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10 Great Common App Essay Examples From Accepted Students
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Prompt 1 Examples
Prompt 2 examples, prompt 3 examples, prompt 5 examples, prompt 6 examples.
When applying to college, few tasks seem as daunting and pivotal as crafting the Common App essay . This personal statement offers more than just a chance to showcase writing skills—it's a unique opportunity to share your story, illuminate your personality, and convince admissions committees that you belong on their campus. At Crimson Education, we understand the challenge and importance of this task. That's why we've compiled a selection of standout essays from past students who have successfully navigated the complexities of the Common App.
In this blog post, we'll dive into real student essays that correspond to this year's prompts. Each essay example is followed by a detailed analysis of what makes it effective, offering insight and inspiration for your writing process. These reviews have been meticulously crafted by our founder, Jamie Beaton, to provide you with expert guidance. Whether you're exploring your background, reflecting on a challenge you've overcome, or sharing a passion that consumes you, these essays serve as a guide to help you craft a narrative as compelling as your journey.
Join us as we explore how these applicants have turned personal anecdotes into acceptance letters and how you can do the same.
Please note: As of now, we do not have any example essays for the newly introduced Prompt 4. We are actively seeking standout essays that address this prompt and will update this blog post as soon as we have some great examples to share.
What Makes a Good Common App Essay Response?
A strong Common App essay should reflect the applicant's unique voice and personal experiences while adhering to the following criteria:
- Writing Quality : The essay should be extremely compelling in language and structure, lyrically written, playful, or artistic in its engagement with the material. It must be well-constructed with clear and coherent sentences.
- Personal Voice : The essay should be written so personally, with descriptions and storytelling so unique, that only the author could have written it.
- Level of Authenticity : Every sentence should be more than just plausible, but remarkably well-conceived and thoughtful. The student should demonstrate a sharp aptitude for connecting their experiences with broader insights or issues.
- Value System : The essay should demonstrate a profound understanding of their personal growth, consistent and abiding humility, and a strong understanding of the value of relationships rather than personal gain.
- Insight : The essay should demonstrate unusually deep insights into the described experience and clearly illustrate a profound takeaway.
- Bonus Points : Essays that successfully discuss a difficult topic or tackle an unusual or extraordinary idea in a compelling and impactful manner can earn bonus points.
Common App Essay Rubric
CRITERIA/SCORE | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 |
---|---|---|---|---|
Writing quality | Essay reads at a noticeably low level, with poorly constructed and unclear sentences or vague generalizations | Essay communicates its main idea well enough, but does not do so in compelling or clear detail; it is linguistically boring or structurally repetitive | Essay is well-structured, detailed, specific, direct, on-topic, and reads well, but does not stand out | Essay is extremely compelling in its language and structure, lyrically written, playful or artistic in how it engages with the material |
Personal voice | Essay is written as a series of factoids or as a bland narrative, and lacks a personal voice entirely | Essay is mostly list-like narrative ("this happened, then that happened") with only hints of the author’s inner monologue and personality | Essay is about a person rather than a list of events/accomplishments, and a clear, if not stunning, impression of whom the author is emerges from the text | Essay is written so personally, with descriptions and storytelling so unique, as to suggest that only the essay's author could have written it |
Level of Authenticity | Essay makes numerous implausible, silly, or exaggerated claims, is full of clichés, or fails to catch pointless self-characterizations | Essay doesn’t entirely rely on clichés or hyperbole to make its points, but it features enough of that sort of language to take away from the essay’s authenticity, or elements of it may be implausible | Essay is authentic – there are no clichés to speak of, all sentiments and reflections appear genuine; a reader comes away thinking the author is sincere | Every sentence is more than just plausible, but remarkably well-conceived and thoughtful; student demonstrates sharp aptitude for appropriately connecting their experiences with broader insights or issues |
Value System | Essay makes the student seem like they know everything, they’re self-centered, and/or they have no room to grow | Essay suggests that student believes they are very kind, generous, compassionate, etc., but undermines such “goodness” with a lack of humility | Essay exhibits noticeable selflessness, humility, perspective, and/or character traits broadly; at the very least, the student seems to recognize how much they don’t know by the end | Essay demonstrates a profound understanding of their personal growth, consistent and abiding humility, and a strong understanding of the value of relationships rather than personal gain |
Insight | Essay fails to illustrate insight into the experience discussed or takeaways from the experience | Essay details experiences common or uninteresting and insights, and takeaways are minimal or lackluster | Essay demonstrates clear, if not obvious, impressive takeaway from the experience | Essay demonstrates unusually deep insights into the described experience and clearly illustrates a profound takeaway |
Bonus points | +1 Essay successfully discusses a difficult topic (culture, politics, religion) tactfully and personally without using cliché | +2 Essay details a significant relationship between the author and another person or group, such that profound aspects of the author’s character are revealed and the author comes across as a developed and self-aware individual | +3 Essay successfully takes an extremely personal topic (e.g. from a student’s life) and communicates it without seeming disingenuous (i.e. does not beg for sympathy, overstate level of tragedy or victory; illustrates level-headed perspective) | +4 Essay illustrates extraordinary level of personal growth, wrapped in a compelling and unusual narrative that clearly demonstrates admission to the applicant’s school of choice |
TOTAL | 19 |
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“Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.”
