upenn common app essays that worked

25 Elite Common App Essay Examples (And Why They Worked)

Applying to competitive colleges? You'll need to have a stand-out Common App essay.

In this article, I'm going to share with you:

• 25 outstanding Common App essay examples
• Links to tons of personal statement examples
• Why these Common App essays worked

If you're looking for outstanding Common App essay examples, you've found the right place.

If you're applying to colleges in 2024, you're going to write some form of a Common App essay.

Writing a great Common App personal essay is key if you want to maximize your chances of getting admitted.

Whether you're a student working on your Common App essay, or a parent wondering what it takes, this article will help you master the Common App Essay.

What are the Common App Essay Prompts for 2024?

There are seven prompts for the Common App essay. Remember that the prompts are simply to help get you started thinking.

You don't have to answer any of the prompts if you don't want (see prompt #7 ).

Here's the seven Common App essay questions for 2022, which are the same as previous years:

• Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.
• The lessons we take from obstacles we encounter can be fundamental to later success. Recount a time when you faced a challenge, setback, or failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience?
• Reflect on a time when you questioned or challenged a belief or idea. What prompted your thinking? What was the outcome?
• Reflect on something that someone has done for you that has made you happy or thankful in a surprising way. How has this gratitude affected or motivated you?
• Discuss an accomplishment, event, or realization that sparked a period of personal growth and a new understanding of yourself or others.
• Describe a topic, idea, or concept you find so engaging that it makes you lose all track of time. Why does it captivate you? What or who do you turn to when you want to learn more?
• Share an essay on any topic of your choice. It can be one you've already written, one that responds to a different prompt, or one of your own design.

The last prompt is a catch-all prompt, which means you can submit an essay on any topic you want.

Use the Common App prompts as brainstorming questions and to get you thinking.

But ultimately, you should write about any topic you meaningfully care about.

What makes an outstanding Common App personal essay?

I've read thousands of Common App essays from highly motivated students over the past years.

And if I had to choose the top 2 things that makes for incredible Common App essays it's these:

1. Being Genuine

Sounds simple enough. But it's something that is incredibly rare in admissions.

Authenticity is something we all know when we see it, but can be hard to define.

Instead of focus on what you think sounds the best to admissions officers, focus on what you have to say—what interests you.

2. Having Unique Ideas

The best ideas come about while you're writing.

You can't just sit down and say, "I'll think really hard of good essay ideas."

I wish that worked, but it sadly doesn't. And neither do most brainstorming questions.

The ideas you come up with from these surface-level tactics are cheap, because no effort was put in.

As they say,

"Writing is thinking"

By choosing a general topic (e.g. my leadership experience in choir) and writing on it, you'll naturally come to ideas.

As you write, continue asking yourself questions that make you reflect.

It is more of an artistic process than technical one, so you'll have to feel what ideas are most interesting.

25 Common App Essay Examples from Top Schools

With that, here's 25 examples as Common App essay inspiration to get you started.

These examples aren't perfect—nor should you expect yours to be—but they are stand-out essays.

I've handpicked these examples of personal statements from admitted students because they showcase a variety of topics and writing levels.

These students got into top schools and Ivy League colleges in recent years:

Table of Contents

• 1. Seeds of Immigration
• 2. Color Guard
• 3. Big Eater
• 4. Love for Medicine
• 5. Cultural Confusion
• 6. Football Manager
• 9. Mountaineering
• 10. Boarding School
• 11. My Father
• 12. DMV Trials
• 13. Ice Cream Fridays
• 14. Key to Happiness
• 15. Discovering Passion
• 16. Girl Things
• 17. Robotics
• 18. Lab Research
• 19. Carioca Dance
• 20. Chinese Language
• 21. Kiki's Delivery Service
• 22. Museum of Life
• 23. French Horn
• 24. Dear My Younger Self
• 25. Monopoly

Common App Essay Example #1: Seeds of Immigration

This student was admitted to Dartmouth College . In this Common App essay, they discuss their immigrant family background that motivates them.

Although family is a commonly used topic, this student makes sure to have unique ideas and write in a genuine way.

Common App Prompt #1: Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story. (250-650 words)

I placed three tiny seeds, imagining the corn stalk growing while the pumpkin vines wrapped around it; both sprouting, trying to bear fruit. I clenched a fistful of dirt and placed it on them. “Más,” my grandpa told me as he quickly flooded the seeds with life-giving dirt.

Covered. Completely trapped.

Why This Essay Works:

Everyone has a unique family history and story, and often that can make for a strong central theme of a personal statement. In this essay, the student does a great job of sharing aspects of his family's culture by using specific Spanish words like "yunta" and by describing their unique immigration story. Regardless of your background, sharing your culture and what it means to you can be a powerful tool for reflection.

This student focuses on reflecting on what their culture and immigrant background means to them. By focusing on what something represents, rather than just what it literally is, you can connect to more interesting ideas. This essay uses the metaphor of their family's history as farmers to connect to their own motivation for succeeding in life.

This essay has an overall tone of immense gratitude, by recognizing the hard work that this student's family has put in to afford them certain opportunities. By recognizing the efforts of others in your life—especially efforts which benefit you—you can create a powerful sense of gratitude. Showing gratitude is effective because it implies that you'll take full advantage of future opportunities (such as college) and not take them for granted. This student also demonstrates a mature worldview, by recognizing the difficulty in their family's past and how things easily could have turned out differently for this student.

This essay uses three moments of short, one-sentence long paragraphs. These moments create emphasis and are more impactful because they standalone. In general, paragraph breaks are your friend and you should use them liberally because they help keep the reader engaged. Long, dense paragraphs are easy to gloss over and ideas can lose focus within them. By using a variety of shorter and longer paragraphs (as well as shorter and longer sentences) you can create moments of emphasis and a more interesting structure.

What They Might Improve:

This conclusion is somewhat off-putting because it focuses on "other students" rather than the author themself. By saying it "fills me with pride" for having achieved without the same advantages, it could create the tone of "I'm better than those other students" which is distasteful. In general, avoid putting down others (unless they egregiously deserve it) and even subtle phrasings that imply you're better than others could create a negative tone. Always approach your writing with an attitude of optimism, understanding, and err on the side of positivity.

Common App Essay Example #2: Color Guard

This student was admitted to the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill . Check out their Common App essay that focuses on an extracurricular:

Sweaty from the hot lights, the feeling of nervousness and excitement return as I take my place on the 30-yard line. For 10 short minutes, everyone is watching me. The first note of the opening song begins, and I’m off. Spinning flags, tossing rifles, and dancing across the football field. Being one of only two people on the colorguard means everyone will see everything. It’s amazing and terrifying. And just like that, the performance is over.

Flashback to almost four years ago, when I walked into the guard room for the first time. I saw flyers for a “dance/flag team” hanging in the bland school hallway, and because I am a dancer, I decided to go. This was not a dance team at all. Spinning flags and being part of the marching band did not sound like how I wanted to spend my free time. After the first day, I considered not going back. But, for some unknown reason, I stayed. And after that, I began to fall in love with color guard. It is such an unknown activity, and maybe that’s part of what captivated me. How could people not know about something so amazing? I learned everything about flags and dancing in that year. And something interesting happened- I noticed my confidence begin to grow. I had never thought I was that good at anything, there was always someone better. However, color guard was something I truly loved, and I was good at it.

The next year, I was thrown into an interesting position. Our current captain quit in the middle of the season, and I was named the new captain of a team of six. At first, this was quite a daunting task. I was only a sophomore, and I was supposed to lead people two years older than me? Someone must’ve really believed in me. Being captain sounded impossible to me at first, but I wouldn’t let that stop me from doing my best. This is where my confidence really shot up. I learned how to be a captain. Of course I was timid at first, but slowly, I began to become a true leader.

The next marching season, it paid off. I choreographed many pieces of our show, and helped teach the other part of my guard, which at the time was only one other person. Having a small guard, we had to be spectacular, especially for band competitions. We ended up winning first place and second place trophies, something that had never been done before at our school, especially for such a small guard. That season is still one of my favorite memories. The grueling hours of learning routines, making changes, and learning how to be a leader finally paid off.

Looking back on it as I exit the field after halftime once again, I am so proud of myself. Not only has color guard helped the band succeed, I’ve also grown. I am now confident in what my skills are. Of course there is always more to be done, but I now I have the confidence to share my ideas, which is something I can’t say I had before color guard. Every Friday night we perform, I think about the growth I’ve made, and I feel on top of the world. That feeling never gets old.

Common App Essay Example #3: Big Eater

This Common App essay is a successful Northwestern essay from an admitted student. It has a unique take using the topic of eating habits—an example of how "mundane" topics can make for interesting ideas.

This essay uses their relationship with food to explore how their perspective has changed through moving high schools far away. Having a central theme is often a good strategy because it allows you to explore ideas while making them feel connected and cohesive. This essay shows how even a "simple" topic like food can show a lot about your character because you can extrapolate what it represents, rather than just what it literally is. With every topic, you can analyze on two levels: what it literally is, and what it represents.

Admissions officers want to get a sense of who you are, and one way to convey that is by using natural-sounding language and being somewhat informal. In this essay, the student writes as they'd speak, which creates a "voice" that you as the reader can easily hear. Phrases like "I kind of got used to it" may be informal, but work to show a sense of character. Referring to their parents as "Ma" and "Papa" also bring the reader into their world. If you come from a non-English speaking country or household, it can also be beneficial to use words from your language, such as "chiemo" in this essay. Using foreign language words helps share your unique culture with admissions.

Rather than "telling" the reader what they have to say, this student does a great job of "showing" them through specific imagery and anecdotes. Using short but descriptive phrases like "whether it was a sum or Sam the bully" are able to capture bigger ideas in a more memorable way. Showing your points through anecdotes and examples is always more effective than simply telling them, because showing allows the reader to come to their own conclusion, rather than having to believe what you're saying.

This student's first language is not English, which does make it challenging to express ideas with the best clarity. Although this student does an overall great job in writing despite this hindrance, there are moments where their ideas are not easily understood. In particular, when discussing substance addiction, it isn't clear: Was the student's relationship with food a disorder, or was that a metaphor? When drafting your essay, focus first on expressing your points as clearly and plainly as possible (it's harder than you may think). Simplicity is often better, but if you'd like, afterwards you can add creative details and stylistic changes.

Learn the Secrets of Successful Top-20 Applications

Join 4,000+ students and parents that already receive our 5-minute free newsletter , packed with T-20 essay examples, writing tips & tricks, and step-by-step guides.

Common App Essay Example #4: Love for Medicine

Here's another Common App essay which is an accepted Dartmouth essay . This student talks about their range of experiences as an emergency medical responder:

I never knew I had the courage to talk a suicidal sixteen-year-old boy down from the edge of a bridge, knowing that he could jump and take his life at any moment.

I never knew I had the confidence to stand my ground and defend my treatment plan to those who saw me as less than capable because of my age or gender.

This essay has lots of detailed moments and descriptions. These anecdotes help back up their main idea by showing, rather than just telling. It's always important to include relevant examples because they are the "proof in the pudding" for what you're trying to say.

This topic deals with a lot of sensitive issues, and at certain points the writing could be interpreted as insensitive or not humble. It's especially important when writing about tragedies that you focus on others, rather than yourself. Don't try to play up your accomplishments or role; let them speak for themselves. By doing so, you'll actually achieve what you're trying to do: create an image of an honorable and inspirational person.

This essay touches on a lot of challenging and difficult moments, but it lacks a deep level of reflection upon those moments. When analyzing your essay, ask yourself: what is the deepest idea in it? In this case, there are some interesting ideas (e.g. "when they were on my stretcher, socioeconomic status...fell away"), but they are not fully developed or fleshed out.

Common App Essay Example #5: Cultural Confusion

This student's Common App was accepted to Pomona College , among other schools. Although this essay uses a common topic of discussing cultural background, this student writes a compelling take.

This student uses the theme of cultural confusion to explain their interests and identity:

Common App Essay Example #6: Football Manager

Here's a UPenn essay that worked for the Common App:

This essay has lighthearted moments in it, such as recognizing how being a football manager "does not sound glamorous" and how "we managers go by many names: watergirls..." Using moments of humor can be appropriate for contrasting with moments of serious reflection. Being lighthearted also shows a sense of personality and that you are able to take things with stride.

The reflections in this essay are far too generic overall and ultimately lack meaning because they are unspecific. Using buzzwords like "hard work" and "valuable lessons" comes off as unoriginal, so avoid using them at all costs. Your reflections need to be specific to you to be most meaningful. If you could (in theory) pluck out sentences from your essay and drop them into another student's essay, then chances are those sentences are not very insightful. Your ideas should be only have been able to been written by you: specific to your experiences, personal in nature, and show deep reflection.

Although this essay uses the topic of "being a football manager," by the end of the essay it isn't clear what that role even constitutes. Avoid over-relying on other people or other's ideas when writing your essay. That is, most of the reflections in this essay are based on what the author witnessed the football team doing, rather than what they experienced for themselves in their role. Focus on your own experiences first, and be as specific and tangible as possible when describing your ideas. Rather than saying "hard work," show that hard work through an anecdote.

More important than your stories is the "So what?" behind them. Avoid writing stories that don't have a clear purpose besides "setting the scene." Although most fiction writing describes people and places as exposition, for your essays you want to avoid that unless it specifically contributes to your main point. In this essay, the first two paragraphs are almost entirely unnecessary, as the point of them can be captured in one sentence: "I joined to be a football manager one summer." The details of how that happened aren't necessary because they aren't reflected upon.

In typical academic writing, we're taught to "tell them what you're going to tell them" before telling them. But for college essays, every word is highly valuable. Avoid prefacing your statements and preparing the reader for them. Instead of saying "XYZ would prove to be an unforgettable experience," just dive right into the experience itself. Think of admissions officers as "being in a rush," and give them what they want: your interesting ideas and experiences.

Common App Essay Example #7: Coffee

This student was admitted to several selective colleges, including Emory University, Northwestern University , Tufts University, and the University of Southern California . Here's their Common Application they submitted to these schools:

I was 16 years old, and working at a family-owned coffee shop training other employees to pour latte art. Making coffee became an artistic outlet that I never had before. I always loved math, but once I explored the complexities of coffee, I began to delve into a more creative realm--photography and writing--and exposed myself to the arts--something foreign and intriguing.

This essay uses coffee as a metaphor for this student's self-growth, especially in dealing with the absence of their father. Showing the change of their relationship with coffee works well as a structure because it allows the student to explore various activities and ideas while making them seem connected.

This student does a great job of including specifics, such as coffee terminology ("bloom the grounds" and "pour a swan"). Using specific and "nerdy" language shows your interests effectively. Don't worry if they won't understand all the references exactly, as long as there is context around them.

While coffee is the central topic, the author also references their father extensively throughout. It isn't clear until the conclusion how these topics relate, which makes the essay feel disjointed. In addition, there is no strong main idea, but instead a few different ideas. In general, it is better to focus on one interesting idea and delve deeply, rather than focus on many and be surface-level.

Near the conclusion, this student tells about their character: "humble, yet important, simple, yet complex..." You should avoid describing yourself to admissions officers, as it is less convincing. Instead, use stories, anecdotes, and ideas to demonstrate these qualities. For example, don't say "I'm curious," but show them by asking questions. Don't say, "I'm humble," but show them with how you reacted after a success or failure.

Common App Essay Example #8: Chicago

Here's another Northwestern essay . Northwestern is a quite popular school with lots of strong essay-focused applicants, which makes your "Why Northwestern?" essay important.

To write a strong Why Northwestern essay, try to answer these questions: What does NU represent to you? What does NU offer for you (and your interests) that other schools don't?

This essay uses a variety of descriptive and compelling words, without seeming forced or unnatural. It is important that you use your best vocabulary, but don't go reaching for a thesaurus. Instead, use words that are the most descriptive, while remaining true to how you'd actually write.

This essay is one big metaphor: the "L" train serves as a vehicle to explore this student's intellectual curiosity. Throughout the essay, the student also incorporates creative metaphors like "the belly of a gargantuan silver beast" and "seventy-five cent silver chariot" that show a keen sense of expression. If a metaphor sounds like one you've heard before, you probably shouldn't use it.

This student does a fantastic job of naturally talking about their activities. By connecting their activities to a common theme—in this case the "L" train—you can more easily move from one activity to the next, without seeming like you're just listing activities. This serves as an engaging way of introducing your extracurriculars and achievements, while still having the focus of your essay be on your interesting ideas.

Admissions officers are ultimately trying to get a sense of who you are. This student does a great job of taking the reader into their world. By sharing quirks and colloquialisms (i.e. specific language you use), you can create an authentic sense of personality.

Common App Essay Example #9: Mountaineering

Here's a liberal arts college Common App essay from Colby College . Colby is a highly ranked liberal arts college.

As with all colleges—but especially liberal arts schools—your personal essay will be a considerable factor.

In this essay, the student describes their experience climbing Mount Adams, and the physical and logistical preparations that went into it. They describe how they overcame some initial setbacks by using their organizational skills from previous expeditions.

This Colby student explains how the process of preparation can lead to success in academics and other endeavours, but with the potential for negative unintended consequences.

Common App Prompt #2: The lessons we take from obstacles we encounter can be fundamental to later success. Recount a time when you faced a challenge, setback, or failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience? (250-650 words)

This essay does a great job of having a cohesive theme: mountaineering. Often times, great essay topics can be something simple on the surface, such as your favorite extracurricular activity or a notable experience. Consider using the literal activity as a sort of metaphor, like this essay does. This student uses mountaineering as a metaphor for preparation in the face of upcoming challenge. Using an overarching metaphor along with a central theme can be effective because it allows you to explore various ideas while having them all feel connected and cohesive.

Admissions officers want to see your self-growth, which doesn't always mean your successes. Often times, being vulnerable by expressing your struggles is powerful because it makes you more human and relatable, while providing the opportunity to reflect on what you learned. The best lessons from come failures, and writing about challenge can also make your later successes feel more impactful. Everyone loves to hear an underdog or zero-to-hero story. But counterintuitively, your failures are actually more important than your successes.

This essay has some nice ideas about focusing only on what's in your control: your attitude and your effort. However, these ideas are ultimately somewhat generic as they have been used countless times in admissions essays. Although ideas like this can be a good foundation, you should strive to reach deeper ideas. Deeper ideas are ones that are specific to you, unique, and interesting. You can reach deeper ideas by continually asking yourself "How" and "Why" questions that cause you to think deeper about a topic. Don't be satisfied with surface-level reflections. Think about what they represent more deeply, or how you can connect to other ideas or areas of your life.

Common App Essay Example #10: Boarding School

This personal essay was accepted to Claremont McKenna College . See how this student wrote a vulnerable essay about boarding school experience and their family relationship:

I began attending boarding school aged nine.

Obviously, this is not particularly unusual – my school dorms were comprised of boys and girls in the same position as me. However, for me it was difficult – or perhaps it was for all of us; I don’t know. We certainly never discussed it.

I felt utterly alone, as though my family had abruptly withdrawn the love and support thatI so desperately needed. At first, I did try to open up to them during weekly phone calls, but what could they do? As months slipped by, the number of calls reduced. I felt they had forgotten me. Maybe they felt I had withdrawn from them. A vast chasm of distance was cracking open between us.

At first, I shared my hurt feelings with my peers, who were amazingly supportive, but there was a limit to how much help they could offer. After a while, I realized that by opening up, I was burdening them, perhaps even irritating them. The feelings I was sharing should have been reserved for family. So, I withdrew into myself. I started storing up my emotions and became a man of few words. In the classroom or on the sports field, people saw a self-confident and cheerful character, but behind that facade was someone who yearned for someone to understand him and accept him as he was.

Years went past.

Then came the phone call which was about to change my life. “Just come home Aryan, it’s really important!” My mother’s voice was odd, brittle. I told her I had important exams the following week, so needed to study. “Aryan, why don’t you listen to me? There is no other option, okay? You are coming home.”

Concerned, I arranged to fly home. When I got there, my sister didn’t say hi to me, my grandmother didn’t seem overly enthusiastic to see me and my mother was nowhere to be seen. I wanted to be told why I was called back so suddenly just to be greeted as though I wasn’t even welcome.

Then my mother then came out of her room and saw me. To my immense incredulity, she ran to me and hugged me, and started crying in my arms.

Then came the revelation, “Your father had a heart attack.”

My father. The man I hadn’t really talked to in years. A man who didn’t even know who I was anymore. I’d spent so long being disappointed in him and suspecting he was disappointed in me, I sunk under a flood of emotions.

I opened the door to his room and there he was sitting on his bed with a weak smile on his face. I felt shaken to my core. All at once it was clear to me how self-centered I had become. A feeling of humiliation engulfed me, but finally I realized that rather than wallow in it, I needed to appreciate I was not alone in having feelings.

I remained at home that week. I understood that my family needed me. I worked with my uncle to ensure my family business was running smoothly and often invited relatives or friends over to cheer my father up.

Most importantly, I spent time with my family. It had been years since I’d last wanted to do this – I had actively built the distance between us – but really, I’d never stopped craving it. Sitting together in the living room, I realized how badly I needed them.

Seeing happiness in my father’s eyes, I felt I was finally being the son he had always needed me to be: A strong, capable young man equipped to take over the family business if need be.

Common App Essay Example #11: My Father

This Cornell University essay is an example of writing about a tragedy, which can be a tricky topic to write about well.

Family and tragedy essays are a commonly used topic, so it can be harder to come up with a unique essay idea using these topics.

Let me know what you think of this essay for Cornell:

My father was wise, reserved, hardworking, and above all, caring. I idolized his humility and pragmatism, and I cherish it today. But after his death, I was emotionally raw. I could barely get through class without staving off a breakdown.

Writing about tragedy, such as the loss of a loved one, is a tricky topic because it has been used countless times in college admissions. It is difficult to not come off as a "victim" or that you're trying to garner sympathy by using the topic (i.e. a "sob story"). This essay does a great job of writing about a personal tragedy in a meaningful and unique way by connecting to values and ideas, rather than staying focused on what literally happened. By connecting tragedy to lessons and takeaways, you can show how—despite the difficulty and sorrow—you have gained something positive from it, however small that may be. Don't write about personal tragedy because you think "you should." As with any topic, only write about it if you have a meaningful point to make.

This essay is effective at making the reader feel the similar emotions as the author does and in bringing the reader into their "world." Even small remarks like noting the the "firsts" without their loved one are powerful because it is relatable and something that is apparent, but not commonly talked about. Using short phrases like "That was it. No goodbye, no I love you..." create emphasis and again a sense of relatability. As the reader, you can vividly imagine how the author must have felt during these moments. The author also uses questions, such as "What did I last say to him?" which showcase their thought process, another powerful way to bring the reader into your world.

Admissions officers are looking for self-growth, which can come in a variety of forms. Showing a new perspective is one way to convey that you've developed over time, learned something new, or gained new understanding or appreciation. In this essay, the student uses the "sticker of a black and white eye" to represent how they viewed their father differently before and after his passing. By using a static, unchanging object like this, and showing how you now view it differently over time, you convey a change in perspective that can make for interesting reflections.

Common App Essay Example #12: DMV Trials

Here's a funny Common App essay from a Northwestern admitted student about getting their driver's license.

This topic has been used before—as many "topics" have—but what's important is having a unique take or idea.

What do you think of this Northwestern essay ?

Breath, Emily, breath. I drive to the exit and face a four-lane roadway. “Turn left,” my passenger says.

On July 29, [Date] , I finally got my license. After the April debacle, I practiced driving almost every week. I learned to stop at stop signs and look both ways before crossing streets, the things I apparently didn’t know how to do during my first two tests. When pulling into the parking lot with the examiner for the last time, a wave of relief washed over me.

This essay does a good job of having a compelling narrative. By setting the scene descriptively, it is easy to follow and makes for a pleasant reading experience. However, avoid excessive storytelling, as it can overshadow your reflections, which are ultimately most important.

This essay has some moments where the author may come off as being overly critical, of either themselves or of others. Although it is okay (and good) to recognize your flaws, you don't want to portray yourself in a negative manner. Avoid being too negative, and instead try to find the positive aspects when possible.

More important than your stories is the answer to "So what?" and why they matter. Avoid writing a personal statement that is entirely story-based, because this leaves little room for reflection and to share your ideas. In this essay, the reflections are delayed to the end and not as developed as they could be.

In this essay, it comes across that failure is negative. Although the conclusion ultimately has a change of perspective in that "failure is inevitable and essential to moving forward," it doesn't address that failure is ultimately a positive thing. Admissions officers want to see failure and your challenges, because overcoming those challenges is what demonstrates personal growth.

Common App Essay Example #13: Ice Cream Fridays

This Columbia essay starts off with a vulnerable moment of running for school president. The student goes on to show their growth through Model UN, using detailed anecdotes and selected moments.

My fascination with geopolitical and economic issues were what kept me committed to MUN. But by the end of sophomore year, the co-presidents were fed up. “Henry, we know how hard you try, but there are only so many spots for each conference...” said one. “You’re wasting space, you should quit,” said the other.

This essay has a compelling story, starting from this author's early struggles with public speaking and developing into their later successes with Model UN. Using a central theme—in this case public speaking—is an effective way of creating a cohesive essay. By having a main idea, you can tie in multiple moments or achievements without them coming across unrelated.

This student talks about their achievements with a humble attitude. To reference your successes, it's equally important to address your failures. By expressing your challenges, it will make your later achievements seem more impactful in contrast. This student also is less "me-focused" and instead is interested in others dealing with the same struggles. By connecting to people in your life, values, or interesting ideas, you can reference your accomplishments without coming off as bragging.

This essay has moments of reflection, such as "math and programming made sense... people didn't". However, most of these ideas are cut short, without going much deeper. When you strike upon a potentially interesting idea, keep going with it. Try to explain the nuances, or broaden your idea to more universal themes. Find what is most interesting about your experience and share that with admissions.

Stories are important, but make sure all your descriptions are critical for the story. In this essay, the author describes things that don't add to the story, such as the appearance of other people or what they were wearing. These ultimately don't relate to their main idea—overcoming public speaking challenges—and instead are distracting.

Common App Essay Example #14: Key to Happiness

Here's a Brown University application essay that does a great job of a broad timeline essay. This student shows the change in their thinking and motivations over a period of time, which makes for an interesting topic.

Let me know what you think of this Brown essay:

Common App Prompt #3: Reflect on a time when you questioned or challenged a belief or idea. What prompted your thinking? What was the outcome? (250-650 words)

This student's first language is not English, which provides some insight into why the phrasing may not seem as natural or show as much personality. Admissions officers are holistic in determining who to admit, meaning they take into account many different factors when judging your essays. While this essay may not be the strongest, the applicant probably had other qualities or "hooks" that helped them get accepted, such as awards, activities, unique background, etc. Plus, there is some leniency granted to students who don't speak English as their first language, because writing essays in a foreign language is tough in and of itself.

It's good to be confident in your achievements, but you don't want to come across as boastful or self-assured. In this essay, some of the phrasing such as "when I was the best at everything" seems exaggerated and is off-putting. Instead of boosting your accomplishments, write about them in a way that almost "diminishes" them. Connect your achievements to something bigger than you: an interesting idea, a passionate cause, another person or group. By not inflating your achievements, you'll come across more humble and your achievements will actually seem more impactful. We all have heard of a highly successful person who thinks "it's no big deal," which actually makes their talents seem far more impressive.

This essay has some takeaways and reflections, as your essay should too, but ultimately these ideas are unoriginal and potentially cliché. Ideas like "what makes you happy is pursing your passion" are overused and have been heard thousands of times by admissions officers. Instead, focus on getting to unique and "deep" ideas: ideas that are specific to you and that have meaningful implications. It's okay to start off with more surface-level ideas, but you want to keep asking questions to yourself like "Why" and "How" to push yourself to think deeper. Try making connections, asking what something represents more broadly, or analyzing something from a different perspective.

You don't need to preface your ideas in your essay. Don't say things like "I later found out this would be life-changing, and here's why." Instead, just jump into the details that are most compelling. In this essay, there are moments that seem repetitive and redundant because they don't add new ideas and instead restate what's already been said in different words. When editing your essay, be critical of every sentence (and even words) by asking: Does this add something new to my essay? Does it have a clear, distinct purpose? If the answer is no, you should probably remove that sentence.

Common App Essay Example #15: Discovering Passion

Here's a Johns Hopkins essay that shows how the student had a change in attitude and perspective after taking a summer job at a care facility.

It may seem odd to write about your potential drawbacks or weaknesses—such as having a bad attitude towards something—but it's real and can help demonstrate personal growth.

So tell me your thoughts on this JHU Common App essay:

Common App Prompt #5: Discuss an accomplishment, event, or realization that sparked a period of personal growth and a new understanding of yourself or others. (250-650 words)

This student uses vulnerability in admitting that they held preconceived notions about the elderly before this experience. The quote introduces these preconceived notions well, while the description of how this student got their job in the care facility is also engaging.

Admission officers love to see your interactions with others. Showing how you interact reveals a lot about your character, and this essay benefits from reflecting upon the student's relationship with a particular elderly individual.

It is good to be descriptive, but only when it supports your expression of ideas. In this essay, the author uses adjectives and adverbs excessively, without introducing new ideas. Your ideas are more important than having a diverse vocabulary, and the realizations in this essay are muddled by rephrasing similar ideas using seemingly "impressive," but ultimately somewhat meaningless, vocabulary.

This essay touches on some interesting ideas, but on multiple occasions these ideas are repeated just in different phrasing. If you have already expressed an idea, don't repeat it unless you're adding something new: a deeper context, a new angle, a broadened application, etc. Ask yourself: what is the purpose of each sentence, and have I expressed it already?

It's true that almost any topic can make for a strong essay, but certain topics are trickier because they make it easy to write about overly used ideas. In this essay, the main idea can be summarized as: "I realized the elderly were worthy humans too." It touches upon more interesting ideas, such as how people can be reduced down to their afflictions rather than their true character, but the main idea is somewhat surface-level.

Common App Essay Example #16: "A Cow Gave Birth"

This Common App essay for the University of Pennsylvania centers on the theme of womanhood. Not only is it well-written, but this essay has interesting and unique ideas that relate to the student's interests.

Common App Essay Example #17: Robotics

This Common App essay was for Washington University in St. Louis .

This student writes about their experience creating and using an engineering notebook to better document their robotics progress. They share the story of how their dedication and perseverance led to winning awards and qualifying for the national championships.

Lastly, they reflect on the importance of following one's passions in life and decision to pursue a business degree instead of a engineering one.

This essay touches on various lessons that they've learned as a result of their experience doing robotics. However, these lessons are ultimately surface-level and generic, such as "I embraced new challenges." Although these could be a starting point for deeper ideas, on their own they come off as unoriginal and overused. Having interesting ideas is what makes an essay the most compelling, and you need to delve deeply into reflection, past the surface-level takeaways. When drafting and brainstorming, keep asking yourself questions like "How" and "Why" to dig deeper. Ask "What does this represent? How does it connect to other things? What does this show about myself/the world/society/etc.?"

Although this essay is focused on "VEX robotics," the details of what that activity involves are not elaborated. Rather than focusing on the surface-level descriptions like "We competed and won," it would be more engaging to delve into the details. What did your robot do? How did you compete? What were the specific challenges in "lacking building materials"? Use visuals and imagery to create a more engaging picture of what you were doing.

The hook and ending sentences of "drifting off to sleep" feel arbitrary and not at all connected to any ideas throughout the essay. Instead, it comes off as a contrived choice to create a "full circle" essay. Although coming full circle is often a good strategy, there should be a specific purpose in doing so. For your intro, try using a short sentence that creates emphasis on something interesting. For the conclusion, try using similar language to the intro, expanding upon your ideas to more universal takeaways, or connecting back to previous ideas with a new nuance.

Common App Essay Example #18: Lab Research

Common app essay example #19: carioca dance.

Having a natural-sounding style of writing can be a great way of conveying personality. This student does a fantastic job of writing as they'd speak, which lets admissions officers create a clear "image" of who you are in their head. By writing naturally and not robotically, you can create a "voice" and add character to your essay.

This student chooses a unique activity, the Carioca drill, as their main topic. By choosing a "theme" like this, it allows you to easily and naturally talk about other activities too, without seeming like you're simply listing activities. This student uses the Carioca as a metaphor for overcoming difficulties and relates it to their other activities and academics—public speaking and their job experience.

Showing a sense of humor can indicate wit, which not only makes you seem more likeable, but also conveys self-awareness. By not always taking yourself 100% seriously, you can be more relatable to the reader. This student acknowledges their struggles in conjunction with using humor ("the drills were not named after me—'Saads'"), which shows a recognition that they have room to improve, while not being overly self-critical.

Common App Essay Example #20: Chinese Language

The list of languages that Lincoln offered startled me. “There’s so many,” I thought, “Latin, Spanish, Chinese, and French.”

As soon as I stepped off the plane, and set my eyes upon the beautiful city of Shanghai, I fell in love. In that moment, I had an epiphany. China was made for me, and I wanted to give it all my first; first job and first apartment.

Using creative metaphors can be an effective way of conveying ideas. In this essay, the metaphor of "Chinese characters...were the names of my best friends" tells a lot about this student's relationship with the language. When coming up with metaphors, a good rule of thumb is: if you've heard it before, don't use it. Only use metaphors that are specific, make sense for what you're trying to say, and are highly unique.

Whenever you "tell" something, you should try and back it up with anecdotes, examples, or experiences. Instead of saying that "I made conversation," this student exemplifies it by listing who they talked to. Showing is always going to be more compelling than telling because it allows the reader to come to the conclusion on their own, which makes them believe it much stronger. Use specific, tangible examples to back up your points and convince the reader of what you're saying.

Although this essay has reflections, they tend to be more surface-level, rather than unique and compelling. Admissions officers have read thousands of application essays and are familiar with most of the ideas students write about. To stand out, you'll need to dive deeper into your ideas. To do this, keep asking yourself questions whenever you have an interesting idea. Ask "Why" and "How" repeatedly until you reach something that is unique, specific to you, and super interesting.

Avoid writing a conclusion that only "sounds nice," but lacks real meaning. Often times, students write conclusions that go full circle, or have an interesting quote, but they still don't connect to the main idea of the essay. Your conclusion should be your strongest, most interesting idea. It should say something new: a new perspective, a new takeaway, a new aspect of your main point. End your essay strongly by staying on topic, but taking your idea one step further to the deepest it can go.

Common App Essay Example #21: Kiki's Delivery Service

Common App Prompt #6: Describe a topic, idea, or concept you find so engaging that it makes you lose all track of time. Why does it captivate you? What or who do you turn to when you want to learn more? (250-650 words)

I spent much of my childhood watching movies. I became absolutely engrossed in many different films, TV shows, and animations. From the movie theatres to the TV, I spent my hours enjoying the beauty of visual media. One place that was special to me was the car. My parents purchased a special screen that could be mounted on the back of the headrest, so that I could watch movies on trips. This benefited both parties, as I was occupied, and they had peace. Looking back, I realize this screen played a crucial role in my childhood. It was an integral part of many journeys. I remember taking a drive to Washington D.C, with my visiting relatives from Poland, and spending my time with my eyes on the screen. I remember packing up my possessions and moving to my current home from Queens, watching my cartoons the whole time. I can comfortably say that watching movies in the car has been an familiar anchor during times of change in my life.

I used to watch many different cartoons, nature documentaries, and other products in the car, yet there has been one movie that I have rewatched constantly. It is called “Kiki’s Delivery Service” by Hayao Miyazaki. My parents picked it up at a garage sale one day, and I fell in love. The style of the animations were beautiful, and the captivating story of a thirteen year old witch leaving home really appealed to me. To be honest, the initial times I watched it, I didn’t fully understand the story but the magic and beauty just made me happy. Then, the more I watched it, I began to see that it was more about independence, including the need to get away from home and establish yourself as your own person. This mirrors how I felt during that period of my life,with mehaving a little rebellious streak; I didn’t agree with my parents on certain topics. That is not the end of the story though. As the years passed, and I watched it a couple more times, although with less frequency than before, my view of this movie evolved yet again.

Instead of solely thinking about the need for independence, I began to think the movie was more about the balance of independence and reliance. In the movie, the girl finds herself struggling until she begins to accept help from others. Looking back, this also follows my own philosophy during this time. As I began to mature, I began to realize the value of family, and accept all the help I can get from them. I appreciate all the hard work they had done for me, and I recognize their experience in life and take advantage of it. I passed through my rebellious phase, and this reflected in my analysis of the movie. I believe that this is common, and if I look through the rest of my life I am sure I would find other similar examples of my thoughts evolving based on the stage in my life. This movie is one of the most important to me throughout my life.

Common App Essay Example #22: Museum of Life

Using visuals can be a way to add interesting moments to your essay. Avoid being overly descriptive, however, as it can be distracting from your main point. When drafting, start by focusing on your ideas (your reflections and takeaways). Once you have a rough draft, then you can consider ways to incorporate imagery that can add character and flavor to your essay.

Admissions officers are people, just like you, and therefore are drawn to personalities that exhibit positive qualities. Some of the most important qualities to portray are: humility, curiosity, thoughtfulness, and passion. In this essay, there are several moments that could be interpreted as potentially self-centered or arrogant. Avoid trying to make yourself out to be "better" or "greater" than other people. Instead, focus on having unique and interesting ideas first, and this will show you as a likeable, insightful person. Although this is a "personal" statement, you should also avoid over using "I" in your essay. When you have lots of "I" sentences, it starts to feel somewhat ego-centric, rather than humble and interested in something greater than you.

This essay does a lot of "telling" about the author's character. Instead, you want to provide evidence—through examples, anecdotes, and moments—that allow the reader to come to their own conclusions about who you are. Avoid surface-level takeaways like "I am open-minded and have a thirst for knowledge." These types of statements are meaningless because anyone can write them. Instead, focus on backing up your points by "showing," and then reflect genuinely and deeply on those topics.

This essay is focused on art museums and tries to tie in a connection to studying medicine. However, because this connection is very brief and not elaborated, the connection seems weak. To connect to your area of study when writing about a different topic, try reflecting on your topic first. Go deep into interesting ideas by asking "How" and "Why" questions. Then, take those ideas and broaden them. Think of ways they could differ or parallel your desired area of study. The best connections between a topic (such as an extracurricular) and your area of study (i.e. your major) is through having interesting ideas.

Common App Essay Example #23: French Horn

This student chose the creative idea of personifying their French horn as their central theme. Using this personification, they are able to write about a multitude of moments while making them all feel connected. This unique approach also makes for a more engaging essay, as it is not overly straightforward and generic.

It can be challenging to reference your achievements without seeming boastful or coming across too plainly. This student manages to write about their successes ("acceptance into the Julliard Pre-College program") by using them as moments part of a broader story. The focus isn't necessarily on the accomplishments themselves, but the role they play in this relationship with their instrument. By connecting more subtly like this, it shows humility. Often, "diminishing" your achievements will actually make them stand out more, because it shows you're focused on the greater meaning behind them, rather than just "what you did."

This student does a good job of exemplifying each of their ideas. Rather than just saying "I experienced failure," they show it through imagery ("dried lips, cracked notes, and missed entrances"). Similarly, with their idea "no success comes without sacrifice," they exemplify it using examples of sacrifice. Always try to back up your points using examples, because showing is much more convincing than telling. Anyone can "tell" things, but showing requires proof.

This essay has a decent conclusion, but it could be stronger by adding nuance to their main idea or connecting to the beginning with a new perspective. Rather than repeating what you've established previously, make sure your conclusion has a different "angle" or new aspect. This can be connecting your main idea to more universal values, showing how you now view something differently, or emphasizing a particular aspect of your main idea that was earlier introduced.

Common App Essay Example #24: Dear My Younger Self

Common App Prompt #7: Share an essay on any topic of your choice. It can be one you've already written, one that responds to a different prompt, or one of your own design. (250-650 words)

Younger Anna,

• Don’t live your life as if you're constantly being watched and criticized. Chances are, no one is even paying attention to you.
• Wear your retainer.
• Empathy makes your life easier. People who are inexplicably cruel are suffering just as much as the recipients of their abuse. Understanding this makes your interactions with these people less painful.
• Comparing yourself to your classmates is counterproductive. Sometimes you will forge ahead, other times you will lag behind. But ultimately, you’re only racing yourself.
• Speak up to your stepmom.
• Always eat the cake. I couldn't tell you how many times I’ve turned away a slice of cake, only to regret it the next day. If you really can’t commit, do yourself a favor and take a slice home with you.
• Cherish your grandparents.
• Forgive your mother. Harboring resentment hurts you just as much as her. All the time I spent being angry at her could’ve been spent discovering her strengths.

This essay chose a unique structure in the form of a letter addressed to themselves with a list of lessons they've learned. This structure is unique, and also allows the student to explore a variety of topics and ideas while making them all feel connected. It is tricky to not seem "gimmicky" when choosing a creative structure like this, but the key is to make your essay well thought-out. Show that you've put effort into reflecting deeply, and that you aren't choosing a unique structure just to stand out.

This essay is highly focused on lessons they've learned, which shows a deep level of reflection. Your ideas and takeaways from life experience are ultimately most compelling to admissions officers, and this essay succeeds because it is focused almost entirely on those reflections. This student also manages to incorporate anecdotes and mini stories where appropriate, which makes their reflections more memorable by being tangible.

