie holds an Illinois School Counselor Endorsement License (Type 73 Service Personnel), an Illinois Principal License (formerly Type 75), and an Illinois Elementary Education Teaching License (Type 03, K – 9). She is also Nationally Board Certified in School Counseling from the National Board for Professional Teaching Standards. There are 10 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page. wikiHow marks an article as reader-approved once it receives enough positive feedback. In this case, 100% of readers who voted found the article helpful, earning it our reader-approved status. This article has been viewed 198,956 times.

It can be difficult to stay away from friends who are a bad influence on you. Take time to notice which friends pressure you, are disrespectful, or try to manipulate you. These friends who are a bad influence are likely stressing you out and not treating you like a true friend should. If you can get help from others, set healthy boundaries, and make priorities for good friendships, you’ll be better able to manage or stay away from friends who try to influence you. Just remember your values and needs, and that sometimes bad friendships have to end.

Recognizing Bad Friendships

• Boss you around
• Are disrespectful or mean to others
• Are destructive of property or violent
• Try to manipulate you
• Make you feel bad about your eating habits or body
• Belittle your ideas or opinions

• Stressed out
• Unsupported
• Guilty for things you’ve done with the friend

• Depending on what your friend has been doing, your parents may want to talk to their parents. They may also want you to spend less time with those friends or spend time with them in safer ways, like at home. [5] X Research source

• You can say, “I know you’re a good person and I know you’ve been having a hard time since your parents divorced. But I don’t want to be around your smoking and drinking at school. I feel unsafe when you do that and I’m worried about you.”

• Limit the time you spend with that friend
• Express your feelings and needs honestly
• Leave situations where your friend offends you or puts you in danger
• Don’t force them to change, that’s up to them

• You can say, “I really care about you, but our friendship isn’t working for me. It doesn’t seem our interests are the same and I don’t feel good about myself in this friendship.”

wikiHow Quiz: Is My Friend Toxic?

How often does your friend flake on plans.

Constantly! They almost always cancel at the last minute.

Frequently. I might as well flip a coin to see if they show up.

Occasionally. They usually have a good excuse, though.

Never. If they give me their word, I know they’ll be there.

Moving on From Bad Friendships

• Defriend or unfollow them on social media
• Avoid talking about them with your mutual friends
• Avoid answering any texts or phone calls from them
• Avoid sitting next to them in class or at other events

• Cry and let yourself be sad
• Write a goodbye letter, but keep it for yourself

• Build you up
• Genuinely care about how you are
• Don’t focus only on themselves

• It might be uncomfortable or scary at first, just like asking someone out on a date. You can say, “Hi, I noticed your t-shirt. Do you like that band, too? I heard they’re coming out with a new album this weekend. Do you want to go check it out at the record store with me sometime?”

Helping Your Kids with Bad Friendships

• Seek out positives. You can ask, “What do you like about your friend?” or “What do you get from this friendship?”
• Let them know they have choices. You can say, “You don’t have to spend time with those friends. You don’t have to be treated this way.”

• You can say, “I’m sure your friend is a good person, and I don’t know everything they’re going through, but I don’t like that your friend stole beer from our refrigerator. I don’t want you to think it’s okay to do that, here or at someone else’s home. He isn’t allowed to come back over until he apologizes to me.” [16] X Research source

• If you have a child 12 or under, you can plan visits to relatives, schedule doctors’ appointments, or schedule time with other friends instead of allowing them time with bad influences. When they do spend time with the bad friend, make sure it’s at your house or that you’re nearby and can listen in on interactions. [17] X Research source
• If you have a teenager, you can limit the nights they’re allowed to go out and make sure you know what their plans are when they do go out. Let them know their activities with friends have to be approved by you first, and enforce consequences if you find out they did something other than what they first told you. [18] X Research source

Expert Q&A

You Might Also Like

• ↑ http://kidshealth.org/en/kids/peer-pressure.html#
• ↑ http://www.cbsnews.com/news/how-to-handle-toxic-friends/
• ↑ Katie Styzek. Professional School Counselor. Expert Interview. 25 November 2020.
• ↑ http://www.cbsnews.com/news/how-to-spot-and-end-a-toxic-friendship/
• ↑ http://www.nytimes.com/2012/01/29/fashion/its-not-me-its-you-how-to-end-a-friendship.html?_r=0
• ↑ http://www.teenvogue.com/story/how-to-deal-with-bad-friends
• ↑ http://www.schoolatoz.nsw.edu.au/wellbeing/behaviour/when-your-teens-new-best-friend-is-a-bad-influence
• ↑ http://articles.latimes.com/2011/apr/11/health/la-he-the-md-teens-friends-20110411
• ↑ https://www.empoweringparents.com/article/does-your-child-have-toxic-friends-6-ways-to-deal-with-the-wrong-crowd/
• ↑ http://www.goodhousekeeping.com/life/parenting/tips/a19185/toxic-friendships/

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My parents had it pretty easy with me when I was a teenager. I was a bit of a nerd. I earned straight A’s in school, ran for student government and spent much of my free time watching reruns of “Little House on the Prairie.” And they had little to complain about when it came to my friends — most of them were as straight as I was. My mom and dad considered them a positive influence.

Many parents aren’t nearly this lucky. Their teens run with kids who prefer partying to homework or fistfights to team sports. It’s only natural for these parents to worry about the way their children are being influenced. And it’s only logical for them to wonder: Should I allow my child to spend time with these kids at all?