Mischling meitschi: embracing a multicultural identity.
'Es isch es Meitschi!' My mother always tells the story of her first sight of me. Through an epidural-induced fog, she sees a purple ball held by a doctor screaming, "Es isch es Meitschi!", which translates to "It's a girl!". However, my Caribbean- American mother, having only been in Switzerland for a couple of years and not understanding all of the Swiss-German dialect, heard, "Mischling" - Half-caste - until my Swiss father clarified the correct translation. Now both, "Meitschi" and "Mischling" are accurate, but any form of German screaming is usually terrifying, understandably. As humans, we want to belong: To a piece of earth. To a group of people. To an idea. Every human being feels the need to belong to something. It is why we conform to social expectations and shun people who act outside the norm. When you stem from two different races, two different countries, two different ideas of who you're supposed to be, people tend to struggle with that dichotomy. Thus, my life of being asked, "What are you?" begins. The first time, I was fourteen years old and incredibly confused. Now, I can easily say that I see myself as both, whether it is black and white, American and Swiss, or whatever division I am placed in. I know that I do not act like I am a part of a hip hop music video, but that does not make me any less black. Similarly, I should not have to wear Lederhosen and yodel to prove I am Swiss. Yet, my predilection for multiple identities did not come without its challenges. My struggle with my identity always came from other people. Up until I was about ten years old, I saw myself as a petite Caucasian girl with light brown hair and blue eyes (for the record, that looks absolutely nothing like me). Growing up in Switzerland, a very racially homogeneous country, white was all I saw. Not just the snowy Alpine mountainsides, but also the families that were skiing down them. For most of my childhood, I was unconsciously ignorant of my racial and cultural disposition, even though I was consistently the only person of color in a room. It quickly became a novelty at school that I was fluent in two languages. The first time I remember acknowledging my "complex" racial makeup was when we were visiting family in Barbados, and my dad was the only white person around. Seven-year-old me went up to him and patted his arm: "It's okay, I understand." Now, I have observed being mixed, and multicultural gives me a unique comprehension of different cultural mindsets. It has made it very easy for me to assimilate and understand people's points of view. I'm not inclined to assume a person's identity based upon heritage and ethnicity alone. Making friends and connecting with people is something I've never struggled with. Because people can't immediately tell my heritage, they don't have any preconceptions of me and free themselves to ponder, "Is she one of us?": all to the point when at age five, traveling in Morocco, I would join the kids on the street playing games even though we had no way of communicating. They just assumed I was one of them. These experiences have made me more confident in myself. By never letting myself fall into a single group, I have gotten to know myself well. After hearing "What are you?" enough times, you naturally think about the answer a lot. Being equally both as neither with respect to my identity comes with its prizes and pitfalls, but losing that identity means I would lose what made me a "Mischling Meitschi" in the first place. The interpersonal connections I have made outweigh the several-minute-long explanations of where I'm from and the temporary confusion when asked to tick boxes on my race. Being who I genuinely am requires multiple boxes.
This is a strong personal statement for which I assigned two bonus points. These bonus points represent the student’s discussion of culture and identity in a sophisticated and unoffensive way, as well as the clever intro to the piece. I spoke about the intro to the side of the essay and how its complexities reflect the complexities of the student’s mixed identity. It’s a gripping start to the essay and makes us want to continue reading.
The student also tackles a culture issue in a way that is relatable to others of mixed background and readers on the outside. There is a familiarity of language and tone here that’s refreshing and welcoming. Small asides pull the reader further into the piece and make us invested.
Finally, the student takes abundant time setting the scene and their early life, and it’s well worth it. They provide the reader with adequate context for where they’re coming from, which allows us to be right alongside them on the journey. This is a great way to get your readers invested.