Showing humility and self-awareness are two highly attractive traits in college admissions. Being able to recognize your own flaws and strengths, while not making yourself out to be more than what you are, shows that you are mature and thoughtful. Avoid trying to "boost yourself up" by exaggerating your accomplishments or over-emphasizing your strengths. Instead, let your ideas speak for themselves, and by focusing on genuine, meaningful ideas, you'll convey a persona that is both humble and insightful.

The drawback of having a structure like this, where lots of different ideas are examined, is that no one idea is examined in-depth. As a result, some ideas (such as "intelligence is not defined by your grades") come across as trite and overused. In general, avoid touching on lots of ideas while being surface-level. Instead, it's almost always better to choose a handful (or even just one main idea) and go as in-depth as possible by continually asking probing questions—"How" and "Why"—that force yourself to think deeper and be more critical. Having depth of ideas shows inquisitiveness, thoughtfulness, and ultimately are more interesting because they are ideas that only you could have written.

Common App Essay Example #25: Monopoly

Feeling a bit weary from my last roll of the dice, I cross my fingers with the “FREE PARKING” square in sight. As luck has it, I smoothly glide past the hotels to have my best horse show yet- earning multiple wins against stiff competition and gaining points to qualify for five different national finals this year.

This essay uses the board game "Monopoly" as a metaphor for their life. By using a metaphor as your main topic, you can connect to different ideas and activities in a cohesive way. However, make sure the metaphor isn't chosen arbitrarily. In this essay, it isn't completely clear why Monopoly is an apt metaphor for their life, because the specific qualities that make Monopoly unique aren't explained or elaborated. Lots of games require "strategy and precision, with a hint of luck and a tremendous amount of challenge," so it'd be better to focus on the unique aspects of the game to make a more clear connection. For example, moving around the board in a "repetitive" fashion, but each time you go around with a different perspective. When choosing a metaphor, first make sure that it is fitting for what you're trying to describe.

You want to avoid listing your activities or referencing them without a clear connection to something greater. Since you have an activities list already, referencing your activities in your essay should have a specific purpose, rather than just emphasizing your achievements. In this essay, the student connects their activities by connecting them to a specific idea: how each activity is like a mini challenge that they must encounter to progress in life. Make sure your activities connect to something specifically: an idea, a value, an aspect of your character.

This essay lacks depth in their reflections by not delving deeply into their main takeaways. In this essay, the main "idea" is that they've learned to be persistent with whatever comes their way. This idea could be a good starting point, but on its own is too generic and not unique enough. Your idea should be deep and specific, meaning that it should be something only you could have written about. If your takeaway could be used in another student's essay without much modification, chances are it is a surface-level takeaway and you want to go more in-depth. To go in-depth, keep asking probing questions like "How" and "Why" or try making more abstract connections between topics.

In the final two paragraphs, this essay does a lot of "telling" about the lessons they've learned. They write "I know that in moments of doubt...I can rise to the occasion." Although this could be interesting, it would be far more effective if this idea is shown through anecdotes or experiences. The previous examples in the essay don't "show" this idea. When drafting, take your ideas and think of ways you can represent them without having to state them outright. By showing your points, you will create a more engaging and convincing essay because you'll allow the reader to come to the conclusion themselves, rather than having to believe what you've told them.

What Can You Learn from These Common App Essay Examples?

With these 25 Common App essay examples, you can get inspired and improve your own personal statement.

If you want to get accepted into selective colleges this year, your Common App essays needs to be its best possible.

What makes a good Common App essay isn't easy to define. There aren't any rules or steps.

But using these samples from real students, you can understand what it takes to write an outstanding personal statement .

Let me know, which Common App essay did you think was the best?

Ryan Chiang , Founder of EssaysThatWorked.com

Want to read more amazing essays that worked for top schools?

Hey! 👋 I'm Ryan Chiang, the founder of Essays That Worked.

Get our 5-minute free newsletter packed with essay tips and college admissions resources, backed by real-life examples from admitted students at top-20 schools.

Meet the Author

Ryan Chiang

I'm Ryan Chiang and I created EssaysThatWorked.com - a website dedicated to helping students and their families apply to college with confident. We publish the best college admissions essays from successful applicants every year to inspire and teach future students.

You might also like:

20 Successful College Essay Examples + Why They Worked (2024)

20 Brilliant Personal Statement Examples + Why They Work

UCLA Acceptance Rate By Major & Program 2024

37 Unique "Why This College" Essay Examples for Top-20 Colleges

What do outstanding essays have in common? Here are our 23 most effective strategies based on lessons from admitted students.

No spam. Unsubscribe anytime.

By signing up you agree to Terms and Privacy Policy

Now available for June 2024 ...

The College Essay Workshop

Join my on-demand step-by-step course for crafting outstanding college admissions essays, plus 1-on-1 help.

Here's everything needed to write essays worthy of Top-20 colleges.

Google Rating

Join our students who have earned acceptances to schools like...

See exactly how students wrote admitted essays for top schools.

Our 231 essay examples show you how ordinary students wrote outstanding essays that helped their applications - all in their own words.

These aren’t just essay examples - but real acceptance stories, from real students who share their most intimate details with you - down to their real essays and exact profiel stats.

How do I find a unique topic? How do I write a great essay? And how do I stand out?

Our 231 essay examples break down these exact questions. Every type of essay prompt, student, and school.

You’ll realize these students are just like you - and that, deep down, you can do it too.

Princeton Admitted Essay

People love to ask why. Why do you wear a turban? Why do you have long hair? Why are you playing a guitar with only 3 strings and watching TV at 3 A.M.—where did you get that cat? Why won’t you go back to your country, you terrorist? My answer is... uncomfortable. Many truths of the world are uncomfortable...

MIT Admitted Essay

Her baking is not confined to an amalgamation of sugar, butter, and flour. It's an outstretched hand, an open invitation, a makeshift bridge thrown across the divides of age and culture. Thanks to Buni, the reason I bake has evolved. What started as stress relief is now a lifeline to my heritage, a language that allows me to communicate with my family in ways my tongue cannot. By rolling dough for saratele and crushing walnuts for cornulete, my baking speaks more fluently to my Romanian heritage than my broken Romanian ever could....

UPenn Admitted Essay

A cow gave birth and I watched. Staring from the window of our stopped car, I experienced two beginnings that day: the small bovine life and my future. Both emerged when I was only 10 years old and cruising along the twisting roads of rural Maryland...

Over 200 more admitted essays like these...

Learn the secrets behind outstanding application essays.

College essays are confusing. And it's not your fault. You're not taught how to write them in school.

How should I structure my essay? Can I use humor? What makes a truly great essay?

There's so much conflicting advice out there.

And with people selling "magic formulas" and "structures" to follow... it's easy to be led astray.

You’ll get access to courses, live events, a dedicated essay coach, and countless resources to help you write your best essays.

You finally have a place where you can ask these questions, get advice, and see exactly how admitted students before you did it.

You’re no longer figuring out everything on your own. You're no longer stuck wondering.

Everything you get

231 essays analyzed

Explore our database of 200+ admitted essays from top-20 colleges. Filter by prompt, school, topic, word count, and more. Get expert insights into why they worked and what you can learn from them.

Exclusive access to essay editing

You'll get access to our essay editing services, which is only offered for members. You can get your essays reviewed personally by me (Ryan). I'll give you detailed feedback on how to improve your essays and make them stand out.

Dedicated essay coach & support

You'll get access to our private community, where you can ask questions and get help from me directly. I'll be there to answer your questions and provide unlimited personalized advice.

44 in-depth video lessons

Learn the secrets behind outstanding essays. We break down the entire process, from brainstorming to writing and editing. You'll learn how to write amazing college essays for any prompt, with step-by-step guides and actionable tips.

26 downloadable guides

Get our best tips and tricks in easy-to-read guides. Learn what makes great essays, how to brainstorm your best topics, and how to write specific parts like a powerful hook and memorable ending.

Tons of bonuses

Get the Ultimate College Application Planner, my 154-Point Essay Checklist, and more. You'll also get a free copy of my eBooks, including 23 College Essay Tips to Stand Out and more.

Don't take our word for it

Some names have been changed to protect the privacy of our students and parents.

" Ryan, I want to express our great appreciation to you for your help on George's application essays. You have provided invaluable resources! P.S. I will certainly recommend you to our friends. "

" Ryan—David got into The University of Michigan!!! Only 4 kids got in out of 200 that applied at his school!!! Thank you so so much for everything "

" Thank you for the incredible help Ryan - both Hannah and I have said repeatedly that we could not have done it without you! "

" Thank you for your help with my essays back in November, including my Yale supplements. Just wanted to let you know I ended up getting into and committing to Yale! "

" I feel so much more reassured to press the submit button now. I wish I knew about your site sooner! "

" ... Invaluable to me during the college admissions process! It gave me a different perspective to look at my essays. "

" Initially I was skeptical about my essay's idea and whether it was properly reflected in my writing. This gave me a clear direction! "

Don't miss out on writing your best college essays.

© 2018- 2024 Essays That Worked . All rights reserved.

Registration on or use of this site constitutes acceptance of our Terms and Conditions , Privacy Policy , and Cookie Policy .

We have no affiliation with any university or colleges on this site. All product names, logos, and brands are the property of their respective owners.

15 UPenn Essay Samples That Worked

Updated for the 2024-2025 admissions cycle.

.css-1l736oi{display:-webkit-box;display:-webkit-flex;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;-webkit-align-items:center;-webkit-box-align:center;-ms-flex-align:center;align-items:center;gap:var(--chakra-space-4);font-family:var(--chakra-fonts-heading);} .css-1dkm51f{border-radius:var(--chakra-radii-full);border:1px solid black;} .css-1wp7s2d{margin:var(--chakra-space-3);position:relative;width:1em;height:1em;} .css-cfkose{display:inline;width:1em;height:1em;} About UPenn .css-17xejub{-webkit-flex:1;-ms-flex:1;flex:1;justify-self:stretch;-webkit-align-self:stretch;-ms-flex-item-align:stretch;align-self:stretch;}

The University of Pennsylvania, also known as UPenn, is an Ivy League university that provides students from all over the world with a world-class education. With over 4,700 courses, 150 majors, and 500 clubs and organizations, there is truly something for everyone. The school offers over eight specialized programs. This includes the Bio-Dent Seven Year Bio-Dental Program, which allows students to earn an undergraduate degree in biology and a DMD degree from the school of dentistry in only seven years. Undergraduate students can also take classes at Wharton, which is among the most prestigious business schools in the world. Ultimately, the University of Pennsylvania is an outstanding choice for students to create their future, with exceptional academics, cultural events, landmark buildings, and a bustling campus life.

Unique traditions at UPenn

1. The Naked Quad Run: Every year on the night before the last exam, Penn students take off all their clothes except for shoes and sprint around the school's quad. The tradition began in 1997 as a way to celebrunte the end of the semester in a fun and rally way. 2. The Button Game: Penn's button game is an indoor scavenger hunt that takes place during the Spring semester. The game includes making designs out of buttons and other clues located around campus. 3. Senior Tree Planting: For the class of 1996 and beyond, Penn seniors are invited to plant a tree in West Philadelphia in a ceremony. The tree planting ceremony symbolizes the students' commitment to Penn and to the community. 4. The Red Cross Fire Companies: Penn's oldest student-run organizations date back to the 1800s when students formed the Fire Companies. The Fire Companies fought small fires on campus, performed drills to maintain their skill and performed service activities for the local community. 5. Homecoming Heroes: Penn celebrates their student and alumni achievements by designating a select group of Homecoming Heroes. The Heroes were chosen for their exceptional contributions to the University and their dedication to Penn's mission.

Programs at UPenn

1. Wharton Global Ambassadors: A student-run organization that works to establish relationships with like-minded business professionals from all over the world. 2. Penn Community Garden: An organization dedicated to providing fresh produce to individuals and families in need in the nearby community. 3. Penn Program for Public Service: An organization providing a platform for interdisciplinary service projects that promotes meaningful community engagement. 4. Engineering Without Borders: A student-run organization that links engineering technology and knowledge to empower people in developing countries. 5. PennSocial Justice: A student-led organization fostering social activism to create a just and sustainable world.

At a glance…

Acceptance Rate

Average Cost

Average SAT

Average ACT

Philadelphia, PA

Real Essays from UPenn Admits

Prompt: considering the specific undergraduate school you have selected, describe how you intend to explore your academic and intellectual interests at the university of pennsylvania..

The intersection between environmental science and debate are the two subjects I’ve realized I aspire to study, and Penn can effectively allow me to study their interdisciplinary connections.

As a student of Penn’s College of Arts and Sciences, I’ll seek to explore these subjects further with the people who piqued my curiosity in the first place. For example, Professor Kok-Chor Tan wrote a paper on the relationship between justice and wildlife protection, which prompted my interest in the intersections of philosophy and our ecosystem. I’d take his Philosophy of Law course (PHIL-1450) to learn about distributive justice in law, so I can strengthen my capabilities to campaign for eco-policies in the Philadelphia area, like the “Keep Philly Green & Water Clean” initiative.

Additionally, I’d also want to pursue research with professors like Cary Coglianese, who wrote a paper on policymakers’ failing responses to climate change, which I cited in a debate on the need for radical change in environmental legislation. The opportunity to learn both within the classroom and collaborate with Penn’s exceptional faculty makes me eager to become a Quaker.

Essay by Michael

Music producer and Philosophy connoisseur @ Penn

Prompt: Write a short thank-you note to someone you have not yet thanked and would like to acknowledge. (We encourage you to share this note with that person, if possible, and reflect on the experience!) (150-200 words)

Dear [Name Redacted], When I loudly greeted you on the first day of high school, I hadn’t noticed that you were busy. Yet, you didn’t seem to mind. You raised your head from that huge pile of paperwork just to tell me I’d make a great singer. You encouraged me to try out for [Choir] when the only singing I’d done so far was in the shower. I remember how you reassured me as I trembled during try-outs, and how you shared my joy when I found out I got in. Thanks to you, I found voice and community in music. Thank you for bearing with my voice cracks and inexperience, and helping me get over them. Thank you for dedicating your weekends and after-school hours to preparing us for our performances. Even during a global pandemic, you’ve organized online concerts and made sure our community persisted. You have been the best teacher, maestro, and mentor I could’ve asked for. Wherever I end up, I know that I will be pursuing vocal music, and benefiting from the confidence and multicultural perspective you’ve helped me gain. Thank you for your guidance and support. Sincerely,

Essay by KK

International CS + Linguistics Major @ Stanford | 400K in Scholarships | Book Session For Unlimited Essay Help, Common App Editing, Vital Tips For Getting Into Stanford & Yale!

Prompt: How will you explore community at Penn? Consider how Penn will help shape your perspective and identity, and how your identity and perspective will help shape Penn. (150-200 words)

Growing up in a racially homogenous society has both its challenges and benefits. Despite being born in the US, I am Japanese at heart, yet face a lack of acceptance in my community. Discrimination is a daily reality. On crowded trains, I find an empty seat next to me, bearing the name gaijin-seat (foreigner seat). Locals referred to me as gaijin rather than the polite form — gaikokujin. Simultaneously, I’ve encountered a unique form of admiration since childhood, with people fixating on my physical attributes: eyelashes, cheekbones, head shape. 

My first-hand experience of both subtle discrimination and excessive admiration has profoundly shaped my perspective on social issues. It serves as a driving force behind my research project on the gender wage gap in South Korea, aiming to comprehend implicit bias and its pervasive societal impact. These experiences have granted me profound insights into the complexities surrounding discrimination and bias, motivating me to contribute to mitigating their effects and fostering inclusivity. I look forward to contributing to Penn’s community, drawing upon my unique experience, and actively participating in organizations such as SIC, The Social Impact Consulting Group, to further the goal of creating an inclusive society, regardless of background or appearance.

Essay by Anastasia P.

Pre-Law Track Freshman @ Harvard University

.css-310tx6{display:-webkit-box;display:-webkit-flex;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;-webkit-align-items:center;-webkit-box-align:center;-ms-flex-align:center;align-items:center;-webkit-box-pack:center;-ms-flex-pack:center;-webkit-justify-content:center;justify-content:center;text-align:center;gap:var(--chakra-space-4);} Find an essay from your twin at UPenn .css-1dkm51f{border-radius:var(--chakra-radii-full);border:1px solid black;} .css-1wp7s2d{margin:var(--chakra-space-3);position:relative;width:1em;height:1em;} .css-cfkose{display:inline;width:1em;height:1em;}

Someone with the same interests, stats, and background as you

Think you can get into a top-10 school? Take our chance-me calculator... if you dare. 🔥

Last updated July 17, 2024

Every piece we write is researched and vetted by a former admissions officer. Read about our mission to pull back the admissions curtain.

Blog > Common App , Essay Examples , Personal Statement > 12 Common App Essay Examples (Graded by Former Admissions Officers)

12 Common App Essay Examples (Graded by Former Admissions Officers)

Admissions officer reviewed by Ben Bousquet, M.Ed Former Vanderbilt University

Written by Alex McNeil, MA Admissions Consultant

Key Takeaway

If you’re applying to college, chances are you’re using the Common Application. And if you’re using the Common Application, then you’re definitely writing a Common Application essay.

But how do you write a Common App essay? More specifically, how do you write a good one that stands out to admissions officers? And hey—what does a good Common App essay even look like?

We’ve compiled some of our favorite college essays for you to read. Even better, our team of former admissions officers has commented on and graded every single essay to guide you through what works (and doesn’t).

Let’s start by looking at an example to get a feel for what you're going for.

Example #1: My Shape

This essay example comes from the Essay Academy , our digital college essay course. It has a really unique structure and uses shapes as a metaphor. It's also written in response to Common App Prompt #2. 

It may seem counterintuitive, but college essays aren’t about showing only showing successes. There’s also room for showing growth. Of course, you want your Common App essay to ultimately communicate a strength about you, but it’s okay to show vulnerability and humility—just like this student does. At the beginning of the essay, we see them start to struggle: their strategy breaks down, and they detail a period of their life when they struggled to keep up.

But by the end of the essay, our writer has found their way. They’ve found new strategies and are more sure of who they are now—a gateway. The writer doesn’t dwell on their struggles. They use the struggles to show growth, adaptability, and strength.

(Want to see more video examples and get personalized application and essay advice?   Let’s work together. )

With that example in mind, let's take a look at the Common App prompts, and then we'll get into even more examples. 

The 2023-2024 Common Application Essay Prompts

First, we should start out by looking at the Common Application essay prompts. Sometimes the prompts change slightly from year to year, but they tend to remain fairly similar.

The Common App essay prompts are just that. Prompts. They prompt you to write an essay by giving you a place to start. They ask questions to help you reflect on important moments in your life. You only have to choose one prompt to answer.

Here they are, listed in the order provided by the Common App:

• Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.
• The lessons we take from obstacles we encounter can be fundamental to later success. Recount a time when you faced a challenge, setback, or failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience?
• Reflect on a time when you questioned or challenged a belief or idea. What prompted your thinking? What was the outcome?
• Reflect on something that someone has done for you that has made you happy or thankful in a surprising way. How has this gratitude affected or motivated you?
• Discuss an accomplishment, event, or realization that sparked a period of personal growth and a new understanding of yourself or others.
• Describe a topic, idea, or concept you find so engaging that it makes you lose all track of time. Why does it captivate you? What or who do you turn to when you want to learn more?
• Share an essay on any topic of your choice. It can be one you've already written, one that responds to a different prompt, or one of your own design.

The prompts cover a range of topics that’s broad enough to let you write about just about anything.

But let us let you in on a little secret: how you answer the Common Application prompt matters less than the quality of the essay you write. After all, you can always choose the open-ended Prompt #7 option.

So our advice is to start with the essay and then choose a prompt to fit. Identifying a topic that resonates with you, regardless of the prompt, will produce the best essay possible. (And if you need some guidance about how to choose a Common App essay topic, check out our college essay writing guide .)

3 Tips for Writing Your Common Application Essay

Overall, your Common App essay should be the centerpiece of your college application. It should work to tie together your cohesive application narrative , and it should give admissions officers a genuine sense of who you are. Let's take a look at a few specific tips for writing a good Common App essay.

Write about a meaningful topic.

Think about the purpose of a Common App essay. It’s really your one chance to communicate directly with your admissions officers. Sure, your application has all your grades and classes and activities, but none of those things is actually you. The Common App essay exists so you can tell admissions officers information they can’t find anywhere else in your application. Think of it like a poetic introduction to who you are. Because you only have 650 words to make your impression, your essay should get straight to it. Choose a topic that reflects something deeply meaningful to who you are.

Write about a strength.

If your Common App essay is like an introduction, then you also want to make a good impression. That means that your essay should communicate one of your core strengths . Maybe you're the most compassionate person in the world. Maybe you’re so inventive that you can make anything out of a paperclip and a rock. Or maybe you’re so wise that everyone comes to you for advice. Whatever strength makes you who you are, let it shine through in your Common Application essay.

Pay attention to the structure of your essay.

As you’ll see in the “Bad” Common App Essay Examples section below, unorganized essays are hard to read. Admissions officers read hundreds to thousands of applications in a single year, so they go through them fast. That means that your essay needs to grab their attention and easily guide them through your narrative. Try your best to organize your ideas in a way that logically draws your reader through the story you’re telling.

Now keep those tips in mind as we go through each of these example essays.

Best Common App Essay Examples

There’s no single correct way to write a Common App essay, but the best ones grab your attention and keep it. They raise interesting questions, stories, and solutions. Writers reflect meaningfully on important topics, and they do so with a kind of elegance that’s hard to pinpoint. Writers use specific details and examples to set the scene. The best essays have narratives cohere perfectly and guide readers seamlessly through the story at hand.

Reading outstanding Common App essays can help you know what to aim for. Not every winning Common App essay has to look like the ones in this section, but they’ll give you a place to get started.

In particular, take note of the admissions officers’ comments and begin thinking about how you can apply these lessons to your own Common App essay.

Example #2: Board Game Family

Common App Prompt #1

“Professor Plum in the kitchen with the candlestick!”(( Opening with dialogue can be a risky choice, especially if it distracts the reader instead of drawing them in. But this essay uses opening dialogue as an effective hook to compel the reader to read on.)) My sister triumphed. I begrudgingly set down my clue tracker and opened the CONFIDENTIAL envelope. Indeed, her theory was correct. The thing about growing up in a board game family is that you quickly learn how to be a sore loser. In my home, countless sibling wars have been waged over an unjust hand of Gin Rummy or an out-of-bounds toe in Twister. But what I lack in sibling sportsmanship I make up for in wits. Playing board games with my family has taught me that the key to winning any game is resilience, sound strategy, and a little bit of charm(( This introduction has some fun language. And with this sentence, the writer gets straight to the heart of their essay. )) .

Candy Land was my gateway game, and it remains one of my favorites to play with my younger siblings. The game itself is simple: pick a card and move to the corresponding color on the board. First one to King Candy’s Castle wins. But, like life, the journey to the castle is full of setbacks. One unlucky draw, and you’ll lose half your progress. Having made many journeys up Candy Mountain, I grew accustomed to these setbacks. As I entered high school, I began facing real-world roadblocks that threatened to send me ten steps backward. My family moved towns, and the transition proved difficult. I felt behind in the new curriculum and lonely at a new school. Establishing a Board Game club helped me find friends and start my journey back toward Candy Castle.

As I grew older, I gravitated toward more difficult games like Risk. Unlike Candy Land, Risk requires strategy. Sure, randomly conquering territories might get you somewhere, but I learned that the most successful crusades are those that feature careful planning. Risk takes up our entire kitchen table, and we’ll play for hours at a time. My brother and I like to establish secret ententes. With whispered asides and unnoticed bathroom breaks, we work together to ensure victory. And when something doesn’t go our way, we revise our strategy and prepare for the next round. Risk isn’t just about taking risks–it’s about learning when to act, what to do, and who to align yourself with. It’s a lesson that applies to life outside the kitchen table, too.

While I’ve learned from every game I’ve played, the most impactful has been Scrabble(( This excerpt shows great personality, reflection, and personal growth.)) . When I started studying for the SATs, my family took up Scrabble. At first, Scrabble almost broke us. Dictionaries were slammed shut, points miscalculated, and tiles mysteriously lost. But with each new game, the board set anew, we remembered our mission: to help me practice vocabulary. With this fresh perspective, we began to work together. Instead of playing to win, we played to challenge each other and ourselves. For every non-word word I put on the board, I had to plead my case. Arguments like “Ahot” is synonymous with cold because of the root “a,” meaning “without” and “Truc” is a fun French word that we should have anglicized a long time ago anyway earned me both eyerolls and points. The more charming I was, the more sound my defense became, and the more likely my family was to concede. Together, we made our own rules and unforgettable memories.

I’ve summited Candy Mountain thousands of times and founded more countries than I can count. Our Scrabble games don’t look like everyone else’s, but these moments around my kitchen table, filled with laughter and rivalries, white lies and trusted alliances, are ones I will always cherish. They have made me into the thoughtful and strategic person I am today. More importantly, they’ve taught me that there’s a lot to learn when you’re having fun(( The writer concludes with this intentional reflection that leaves no question in the reader’s mind about what the main takeaway from the essay should be.)) .

AO Notes on Board Game Family

This essay takes a fun topic, board games, and turns it into a fun college essay. Most importantly, the writer doesn’t spend too much time focusing on the games themselves. Instead, they use the games as a way to talk about themself. That’s the key in an essay like this.

Why this essay stands out:

• Humor: We get a strong sense of the writer’s personality through their humor. It’s okay to show some personality in your college essays!
• Meaning : Through each of these stories, we learn a lot about the writer’s family background. There’s a clear picture of what their home looked like growing up, so we can easily see how they developed into who they are today.
• Action steps: The writer doesn’t just describe fun family game nights. They explicitly connect these game nights to their determination as a player, sibling, and student. We see the steps they took to make new friends, win alongside their brother, and study for the SATs.

Example #3: The Bowl That Taught Me Not to Quit

Common App Prompt #2

The clay felt cold against my skin as my knees hugged the wheel for dear life(( With this opening, we jump right into the writer’s emotions. They don’t have to tell us explicitly what they’re feeling—we can feel that they are anxious from their description alone. It’s a wonderful example of “show, not tell.”)) . Don’t. Fall. Over. I begged the clay to stay put. In the back of my mind, I heard the instructor saying, “The clay will mirror what you do. If you are steady, the clay will be steady.” I planted my feet firmly on the floor and stared my bowl-to-be dead in the eye.

My journey as a ceramicist began as many journeys do: with a scolding from my mother. She said that I was wasting my summer. I needed a hobby. Flipping through the community center catalog, my gaze landed on Ceramics 101: Beginners. I decided to take on the wheel.

Soon, I was captivated. For the last three thousand years, ceramicists have been throwing clay to create pottery that is quicker to make and more reliable than hand-crafted pottery. This past summer, as I developed my pottery skills, I learned about more than clay. I learned about myself.

To start any project, there’s the matter of choosing which clay to use. When it came time for my first throw, I chose stoneware clay for its durability. I grabbed a slab, dabbed it with water, and tossed it on the wheel, just as the teacher had instructed. My foot gently pressed the wheel’s pedal, a vehicle for which I was certainly not licensed. Covered in wet clay, I pressed my hands against the slab, trying to shape it. But it wobbled(( And here we have the main conflict: things did not go as expected. As readers, we ask ourselves: what will the writer do now?)) . It spun completely out of control. I had clay in my hair and up my sleeves. My project, it seemed, was already ruined.

While I didn’t expect to be a ceramics savant, I did expect to make it through the first class without a mud bath. I felt like a failure as I watched all the other students, whose clay was taking shape on gracefully spinning wheels. I was embarrassed. I wanted to quit. And I was used to quitting, having never been able to hold down an extracurricular activity throughout high school(( With this simple sentence, we learn that the writer has struggled with overcoming challenges in the past. )) . Cutting my losses would be quicker than cleaning the clay from my clothes, so I began to wipe off my hands and pack up my things. The instructor approached me, explaining that what had just happened was perfectly normal. She urged me to try again. I didn’t want to, but her presence made me stay.

For the rest of the class, the instructor hovered by my wheel. She was ready to lend a hand when necessary. She was my safety net, and I felt more confident to continue. I squeezed my clay out and down with the care of a first-time mom. It began to look more like a bowl and less like a mound of dirt. As I watched the bowl come into being, I felt tears prick my eyes. I felt silly for crying at something so simple, but it wasn’t so simple after all. A bowl materialized from my bare hands, all because I didn’t quit.

Quitting(( This paragraph has wonderful reflection.)) is easy, and I’ve taken the easy road more times than I can count. But it ended the day of that ceramics class. If you leave clay untended, it will dry out and become useless. Before ceramics, I hadn’t been tending to myself. I grew dry, cracking under the weight of any external pressures. But my teacher taught me that a little more persistence, time, and effort can yield something beautiful and useful.

When my bowl was done, I carried it to the shelf to be fired. The instructor explained that she’d put our projects in the kiln, and we could pick them up at our next class. I returned the following week and saw my bowl sitting on my wheel. It was imperfect but sturdy, messy yet intricate. It was exactly right. I set it aside and grabbed another block of clay, foot hovering over the pedal(( This conclusion ties up the essay with a bow. It calls back to the beginning and emphasizes that the writer will keep overcoming whatever obstacles arise.)) .

AO Notes on The Bowl that Taught Me Not to Quit

In this essay, the writer goes on a journey learning to do ceramics. We see that they experience failure but can learn from it. Their strengths of creativity and resilience shine through.

• Positive spin: Writing college essays about challenges is difficult because it’s easy to get wrapped up in hardship. But this essay does a great job moving on from the failure and focusing on the lessons learned.
• Explaining an underwhelming resume: It happens so quickly that you might miss it if you blink, but this writer very subtly explains why they don’t have many resume items . Accounting for an insufficient resume in this way comes across as taking responsibility rather than making excuses. We also see that the writer has learned from these challenges and is moving forward in a new direction.

Example #4: ENFP

Common App Prompt #6

“You know how whenever you want to plan out your weekend there are too many fun things to do and too many people to do them with? And how it’s impossible to commit to doing anything next Saturday, let alone next month? What if something even more exciting comes up? Ugh!”

“I have literally no idea what you’re talking about. That sounds stressful.”

My friend’s response confused me.

“Stressful!? It’s fun! And stressful. But mostly fun.”

We’ve all had realizations that remind us we are not the same as the people around us(( After that fun introduction, this sentence brings our attention directly to the main point of the essay.)) . Our brains and our tendencies are ours, and they aren’t necessarily shared by others–even close friends and family.

This conversation was one of those times. I was a sophomore and truly did not consider that my peers would follow routines, carefully planning out their weekends while I relied on vibes, group texts, and parental reminders of homework to get me through. Every day is a new experience and I wake up energized for the excitement of a new beginning. Fun, right?

Apparently, some people find my way stressful.

The first week of junior year, my English teacher surprised us with a test. Not an academic one–she administered the Myers Briggs Type Indicator. I didn’t know what that meant, but she explained it was a personality assessment. Then she looked directly at me and pointed.

“YOU! YOU are an ENFP!”

I’d been called a lot of things, but this was a new one. She was absolutely certain that this string of meaningless letters described me. As if anyone could possibly define me!

Sure enough, I took the assessment and got my results. E-N-F-P. Extraverted-iNtuitive-Feeling-Perceiving. I learned that each variable was one of two possibilities that describe people’s preferences about how they interact with their external and internal world. Each person exists on a spectrum between each set of variables.

I was pretty extreme on all four. Suddenly, I understood why people said I had a “big personality”.

This was just the start of my journey into psychology to better understand myself and others(( This paragraph ties together the personality test story with the writer’s personal journey of seeing the world through new perspectives.)) . I knew I was an extrovert–that was the easy one. But now I felt like I had language to explain why my arguments in debate were naturally grounded in emotion (common for Feeling types) rather than the data of a Thinker. I understood why my Judgment (J, rather than P) friends couldn’t stand my inability to commit to a plan. I needed to Perceive all of my options before committing to just one of them.

I delved into writers, psychologists, and researchers like Adam Grant, Dan Pink, Malcolm Gladwell, and Gretchen Rubin. I even embraced my own (very ENFP) preference to listen to their audiobooks rather than read in quiet solitude. I listen to books with one ear bud in while walking around my small town. That way I can learn while staying open to meeting a new friend, stopping by a shop, or petting a cute dog.

My INTJ friend didn’t understand how I could listen to a book while actively striking up conversations with strangers. To each their own.

Part of learning about myself was understanding that I love to learn about how people think and form habits. What works for one person doesn’t necessarily work for another. That is true for planning a weekend, maintaining relationships, or even writing a college essay.

I want to study psychology (and about 100 other subjects) and create a career where I can help people understand themselves and build positive habits around who they are(( I like how the writer connects these relations to their academic and career goals.)) , rather than try to change themselves to fit the expectations of others. Sure, maybe that will lead me to become a psychologist. But I think teachers, doctors, writers, and business leaders have an opportunity to do this as well.

All I know for sure is that, just like each new day, college is the next adventure. I’m excited to see what happens.

AO Notes on ENFP

Most of us know about personality tests, but this writer is able to make the topic a deeply personal one. We learn about their personality and habits. We learn about how they interact with others. Overall, the topic really helps us see the world from their perspective.

• Creative topic: The topic itself isn’t one an admissions officer will see every day. But it’s not so out-there that it comes across as hokey.
• Perspective: Admissions officers appreciate when students can see the world from perspectives other than their own. This writer shows a lot of maturity when explaining how their personality test sparked a realization that they don’t see the world the same way their friends do.
• Connections to future goals: The writer doesn’t just present the topic without speaking to its greater meaning. They show that personality tests are meaningful to them because they are related to an academic interest in psychology.

Example #5: Warhammer 40k Miniatures

Carefully(( This introduction has great vivid language.)) dipping the microscopic end of my horse hair brush into the pot of citadel paint, I can feel my excitement building. Gunmetal grey—my favorite primer color. Next comes the white and gold highlights that edge the armor. I'm about to bring one of my favorite Orcs to life, adding tactful details and shading to his green skin and menacing scowl. This is my passion, my obsession: painting Warhammer 40k miniatures.

Now, I’m well aware of the reputation Warhammer has—nerdy. As a tabletop miniature war game set in a dystopian future(( The writer subtly explains this hobby just in case admissions officers aren’t familiar with it.)) , players collect and paint miniatures to represent their armies. They then battle it out on a tabletop strewn with miniature trees, structures, and other terrains. I've been a fan of the game for years, but it's the painting that I love most. There’s something about taking a tiny, unpainted model and turning it into a work of art that I find incredibly satisfying. Nerd, guilty as charged.

I've always been drawn to the Orcs in particular, with their sheer strength and ferocity. But lately, I've been getting more into the Necrons, these ancient, robotic warriors that have been resurrected after millions of years of dormancy. And let's not forget the noble Tau, with their advanced technology and futuristic design. The story of each people goes deep, too. There are dozens of books written about the broader universe of Warhammer—a shared world that spans tens of thousands of years of lore. I’ve read almost every one of them. No matter the character I’m painting, no matter the story they’ll take place in, I watch in awe as each brushstroke brings the character to life in front of my eyes.

As my obsession with miniature painting has grown, I've started entering painting competitions(( This detail shows the magnitude and impact of the activity.)) . It's nerve-wracking showing off my work to a panel of judges, but it's also incredibly rewarding when they appreciate my hard work. I’ve received accolades and even small prizes for my artistry. After every competition, I choose my favorite miniature to display on a shelf in my room. I still have some of the earliest miniatures on my shelf, looking a little rough around the edges but still serving as a reminder of where I started.

But painting miniatures isn't just a hobby for me; it's also been a gateway for other forms of art. I've started dabbling in oil painting, using the same attention to detail and skillful brushwork that I use on my miniatures. While making the transition to a new medium has been challenging, I’ve slowly I’ve built a small collection of paintings. Some of them are as epic as my miniatures—depictions of battles and important moments from the 40k universe. But others are more tranquil, like a recent landscape I painted for my mom’s birthday of the stream behind our house(( We also learn how the writer’s obsession has expanded to other areas of their life. I like this detail because it’s an endearing story of the writer making art for their mom.)) . Becoming more dynamic with my art has made me a better artist, which has in turn made my miniatures even more lifelike.

Warhammer has been the biggest portal into a world of imagination and creativity. But it’s also unlocked my belief in myself as someone capable of succeeding in art(( And here it is—a central point of the essay. Painting these miniatures isn’t just about the miniatures. It’s also about the writer’s growth as an artist.)) . I’ve transcended the level of hobbyist and, over the years I’ve been painting, I’ve learned to call myself an artist. That title is a lot to carry, but it’s one that I can’t wait to continue growing into, figure by figure, painting by painting. And I can’t wait to bring the world of 40k to my dorm—sharing the universe with my friends and classmates. You’ll know where to find me. Just look for the nerdy artist with the dense wooden play table, toting around an army of skeletal warriors and hulking orcs. I can’t wait to share my world with you.

AO Notes on Warhammer 40k Miniatures

This essay is a great example of how to write about a hobby in a college essay. Notice how the writer explains their hobby in vivid detail, but the core of the essay is still about the writer themself.

• Vivid details: Personal statements can be wonderful exercises in creative writing. While that can be difficult for some students, this writer did it exactly right.
• Narrative structure: The writer seamlessly transitions readers between each paragraph. They slowly reveal how their journey has progressed. And, most importantly, they incorporate loads of good reflection.
• Personal meaning: It’s clear that Warhammer itself is meaningful to the writer. But I also like how they draw the focus inward to discuss how painting miniatures “unlocked” a belief in themself.

Example #6: The Band

Common App Prompt #5

I always imagined my band’s first show would take place on a stage. Maybe not in front of a packed amphitheater, but a stage. One with lights, a sound system, a curtain behind it, and some mixture of friends, family, and strangers ready to hear us play.

But there I was, holding a guitar in the women’s section of JC Penney at the mall(( This sentence is so unexpected that it’s sure to make most admissions officers stop, do a double take, and chuckle.)) . We fumbled through a cover of “Mr. Brightside” while middle-aged women shopped for sundresses.

Not exactly what I had in mind.

Our drummer’s mom managed the shoe section at JC Penney and said her boss wanted a creative way to get younger people excited about shopping there. She suggested that her son’s band would be perfect for this opportunity. They paid us in pizza and asked us to perform for two hours–a tall order for four high school sophomores who knew about five and a half songs.

It wasn’t evident to us that we would learn anything from our musical endeavors, or that our music would take us beyond the local mall. I’ve always known writing and performing pop-rock songs isn’t a likely career path. But a recent late night conversation with my bandmates-turned-best-friends showed us all how much we have grown and learned through music(( This reflection is great.)) . What started as a way to spend time with friends on a hobby turned into an accidental entrepreneurial venture and surprisingly poignant lessons.

For one thing, writing music with others is hard. Getting four new musicians to agree on everything from tempo to lyrics to how many verses each song should have isn’t easy. We figured it out as we went along, fueled by copious amounts of Mountain Dew and Bagel Bites.

We eventually created a system where each member learned the lyrics to each song and at least one other person’s part. Sharing original lyrics–poetry–between friends is uncomfortable. But we became more cohesive once everyone was on the same page with the story we were telling. When the bass player, who can’t play drums, learned just enough to understand that the kick drum hits on beats 1 and 3 and the snare on the 2 and 4, our rhythm section began to play more in sync. Once our drummer got over his fear of singing, we were able to incorporate simple harmonies, which led to him improving our lyrics.

Most surprising was making money and feeling like we were running a small (very small) business(( By expanding the focus to talk about music as a business venture, the writer also shows the extent of their activity’s impact.)) . Our second show after the infamous JC Penney incident was a battle of the bands at the public pool that June. We placed fourth–no prize. By August, we played another battle of the bands and won first place, largely thanks to our efforts to publicize the event to everyone in our network (some might call it begging our friends to come). To our surprise, we won $800 on one of those comically large checks.

We decided to allocate some of the money to equipment we needed–cables, cymbal stands, and more Bagel Bites–and put the rest towards professional recording. The process of contacting local studios, negotiating rates, and working with professionals in the industry was completely new to all of us.

A year before, we thought agreeing on lyrics was tough. But the sonic experience of hearing your own music back and agreeing on the tone and effects of every instrument can bring out differences you didn’t know existed. I’d read about arguments between bands from the Beatles to Kings of Leon, and now the four of us had to work out our differences together in real time. Thankfully, we navigated that challenge without losing our sanity for more than a few brief moments.

I am grateful for the lessons we have learned over the past three years(( And with this conclusion, the writer really drives home the essay’s main theme.)) . Not only do we have music and memories to show for our efforts, but we have all learned about creative collaboration, budgeting, and marketing our art.

AO Notes on The Band

This essay makes me want to sing! It’s full of personality, but it still manages to be vulnerable and reflective. By the conclusion , we really see what the writer has learned from being in a band.