“It’s a tricky issue,” says Mitch Prinstein, director of clinical psychology at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill and editor of the Journal of Clinical Child and Adolescent Psychology. “It’s a fair and appropriate question for parents to be asking themselves.”

The influence that friends exert over one another as teenagers is clearly powerful and, far too often, undesirable. Unhealthy behaviors can be almost contagious among kids this age. Teens whose friends smoke, drink or use drugs, for example, are more likely to indulge in these behaviors themselves. Aggressive, illegal or self-injurious behaviors also have a tendency to cluster among friend groups, as do concerns about body image and eating.

A study published in February in the Journal of Early Adolescence showed that friendships can also make the difference between good and bad grades at school. Researchers at the University of Oregon surveyed more than 1,200 middle school students and asked them to identify their three best friends. They found that students whose friends were prone to misbehave didn’t do as well in school as kids whose friends were socially active in positive ways, such as participating in sports at school or completing their homework on time.

Even though it’s easy for parents to blame their children’s bad behavior on peers and assume that other kids coerce them into doing things like drinking, smoking, stealing or cheating, poor decision-making among teens isn’t all about pressure . Kids actively want to emulate their peers. During adolescence, they are looking for ways to separate from their families and begin to define themselves as individuals. To that end, they turn to friends for guidance and direction. They tend to mimic their peers’ behaviors and adopt the same attitudes. Conforming to social norms helps them redefine themselves while earning them acceptance and approval. Fitting in simply feels good.

Parents, discouraged by the changes they see in their children, naturally try to intervene. They may encourage their kids to spend less time with friends they perceive as troublemakers or forbid these friendships entirely. But interfering in a teenager’s life too much, particularly with friendships, can make matters worse. “Meddling with children’s relationships has a high potential for backfiring,” Prinstein says. “It can actually fuel rebellion.”

There are things parents can do, however, to temper the influence that teenagers have on one another. “Helping your child develop a sense of identity and feel secure in that identity is probably the best antidote,” Prinstein says. That’s not easy. Adolescents can no longer be told what to believe or how to behave. They have to be allowed to develop their own sense of what’s important.

Teens require a certain amount of independence. But that doesn’t mean they should have free rein. Adolescents aren’t exactly known for their good decision-making, and parents need to impose some boundaries. When rules are broken and friends are involved, there need to be consequences — reasonable ones. Rather than trying to break up a friendship, parents might want to “ground” a teen’s social life, allowing the child to see friends at home under watchful parental eyes but not to go out with them.

The good news is that adolescence doesn’t last forever. Kids are most susceptible to their peers’ influence during middle school, around the age of 13 or 14. By high school, there’s already a dramatic shift in the way their brains are working, and the sway that other kids hold over them isn’t nearly as strong.

I have two teenage daughters, and both have wonderful friends. The girls they choose to spend time with are hard-working and bright, and I can count on them to make good choices most of the time. It’s my 9-year-old son I worry most about at this point. Though with him, I’m not sure what I’m most afraid of: The influence his friends will have over him or the naughty behavior he’ll model for his pals.

Ulene is a board-certified specialist in preventive medicine in Los Angeles. The M.D. appears once a month.

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Friends’ Influence and Peer Pressure in Adolescents Research Paper

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Adolescence as a Stage of Human Development

Psychological side of adolescence, how does peer pressure work, adolescents and relationships with family and peers, negative and positive sides of peer pressure, two levels of peer pressure, handling peer pressure, reference list.

It is often noticed by teachers and parents that adolescence is a very complex stage of a person’s development that is accompanied by a variety of clashes in all spheres of a young person’s life. As a phase of life, adolescence is complicated by the fact that it is a transitional period between childhood and adulthood (Csikszentmihalyi, 2015). The young people entering this phase are especially frustrated and confused due to a significant change their bodies and minds undergo.

Adolescence is known to be a period of conflict with family members, educators, and peers. One of the most frequently discussed problems of adolescents is pressure from the side of the peers they constantly experience during this period of life. Peer pressure may cause some negative outcomes for its victims. It may result in aggressive or violent behaviors of the teens, wrongdoings of various degrees, immoral choices, and their consequences. Peer pressure can be minimized or addressed by the adult supervisors such as teachers and parents of adolescents, yet this has to be done in the most delicate way possible as the adolescents’ trust towards adults is highly limited and fragile.

According to the definition provided by the World Health Organization (WHO), adolescence is the time between the ages of 10 and 19 that is characterized by rapid growth and development and is associated with multiple changes ( Adolescent Development , 2015). The period of adolescence can be divided into three main stages which are early (11 to 14 years old), middle (15 to 17), and late (18 to 21) ( Stages of Adolescence , 2015). Generally, the transformation children experience during adolescence is of two types – physical and mental.

Physically, the body of a young person quickly matures. The process of maturation includes sexual and physical development – the organs and body parts grow, the processes and secretions start to appear. Since all of these physical changes are new for a young person, mild levels of shock are typical for this period. Namely, it may take teens a while to get used to what is going on to their bodies and accept new feelings.

Apart from the adaptation to the physical changes, the adolescents are to get used to having a new social status since this stage of maturation brings the young people closer to adulthood and responsibilities related to it. Overall, adolescents are expected to gain more independence and privacy since they start to develop new interests and roles.

The list of physical and emotional transformations happening to the young people during adolescence is universal; the processes are the same for all teenagers. At the same time, the age at which adolescence and the developments typical for it start may vary depending on the socio-economic situation. The length and standard characteristics of this period are recognized differently in various cultures.