• Humor: The writer immediately draws us in with an introduction that is funny, surprising, and full of personality. The introduction alone makes me want to keep reading. And right as we’re through the introduction, the writer drives home their main point: they learned a lot through music. Then, to our delight, the humor continues throughout. It’s subtle enough to keep our attention and not be overwhelming or inauthentic.
• Strengths: I can see that the writer is very collaborative and entrepreneurial. I also like how they give insight into their relationship with their friends and bandmates—we learn a lot about them through their interactions with others.
• Accomplishments: This essay is a solid example of how to write about accomplishments in a personal and meaningful way. The writer could have just opened with the accomplishments, but that wouldn’t have been very interesting or vulnerable. By nesting those accomplishments within a broader story about music, the writer is able to convey greater meaning.

Good Common App Essay Examples

If you’re feeling intimated by all the outstanding essays you’ve seen online, fear not. You don’t have to have a Pulitzer to get into college.

What you do need is a good, meaningful essay, even if it’s not perfect. The essays in this section represent what the majority of Common App essays look like. They aren’t necessarily perfect, but they’re written strategically and with verve. You can tell that their writers genuinely care about the essay they’ve been tasked with.

Putting in a similar effort with your own Common App essay will get you far. Let’s take a look.

Example #7: Herb

I stood in the dimly lit garage, staring at the child-sized pile of metal and wires in front of me. I couldn't help but feel a sense of awe. This was our creation(( This introduction reveals the product of the journey the writer is about to go on: building a robot.)) , a robot that my father and I had spent months designing and building with meticulous care.

It all started on a slow Sunday afternoon, when my dad suggested we take on a new project. He wanted to build a robot. At first, I was hesitant. I was skeptical that we had the know-how to even construct the body of the robot, much less one that actually worked. But my dad, a tinkerer and inventor, was determined to try. So we got everything set up in the garage and got to work. As it turns out, building a robot wouldn’t just improve our technical abilities. It would bring us closer together along the way.

Before this project, my dad and I tended to argue and disagree(( I appreciate this clear transition and description of the “before” state that the writer and their father are growing from.)) . But in the garage with our robot materials, we were both so invested in building the robot that we collaborated perfectly. We bounced ideas off each other, read books and online forums, and even got advice from friends who were more experienced in robotics. For what seemed like the first time, my dad thought of me as an equal. Usually I was just there to hand him wrenches and screwdrivers as he worked on his latest creation. This time was different. We were a team. And with each passing day, our robot began to come alive.

We spent months in the garage, building and troubleshooting. My dad worked on the mechanics. He carefully assembled the joints and servos that would give the robot its movement. While he did that, I focused on the design. I drew mock-ups on my iPad and researched different exterior materials to use. I clumsily constructed our prototypes before my dad helped me put all the pieces together.

The final result was a beautiful machine. It was almost four feet tall and towered over our family dog. And it actually worked. The exterior gleamed—the sensors we used added visual flair and extreme function. But the most impressive aspect of our robot was its artificial intelligence system, which we had spent weeks programming and refining together. It was still fairly rudimentary as far as robots go, but we were proud of such a major accomplishment.

We decided to name our creation Herb, after my father’s beloved herb garden. We liked the irony of mixing a machine with a garden. He was perfect.

After working on him for months, it was time to enter Herb into a local show for machine enthusiasts. Our entry was accepted(( This detail also shows the magnitude of their accomplishment.)) . The show will take place next spring, so my dad and I are polishing Herb’s exterior, tweaking bugs that arise in his artificial intelligence, and preparing him for his out-of-garage debut.

While I’m proud that we will finally get to show Herb off to the world, what I’m more proud of is how far my father and I have come. Working on Herb brought us closer together, and the process helped my dad see me as a fellow tinkerer and inventor rather than just an assistant. In our garage, as we constructed something entirely un-human, we found the human in ourselves. Our father-son love came to life through a robot. I wouldn’t trade it for anything(( I really like this poetic conclusion that neatly ties together the essay’s theme.)) .

AO Notes on Herb:

This essay is an endearing story about how the writer’s relationship with their father improved while working on a robot together. We learn a lot about the student and their interests as we accompany them on this journey.

What makes this essay good:

• Organization: There’s some back and forth with narrative and reflection in this essay that gives it a pretty complex structure. But the writer does an awesome job keeping readers on track by using very clear signposting. Phrases like “before this project” and “after working on him for months” help readers navigate the complexity.
• Reflection: The writer incorporates great reflection throughout. The third paragraph shows us the “before state” that the writer is growing from, and by the end of the essay, we really see where they’ve ended up mentally, emotionally, and personally.

What the writer could do to level up:

• More focus on the writer : While this essay isn’t too bad about this, there is some room for improvement. The main descriptive parts of the essay all focus on the robot. We do learn about the writer and their goals through these descriptions. But the essay is approaching being too much about the robot and not enough about the writer.

Example #8: Laughter & Acceptance

"Why was the transgender person so bad at math? Because they always had to trans-late equations!"

Okay, okay, that was a terrible joke. But let me tell you, finding self-acceptance as a transgender person ain't no joke. It's a struggle, a battle, a war. But it's a war that can be won, and I'm here to tell you how(( From the start, we get a clear sense of the writer’s personality. This sentence also tells us exactly what the essay is about.)) .

I grew up in a world that told me being trans was wrong, that it was something to be ashamed of. And I believed it. I tried to hide who I was, to pretend like I was someone else. But it was like trying to fit a square peg into a round hole. It just didn't work.

But then something happened. I don't know what it was—maybe a shift in the universe, maybe a sign from God. But something changed, and I realized that I couldn't keep living a lie. I had to be true to myself, regardless of what misery and consequences that might bring down around my head.

After telling my younger sister, who cried tears of joy and support, bless her, I decided to come out to the rest of my family. Let me tell you, it was not pretty. They didn't understand what I meant. They told me I was going to hell, that I was a disgrace to our family. And it hurt, oh man it hurt. But through the pain I saw a glimmer of something—was that hope?(( The writer does an excellent job reflecting and taking the “more phoenix, less ashes” approach.)) For the first time, I was being honest with myself and with the world. The whips and lashes of my parents’ words were more painful than I could have anticipated, but I left the room with my head held up and a barely-perceptible feeling of lightness around my shoulders.

And that's when the real work began. See, coming out is one thing, but accepting yourself is another. It's not easy, trust me. It's like trying to walk on a tightrope, one wrong step and you're a gonner. But I didn't give up, I kept going.

And you know what? It started to get easier. I started to find people who accepted me for who I was, who supported me and loved me. I started to feel confident in my own skin. And it was a good feeling—a great feeling. The best feeling.

But my life isn’t all sunshine and rainbows. There are still moments every day when I feel down, when the weight of the world feels like it's crushing me. But even in those moments, I've learned to find strength in myself, to remind myself that I am worthy and deserving of love and respect.

And that's what self-acceptance is all about. No one can avoid feeling sad, angry, or frustrated all the time. But if those feelings only crop up now and again? You’re doing pretty good. Most of all, it’s about letting those negative emotions pass when they come, roll over you like a wave before they go on their way. It's about laughing at the absurdity of it all(( With this philosophy, we really see how much the writer has grown.)) , and finding joy and humor in the midst of the pain.

So, dear reader(( Addressing your reader in a college essay is a pretty risky stylistic choice that we would generally advise against.)) , if you're struggling with self-acceptance, you're not alone. I’m there with you. And remember: it's okay to laugh at yourself, to find the humor in the situation. It's not always easy, but it's worth it. Because when you can accept yourself, you can be proud of who you are, and that's something to be truly grateful for. Tell a joke about yourself and laugh it off. You’ll feel better, I promise(( I like these sentiments, but they could be more focused on the writer instead of the reader.)) .

AO Notes on Laughter & Acceptance

This essay does a wonderful job maintaining sight of the writer’s strengths and positivity in light of really tough challenges. The writer isn’t afraid to be vulnerable. Because of that, we learn a lot about them.

• Authenticity : I’d guess that this essay couldn’t have been written by anyone other than its writer. Its voice is so clear and authentic that I truly feel like the writer is talking straight to me. Since Common App essays are one of the only places where you get to speak straight to an admissions officer, authenticity is key.
• Positivity : Let’s face it. This essay is about a really serious topic that was clearly challenging for the writer. But what makes it so great is that in spite of all the challenges, the writer is able to find positivity and light. They don’t dwell on the hardships but look forward to the future. That’s exactly what a college essay about a challenging topic should do.
• Tone : Balancing your personal tone and voice with the conventions of Common App essay writing can be tricky. It’s hard to predict how an admissions officer will react to what you write. Some might love the fact that this essay truly sounds like the student who wrote it, while others might be put off by its informality. The writer could clean up just a few areas of informal language to play it a little safer.

Example #9: The Old iPhone

Common App Prompt #3

I unscrewed the tiny Phillips-head screws and wedged open my iPhone 5. I cringed as the material cracked out of place. Despite my nervousness, I felt curious. I had always been fascinated by technology and machines, but this was the first time I had ever taken apart a device as complex as an iPhone.

And it wasn’t just any iPhone. It was my very first—my most prized possession until I bought my new phone a few months ago. Since then, it had been sitting in the back of my desk drawer, collecting dust and taking up space. I just didn’t have the heart to sell, recycle, or trade it in. On a day when my ADHD was particularly affecting me, I decided to tinker with my phone to calm myself down.

Working with machines and technology had become my biggest strategy for dealing with my ADHD on those difficult days(( This is an excellent transition.)) . I was diagnosed with ADHD when I was thirteen. I’d been struggling to pay attention in class, and my teachers and parents thought it would be best to get me tested. After I started taking medication, my symptoms improved a lot. But the whole process made me feel like something was off about the way my brain worked naturally. That’s why on the days my medication just isn’t cutting it I center myself by playing with machinery and technology. Even though I can’t fully understand my brain, I can understand a machine. Sometimes that knowledge is enough to get me back on track.

At my desk while disassembling the phone, I carefully removed each piece and set them aside on a bathroom hand towel beside me. I felt calm and focused. As someone with ADHD, it can be difficult for me to concentrate on a single task. But with every part I removed, my mind grew more and more focused. I didn’t feel pulled to passing thoughts and distractions like I normally do.

Working on the phone was like meditating. The parts were so small and delicate that it took all of my attention not to lose or break any. As I examined each component, I thought about all the hard work that goes into designing, manufacturing, and selling the millions of iPhones sold each year.

Taking apart the iPhone improved my technical knowledge, but it was more than that. It also helped me to understand my own mind in a new way(( This is an important shift back to the writer’s own experience. If it weren’t here, the essay would be too much about the iPhone and not enough about the writer.)) . While working my way through this small but magnificent machine, I realized that I could think of my own brain as a kind of machine. It has a complex network of circuits and pathways that control my thoughts and actions. It requires energy to work. It is made up of smaller components that allow it to function. I can’t tinker around with my brain, but I can appreciate it for the incredible machine that it is. I just need to learn more about how my brain works and adapt accordingly.

In many ways, my ADHD has always felt like a kind of malfunction, like something is wrong with me. But as I took apart the iPhone, I began to see that even the most advanced technology isn’t perfect—there’s dust and glitches and grime and bugs. And just as Apple does software updates and new product releases to improve the iPhone, I can find ways to improve how I function with my own brain(( With this comment, the essay ends on a very positive and hopeful note—exactly what you want in a college essay. )) .

AO Notes on My Old iPhone

In this essay, the writer describes how tinkering with an iPhone affected their personal journey with ADHD. I especially like how the writer takes two quite different topics and weaves them together seamlessly.

• Creative take: The core of this essay topic is a good one. The writer uses a hobby to talk about a deeper personal topic they’re wrestling with. As a result, we learn quite a bit about both.
• Strengths: We always say that you should write your college essays around core strengths. This writer does exactly that. As readers, we can tell that the writer is a problem-solver. They figured out a way to help themselves when their medication wasn’t working, and they also used that activity to do some reflection.
• Personal meaning: The writer could have just written about how they tinker with machines to help with their ADHD. But they went beyond that. They reflect more deeply on what the experience of having ADHD means to them.
• More connections: This essay is quite good. But as a reader, I’m still left wondering why the writer is drawn to tinkering and machines in the first place. It seems like there is room for the student to write a bit more about how the activity resonates with them personally.

Example #10: My Partner in Music

Built from a dark, mocha-colored wood and strung with the best strings my mom could afford, my viola has been with me through a lot. The first time I held the instrument in my hands, I knew it was made just for me. Sure, my viola had had previous owners. But they were only caring for it until it made its way home. My instrument is who I spend the most time with, who I know the closest, and who I’ve invested so much time in. With my viola, I’ve experienced my greatest accomplishments.

I come from a family of prodders rather than pushers(( This paragraph and the following dive too deeply into the writer’s past without making clear why the information is necessary to the narrative.)) . My loved ones have never pushed me to do anything, but I’ve been prodded in certain directions. At a mere year old, I began swim lessons. At age two, I took up soccer. At two and a half, I experimented with gymnastics. None of those activities ever stuck. But my true calling came at age three when my parents started me on viola lessons.

At first, I struggled to even hold my tiny, almost toy-like viola in place. Barely able to hold my own fork for dinner, I wrestled to place my fingers correctly on the fingerboard. When it was finally time for me to use my bow, it kept falling under its own weight, my small arm not strong enough to balance it.

But I was enthralled by the sounds I was able to make. I watched in awe as my teacher conjured up the most beautiful music I’d ever heard from her instrument. Unlike swimming, soccer, and gymnastics, music made sense to me. The ability to make something so engaging from wood and metal captured my attention.

When I got my new instrument, I had been playing the viola for exactly twelve years. Between the age of three and fifteen, my skills had grown exponentially. All those nights and weekends practicing, the blisters, and the hours and hours of lessons had paid off.

This past year, I earned a spot in the American Youth Symphony, one of the most prestigious youth symphonies in the world(( It’s not until this paragraph that we get to the heart of the essay: the writer’s big accomplishment, and the challenges they overcome to get there.)) . With the symphony’s minimum age of fifteen and average age in the early twenties, I’m one of the youngest musicians in the ensemble.

It wasn’t always so clear that playing viola was my destiny. When I was a sophomore in high school, I auditioned for my regional youth symphony. I had practiced my solo for months. I had played the piece so many times that it practically became part of me. With an imaginary metronome ticking away inside of me, my fingers knew exactly how to race across my strings, and my bow hand followed along in perfect time.

When it came time for my regional orchestra audition, however, the song completely vanished. I walked up to the stage, judges behind a partition. I sat down, brought my viola up to my chin, and froze. What had been muscle memory evaporated into thin air, and I was left with a blank mind and a silent instrument. I panicked, unsure of what to do.

I stared down at the scroll of my instrument and took a deep breath. We had played this piece a thousand times. We were ready. Most importantly, I wasn’t doing this alone. My viola and I were in it together. I raised my bow to the strings and began. The song emerged from my fingers, bow, and instrument. It was beautiful. It was perfect. That audition earned me regional first chair, and I learned a valuable lesson: I have to believe in myself(( And here we get to the theme of the essay. It’s not just about the viola. It’s about the writer—a musician.)) .

Now, as a member of the American Youth Symphony, I return to this lesson every day. It’s easy to get intimated when you’re playing alongside the country’s best young musicians. But, with my viola in hand, I know that I am a musician, too.

AO Notes on My Partner in Music

This writer tells us about their prized instrument. But the essay isn’t just about the instrument. It’s about the writer. The essay does an excellent job detailing a challenge the writer overcame. By the end, we see that the writer has grown and has achieved a huge accomplishment.

• Contextualizing a great achievement: The writer’s strengths shine through in this essay because of their achievement. But throughout the essay, we also see that the writer has had to work hard to get to where they’re at today. That context adds great dimension to our understanding of them.
• Voice: Through all the events that happen in this essay, the writer’s voice remains consistent. They have a solid tone that shows their work ethic and unwillingness to give up.
• Get to the main idea quicker: Notice how the first few paragraphs of this essay are simple setup. We learn a lot about who the student was as a child before we get to the heart of the essay. The central conflict doesn’t come until almost the last paragraph. In general, college essays should be primarily about things that have happened in your life since starting high school. Brief mentions of previous events are fine, but they take up a touch too much space in this essay. It takes a while for us, the readers, to really see what the essay is about.

Example #11: The Laundromat

As the son of Chinese immigrants, I grew up working in my parents' laundromat(( Sometimes straightforward “statement” hooks work. This one does the job well.)) . It wasn't glamorous, but it was a good way to earn some extra money and help out my family. Over the years, I got to know a lot of the regulars who came in to use the machines. Some were friendly, some were angry, and some were just plain weird. But one thing they all had in common was that they had stories to tell. And I learned from every single one of them.

There was Mrs. Nguyen, an older Vietnamese woman who came in every week with a small load of clothes. She always greeted me warmly and snuck me a hard strawberry candy. We mostly talked about me—my schoolwork, friends, and sports. But one day, she opened up. She told me about her experiences fleeing Vietnam in the aftermath of the war. She described the dangers she faced and the sacrifices she made to keep her family safe. I was stunned that someone I had grown so close to had experienced such a challenge. What shocked me most was Mrs. Nguyen’s kindness in spite of everything she had been through. Before learning this about Mrs. Nguyen, I let small problems like late homework and friend arguments really upset me. But hearing her story put things into perspective for me, and I’m so grateful that she felt comfortable enough to share it with me(( Perspective: always a good lesson to learn. This example shows some good maturity.)) .

Carlos came every Tuesday and Thursday. He was a thirteen-year-old who always seemed to be practicing for the spelling bee. He went to my sister’s school and was shy and quiet. But after seeing him multiple times a week, I learned that he was also incredibly smart and dedicated. He would come into the laundromat with a stack of flashcards and a dictionary, looking for somewhere quiet to practice. He’d close his eyes and mouth the letters to himself before peeking to see if he was right. After months of watching him, I finally went up to him and offered to help(( With this “show, not tell” example, we see our writer exhibiting generosity and kindness. I also like the humor and personality in the following two sentences.)) . I started quizzing him on words that I couldn’t even really pronounce myself. I relied heavily on his dictionary! But after practicing together, Carlos won his school spelling bee and eventually went on to regionals. I was so proud of him. I learned that it if you want to succeed, you have to put in the work like Carlos did. Every time I think of quitting something, I remind myself of his determination, and I keep going.

And finally, there was Gary, a nurse who worked in the emergency room at our local hospital. He was always rushing through his laundry because of his busy schedule, but he was never too busy to sit down and talk with us kids. Gary inspired my interest in pursuing medicine. He told me countless stories about what he saw in the ER. But what I always appreciated most was when he would explain the science behind what was happening. Gary was a talented teacher who could always break down complex concepts into something even a kid could understand. By my junior year, Gary encouraged me to take AP Chemistry and Biology and now he’s helping me look at pre-medicine programs(( Nice—we get some background about the student’s academic interests.)) . Gary has sparked in me an interest in caring for people through medicine.

I could have chosen to ignore all these people and hide away in the back of the laundromat. But instead I chose to talk with them, even though it was sometimes scary and intimidating. Being around so many people, hearing all their stories, it’s really shown me that everyone has a story to tell. More importantly, everyone can learn from those around them. I wouldn’t be who I am today without the regulars at the laundromat, and I hope I inspired them in some way too.

AO Notes on The Laundromat

In this classic “understanding self through others” essay, we get to know the writer through their interactions with others. The writer does a pretty good job walking the (sometimes dangerous) line between saying too much about others and not enough about themself.

• Personality: One of the best parts of “understanding self through others” essays is that we get to see who the writer is without them having to tell us. Through each of these small interactions, the writer—and their personality, values, beliefs—shines through.
• Maturity: This writer shows several strengths. I think one of the most salient is their maturity. The way they were able to learn from Mrs. Nguyen, help Carlos, and be inspired by Gary took a lot of maturity. As an AO, that would tell me that this student is ready for the college classroom.
• Connection to academic interests: Not all personal essays need to connect to an academic interest. Most probably don’t. But it was a natural connection for this writer, and I’m glad they made it. It raises the stakes of their interactions and leads beautifully into their conclusion.
• Streamline: With the three different examples, the essay reads a bit choppy. The writer could put better transitions in between each person, or they could weave the examples together into a cohesive narrative. Streamlining would also help emphasize the essay’s focus on the writer rather than the laundromat patrons.

“Bad” Common App Essay Examples

Okay, these essays aren’t necessarily “bad” as essays. But if we’re being honest, they’re not great Common App essays either.

That doesn’t mean that they don’t have the potential to become great Common App essays, though. As you’ll see in the notes from our Admissions Officers, these essays contain the seeds of good essays. They just need some reorganization and refinement.

Let’s take a look.

Example #11: What I’ve Learned About Life

We all know that life is short so you have to make the most of it. I always try to do my best and live every day to the fullest(( These sentences are both cliches. It’s always better to hook readers in with your own words.)) . Well, I did that until I broke my arm in 8th grade. I used to be not afraid to do anything, but it turns out that’s what got me in trouble. I was riding my bike home from school one day and saw a stump. I thought about what we talked about in English class that day. It was something about “carpe diem” and so I decided, “You know what? I’m gonna jump that stump.”(( This story makes for a good concrete example.)) And I did. Almost. My bike tire caught on the stump and flipped me over the handle bars. A bystander had to help me call my mom to take me to the hospital and it was fractured in four places pretty bad it actually hurt a lot. So after that I still learned to live every day to the fullest but I also learned that you need to make good decisions when doing so.

My mom always tells me that I need to be more patient because it’s a virtue and I am not patient at all. But I have decided that the most important thing to me is to try hard no matter what. I’ll work until the ends of the earth to prove myself because those who work hard succeed. So when I realized that I tried to listen to my mom. Now when I get impatient I take a deep breath and remember my goal of being successful and sometimes it is hard to be patient and I can get angry or frustrated but then I think about what my mom said. It’s a virtue and I want to be as virtuous as possible. My mom has worked so hard in this life to give me a better life and all I want to do is make her proud(( These are fantastic sentiments that could be drawn out more clearly.)) . I really think that’s what it means to be a good person. I’ll always work hard so I can be successful and she can watch me shine.

AO Notes on What I’ve Learned About Life

This essay, while short, gives an honest effort at conveying something deeply meaningful. I especially like the very last sentence, which tells us a lot about who the writer is as a person. But there are a few areas this essay could improve.

What this essay does well:

• Authenticity: It’s clear that the writer is discussing something very meaningful. I have no doubt that these lessons have played a big role in their life.

What could be improved on:

• Too short: The maximum word count for the Common Application essay is 650 words. We like to encourage students to get to at least 80% of the word count, which means that your Common App essays should be at least 520 words. This essay is only 361.
• The topic is too vague and full of generalities: The writer is communicating something meaningful about what they’ve learned throughout their life, but they do so only through generalities. Being too vague makes it hard for admissions officers to see who you really are. Instead, the writer could use concrete experiences and reflect specifically on how those experiences impacted them.

Example #12: Clean Slate

Common App Prompt #7

Bubbles, foam, and the sweet smell of chemicals. Shiny surfaces free of streaks and grime. I cleaned the entire house in three hours flat. I never really learned how to clean growing up, but I started seeing cleaning videos online. The cleaning videos always relax me, so I thought I’d give it a try(( This shows the writer’s initiative.)) .

First I needed to figure out what kinds of supplies to buy. After watching a few more videos, I made a list of the most commonly used items. Since I was on a limited budget, so I could only get the basics. I turned to coupons to find the best bargains possible. I bought disinfectant, a multi-purpose cleaner, and a window and mirror spray. I also found a mop, sponges, and a scrubber brush. It all cost me only fifteen dollars!

My family was shocked when I came home with these supplies in a shopping bag. They didn’t understand why I cared so much. We vacuumed and used disinfectant wipes every so often to keep things manageable, but none of us knew that you are supposed to deep clean your house every month or so until I told everyone based on what I saw online. I showed them each product I bought and told them what the purpose of each one was. They were proud of me for taking initiative and learning something new. They also couldn’t wait to see the results.

Then it was time for me to get to work. To strike inspiration, I put on another cleaning video in the background. I began with the bathroom. It was tidy, but it sure wasn’t clean. There was dust on all the surfaces, soap scum, and rust. I grabbed the disinfectant spray first because it has to sit for a while to actually disinfect. Then I used the mirror spray to clean toothpaste off the mirror. I scrubbed all the surfaces with my new sponge until they were squeaky clean. Then I moved on to the floors. My mop is a spray mop, so it was a quick job.

Next I moved on to the kitchen. That was much harder because it was more complex. There are several appliances, dishes to do, and food to put away. I wiped down the cabinets, which had a dark grime that you couldn’t even see before. I felt accomplished because I was actually cleaning. Once the kitchen was done, I moved on to the living room and the bedrooms. It took forever, but I did it(( By this point, we should have some more reflection from the writer about why this story is personally meaningful.)) .

I gave my family a tour around the house, showing them all the nooks and crannies I had cleaned. They were impressed and I felt so proud. I stood back, admiring my work. The house glistened like a diamond with cleanliness.

The next day I got up and decided to take a look around, excited to see my handiwork again. I was in shock when I stepped into the kitchen. It was a disaster. There was food and dishes everywhere. I ran to the bathroom. It wasn’t any better. There were dirty clothes and an open toothpaste tube. The baseboards already had a small bit of dust. I was devastated. All my hard work was gone just like that.

I told my family how upset I was. They understood and said that they would try to be better next time. But I also learned that that’s just how cleaning goes. You can try to keep things tidy, but we actually live in this house and sometimes that means making a mess. I hugged my family members and felt better after their apology(( I really like the picture we get of the writer here. I can tell that they are very mature and thoughtful!)) . We made up, they picked up a few things to pitch in, and I put my cleaning supplies back in the closet until next time.

AO Notes on Clean Slate

In this essay, we go on a cleaning journey with the writer. We see their successes and disappointments. We learn a bit about their family background, and we cheer them on as they overcome challenges.

• Writing and organization: This essay is well-written, and the narrative easily holds a reader’s interest. There’s a good sense of the plot, and the paragraphs are clearly organized and easy to read through.
• Strengths: We really see the writer’s initiative through this story. They did their research, got their supplies, and put their interest into action.
• More significance: While this is a fun topic, it doesn’t convey much meaning about the writer’s life. The writer could make the topic more significant by adding more reflection throughout to show explicitly how this story has changed them as a person. Or they could select a different topic that relates to something more deeply meaningful about their life.

Key Takeaways

Hopefully these Common App essay examples have shown you what to do (and what not to do). More importantly, we hope that the commentary from our former admissions officers has helped you analyze the why behind what makes an effective Common App essay.

Absorbing these lessons and applying them to your own Common Application essay will help take your writing to the next level. No matter what you write about, your goal should be to create a seamless application narrative that speaks to your strengths.

If you’re not sure what step to take next, we've got you covered. The Essay Academy — our comprehensive digital college essay course — walks you through every step. Plus, you can get personalized essay help for your own Common App essays. 

Liked that? Try this next.

How A Selective Admissions Office Reads 50k Applications In A Season

How to Write a College Essay (Exercises + Examples)

How to Write Supplemental Essays that Will Impress Admissions Officers

Leveling Up Your Extracurriculars (with examples!)

"the only actually useful chance calculator i’ve seen—plus a crash course on the application review process.".

Irena Smith, Former Stanford Admissions Officer

We built the best admissions chancer in the world . How is it the best? It draws from our experience in top-10 admissions offices to show you how selective admissions actually works.

No products in the cart.

Successful Common App Essays

Common app essays →, harvard essays →, mit essays →, princeton essays →, stanford essays →, yale essays →, common app essay | katie.

Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds…...

Common App Essay: Wooden Pulpits and Iron Podiums

#7:  Open-Ended Prompt Each time I dance I am becoming more of who I am. That is why I adore dance. It is one of…...

Common App Essay: A meaningful background, identity, interest, or talent | Grace

Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you,…...

Common App Essay: Recount an incident or time when you experienced failure | Jessica

The lessons we take from obstacles we encounter can be fundamental to later success. Recount a time when you faced a challenge, setback, or failure…....

Common App Essay | Discuss an accomplishment, event, or realization that sparked a period of personal growth | Valerie

Discuss an accomplishment, event, or realization that sparked a period of personal growth and a new understanding of yourself or others. 10:00 AM – Museum…...

Common App Essay | A meaningful background, identity, interest, or talent | Joseph

Report content, block member.

Please confirm you want to block this member.

You will no longer be able to:

• See blocked member's posts
• Mention this member in posts
• Message this member
• Add this member as a connection

Please note: This action will also remove this member from your connections and send a report to the site admin. Please allow a few minutes for this process to complete.

• [email protected]
• (650) 338-8226

Cupertino, CA

• Our Philosophy
• Our Results
• News, Media, and Press
• Common Application
• College Application Essay Editing
• Extracurricular Planning
• Academic Guidance
• Summer Programs
• Interview Preparation

Middle School

• Pre-High School Consultation
• Boarding School Admissions

College Admissions

• Academic and Extracurricular Profile Evaluation
• Senior Editor College Application Program
• Summer Program Applications
• Private Consulting Program
• Transfer Admissions
• UC Transfer Admissions
• Ivy League Transfer Admissions

Graduate Admissions

• Graduate School Admissions
• MBA Admissions

Private Tutoring

• SAT/ACT Tutoring
• AP Exam Tutoring
• Olympiad Training

Research Programs

• Science Research Program
• Humanities Competitions
• Passion Project Program
• Ad Hoc Consulting
• Athletic Recruitment
• National Universities Rankings
• Liberal Arts Colleges Rankings
• Public Schools Rankings

Acceptance Rates

• University Acceptance Rates
• Transfer Acceptance Rates
• Supplemental Essays
• College Admissions Data
• Chances Calculator
• GPA Calculator

National Universities

• College Acceptance Rates
• College Overall Acceptance Rates
• College Regular Acceptance Rates
• College Early Acceptance Rates
• Ivy League Acceptance Rates
• Ivy League Overall Acceptance Rates
• Ivy League Regular Acceptance Rates
• Ivy League Early Acceptance Rates

Public Schools

• Public Schools Acceptance Rates
• Public Schools Overall Acceptance Rates
• Public Schools Regular Acceptance Rates
• Public Schools Early Acceptance Rates

Liberal Arts

• Liberal Arts Colleges Acceptance Rates
• Liberal Arts Colleges Overall Acceptance Rates
• Liberal Arts Colleges Regular Acceptance Rates
• Liberal Arts Colleges Early Acceptance Rates

Common App Essay Examples

By Eric Eng

Applying for college is no small feat, with many different elements playing a crucial role in the success of your application. One of the most critical aspects of this process is the Common App essay. This essay is the place for you to showcase who you are beyond grades and test scores, and there’s no better way to understand what works than by exploring successful Common App essay examples.

It is your opportunity to tell your unique story in a way that makes a compelling case for why you would be a valued addition to a college’s community. But what makes for a successful Common App essay? Let’s dive in.

Understanding the Importance of a Common App Essay

The Common App essay carries significant weight in the college admissions process. It’s the platform through which applicants can express their personality, interests, and individual experiences that aren’t reflected in other parts of their applications.

When it comes to college admissions, the Common App essay is like a window into your soul. It’s your opportunity to go beyond the numbers and statistics that make up your academic profile. Through this essay, you have the chance to paint a vivid picture of who you are as a person, what drives you, and what makes you unique.

Imagine the admissions officers sitting in a room surrounded by stacks of applications. They have your grades, your test scores, and your extracurricular activities in front of them. But what they really want to know is: who are you? What makes you tick? What experiences have shaped you into the person you are today? The Common App essay is your chance to answer these questions and leave a lasting impression.

The Role of the Common App Essay in College Admissions

To begin with, the purpose of the Common App essay is to give college admissions committees a glimpse of who you are as a person, not just as a student. It allows you to humanize the other elements of your application. Admissions officers read these essays to understand your personality, values, character, and perspective on life.

Think of the Common App essay as a conversation starter. It’s your opportunity to engage the admissions officers in a meaningful dialogue about your life experiences and aspirations. Through your words, you can convey your passions, your dreams, and your unique perspective on the world.

Admissions officers are looking for authenticity. They want to see the real you, not a polished version of what you think they want to hear. So, don’t be afraid to be vulnerable and share your true thoughts and emotions. Remember, it’s your story that will captivate their attention and set you apart from the thousands of other applicants.

Key Elements of a Successful Common App Essay

A successful Common App essay is one that is deeply personal, reflective, and unique. It should convey your authentic voice, depict your character growth, and highlight your ability to deal with real-world situations. It should be evaluative rather than declarative, showcasing your introspection and capacity to learn from your experiences.

When crafting your essay, think about the moments in your life that have had a profound impact on you. Maybe it was a challenging situation that tested your resilience and determination. Or perhaps it was a moment of self-discovery that changed the course of your life. Whatever it may be, choose a topic that allows you to delve deep into your thoughts and emotions.

Remember, the goal is not just to tell a story but to reflect on its significance and how it has shaped you as an individual. Admissions officers want to see your growth and development over time. They want to know how you have learned from your experiences and how they have influenced your values and beliefs.

In conclusion, the Common App essay is a powerful tool that can make or break your college admissions journey. It’s your chance to showcase your personality, your passions, and your potential. So, take the time to craft a compelling essay that truly reflects who you are and what you can bring to the college community. Good luck!

Breaking Down the 7 Inspiring Common App Essay Examples

To illuminate these points, let’s delve into seven common app essay examples that demonstrate how students have successfully told their stories while addressing the essential elements mentioned above.

Example 1: Overcoming Personal Challenges

In this essay, the applicant discusses a life-changing personal challenge. They express how experiencing a significant hardship forced them to develop crucial coping strategies and shaped their perspective on resilience. The essay is powerful, demonstrating a profound level of introspection and resilience.

For instance, the applicant could delve into the specific details of the personal challenge they faced. They could describe the emotional rollercoaster they went through, from the initial shock and despair to the gradual process of finding strength and resilience. By sharing these intimate details, the applicant allows the reader to truly understand the depth of their experience and the transformative impact it had on their life.

Furthermore, the applicant could explore the coping strategies they developed during this challenging time. They could discuss how they sought support from friends and family, engaged in therapy or counseling, or turned to creative outlets such as writing or art. By highlighting these strategies, the applicant showcases their ability to adapt and overcome adversity, which is a valuable trait in any college applicant.

Example 2: Demonstrating Leadership Skills

This essay exhibits the applicant’s leadership skills, showing how they led a team to victory in a national competition. The narrative demonstrates tenacity, strategic thinking, and the capacity to inspire others.

In addition to describing the victory itself, the applicant could delve into the process of leading the team. They could discuss the challenges they faced, such as managing conflicting personalities or navigating unexpected obstacles. By sharing these details, the applicant not only showcases their leadership skills but also their ability to handle adversity and make tough decisions under pressure.

Furthermore, the applicant could reflect on the lessons they learned from this leadership experience. They could discuss how it shaped their understanding of teamwork, communication, and the importance of setting clear goals. By highlighting these insights, the applicant demonstrates their capacity for personal growth and their ability to apply their leadership skills in future endeavors.

Example 3: Showcasing Creativity and Originality

The third essay presents a highly original and creative narrative where the student effectively illustrates their unique worldview and creativity. This demonstration of originality brings the applicant’s personality to life, setting them apart in a sea of applicants.

To further showcase their creativity, the applicant could provide specific examples of how they have applied their unique perspective in various aspects of their life. They could discuss their involvement in art, music, or writing and how they have used these mediums to express their individuality and challenge conventional norms. By sharing these examples, the applicant not only demonstrates their creativity but also their ability to think outside the box and bring fresh ideas to the table.

Furthermore, the applicant could discuss the impact of their creativity on their community or peers. They could share stories of how their unique perspective has inspired others or sparked meaningful conversations. By highlighting these instances, the applicant showcases their ability to make a positive impact and contribute to a diverse and inclusive environment.

Example 4: Highlighting Community Service

This common app essay puts focus on the student’s extensive involvement in community service, providing concrete examples of projects they led and the impact they had. The narrative demonstrates empathy, dedication, leadership, and a strong commitment to community building.

In addition to describing the projects they led, the applicant could delve into the motivations behind their involvement in community service. They could discuss personal experiences or values that inspired them to give back to their community. By sharing these motivations, the applicant not only showcases their empathy and dedication but also their ability to connect their personal experiences to meaningful action.

Furthermore, the applicant could reflect on the lessons they learned from their community service experiences. They could discuss how these experiences shaped their understanding of social issues, teamwork, and the power of collective action. By highlighting these reflections, the applicant demonstrates their capacity for personal growth and their commitment to making a positive impact in the world.

Example 5: Expressing Passion for a Course of Study

In the fifth essay, the author professes a deep passion for their chosen field of study, engineering, weaving a narrative that traces their fascination from an early age through to the current day. This narrative spotlight on academically-related experiences sets the stage for the student’s future success in the academic field.

To further express their passion for engineering, the applicant could delve into specific projects or research they have undertaken in the field. They could discuss the challenges they faced, the innovative solutions they developed, and the impact of their work. By sharing these details, the applicant not only showcases their academic abilities but also their dedication and enthusiasm for their chosen field.

Furthermore, the applicant could reflect on the broader implications of their passion for engineering. They could discuss how their interest in the field extends beyond personal fulfillment and how they aspire to make a positive impact on society through their future career. By highlighting these aspirations, the applicant demonstrates their long-term commitment to their field of study and their desire to contribute to the greater good.

Example 6: Reflecting on Personal Growth

The applicant shows a compelling journey of personal growth in this essay. They outline how they evolved from a timid freshman to a confident leader in their senior year. This demonstration of growth and maturity can be a compelling narrative angle in a common app essay.

In addition to describing their personal growth, the applicant could delve into the specific experiences or challenges that contributed to their transformation. They could discuss moments of self-doubt, setbacks, or even failures that ultimately led to their personal growth. By sharing these vulnerable moments, the applicant not only showcases their resilience but also their ability to learn from adversity and emerge stronger.

Furthermore, the applicant could reflect on the lessons they learned from their personal growth journey. They could discuss how their newfound confidence and leadership skills have impacted their relationships, academic performance, or extracurricular activities. By highlighting these reflections, the applicant demonstrates their capacity for self-awareness and their ability to apply their personal growth in various aspects of their life.

Example 7: Discussing a Significant Life Experience

This essay showcases a powerful story about a life-altering experience that shaped the applicant’s world view. The student demonstrates their ability to take away profound insights from challenging experiences, leaving an impression of resilience, wisdom, and maturity.

To further discuss the significant life experience, the applicant could delve into the emotions they felt during that time. They could describe the initial shock or confusion, the process of coming to terms with the experience, and the eventual growth and healing. By sharing these emotional details, the applicant allows the reader to truly understand the depth of their experience and the transformative impact it had on their life.

Furthermore, the applicant could reflect on the lessons they learned from this life-altering experience. They could discuss how it shaped their values, their perspective on life, or their goals for the future. By highlighting these insights, the applicant demonstrates their capacity for personal growth and their ability to find meaning in challenging circumstances.

Tips for Writing Your Own Inspiring Common App Essay

Having analyzed these examples, it’s now time for you to get started on your own essay. Here are some tips to guide you.

Choosing the Right Topic

Choose a topic that genuinely excites you. Your authenticity and enthusiasm will shine through, making your essay captivating to read. Make sure it’s a topic that allows you to showcase growth, resilience, leadership, or other qualities that will make you a desirable candidate.

Structuring Your Essay Effectively

A well-structured essay is easier to read and delivers your message more effectively. Organize your essay in a way that smoothly guides the reader through your journey. An introduction that grabs the reader’s attention, a body that delves into your story, and a conclusion that ties it all together is a good formula to follow.

Using a Personal and Authentic Voice

Be yourself. Write in a voice that feels natural to you, and avoid trying to impress with big words or forced eloquence. Your unique personality and perspective should shine through. Readers appreciate authenticity and will feel more connected to your story if it’s told in your own way.

In summary, the Common App essay is a vital component of your college application. It is the space for you to convey who you are beyond your grades and scores, to show your growth, resilience, and what makes you unique. Use these tips and Common App essay examples as a guide, and let your unique voice shine through your authentic narrative.

Having all the necessary information is important before choosing any course of action. AdmissionSight is always here to assist you with any questions or concerns. We have more than ten years of expertise assisting students in successfully navigating the challenging admissions process.

Consult with AdmissionSight and find out what we can do to help you get into the school of your choice by ensuring that you are sufficiently aware and well-prepared for the application process.

Want to assess your chances of admission? Take our FREE chances calculator today!

Why College Admissions Isn’t Perfect

US News Rankings

The Personal Statement: The Holy Grail of College Admissions

The Modern Day 4.0 and 1600 SAT Score Student Is No Longer Impressive

The Competitive Nature of College Admissions for Asian Americans

The College Application

Our Comprehensive Approach

Ivy League Schools

How Early Should You Prepare for College?

Featured in US News & World Report Best Colleges Publication

Congratulations to AdmissionSight Students and their Acceptances!

College Rejection

College Rankings

College Consultants Could Make A Difference

College Admissions Scandal and Higher Education

Northwestern Legacy Acceptance Rate

University of Chicago Diversity Statistics: An Overview

UPenn Diversity Statistics: An Overview

Columbia Diversity Statistics: An Overview

Everything You Need to Know About National Merit Commended Scholar

Berkeley Diversity Statistics

The Best Pre-Vet Schools 

Yale Diversity Statistics: An Overview

MIT Diversity Statistics: A Closer Look

Where is UC San Diego Located?