Generally, the human society has changed its perspective on adolescence many times over the last hundred years (for example, the socially accepted age for marriage and childbirth has changed, economic status of different countries allowed earlier onset of puberty, urbanization, and globalization led to the shift of values and gender roles, sexual revolution caused the development of new perspectives on sexuality).

As a period of rapid transformations and role transitions, adolescence causes a lot of frustration to young people. Moving from childhood to adulthood, teens start to obtain new roles that often create psychological pressure on adolescents. The young people feel like they need to act like grown-ups, yet they still have a set of habitual behaviors they carry from childhood. Feeling lost and confused, the teens tend to start actively looking for their place in the world and in the society around them. Typically, adolescents experience a very strong desire to belong to a particular group or peers. Becoming a member of some community is one of the most important goals of any adolescent individual.

This aspect is especially dangerous because it is associated with peer pressure. The power of peer pressure in the groups of adolescents is extremely influential. Desperate to fit in, teenagers are often ready to do anything that would make them acceptable for their peer group. As a result, peer pressure among adolescents becomes the source of all negative, harmful, and immoral behaviors such as the consumption of drugs and alcohol, early sexual experiences, criminal activities, risky and dangerous experiments ( Peer Influence and Peer Pressure , 2015).

The danger of peer pressure is in the fact that it is very hard to address or impact from the side of adults due to their limited authority. This is why the phenomenon and mechanisms of peer pressure among adolescents are carefully studied to provide teachers and parents with tools helping them to minimize peer pressure and secure the children from a variety of potentially harmful errors.

The power of peer pressure is so strong because it has several sources. Typically, young people may be pressured to do certain things due to such factors as fear of being isolated from the group, or fear of being considered inadequate; besides, many teenagers are pressured by shame and the need to the bond that occurs on the instinctual level ( Teens & Peer Pressure , n. d.). In other words, the motivators forcing the teens to follow a group of peers are rather influential and affect such important values for teenagers as approval, belongingness, bond with peers, and acceptance. The adolescents tend to avoid isolation as the state opposite to being popular at any cost.

It would be pointless to try to convince a teenager to stop being so concerned with what their peers think. For the people of this age, life becomes much easier and more pleasant when they fit in, whereas life in isolation is unbearable since it is associated with not having a place in the world. As a result, doing what everyone is doing is often the main orientation of all adolescents.

Teens are in the process of adjusting to their new bodies and feelings, they may have difficulties controlling impulses. As a result, in situations where they are pressured to react quickly and do not have time to think, teens tend to make mistakes and follow the wrong impulse ( Peer Pressure: Its Influence on Teens and Decision Making , 2008). Often, if they had more time to make up their mind, they would be drawn to the opposite solutions.

While adult society sees a variety of different sides of peer pressure and the beliefs of the youth, adolescents have a much simpler idea of this problem. For them, the issue only has two ways out – the miserable life of an alienated person, or a happy life full of acceptance and belongingness of an individual who is a part of a group. At the same time, young people are not as involved in the analysis of what they are doing and the motivations behind it. In most cases, adolescents may be simply unaware of peer pressure and take the situation for granted.

The higher level of emotional and sexual maturity brings the young people closer with their peers and, at the same time, makes them more vulnerable to the harm and pain the peer groups may cause. The strong need to fit in and become a part of a peer society makes adolescents adjust their behaviors, appearance, speech, and even interests. This change may happen rapidly and drastically. Such a dramatic change in a child is likely to alarm their family. Seeing a teenager dressing, talking, and acting in a completely new way will lead to concerns among parents and other older relatives, who may immediately characterize the change as negative or dangerous for the child.

Yet, it is important to remember privacy and independence are new values in the life of a young person. The most common mistake of the parents is viewing an adolescent as a child. Typically, parents become shocked by the new behaviors of their offspring, especially when a child who they used to know as affectionate and dependent becomes locked up, silent, and hypersensitive about their privacy. It may be hard for the parents to cope with the fact that peers’ opinions and advice become more valuable for adolescents than those of family members (Oswalt, 2015).

In times of crisis, adolescents have the need to turn to each other instead of asking their parents for help. This way, a young person without friends or a group of peers they can rely on starts to feel lonely, left out, and unsupported. Such loneliness and lack of sense of belongingness lead to depressions among teens. The parents’ attempts to break through to them and deliver help forcibly leads to an open confrontation with a young person. As a result, an adolescent may completely shut out their family.

Traditionally, peer pressure is viewed as a negative impact that results in a variety of harmful outcomes. Among them, there are alcohol and substance abuse, drunk driving, risky and dangerous behaviors, crime, violence, and early sexual activities among adolescents. Besides, peer pressure is what makes the central place in the social life of a young person, thus replacing family ( Peer Pressure , n. d.).

Logically, all the risky and harmful activities such as multiple sexual relations, criminal and violent behaviors, substance abuse may result in serious harm to a young person’s health and emotionality (from undesired pregnancies and STDs to imprisonments and chemical dependencies). Peer pressure is studied as a serious impact able to shift the behavior and values of the young people basically turning them upside down and making the adolescents slaves of their peer societies.

Apart from negative outcomes, peer influence can impact the youth in a number of positive ways. For example, peer influence may inspire teens to improve their academic performance or become more creative. Young peers are not always violent and harsh with each other, in many cases, they can be supportive and stimulate one another to pursue development and new interests ( Peer Pressure , 2012). Often, to become a part of a group, teenagers start to go into sports, join bands, or dance crews. This way, peer relationships should not always be associated with dangerous behaviors and harmful habits.