Where is Tufts University located?

Where is UIUC located?

The Hardest High School Classes

10 College Essay Topics to Avoid

10 Easiest College Classes For A Stress-Free Semester

5 Ways to Make College Essays About Tragedy More Memorable

What is the Hardest Art School to Get Into?

Leave a comment cancel reply.

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment.

Recent Articles

University of Chicago Diversity Statistics:...

Everything You Need to Know...

MIT Diversity Statistics: A Closer...

Where is UC San Diego...

Sign up now to receive insights on how to navigate the college admissions process.

Admissions Counseling

• Academic & Extracurricular Profile Evaluation

Copyright © AdmissionSight 2024

Privacy Policy - Terms and Conditions

What are your chances of acceptance?

Calculate for all schools, your chance of acceptance.

Your chancing factors

Extracurriculars.

How to Write the UPenn Supplemental Essays 2023-2024

Founded in 1740 by Benjamin Franklin, the University of Pennsylvania is one of America’s eight Ivy League institutions. Its beautiful campus features unique red-and-green-brick buildings, gorgeous tree-lined paths, and lots of tributes to Ben Franklin. UPenn is known for its premier academics, but also for its thriving student life (it’s called “the social Ivy,” and has a strong Greek life).

UPenn also enjoys the benefits of being situated in the heart of Philadelphia, Pennsylvania — it’s just a stone’s throw from myriad museums, gardens, cathedrals, and historic sites, including Independence Hall. Students typically describe UPenn as having a highly “pre-professional” mindset, with a large cultural focus on internships, school jobs, and career preparation. All in all, it’s the perfect city refuge for ambitious, can-do students who want to maximize their college experience.

Composite Schools: Depending on their fields of study, students at UPenn will be applying to different colleges that make up the school. Undergraduate education at Penn is separated into four distinct schools: the School of Arts & Sciences, Wharton School of Business, the School of Engineering & Applied Sciences, and the School of Nursing. 

Admissions Rates and Resources: UPenn is a tiny bit easier to get into than more in-demand Ivies, but still enjoys a reputation of exclusivity. In its most recent admissions cycle, UPenn accepted 6% of undergraduate applicants. 

Now, onto the essays! Below, you can see a list of all the prompts we’re going to cover. All applicants must submit the two required essay prompts, listed first. Below these, we’ll break into the supplemental essays for various optional programs open to applicants. 

Read these UPenn essay examples to inspire your own writing.

UPenn Supplemental Essay Prompts 

All applicants.

Prompt 1: Write a short thank-you note to someone you have not yet thanked and would like to acknowledge. (We encourage you to share this note with that person, if possible, and reflect on the experience!) (150-200 words)

Prompt 2: How will you explore the community at Penn? Consider how this community will help shape your perspective and identity, and how your identity and perspective will help shape this community. (150-200 words)

School-Specific Prompts

College of Arts and Sciences: The flexible structure of The College of Arts and Sciences’ curriculum is designed to inspire exploration, foster connections, and help you create a path of study through general education courses and a major. What are you curious about and how would you take advantage of opportunities in the arts and sciences? (150-200 words)

School of Engineering and Applied Science: Penn Engineering prepares its students to become leaders in technology, by combining a strong foundation in the natural sciences and mathematics, exploration in the liberal arts, and depth of study in focused disciplinary majors. Please share how you hope to explore your engineering interests at Penn. (150-200 words)

School of Nursing: Penn Nursing intends to meet the health needs of society in a global and multicultural world by preparing its students to impact healthcare by advancing science and promoting equity. What do you think this means for the future of nursing, and how do you see yourself contributing to our mission of promoting equity in healthcare? (150-200 words)

The Wharton School: Wharton prepares its students to make an impact by applying business methods and economic theory to real-world problems, including economic, political, and social issues. Please reflect on a current issue of importance to you and share how you hope a Wharton education would help you to explore it. (150-200 words)

The Huntsman Program

The huntsman program supports the development of globally-minded scholars who become engaged citizens, creative innovators, and ethical leaders in the public, private, and non-profit sectors in the united states and internationally. what draws you to a dual-degree in business and international studies, and how would you use what you learn to make a contribution to a global issue where business and international affairs intersect (400-650 words), the digital media design program, why are you interested in the digital media design (dmd) program at the university of pennsylvania (400-650 words), the life sciences and management program.

Prompt 1: The LSM program aims to provide students with a fundamental understanding of the life sciences and their management with an eye to identifying, advancing and implementing innovations. What issues would you want to address using the understanding gained from such a program? Note that this essay should be distinct from your single degree essay. (400-650 words)

The Jerome Fisher Management and Technology Program

Prompt 1: Explain how you will use the M&T program to explore your interest in business, engineering, and the intersection of the two. (400-650 words)

Prompt 2: Describe a problem that you solved that showed leadership and creativity. (250 words)

The NETS Engineering Program

Describe your interests in modern networked information systems and technologies, such as the internet, and their impact on society, whether in terms of economics, communication, or the creation of beneficial content for society. feel free to draw on examples from your own experiences as a user, developer, or student of technology. (400-650 words), the nursing and healthcare management program, discuss your interest in nursing and health care management. how might penn’s coordinated dual-degree program in nursing and business help you meet your goals (400-650 words), the viper program, how do you envision your participation in the vagelos integrated program in energy research (viper) furthering your interests in energy science and technology please include any past experiences (ex. academic, research, or extracurricular) that have led to your interest in the program. additionally, please indicate why you are interested in pursuing dual degrees in science and engineering and which viper majors are most interesting to you at this time. (400-650 words), the bio-dental program.

Prompt 1:  Please list pre-dental or pre-medical experience. This experience can include but is not limited to observation in a private practice, dental clinic, or hospital setting; dental assisting; dental laboratory work; dental or medical research, etc. Please include time allotted to each activity, dates of attendance, location, and description of your experience. If you do not have any pre-dental or pre-medical experience, please indicate what you have done or plan to do in order to explore dentistry as a career. (250 words)

Prompt 2: Do you have relatives who are dentists or are in dental school? If so, indicate the name of each relative, his/her relationship to you, the school attended, and the dates attended. (250 words)

Prompt 3: Describe any activities which demonstrate your ability to work with your hands. (250 words)

Prompt 4: What activities have you performed that demonstrate your ability to work cooperatively with people? (250 words)

Prompt 5: Please explain your reasons for selecting a career in dentistry. Please include what interests you the most in dentistry as well as what interests you the least. (250 words)

All Applicants, Prompt 1

Write a short thank-you note to someone you have not yet thanked and would like to acknowledge. (we encourage you to share this note with that person, if possible, and reflect on the experience) (150-200 words).

As you’ve gone through high school, you’ve likely received help from all kinds of people. UPenn wants to give you a chance to practice gratitude and acknowledge a specific person who has positively impacted your high school journey. 

There are two main parts to this prompt: picking the person to thank and writing the note .

Who should you pick? Some commonly-influential folks include:

• Mentors or older students
• Family members
• Religious leaders
• Managers/bosses

If you’re having trouble thinking directly of people, you may want to consider thinking of experiences that shaped who you are and the person most directly involved in that . In fact, this may be more effective. There will probably be thousands of thank you notes written to parents, for example. This is great—no problem there—but execution matters. It’s too easy to fall into the trap of writing a generic note thanking this person for “supporting you no matter what” and for “believing in you.”

This brings us to part two of this prompt: writing the note. Instead of generic pleasantries, you want to share specific experiences where this person really made a difference in your life. How did they support you? How did they show they believed in you? How did this impact you? 

For example, say you want to thank your mother for her support. You might share how she woke up at 6am to run with you each day so you could get extra miles in and work towards your goal of making cross country states (while you didn’t make it, you did place in regionals for the first time!). Or, maybe you want to thank your history teacher for pushing you. You should share how he worked with you individually after school when you were initially struggling to write the AP Euro DBQs, and how this encouraged you to start tutoring others in math when you say how effective this individual help was. 

Since this essay is only 150-200 words, you likely only have space for 1-2 anecdotes, so choose the ones that stick out to you most (and ones that add additional info to your application rather than repeating it). Unlike your other essays, this one doesn’t need to be a narrative format, and you should simply address the person you’re thanking. Write as if you’re actually writing a regular thank you note to them —no need to be super formal, and do include jokes if that’s how you’d normally interact!

If you do share your note with the person you’re thanking, you don’t have to reflect on the experience in the essay, unless you want to. If you do, save about one-third to one-fourth of the space for your reflection (about 50-60 words). How did it make that person feel? How did it make you feel? How was the experience meaningful for both of you?

The goal of this essay is to see which students are self-aware and humble , so as long as you approach this essay with genuine intentions of thanking this person, you should have a strong response. 

All Applicants, Prompt 2

How will you explore the community at penn consider how this community will help shape your perspective and identity, and how your identity and perspective will help shape this community. (150-200 words).

Use this short essay to showcase the best parts of yourself outside of the classroom. This doesn’t mean you can’t mention your academic interests, but if you mention the same subject as you did in the first prompt, you should dramatically recontextualize it or illuminate a new aspect of it. 

The word community appears three times – so address your philosophy of community. Do some thinking about what “community” means to you, and what kind of group setting is your ideal. Is it small? Large? Gentle? Raucous? If you have an original, thought-provoking, or culturally-informed definition that you love, feel free to include it. The best essays will be about a deeper topic than simply extracurriculars or collaborative research.

Be specific, and do your UPenn research . Maybe you bring musical talents and want to join the student orchestra. Perhaps you are a Hispanic student who wants to revitalize others’ awareness of their cultural heritage. Poke around UPenn’s website to find specific groups or initiatives that address something you enjoy. As always, if you can use past accomplishments or experiences to illustrate your point, it will be more powerful. For instance, if you have led your soccer team’s community outreach efforts, talk about how the skills you learned on the team will make you better at building a relationship between UPenn and the city of Philadelphia.

Don’t just name-drop an activity. For example, “UPenn’s Black student center, Makuu, is something that interests me” shows a bit of research, but not a lot. It also does not connect the research to the applicant as an individual, or hit on the larger theme of community. A better approach is to be hyper specific: “Because I’m interested in Black literary studies, as well as crossover between literature and history, I’m captivated by the way UPenn’s Makuu house brings together young Black academics from various disciplines. As I delve into my field of interest — Black and African modernist poetry — I would love to draw on the knowledge of my colleagues to enrich my work. I’m a firm believer that the more paths we can create between different disciplines of Black studies, the easier it is to explore.” This answer is specific to the applicant, establishes an ethos for research, and addresses Makuu as more than a name.

Identify a challenge you want to pose yourself. Look at the prompt again — the verb “shape” is another word that gets repeated, and it’s backed up by “learning” and “growth.” This prompt is asking about development, so you should identify an area in which you want to evolve, grow, and improve. Ideally, think about a certain foible that challenges you and keeps you from fulfilling your potential — maybe it’s a fear of public speaking, an apathy towards volunteering, or a tendency to seek out echo chambers. Why do you feel you need to change, and what communities at UPenn could push you out of your comfort zone?

For example, I could plot out my essay like this: 

I’m not an effective writing mentor. I can be too harsh and too direct with my feedback. I can intimidate people I intend to help.

I need to work on my “bedside manner” as a writing mentor. I need to acquire effective strategies and principles to inform me, and I need to work with more mentees to practice.

The student essay tutors program at UPenn’s library will offer me training to improve as a tutor, and by working there I can gain repeated experience in coaching others’ writing.

I will end up as a better communicator, and I can help writers feel confident, an essential skill for an aspiring editor like myself. 

If you’re having trouble coming up with ideas. Ask yourself these questions:

• When was a time I was challenged in an activity? What challenging moments would I want to repeat?
• Look up Howard Gardner’s multiple intelligences . These are various kinds of astuteness Garnder posited exist in students to different extents. Is there an intelligence in which I’m lacking, which I want to strengthen? Which activities would help me build this intelligence?
• When have I grown as an individual? How did I change?
• What’s a club or group where I could use my skills for a greater good? 

College of Arts and Sciences

The flexible structure of the college of arts and sciences’ curriculum is designed to inspire exploration, foster connections, and help you create a path of study through general education courses and a major. what are you curious about and how would you take advantage of opportunities in the arts and sciences (150-200 words).

This prompt doesn’t leave you with a lot of space to communicate why you are pursuing your major of choice , so being concise is key. In the limited space available, you need to communicate your interest in the area of study and explain the resources and opportunities at UPenn that will allow you to indulge your curiosity and grow your passion.

When it comes to communicating your interest, there are a few ways you could go about it. A tried and true method is to rely on an anecdote to show the admissions committee either how your interest in the subject matter began or how you engage with the topic in your current life. Remember, anecdotes need to communicate your emotional attachment to your interest by drawing on thoughts, feelings, and physical expression.

You can also demonstrate your interest with specific examples. For example, a student interested in pursuing music could write a sentence about each instrument they play and what excites them about each one. Another tactic you might employ is to share your inner monologue. This might look like a student detailing the conversation in their head when they are researching astronomy topics and how they jump from one subtopic to another.

While expressing your interest in your major is important, the second half of this essay requires you to turn towards UPenn’s offerings. Start scouring the website and look for unique opportunities and resources that not only relate to your interests, but will also help you grow and achieve your goals. Below are a few ideas to inspire your research:

• Look at the course roster and find classes in your major (don’t just pick Biology 101; the more specific, the better!)
• Find professors in your department and the research they conduct
• Explore unique clubs and extracurriculars that align with your interests (there is a finance club on every campus but Penn’s Marketing Undergraduate Student Establishment is highly specific)
• Look into special programs or centers (ie. Center for Particle Cosmology or Linguistics Data Consortium)
• Research Penn-specific study abroad programs and destinations

Especially given the limited amount of space in this prompt, quality over quantity is extremely important; pick one or two opportunities and go into depth about why they excite you, how they relate to you, and what you hope to get out of them rather than name dropping four or five.                                 

If you are able to seamlessly transition from discussing your personal history with your major of choice and the related opportunities at UPenn, you will have a strong essay. You also don’t need to know exactly what you want to study in college to successfully write this essay. If you are applying to Arts and Sciences undecided, these tips will help you respond to this prompt.

School of Engineering and Applied Science

Penn engineering prepares its students to become leaders in technology, by combining a strong foundation in the natural sciences and mathematics, exploration in the liberal arts, and depth of study in focused disciplinary majors. please share how you hope to explore your engineering interests at penn. (150-200 words).

All this prompt boils down to is “ Why This Major? ”. The Penn admissions committee wants to know three main things:

1. What drew you to engineering?

2. What are your goals? (ie. become a leader in technology as stated in the prompt)

3. How will Penn help you further your interest and achieve your goals?

Let’s break this down step-by-step.

Just as in any “Why Major?” essay, you need to demonstrate your passion for your chosen area of study so admissions officers are confident that you will be a positive addition to the campus. But how do you show that?

The best way is to use anecdotes. College essays that read like stories are infinitely more engaging than ones that restate the prompt and tell the reader who the student is. We need to see it. Take a look at a few examples of the types of anecdotes you could use to demonstrate your interest in engineering:

“ Seventy degrees with partially cloudy skies, but no rain on the radar. Check. Twenty foot radius cleared of trees and shrubbery. Check. Adoring fans waiting with bated breath outside the launch zone. Check, if you count my mother glancing up from her phone every minute or so. Time to initiate the launch sequence. My dad’s voice boomed out the descending count as I looked over the two-foot-tall rocket. The nose curved for optimal aerodynamicity, the fins 10% smaller than last time to reduce drift, and the parachute stowed away that would surely deploy this time. My dad reached zero and we had liftoff!”

“Nothing beats a trip to my grandparents house. And it’s not the paletas my grandma stashes underneath the frozen vegetables or my grandpa’s hand carved chess board that draws me there. It’s the bridge we take to get there. Two miles long, eight lanes wide, and 400 feet in the air, it defies all natural laws. Sticking my head out the window like a puppy tasting the wind, I crane my neck to look at the suspension cables that effortlessly distribute thousands of tons. I want to close my eyes and imagine the barges and cranes flooding the river to construct such a masterpiece, but I can never take my eyes off of the bridge.”

2. What are your goals?

The second thing your essay needs to communicate is what your personal and career aspirations are, relative to engineering. In an essay this short, this doesn’t need to be more than a sentence or two, but including a forward-thinking mindset will show the admissions committee your dedication to the subject. Plus, Penn wants to admit students who will achieve great things, so let them know you have big plans in store!

You can weave your goals into your anecdote or allude to them when you are talking about the Penn resources you want to take advantage of, for example: “ After taking Nanoscale Science and Engineering, I will know the mechanisms needed to scale-down the facial recognition chip to fit it into wearable glasses, so even those with Alzheimer’s can recognize their loved ones. ”

In the prompt, they mention “Penn Engineering prepares its students to become leaders in technology,” so if you can, try to demonstrate how you will be a leader within your engineering field when highlighting a goal of yours.

3. How will Penn help you?

Before you’re done with your essay, you need to connect yourself to UPenn. By this point in your essay, the admissions committee should see you are a passionate, driven, and ambitious student with a bright future ahead of you, but the question Penn admissions officers care about is why should that future be at Penn ?

You’ll need to now bring in a few Penn-specific resources and opportunities—and connect them to you—to seal the deal and demonstrate how you would make the most out of a Penn education.

When it comes to including school resources, we always recommend quality over quantity. Avoid name-dropping three classes, a professor, and two student organizations without any elaboration. Instead, for an essay with a limited word count, focus on one or two Penn resources that align with your passion and explain why you are excited to engage with that opportunity or how it will help you achieve your goals.

It’s a good idea to pick Penn offerings that align with the central theme or anecdote of your essay. For example, a student who’s anecdote was about programming a robot might write about their interest in joining Penn Aerial Robotics to explore the design behind UAVs since they want to go into military development. Another student who told a story about researching devices to cure obscure diseases might talk about the Penn Center for Health, Devices, and Technology and how they want to partner with faculty at the Center to develop new technology.

School of Nursing

Penn nursing intends to meet the health needs of society in a global and multicultural world by preparing its students to impact healthcare by advancing science and promoting equity. what do you think this means for the future of nursing, and how do you see yourself contributing to our mission of promoting equity in healthcare (150-200 words).

Health equity has increasingly become an important topic of discussion in the public sphere, but especially in nursing and medical classes. This prompt is asking you to consider what health equity means to you and how you will play a role in creating a more fair healthcare system.

Some students might be tempted to treat this essay more like an argumentative essay you might submit in a class, but don’t forget that it’s still a college essay. That means we need to learn about you!

Yes, the admissions committee wants to hear why you think health equity is important, but they are also curious to see your experience with the topic in the past. If you’ve experienced discrimination in healthcare, witnessed a loved one or friend be disadvantaged because of a lack of equity, or worked to promote health equity within your community, they want to know. Even if you have previous experience promoting social justice and equality more generally, not necessarily in the healthcare field, that should be part of your essay.

For students who have direct experience with this topic, your essay should do these three main things:

1. Establish a connection to health equity. A good way to do this is through an anecdote or story about your previous experience. Show us how you were emotionally impacted by the existence of health discrimination or injustice. If you did work in high school to address the issue, let us know what attracted you to the topic in the first place and describe the impact achieving health equity had on you and others.

2. Explain how you will contribute to Penn’s mission . This part is a little more open ended because you can either interpret it as contributing to healthcare equality at Penn or after graduation, it’s up to you. Either way, it’s a good idea to bring in unique Penn resources that will further your knowledge of health equity or help you actively make a difference in the field. Explain why the particular opportunity you highlighted speaks to you and how it will help you grow in your career as a nurse. However, don’t forget to include what you can bring to the table, in whatever club or class you are in, too.

3. Reflect on the importance of health equity. You can weave this part throughout your essay, use it as an impactful hook or conclusion, or use it to emphasize the point of your anecdote. What’s important is to show the admissions committee your critical thinking and reasoning skills and discuss why we need equality in healthcare. What would hospitals look like? How would the patient experience be improved? Who would be impacted? How can incorporating equity make nursing more productive or enjoyable? You can really talk about any way that nursing and healthcare would be impacted, just as long as you zoom out and think about the bigger picture.

Maybe you don’t have any direct experience with this topic—that’s okay too! The structure suggested above can be modified so instead of establishing your connection to health equity with a personal anecdote, you can have a more generalized discussion about why it is important and how it makes you feel. Don’t hold back—tell us about the emotions, thoughts, and feelings you have on the topic. Describe your heartbreak and fear for yourself at hearing stories of women’s pain being dismissed. Express your hungry appetite for addressing social injustices and how you will never be satisfied until you make a difference.

The rest of the essay should be pretty similar with the Penn resources and the reflection on the future of nursing. If you don’t have any personal experiences, your essay might be a bit heavier on what you hope to learn at Penn and contribute in the future; there’s nothing wrong with that. 

Regardless of what your experience-level is like, it’s important that you are able to communicate in your response that you are a civically-minded person and that you are driven by a desire to improve the world around you. If you can demonstrate to the admissions committee that you are passionate about advancing health equity, your essay will be a success.

The Wharton School

Wharton prepares its students to make an impact by applying business methods and economic theory to real-world problems, including economic, political, and social issues. please reflect on a current issue of importance to you and share how you hope a wharton education would help you to explore it. (150-200 words).

This essay follows the “ Global Issues ” essay archetype. For this type of essay, it’s extremely important that you pick an issue you are actually passionate about, rather than one you think will seem “impressive” to admissions officers. Your natural interest in the topic will make it easier to write and make the essay more engaging.

Pick an Issue Important to You

You’re given leeway in the prompt to pick any economic, political, or social issue that is close to your heart. Maybe there is one that immediately jumps out at you, or maybe you’re struggling to choose. If you need help narrowing down your choices, start by asking yourself these questions:

• What class are you more drawn to, economics or history/government?
• What type of news articles catch your attention?
• What causes or charities do you donate to or volunteer for?
• What’s a news story that has made you enraged? Upset? Motivated?
• What current events topics do you like to talk about with your friends?

We recommend picking a topic that relates to your interests and experiences that way you can incorporate stories into your essay. A student who is able to connect something they do on a local level to a larger national issue will show the admissions committee their appreciation of micro and macro perspectives. 

For example, a student who’s been volunteering as a tutor for low income elementary students throughout high school might choose public education funding as their topic because they have seen the disparity in resources available to students simply based on the property taxes in the district. Not only does this topic directly relate to their extracurricular interests, but it also provides the student with a chance to use stories and details from their personal experience.

Keep in mind that although Wharton is the business school, your issue does not have to be economically-related, nor do you need to explain the issue’s connection to business. Practically every global issue involves economic theory or the private sector, so it’s more important to pick an issue that is authentically you rather than one that seems better suited to the school.

Explain the Extent of the Problem and Your Connection

The first part of this is pretty straightforward: tell the admissions committee why they should care about this issue as much as you do. Pretend that your reader isn’t familiar with the issue and explain what is going on and why it is important to address it.

The more nuanced part is to explain why this issue is important to you.

This is where anecdotes and personal stories can come into play, but you need to make sure that through these stories you communicate your emotional attachment to the issue. Are you or your community personally affected? How has that impacted your lives? Maybe the issue is not directly related to you but it reminds you of something you’ve faced. In that case, how do you empathize with the people going through the situation?

Since this essay is pretty short, a good portion of the essay should be on your personal connection to the issue. 

How Will Wharton Help You Fix It

Of course since this is a college essay, the prompt doesn’t just want to know about a global issue you care about—it wants to know how you will utilize a Penn education to solve problems. Again, space is limited, so you don’t have the luxury to go into multiple resources that you hope to engage with on campus. Instead, hone in on one or two and make sure to explain their significance.

Whether it’s a professor, class, student organization, research topic, special center, study abroad program, etc, make sure to include how that opportunity will teach you something unique or equip you with specific skills that will allow you to address the issue in the future.

Huntsman Program Applicants

UPenn’s Huntsman Program is a dual degree track in International Studies and Business, which brings together the College of Arts and Sciences and the Wharton School of Business. Its focus is global, and students learn target languages and study foreign affairs with an eye towards becoming internationally-involved, global citizens.

This is a meaty question, and we should break it down into a checklist of key items they’re asking you to identify. 

• What draws you to business (B) + international studies (IS)
• A global issue in B + IS
• What you want to learn about B + IS
• How that knowledge is applicable to the global issue 

A logical, competent way to structure this essay would be a narrative format: past to present. The items that compose the question naturally lend themselves to this timeline format, so lean into it if you choose. You can talk about your past interest in a problem, the current state of that problem, and how your collegiate experience in B + IS will make you a citizen better equipped to help solve that problem. 

As always, be specific. Pick not just a broad issue (“refugee crises”), but a subset of the issue that actually seems manageable (“connecting large corporate donors with small charities run by refugees themselves”). From there, look for potential classes offered at UPenn, and student organizations involved in similar missions. It may be worth citing how the Huntsman program has aided the students featured on its website , and discuss how those same opportunities would similarly provide you with a comprehensive education in B + IS.

Demonstrate your cosmopolitanism . If you have a family history that involves living in multiple countries or cultures, you may want to evoke it here. The same goes for any educational, service, or other time spent learning abroad. Even if you’ve never left your home country, demonstrate a keen knowledge of foreign affairs by citing events, specific leaders, certain charities or businesses, etc. 

That said, be wary of “factoids” and surface knowledge . The CollegeVine writer who broke down this prompt last year had a great piece of advice that’s worth emphasizing (and maybe tattooing?): 

“Don’t do what I did. In high school, I focused on international affairs a lot during debate. Unfortunately, I messed up an important interview by talking about a bunch of breaking news instead of tying those events back to the deeper insights I had been describing in my debates.

All this is just to say: don’t mistake superficial ideas for depth of interest. One quick way to test this is to try talking about your essay topic for three minutes. If you run out of things to say about the intersection of global issues and business, you probably are coming at the issue from the wrong angle [and you need to approach it from another direction: themes, morality, ethics, etc].”

What is the philosophy behind your international focus? In addition to showing your knowledge of IS, you should state why you enjoy the field, and why it’s necessary for the world right now. Has your understanding of “the world” and your “self” changed since you first became interested in B + IS? Your understandings of “community,” “collaboration,” “multiculturalism,” “aid,” etc? 

Think of it this way: the prompt asks “what” and “how,” but there’s also a hidden question: “why?”

Digital Media Design Program Applicants 

“ The Digital Media Design Program ,” writes UPenn, “was established in response to what we perceived as a growing rift within the computer graphics and animation industry.” UPenn is one of few schools to offer a specialized curriculum that combines fine arts with computer engineering. However, because the DMD program is so rare, it is also competitive. In this essay, show your interest in digital media design to be sustained rather than temporary.

This prompt is similar to the first UPenn prompt, discussed above with the hypothetical applicant Sam. It asks you 1) what your interest is, and 2) why you need to pursue it at UPenn and DMD specifically. To that effect, you can brainstorm using the T-chart format we covered there, with “DMD” in the column previously dedicated to a certain major. 

That said, there are some specific things you should mind. 

Why you NEED the interdisciplinary approach . DMD combines a lot of fields that you could study in isolation elsewhere. For a standout application, you need to show why you wouldn’t be content in just the School of Fine Arts or just the School of Engineering. Rather, you should describe the magnetic pull both design and computer sciences have on your mind, and how you’ve integrated them in the past, to the point where they’re inextricable for you.

A problem you can help address. Remember, this whole program was created to solve a perceived problem! Towards the end of your essay, identify a societal or industry-specific problem that the skills set you’d acquire at DMD would help ameliorate, whether it’s user interfaces for apps, computer models for statisticians, or how to make animated fish scales look really, really good. 

Do some digging about the program . Information about DMD is scattered in multiple places, so spend a good hour clicking around and exploring the Internet. There’s some student work on this webpage, a Youtube video , and a description of Penn’s computer graphics facilities . For a program this esoteric, it’s also worth your effort to send a polite email to the Computer Graphics Department at UPenn, asking if there’s any faculty or current students who’d like to chat or answer your questions about the program. This will give you a much more specific sense of how the program would fit your interests, what career resources are available for DMD students, etc. 

The message is the medium. Since this is a design program, convey your design preferences and unique style as much as possible. A successful essay not only convinces admissions officers that you are passionate about design; it gives them a sense of what aesthetics your designs will prioritize. For example, if your style is “minimalist,” you might want to experiment with a “minimalist” writing style: sentence fragments, short sentences, and clipped breaks. If your style is vivid and colorful, engage lots of sensory words, lush descriptions, and (obviously) words for all your favorite shades of colors. 

Life Sciences and Management Program Applicants

The Life Sciences and Management Program is a dual degree that ties together the biology majors in the College of Arts and Sciences and the Wharton School of Business. Although it’s selective in the number of students it accepts (25), it’s broad in terms of focus: students pursue everything from agriculture to pharmaceuticals to bioengineering to finance. 

The LSM program aims to provide students with a fundamental understanding of the life sciences and their management with an eye to identifying, advancing and implementing innovations. What issues would you want to address using the understanding gained from such a program? Note that this essay should be distinct from your single degree essay. (400-650 words)

Wow! They already gave you a theme for this essay: innovation! That should make it easy, right? Well, maybe. By like 5%. Batten down the hatches.

We can break this prompt down into the central requirements, and all the attendant little words that feed into them. Those central requirements are:

• The issue you want to address
• LSM experience – “program,” “understanding,” “eye”
• “Innovation” – “identifying, advancing, implementing”

First, find an issue in the life sciences/life sciences business that speaks to you. This doesn’t have to be a specific problem: it can be an attitude that you feel needs fixing, a lack of collaboration, or an incorrect mindset or paradigm. However, you should have specific examples of personal experiences with it, either from your studies or some other aspect of your life. And you should demonstrate a thorough understanding of it, revealing that you’ve read widely and stayed updated. 

Second, talk about how LSM will help you become the solution . LSM provides its students with an incredible array of resources, including internships, connections, prizes, funds, and mentorship. You should discuss program-specific resources that either touch on the issue specifically or will give you the “eye,” the “understanding” mentioned in the prompt.

• Find granular examples of LSM resources . Their website is so expansive, and so full of student profiles and useful information, that we recommend spending about an hour clicking through and jotting down information that intrigues you. Find specific faculty who work in areas that interest you, or who are engaged in public work in a way you’d admire. Then connect these back to the “issue” you’ve mentioned.
• Justify your interdisciplinary needs . You need to prove that you wouldn’t be be happier in either management or bioscience — you need them both together. Good statements to have in pocket are “only through LSM,” “LSM specifically,” and “LSM’s unique X.” For example, check out LSM’s two program-exclusive courses . Citing these would be a great idea, as would clicking on the faculty links on the same page. 

Lastly, discuss your ideas of innovation. Don’t worry — they’re not expecting you to solve anything now. And actually, if you read the prompt closely, LSM wants their students to be skilled at “identifying, advancing and implementing” innovations, not necessarily inventing them. Here, it’s less important to propose a solution to your issue than it is to propose a road to that solution, an implementation plan for an extant solution, or a unique definition of “innovation.” You should focus on ideas that are key to management: how does innovation happen, how do we organize people to produce innovation, how do we establish cultures where collaboration is enjoyable? UPenn wants to learn about how you think, about your philosophy.

Jerome Fisher Management and Technology Program Applicants

The Jerome Fisher Management and Technology Program is a dual-degree program that allows students to select an interdisciplinary concentration that melds the schools of Business and Engineering. 

Note: The two essays have very different purposes, so be sure to write them with those distinct goals in mind.

• The first essay follows a similar archetype as the essay outlined under the first general UPenn prompt: the “why major” essay. Remember Sam and the T-chart? 
• The second essay is trying to learn how you think and act under pressure. Do you think like an engineer? Can you solve problems creatively? Do you take the lead when circumstances demand it?

M&T Program, Prompt 1

Explain how you will use the m&t program to explore your interest in business, engineering, and the intersection of the two. (400-650 words).

This prompt is similar to the first UPenn prompt, discussed above with the hypothetical applicant Sam. It asks you 1) what your interest is, and 2) why you need to pursue it at UPenn and M&T specifically. To that effect, you can brainstorm using the T-chart format we covered there, with “M&T” in the column previously dedicated to a certain major. 

Why you NEED the interdisciplinary approach . M&T combines a lot of fields that you could study in isolation elsewhere. For a standout application, you need to show why you wouldn’t be content in just the School of Business or just the School of Engineering. Rather, you should describe the magnetic pull both engineering and business have on your mind, and how you’ve integrated them in the past, to the point where they’re inextricable for you.

A problem or curiosity you can help address. Remember, the first words on M&T’s website are “ solving big problems ”! Towards the end of your essay, mention a societal or industry-specific problem that the skills set you’d acquire through M&T would help ameliorate, whether it’s user interfaces for apps or environmentally-friendly polymers.

Do some digging about the program . M&T’s website is vast, so spend a good hour clicking around and exploring, taking notes on details that appeal to you. This will give you a much more specific sense of how the program would fit your interests, what career resources are available for M&T students, etc. We suggest checking out the News section and Alumni profiles .

M&T Program Applicants, Prompt 2

Describe a problem that you solved that showed leadership and creativity. (250 words).

Finding an anecdote that fits the second essay is harder than it may seem. First, think back on times you have been a leader. This can be through some formal position you held, like club president, or it can be leadership in practice rather than in title. It also doesn’t have to strictly involve business and engineering, although it really helps if you’re able to creatively apply it back to your business/tech interests. You should think of this prompt as the short, fun, unbuttoned sequel to the previous one.

Here’s an example. Imagine Lucy is the lead singer in a band, but they’ve been having trouble booking gigs. So Lucy looks for venues they had not considered previously, going to chamber of commerce meetings. She finds out small business owners would like live music for events. Talks go well, and pretty soon, Lucy’s band is playing private events hosted by small businesses.

This anecdote makes a great fit for the essay prompt, because it expands on the idea of “business” without being stuffy or repetitious. It’s fresh, and can allow Lucy to talk about a real topic in business, relevant to M&T — seeking face-to-face connections and word-of-mouth recommendations.

CollegeVine’s breakdown of a Common App essay on problem-solving has some useful tips you can use here, too. For example:

1. Briefly reflect on the pros and cons of your solution! It takes a sophisticated essay to describe a solution, but also to reflect on some errors or things you’d do differently.

2. Brainstorm problems with solutions that you are particularly proud of or that you think are unique or exciting, then pick the most compelling one for M&T.

3. Use anecdotal color: dialogue, varied tone, emotions, jokes, asides. 

To which we should add that here, since you only have 250 words, be short, streamlined, and vivid. Use efficient, active verbs that will pack the maximum amount of punch into such a short passage. 

NETS Engineering Program Applicants

NETS is a unique program in Penn’s engineering school that foregrounds networks, huge systems, social media, modern computing, and economics.

UPenn really loves these meaty prompts, don’t they? This one needs to be broken down and analyzed, since there are a bunch of components.

Notice all the nouns? If you look closely at the prompt, almost all the words are nouns. That means the admissions readers for NETS are going to be on the lookout for applicants who name-drop specific terms, techniques, or systems — the bread-and-butter unit nouns of CS. When composing, you should take care not to sacrifice density of concepts and information for narrative flair, although…

You need to add that *narrative flair*. Since the prompt is mostly nouns, you’ll need to stir in your own action through verbbbbs. Make a list of all the actions you’ve performed while working on information systems. And keep in mind the UPenn example with Tarzan: the verbs should be as vivid as you can afford writing about CS. Did you “formulate” and “organize” an array, or did you “DREDGE” the data set and “FLOOD” the array with numbers and “CONSTELLATE” the data into “WHIRLING” patterns? Don’t be excessive, but liven up your prose to convey your enthusiasm. 

NETS’ website emphasizes creativity, brilliance, and sometimes genius . NETS has a little bit of a god complex: their ideal student is “one of the few” (as the NETS Program website tells us), an “extraordinary” thinker, not an “average mind.” So make sure to let your personality and uniqueness shine through. (Fun fact about the word genius : it comes from a Latin word indicating a unique, endemic spirit.) This means using vivid words and literary devices to showcase your free-thinking. And you can elaborate unabashedly about your accomplishments, as long as you do so with enthusiasm for the work itself, rather than pride in nominal awards. 

We live in a society. All right, gamers, it’s time to rise up and talk about societal issues that resonate with you. “Society” is mentioned twice, which offers you an opportunity to start with your personal experience, then broaden your focus to encompass wider issues. Describe how awareness of this context changed anything about your methods, ethics, or career goals: was there a service you stopped using or a technique you tried learning after reading a piece of news? 

“Draw on examples from your own experiences as a user, developer, or student of technology.” You should really involve all three. 

Conclude with your specific desires for college . Translate your interests into a college context, and state what kinds of coursework you want to do, and what kinds of pre-professional assistance would help you out. Lastly, bring back the “societal” need and identify how you want to contribute as a thinker. 

Nursing and Healthcare Management Program Applicants

NHCM is a dual degree between the Wharton School of Business and the Nursing School. 

This prompt follows a similar format as the first UPenn essay, in that it asks you to 1) identify your interest and 2) pair that interest with specific resources at UPenn — NHCM, specifically. So you may want to revisit that breakdown, the T-chart method we discussed, and the sample “Sam” essay. 

Why you NEED the interdisciplinary approach . NHCM combines a lot of fields that you could study in isolation elsewhere. For a standout application, you need to show why you wouldn’t be content in just the School of Business or just the School of Nursing. Rather, you should describe the magnetic pull both healthcare and business have on your mind, and how you’ve integrated them in the past, to the point where they’re inextricable for you.

A problem, curiosity, or goal you can pursue. Discuss how your personal experience has shaped your objectives in pursuing nursing — you have space to open in medias res with a personal story, if you want. Towards the end of your essay, mention a societal or industry-specific problem that the skills set you’d acquire through NHCM would help ameliorate, whether it’s how pharma companies can better incorporate the perspective of nurses or how businesses can succeed with their health initiatives.

Do some digging about the program . The NHCM website is very small, so be sure to poke around the internet exploring, taking notes on details that appeal to you. This will give you a much more specific sense of how the program would fit your interests, what career resources are available for NHCS students, etc. We suggest checking out the Admissions webinars offered by the UPenn school of nursing for opportunities to ask questions. You also might want to politely email the staff member listed under the “Who Can Apply?” section , and ask if there are any faculty or current students who would be open to talking about their experiences in NHCM.

VIPER Program Applicants

The Vagelos Integrated Program in Energy Research, or VIPER, is a rigorous program that emphasizes student research, publication, and involved mentorship opportunities with faculty.

This prompt is more like a python than a viper, in that it’s huge and has some additional prompts swallowed up inside. However, you should note that it follows a similar format as the first UPenn essay, in that it asks you to 1) identify your specific interests and ideal majors and 2) pair that interest with specific resources at UPenn — VIPER, specifically. And boy, do VIPER students not lack for resources. So you may want to revisit that breakdown and the T-chart method we discussed, and fill up the target panel with VIPER-specific programs, mentorship opportunities, awards, funds, and summer opportunities that call to you. 

Why you NEED the interdisciplinary approach . VIPER combines a lot of fields that you could study in isolation elsewhere. For a standout application, you need to show why you wouldn’t be content in just the School of A&S or just the School of Engineering. Rather, you should describe the magnetic pull both science and engineering have on your mind, and how you’ve integrated them in the past, to the point where they’re inextricable for you. Describing your dual passions can provide a meaningful segue into “previous research,” as per the prompt — you might have loved a setting in which you practiced both science and engineering, or you might have felt something was “missing” when you solely focused on one or the other. 

A problem, curiosity, or goal you can pursue in college. Discuss how your personal experience has shaped your objectives in pursuing engineering – you have space to open in medias res with a personal story, if you want. If one experience was particularly formative, eye-opening, challenging, or inspiring, this would be a great incident with which to open.

Follow a logical narrative organization. The prompt itself provides you with the easiest way to lay out your essay, and that is: 

Inciting or important experience 

Interest in energy/science as a subject

Further experience

Narrowed and refined interests;  awareness of large-scale dilemmas in the field

Desire for certain exploratory opportunities in college

VIPER programs that fit that desire

How VIPER programs will prepare me to address those large-scale dilemmas and research interests

Do some digging about the program . The VIPER website is huge and comprehensive, so be sure to reserve an hour or so for reading, exploring, and taking notes on details that appeal to you. This will give you a much more specific sense of how the program would fit your interests, what career resources are available for VIPER students, etc. We suggest checking out the information e-sessions offered by The VIPER for opportunities to ask questions. You also might want to politely email the staff member listed on the Prospective Students page if you have any questions, or if you want to ask if there are any faculty or current students who would be open to talking about their experiences in VIPER.

Bio-Dental Program Applicants

UPenn’s seven-year Bio-Dental Program is a rigorous and highly-structured regimen that puts students on track to complete a professional dental degree in an accelerated time-frame. This program emphasizes discipline, determination, and pure scientific competence. Your answers should be focused much more on skills and comprehension, although personal stories can still be important. But it’s advisable to take a clear, incisive tone instead of something more colorful or story-heavy.

Bio-Dental Applicants, Prompt 1

Please list pre-dental or pre-medical experience. this experience can include but is not limited to observation in a private practice, dental clinic, or hospital setting; dental assisting; dental laboratory work; dental or medical research, etc. please include time allotted to each activity, dates of attendance, location, and description of your experience. if you do not have any pre-dental or pre-medical experience, please indicate what you have done or plan to do in order to explore dentistry as a career. (250 words).

This is an expertise-oriented question; it’s very similar to a resume. However, since you’ll also be submitting a profile of your extracurriculars, and possibly a resume as well, you should use this brief essay to go more into depth and focus on your accomplishments. Skill, aptitude, and experience should be your foci here, and you should talk about specific techniques, tools, or procedures you learned. Don’t worry too much about telling a story or personal development. Stick to hard expertise.

If, as per the second option (no pre-dental or pre-med experience), you still need to keep the theme of “expertise” in mind. When UPenn asks you to “indicate what you’ve done,” they’re not looking for a personal epiphany or moving memoir about why you decided to go into dentistry. They’re more interested in the rigorous science and anatomy classes you’ve taken, science programs in which you’ve participated, etc. 

List your accomplishments in these classes, specifically your scores and achievements in areas relating to medicine and dentistry. (Hint: you’ll also get a chance to shine in the next prompt, which asks about manual skills.) For example, a relevant accomplishment might be a review of data you conducted in your AP Environmental Science class that focused on dental problems in areas with high erosion and airborne particles, and for which you earned a commendation at a local science club. 

Bio-Dental Applicants, Prompt 2

Do you have relatives who are dentists or are in dental school if so, indicate the name of each relative, his/her relationship to you, the school attended, and the dates attended. (250 words).

This is pretty simple and straightforward; there’s no need to go into detail about personal experiences. You don’t have to write complete sentences and can do a bullet-type list in a clear but informal format. 

For example: 

First and Last Name; Relation; School Attended; First Year-Last Year.

Bio-Dental Applicants, Prompt 3

Describe any activities which demonstrate your ability to work with your hands. (250 words).

Focus on motor skills and actions. Here you can be a bit more descriptive and evocative, although your focus should remain on what you can do, rather than your fascination with your activity or your emotional attachments to the work. “Thrilled and trembling with energy” might have been your reaction to welding in shop class, but it’s the last thing UPenn wants in an aspiring dental surgeon. Instead, list the operations you had to perform in welding, including the thinness of the wires, the delicacy of the projects, and any certifications you earned. A good way to summarize is in a technical but illustrative list. For example: “Advanced Jewelrymaking 302: form and solder 15-gauge wire into jump rings, create settings with various-sized burs, acquire working knowledge of a rotary precision motor.” 

As mentioned before, this is a great place to shine if you don’t have as much pre-med or academic experience in health. An applicant who doesn’t have as many AP classes, but who has a proven track record of quality trade work and mechanical skills, may stand out more than a candidate with an outstanding academic record but little in the way of manual work. 

Don’t be afraid to mention less “hard” and “mechanical” subjects. Art is perfectly acceptable, as long as you can break it down to a technical level in terms of tools and minute detail. 

Also, focus on the small and precise! If you did lawn maintenance over the summer, leaf-blowing and lawn-mowing may not be very helpful to mention here. But if you had to mix precise ratios of concrete or resin, or caulk up a small crack in a fountain, these are good examples to list. 

Bio-Dental Applicants, Prompt 4

What activities have you performed that demonstrate your ability to work cooperatively with people (250 words).

Use a similar format as you did in the last prompt, relying on lists of tasks and accomplishments. Feel free to mention challenges you overcame and how: for example, “improved low member engagement by moving our NHS chapter onto a Slack channel.” 

Don’t fall into any traps, or think UPenn is looking for a certain type of club, leadership, or cooperation. Think about shifts at work, family, sports, projects, and other preoccupations.

Keep it results-focused. Don’t wax poetic about “community bonds,” “love,” or “family.” They’re less interested in how you bonded with your partners than in how you know how to work as a unit. If your emotional bonding helped you better function as a well-oiled machine, mention it in that context. Otherwise, concentrate on results and improvement, rather than feelings.

Bio-Dental Applicants, Prompt 5

Please explain your reasons for selecting a career in dentistry. please include what interests you the most in dentistry as well as what interests you the least. (250 words).

At the risk of sounding like a broken record, we’re advising once again that you take note of the technical tone. By asking “what interests you most in dentistry as well as what interests you the least,” UPenn is signaling that you can’t just be emotional about your reasons for liking dentistry. You have to include your thoughts on what technical area or sub-field you want to pursue. 

That being said, you do have space to include a personal connection or involvement, if you choose. But you need to bring your focus back, always, towards your knowledge of the field. For example, “seeing my grandmother’s confidence soar when she got dental implants” is a good start. However, you need to take the gesture to its logical conclusion: “Seeing my grandmother go from recluse to the life of the party, combined with what I learned about the emotional vulnerabilities of aging in AP Psych, inspired me to pursue geriatric dentistry in particular. Dental health, I’ve found, is central to the self-esteem and mental health of seniors, and training in this area would allow me to use my skills in a way that betters lives.” Note how the emotional subject matter is tempered by the applicant’s educational experience. Wisely, the applicant also demonstrates a priority for coursework and a career path — a clear trajectory moving forward.

For your non-interest, be tactful. This can be a stumbling block for applicants, as it’s a lot harder to talk about what you don’t want to study in a way that’s still positive and reflects well on your personality. As you’re writing this, you should put yourself in a “job interview” mindset — you don’t want to slip up, or say anything that could be used against you. Try not to use emotional words, like “boring” or “stressful” or “I don’t care.” It’s essential to be respectful and graceful instead. But don’t worry — you just need a little more planning. Here are some ideas:

1. Acknowledge your non-interest as a matter-of-fact sacrifice for your interest. Be brief and impartial. Don’t go into a lot of detail about why you don’t want to pursue orthodontics or cosmetic dentistry, etc. Just state that you have greater interest and motivation in other fields. Try, “As I focus my attention on geriatric dentistry, I expect to devote most of my coursework to implants and the aging dental structure, and anticipate spending less time on pediatric dental courses as a result.” Frame it as a trade-off or logical transaction, rather than you having an aversion to a certain area. 

2. Frame your “least interest” as a personal shortcoming that you need to overcome . For example, a student who’s never felt called to study dental office administration might acknowledge that this is probably not good for her in the long term. “I’ve never been interested in dental office management or secretarial work, but I’ve reflected, and I know that I’ll need a solid understanding of these things to be an effective practitioner. Therefore, I intend to immerse myself in more courses and programs that will increase my proficiency and maybe spark new interest.” This is good, because the student not only cites a deficient area, but she formulates a plan to remedy this blind spot in the future. She shows she’s someone who can bite the bullet, and put in the work even during periods of non-interest.

Where to Get Your UPenn Essays Edited

Do you want feedback on your UPenn essays? After rereading your essays countless times, it can be difficult to evaluate your writing objectively. That’s why we created our free Peer Essay Review tool , where you can get a free review of your essay from another student. You can also improve your own writing skills by reviewing other students’ essays. 

If you want a college admissions expert to review your essay, advisors on CollegeVine have helped students refine their writing and submit successful applications to top schools.  Find the right advisor for you  to improve your chances of getting into your dream school!

Related CollegeVine Blog Posts

Our Services

Admissions Support

US / Ivy League Admissions

UK / Oxbridge Admissions

EU Universities Admissions

Graduate Admissions

Crimson MBA

College Sport Recruitment

Crimson Rise

US Boarding School Program

Indigo Research - 1:1 Mentorship From Top Professors

Essay Review

Crimson Foundation Programs

Online Tutoring

Crimson Global Academy

MedView - Med School Admissions Support

Crimson Internships

Educational Tours

Oxbridge Summer Residential Programs

Our Student Success

Our Reviews

Our Mentors

Meet Our Teams

Student Success

Crimson In the News

Meet our Teams

Careers at Crimson

Crimson Scholarships

Crimson Youth Fund

Crimson Access Opportunity

Te Ara a Kupe Beaton Scholarship

Webinars & Workshops

US College Admissions Calculator

UK University Admissions Calculator

Other Calculators & Converters

SAT/ACT Converter

University Profiles

Practice Standardised Tests New

SAT Practice Tests

ACT Practice Tests

Personal Essay Topic Generator

High School Internships

Summer Apply - Best Summer Programs

Ebooks & Infographics

Student Success Stories

Crimson YouTube Channel

Jamie Beaton ACCEPTED! Book

+971 58 908 2102

Go back to all articles

10 Great Common App Essay Examples From Accepted Students

Prompt 1 Examples

Prompt 2 examples, prompt 3 examples, prompt 5 examples, prompt 6 examples.

When applying to college, few tasks seem as daunting and pivotal as crafting the Common App essay . This personal statement offers more than just a chance to showcase writing skills—it's a unique opportunity to share your story, illuminate your personality, and convince admissions committees that you belong on their campus. At Crimson Education, we understand the challenge and importance of this task. That's why we've compiled a selection of standout essays from past students who have successfully navigated the complexities of the Common App.

In this blog post, we'll dive into real student essays that correspond to this year's prompts. Each essay example is followed by a detailed analysis of what makes it effective, offering insight and inspiration for your writing process. These reviews have been meticulously crafted by our founder, Jamie Beaton, to provide you with expert guidance. Whether you're exploring your background, reflecting on a challenge you've overcome, or sharing a passion that consumes you, these essays serve as a guide to help you craft a narrative as compelling as your journey.

Join us as we explore how these applicants have turned personal anecdotes into acceptance letters and how you can do the same.

Please note: As of now, we do not have any example essays for the newly introduced Prompt 4. We are actively seeking standout essays that address this prompt and will update this blog post as soon as we have some great examples to share.

What Makes a Good Common App Essay Response?

A strong Common App essay should reflect the applicant's unique voice and personal experiences while adhering to the following criteria:

• Writing Quality : The essay should be extremely compelling in language and structure, lyrically written, playful, or artistic in its engagement with the material. It must be well-constructed with clear and coherent sentences.
• Personal Voice : The essay should be written so personally, with descriptions and storytelling so unique, that only the author could have written it.
• Level of Authenticity : Every sentence should be more than just plausible, but remarkably well-conceived and thoughtful. The student should demonstrate a sharp aptitude for connecting their experiences with broader insights or issues.
• Value System : The essay should demonstrate a profound understanding of their personal growth, consistent and abiding humility, and a strong understanding of the value of relationships rather than personal gain.
• Insight : The essay should demonstrate unusually deep insights into the described experience and clearly illustrate a profound takeaway.
• Bonus Points : Essays that successfully discuss a difficult topic or tackle an unusual or extraordinary idea in a compelling and impactful manner can earn bonus points.

Common App Essay Rubric

“Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.”

Mischling meitschi: embracing a multicultural identity.

'Es isch es Meitschi!' My mother always tells the story of her first sight of me. Through an epidural-induced fog, she sees a purple ball held by a doctor screaming, "Es isch es Meitschi!", which translates to "It's a girl!". However, my Caribbean- American mother, having only been in Switzerland for a couple of years and not understanding all of the Swiss-German dialect, heard, "Mischling" - Half-caste - until my Swiss father clarified the correct translation. Now both, "Meitschi" and "Mischling" are accurate, but any form of German screaming is usually terrifying, understandably. As humans, we want to belong: To a piece of earth. To a group of people. To an idea. Every human being feels the need to belong to something. It is why we conform to social expectations and shun people who act outside the norm. When you stem from two different races, two different countries, two different ideas of who you're supposed to be, people tend to struggle with that dichotomy. Thus, my life of being asked, "What are you?" begins. The first time, I was fourteen years old and incredibly confused. Now, I can easily say that I see myself as both, whether it is black and white, American and Swiss, or whatever division I am placed in. I know that I do not act like I am a part of a hip hop music video, but that does not make me any less black. Similarly, I should not have to wear Lederhosen and yodel to prove I am Swiss. Yet, my predilection for multiple identities did not come without its challenges. My struggle with my identity always came from other people. Up until I was about ten years old, I saw myself as a petite Caucasian girl with light brown hair and blue eyes (for the record, that looks absolutely nothing like me). Growing up in Switzerland, a very racially homogeneous country, white was all I saw. Not just the snowy Alpine mountainsides, but also the families that were skiing down them. For most of my childhood, I was unconsciously ignorant of my racial and cultural disposition, even though I was consistently the only person of color in a room. It quickly became a novelty at school that I was fluent in two languages. The first time I remember acknowledging my "complex" racial makeup was when we were visiting family in Barbados, and my dad was the only white person around. Seven-year-old me went up to him and patted his arm: "It's okay, I understand." Now, I have observed being mixed, and multicultural gives me a unique comprehension of different cultural mindsets. It has made it very easy for me to assimilate and understand people's points of view. I'm not inclined to assume a person's identity based upon heritage and ethnicity alone. Making friends and connecting with people is something I've never struggled with. Because people can't immediately tell my heritage, they don't have any preconceptions of me and free themselves to ponder, "Is she one of us?": all to the point when at age five, traveling in Morocco, I would join the kids on the street playing games even though we had no way of communicating. They just assumed I was one of them. These experiences have made me more confident in myself. By never letting myself fall into a single group, I have gotten to know myself well. After hearing "What are you?" enough times, you naturally think about the answer a lot. Being equally both as neither with respect to my identity comes with its prizes and pitfalls, but losing that identity means I would lose what made me a "Mischling Meitschi" in the first place. The interpersonal connections I have made outweigh the several-minute-long explanations of where I'm from and the temporary confusion when asked to tick boxes on my race. Being who I genuinely am requires multiple boxes.

This is a strong personal statement for which I assigned two bonus points. These bonus points represent the student’s discussion of culture and identity in a sophisticated and unoffensive way, as well as the clever intro to the piece. I spoke about the intro to the side of the essay and how its complexities reflect the complexities of the student’s mixed identity. It’s a gripping start to the essay and makes us want to continue reading.

The student also tackles a culture issue in a way that is relatable to others of mixed background and readers on the outside. There is a familiarity of language and tone here that’s refreshing and welcoming. Small asides pull the reader further into the piece and make us invested.

Finally, the student takes abundant time setting the scene and their early life, and it’s well worth it. They provide the reader with adequate context for where they’re coming from, which allows us to be right alongside them on the journey. This is a great way to get your readers invested.

Essay Score

Unraveling Identities: A Journey of Self-Discovery

Opening my window shade, the sun’s rays begin to pierce through the cabin, and the earth below my seat begins to come into focus. With each passing minute, treetops canvassing the landscape and fluorescent road lines begin to peer through the blanketing clouds.    As the scurry of gate preparations intensifies, chatter begins to penetrate the constant hum of the engines. With the cabin coming back to life, I stare at the wings as they cut through clouds and begin to wonder who everybody is.    Since I was a child, I have been obsessed with finding the unique aspects of others’ backgrounds, never ceasing to ask questions and excitedly seek answers. I am always exploring beyond the surface of one’s story, because only in this way can the authentic aspect of identity be unlocked. But, in my quest to understand others, I often find myself revealing who I am.    I am a Panamanian, American, Spaniard, and French boy from the rolling hills of New Hampshire. But, in the U.S., I am a Mexican; in Panama, a Gringo; in Spain, a mestizo; and in France, a Spaniard. No matter where I am, I am instantly forced into a categorical label, whether or not it is true. The prejudices that influence thought often prevent the unfettered interaction that allows for personal disclosure. On a plane, the narrow aisles and occasional turbulence serve as a refuge from thwarting preconceptions below.    Continuing the deceleration, the plane emerges past the final layer of clouds. My eyes lock onto the beauty of the expansive city.   A gentle voice to my side says, “Impressive, isn’t it?”   Ending up seated in the depths of the plane’s final rows, separated from the rest of my family, I was between a talkative Dutch man to my right and a movie-connoisseur Italian to my left. Though the journey began in awkward silence, we quickly found conversation in the ongoing World Cup. The discussion jumped from player statistics, to free-spirited Dutch culture, to the advantages of Neapolitan pizza, eventually ending on the beauty of the coming landscape.    But, they are more than just Dutch or Italian. Hein is a compassionate, bike-riding, lover of medium roast, last of seven siblings, inhabitant of Amsterdam. Antonio is a creative, plant-photographing, Techno-music enthusiast, mathematics-majoring native of Rome. A street-level interaction, a quick glance, would only reveal two white men, one blonde the other black-haired, and I, a dark-skinned boy sporting colorful sneakers.    And I am also more than what my outward appearance displays. Growing up in a multicultural family has made coming to terms with my true identity a process of self-discovery. From my Panamanian heritage, I inherited a steadfast personality that finds value in sacrifice and hard work. My Spanish background teaches me to take life one day at a time, always stopping to enjoy the company of others. My French ancestry instills in me the importance of quality in whatever endeavor I undertake. So, when asked where I’m from, I share beyond the surface; I am an amalgamation of different cultures and ideas.    Being of international roots, I am intrigued by people’s backgrounds beyond the outward portrayals, always seeking to unravel their true selves. Traveling, in its purest form, is my opportunity to discover the stories of my fellow passengers, and for them to do the same with me; it’s a chance to engage with others and explore different perspectives on life. Similarly, the cramped seats of a plane serve as are introspective lens in which I am the viewer and the subject.   As the freshly-paved tarmac whittles the rubber from the plane’s tires, and the violent landing vibrations shake the luggage overhead, I see myself, a hockey-playing, Chipotle-loving, free-thinking idealist, among two hundred constantly-altering narratives. As the plane reaches the gate, I begin to say goodbye to my newfound friends, eagerly awaiting my next transcendent experience from the world at ground level.

This is an extremely thoughtful and well-crafted essay. The author takes a more unconventional approach to the Common App essay, reflecting on his identity as a whole rather than describing one specific event or challenge they experienced. This type of essay is more difficult to get right, but, when done well like it is here, is one that stands out and lets the author’s insight and intellect shine. 

The author begins the essay with a beautifully written description of a plane ride. This is a common way to start a Common App essay, using an anecdote to hook the reader, but the author does it well, artfully describing what they are seeing while also maintaining an element of mystery. It’s not immediately obvious where the author is, which makes the reader want to find out. The author never explicitly says that they are on a plane in these opening paragraphs, but the imagery they’ve crafted makes it clear. This scene, though not the primary subject, will ground the essay and create a framework for the author to explore its main themes. This is also where the 2 bonus points come from, as the author takes something mundane, a plane ride, and crafts a surprisingly thoughtful and profound reflection. 

So, what are the essay’s main themes? In the third paragraph, the author explains their interest in “exploring beyond the surface of one’s story” to unlock “the authentic aspect of identity.” Investigating the nature of identity may seem like an overly intellectual topic for a Common App essay, but the author makes it personal by discussing their own experiences of being stereotyped based on appearance. This essay is about the author and his diverse, complex identity.  

The conversation the author describes serves as an example of the author’s thesis, that people are more than their appearances. Though the author initially defines the two men in simple terms, like others have judged him, he soon gets a more complete understanding of who these men are, listing detailed and specific characteristics. The author then does the same for the reader, giving them deeper insight into his own identity and upbringing. 

The author makes a smart decision in the final two paragraphs, shifting the focus from himself to his relationships with others. Instead of expressing a desire for others to understand him, which would seem self-centered, the author wants to gain a deeper understanding of other people and their perspectives, highlighting his empathy and desire to learn/grow. By expressing an interest in learning about other people in the future, the author subtly alludes to his future college experience, where he will meet a diverse variety of people.

“The lessons we take from obstacles we encounter can be fundamental to later success. Recount a time when you faced a challenge, setback, or failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience?”

Breaking barriers: finding connection through water.

As I threw open the pool's thick metal doors, the pungent aroma of chlorine swaddled me like a wet blanket around a shivering newborn. The scent was pervasive during my year-long stint on the swimming and diving team, when the fame I'd imagined for myself as a freshman remained just out of reach. As I stepped along the slimy pool deck, I brought my focus back to the reason I had revived my failed athletic career.   [Name redacted] and I met through my school's Best Buddies Club, which connects students with and without developmental disabilities. The students' excitement as they jumped up to greet me every morning drew me into a community that made their own happiness in a world that often met them with judgment. But while  limited mobility and reliance on a communication device made conversation challenging, these were small setbacks compared to the fact that he seemed to want nothing to do with me. We made bracelets, holiday cards, paper mache flowers, and decorated cookies, but these encounters lasted mere minutes before he'd gesture for his aide to retrieve him.    I had nearly given up on our friendship when a teacher suggested we participate in a scuba dive organized for our school's students with disabilities. At first, all I could imagine were the new ways in which would be able to ignore me in another location - the pool.    Growing up less than a mile from Lake Michigan, I've always been attracted to the water. The first time I swam, pushing the soft water back and forth between my hands and feeling self-assurance I never experienced on land, I felt I'd touched freedom. I was liberated from being the only gay kid in a small elementary school, from constantly being made to fit into a mold when it came to my sexuality and beliefs. Everywhere I ventured, my peers insisted they knew aspects of me I hadn't explored myself. Their constant questioning of my identity - commenting on my favorite floral sweatshirt as I walked down the hallway and describing my love for classical music as "feminine" - occupied an enormous space in my brain at a time when I should have been finding answers for myself. Those brief moments of underwater clarity helped me retreat from all the boxes the world set out for me, washing away everyone's expectations like a tide smoothing out the sand when it crashes onto the beach. Every time I left the water, I felt a piece of my identity had solidified.   So perhaps I shouldn't have been surprised by what experienced in his first swim. As his aide and I unstrapped him from the wheelchair where he spent the majority of his days, bits of food and old pieces of paper from past art projects fell to the ground. Terror filled eyes as the security of his chair was stripped away, but the warm embrace of the water flowing around his limbs immediately calmed him as we gently lowered him into the pool. For a brief moment, his eyes locked onto mine and we shared our excitement.    Though it was fleeting, our glance taught me an invaluable lesson. Until that point, I hadn't tried to connect with  on anything but a superficial level. Our art projects were motivated by sincerity, but they offered no channel for and I to share something we mutually loved. Letting his fingers glide along the water's surface, I helped him float for the next thirty minutes in an uninterrupted state of bliss that can only be experienced by someone who has been confined for so long - a feeling I was able to understand. By sharing something that helped me come to terms with my identity, I was able to connect with him on a deeper level, one where we both felt free.

This is a good example of a personal, well-written essay. The author takes a fine topic, working with a disabled student, and makes it even more meaningful by connecting it to their own personal experiences. Not only does the essay show the author’s selflessness, but it also gives the reader insight into their identity and past struggles.

One of the strongest aspects of this essay is the author’s use of language. Whether describing the pool, the sensation of swimming, or the student’s descent into the water, the reader can fully understand the author’s experiences.  Each paragraph has specific details or examples, like the different Best Buddies Club activities or ways the author was bullied, that make the essay personal and unique to the author. The author shows the reader what they have experienced, rather than telling them.

The author has structured their essay well, beginning with a scene that sets up the essay’s purpose--to explain what inspired his return to swimming. This opening paragraph also establishes the author’s experience with swimming, which is crucial to understanding the rest of the essay.  Then, the author begins the essay’s narrative, introducing the Best Buddies Club and the essay’s conflict--his inability to connect with the student. 

What really makes this essay, and gives it the 3 bonus points, is the fourth paragraph, in which the author discusses his own relationship with swimming. Though the author starts by describing how swimming made them feel, they seamlessly transition to explaining swimming’s importance and reflecting on the challenges they faced growing up queer. By doing this, the author both makes the essay more personal, revealing how this experience is more than just sharing a hobby with the student, and gives the reader a much more intimate understanding of who they are and have overcome, without interrupting the narrative flow. The author does not overstate or exaggerate the challenges they went through, but describes it in a straightforward and honest way.

The author closes the essay by reflecting on what they have gained from this experience. By looking to his own experiences, the author was able to connect and empathize with the student, and help them break free of the constraints of their disability. What could have improved this already strong essay would have been a deeper and more introspective analysis of what the author learned from this experience. Rather than just focusing on how they helped the student, which could appear a bit self-centered, the author could have described how this experience has helped them grow or become a better person. This would have been the perfect opportunity to return to the opening paragraph, and discuss his return to swimming.

Building Lessons: The Journey of Assembling My IKEA Shelf

Sam Gosling said in Snoop that your room is a reflection of the inside of your mind. Every chaotic piece of paper cluttering your living space represents an idea created inside that lump of grey matter. However, sometimes each of those neurons pile up and need to be organised. And so, as I walked past my Yamaha upright with sporadic piles of music and the dusty mounds of 1900s CDs, I realised: "I really need a shelf." Just like any other creative with a penchant for mispronouncing Swedish, I went to IKEA and found a beautiful, white, open-backed cabinet that resonated with my desire for sophisticated simplicity. The trouble started when the box arrived home. Late at night, I started hacking it open with a knife and scratched the unblemished white surface of my cabinet. A well-worn truism reverberated between my ears: Precision was key. "Lesson learned," I thought. "But no one cares about a single scratch." I tried to rationalise my mistake; my decision grated against my perfectionism, but at least the scratch reminded me to approach even menial tasks with care. Then I embarked on the task, spurred by the tantalising satisfaction of building it without instructions (I have a tendency to add unnecessary challenges to see just how far I can push myself). Ten minutes later, I was in the hall balancing the cabinet between the wall and my knee. The shelves were in, and now all I needed was the top, a humble piece of flat timber. And the struts that hold it together. And the plethora of screws littered around me; surely they were spares. Just as I slotted the crowning piece onto my slightly lopsided shelf, the "Leaning Tower of Pisa" finally collapsed. The screws I had put in bent. I guess I would be needing those spares. The little wooden bits meant to keep the shelf stable snapped, and the middle panel had a hole ripped through its centre, as if Australia's very own Wolverine had ripped his claws up the side of my shelf. At first, I felt anger at my ineptitude, then despair and denial. Every stage of grief towards the magnificent project I thought I had completed flashed through my brain. My frustration had peaked. The collapsed shelves had defeated me, but the niggling voice at the back of my mind, which guides all my movements, said: "Hey, you could have done this better. You have to try again." The next day, after a meditative break, I was back, more determined and clear minded than ever. I embarked once again on the construction, without the instructions, but with the shelf lying horizontally on the floor. My determination to challenge myself had not yet swayed. By the end of the hour, I had a working shelf, that didn't look like the diagram but was able to support books. I needed to try again. I started again with the instructions and built a working, sturdy shelf that looked as though it could be printed in the IKEA catalogue- so long as they photoshop out the extra scratches. "Well, what's the moral? She used the instructions." Yes, I did use the instructions. Yes, I did have to remake the shelf three times. But every single mistake in those three attempts was a lesson I can use in the future. In every moment, I gained a greater understanding of the way parts fit together. Every time I looked at the instructions I realised I didn't need to carve my own path single-handedly; instead there was a lot of merit from building the work of those before me and taking their ideas to grow even more. And, at the very worst, at the end of it all, at least the chaotic pieces of paper were no longer on the floor.

This piece is quite unique. You see a lot of essays about profound trips to foreign countries or significant confessions in relationships, and the reason you see those topics a lot is because they make for great personal statements. What this student did here, though, was go against the grain and write about a seemingly boring topic with wit, sophistication, self- and reader-awareness, and humor. The use of monologue in this piece, and the seemingly profound introduction, both function beautifully here. The former adds to the colloquial nature of the essay, and the latter gives the rest of the piece room to subvert the expectation of where an essay with that introduction would likely go. This essay keeps you on your toes with its unexpected charm.

One of the best qualities of this essay is how content dictates form. By this, I mean that the step-by-step process of building a desk is also reflected in the step-by-step emotional journey we take with the student as they decide to purchase, assemble, fail, assemble again, fail again, and finally read the directions. You could almost imagine this scene playing out in a sitcom (I clearly imagined Zooey Deschanel in New Girl ) with the self-aware backtalk and subtle self-deprecation. 

To be clear, if you have a profound story you want to tell of a life-changing experience that you wish to share, you should absolutely do that. You should write about what interests you and the story you want to tell! However, if you find yourself struck more by the style of this piece, don’t feel like you need to be bound to typical sophistication and significance. Have fun writing about an IKEA shelf!

What I wrote about for my Common App Essay

“Reflect on a time when you questioned or challenged a belief or idea. What prompted your thinking? What was the outcome?”

The value of uncertainty: a journey from atheism to inquiry.

My parents are what you might call aggressive atheists. They’re not aggressive people, but when it comes to atheism, they’re no-holds-barred, pull-no-punches crusaders. No child of theirs was going to believe in a man in the sky- I was positioned towards disbelief from a very young age. This made it difficult for me to understand why I was sent to a school that featured weekly Religious Education lessons. My parents joke now that they simply wanted longer conversations to ensue when they asked me how my day was, but I suspect there was more to it. Their decision to give me a choice — or, at least, to show me the options — is something I’ve only recently begun to fully appreciate. At the time, though, it felt like a serious hassle. During these sessions, my classmates and I huddled cross- legged on the floor as our chaplain tried to make the concept of the Holy Trinity seem fun and relatable rather than intimidating. None of it made sense to me, yet I remember occasionally thinking that the story was so peculiar, so specific, that perhaps it may actually have been true. Most Tuesdays, though, I would come home and complain to my parents about the absurdity of the lesson. One afternoon, I opened the front door to find my grandfather, Morfar, sitting at the dining-room table, eating and chatting with my parents. Slinging my bag into my room, I raced to join them. Morfar, a retired headmaster, was always ready to outwit me with tangles of logic puzzles and math problems, the sparkle in his eyes growing brighter as I grew more frustrated. I began to babble enthusiastically, eager to show off my superior understanding of Christianity’s flaws. But as I prattled on, Morfar’s usual interjections were not there; instead, he simply gazed at me. After about a minute, he furrowed his eyebrows, and my heart skipped a beat. My words abruptly dried up into silence. It had never occurred to me that my grandfather, a man for whom I had the utmost respect, might be religious. Morfar, adjusting his glasses, broke the silence. He asked me to fetch my new cricket ball. I obeyed without question, mortified, terrified, and excited. I returned to the table and put the ball into his hand. He looked at it for a moment and said, “Jasper, what would happen to the ball if I took it home right now?” I paused, scanning for tricks. “I guess there’d be an extra ball at your house…” He leaned forward. “But now the ball isn’t where it’s supposed to be! Why is that?” “Because you took it…” I said, unsure of myself. He darted another question at me. “Jasper, why is the Earth where it is, so perfectly placed to allow us to live? A reason, a cause and effect for its position, the way there is for everything else?” The mystery of it intrigues and beguiles me to this day. It reminds me never to be too sure of myself and never to underestimate the value of uncertainty in forcing inquiry and serious thought. Since that day, I had many more debates with Morfar and my parents about religion, sometimes broaching topics as far-reaching as artificial intelligence and the nature of consciousness itself. Christianity has acted as a springboard for me to launch myself into new ways of critical thinking and new avenues of philosophy - something I value equally as highly as the peace and security it brings to others. While I cannot share my grandfather’s confidence, the freedom to converse and wonder together — the ability to question — brought us closer and became part of my foundation as an inquisitive, open, and often skeptical person. I understand now what people see in religion and God: a plan, a reason, an answer. I haven’t found mine yet, but I treasure the search.

This essay is packed with playful adjectives, active verbs, and flourishes of personality that make it come alive. At its core is a pretty serious investigation of religious beliefs, but the writer’s active style really portrays levity, openness, and curiosity--precisely the qualities that the speaker’s parents hoped to instill in them by encouraging open religious dialogue.

Despite describing their parents and grandfather as strong personalities, the writer is not entirely beholden to either’s set of beliefs. This impressive combination of openness and self-resolve emerges naturally from both the speaker’s chosen anecdotes and also from their voice itself. Both qualities are certainly things that admissions officers look for in successful applicants!

Challenging Tradition: Paving the Way for Gender Equality in an All-Boys School

Oh, are you sure this is what you want to do? There are plenty of other great project ideas you could work on." As I left my design teacher's office having presented a concept for a female-only cycling race, I was both disappointed and confused. I envisioned an opportunity to bring classmates together from my all-boys school to commemorate the steps society had taken to increase gender equality by creating a race in a traditionally male-dominatedsport. As I approached the deadline for submitting the project proposal for my Year 11 design portfolio, I was left without assurance but even more determination to press forward. The next day, I returned, determined to convince my teacher. Yet again, I was met with his pursed lips and furled forehead. Although I couldn't understand his hesitancy, with deadlines approaching I decided to stick with my original idea and start working away at it. Just a few days later during a lunch break, I found myself holding back, as my friends tossed around objectifying comments about a girl they had seen earlier that day on the street. Looking back at that moment, I realized how immune I had become to the sexism that permeated my school . If even I was not willing to stand against it, I realized that, in the eyes of my teacher, my idea of celebrating women had no place at my school. What did female empowerment and success have to do within an al/­ boys school? As I began to realize that my idea didn't "represent" the school or its values of taking boys and turning them into strong men, my teacher"s rejection began to take shape in my mind. The idea that female success and spirit could be celebrated amongst and by a school populated entirely by boys didn't have a place in "a school that understands boys" - our motto. This simply wasn't part of the culture we had been taught to uphold. So ingrained in the schools tradition that to challenge this identity with something as small as a portfolio project was to stand against a belief that the school had forever embraced. I realized, my school had become so caught up in respecting a history of male-dominated teaching, an exclusively-male learning environment, for ultimately a male-dominated society, that we had put aside our ability to achieve a world of equal opportunity for all. Nevertheles,sI loved my school and didn't want its inability to grapple with change impede its future success. Recalling my portfolio idea, I realized I had an opportunity to create the change I sought; a culture, embracing every person, regardless of gender. I met with fellow school leaders and in making them aware of the lunch break topic I had witnessed, I asked them all to think about what if that objectified girl was their sister or a loved one. The boys fell quiet and it was then, collectively we decided that a change had to occur. Together, we mobilized to develop a legacy project for the school. We pursued active change to create an atmosphere of cohesion and collective respect for all men and women. Speeches, guest speakers and group discussions were held to ensure that every boy not only understood the message we were trying to elucidate, but also realized the nature of the culture we had come to accept. And progressively, we saw change. Sexist comments became more scarce and boys began to realize the derogatory nature of their prior speech. Change is uncomfortable; change is slow - and the mental shift I catalyzed may not be embraced for generations to come. But it is ever more my hope that after having started the change, future leaders and teachers will choose to embrace it.

This essay is so impressive because of the author’s willingness to examine and critique their own assumptions and behaviors. Admissions readers love to learn about students that are willing to question and push their understanding of what is right--this author really communicates that adaptability by taking us through their journey of promoting female empowerment within an all-male context.

At first, the speaker seems to want to draw our attention to their persistence --their idea for an all-female cycling race is questioned, but the speaker has a ‘determination to press forward’. It quickly becomes clear, though, that this determination is not the quality that the speaker is highlighting in this essay--instead it is their adaptability and their willingness to revise their beliefs and assumptions. By the all-italics question at the end of the fifth paragraph, we are starting to see the author’s impressive level of self-inquiry.

By shelving their idea for a race and instead promoting gender-equitable actions that are more needed in their community, the author shows the maturity, self-awareness, and willingness to change that admissions readers love to see.

“Discuss an accomplishment, event, or realization that sparked a period of personal growth and a new understanding of yourself or others.”

Empowering through code: my journey in teaching and growth.

It's December 2018. I have a calculus midterm in a week, but as I walk into the library, I am not here to study. I descend to the familiar small, dimly-lit room in the basement. I rearrange tables, set up the projector, and distribute laptops. I anxiously rummage through my notes as I wait for the girls to trickle into the room. The first girl enters, clinging to her mom. Then other girls arrive, likewise, hiding behind their mothers, as I try to encourage mingling amongst the group. I attempt to conceal my anxiousness with a facade of hyper-enthusiasm. I move towards the podium, and while I have often taken my place in front of it, today I stand behind it, muster my brightest smile and begin to teach my first computer science class. Coding is the metaphysical barrier between the outside world and virtual world. On my own, coding allows me to be in my "bubble." Using the same loops and conditionals I teach about, I am able to transcend one world and enter another. Yet when I give myself the task of presenting these same coding principles to the young girls before me, my bubble collapses, and I exit my comfort zone. Nevertheless, I feel compelled to teach coding classes to as many girls as I can reach to instill in them the confidence that coding can generate within oneself, and the subsequent empowerment that can draw more young women into technology. My desire to host coding classes has been brewing for years. It is a perfect medley of my quest for opportunities to serve my community and my passion for computer science. My emphasis on specifically teaching girls stems from a recognition of the lack of girls participating in tech-related endeavors. In High School, I have taken computer science classes with three or fewer girls, and in robotics, I have entered competitions flooded with all-boys teams while struggling to find all-girls teams other than my own. As my team advances from our hometown competitions to regional competitions, to World Championships with 40,000 attendees, I am perplexed as girls in robotics are only speckled through the sea of boys competing. This lack of representation fuels my fire to host more workshops and have an impact upon younger girls so they will see themselves participating within future teams. At times, I have felt the need to prove my worth to others, as if being a girl implies inferiority. Through robotics, I have not only learned how to approach real-world problems with innovative engineering solutions, but also to be an advocate for myself and others. For me, I refuse to be complicit in perpetuating the gender stereotype that I have endured. I know that not every girl will want to join robotics, or even continue to learn computer science, and that's okay. At the very least, I want to emphasize that despite any barrier, coding is something they can do; if my all-girls team can compete our way to World Championships, they can accomplish whatever they choose to pursue. It's June 2019. I have become familiar with the basements of many libraries across Long Island, and today is my latest stop. I descend to a modestly sized room with fluorescent lighting. I iterate through my routine: introduce the coding concept of that day's lesson, run through the curriculum I have meticulously prepared down to each minute, field any questions, provide guidance, and talk to each girl. At the end of the class, when a mother and her daughter excitedly approach me to say that they have registered for robotics, the hyper-enthusiasm I consistently exude is no longer a facade. My message has reached at least one girl, encouraging me to reach the rest. With dozens of girls taught thus far, and more workshop planning underway, I am confident that my efforts have only just begun.

This essay, about the author’s coding education program, is an insightful look into the author’s interests and values. Not only does the essay show how the author has grown as a result of teaching coding, but it demonstrates the author’s passion for empowering young girls in technology, a timely social issue. The author strikes the rare balance of highlighting and celebrating her accomplishments without seeming self-centered or disingenuous.

The author effectively structures the essay, beginning with their description of her first coding class. While working to grab the reader’s attention, the first paragraph also creates a useful framework to show her personal growth--the final paragraph uses the same structure, allowing the reader to easily draw comparisons and see how much their program and teaching abilities have grown. This structural symmetry makes the essay cohesive and balanced.

While the first and last paragraphs work to illustrate the author’s growth, the middle paragraphs provide the reader with insight into the author’s motivations and values. In these paragraphs, the author is able to reflect on her own experiences with coding, first describing why she enjoys coding and how she decided to begin teaching. She describes her own past experiences in robotics and the lack of girls’ participation in competitions, to show the reader where her passion for women’s representation in technology comes from. The author could have strengthened their insight here by providing a more detailed description of her experiences in robotics, and how she was stereotyped or marginalized.

The fourth paragraph is arguably the essay’s strongest, as the author’s personal voice is clear and compelling. She explains how being a minority in robotics has made her feel inferior at times, and as though she needs to prove herself. Though she has learned to advocate for herself, she does not want other girls to feel as she did. The author decides to take action and address the problem by providing girls the opportunity to learn to code. Unlike other essays that point to a vague sense of wanting to help others, this author is driven by a clear, personal mission to empower girls in her service work.

The final thing to note is the essay’s conclusion. While the author has realized their goal of teaching and inspiring girls to pursue robotics, they are not satisfied or feel their work is complete. This is an example of their strong value system, as the author wants to continue to help as many girls as possible.