Peer pressure may be divided into two main levels based on its character. The peer pressure of the first level is created by large groups of individuals ( Peer Pressure , n. d.). This kind of pressure is visible to the side observers such as parents and teachers. Some of its main signs are the changes in the behavior patterns of young people, their attitudes towards adults, their dressing style, and taste in music or movies. Typically, this level of pressure is the one that attracts the attention of the adult supervisors and is carefully monitored as a harmful impact. Large groups of teens are often suspected to be involved in various criminal activities or immoral behaviors, they are also deemed dangerous.

The peer pressure of the second level is much less noticeable because it occurs in small groups of close friends (2-4 people) ( Peer Pressure , n. d.). The pressure of this kind may remain unnoticed for years. It is subtle for the eye of a side observer, yet it is often much more powerful than the pressure on the first level created by large groups of teens. The difference between the two types of pressure is in the fact that the peer pressure of the first level is facilitated by generally accepted social behaviors in large groups of young people.

Such norms may be vague or weak since society if inhomogeneous. At the same time, peer pressure on the second level that appears in the groups of close friends is much stronger. In such circumstances, the teens are pressured by the individuals whose opinions matter the most. When an adolescent is emotionally vulnerable with a friend or two, these friends tend to have the most powerful impact. This way, the tendencies and habits of large crowd teen associates themselves with are less influential than the behaviors typical for small groups of friends.

Even though overcoming peer pressure for adolescents is impossible, there are tips for young people to avoid being forced into doing dangerous and immoral things.

First of all, a teen needs to be able to recognize unsafe situations leading to the potential danger to be able to get out of them in time. Secondly, the teens are recommended to learn how to firmly say no to the pressure to do things that do not feel good or right. The moral upbringing of adolescents plays an important role at this stage. To help their children to resist peer pressure, the parents are to nurture their children’s self-esteem and ability to see what is and what is not an appropriate behavior (Guzman, 2007). Thirdly, people who create pressure are to be avoided. It helps if a teen has at least one friend to support them and oppose the pressure together ( Peer Pressure , 2012).

Adults often perceive teenagers as the carriers of homogeneous culture with standards of behavior and other common characteristics, but this point of view is inaccurate (Guzman, 2007). The relationships between adolescent peers are complex and have multiple layers. Peer influence may be both negative and positive. The main challenges of this phenomenon are related to the lack of authority and inability to help from the side of the adults, and to the desire to be accepted by peers from the side of the children. Peer pressure can be powerful, but individuals may resist or avoid it by carefully evaluating the groups and people they are engaged with.

Adolescent Development . (2015). Web.

Csikszentmihalyi, M. (2015). Adolescence . Web.

Guzman, M. R. T. (2007). Friendships, Peer Influence, and Peer Pressure During the Teen Years. Web.

Oswalt, A. (2015). Teens and Peer Relationships . Web.

Peer Influence and Peer Pressure . (2015). Web.

Peer Pressure. (n. d.). Web.

Peer Pressure. (2012). Web.

Peer Pressure: Its Influence on Teens and Decision Making . (2008). Web.

Stages of Adolescence . (2015). Web.

Teens & Peer Pressure . (n. d.). Web.

• Psychology: Adolescence as a Developmental Stage
• The Peculiarities of Adolescence and Puberty
• Psychology of Adolescence Development
• Obedience to Authority in Milgram’s Study
• Psychology: Video Games' Effects on the Human Brain
• Children Mental Illness and Its Effects on Parents
• Milgram’s Research: How and why Milgram’s research on obedience is relevant to our understanding of the conduct of soldiers in times of war
• Misinformation and False Memories in Humans
• Chicago (A-D)
• Chicago (N-B)

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What to Do When You Have Bad Friends

• July 12, 2019
• School & Friends , Teens

Written by Evolve's Behavioral Health Content Team​:

Sometimes, our friends are the best parts of our lives. They give us emotional support, spread cheer, and/or help us become better. Whenever we’re around them, you feel happier and a better version of yourself.

On the other hand, certain friends are simply bad for you. They can be difficult to be around. They might engage in risky or criminal behavior. Your mom doesn’t like them. They’re exclusive, excluding, and toxic. If you’ve seen Mean Girls , the Plastics are a perfect example of the kind of clique we’re talking about.

But what are you supposed to do if these are the types of friends you have?

Spend More Time with Good Friends

First, you can try to increase the time you spend with friends who are good for you.

As Oprah once said: “Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.” Good friends stick with you through thick and thin. They raise you up instead of putting you down. They protect you from harm and care about you. Good friends don’t each other get into dangerous, life-threatening situations.

If you aren’t ready to let go of a bad friend yet, it may be worthwhile simply to try and spend more time with the good friends you already have. Even if you don’t consider yourselves super close, you can always put in the effort to get to know them better.

At the same time, you may want to reconsider how much time you spend with the other kinds of friends—the ones who ditch you when the limo breaks down. Even if these friends are the life of the party, the popular kids at school, or the ones everyone wants to be close with, these kinds of friends can sometimes bring more stress into your life.

The Effect Bad Friends Can Have on You

Toxic friends , negative friends, codependent friends, friends who are a bad influence—they all fall into the same category. Research has shown that relationships that are more conflict-ridden than peaceful lead to an increase in depression and lower self-esteem.