Mastering Time: Lessons from an Apple Tree and My Uncle's Legacy

Last summer, on a rare sunny day in Dunedin, New Zealand, I sat underneath the apple tree in my garden and pondered time. As I looked around, my eyes followed the dandelions drifting back and forth, up and down, while the distracting buzz of bees flying provided a low cacophony of sound in the background. At this moment, everything seemed so tangible, so graspable to me. Space all around me had character – each floating dandelion just a fingertip away. I wondered if there was a way to touch the fourth dimension I’d learnt from my physics class – a dimension that permeates our very existence. What if we could change time like we do space? What if we could reverse or expand time, as if it were the blossoming sunflowers unfolding a few feet from where I was sitting? Jordan could be hitting his Game 6 shot in Salt Lake City at that very moment, or I could be watching Liu hurdle past the competition in the bright lights of Athens. I could even have endless admissions officers read this essay, after I’d taken all the time in the world to make it a masterpiece worthy of Shakespeare. With time on my hands, the world would be my oyster. Then, I heard my mother’s voice calling and the smell of freshly cooked rice wafted through the garden, breaking my pleasant fantasy. Time, at that moment felt so constricting, as its passage returned to the rhythmic progression of meals. How ironic that while I was thinking about times’ wonders, this afternoon was time I will never get back. Time, in all its unlimited wonders, is used up as we continue our journey through life. In the space of a week, my future time radically shifted. My mother received news that my uncle, who I had looked up to all my life both literally and metaphorically, was gone. I had expected my life to change exponentially. But time kept ticking along the same way it always had, nudging me through the familiar sounds of a basketball clanking off the rim each day, sore forearms from volleyballs thumped, and the daily routine of homework and exams. Yet, throughout all of this, my uncle’s optimistic outlook on life - holding close the people who cared and things that mattered, letting go of unprecedented worry or unnecessary negativity, remained vividly embedded in me. His smile while talking to me, even as his business prospects were looking bleak, will stay with me forever. Time, in all its infinite glory, is a finite arbitrary construct, compartmentalised by society into quantifiable sections. Unequivocally appreciating the “compartments” that I have left, just as my uncle did with his life, is my way of claiming back time with him. Looking back, hyper focusing on a moment meant I often missed the true splendour of the bigger picture. Events such as re-biking the New Zealand Rail Trail senior year after being scarred, both figuratively and literally, from crashing severely in middle school, made me realise how much I truly missed, simply by taking a glass half empty view. Living in a quaint southern Kiwi city also meant things were often uneventful. Before when the weather would pass through four seasons in a day I’d often find it annoying, going from bright blue skies, to pouring hail, to briefly vivid rainbows, to gusts of wind through the night. By focusing on the positive, I began to appreciate what a wacky and peculiar sight this was – nowhere else would I get to live these moments. Constantly reconsidering and reframing previously ignored or unpleasant experiences is part of the legacy my uncle left me. As Shakespeare wrote, “let every man be master of his time.” With time, I know that each and every day is something of wonder, something of appreciation, something meaningful and over which my approach can irrevocably shape my perceptions.

This essay is an excellent example of how being specific and detailed – showing and not telling – can be especially effective.

The writer of this piece has very good instincts. Not only does he show his thought process, but he uses specific details in order to both balance the writing and translate his perceptions into accessible but original descriptions.

An author chooses to show and not tell to both evoke emotion and relay to the reader an experience that is important to the narrative.

An example of using this method is in the second to last paragraph, in which the narrator describes his specific observations:

“Before when the weather would pass through four seasons in a day I’d often find it annoying, going from bright blue skies, to pouring hail, to briefly vivid rainbows, to gusts of wind through the night. By focusing on the positive, I began to appreciate what a wacky and peculiar sight this was – nowhere else would I get to live these moments.”

Instead of simply telling the reader that he began to appreciate things in a way he had not before, he shows us through the details – using all five senses – so that we are guided through the prose and feel what the writer is asking us to. If he simply told us that he began to experience his surroundings differently than he had before, we would not be able to see the experience through his eyes, and we wouldn’t know the weight that the moment carried, or understand how he – specifically – processed these new ideas.

“Describe a topic, idea, or concept you find so engaging that it makes you lose all track of time. Why does it captivate you? What or who do you turn to when you want to learn more?”

The journey of the rubik's cube: embracing the process of problem-solving.

The moment I laid eyes on the cube, it was as if nothing else mattered. I remember my uncle explaining something about top row corners, but I was already turning the Rubik's cube in my hands around, wondering how its variegated faces could be aligned to create uniform color blocks. Every night for the next week, I would just spin the cube around, hoping that a solution would pop into my head. I started by attempting to align three cubes of one color - but the more I twisted the faces around, the more the colors seemed to scramble. I even tried randomly flicking the rows and columns back and forth, hoping to stumble upon a pattern, but nothing came to mind. I begged my classmates to solve the cube hoping to memorize their tactics, and spent my breaks watching other people solve cubes online, transfixed by the many versions of this puzzle I found. This was to no avail, as the cube remained unsolved. But it wasn't until I realized that I needed to figure out a strategy that worked for me and focus on one face at a time, rather than everything all at once, that I began to make some progress on the cube. By the end of the month, I was able to align 7 out of 9 cubes on one face. I had taught myself a new technique, and while it had not led to a complete success, it was a breakthrough all the same. It's been nine years since the day I was gifted the Rubik's cube, and I still have not been able to solve it. I suspect I never will. But I always come back to this problem not because of a relentless desire to solve or prove anything, but because I love the process of problem-solving. There is something special about being in a situation where I am not expected to immediately find a solution, and have time to examine a task from different angles and attempt to complete it in a multitude of ways. It is not the need to reach the final solution that drives me, but rather the knowledge that every bit of progress I make gives me a better understanding of the puzzle and contributes to my learning. When I approach daunting tasks, I ground myself by breaking down the problem and trying different approaches. Getting stuck is not a failure - rather, it is an opportunity to retrace my steps and figure out what went wrong. Success is not defined by how many problems I am able to solve, or how good I am at things, but rather how resilient I am and how willing I am to learn. There is a sense of contentment that accompanies the wonder I feel whenever I open up the educational digital program I have been working on for the past year. There is wonder in my uncertainty about how things are going to turn out, the fact that I don't know if I will achieve the ideal result this time - if today will finally be the day I crack the code. I have tried many programming languages and platforms to recreate the designs and prototypes I have created, although I have not yet been successful in my attempts. But before when I would have shied away from the uncertainty of my success, I now embrace it. I still find myself fiddling with my Rubik's cube during my free time because there is something to be said by finding those silver linings, those invaluable lessons in my relentless attempts to figure it out. Every so often I find delight in a breakthrough I've made, a technique I've finally learned or a piece that slotted in exactly where it needed to be. These small victories are meaningless in the larger scope of the world, but to me, they mean everything.

This is a fantastic example of an essay that draws importance and sincerity out of a commonplace experience. Many kids play with Rubik’s Cubes--the author is also not a world-record-breaking cube solver. But they use the Cube to do some serious self-analysis--in examining why they are attached to the puzzle, what they like about it, and how they went about approaching solutions, the author shows how they exhibit persistence, adaptability, and rigor in pursuing their interests.

The sentence, “Success is not defined by how many problems I am able to solve, or how good I am at things, but rather how resilient I am and how willing I am to learn” represents the essay’s most significant observation. In equating success with resiliency instead of achievement , the speaker shows great maturity. In college, students are challenged--they will also see students around them achieving in a variety of ways. Pursuing and embodying resiliency instead of chasing achievement at all costs makes for a healthy student experience full of learning!

More Examples?

To see even more examples, download our free ebook, the US Personal Essay Master Guide , which features 50 examples of Common App essays of students admitted into top universities! Additionally, check out our database of successful Common App Applications to read essays for each individual school!

About the Contributor

Jamie Beaton

Jamie Beaton is the Co-founder and CEO of Crimson Education. With degrees from Harvard, Oxford, Stanford, Yale, and Tsinghua, Jamie is an educational innovator passionate about helping students reach their academic potential. He co-founded Crimson after gaining admission to 25 of the world's top universities. Under his leadership, Crimson has become the world's most successful university admissions consultancy, helping thousands gain entry into the Ivy League and other elite institutions.

More Articles

How to answer the 2024-25 common app essay prompts.

What Would Megan Fox's (Hypothetical) Harvard Essay Look Like?

Unleashing Creativity in Research: How High Schoolers Can Find Unique and Engaging Research Topics

Discover Personalized Topics for Your College Admissions Essay

Find unique college essay topics that reflect your story with our tool

Essays and Short Answer Prompts

The Penn application process includes a personal essay —which is sent to most schools you apply to—as well as a few short answer prompts . We read your words carefully, as they are yet another window into how you think, what you value, and how you see the world. Through your writing, we get a glimpse of what you might bring to our community—including your voice and creativity. 

Remember, you are the expert on your story. This is an opportunity for you to reflect and understand who you are now, and who you want to be in the future. You have the agency to choose the information you want to share. This is your story: your experiences, your ideas, your perspective.   

A Few Writing Tips

• Review the prompts thoroughly.  Be sure you’re answering the question or prompt being asked. Topics are chosen because the Admissions Committee wants to know specific things about you. If you don’t address them directly, we are left to make decisions regarding your application with incomplete information. 
• Consider your response carefully.  We understand that you may be writing responses for different schools and you may want to reuse material, but be sure to read through your response to make sure it is relevant to the prompt. 
• Double-check your writing.  Give yourself time to revisit your response. Try to avoid rushing your writing process so you have time to revise your work. Ultimately, it is up to you to polish and proofread your writing before you submit. 
• Do your research. Are there classes you’re eager to take? Research opportunities you’d love to pursue? A group or club you want to be a part of? This kind of specificity shows us you’re serious about Penn and have thought about how you’d spend your time here. 

2023-24 Short Answer and Essay Prompts

When answering these prompts, be precise when explaining both why you are applying to Penn and why you have chosen to apply to that specific undergraduate school. Some of our specialized programs will have additional essays to complete, but the  Penn short answer prompts should address your single-degree or single-school choice.  

• Write a short thank-you note to someone you have not yet thanked and would like to acknowledge. (We encourage you to share this note with that person, if possible, and reflect on the experience!) (150-200 words, not required for transfer applicants) 
• How will you explore community at Penn? Consider how Penn will help shape your perspective, and how your experiences and perspective will help shape Penn. (150-200 words) 
• The school-specific prompt is unique to the school to which you are applying. (For example, all applicants applying to the College of Arts and Sciences will respond to the prompt under the “College of Arts and Sciences” section). Considering the undergraduate school you have selected for your single-degree option, please respond to your school-specific prompt below.  

Transfer Essay (required for all transfer applicants): Please explain your reasons for transferring from your current institution and what you hope to gain by transferring to another institution. (4150 characters) 

Undergraduate School-Specific Short Answer Prompts

For students applying to coordinated dual-degree and specialized programs, please answer this question about your single-degree school choice; your interest in the coordinated dual-degree or specialized program may be addressed through the program-specific essay.  

Penn Nursing intends to meet the health needs of society in a global and multicultural world by preparing its students to impact healthcare by advancing science and promoting equity. What do you think this means for the future of nursing, and how do you see yourself contributing to our mission of promoting equity in healthcare? (150-200 words) 

To help inform your response, applicants are encouraged to learn more about  Penn Nursing’s mission and how we promote equity in healthcare . This information will help you develop a stronger understanding of our values and how they align with your own goals and aspirations. 

The flexible structure of The College of Arts and Sciences’ curriculum is designed to inspire exploration, foster connections, and help you create a path of study through general education courses and a major. What are you curious about and how would you take advantage of opportunities in the arts and sciences? (150-200 words) 

To help inform your response, applicants are encouraged to learn more about the  academic offerings within the College of Arts and Sciences .  This information will help you develop a stronger understanding of how the study of the liberal arts aligns with your own goals and aspirations. 

Wharton prepares its students to make an impact by applying business methods and economic theory to real-world problems, including economic, political, and social issues.  Please reflect on a current issue of importance to you and share how you hope a Wharton education would help you to explore it.  (150-200 words) 

To help inform your response, applicants are encouraged to learn more about  the foundations of a Wharton education . This information will help you better understand what you could learn by studying at Wharton and what you could do afterward. 

Penn Engineering prepares its students to become leaders in technology, by combining a strong foundation in the natural sciences and mathematics, exploration in the liberal arts, and depth of study in focused disciplinary majors. Please share how you hope to explore your engineering interests at Penn. (150-200 words) 

To help inform your response, applicants are encouraged to learn more about  Penn Engineering and its mission to prepare students for global leadership in technology . This information will help you develop a stronger understanding of academic pathways within Penn Engineering and how they align with your goals and interests. 

Coordinated Dual Degree and Specialized Program Essay Prompts

For students applying to coordinated dual-degree and specialized programs, please answer the program-specific essay below. 

** Numbers marked with double asterisks indicate a character count that only applies to transfer students applying through Common App.  

Why are you interested in the Digital Media Design (DMD) program at the University of Pennsylvania? (400-650 words / 3575 characters**) 

We encourage you to learn more about the DMD: Digital Media Design Program . 

The Huntsman Program supports the development of globally minded scholars who become engaged citizens, creative innovators, and ethical leaders in the public, private, and non-profit sectors in the United States and internationally. What draws you to a dual-degree program in business and international studies, and how would you use what you learn to contribute to a global issue where business and international affairs intersect? (400-650 words) 

The LSM program aims to provide students with a fundamental understanding of the life sciences and their management with an eye to identifying, advancing, and implementing innovations. What issues would you want to address using the understanding gained from such a program? Note that this essay should be distinct from your single degree essay. (400-650 words) 

• Explain how you will use the M&T program to explore your interest in business, engineering, and the intersection of the two. (400-650 words) 
• Describe a problem that you solved that showed leadership and creativity. (250 words) 

Describe your interests in modern networked information systems and technologies, such as the internet, and their impact on society, whether in terms of economics, communication, or the creation of beneficial content for society. Feel free to draw on examples from your own experiences as a user, developer, or student of technology. (400-650 words / 3575 characters**) 

Discuss your interest in nursing and health care management. How might Penn's coordinated dual-degree program in nursing and business help you meet your goals? (400-650 words) 

How do you envision your participation in the Vagelos Integrated Program in Energy Research (VIPER) furthering your interests in energy science and technology? Please include any past experiences (ex. academic, research, or extracurricular) that have led to your interest in the program. Additionally, please indicate why you are interested in pursuing dual degrees in science and engineering and which VIPER majors are most interesting to you at this time. (400-650 words) 

Choose Your Test

• Search Blogs By Category
• College Admissions
• AP and IB Exams
• GPA and Coursework

5 Tips for Writing a Great UPenn Essay

College Essays

The University of Pennsylvania requires all first year applicants to submit a personal essay as well as a Penn-specific essay. If you're hoping to be one of the 6% of students admitted to Penn every year, your UPenn essay is an important part of your application. You'll need to make sure your essays are strong to increase your chances of admission.

In this article, we'll go over the UPenn essay logistics—covering exactly what you need to write for each college you're applying to at UPenn. Then, we'll break down each prompt, offering suggestions for what to write about. Finally, we'll give tips on how to write an amazing UPenn essay that'll help you get into your dream school.

What Are the UPenn Essay Prompts?

If you're applying to UPenn, you must submit your application to one of UPenn's four undergraduate schools. Depending on which undergraduate program you're applying to, you'll need to answer UPenn's specific statements as well as an additional essay for that school.

There are three required short answer prompts for this year’s UPenn application. The first is:

Write a short thank-you note to someone you have not yet thanked and would like to acknowledge. (We encourage you to share this note with that person, if possible, and reflect on the experience!) (150-200 words)

UPenn's second essay prompt for all students is:

How will you explore community at Penn? Consider how Penn will help shape your perspective and identity, and how your identity and perspective will help shape Penn. (150-200 words)

And, finally, the third prompt:

Considering the specific undergraduate school you have selected, describe how you intend to explore your academic and intellectual interests at the University of Pennsylvania. (150-200 words)

Depending on the undergraduate program you're applying to, you may have to write an additional essay as part of your application. Here are those additional essay prompts and the program for which they apply:

• Please list pre-dental or pre-medical experience. This experience can include but is not limited to observation in a private practice, dental clinic, or hospital setting; dental assisting; dental laboratory work; dental or medical research, etc. Please include time allotted to each activity, dates of attendance, location, and description of your experience. If you do not have any pre-dental or pre-medical experience, please indicate what you have done that led you to your decision to enter dentistry.
• List any activities which demonstrate your ability to work with your hands.
• What activities have you performed that demonstrate your ability to work cooperatively with people?
• Please explain your reasons for selecting a career in dentistry. Please include what interests you the most in dentistry as well as what interests you the least.
• Do you have relatives who are dentists or are in dental school? If so, indicate the name of each relative, his/her relationship to you, the school attended, and the dates attended.
• Digital Media Design Program: Why are you interested in the Digital Media Design (DMD) program at the University of Pennsylvania? (400-650 words)
• The Huntsman Program in International Studies and Business: The Huntsman Program supports the development of globally-minded scholars who become engaged citizens, creative innovators, and ethical leaders in the public, private, and non-profit sectors in the United States and internationally. What draws you to a dual-degree program in business and international studies, and how would you use what you learn to make a contribution to a global issue where business and international affairs intersect? (400-650 words)
• The Roy and Diana Vagelos Program in Life Science and Management: The LSM program aims to provide students with a fundamental understanding of the life sciences and their management with an eye to identifying, advancing and implementing innovations. What issues would you want to address using the understanding gained from such a program? Note that this essay should be distinct from your single degree essay. (400-650 words)
• The Jerome Fisher Program in Management and Technology: Please complete both prompts.
• Explain how you will use the M&T program to explore your interest in business, engineering, and the intersection of the two. (400-650 words)
• Describe a problem that you solved that showed leadership and creativity. (250 words maximum)
• The Rejendra and Neera Singh Program in Networked and Social Systems Engineering: Describe your interests in modern networked information systems and technologies, such as the internet, and their impact on society, whether in terms of economics, communication, or the creation of beneficial content for society. Feel free to draw on examples from your own experiences as a user, developer, or student of technology. (400-650 words)
• Nursing and Healthcare Management: Discuss your interest in nursing and health care management. How might Penn's coordinated dual-degree program in nursing and business help you meet your goals? (400-650 words)
• The Roy and Diana Vagelos Integrated Program in Energy Research: How do you envision your participation in the Vagelos Integrated Program in Energy Research (VIPER) furthering your interests in energy science and technology? Please include any past experiences (ex. academic, research, or extracurricular) that have led to your interest in the program. Additionally, please indicate why you are interested in pursuing dual degrees in science and engineering and which VIPER majors are most interesting to you at this time. (400-650 words)

UPenn Essay Prompts, Analyzed

In this section, we'll analyze each of the UPenn supplement essay prompts and offer suggestions for what you should talk about (and avoid) for each.

Penn-Specific Essays

Let's take a look at how to tackle the essays all students will have to answer.

This rather charming prompt is a great opportunity to show the UPenn admissions counselors what you value and what you’re grateful for .

Consider making a list of all the things people have done for you, and narrow it down to those that have made the biggest impact. Has a family member or your best friend has gone the extra mile for you, and you haven’t quite found a way to truly thank them? Maybe someone you’re not friends with stood up for you in an academic or social situation. Maybe your Model UN nemesis did you a solid. Is there something you may have taken for granted?

Once you’ve narrowed down your topic, remember to focus on the "so what" part of the answer. Why is it important to thank this person? What did they do, and how did it affect you? Why have you not yet been able to thank them (there are plenty of good reasons for this—don’t panic if you feel like you’ve been rude!).

Remember to be as specific and sincere as possible—you have 200 words, tops, to tell a genuine story that reveals part of your character.

How will you explore the community at Penn? Consider how this community will help shape your perspective and identity, and how your identity and perspective will help shape this community. (150-200 words)

The first prompt was largely focused on academic interests. The second is where you can think more about community.

Going to college isn't just about what you'll learn in class. It's also about forming life-long friendships and exploring different communities to find out who you are and what you like to do.

Of course, you can't predict exactly what your social life is going to look like before you even get accepted. You may end up in clubs you never expected, with friends you never anticipated. But that's okay—UPenn isn't asking you to lay out, step-by-step, how you'll participate in college communities. They just want to know that you're thinking about it!

To answer this question, consider looking into UPenn's many student-run clubs and activities and find some that match your interests. Think about how these clubs and activities will contribute to the vision you have of your future. What impact do you expect them to have on you?

But don't forget the second half of the question! UPenn also wants to know how you will shape the community, not just how it will shape you . What unique perspectives do you bring? What can you do that nobody else can?

This question is a pretty typical "why you?" essay prompt that's focused on community rather than academics. Think about how you fit into your social groups; what makes you unique? Are you the token caregiver friend? Or maybe you're always pursuing a new weird hobby, and your friends love hearing about what your new niche interest is. These are just two traits that you could use to explain what you'll bring to the UPenn community— get a little creative, think about how you participate in your friend groups, and plan how you're going to bring those thoughts into your new school!

Considering the specific undergraduate school you have selected, describe how you intend to explore your academic and intellectual interests at the University of Pennsylvania. (150-200 words) For students applying to the coordinated dual-degree and specialized programs, please answer this question in regard to your single-degree school choice; your interest in the coordinated dual-degree or specialized program may be addressed through the program-specific essay.

The third prompt is a traditional Why UPenn essay. It asks you to explain why you want to attend UPenn, and what you’ll do while you’re there.

While these types of prompts are common, the Why UPenn essay prompt focuses specifically on academics—it's not concerned with your interest in UPenn's extracurriculars or campus life. Your answer, then, needs to be specifically focused on your academic pursuits and how UPenn will help you achieve your goals.

You'll need to talk about how the undergraduate school you're applying to affects your academic interests, so do your research on the school. You don't want to talk about a class that you won't have access to because it's in another undergraduate school. All of your answers should be reflective of the courses you'll be able to take if admitted to the undergraduate school of your choice.

You should have a good sense of the classes offered by your program. It's a good idea to name specific classes or professors you'd like to study with. Similarly, if there are any specific opportunities available to students in your field, such as internships or study abroad programs, this essay is the place to talk about it.

The next prompts are for specific programs at UPenn. Channel your inner snowflake and show how you're a unique, one-of-a-kind candidate! 

Bio-Dental Program

Please list pre-dental or pre-medical experience. This experience can include but is not limited to observation in a private practice, dental clinic, or hospital setting; dental assisting; dental laboratory work; dental or medical research, etc. Please include time allotted to each activity, dates of attendance, location, and description of your experience. If you do not have any pre-dental or pre-medical experience, please indicate what you have done that led you to your decision to enter dentistry. (250 words maximum)

List any activities which demonstrate your ability to work with your hands. (250 words maximum)

What activities have you performed that demonstrate your ability to work cooperatively with people? (250 words maximum)

Please explain your reasons for selecting a career in dentistry. Please include what interests you the most in dentistry as well as what interests you the least. (250 words maximum)

Do you have relatives who are dentists or are in dental school? If so, indicate the name of each relative, his/her relationship to you, the school attended, and the dates attended. (250 words maximum)

The prompt for the Bio-Dental program is extensive. Attack it in pieces, being as specific as possible when answering each question.

Don't feel that you need to make up any specific experience. If you haven't interned at a dentist's office, don't invent that experience. You should stick to reality. If you haven't observed at a dentist's office, you can set up a time to visit a local dentist so that you're writing about your real experience, not something you've invented.

When listing your activities, be sure to indicate how each is relevant to dental skill. Maybe you do a lot of needlepoint, which shows that you're able to carry out complex patterns. Again, you don't want to make anything up. Not only will your essay read as inauthentic, you won't have the experience you need to enter into the program.

Take your time and work through this prompt in pieces if you have to. Be thorough, honest, and accurate.

Digital Media Design Program

Just like the Artificial Intelligence essay prompt, in this essay you'll want to explain exactly why the Digital Media Design program at UPenn appeals to you. There are a few important components to an answer for this prompt: specificity, personality, and genuine interest.

To tackle the first important feature, you'll want to do some research into the program you're applying to. Find the unique things about this program in comparison to others; that can mean the professors who teach in it, the classes that are offered, what former students are up to, or anything else that you can tie specifically to UPenn. The reason for this is that the college wants to know that you're not just applying there as a fallback choice. UPenn wants students who are driven and passionate about what college will help them achieve, and putting specifics into your essay is a great way to show that you care about attending.

Next, be sure that your essay has personality. You want your essay to read as if only you could have written it. Having specifics will help with that, but you should also make it a point to let your own unique voice and interests shine through. If Digital Media Design draws your interest because you've always been drawn to the unique storytelling potential of animation after growing up on Pixar films, that's worth mentioning! Remember, your college application is all about getting the college invested in you as a student; let your personality shine through.

And lastly, demonstrate genuine interest. UPenn is a great school, and you should use your essay to show that you're not just applying there because you needed to fill another slot on your college list. Express your passion for attending UPenn, and specifically the Digital Media Design program. What brought you here over every other school? Even if UPenn isn't your top choice, remember all the things that made you put the school on your college list in the first place, and keep them in mind as you write.

The Huntsman Program in International Studies and Business

The Huntsman Program supports the development of globally-minded scholars who become engaged citizens, creative innovators, and ethical leaders in the public, private, and non-profit sectors in the United States and internationally. What draws you to a dual-degree program in business and international studies, and how would you use what you learn to make a contribution to a global issue where business and international affairs intersect? (400-650 words)

For the Huntsman essay, you'll need to explain exactly what draws you to UPenn's International Studies and Business program. This is a dual-degree program, so you'll be studying at the intersection of these two fields. A working understanding of each will be important to writing this essay.

To start, make a short list of reasons why this degree appeals to you. What international issues interest you? Why take a business approach rather than a sociological or political one? You don't have to put the answers to these questions in your essay, but if you know the answers to them, you'll be better prepared to answer the prompt with confidence.

The question specifically asks for how you'll use what you learn in this program to make an impact on a global issue. That requires some familiarity with global issues; think about causes that matter to you and how you can use business to approach them. How will attending UPenn help you toward your career goals?

You can cite specific classes, instructors, or other features of UPenn to help make your point. Your essay should feature not just how you want to make an impact on the world, but also why you're seeking a dual degree, and specifically a dual degree from UPenn.

The Roy and Diana Vagelos Program in Life Science and Management

The LSM program aims to provide students with a fundamental understanding of the life sciences and their management with an eye to identifying, advancing and implementing innovations. What issues would you want to address using the understanding gained from such a program? Note that this essay should be distinct from your single degree essay. (400-650 words)

The LSM essay prompt has been recently updated. Instead of being a general "why this program" style prompt, this essay wants to dig deeper into why you're interested in Life Sciences and Management and understand more about whether your personality is a fit for the program.

This essay is all about the bigger picture. The LSM program is all about innovation, so this essay wants you to pick a big issue and explain how what you learn as an LSM student will help you solve it. The best way to answer this prompt is through a combination of research and specificity. First, research the LSM program. You definitely want to pick an issue that you'll actually learn about as a UPENN student. It's also a good idea to call out specific classes, professors, and research opportunities in your response! (Keep in mind that this program is a joint venture between the College of Arts and Sciences and the Wharton School of Business, so be sure to research both schools.)

Once you have all that information pulled together, you can get specific. Admissions counselors don't expect you to solve the world's biggest problems. But they do want to see that you're thinking critically about issues in your future field, and that you can break the problem down into pieces. For instance, instead of saying you want to solve climate change, narrow that topic down into something doable, like developing new plant-based plastics that can be used in the medical field.

The Jerome Fisher Program in Management and Technology

Please complete both prompts.

Question 1: Explain how you will use the M&T program to explore your interest in business, engineering, and the intersection of the two. (400-650 words)

Question 2: Describe a problem that you solved that showed leadership and creativity. (250 words maximum)

You'll need to complete two additional essays if you're applying to the Jerome Fisher Program in Management and Technology.

Like many UPenn programs, this school combines two different fields—management and technology . To answer this question effectively, you'll need to know exactly how the two can work together. Think about why you've chosen this particular program—what can you gain from it that you wouldn't from a program in either management or technology? How will a degree in this program help you reach your personal and career goals? This prompt asks for how you'll use it to explore your interests, so don't be afraid to get specific!

The second question is also concerned with your problem-solving ability. This classic prompt wants to know about a time when you faced adversity and either overcame it or learned from it. Don't be afraid to show yourself tackling a real challenge here—your ability to persevere is more important than showing that you never make mistakes.

The Rejendra and Neera Singh Program in Networked and Social Systems Engineering

Describe your interests in modern networked information systems and technologies, such as the internet, and their impact on society, whether in terms of economics, communication, or the creation of beneficial content for society. Feel free to draw on examples from your own experiences as a user, developer, or student of technology. (400-650 words)

The easiest way to answer this prompt is with a story. Tell the admissions committee how you became interested in this line of study.

You should be as specific as possible in your answer. After all, the prompt calls for examples from your own experience. You should be able to clearly articulate where your interest stemmed from. Don't feel like you have to talk about everything that interests you within this field—focusing on one or two clear examples that you have a lot of interest in will go further than trying to talk about everything related to networked information systems and technologies.

Nursing and Healthcare Management

Discuss your interest in nursing and health care management. How might Penn's coordinated dual-degree program in nursing and business help you meet your goals? (400-650 words)

You have plenty of space in this prompt (up to 650 words), so you should make sure to address both parts of the question—why you're interested in Penn's nursing and healthcare management program and how the program will help you achieve your future goals.

Key to answering the second part of the prompt is to have some future goals thought out—have a specific idea of what you want to do with your degree. Then, tie that back to things you can study at UPenn. It would be helpful for this prompt to familiarize yourself with aspects of UPenn's program—courses, professors, learning and employment opportunities. The more you can show why UPenn is the right school for you to achieve your goals, the better your essay will be.

The Roy and Diana Vagelos Integrated Program in Energy Research

How do you envision your participation in the Vagelos Integrated Program in Energy Research (VIPER) furthering your interests in energy science and technology? Please include any past experiences (ex. academic, research, or extracurricular) that have led to your interest in the program. Additionally, please indicate why you are interested in pursuing dual degrees in science and engineering and which VIPER majors are most interesting to you at this time. (400-650 words)

This prompt wants to know exactly how you think the VIPER program will help you reach your future goals. You also need to touch on why you want to get a dual-degree. You have plenty of space in this prompt, so make sure you answer each aspect thoroughly. Don't invent previous experience if you don't have it—be honest and authentic in your answer.

You should have a clear idea about which VIPER majors you're interested in. Be prepared to name specific UPenn majors and provide reasoning, in the form of classes you'd like to take or professors you'd like to study with.

5 Tips for Acing the UPenn Supplement

Hoping to write amazing UPenn supplement essays? Follow these key tips to do so!

#1: Use Your Own Voice

The point of a college essay is for the admissions committee to have the chance to get to know you beyond what's featured in other parts of your application. Your admissions essays are your chance to become more than just a collection of statistics—to really come alive for your application readers.

Make sure that the person you're presenting in your college essays is yourself. Don't just write what you think the committee wants to hear or try to act like someone you're not—it will be really easy for the committee to tell you're lying.

If you lie or exaggerate, your essay will come across as insincere, which will at best diminish its effectiveness and at worst make the admissions committee think twice on accepting you. Stick to telling real stories about the person you really are, not who you think UPenn wants you to be.

#2: Be UPenn-Specific

All of your UPenn essays should be UPenn-specific. Don't be generic in your answers—the admissions committee should get the idea that you know about UPenn and that your answer is specific to that school, not about college in general.

Don't waste your time telling the admissions committee that UPenn has a world-class faculty—first of all, the admissions committee knows that and second, many universities do. Talk about why UPenn is the right school for you and be prepared to give real, concrete examples.

#3: Do Your Research

You can make your essay UPenn-specific by doing your research. Look into the course catalogue, visit your prospective major's website. Schedule a meeting with a professor or current student if you can. The more specific information you have, the better.

#4: Avoid Clichés and Overused Phrases

When writing your UPenn essays, don't use clichés or overused quotes or phrases. The college admissions committee has probably seen numerous essays that state, "Be the change you want to see in the world." You can write something more original than that!

Each of the UPenn essays asks you something specific about your experience or background. Your essay should be 100% you —you don't want the admissions committee to think, "Anyone could have written this essay."

#5: Check Your Work

Your UPenn essays should be the strongest example of your work possible. Before you turn in your UPenn application, edit and proofread your essays.

Run your essays through a spelling and grammar check before you submit and ask someone else to read your essays. You can seek a second opinion on your work from a parent, teacher, or friend. Ask them whether your work represents you as a student and person. Have them check and make sure you haven't missed any small writing errors. Having a second opinion will help your work be the best it possibly can be.

#6: Have a Spike

What's a spike, you ask?

In short, a spike is something that makes you stand out. Something that no (or very few) other applicants have.

When you're applying to college, it's tempting to seem well-rounded and interested in all the things.

Don't do that.

Your application won't stand out if you're mediocre in band, on the track team, and on student council. It will stand out if you travel to Japan to perform with a world-class performance ensemble or qualify for the Olympic trials in shot put.

When your focus is on one thing, you'll be better at it than if you have to split your time and attention. It will also be more impressive on your resume.

Final Thoughts

Your UPenn essay is an important part of your application. Depending on the specific school you're applying to, you may have to write three or more essays.

No matter which school at UPenn you're applying to, keep in mind:

• Be authentic.
• Highlight your best qualities.
• Use specific examples of UPenn courses and professors you want to study.
• Be generic.
• Make anything up about yourself.
• Split your focus by talking about too many different ideas.

What's Next?

If you're applying to UPenn, you're likely applying to other colleges on the East Coast, too. Check out our expert guides to the Williams essay , the Tufts essays , and the Harvard essay .

Need help writing your Common App essay? Our tips will show you how to write a Common App essay guaranteed to make you stand out from other applicants!

Trending Now

How to Get Into Harvard and the Ivy League

How to Get a Perfect 4.0 GPA

How to Write an Amazing College Essay

What Exactly Are Colleges Looking For?

ACT vs. SAT: Which Test Should You Take?

When should you take the SAT or ACT?

Get Your Free

Find Your Target SAT Score

Free Complete Official SAT Practice Tests

How to Get a Perfect SAT Score, by an Expert Full Scorer

Score 800 on SAT Math

Score 800 on SAT Reading and Writing

How to Improve Your Low SAT Score

Score 600 on SAT Math

Score 600 on SAT Reading and Writing

Find Your Target ACT Score

Complete Official Free ACT Practice Tests

How to Get a Perfect ACT Score, by a 36 Full Scorer

Get a 36 on ACT English

Get a 36 on ACT Math

Get a 36 on ACT Reading

Get a 36 on ACT Science

How to Improve Your Low ACT Score

Get a 24 on ACT English

Get a 24 on ACT Math

Get a 24 on ACT Reading

Get a 24 on ACT Science

Stay Informed

Get the latest articles and test prep tips!

Hayley Milliman is a former teacher turned writer who blogs about education, history, and technology. When she was a teacher, Hayley's students regularly scored in the 99th percentile thanks to her passion for making topics digestible and accessible. In addition to her work for PrepScholar, Hayley is the author of Museum Hack's Guide to History's Fiercest Females.

Ask a Question Below

Have any questions about this article or other topics? Ask below and we'll reply!

University of Pennsylvania Essay Examples (And Why They Worked)

The following University of Pennsylvania essay examples were written by several different authors who were admitted to UPenn. All names have been redacted for anonymity. Please note that CollegeAdvisor.com has shared these essays with admissions officers at University of Pennsylvania in order to deter potential plagiarism.

For more help with your UPenn supplemental essays, check out our 2020-2021 University of Pennsylvania Essay Guide ! For more guidance on personal essays and the college application process in general, sign up for a monthly plan to work with an admissions coach 1-on-1.

How did you discover your intellectual and academic interests, and how will you explore them at the University of Pennsylvania? Please respond considering the specific undergraduate school you have selected. (300-450 words)

For students applying to the coordinated dual-degree and specialized programs, please answer these questions in regard to your single-degree school choice; your interest in the coordinated dual-degree or specialized program may be addressed through the program-specific essay.

Make no mistake—in my family, Saturday night Scrabble is no slight affair. For the better part of my childhood, I struggled to get the upper hand against my parents’ eloquent lexicon. Eventually, I found the solution in a paper by Dutch economist Jacques Polack, the architect of the International Monetary Fund: in it, he outlined how to best leverage the scarcity of the tiles involved, applying economic principles to optimize the otherwise-mundane game. Aside from revamping my Scrabble skills, his research taught me that business economics govern everything from the global economy to a board game.

Gradually, economics also became a cornerstone of my day-to-day life. Now, when my 6:35 AM alarm rings, I consider the Law of Diminishing Marginal Utility before slapping the snooze button — will my nine minutes of fragmented slumber garner more utility than the alternative (a cup of freshly brewed coffee)? In debate rounds, I’ve found that the root cause of political and social problems can be found by delving into interest rates, quantitative easing, or volatility indices. However, only after working with Congressman DeSaulnier did I realize the far-sweeping effects of economic legislation. One of my most memorable projects — preparing a brief scrutinizing the social, political, and economic effects of H.R. 4674 (the College Affordability Act) — showed that even minor decreases to college tuition tackled cyclical poverty through education, with the resulting butterfly effect benefitting millions. I was hooked. After convincing the Congressman to become a co-author, I aspired to one day use economic and political principles to author similarly innovative policy.

The Business Economics and Public Policy concentration at the Wharton School offers the perfect opportunity to intertwine those passions. I appreciate Wharton’s holistic approach to teaching the global economy: courses like Nations, Politics, and Markets cover the big picture of the international markets, while Housing Markets dissects the minutiae of a single industry, isolating areas that need improvement. I also look forward to courses like Professor Eisenhower’s Communication and the Presidency — effective communication is still the bridge that turns effective ideas into tangible social change. I hope to put those lessons to use by brainstorming legislation at the Wharton Public Policy Initiative, where I’ll have the opportunity to collaborate with a uniquely diverse student body, challenge my preconceptions, and catalyze novel ideas. Clubs like the Penn International Impact Consulting offer the opportunity to collaborate with NGOs an ocean away, simultaneously letting me have a tangible social impact and helping me develop an international network. These four years at Penn will leave me with more than just a degree. From mastering the economics of Scrabble to pioneering solutions to society’s most pressing problems, they’re the first step to having a global impact.

Why this University of Pennsylvania essay worked, according to an ex admissions officer

This essay is playfully clever. The author begins with a simple game of scrabble but quickly we are transported into economic theory, which they begin to apply to all their daily happenings. The author brings us into a parallel world where everything can be analysed, and potentially solved, in economic terms. They are specific and cite actual laws and cases. We realize that this student lives, eats, and breaths in this economically obsessive universe. This is when the author brings us back to our own campus.

They speak about their own achievements and how they will translate to the community at UPenn. They refers to specific classes, professors, and clubs that are offered at University of Pennsylvania. We can visualize this person on our campus, but they do not leave it there. They wrap up their 4 years at Penn, and by doing this we see a graduate. They then reference how, with these Penn experiences, they can impact the world. It all began with a scrabble game and we are returned to the scrabble table with a clear image of what this student can accomplish with an offer from University of Pennsylvania. Remember, beyond writing a great essay, students must be prepared to ace every part of the admissions process. Take our quiz below to find out just how much you know about college admissions!

I was eight when my first business idea struck. Each day, classmates would approach me with a string of questions about homework: Is Russia in Europe or Asia? What’s the commutative property? How do you spell ‘satisfied’? One day, my third-grade self thought, Why not charge a quarter for each answer?

After hearing my proposition, my dad laughed so hard he could barely repeat it to my mom. “She’s born for business!” he exclaimed.

His words stuck with me. Years later, those words propelled me to take Wharton’s Coursera Marketing class, which left me fascinated by the psychology behind marketing: Why do all the girls at school wear Lululemon leggings when Nike’s are cheaper? Why is SmartWorld Coffee right next to Starbucks? Even calculus problems on price optimization made me wonder, How do businesses price their products? As I explored, I uncovered the answers to many of these questions, even making my own findings in product-pricing last year. “Born for business” or not, I realized that I had discovered something I truly loved.

Last July, at Leadership in the Business World (LBW), I not only nurtured my burgeoning passion for business, I also experienced a glimpse of what attending Wharton would be like.

Between case studies, site visits, and discussion-based lectures, LBW embodied the interactive learning culture I thrive in. Analyzing the merits of Google’s growing power with Professor McCaffrey challenged my preconceptions of monopolies, and discussions about customer centricity with Professor Fader left me with a new perspective on equity versus efficiency. Everything I learned was both thought-provoking and engaging; I was eager for more.

And I did get more — in the form of hands-on learning. In the first week, I made investments as a venture capitalist in the Startup Game simulation; by the last week, I was pitching a startup to a panel of investors. No matter what it was, I could practice what I had learned in context. I was excited to discover that this reflects Wharton as a whole. When my Teaching Assistant, Mona, described her Management 100 project, I felt a sense of déjà vu: the desire for practical application that motivated her to help local immigrants grow their businesses also guides my own endeavors. For example, after LBW, I applied my knowledge of customer segmentation while establishing a service organization to partner with Key Club. Recognizing that the key psychographic was stay-at-home/team-mom type parents, I quickly attracted 30 dedicated members. In essence, Penn students engage with their education in a way that’s directly relevant to the world — a practice that matches my own learning style perfectly.

Furthermore, at Wharton, I can unify my core interests in business and civic engagement. Behavioral Economics — a concentration rarely offered by undergraduate business programs — would deepen my understanding of the human decision-making process, helping me answer questions about everything from athletic wear to coffee. Meanwhile, a secondary concentration in Social Impact and Responsibility would help me approach business problems through a social impact lens. Together, both concentrations would teach me to apply my business acumen toward my love of service.

Beyond the classroom, I hope to join the Social Impact Consulting Group (SIC), where I plan to implement both my Wharton education and my past involvement with nonprofits to help local communities. Over the last few years, I’ve worked intimately with the local Big Brother/Big Sister chapter, and I would love to use that experience to help the Philadelphia chapter that Penn’s SIC Group counsels.

In short, I’ve fallen in love with Penn in its entirety. Between the strong theme of practical application and the 6AM runs along Spruce Street, the eclectic atmosphere of the Kelly Writers House and the Greek Lady French Toast, Penn is the perfect blend of vitality, collaboration, and interdisciplinary learning. It is this community that I hope to make my home for the next four years.

My first visit to Philadelphia was a unique one. With car keys for the second time, the world at my disposal, and a desire to try a cheesesteak for the first time, I took the two-hour drive to Philly. While I dispensed my entire paycheck throughout the duration of the trip, my only regret remains trying Pat’s and Geno’s and perhaps also losing my car privilege for three months. In all seriousness, knowing I’d only have time to visit 1-2 places, I decided to do a self-guided tour of Penn, a school I had already researched extensively. Nestled in a bastion of intellectualism, culture, and history in a city I dared to learn so much from stood this behemoth of a school, and it was after this tour that I decided to apply to UPenn’s School of Engineering and Applied Sciences.

My experience with engineering began with taking apart my dad’s Dell Inspiron desktop. Fascinated by the complex arrangement of the parts and the intricate designs that lined the parts themselves, I was too young to understand what the term “engineering” even encompassed. Engineering to me was not just about building computers, which I’d eventually pursue, but optimization. I was obsessed with choosing graphics cards and CPU’s, always pursuing maximum efficiency in terms of size, speed, and price of the final product. Naturally, this kickstarted my journey into circuitry; I still remember by first series circuit. The logic behind the placement of the wires excited me. The troubleshooting required when I wasn’t met with success filled me with purpose. Later, the power to utilize my Arduino to power code into my projects rendered my options limitless.

Indeed, my rather bizarre voyage to campus affirmed my intuition that UPenn was the school for me, but it was the substance of my research that confirmed that the SEAS, in particular, was compatible with my academic goals and interests. To my delight, I discovered that as stringent as an electrical engineering degree at Penn would be, I could also apply to earn a minor in Energy and Sustainability. Beginning with the Engineering Probability course (ESE 301), I’d start off learning what I love, combinatorics and advanced topics such as the Bernoulli schema that I am already studying outside of school now. Even more exciting would be the culmination of my entire Penn education during my senior year, when I’d partake in the Senior Design competition. Through this project competition, I’d have the privilege of applying real-world knowledge obtained at Penn by presenting my work to expert judges in my field.

In addition to my passion for electricity and circuitry, I am deeply interested in biomimicry, a field that became the cornerstone of my studies outside of school because of a simple realization: all around me lies genius. Thus biomimicry, the practice of applying designs and process from nature to engineering, one that I’m determined to develop with an Energy and Sustainability minor by applying energy-storing processes of leaves to solar cells—a longstanding point of research outside of school—constantly motivates me. While this aspect of engineering is one that I haven’t tangibly sought out in high school through formal clubs or competitions because of my work commitments, my extensive personal studies through books and online resources have instilled in me a desire to explore it further in college. Fascinatingly enough, I’d find a home to do this at Penn, where the engineering blog even has a hashtag for coverage of biomimicry. A few weeks ago, I even bookmarked an article about a student researcher developing a method to render the production of biofuel more efficient by mimicking giant clams, only to later discover that the article was published by UPenn. Ultimately, attending Penn would mean an opportunity to not only learn from the best, but also access resources to better the world around me, following in the footsteps of so many other Penn innovators.

What I like about this essay is that the author begins with a casual air. We envision a typical high school senior who grabs the car keys and has a day-trip adventure. They are a tourist exploring the very specific cultural highlights of Philly and entering the University of Pennsylvania campus. Almost with this student’s first step into the gates, we realize this “typical high school senior” is completely immersed in the world of engineering. They take us from an endearing story of taking apart a family computer as a child to discussions of circuitry, logic, wires, and powercodes.

For most of us, this conversation would go over our heads. However, the story remains clear, and the student’s pure love of engineering is unmistakable. This student speaks the engineering language. The author then explains where this passion for engineering will lead them. They let us know what principles they hope to discover next. They mention their goals, their minor, what they will take as a senior (bringing us four years in), and they finish by creating a place for themselves amongst the collection of UPenn innovators that have come before.

There is an energy to this person’s essay that suggests pure progression. They will take advantage of every minute on campus. This essay embodies the transformation of a kid with a Philly Cheesesteak to a veritable scholar, and I would be excited to have this transformation evolve on the University of Pennsylvania campus.

3:31 PM: Notebook and camera clutched in each arm, I prowl the streets of Detroit.

3:54 PM: As I find myself hunting along a line of apartments encased by steel-frame construction, I figure it might make for a story. What is going on here?

3:55 PM: I ask an African-American woman who slumps against the charred-brick wall, surrounded by a sea of translucent trash bags. She tells me, and I am horrified.

Horrified to know she was kicked out. Horrified to learn that the developers had doubled the rent, cut the power, harassed her and threatened to burn down her apartment when she fought to stay. Horrified to hear that she hated her dark skin, hated the way she was born.

Horrified , that the Webster Dictionary taught me gentrification means positive change.

While the woman I had encountered was in dire straits, her undoing was the making of me. In talking with her, my eyes were opened to the atrocities that ordinary people live through, and I could no longer sit back and allow them to go unnoticed. As a journalist, I have the ability to give voice to the silenced, to take someone’s story and broadcast it over an intercom. That day, I wrote her story in hopes that even one more person might understand her story and learn of the ugly in a word disguised by the good.

Since then, I have strived to reach larger audiences. Through writing articles and meeting with legislators through The Borgen Project, I have continued to immerse myself in poverty matters and deepened my interest in the intersection of Sociology and Economics while growing as a writer. While researching, I find myself investigating urban sprawl or income disparity, and hundreds of questions flood my mind. At Penn, the possibility of pursuing my curiosities are embedded in both the school’s academics and geography.

With twofold interests in urban matters, I seek The College’s Urban Sociology concentration with an Economic Policy minor; this, I find conducive to exploring both the socio-political and economic nuances of poverty alleviation. Additionally, I am concerned about gentrification, and educating myself on the matter in one of the most gentrified cities in America provides the natural setting for first-hand observation and research. Fairmount, located only two miles outside of Penn, is a neighborhood undergoing excessive black gentrification in Philadelphia. One day, I hope to work alongside mentors such as Dr. Grazian–whose expertise spans both the economic and social dynamics of Philadelphia neighborhoods–and direct a case study detailing effects of Fairmount gentrification. In developing a multifaceted worldview, it is my ideal to pursue my intellectual interests at the University of Pennsylvania, in a place itself as culturally rich as Philadelphia.

The University of Pennsylvania, with its strong emphasis on pre-professional learning is ideal as a learning environment. That focus is what drives many students with an eye to the future. We hope to apply our learning, impact the real world in ways that inspire change.

I find the Cognitive Science program, specifically its concentration in Language and Mind most appealing. As someone who places great emphasis in words, the idea of analyzing the cognitive aspects behind linguistics, whether philosophically, psychologically, or computationally draws upon various fields that showcase various perspectives on the meanings of language. It’s fascinating that despite the various languages and cultures there can be a biological scientific breakdown explaining the complex processes underlying syntax and semantics.

I am fascinated with the study of semantics, especially as it relates to both personality and gender. Because the World Well-Being Project touches on the topic of extroversion versus introversion, I would hope to be involved. This topic has interested me since reading Quiet by Susan Cain, which I also wrote about for Teen Line’s blogs. The language of both gender and personality are particularly intriguing; research suggests that for males, possessive pronouns are strongly associated with relationships like girlfriend and husband while for females, the nouns existed primarily on their own. List of most used words also differ along personality traits. I wonder why researchers persist in correlating the language to the Big Five Traits (which carry their own significant connotations) rather than to other classificatory systems.

Two other UPenn labs offer me routes to follow my current interests: The Cultural Evolution of Language lab under Dr. Roberts and the Cognition and Development Lab under Dr. Weisberg.

In the last decade, texting lingo has changed the way many speak. I find myself wondering whether spoken language will lose its richness as common vocabulary shortens and simplifies. The idea of experimental semiotics that Dr. Roberts utilizes is fascinating in that we can watch how a newly-created language progresses, thrives, or decays.

The Cognition and Development Lab under Dr. Weisberg, on the other hand, focuses primarily on development, interviewing children and exploring what exactly is going on when they enact pretend stories. I still remember one instance of my five-year-old self playing pretend princess at an after school program; a fifth grader had snapped at me in annoyance to stop using the word “pretend” in our play activity. The next five minutes had me tripping over my own words, finally giving up in frustration when for some reason, I couldn’t avoid saying pretend in my games. The rest of the day was spent sitting in a huff in the corner, hugging a pillow. Thinking back, I can’t fathom why I enjoyed living in a fantasy. It seems out of character to the Katie today. Discovering how play helps with growth is one of the major questions surrounding the study of children; its effects on cognition could be impactful in parenting theories because fantasy play probably has a significant role in the development of the brain.

While not an academic interest, acapella singing remains intellectually stimulating to me. Joining groups like Pennyo or Pennsori will allow me to practice singing and speaking in Mandarin or Korean. These include musical genres that I have been exploring for several years, allowing me to learn about culturally embedded vehicles for aesthetic language. They will provide me with another way to explore language and culture.

The differences between the word clouds can be read into farther than simply, girls say “I love you” more and guys talk about video games – rather, there are small details that are indicative, whether of true gender differences or cultural norm commonalities. The language of personality, on the other hand brings up questions – why use the Big Five standard over others? The traits are often associated with a strongly positive or negative implication in society – which directly correlates to the words found in the clouds. It would be interesting to analyze social media aspects on neutral traits as well, as shown with the introversion/extroversion in order to find correlations between how language is use and how differently it is processed by personality categorizations like the more detail-oriented versus big idea thinkers.

At Penn, learning and growth happen outside of the classrooms, too. How will you explore the community at Penn? Consider how this community will help shape your perspective and identity, and how your identity and perspective will help shape this community. (150-200 words)

Philadelphia is known as the City of Brotherly Love, and Penn lives up to that ethos. The community there is uniquely supportive, diverse, and vibrant. Having competed as a member of the USA Debate Team, I look forward to bringing my experience to the Penn Debate Society, and hopefully, representing the school at the World University Debating Championships., Beyond competing at tournaments, I appreciate last year’s collaboration debate with The Economist and the Bard Prison Initiative; to broaden the team’s horizons, I’d love to arrange similar events with other think tanks, nonprofits, or community organizations.

After four years of pick-up basketball at Sycamore Valley Park, I look forward to joining the intramural team, where I’d connect with the Penn community on the court while getting some much-needed practice on my jump shot. To preserve my tradition of attending Friday prayers, I’ll join the Muslim Student Association. Both through social gatherings or community work at the Masjid al-Jamia, I’m excited to work with a community of Muslims from around the world. Finally, I hope to join the Penn Student Government–it’d be both a new experience and help me gain experience advocating for the interests of the student body.

Too often, I have found myself walled-in by hard lines and expectations. At school, I belong to multiple circles, but I find myself contributing only a portion of my personality to each. In my community, there is just no all-encompassing space.

Penn makes a family out of us multipotentialites. Penn students refuse to be defined by one thing, a unique culture through which I can thrive as a liberal-arts-focused student enthusiastic about STEM. As a creative writer, I’ve gravitated towards writing science-fiction, imagining futuristic worlds where people online-shop for faces, or where simulation technology has allowed us to learn history by experiencing it. By writing for t-art, I am afforded the possibility of acting as a liaison between the Humanities and STEM worlds through innovative creative expression. On other days, I see myself merging my skills as an urban sociologist and journalist to report about the surrounding city through The Daily Pennsylvanian . On Mondays and Thursdays, I might find myself playing Mahler with the Penn Symphony Orchestra. Above all, I envision myself strolling through Locust Walk each day, tracing the footsteps of Andrea Mitchell to Elizabeth Banks, chatting with friends about the first presidential debate to the origin of “irregardless.”

This essay is successful because the author clearly starts in a place that is limiting their potential. They are excited and curious to spread their proverbial wings. The author has carefully researched opportunities at UPenn and seamlessly interwoven their own accomplishments and talents, with cited academic and extracurricular UPenn opportunities.

This author creates a very clear image of what type of contributor they will be on our campus. Their interests are diverse and limitless, or so it seems. The author’s specificity in mentioning the days the Orchestra plays, the Locust Walk, and past UPenn scholars shows their love for the school. This essay describes a person who is ready to blossom, has intellectual and cultural curiosity, and will add to the community at University of Pennsylvania.

These University of Pennsylvania essay examples were compiled by the advising team at CollegeAdvisor.com . If you want to get help writing your University of Pennsylvania essay supplements from CollegeAdvisor.com Admissions Experts , register with CollegeAdvisor.com today.

Personalized and effective college advising for high school students.

• Advisor Application
• Popular Colleges
• Privacy Policy and Cookie Notice
• Student Login
• California Privacy Notice
• Terms and Conditions
• Your Privacy Choices

By using the College Advisor site and/or working with College Advisor, you agree to our updated Terms and Conditions and Privacy Policy , including an arbitration clause that covers any disputes relating to our policies and your use of our products and services.

• 630 730 8825

Common App Essays That Worked: Two Approaches to the Personal Statement

The hello college team.

• Last Updated on July 7, 2024

Table of Contents

What Makes a Common App Essay Work?

The Common App Personal Statement is a many-splendored thing. This 650-word personal essay is part exposition and part narrative, part summary and part scene, and for many students, entirely confusing. Indeed, this unique genre can flummox even the strongest essay writers.

This pressure and confusion can leave students frozen—bewildered as to how to begin, and in search of a structure for their unique story. In this post, two experienced essay coaches, Steven Flores and Chris Bench, share two common approaches, along with examples and commentary around what makes great Common App essays and examples of Common App essays that worked. 

Common App Essays That Worked: The Story Approach

Our first approach comes from Steven Flores. Steven has been an essay coach for five years, and teaches critical and creative writing as a professor in the Honors College at University of Wisconsin – Milwaukee. As a practicing fiction writer, Steven helps his students see the story structure behind their compelling Common App essays. In this excerpt, he talks about a particularly impactful essay that arose from a series of brainstorming sessions: 

One of the most powerful essays I’ve encountered was written by a young Indian-American woman who had her heart set on attending top business schools, with an eye toward entrepreneurship or management. I knew from speaking with her that her qualifications were stellar and that she had excelled inside and outside of the classroom, but when it came to providing a neat encapsulation of her character, she was drawing a blank: what could she write that wouldn’t be redundant of her impressive activities lists, or the copious suite of essays covering activities, community, her choice of college, her major, etcetera? How could she capture her purpose in a mere 650 words? 

Identify the root of the essay topic

However, as we spoke, I began to notice a tension. I listened closely and asked more questions. Tension, while bad for our vitals, is the lifeblood of a good story.  What emerged was actually a host of tensions, divided into two streams: (1) As a young woman of color, the student often had to make space for herself in activities that were mostly white and male. (2) As a young Indian woman, the student was trapped between very high expectations to succeed in the business world and the more domestic role carved out by what she called a “traditional” belief system.

When I asked her for examples, she spoke of chhaupadi,  the Hindu practice of excluding menstruating women from religious events. Such an event had happened to her. Thinking back on it,  she found it was the first and most concrete example of her being excluded on the basis of biological sex. More importantly, it was the catalyst that caused her to question tradition, not just for herself, but on behalf of women living within patriarchal laws and norms, and for people of color who have often had to insist on their seats in the classroom and in the boardroom. 

Take the essay from idea to story

The student was a phenomenal writer. Her story began with a vivid description of ceremonial dress and the other sights, sounds, and smells that accompany preparation for a major holiday gathering. Within the story, the excitement for the celebration is palpable, but then, an inciting incident deflates the excitement and introduces tension into her story: We follow our protagonist’s bewilderment and shame after her grandmother told her she was ‘unclean’ and must be excluded from the Diwali celebration. This vivid opening led the student to reflect on how her newfound consciousness led her to challenge the status quo and reject the complacency of “tradition” at both extracurricular and family gatherings.

Through engaging, contemplative scenes, the student showed how she learned to navigate her complex identity within a culture she loves and strongly identifies with. Finally, the student projects into the future to show how the confidence she has gained by advocating for her authentic self will ultimately help her succeed in spaces that women of color have traditionally been excluded from—namely, boardrooms. The student was wildly successful, due in no small part to her stellar profile, superlative writing, and—we like to think—her willingness to take a risk writing an essay as intrepid as she was. 

Common App Essays That Worked: The Thematic Approach

While a slice-of-life story springs most readily to mind when one thinks of a “personal essay,” there are plenty of ways to show the admissions readers who you are. This is the terrain of the thematic essay, where you can tell admissions readers who you are, what you love and how your mind works by showing them how you spend your time. This requires the ingenuity, curiosity, and patience to discern the patterns of your personality from everyday events. In this effort, conversations with friends, siblings, and parents can help—and so can a seasoned essay coach. 

Chris Bench , Assistant Director of Tutoring & Essay services at Hello College, has worked with students on college applications for over a decade, and is himself a proud graduate of Kenyon College (AB) and the University of Chicago (MA). Below, Chris details how a students weaves seemingly disparate hobbies into a compelling Common App essay.

The importance of a theme in great common app essays

Whatever I’m discussing with a student, I’m centrally focused on one thing: theme. Students are generally used to thinking about their activities and interests (their presidency of the Debate Team or the process by which they made the varsity tennis team, for example) .

What they’re often less adept at discussing is what the topics reveal about their values, beliefs, and ideals. Often the most interesting and unexpected observations grow out of the mutual discovery, between myself and a student, of an important theme in their life. Recently, while working with a student, she cited as among her various activities and interests reading paperback airport mysteries, shadowing doctors on their rounds, and learning to employ her grandmother’s handloom to make traditional textiles.

Notably, when I asked about the appeal of each of these, she appeared to contradict herself: she emphasized these activities’ repetitiousness—James Patterson’s recycled plot, the hospital rounds’ repeated questions, the handloom’s rhythmic clack and thrum—but also the surprise and sometimes delight to be found in each activities—an unexpected killer’s reveal, a patient’s unique circumstances, a sari’s unique pattern. 

Tie it all together to develop an essay that worked

Significantly, this paradoxical commitment to repetition and structure on one hand and to creativity and novelty on the other matched her general ethos as well as her biography: she was a very deliberate, methodical science student. This was as true for her work in a lab (setting up thousands of petri dishes to systematically produce novel knowledge about the breast cancer cells she studied in her internship) as it was for the repetitious-but-creative wirework jewelry she sold on eBay (the profits from which she donated to benefit the educations of impoverished young women in India).

The end result was an essay about the emergence of awesome complexity from relatively simple patterns—for example, DNA—as well as a portrait of a future physician who realized that the structured patient visits would make manageable the complex array of people seeking answers and comfort for themselves and their loved ones. By finding a common thematic framework, we were able to combine three seemingly unrelated topics under a single thematic umbrella, providing an unexpected means of demonstrating her character. 

Great Common App Essays Come in All Shapes and Sizes

Great Common App essays appear in many guises. However, the feature they all have in common is that they give the admissions reader a clear and convincing picture of the student’s character. Each one tells the admissions reader something that they can’t glean from grades, test scores or activities lists . More than specific content knowledge, great Common App essays convey some enduring aspect/s of character that will see students through the invariable trials and tribulations that will appear on life’s path. More immediately, they will show the admissions committee that the student is someone who will benefit their community and that the community will benefit the student in return.

For assistance with your Common App essay speak with one of our experts at HelloCollege

HelloCollege CEO Andrea Emmons has spent the last 15 years guiding students and families across the country on their path to college. Andrea knows the profound impact proactive college planning has on the lives of students and is passionate about mentoring families through the process.

Subscribe to College Admissions Updates!

Discover latest trends, topics and guides about college admissions.

Related posts

How to Write a Good Hook for a College Essay

Think about your favorite book or movie: How does it start? Is there action or mystery? Does the

Example National Honor Society Essay: Scholarship and Service

Showcasing Scholarship, Leadership, and Service If you’re a high school student with a stellar grade point average, a

Writing the ‘Why This College’ Essay

Ask most students and parents what comes to mind when they think of college essays, and you will

Upcoming College Admissions workshops:

The Common Application: A Success Guide

In partnership with NSHSS, you are invited to join us for a power-packed Common Application workshop.  You’ll cover everything you should be doing now from strategic planning and deadline management to crafting standout activities, the personal statement, and securing letters of recommendation.

Proctored ACT

Unlock your potential with our Free Proctored ACT Test! Experience the real exam atmosphere as our dedicated staff proctors your digital ACT live. Receive immediate, detailed score reports to pinpoint areas for improvement.

Write College App Essays That Stand Out

The personal statement is a student’s chance to make their application stand out. Learn strategies to write essays that impress.

We are dedicated to helping students and parents successfully navigate the college admissions process, providing a personalized experience based on your unique needs and goals.

Remote Locations

• 1415 W 22nd St Tower Floor, Oak Brook, IL
• 5570 FM 423 Suite 250-2119 Frisco, TX
• 2590 Welton St Ste. 200 #1031 Denver, CO
• 12800 Whitewater Drive Suite 100-2033 Minnetonka, MN

Quick Links

• Kevin Krebs, Founder
• 630-730-8825
• Schedule Consultation
• Employee Login
• Member Login
• News and Press

© HelloCollege 2022. All Rights Reserved.

Your College Admissions Journey, Mapped Out!

Introducing our college planning timeline with a handy checklist of essential tasks, a step-by-step guide for every grade level, from freshman to senior year, AND financial aid, college applications, extracurricular activities, and more.

• Study Notes
• College Essays

UPenn Admissions Essays

• UPenn Essays
• UPenn Facts
• Unlock All Essays

Top 6 Successful UPenn Essays

These college essays are from students who got accepted at University of Pennsylvania . Use them to get inspiration for your own essays and knock the socks off those admissions officers!

1. Penn Supplement

In grade 9, I started messing around with Google Sketchup. It began casually and soon blossomed into an obsession – I would refuse repeated calls for dinner, intent on figuring out the placement of a room or object. I remember trying to virtually remodel our apartment when my brother looked ov...

2. UPenn Supplement - Community

I see the beauty in our natural assembly of neurons, the splendor of circuits in digital chips, and of course the undying symphony of computer code running through a compiler. As a firm believer of the values of interdisciplinary education, I embrace Benjamin Franklin's drive to create an intellectu...

3. UPenn Supplement - Business & Technology

My first attempt at creating an online service was the result of a desire to help those st...

4. Why Penn M&T?

I want to use technology to change the world through innovation. Through the Jerome Fisher Program in Management and Technology, I’ll pursue a Bachelor’s degree in both Computer Engineering and Economics. As a Bay Area native, it’s no surprise that I’ve grown up with an entre...

5. UPenn Supplement - Autobiography (Robotics)

It moved timidly at first, its gears slowly churning as it felt the spark of life flow through its wires. Slowly, it turned, rotating on its treads, as it scanned the arena for any signs of movement. Its light sensors on the alert, it sensed that something was near. It nudged forward as it felt its ...

6. Personal Essay

Through our educational years, my fellow students and I were incessantly forced to read books on racism and inequality. The towers of books grudgingly read by the most dedicated students, but mostly left untouched by the general population, always stirred groans of, "Why should we even care, &q...

Essays That Worked

Read the top 6 college essays that worked at UPenn and more. Learn more.

University of Pennsylvania Facts

The University of Pennsylvania (commonly referred to as Penn or UPenn) is an American private research university located in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, United States. It is one of the Ivy League universities and one of the nine original Colonial Colleges. Incorporated as The Trustees of the Univers...

UPenn Stats

• 10.4% acceptance rate
• 21,296 enrolled students
• $49,536 tuition & fees
• #9 in US News & World Report

Located in Philadelphia, PA

• 316,647 views

• College Application

UPenn Essays: The Best Examples

Writing UPenn essays needs careful consideration and you can start bylearning from our supplemental essay examples . You should also learn how to write a college essay to increase your chance of getting acceptaed. Your cahnces of admission to the University of Pennsylvania are certainly affected by your essays.

The University of Pennsylvania supplemental essays  include fairly standard prompts, such as the “Why this college?” essay and “What do you bring to the community?” essay. But it’s up to you to make these common essay topics your own! Read on to learn how you can stand out in your UPenn essays!

>> Want us to help you get accepted? Schedule a free initial consultation here <<

Article Contents 7 min read

Upenn essays prompt 1.

Considering the specific undergraduate school you have selected, how will you explore your academic and intellectual interests at The University of Pennsylvania? (300-450 words)

Your goal in writing this essay is to convey why you are perfect for UPenn and why UPenn is perfect for you and your academic and professional goals.

The idea here is to write an essay that will show the admissions committee how you are going to benefit from their academic environment and how it will help you grow as an academic and a professional.

I have always excelled academically. I loved school, I enjoyed my lessons, and my teachers were my idols. Apart from sucking in the knowledge my teachers bestowed on me, I always did independent afterschool research to deepen my understanding of new subjects.

From a young age, I knew I would join the “knowledge” business. The best way I knew to go about it would be to create my brand of self-help e-books.I started selling these books – and, to my surprise, they were soon being printed in hard copies.

I soon realized that as “knowledgeable” as I considered myself, I had no idea how to run a business. As my publishing business scaled quickly, I soon realized that I needed more than a degree to run my business efficiently if I wanted to continue to grow.

I started my research and soon found that UPenn was the undergraduate business school for me.  The Wharton School of the University of Pennsylvania is where I want to learn, especially focusing on programs like Entrepreneurship & Innovation Concentration and Entrepreneurship Acceleration Program: Scaling Your Business.

I also intend to share my personal and professional experience with the UPenn community. I hope to join the Penn Social Entrepreneurship Movement (PennSEM) , where I plan to implement both my Wharton education and my past involvement in the business field to help local communities build new social enterprises. In the past, I’ve worked closely with my local Big Sister chapter and would love to use that experience to help PennSEM reach new boundaries in the broader community – beyond campus walls. I can bring my experience in organizing and leading workshops and networking events and help the club reach a wider audience. Most importantly, I can learn about how to lead such organizations from the other members of the club.

At UPenn, I hope to learn how to effectively interact with my peers and fellow entrepreneurship enthusiasts as my journey in the business world has been solo for the most part. When I leave Wharton with my business degree, I know I will become an accomplished business leader who has truly mastered both the theory and practical aspects of entrepreneurship. (442 words)

I apply to UPenn with the blessings and the support of my community on a small island in the Pacific Ocean. My family runs a small hotel on one of the most beautiful beaches in the world. We have owned the hotel for three generations – and it continues to provide a livelihood for 20 families who have become part of our family.

When I graduated from the only high school on the island, it was these families that came together to pay for my college tuition, which I hope to use at UPenn. They gave me the responsibility of becoming an efficient business leader who can transform that small hotel into a world-class resort.

I intend to deliver on their expectations by studying in the Business, Energy, Environment, and Sustainability program, which will help me grow the business with consideration for the environment and my community as a whole.

Apart from being one of the top universities in the world, UPenn also has the best research and development facilities. This attracted me because I want to learn in an institution that has a long history as well as the latest innovations in the business field. We also decided that it would be best because we loved that it is a place where I could feel at home with over 130 nationalities on campus. This is the first time I will be traveling far from home. I hope to learn about various cultures and meet as many people as I can by participating in on-campus communities. I aim to join the Penn Environmental Group as I know how important nature is to both the hotel industry as well as humanity as a whole. Living on a small island in the middle of an ocean also gives me a unique perspective on global warming and rising sea levels. I hope to create awareness via workshops and conferences and perhaps even work towards a solution that prevents an irreversible calamity.

I have also set my eyes on the Penn Club Swim. I aim to participate in activities like being a lifeguard and teaching about safety in the water.

I hope to give back to the UPenn community by sharing the personal experiences of my rich culture. We have traditions that are built on the need to rely on one another and I hope to build this sense of closeness and connection with my classmates (439 words)

At Penn, learning and growth happen outside of the classroom, too. How will you explore the community at Penn? Consider how this community will help shape your perspective and identity, and how your identity and perspective will help shape this community. (150-200 words)

This prompt is meant to test how well you will fit in the university’s community as a whole and what kind of knowledge and experience you can bring to the incoming class. The campus hosts thousands of students and they all bring their backgrounds, experiences, cultures, and traditions with them. The question is, how will you contribute to that melting pot, and what will you take from it?

Perhaps, the best advice here would be to delve deep within yourself and consider unique experiences and circumstances that shaped you into who you are today.

By day I am a businessman, and by night, a writer. Well, at least that is the dream I hope to realize at UPenn – that of being a successful, innovative businessman and a writer at the same time.

Although I started writing in high school, I have never really developed that passion because, like every child growing up in a middle-class family, writing wasn’t exactly as encouraged as becoming a doctor, an engineer, or a lawyer. So, I had to put that “hobby” – as my parents called it – on the back burner as I went through school.

I look forward to attending UPenn because it gives me the chance to earn my business degree as well as pursue my writing via clubs like Curiouser, where I can explore the surreal fiction writing sphere, and Penn Innovators in Business , where I will learn to guide the next generation of business leaders with my writing.

 I also get to make my parents happy by becoming a successful businessman with my business degree – two birds one stone, as the saying goes. (186 words)

UPenn essays – example 2.2

I love singing and The Inspiration A Cappella is the UPenn club for me.

Ever since I found out about this club, I have been following the group’s YouTube channel. I’ve enjoyed every single video and dream of being among them. Anyone that has watched the club perform – or even watched their videos – can see how much they work to achieve that harmony. And that is something that can’t be done without a bond being formed among the members.

I want to be a part of that camaraderie. The beauty of acapella is that everyone needs to do their part or it won’t work – I can see how they “sync” and hope that my voice can enrich this already established group in the future. I bring over four years of singing) experience – several high school awards testify to my “prowess” – but, more importantly, I bring my passion for singing. Being an African, music is an inherent part of our culture, and it would be my pleasure to share my experiences and knowledge of our endemic music traditions. I even have ideas of weaving these beats into a work that appeals to the younger generation – in the hopes that they will also want to discover more about the “foreign-yet-familiar” sounds they experience. (200 words)

Writing college application essays is an art that can be mastered with time and practice. Don’t rush the process, take time to understand the question, and formulate your answers with care. Keep improving your draft until you are happy with the final essay. And, don’t forget to use a spell-check or grammar tool.

If at all you find this to be a daunting task, you can go through some sample college essays . They might help spark a few ideas that you can build on to create your admission essays when the time comes.

Alternatively, you can also look for college essay review services to make sure you have the best essay you can submit.

Want more tips for writing?

Do not exceed the word count. You can certainly write less that the required word count, but not more.

The most important thing here is that you address the prompt. Your answer should be built around the prompt and include your unique input, the values you bring to the community, and what you expect to gain when you leave the campus.

You should also include the tangible (technology and facilities) and intangible (school spirit and ethics) assets of the college, as well as the traditions it upholds.

If you can put all these together, then you will have a well-balanced essay.

You have to remember that supplemental essays are just one part of your entire college application packet. Instead of thinking of the essays as a single entity that can boost (or thwart) your chances, you should think of creating a whole application package that will combine to increase your chances.

So, focus on writing good supplemental essays and combine them with a good application package.

UPenn requires two supplemental essays for new students. But, there are several more that are required by students who seek admission to programs like Digital Media Design, Nursing and Health Care Management (400-650 words), and Seven-Year Bio-Dental Program (250 words). There is also an essay prompt for transfer students about why they transferred from their previous colleges (4510 characters ). More details can be found on the UPenn admissions page .

UPenn also requires potential candidates to write personal essays.

UPenn has set its goal to admit some of the top students by setting its admission GPA to 3.9. That means you will need to have scored almost all A’s to get in. But, you can find out how to get into college with a low GPA if you don’t have that near-perfect score.

The general rule of thumb is to avoid controversy at all costs. While it is good that you have your thoughts and views, your UPenn college admission essay is not exactly the place to express them. Why rattle the cage that will be your home for the coming 4 years?

Yes. Topics to avoid are political and social hot topics that are provocative to anyone on any side of the aisle. In short, if it is in the news and debates and clashes are going on about it, it is a topic best avoided. Again, here too – while it is admirable that you have a stance, your college admission essay is not the platform to express it.

Essays are your chance to explain how you and the university will co-exist for the next few years. While your essay needs to reflect you, there is a limit to how personal you can get. There is a difference between personality – which you should write about – and personal – which you should be careful with.

Your essay should tread lightly on personal topics like romance, trauma, sexual content, and radically offensive topics.

In short, use common sense and ask: would I tell this to a stranger? If the answer is, “no” you should skip the topic.

Want more free tips? Subscribe to our channels for more free and useful content!

Apple Podcasts

Like our blog? Write for us ! >>

Have a question ask our admissions experts below and we'll answer your questions, get started now.

Talk to one of our admissions experts

Our site uses cookies. By using our website, you agree with our cookie policy .

FREE Training Webinar:

How to make your college applications stand out, (and avoid the top 5 mistakes that get most rejected).

Are you seeking one-on-one college counseling and/or essay support? Limited spots are now available. Click here to learn more.

10 Instructive Common App Essay Examples — 2024

March 26, 2024

Examples are integral to the learning process in just about every subject. In writing, they’re particularly important, especially when working with abstract concepts or attempting to master a new genre. Imagine how lost you’d feel if you had to write a poem without ever reading one, or craft a thesis statement without being shown a few models! Accordingly, it stands to reason that reading Common App essay examples should be an essential part of the college personal statement writing process as well.

However, we’ve noticed that reading Common App essay examples can sometimes hinder more than help, creating self-esteem pitfalls and leading students to unhelpful conclusions about the college application process. It doesn’t have to be this way, though! When you understand how essays are used in the admissions process as well as the hallmarks of a strong personal essay, you can read Common App essay examples more objectively, noticing their similarities rather than their differences. Ultimately, embracing those similarities is what will allow you to produce your strongest work. In today’s blog, we’ll review how all Common App essays are similar and teach you how to objectively evaluate examples so that they are a useful–rather than stress-inducing—tool during your writing process.

What are the pitfalls of reading Common App essay examples?

Think about what typically happens when you work on an assignment in English class. Let’s say you’re doing a short story unit. Your teacher might give you a short story (or several) written by a professional writer, which you read and analyze for specific elements. She then lets you loose to start your own story, but it’s unlikely you’re comparing yourself to the short story author while you write. That person is an expert, after all, and this is your very first piece of fiction!

College essays, though, are different. They’re not written by professional writers; they’re written by your peers (peers who might even be applying to the same selective institutions that you are). As such, the fact that you’ve never written a college essay before offers little reassurance. Everyone else seems to manage to produce amazing essays, right? So why shouldn’t you?

After years of working with students on their writing, we have some theories…

Why Reading Common App Essay Examples Can Feel Especially Loaded

• It’s easy to arrive at inaccurate conclusions . “If so-and-so got into Harvard by theming all their essays about chicken soup, then I should do the same!” or “This person was accepted to Stanford after writing about their earliest childhood memory, so that must be the way to do it!”
• You compare your writing style and life experiences to the examples , falsely concluding that yours can’t possibly be interesting or good enough. Worse, these conclusions might derail your initial drafts altogether.
• After reading several examples, you decide that you’re going to “break the mold” of the Common App essay and do something “unique.” However, to be quite frank, your chance of presenting admissions officers with something that they’ve never seen before has approximately the same probability as seeing a velociraptor in your backyard. Remember, they read thousands of applications per year. Their objective is not to be surprised but to get to know you .

What are the best practices for reading Common App essay examples?

Before you dive into reading Common App essay examples, consider beginning your journey with personal essays written by professional writers. Their objective is different than yours, sure. However, you can pay close attention to how they craft their stories, how and when they reflect, how they begin, and how they conclude.

Ask yourself: What stayed with me? What did I enjoy? What did I learn about the writer?

The New York Times “ Lives ” section is especially perfect for this assignment, as the essays are typically under 700-800 words. Here are a few to get started with, but browse around (there are hundreds to choose from):

Running into Danger on an Alaskan Trail , by Cinthia Ritchie

Safe on the Southbank, by Elliot Ackerman

Familiar Ground , by Mark Montinaro

What do I do next?

Before you proceed any further, it’s important to understand the Common App essay’s purpose. Every piece of writing has a purpose, whether that’s to argue a thesis, persuade someone to buy a product, provide information, or entertain. Let’s go back to our short story example—if you’re writing a story solely for English class, your purpose might be to show your teacher that you understand the elements of short fiction. If you want the story to be published in a literary magazine, though, your purpose will be much different.

So, let’s review the purpose of a college personal statement: to add dimension to the rest of your application. As such, your personal statement should:

• Immerse the reader into your world
• Provide insight into something you value or think is important
• Allow the reader to connect with you

In addition to your essay’s purpose, it’s also important to understand 1) who your Common App personal statement will be read by and 2) how it will be evaluated.

Common App Essay Examples (Continued)

Firstly, your Common App essay does not get sucked into a black hole, never to be seen by human eyeballs again. It will be read in full by admissions officers at each college—real people who want to connect with you (and whose job it is to give due diligence to every part of your application). They’re not reading your essay to circle wonky sentences with a red pen or find reasons to fast-track your application to the circular file. Instead, they are reading your work with a focus on discovery. What can they learn about you that will tell them more about what kind of student, person, community member, and/or campus contributor you’ll be?

Moreover, many admissions offices utilize a multi-step holistic decision-making process. Although your essay will likely be read several times by several different readers, the first round of review is typically focused on whether you have sufficient academic preparation and/or potential to succeed as a student. Later rounds—if your application makes it to that point—are when admissions officers typically look more closely at subjective elements like teacher recommendations and essays.

That said, know that essays are not deciding factors in admissions decisions. They can be a strong factor, particularly if your application falls in the middle of the pool at any given institution, because they help an admissions committee understand more about you and what qualities or experiences you would bring to campus if admitted. However, your essay alone will not get you admitted to or rejected from any given college.

What are the elements of a strong Common App essay?

A piece of writing’s purpose will give you essential insight into what elements are most important within that piece of writing. For example, fiction is supposed to immerse the reader into the world of the author’s creation, ultimately offering new perspectives and insights. As such, setting and character development are two major elements of any fiction piece.

Accordingly, a Common App essay’s purpose gives us insight into its most important elements. Remember, a strong Common App essay:

• Immerses the reader into your world
• Provides insight into something you value or think is important
• Allows the reader to connect with you

…which means that the major elements to focus on are:

• Positive voice/tone

Reading Common App essay examples with a focus on the above three elements can be a highly effective way to understand the genre. Doing so will give you the building blocks you need for your own essay.

Before we look at a set of examples, though, let’s delve a little more deeply into the writing process as well as each of the above three elements.

How do I write a strong Common App essay?

Before you can start writing, you’ll need to choose a topic (or potential topic). When it comes to topics, the way you write about any given topic often outweighs the topic itself. ( See exceptions here . ) Accordingly, the topic that is often the most successful is one that:

• You feel most excited or inspired to write about
• Allows you to immerse the reader in your world/experiences
• Gives you the opportunity to reflect

Once you’ve chosen a topic, ask yourself the following question before/as you write:

Why does this story matter to me?

This question is the big kahuna. Why this story? You don’t have to know how your essay will unfold or what conclusions you will arrive at, but you should have a sense of why this topic is important to you to explore in the first place. Try jotting it down at the top of your page:

I want to write about how art helped me deal with my mom’s cancer diagnosis. It matters to me because art is a huge part of who I am. I want colleges to know that my passion for art is something I’m very serious about.

I’m planning to write about my ACL tear last year. It made me realize that I no longer want to play soccer competitively. Instead, I want to pursue politics! I think this shows that I’m able to turn obstacles into opportunities and adapt to change. I want colleges to know that about me.

The “big picture” is important. Let it guide and inform your early outlines and drafts.

Once you’ve nailed down why this story matters to you, it’s time to start thinking about how you want to tell it. You might want to make a list of specific anecdotes, memories, or experiences related to your story and see which one(s) you feel most drawn to. For example:

Why this story matters to me

Related Stories

• Getting my art box for my birthday
• When my brother scratched his bike and I repainted it
• The first time I went to Art Club
• Working on my art show submission
• Painting mailboxes in my neighborhood

Ultimately, you might incorporate more than one story into your essay, but for now, you’ll just want to choose one to begin with. Close your eyes and pick the first story or image that comes to mind. Start writing it down with the goal of being as specific and descriptive as possible. Ask yourself:

• What did I see, hear, smell, and/or feel?

For example, consider the following three sentences:

• There’s a stream behind my house.
• A sluggish, polluted stream winds through the woods behind my house.
• A crystal-clear brook gurgles over rocks in my mother’s garden.

The first sentence doesn’t provide much detail, right? Consequently, you’ll automatically insert your own images, picturing a stream that you know versus the stream behind my house. My job is to immerse you in my world, though, which means that I need to be more specific!

In contrast, the second and third sentences each describe a very specific stream. Notice how much power I have as the writer to evoke different images and strike a particular tone. Use this to your advantage! Either sentence would immerse you into my world, help you connect with me, and reinforce theme.