Plus, if you have friends who engage in risky behavior , like drinking, using drugs, or skipping school, research has shown that you’re likely to be pressured to participate too.

In a study titled “If Your Friends Jumped Off of a Bridge, Would You Do It Too? Delinquent Peers and Susceptibility to Peer Influence” (Miller, 2009), the author writes that “association with delinquent peer groups is one of the most salient predictors of delinquent behavior.” She writes that teens who are highly susceptible to peer pressure have an even greater risk of getting into trouble with their friends.

It may be hard to cut off ties with such people, even if you know they’re bad for you. And you may not be ready for that step—at the moment. However, if you see that you’re developing emotional/mental health issues because of these peers, or you’re falling into substance abuse or risky behaviors along with them…you may be better off without these people.

Why is this so?

Certain people can hamper you from moving forward in your life. Even worse, they can cause you harm—both physically and emotionally.

Cutting Ties with Bad Friends

Let’s elaborate with an example from the world of teen mental health treatment. When a teen is ready for discharge from a mental health or drug rehab center, they sit down with their therapist a few days before they leave. After a lengthy discussion of friends who are toxic and friends who are supportive, they go through the teen’s phone together to delete contacts of people who could be detrimental to the teen’s recovery or trigger relapse. They do this because no matter how strong an adolescent is in their recovery, one bad friend can bring them back down to zero. On the other hand, good friends can impact you just as strongly. Research has shown that just adding one sober friend to your network can decrease your chances of relapsing by 25%!

At an adolescent mental health or drug rehab center, teens also learn how to find better friends. In Dialectical Behavior Therapy, there is an entire module devoted to Interpersonal Effectiveness. This skills-set focuses on making and managing healthy friendships (and relationships in general).

For example, DBT teaches you how to stick to your values. You don’t have to sell yourself or your values short, just to fit in with the crowd. If all your friends are doing something you don’t feel comfortable with—whether that’s playing a mean prank on your teacher, bullying a weaker kid at school, or even drugs—you can say no. You don’t have to over-apologize for your behavior or make up excuses/exaggerate. If these are true friends, they will accept you for your values and how you are now. DBT teaches you to maintain your self-respect.

You Don’t Need to Be Popular

There are many benefits of having friends. These include better self-esteem, lower rates of depression and anxiety, improved cognition, more empathy, better ability to cope with stress, stronger emotion regulation, and better mental health overall.

But you don’t have to be a social butterfly, or be friends with everyone at school, to attain these benefits of friendship. In fact, if you only have one or two close friends, you’re good.  In one famous study , researchers followed 169 teens for ten years. They found that teens who had a few close, intense friendships at age 15 or 16 had lower levels of anxiety and depression at age 25 than their peers who tried to be friends with lots of people in their milieu…or, to use the exact wording the researchers used: “simply seeking to become a desirable companion within the peer group at large.”

That’s good news for teens who don’t consider themselves to be popular, or are worried about fitting in with the in-crowd.

Friends Don’t Always Last Forever

There are different types of friends. You can have situational friends, utility friends, childhood friends, acquaintances that are not-yet-friends, etc.

Not all of these friends last forever, nor is it a bad thing if they don’t. At every stage of your life, you may have a different social circle. While you may be feeling lonely in high school because you haven’t found your niche, you may be a social butterfly in college among other peers who understand you better.

Or vice versa.

While friends are important, both socially and for your mental health, the type of friend matters. While a good friend can impact you positively, a bad friend can hurt you.

So choose your friends wisely.

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Home — Essay Samples — Sociology — Friendship — How Good Friends Influence Your Future

How Good Friends Influence Your Future

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Published: Mar 20, 2024

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The influence of good friends on personal development, the role of good friends in academic success, the impact of good friends on mental health and well-being.

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Essay on My Best Friend for Students and Children

500+ words essay on my best friend.

Friendship is one of the greatest blessings that not everyone is lucky enough to have. We meet a lot of people in the journey of life but there are only a few who leave a mark on us. My best friend is one such person who has been able to make a positive impact on my life. We have been a part of each other’s lives for the longest time and our friendship is still developing. She has been with me through all the thicks and thins. Most importantly, I feel extremely fortunate to have someone as a best friend in my life. In this essay on my best friend, I will tell you about how we became friends and about her best qualities.

Our Friendship

Our friendship started when my best friend came in as a new admission to our class. Both of us were hesitant to talk to each other at first, but gradually we developed a bond. I remember the first time my best friend tried to talk to me; I rolled my eyes because I thought there was no use and we wouldn’t hit it off. However, to my surprise, we became best friends by the end of the session year.

We learned so many things about each other and found out that our taste in music and fashion was so similar. Since then, there was no stopping us. We spent all our time together and our friendship became the talk of the class. We used to help each other out in studies and visited each other’s homes as well. We made sure to have lunch together on Sundays. We also used to watch movies and cartoons together.

On our summer break, we even went to summer camp together and made a lot of memories. Once during the summer holidays, she also accompanied me to my maternal grandparents’ home. We had a fabulous time there. Moreover, we even invented our own handshake which only both of us knew. Through this bond, I learned that family doesn’t end with blood because my best friend was no less than my family. Friendship is one relationship that you choose, unlike all other relationships.

Get the huge list of more than 500 Essay Topics and Ideas

Qualities of My Best Friend

I feel one of the main reasons why I formed such a bond with my best friend was because of the qualities she possesses. Her courage always inspired me to raise my voice against injustice as she always stood up to her bullies. She is also one of the smartest minds in class who doesn’t only excel academically but also in life. I have never seen a dancer as good as my best friend, the accolades she has won are proof of her talent.

Above all, I feel the quality that appeals to me the most is her compassion . Whether it’s towards humans or animals, she always keeps the same approach. For instance, there was an injured stray dog that was wailing in pain, my best friend did not only get him treated but she also adopted him.

Similarly, she saw a poor old woman on the streets one day and she only had money for her lunch. My best friend did not hesitate once before giving all of it to the poor lady. That incident made me respect her even more and inspired me to help the underprivileged more often.

Get English Important Questions here

In short, the bond I share with my best friend is one of my most prized possessions. Both of us inspire each other to become better humans. We push each other to do our best and we are always there in need. A best friend is indeed a precious gem and I am fortunate to have found that gem of my life.

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FAQs on Essay on My Best Friend

Q.1 Why is it important to have a best friend?

A.1 It is important for everyone to have a best friend as they are our well-wishers with whom one can share everything. In other words, it gets tough to share things with your parents or siblings, but with a best friend, we never hesitate. Additionally, they always support us and boost our confidence.

Q.2 What are the essential qualities of a best friend?

A.2 A best friend should be understanding. One must be able to share anything with them without the fear of being judged. They should be supportive and encouraging of one another. Subsequently, one must always look out for their best friends in times of need.

Q.3. Should you consider all your friends on various Social media as true friends?

A.3  You may have a number of friends on Social media, but they cannot be considered as true friends. Most of them are mere acquaintances. People with whom you talk only occasionally because they are in the same school, college, colony or workplace, but there is no bond of a true friend are acquaintances. A true friend is a person to whom you would go during your hard time seeking help. However, some acquaintances may become friends as time passes by. Thus, we can say that all friends on Social media are not your true friends.

Q.4. Can you have a negative influence on your life due to friends?

A.4  Friends greatly influence one’s life. It is always said that your company defines your character. Friends with good qualities have a positive influence on your life. They motivate you and guide you. Similarly, friends who have bad qualities can negatively influence your life.

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For students & teachers, how friends influence behavior: friendships and school performance.

EVERFI Content Team

When you think back to your time in school, what do you remember most? Is it the homework and tests, or is it the relationships you built with others? If you’re like most people, it’s the latter. But, how do those friends influence behavior?  Recent studies have concluded that friendships are more important than you might think. In many cases, they’re even among the biggest indicators of success in school. Of course, that could be a problem for the students who don’t make friends easily, which is why they need your help. After all, as teachers, we have a great opportunity to help students improve their peer relationships in school. Here’s why that’s important and how to get started.

The Impact of Peer Relationships

Childhood friendships are more important than you might think. First, they help children develop the social skills they’ll need to succeed in life. Those skills include the following:

• Cooperation
• Problem solving
• Communication

As most adults have learned, those skills are important both at school and in the workforce. Peer relationships can also help children learn to control their emotions and respond to others appropriately. Better grades are also among the perks of friendships, as several studies have shown that socially active students often  have better academic outcomes at school.

How Teachers Can Nurture Friendships Among Students

Now that we know how important peer relationships are in the classroom, it makes sense to spend time encouraging students to make friends. Granted, most of our schedules are stretched to the limit, leaving us little time to focus on encouraging friendships. But luckily, some of the most effective methods are quick, easy, and fit in well with most classroom plans. Here are some examples:

Help Kids Introduce Themselves Early On

The first week of school is the perfect time to plan activities that help kids introduce themselves to their peers. One of the  most popular options involves a worksheet with a different box for each detail. To play the game, students have to find a peer with that detail. For example, if the box says “has a sister,” students mingle with classmates until they find someone who has a sister, and then they can write that person’s name in the box. This can get kids talking early in the year.

Use Small Groups During the School Year

Another way to get students talking is to set up group activities whenever possible. Shy students are more likely to talk in small groups than in larger groups, so you might have some success when you ask them to complete social activities, like  sharing stories based on questions you ask. And of course, just having students work on in-class projects and worksheets in small groups can nudge them to be more social and even make friends

Show Students Their Value

You can also encourage peer relationships by making it clear you enjoy being around your students, showing they have social value. For instance, if you have a student who doesn’t have any friends, you can show the other students that he or she is interesting or kind. You can do this by  talking to and laughing with the student in front of the class, which will not only boost the student’s self esteem but also drive others to try to get to know him or her.

Help Students Show Off Their Strengths

Another way to spotlight a student’s value as a friend is to allow opportunities for him or her to show everyone some unique skills. For example, if you know a student is great at baking, ask him or her to bring in baked goods that complement a lesson plan, such as when you’re teaching the class about a particular country that values certain foods. Or maybe a student knows a lot about weather systems, in which case you can offer extra credit if he or she makes a presentation to the class when you’re teaching about weather.  This tactic is especially helpful with older students whose value as a friend might have been overlooked by others.

Encourage Students to Get Involved

By encouraging students to participate in extracurricular activities, you can play a role in helping them strengthen their relationships with peers.  Joining clubs can help students find others with similar interests, which often leads to more friends. And if you have a few students whose interests are not represented by clubs yet, suggest that they start one. If possible, let them know you can sponsor it, or at least cheer them on as they start planning the new club.

As teachers, we have the influence necessary to not only educate our students but also to help them create and retain friendships that will both influence behavior and benefit them for life. Following these tips can help you make a difference in your classroom when it comes to supporting peer relationships among your students.