It’s completely fine if your early drafts include a surplus of details. As you refine your drafts, focus on preserving details that enhance the narrative and removing details that may be distracting. For example:

A sluggish, polluted stream winds through the woods behind my house. There’s a tree next to it that towers thirty feet high, housing chattering birds and squirrels. The stream originates from a reservoir several miles away, and when we visited several months ago after noticing the worsening water quality, we noticed that the reservoir’s beaches were littered with trash and that it was being used as a dumping ground by a local construction company. This is when I threw myself into creating a proposal to bring before the town council that would protect the reservoir.

The focus of this essay is clearly on the writer’s efforts to protect and clean the reservoir. As such, the tree near her house may be a detail that the writer could remove. However, is there anything else she could add about the reservoir’s surrounding area that would paint an even clearer picture of what’s at stake? Is there a dearth of wildlife? Suffering plant life? A moratorium on fishing? Those details could vivify this paragraph.

You’ve written out your story and included lots of detail. Great! Now, you must balance the descriptive, storytelling elements of your essay with an appropriate level of interiority and reflection. To do so, you’ll want to ask yourself:

Where could I reflect on my experience or reveal my thoughts and feelings?

Raise your hand if you’ve heard “Show, don’t tell” your whole life. However, did you know that almost every piece of writing incorporates both showing and telling? In personal essays, the balance between both elements is essential. While you should certainly “show” readers what your experience was like via the use of details and description, you should also “tell” them why it matters. Reflect on your experience—what was hard? What did you learn or wonder, think or feel? Which lessons are you taking forward?

In addition to demonstrating how you think and process information, your reflection also gives your reader another opportunity to connect with you on a personal level. We’ll point out specific examples of interiority and reflection in the example essays below, but be on the lookout for where writers use statements like these: “I thought…” “I felt…” “I wondered…” “I decided…” which often signal reflective moments.

Check Your Tone

The concept of voice feels nebulous to many writers. Essentially, readers hear your writing voice through what you choose to write about and how you choose to write about it. If you’re providing specific details as well as an appropriate level of reflection and writing in a style that feels comfortable and natural to you, trust that your voice is shining through, even if it doesn’t feel that way as you write!

As for tone, we suggest aiming for general positivity. However, positive doesn’t mean that you have to hype yourself up, slap a shiny bow on an unresolved issue, or arrive at a forced ending. It simply means that your essay should have some sort of upward trajectory and arrive at a hopeful or forward-thinking conclusion.

Let’s look at three examples of tone:

In the end, my reservoir proposal didn’t go through. It left me feeling annoyed and depressed. I was mad for a pretty long time about this outcome, but I think I’m ready to move forward.

This tone feels fairly negative, ending the essay on an unresolved note and potentially causing the reader to wonder: is this writer really ready to move forward?

My proposal made it to the last round, which shows how hard I worked. Making it to the last round was the greatest thing to happen to me—it made me a stronger person in the long run!

Too much! Too much! Being excessively upbeat and self-congratulatory can send red flags of its own.

In the end, my proposal made it to the last round but didn’t go through. This was a tough outcome. However, I decided to re-evaluate my motivation and priorities, which helped me overhaul my strategy. After more research, practice, and preparation, I’m more than ready to try again. Most importantly, I’m confident I’ll be able to handle future setbacks with grace and tact.

Much improved. While the writer is honest about being disappointed, she also shares how she adjusted and how she’d like to move forward. There isn’t a clear resolution per se, but that’s okay—there’s still plenty of positive momentum and a sense of how she’d handle future challenges.

Okay, I’ve written a draft. How do I make sure it’s still on track?

Remember that your Common App essay’s purpose is to:

• Connect with the reader

…which means that you’ll need to focus on the following elements:

Accordingly, after you complete a draft, ask yourself the following:

• Which details immerse the reader in my world? Do I need to add more?
• Did I reflect on my experience or reveal my thoughts?
• What do admissions officers learn about me?

To get into each element more deeply, let’s dive into our example essays.

First, Examples #1-6 will highlight where writers incorporated detail and reflection as well as the overall final takeaway that a reader may walk away with.

Next, Examples #7-8 will explain where writers could incorporate more detail and/or reflection for a stronger essay.

Finally, Examples #9-10 are early, in-progress drafts. We’ll share what developmental feedback we would give these writers to help them move forward.

Common App Essay Examples: Essay #1

On a hot day last summer, my brother ran his bike into the mailbox. He skinned his knee, but was less worried about that and more worried about the chipped paint on his new red bike. Tears welling in his eyes, he rubbed the chip with his finger and even more paint flaked off.

“Wait,” I said. “Wait here for just one minute.”

I had taken my brother outside because my mom was sleeping after a chemo treatment, but I ran upstairs as quickly and quietly as I could to get my box of paints. It’s a wooden box, smudged with charcoal fingerprints and streaks of acrylics. I hadn’t always been an artist, but when my art teacher noticed the designs in my notebook margins and asked if I wanted to come to an art club meeting, I decided to try it.

At that first meeting, my teacher taught us how to create a mountain sunrise. As the painting took shape, I marveled at the techniques–using my thumbprint to create the sun, crafting shadows with surprising colors, creating different effects by applying varying types of pressure to my brush. I was also surprised that focusing on my piece felt so meditative–it was the first time since my mom’s diagnosis that I hadn’t been preoccupied with whether her treatments would work or what I was going to cook my brother for dinner.

“What do you want on your bike?” I asked my brother. “Instead of the scratch.” I opened up my box and pointed toward his bike. His eyes widened.

“Anything I want?” he asked.

He chose a baseball bat, and crouched next to me as I painted. When I was done, he said, “Can you paint a baseball, too? Over here.” He pointed to the other end of the bike.

“I’ll show you how.” I dipped his thumb in white and pressed it on the bike’s frame, then showed him how to use my thinnest brush to add curved red stitching.

Word spread quickly about my bike designs. My brother’s friends stopped by the house with pictures of designs that they wanted, and my neighbor’s little girls shyly approached when I was outside with my brother, asking for butterflies. I started carrying my paints around just in case. The kids always gave me something–a shiny rock they’d found, a few quarters, a special feather. It makes me smile when I look out the window and see those bikes pedaling around the neighborhood, my brother’s among them. It makes my mom smile, too. I asked what she would want painted on her bike if she had one, and she said a sunflower. I painted one on our mailbox, cheery and yellow, its stem curling around the handle and down the post.

There are always new techniques to learn and improvements to strive toward, but I feel that art is about trying to create meaning within a chosen medium. There’s so much I can’t control, but what I can do is create beauty in my life and in the lives of others. It’s why I started teaching an afterschool art class at my brother’s elementary school, why I’m currently working on a wall mural in the children’s room at the library, why I’ve taught myself graphic design skills to create posters for art club events and shows. Also, my mailbox paint creations gained so much popularity that my entire street commissioned me to do their boxes. I donated the money to cancer research, but more importantly, the designs are a beacon of support to my mom each day that she feels strong enough to walk outside and check the mail.

Although college will bring new challenges, I also know it will bring a new collection of scratched-up bikes and bare mailboxes, waiting to be painted with brightly colored designs that allow me to express myself and impact others.

What we can learn from this example:

Let’s run down our list of questions:

Which details immerse you in the writer’s world?

This essay is loaded with specific details: her brother’s bike, her art box, her first art club meeting, and her drawings/designs, to name a few. These details help us picture her environment and connect with her experience.

Where did she reflect on her experience or reveal her thoughts?

She provides the most significant reflection in the final two paragraphs, where she tells us why art is so important to her, how she stays involved, and that she wants to continue using art to engage & connect with others in college. However, she also provides small moments of reflection throughout the essay, such as in paragraph four: “I was also surprised that focusing on my piece felt so meditative–it was the first time since my mom’s diagnosis that I hadn’t been preoccupied with whether her treatments would work or what I was going to cook my brother for dinner.” Without that sentence, it might be difficult to understand why art became so important to her.

What will admissions officers learn about her?

She’s creative, dedicated, and empathetic. She’s also clearly a leader who takes initiative, both within her family and in her community.

In sum, this writer used details and reflection to help readers understand what she finds important—in the process, she’s given her essay a positive tone and clear voice.

Common App Essay Examples: Essay #2

By some people’s standards, my grandma might be considered a hoarder. When I say there is stuff everywhere at our house, I mean it: broken crystal glasses from a hundred years ago, old watch straps, a shockingly large collection of thumbtacks. Three coffee makers that haven’t worked since before I was born. A broom no one uses because it doesn’t actually sweep anything up.

Whenever I make a motion to throw something out–an empty spice jar for example, or socks with holes in them, my grandma acts personally insulted. (She has also been known to survey the trash can for offending items.) She’ll take it from me grouchily and remind me of its potential uses–spice jars can be cinnamon and sugar shakers! Socks are free dusters! Sometimes, though, she doesn’t have a reason beyond “I might need it someday.”

College Essay Examples (Continued)

At first, I thought this statement was weird. What could we possibly need a cracked Tupperware container for? But then I learned that her attitude stems, in part, from growing up on a rural farm. Everything was repurposed, and it was common to keep things that may not have direct uses, knowing you’d likely find one at some point or another. For example, a large plastic container with a broken lid could be turned on its side and stuffed with hay for the cat in the winter, or plastic bread bags could be used to pack school lunches. Dried-up markers? Homemade watercolor paint. Egg cartons and dryer lint? Fire starters. Chipped bowl? Bird bath.

Her attitude made me interested in our collective willingness to sentence an item to the trash before finding a reuse for it. We buy cheap clothes knowing they might only last us a year. Single-use plastic still dominates, even though the vast majority of it heads to the landfill instead of being recycled. Old jeans are tossed instead of patched up and used as gardening pants, like my grandma does. The worst part is that we do all this knowing that our planet is undergoing irreversible shifts as a result of climate change. The world we’re heading toward is a world none of us can possibly be prepared for.

But what if people could be convinced to adopt my grandma’s mindset? And what would it take to inspire such behavioral changes on a large scale? I started learning about the field of neuroeconomics through books, podcasts, and a summer course at our local college, and became fascinated with the neuroscience behind decision-making. Could principles of neuroeconomics influence environmental policy? What factors could help people make long-lasting, environmentally conscious changes, and how we might facilitate them? These are massive, long-term questions. For now, was there a way to inspire my friends to start being more mindful of their consumption? To start reusing spaghetti jars and dusting with hole-y socks? And what might people be willing to donate or repurpose when there was a community effort to do so?

So, me and my grandma started advertising our services, and the response was unlike anything I could have possibly imagined. We now have a garage full of items that we either donate, sell, or repair, everything from antique dresses that my grandma soaks the stains out of to custom-patched jeans to dressers and wooden toys that need a quick sanding and fresh coat of paint. Our yard sales have become legendary and I’m the go-to kid when people have an old end table with Buzz Lightyear on it that they don’t know what to do with. “Drop it off at my grandma’s,” I say, and they do. Until I can figure out how to effect the kind of large-scale change I’d like to make, I’ll start small and keep going, hopeful that I’m making a difference one revitalized sock at a time.

There’s the coffeemakers, the broom that doesn’t sweep, the socks, the jeans, the repairable items…we could go on. Since this essay is about this writer’s interest in sustainability, notice that he exclusively focuses on specific examples of repurposable items. Such a move supports the narrative rather than acting as filler.

Where did he reflect on his experience or reveal his thoughts?

This writer reflects throughout the essay by using “I” statements (“I thought…”) and asking direct questions, both of which are powerful ways to let readers in on his thought process—and show how it changed.

What will admissions officers learn about him?

This writer is intellectually curious, open-minded, and humorous. It’s also clear that he’s passionate about sustainability and the environment, and is committed to exploring new initiatives and possibilities in college.

Common App Essay Examples: Essay #3

My life has always been punctuated by my father’s military deployments, like periods placed in the middle of sentences. I often measured time in relation to them: before, during, or after , holding my breath for my father’s departure or homecoming, for the inevitable extensions and sporadic phone calls, for the unexpected emotions and responsibilities. By the time I was in high school, my father had been gone for more of my childhood than he had been present, and in tenth grade, my parents decided to divorce.

Until then, I had always been surrounded by friends who also had an active duty parent. We didn’t have to explain to each other what the ups and downs felt like. We just knew. I knew that when Mariela’s father’s deployment got extended, she could use a trip to the beach, her favorite place, knew that one of the most painful parts of the whole deployment cycle was the anticipation, and would check in with my friends more frequently during that time, knew that the first week often felt the most discombobulated, and was usually when my mom would offer to drop off meals or help ferry kids to after-school activities. That first week was also the time when things usually went wrong: a burst pipe, a dead car battery, a broken washing machine. Murphy’s Law , my mom always said.

I had spent my entire life existing within this predictably unpredictable cycle. So, when my mom and I moved right before my junior year to a small condo ten minutes from my grandparents but 2,000 miles away from my father’s last duty station, I assumed it wouldn’t be that much different from other moves. I’d join new clubs, make new friends, get to know our neighbors.

But I was immediately confronted by a sense of otherness in a community of kids who had known each other since kindergarten. Explaining where I’d lived before–and why–either solicited shocked reactions “You’ve moved six times?” or prying questions “Why didn’t you stay with your dad?” Mentioning a deployment received a blank stare.  I felt like the previous version of me, the way I’d always thought of myself–as a military kid–was no longer true, or had somehow evaporated into thin air.

Then, last spring, I had an unexpected breakthrough. My chemistry lab partner struggled with some of the steps. As I explained them to her, she visibly relaxed and shot me a thankful smile. I grinned too, because in that moment, I felt more like myself than I had in months.

Later that week, I applied for a peer tutoring position and was accepted. I feel passionate about trying to make personal connections with my students so that I can try to understand and anticipate their needs. I notice whether some students like to brainstorm ideas aloud before writing them down, or prefer when I use pictures to explain concepts. Some students appreciate small talk for a few minutes before we get started, and others need to be more efficient, trying to squeeze in a tutoring session before their after-school job. Not only that, but as I got to know my fellow tutors, I found friendship and connection. When Sophia’s brother was in the hospital, I picked her up for an afternoon movie. On the night of my piano recital, Olivia and Mary were in the front row cheering me on.

I’ve come to understand that my previous identity is still part of me, even though I now live a very different lifestyle than I did several years ago. Sometimes, I still miss being a military kid. But all the lessons I learned from that time in my life–the importance of a supportive community, empathy, kindness, and anticipating others’ needs–are always with me, informing everything I do.

What we can learn from this college essay example:

Writing about significant challenges is one circumstance where you can choose to be somewhat less descriptive. Notice that the writer contains her challenges in the first half of the essay and only includes need-to-know details. For example, we don’t need to know the reason for her parents’ divorce, or every nitty-gritty deployment detail. She sticks to the facts.

However, she incorporates more specifics into the second half of the essay, including details about particular conversations/comments, her tutoring experience, and her friends.

In an essay about a challenge, reflection is almost always placed toward the end of the essay. You can see that this writer reflected on her experiences in the final few paragraphs, taking time to appreciate where she’s been and where she’s going. However, she uses “I” statements throughout to let us in on what she was thinking and feeling, ex. “I assumed it wouldn’t be much different from other moves…” “I felt like the previous version of me…”

She’s resilient and adaptable, which she’s conveyed through her mature and positive tone. Remember, a positive tone isn’t forced or fake—it simply means that your essay has forward momentum or a positive future outlook. At the end of this essay, one has the overall sense that, even though this writer sometimes struggles with her new lifestyle, she’s ready to take on new challenges. It’s also clear that she values and prioritizes being part of a community.

Common App Essay Examples: Essay #4

The scent of crushed garlic permeates the air, mingling with tamari and sesame oil. The nutty smell of brown butter hits my nose next, followed by earthy sage. Something sweet and spicy—sweet potatoes tossed in cinnamon and gochujang.

Most Saturday mornings, the kitchen counter is a mess of ingredients, whisks, and hot pans with my parents shuffling around in the middle, kneading bread or marinating meat. They’re rarely home for dinner during the week, but Saturdays are when we try our hand at everything from my Italian great-grandmother’s tomato-stained lasagna recipe to new dishes like bulgogi, potstickers, and garlic naan.

Often, the recipes fail miserably the first time. A few months ago, our naan dough was so sticky that it was difficult to knead and then impossible to flip in the pan. Our raviolis split open when we dropped them in boiling water; our lemon curd always broke. Without fail, though, there was some special trick we were missing. My mom’s best friend, who gave us the naan recipe, showed us how to oil our hands before kneading the dough and brush the back of each naan with water before dropping it into the pan. The result? Perfectly chewy and easy-to-flip bread. YouTube tutorials fixed our ravioli problem—turns out we needed to turn down the heat and avoid overloading the pot. (We’re still figuring out the lemon curd.)

I always write down the adjustments in the margins of our recipe notebook, adjustments that are sometimes happy accidents, like when we successfully thickened a soup with cashews instead of butter or accidentally added cinnamon to a chocolate chip cookie recipe. It made me embrace the mindset that whatever problem we were facing could always be creatively solved.

It was this sense of possibility that helped me navigate new territory last year. After extensive testing and many years of chronic stomach problems and headaches, I was diagnosed with a gluten intolerance. I felt both relieved and nervous as I wondered whether our cooking Saturdays would be more difficult. My mom, however, seemed undeterred and immediately started researching gluten-free substitutes and flours. We quickly found that there were an overwhelming number of flour possibilities—tapioca, rice, coconut, almond, oat—all combined in various ratios and used for differing purposes.

We decided to test the flours one by one, quickly finding that coconut flour cannot be directly substituted for regular flour, almond flour naturally creates a chewier cookie, and gluten-free flours almost always need more moisture than regular flour. Every time we successfully modified one of our “old” recipes, I felt both energized and encouraged that I didn’t have to give up foods I loved just because I was gluten-free.

My experiences have made me realize that food inclusivity can be an underrated yet simple way to show kindness to others. After multiple events and birthday parties where I brought my own snacks or avoided the food table, I’ve become more mindful of people’s food traditions and considerations. For example, one of my Indian friends eats exclusively vegetarian while my Muslim friend doesn’t eat pork. My cousin has an anaphylactic peanut allergy, and my neighbor recently became vegan for environmental reasons. When they come over to study or hang out, I love the smile I get when they realize they can eat whatever snack or baked good I’ve made (especially if it’s brownies).

In addition to empathy, all those Saturday mornings cooking with my parents—and the food knowledge I’ve gained from our friends and family—have encouraged my adaptability. Instead of focusing on what might go wrong, I focus on how I can always learn something new if I’m open-minded enough to do it. Making perfect ravioli might just mean turning down the heat, unsticking my naan might just require a little sprinkle of water, and finding new friends in college might just take a warm plate of nut-free, vegan, gluten-free brownies.

This writer used quite a few sensory food details and specifics throughout, from what the food tasted and smelled like to details about recipes. As such, the focal point of her essay—food—comes to life for us in a way we can easily envision.

She also grouped her details in threes. When you have a number of potential examples to share—as this writer did—consider embracing the rule of three. Our brains like patterns, and three is typically the sweet spot of effectiveness and memorability. Notice that this writer uses three examples in several areas: the opening paragraph, third paragraph, sixth paragraph, and final paragraph. Limiting yourself to three can be an excellent way to increase your writing’s power and simultaneously reduce words. Win-win!

This writer reflected in several places, mostly in the second half of the essay. She uses “I” statements to signal how her thoughts evolved—“I felt nervous…” “I wondered…” “My experiences made me realize…” In addition, she specifically discusses two values that are the most important to her: empathy and adaptability.

She’s empathetic, adaptable, and family-oriented. She’s also perseverant, willing to try new things, and values connection with others.

Common App Essay Examples: Essay #5

I’ve always been obsessed with the ocean. Bioluminescent plankton. Killer whales. Alien-like creatures that only exist in the abyssal zone, a place less explored than outer space. As a child, I spent summer beach days observing tide pools and writing down what I saw in a notebook. I learned about scientists like Eugenie Clark and Sylvia Earle, fearless crusaders who explored the ocean through scuba diving and deep-sea expeditions. Although many jobs within marine biology don’t require diving ability, I dreamed of being the type of scientist who boldly investigates underwater caves and cascades down to the bottom of the ocean in a submersible with bizarre and never-before-seen fish flashing past the tiny windows.

Even though the cold waters near our home weren’t exactly a diving mecca, I didn’t care. All I wanted to do was learn. I started saving up money to pay for lessons and was so excited when I finally had enough to take an introductory course. The class started out in a pool, and once we mastered a certain set of skills, we’d be able to do our first open-water dive.

Since I loved the ocean so much, I thought diving would come naturally to me. However, this couldn’t be further from the truth. I managed to keep up until it came time to work on clearing our masks underwater, which is when you rinse the inside of the mask while you’re diving rather than have to re-surface every time the glass fogs. However, whenever I loosened my mask to flood it with water, I couldn’t push away the nagging sense of panic. I kept sucking water up my nose instead of blowing out and would immediately need to surface, choking and gasping.

I tried again. And again. And again. Over and over, the mask clearing went sideways: I’d press on the seal, tilt my head up, and attempt to blow through my nose, only to inhale instead of exhale or become overwhelmed by the water clouding my vision. After several weeks and little improvement, my instructor sat me down to discuss taking a break.

Honestly, rather than feeling a sense of failure, all I felt was a sense of relief. However, as soon as I got home, that instant relief was replaced by intense disappointment. Diving was my dream, and I couldn’t let myself give up that easily.

I knew that there must be something mentally preventing me from enjoying diving and being able to complete certain skills. To figure out what that “something” was, I started talking to both beginning and experienced divers on online forums, who were quick to share their own experiences of struggling on their first dives. They emphasized water comfort as well as mindfulness techniques, such as yoga and meditation. Instead of diving, I started heading to the pool multiple days per week, doing laps and getting more comfortable in the water, in addition to taking a yoga class and meditating every morning.

Several months ago, I went back to my diving class with renewed purpose and confidence. I successfully cleared my mask underwater and quickly mastered the next set of skills. And two weeks ago, when I lowered myself beneath the surface of the ocean on my first open-water dive, it was nothing short of magical.

Diving is about more than my childhood dream—it’s about my confidence in myself. Although it was a longer journey than I anticipated, I’m proud of myself for committing to my goal. Rather than allowing myself to believe that my fears can’t be overcome and that I have to live with limited opportunities, I choose to embrace the belief that having fears—and confronting them—will only make me a stronger diver and a more resilient scientist.

In addition to her specific childhood interests, the writer also goes into detail about her scuba diving classes—what they were like, what went wrong (particularly in regard to mask-clearing), and what she did to overcome her fears. For example, in the sixth paragraph, she gives us detailed specifics about the actions she took: “Instead of diving, I started heading to the pool multiple days per week, doing laps and getting more comfortable in the water, in addition to taking a yoga class and meditating every morning.” Imagine how much less effective that paragraph might be if she instead wrote “I decided to try out some of their suggestions, and they worked.”

If you’re writing an essay about a particular failure or struggle, think about why it felt so significant, and be sure to incorporate that “why” into your essay. This writer does so in the final paragraph, where she discusses why overcoming her diving-related obstacles was such a significant step for her.

They’ll learn that she has grit, perseverance, resilience, and self-awareness. She’s willing to fail and try again. Not only that, she’s willing to reflect on her experience and use what she learned to continue growing.

Common App Essay Examples: Essay #6

It happened quickly. One minute, I was wide open, waiting to catch a throw during my family’s annual Thanksgiving football game. The next minute, I was being tackled to the ground by my cousin and felt something pop.

At first, I thought the pop was something benign. Air cracking through a joint, maybe. I rolled over to stand up, but my right leg gave out beneath me as soon as I tried to put weight on it. My cousin helped me limp inside and my mom piled frozen corn bags on my knee. Within an hour, it had swelled to the size of baseball and I was in too much pain to move.

Several specialists and an MRI later, I was diagnosed with an ACL tear and scheduled for surgery. This news would have been difficult enough without the fear that now ballooned in my mind: what about soccer ?

I’d been a competitive soccer player since I was three, and I loved the game. Actually, I didn’t just love it, I lived and breathed for it. Singularly focused on my dream of becoming a professional athlete, I dedicated multiple hours per week to improving my skills on and off the field.

But the ACL tear changed everything. It would be at least nine months before I could play soccer again, and I was terrified about what that would mean. Would I now be passed over during the college recruiting process? Was this the beginning of the end?

I felt sorry for myself for several weeks before deciding that I had a choice in how the next steps played out. College soccer or no college soccer, my team now was important to me. While I was recovering at home, I convinced my coach to send me videos of soccer practices so I could stay up to date on our team’s strategy, and I was disciplined about physical therapy as soon as I could after the surgery.

However, I also started pouring my extra time into an unexpected place: history. I’d always been interested in the Cold War, and had listened to a few podcasts about it, but digging in even further made me obsessed with McCarthyism as well as the psychological manipulation that occurred at various levels of government during that time. I wondered: how does peer pressure influence adults, particularly at the highest levels of government? How do people perceive threats to their political survival? Is it possible for politicians to sacrifice themselves on the altar of their morals, or is it more likely that they’ll always act in their own best interests? I could even see these same questions playing out in the political landscape today.

When I went back to school post-surgery, a new ritual began: before hobbling over to the field to watch my team’s soccer practice, I’d be in my AP History teacher’s classroom, picking his brain about whatever topic had claimed my attention that week. He ultimately recommended me for a summer program at a local college that investigated political ethics, where I found a group of friends who shared my interests. To this day, we’re constantly sharing political articles in our group text and discussing them together spiritedly.

Giving myself the space to go in new directions, and to learn more about who I am now, changed everything. I realized I had never challenged my dream of being a professional soccer player, never asked myself if that was what I really wanted until I had to. I’ll always love soccer, and always bring my all to any field I’m on. But I love other things, too, and I now am looking for a space where I can be curious, ask new questions, and push what I think I know in new ways. Where will my current interests lead me? I can’t wait to find out.

For starters, this writer provides a solid level of detail about the injury itself. Rather than saying “I tore my ACL playing football” he gives us some context and detail about where he was, who he was playing with, and what happened. It might seem small, but these details allow us to envision his experience. In the second half of the essay, he also provides specifics about his political interests, including his current questions and curiosities.

Moreover, his essay includes a number of small details that alert us to his drive and dedication. For example, in the eighth paragraph, he could have said, “…a new ritual began: I stopped in to see my AP History teacher before soccer practice.” Instead, he wrote: “…. a new ritual began: before hobbling over to the field to watch my team’s soccer practice, I’d be in my AP History teacher’s classroom….” His language communicates that it was difficult for him to get to both places, even though he doesn’t expressly tell us that.

This writer reflects at the beginning and end of the essay. In the first few paragraphs, he shares what he was thinking and feeling during the aftermath of the ACL tear, which helps us empathize with his situation and understand why it felt so significant. In the final paragraph, he then arrives at some conclusions about the “big picture” and where he plans to go from here.

You may have heard the advice to avoid writing about sports or sports injuries in your college essay, but we’ve seen many students write powerful essays about sports when they lean deeply into how the event or injury affected them on a personal level. This writer did just that, using his injury to demonstrate his resilience, ability to overcome challenges, and willingness to challenge his beliefs. In addition, by asking open-ended questions, he also showcases his intellectual passions/curiosities.

Okay, time to put our skills to the test! The following two essays could use some additional tweaking. Let’s figure out where:

Common app essay examples: essay #7.

Beep. As the cashier passes each item over the scanner, she rolls it in my direction, where I have a growing collection of produce, soup cans, and chip bags. Beep. I sort through the heap, automatically stacking cans and moving eggs and bread to the side. Beep.

“Paper, plastic, or reusable?” I ask.

I started my job as a grocery bagger last summer, and at first, it seemed like it would be easy money. However, on my first day, I quickly learned that bagging groceries was part art, part science.

How hard could this be? I assumed the goal should be to load each bag with as many items as possible, and so placed three jars of spaghetti sauce, canned vegetables, and a half-gallon of milk in one bag, confident that I was being efficient.

Wrong. So, so wrong.

As soon as I lifted the bag toward the cart, the handles ripped off and the entire thing crashed to the floor. The cans rolled in multiple directions; the milk skidded across the tiles in what seemed like slow motion.

No spills. Phew .

I breathed a sigh of relief about those glass jars of sauce…until I picked up the bag. The inside was now a crime scene of tomatoes and broken glass. The cashier rolled her eyes at me and other customers stopped to crane their necks and see what was happening. I wanted to disappear.

“Hey, kid.” An older man limped over to where I was standing and took the bag from my hands. “Why don’t you go grab this lady some new sauce?”

I scurried off to the spaghetti sauce aisle, my cheeks burning with embarrassment. How could I have messed up something as simple as bagging groceries?

I got the sauce and went back. Gerry—as I would soon come to know him—was standing at my bagging station, patiently sorting the customer’s pile of food. When he saw me, he gestured me over.

“Now,” he said. “Here’s what you do. Cans on the bottom, around the outside, see? But only a couple.” He watched me load some in. “No, no, that’s too many.” He took one out. “You should be able to easily lift it, see?” He picked up the bag with one hand.

“Cans around the outside. Good. Now glass in the middle. Take one of these—” he took a spaghetti sauce jar out of my hands and deposited it snugly between the cans. “Good. Now, what else we got? Put the boxes and crushable items on top—look, she’s got granola bars, popcorn. Yep, just like that.”

Gerry supervised me for the rest of the week, teaching me how to handle all kinds of bagging conundrums, like fresh meat (put it in a separate bag); cleaning supplies (don’t put them with the food, in case they leak); recently-misted produce (put another plastic bag over it to keep it from getting the rest of the groceries wet); and eggs (either on top of a mid-weight bag or at the bottom of a light bag. Oh, and tell the customer which bag the eggs are in!).

I’ve quickly learned our customers’ bagging preferences, and cashiers now often request me as their bagger. I’ve also learned that these interactions mean a lot to people, as properly bagged groceries make it easier for people to transport their food home efficiently and in one piece. Most importantly, Gerry taught me that nothing is more essential than your willingness to learn and do your best, no matter what job you find yourself doing.

Gerry retired last month, but I think of him whenever I’m training a new bagger or navigating ripped-bag catastrophes. And when I see a jar of spaghetti sauce coming down the conveyor belt, I can’t help but grin as I place it safely between a few cans.

How this writer could improve his essay:

Which details immerse you in the writer’s world? Do they need to add more?

This writer is doing great with details, making use of imagery to bring us into the narrative. We can clearly envision the groceries coming down the conveyor belt, the cans and jars being packed into bags, and even the writer’s horror at the bags ripping!

There is some reflection at the end of the essay, when the writer tells us what he’s learned. However, we’d love to see this writer do a little more digging. It’s clear that he learned some significant life lessons from Gerry that he’s tried to apply at work and beyond. However, the reflection feels a bit rushed. To strengthen, this writer might consider expanding on how he’s applied the lessons he’s learned as well as what he’s specifically discovered about himself or others in the process of doing so.

He’s willing to learn, is dependable and dedicated, and is committed to mastering new skills. If he could spend a little more time focusing on why his newfound life lessons felt so significant and how he applied them, it would help give admissions officers a better sense of him as both a person and a prospective member of their community.

Common App Essay Examples: Essay #8

I needed a four-letter word for “angry” that started with R, a type of eagle most commonly found in the Western United States, and a movie from the 1980s that featured characters named Allison, Brian, and Claire. I tapped my pencil on the side of my father’s hospital bed and then tried a few possibilities. “Rude”? No, the second letter needed to be A. “Rash”?

With my father on dialysis, my mother and I spent hours with him at the treatment center. Several days a week, I’d go straight there after school and do my homework in his room. Once, when I arrived, he had a small crossword puzzle book sitting on the bed and handed it to me with a weak smile.

He fell asleep halfway through the first one, but in the chaos and noise of beeping machines and nurses filtering in and out, and of my brain working overtime wondering how much the treatments would help, the crosswords were a simple yet challenging way to keep me busy. I’d often solve as many clues as I could and then save a few for when he woke up, particularly ones about bands from the 80s, old actors and TV shows, or comic book characters.

The crosswords soon infiltrated every area of my life. I’d work on one on the bus on the way to the hospital, between classes, while I was eating lunch. At first, my friends eyed me strangely, but they caught on to the addictiveness soon enough. There would usually be a group of us crowded around a half-solved puzzle at lunch, shouting out answers and penciling in possibilities.

Unexpectedly, crosswords also became a way to learn more about people I loved. A “Dubai” answer led one of my friends to excitedly share that she had been born there. Another friend enjoyed strategizing which section to attempt first. And I also noticed that my dad had an endless knowledge of politics, recalling past presidential candidates with ease. When I asked him how he could remember all of that, it led to stories about his younger days, doing door-to-door campaigning for local candidates. I was surprised because we’re both introverts, and I would feel so nervous to knock on doors. I asked him if anyone ever got upset about his political beliefs.

He took a minute to answer. “In my experience,” he said slowly. “If someone was upset, it meant that they cared. And if they cared, it meant we had something in common.”

After that conversation, I realized I should be pushing myself past what I thought I was capable of, both in and outside of my puzzles. I now try to take risks that I wouldn’t have taken otherwise, talk to people who I may not have tried to be friends with, and sign myself up for new experiences. In all of these situations, I do my best to learn about other people, just like my father did. It’s my goal to continue doing that in college.

How this writer could improve her essay:

This writer has already included a number of excellent details—specific crossword puzzle clues, the struggle of commuting back and forth to her father’s treatments, etc. She also helps us envision her lunchtime crossword gatherings as well as the new connections she began to make with her friends. However, she could add more details in the final paragraph—what risks has she tried to take? What new experiences has she taken on?

In this essay, notice that one reflection organically leads to another. In paragraph five, the writer tells us that crosswords helped her learn more about people she loved, which leads to additional insights about taking risks and pushing herself outside her comfort zone. However, these realizations don’t quite feel connected yet.

As such, this writer might elect to dig a little deeper into why it’s important to her to learn more about others and take risks. Outside of crossword puzzles, what specific examples can she share? In the process, she might uncover new connections.

Alternatively, she might decide that she wants to focus on one particular direction. Currently, she discusses her relationship with her friends as well as her father. However, she might decide that she wanted to write exclusively about how her deepened connection with her father inspired her to change and broaden her perspective.

They’ll learn that she’s intellectual, likes to challenge herself, and appreciates connection. However, as noted in the previous section, her essay is just starting to connect the dots between experiences and insights. Accordingly, this writer would do well to think about what she would like admissions officers to know and then structure her content more intuitively around that goal.

You’re basically a Common App essay expert now, so let’s switch gears and look at two early-stage freewrites. To strengthen their work, what could these students do next?

Common app essay examples: essay #9.

Last summer, I worked as a camp counselor, and by the last week, I could navigate multiple issues with ease. Between lost shoes, runny noses, and separation anxiety, I felt like I could handle anything that came my way. It hadn’t always been like this, though.

When I first started working as a summer camp counselor, I thought my main objective was to make sure that the campers were always having a positive experience. “Don’t cry!” I would say. “Your mom will be back to pick you up later!” Or “Why are you sad? We’re going to have so much fun today!” But it rarely helped. Sometimes, my advice would only make the kids more upset. Other times, they would look at me accusingly as if I couldn’t possibly have any idea what they were experiencing. I struggled with why my efforts to connect were falling flat.

With the help of my sister, I finally realized that trying to empathize with my campers instead of trying to make them feel happy all the time allowed me to connect with them on a deeper level. I was able to do this by thinking about my own summer camp experiences, and trying to remember how it felt to miss my mom or struggle during a certain activity.

Dealing with our own feelings—and other people’s feelings—is complicated and sometimes doesn’t make any sense. By approaching my campers, my friends, and my family members with empathy and a goal to try to relate to them, I am doing my best to create stronger relationships.

Where this writer could go from here:

First, what does this writer want to share about herself with colleges?

She wants to share how much she values building meaningful connections with others.

Right now, this writer is painting with very broad strokes, and we’d encourage her to add more detail! To bring us into her experience, this writer might try “showing” rather than “telling,” particularly at the beginning of the essay. What types of details could “show” us how she handles different situations as a camp counselor? For example, “Between lost shoes, runny noses, and separation anxiety, I felt like I could handle anything that came my way” might evolve into:

“Miss, do you have a tissue?”

“I’m hungry!”

“I can’t find my shoe…”

There were two packs of tissues in my back pocket, and I handed one to Julian. I reassured Anna that snack time was in ten minutes. And I had seen Michelle’s shoe somewhere…yes! There it was, tucked behind the plant.  

Michelle stuck her shoe on and ran off; Anna begrudgingly joined a group playing hide and seek. But Julian kept crying. I sat down next to him and asked him if he was okay. He told me he missed his mom.

“That’s okay,” I said. “I remember missing my mom at summer camp, too.”

Julian cried for a few more minutes and blew his nose. I asked him if he wanted a drink of water. He shook his head…

Where did this writer reflect on her experience or reveal her thoughts?

Although this writer reflects briefly at the end of the essay, notice that it doesn’t feel earned yet because we haven’t yet learned how she ultimately arrived there. How exactly did she practice and build empathy? How and why has her experience as a summer camp counselor changed the way that she approaches other relationships? If she could lean into specific experiences as well as her own thoughts, feelings, and vulnerabilities, she’d be on her way to a significantly stronger piece.

Common App Essay Examples: Essay #10

For my seventh birthday, my parents got me a chia pet. (I had been asking for a dog, but no such luck.) The chia pet came in a cute gray pot that looked like a hedgehog, and once you planted the seeds and they sprouted, the grass was supposed to look like hair. My parents said if I took this responsibility seriously I could potentially get a more interesting pet (maybe not a dog, but a fish or a Venus fly trap was on the table) so seven-year-old me dove in head-first.

I planted the seeds, set the pot on my window sill, and spritzed it dutifully with a small spray bottle daily. If you’ve ever grown chia seeds, you know that they sprout like crazy. Before I knew it, my chia pet needed a haircut every other day, and my parents were instantly regretting their promise to upgrade my pet roster.

But now, I didn’t want a fish or a dog. I wanted more plants. Soon enough, my window sill was covered with plants, and I’ve spent the past ten years growing my collection even larger. I’ve taken my efforts outside, too, redoing my family’s garden and teaching my friends and family about how to choose plants for their yards.

My seven-year-old self merely wanted a pet to take care of, and had no idea that my first chia pet would lead me to where it has today. I still remember the excitement I felt about the possibility of expanding my collection, an excitement that I continue to feel as I learn about plants.  In college, I want to major in horticulture, with an emphasis on sustainable spaces. I’ve found that a lot of people want to make changes to their space and be more sustainable, but they’re not sure how to do that. If I could be the one who teaches them how, I’d absolutely love it.

First, what does this writer want to share about himself with colleges?

He’s passionate about growing plants, which has not only shaped his extracurricular activities (he interns at a greenhouse) but also what he wants to study in college.

This writer starts off very strong, with a humorous and very specific anecdote about his very first plant. To continue bringing readers into his story and help them connect with who he is now , he’ll want to continue incorporating that same level of detail throughout the essay. At the moment, a whole ten-year period of his life is summarized rather quickly. Providing specific examples that help us understand how his journey unfolded over time would be a powerful addition.

Writing about formative childhood memories in college essays is completely fine as long as approximately half the essay—and the reflection in particular—centers on who you are now and how you’ve grown. Notice that his current reflection focuses heavily on what he was thinking and feeling as a seven-year-old. Instead, he’ll want to lean into the excitement that he currently feels. Why is his plant collection so meaningful to him, and what about horticulture continues to interest and excite him? Are there particular topics that he’s passionate about or has had the opportunity to explore further during his internship? How does he know that he wants to work with people to create sustainable spaces?

Note: if this student’s love of plants had stayed firmly rooted in the past (i.e., the love of plants hadn’t progressed past age seven and had no bearing on current interests), we would have advised against this essay topic.

Final Thoughts – Common App Essay Examples

The college personal statement is an important part of the application that can reveal more about who you are and what you’ll bring to a college campus. Studying the genre is an essential part of being well-prepared to do your best writing, an exercise that includes understanding the essay’s purpose as well as its essential elements. When used appropriately, Common App essay examples can be an insightful addition to any writing process. Relax, be yourself, and know that admissions officers are eager to get to know you –the real, multidimensional, interesting person–behind the application.

• College Essay

Kelsea Conlin

Kelsea holds a BA in English with a concentration in Creative Writing from Tufts University, a graduate certificate in College Counseling from UCLA, and an MA in Teaching Writing from Johns Hopkins University. Her short fiction is forthcoming in Chautauqua .

• 2-Year Colleges
• Application Strategies
• Best Colleges by Major
• Best Colleges by State
• Big Picture
• Career & Personality Assessment
• College Search/Knowledge
• College Success
• Costs & Financial Aid
• Data Visualizations
• Dental School Admissions
• Extracurricular Activities
• Graduate School Admissions
• High School Success
• High Schools
• Homeschool Resources
• Law School Admissions
• Medical School Admissions
• Navigating the Admissions Process
• Online Learning
• Outdoor Adventure
• Private High School Spotlight
• Research Programs
• Summer Program Spotlight
• Summer Programs
• Teacher Tools
• Test Prep Provider Spotlight

“Innovative and invaluable…use this book as your college lifeline.”

— Lynn O'Shaughnessy

Nationally Recognized College Expert

College Planning in Your Inbox

Join our information-packed monthly newsletter.