Want to prepare students for career and life success, but short on time?

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Addiction and Friendship

The right sort of friends are moral mirrors.

Posted February 14, 2014 | Reviewed by Hara Estroff Marano

Aristotle wrote that no one would want to live without friends. Friendship , for Aristotle, is the most important relationship one person can have with another. The right friends, Aristotle argues, can make us better people because they can help us to improve our moral character by giving us more opportunities to practice virtue. The opposite holds as well; the wrong friends can bring us down. As I wrote in an earlier post, what we do becomes who we are. We do things with our friends to good or bad effect.

If you ask many addicts about their friends when they were using, some common refrains emerge. As their addictions progressed, people cut ties with friends. Long term friends who predated our increasingly heavy use present a threat or challenge to us; they know us and what we used to be like. When we looked into the eyes of people who knew us so well, we often recoiled. We see what we used to be like but we have a heavy investment in convincing ourselves that we are fine/happy/successful now. It is much easier to demonize another, especially when they express concern for us, than it is to allow even a brief glimmer of recognition that they may be right about us.

As addictions further progressed, using became the basis for friendships. As some us recognized, we “drank or used down.” We wanted to drink or use with people who did it more or worse than we did. That way, we would always have others with whom to favorably compare ourselves. We could convince ourselves that our use wasn’t so bad because of what our friends are doing. But then came the time when we were in the “drinking down” pool for others and provided the favorable comparison for them.

People who are active in their addictions are not capable of the best form of friendship. In part this is a consequence of our use being one of the most important things to us. Addicts are selfish in some very real ways. We don’t have the right sort of concern for developing virtue and character. It is harsh to write, but addicts don’t have the right sort of moral character to be the best sort of friend.

The good virtuous person, for Aristotle, loves her character; she loves the sort of person she is but not in some sort of selfish or self-congratulating kind of way. Rather, she loves being generous, trustworthy, and loyal, for example. She loves the character of her friend; she loves the type of person she is. The best kind of friendship for Aristotle requires that a person both have the right sort of love for herself and the right sort of love for friend.

Friends of the right sort provide moral mirrors to each other. No two people are identical in their moral virtues, and we often are drawn to people who have traits we’d like to emulate. They have something that we want. We also can and remain willing to see ourselves in the eyes of the other. When that person raises a concern to us about what we are doing, it carries some weight. It should make us sit up and take notice because we believe that person always has our best interests at heart. This is not to say that our friends are always right about us, but it is to acknowledge that our friends know us in certain ways that cannot be easily dismissed. We don’t cut and run as we did when we were active in our addictions.

It takes time and hard work for these friendships to develop, which is why Aristotle says that we cannot have many of them. Friendship is an activity; it is not a state of mind. More importantly, it is a committed and very intentional activity.

Talking to people who have good sobriety, the common refrain is that their lives are rich with friends who help to make great happiness possible.

Peg O'Connor, Ph.D. , is a professor of philosophy and gender, women, and sexuality studies at Gustavus Adolphus College in St. Peter, Minnesota.

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Donald Trump found guilty in historic New York hush money case

A New York jury on Thursday found Donald Trump guilty on all 34 felony counts of falsifying business records — the first time a former U.S. president has been convicted of a crime.

The jury reached its verdict in the historic case after 9½ hours of deliberations, which began Wednesday. 

He'll be sentenced on July 11, four days before the Republican National Convention. He faces penalties from a fine to four years in prison on each count, although it's expected he would be sentenced for the offenses concurrently, not consecutively.

Follow live updates here.

"This was a disgrace. This was a rigged trial by a conflicted judge who was corrupt,” Trump fumed to reporters afterward.

The verdict was read in the Manhattan courtroom where Trump has been on trial since April 15. He had pleaded not guilty to 34 counts of falsifying business records related to a hush money payment his former lawyer Michael Cohen made to adult film star Stormy Daniels in the final weeks of the 2016 presidential election.

Trump looked down with his eyes narrowed as the jury foreperson read the word "guilty" to each count.

The judge thanked the jurors for their service in the weekslong trial. “You gave this matter the attention it deserved, and I want to thank you for that,” Judge Juan Merchan told them. Trump appeared to be scowling at the jurors as they walked by him on their way out of the courtroom.

Trump's attorney Todd Blanche made a motion for acquittal after the jury left the room, which the judge denied.

Manhattan District Attorney Alvin Bragg would not comment on what type of sentence he might seek, saying his office would do its talking in court papers.

"While this defendant may be unlike any other in American history, we arrived at this trial and ultimately today at this verdict in the same manner as every other case that comes to the courtroom doors — by following the facts and the law in doing so, without fear or favor," Bragg said. Asked for his reaction to the verdict, Bragg, who was inundated with threats from Trump supporters during the probe, said, "I did my job. We did our job."

Trump, the presumptive Republican nominee for president, immediately set out fundraising off the news, posting on his website that he's "a political prisoner" and urging his followers to give money.

Legal experts have told NBC News that even if Trump is sentenced to time behind bars, he'd most likely be allowed to remain out of jail while he appeals the verdict, a process that could take months or more. That means the sentence would most likely not interfere with his ability to accept the Republican nomination for president at the July convention.

And it likely wouldn't impact his ability to be elected. "There are no other qualifications other than those in the Constitution,” Chuck Rosenberg, a former U.S. attorney and NBC News & MSNBC Legal Analyst said following Thursday’s verdict.

President Joe Biden's campaign praised the verdict in a statement but stressed that Trump needs to be defeated in November.

“In New York today, we saw that no one is above the law," said the campaign's communications director, Michael Tyler, but the "verdict does not change the fact that the American people face a simple reality. There is still only one way to keep Donald Trump out of the Oval Office: at the ballot box."

In his closing argument this week, prosecutor Joshua Steinglass told the jury that “the law is the law, and it applies to everyone equally. There is no special standard for this defendant.”

“You, the jury, have the ability to hold the defendant accountable,” Steinglass said.

Trump had maintained that the DA’s office had no case and that there had been no crime. “President Trump is innocent. He did not commit any crimes,” Blanche said in his closing statement, arguing the payments to Cohen were legitimate.

Prosecutors said the disguised payment to Cohen was part of a “planned, coordinated long-running conspiracy to influence the 2016 election, to help Donald Trump get elected through illegal expenditures, to silence people who had something bad to say about his behavior, using doctored corporate records and bank forms to conceal those payments along the way.”

“It was election fraud. Pure and simple,” prosecutor Matthew Colangelo said in his opening statement.

While Trump wasn’t charged with conspiracy, prosecutors argued he caused the records to be falsified because he was trying to cover up a violation of state election law — and falsifying business records with the intent to cover another crime raises the offense from a misdemeanor to a felony. 

Trump was convicted after a sensational weekslong trial that included combative testimony from Cohen, Trump’s self-described former fixer, and Daniels, who testified that she had a sexual encounter with Trump in 2006 after she met him at a celebrity golf tournament. Trump has denied her claim, and his attorney had suggested that Cohen acted on his own because he thought it would make “the boss” happy.

Other witnesses included former White House staffers, among them adviser Hope Hicks, former Trump Organization executives and former National Enquirer publisher David Pecker.  

Trump didn’t take the witness stand to offer his own account of what happened, even though he proclaimed before the trial began that he would “absolutely” testify. The defense’s main witness was Robert Costello, a lawyer whom Cohen considered retaining in 2018. Costello, who testified that Cohen had told him Trump had nothing to do with the Daniels’ payment, enraged Merchan by making disrespectful comments and faces on the stand. At one point, the judge cleared the courtroom during Costello’s testimony and threatened to hold him in contempt. 

Cohen testified that he lied to Costello because he didn’t trust him and that he’d lied to others about Trump’s involvement at the time because he wanted to protect his former boss.

Cohen was the lone witness to testify to Trump’s direct involvement in the $130,000 payment and the subsequent reimbursement plan. Blanche spent days challenging his credibility, getting Cohen to acknowledge he has a history of lying, including under oath.

Cohen said he was paid the Daniels cash in a series of payments from Trump throughout 2017 that the Trump Organization characterized as payments pursuant to a retainer agreement “for legal services rendered.”

Prosecutors said there was no such agreement, and Cohen’s version of events was supported by documentary evidence and witness testimony. 

Blanche contended that the series of checks then-President Trump paid Cohen in 2017 “was not a payback to Mr. Cohen for the money that he gave to Ms. Daniels” and that he was being paid for his legal work as Trump’s personal lawyer.

Testimony from Jeff McConney, a former senior vice president at Trump’s company, challenged that position. McConney said the company’s chief financial officer, Allen Weisselberg, told him that Cohen was being reimbursed for a $130,000 payment, and prosecutors entered Weisselberg’s handwritten notes about the payment formula as evidence. Cohen said Trump agreed to the arrangement in a meeting with him and Weisselberg just days before he was inaugurated as the 45th president.

Weisselberg didn't testify. He’s in jail on a perjury charge related to his testimony in New York Attorney General Letitia James’ civil fraud case against Trump and his company. Cohen, McConney and other witnesses said Weisselberg, who spent decades working for Trump, always sought his approval for large expenditures. 

In all, the prosecution called 20 witnesses, while the defense called two.

Trump had frequently claimed, falsely, that the charges against him were a political concoction orchestrated by Biden to keep him off the campaign trail. But Trump eventually managed to bring the campaign to the courtroom, hosting top Republicans, including House Speaker Mike Johnson of Louisiana and Sens. JD Vance of Ohio and Rick Scott of Florida, as his guests in court. Trump also used court breaks to tout political messages to his supporters, while his surrogates sidestepped Merchan’s gag order by attacking witnesses, individual prosecutors and Merchan’s daughter.

Merchan fined Trump $10,000 during the trial for violating his order, including attacks on Cohen and Daniels, and warned he could have him locked up if he continued violating the order.

Cohen celebrated the verdict in a post on X. "Today is an important day for accountability and the rule of law. While it has been a difficult journey for me and my family, the truth always matters," Cohen wrote.

Trump was indicted in March of last year after a yearslong investigation by Bragg and his predecessor, Cyrus Vance. The charges were the first ever brought against a former president, although Trump has since been charged and pleaded not guilty in three other cases. None of the three — a federal election interference case in Washington, D.C., a state election interference case in Georgia and a federal case alleging he mishandled classified documents and national security information — appear likely to go to trial before the Nov. 5 presidential election.

Adam Reiss is a reporter and producer for NBC and MSNBC.

Gary Grumbach produces and reports for NBC News, based in Washington, D.C.

Dareh Gregorian is a politics reporter for NBC News.

Tom Winter is a New York-based correspondent covering crime, courts, terrorism and financial fraud on the East Coast for the NBC News Investigative Unit.

Jillian Frankel is a 2024 NBC News campaign embed.