Essay Score
CRITERIA | SCORE |
---|---|
Writing quality | 4 |
Personal voice | 3 |
Level of Authenticity | 3 |
Value System | 3 |
Insight | 4 |
Bonus points | 2 |
TOTAL | 19 |
Unraveling Identities: A Journey of Self-Discovery
Opening my window shade, the sun’s rays begin to pierce through the cabin, and the earth below my seat begins to come into focus. With each passing minute, treetops canvassing the landscape and fluorescent road lines begin to peer through the blanketing clouds. As the scurry of gate preparations intensifies, chatter begins to penetrate the constant hum of the engines. With the cabin coming back to life, I stare at the wings as they cut through clouds and begin to wonder who everybody is. Since I was a child, I have been obsessed with finding the unique aspects of others’ backgrounds, never ceasing to ask questions and excitedly seek answers. I am always exploring beyond the surface of one’s story, because only in this way can the authentic aspect of identity be unlocked. But, in my quest to understand others, I often find myself revealing who I am. I am a Panamanian, American, Spaniard, and French boy from the rolling hills of New Hampshire. But, in the U.S., I am a Mexican; in Panama, a Gringo; in Spain, a mestizo; and in France, a Spaniard. No matter where I am, I am instantly forced into a categorical label, whether or not it is true. The prejudices that influence thought often prevent the unfettered interaction that allows for personal disclosure. On a plane, the narrow aisles and occasional turbulence serve as a refuge from thwarting preconceptions below. Continuing the deceleration, the plane emerges past the final layer of clouds. My eyes lock onto the beauty of the expansive city. A gentle voice to my side says, “Impressive, isn’t it?” Ending up seated in the depths of the plane’s final rows, separated from the rest of my family, I was between a talkative Dutch man to my right and a movie-connoisseur Italian to my left. Though the journey began in awkward silence, we quickly found conversation in the ongoing World Cup. The discussion jumped from player statistics, to free-spirited Dutch culture, to the advantages of Neapolitan pizza, eventually ending on the beauty of the coming landscape. But, they are more than just Dutch or Italian. Hein is a compassionate, bike-riding, lover of medium roast, last of seven siblings, inhabitant of Amsterdam. Antonio is a creative, plant-photographing, Techno-music enthusiast, mathematics-majoring native of Rome. A street-level interaction, a quick glance, would only reveal two white men, one blonde the other black-haired, and I, a dark-skinned boy sporting colorful sneakers. And I am also more than what my outward appearance displays. Growing up in a multicultural family has made coming to terms with my true identity a process of self-discovery. From my Panamanian heritage, I inherited a steadfast personality that finds value in sacrifice and hard work. My Spanish background teaches me to take life one day at a time, always stopping to enjoy the company of others. My French ancestry instills in me the importance of quality in whatever endeavor I undertake. So, when asked where I’m from, I share beyond the surface; I am an amalgamation of different cultures and ideas. Being of international roots, I am intrigued by people’s backgrounds beyond the outward portrayals, always seeking to unravel their true selves. Traveling, in its purest form, is my opportunity to discover the stories of my fellow passengers, and for them to do the same with me; it’s a chance to engage with others and explore different perspectives on life. Similarly, the cramped seats of a plane serve as are introspective lens in which I am the viewer and the subject. As the freshly-paved tarmac whittles the rubber from the plane’s tires, and the violent landing vibrations shake the luggage overhead, I see myself, a hockey-playing, Chipotle-loving, free-thinking idealist, among two hundred constantly-altering narratives. As the plane reaches the gate, I begin to say goodbye to my newfound friends, eagerly awaiting my next transcendent experience from the world at ground level.
This is an extremely thoughtful and well-crafted essay. The author takes a more unconventional approach to the Common App essay, reflecting on his identity as a whole rather than describing one specific event or challenge they experienced. This type of essay is more difficult to get right, but, when done well like it is here, is one that stands out and lets the author’s insight and intellect shine.
The author begins the essay with a beautifully written description of a plane ride. This is a common way to start a Common App essay, using an anecdote to hook the reader, but the author does it well, artfully describing what they are seeing while also maintaining an element of mystery. It’s not immediately obvious where the author is, which makes the reader want to find out. The author never explicitly says that they are on a plane in these opening paragraphs, but the imagery they’ve crafted makes it clear. This scene, though not the primary subject, will ground the essay and create a framework for the author to explore its main themes. This is also where the 2 bonus points come from, as the author takes something mundane, a plane ride, and crafts a surprisingly thoughtful and profound reflection.
So, what are the essay’s main themes? In the third paragraph, the author explains their interest in “exploring beyond the surface of one’s story” to unlock “the authentic aspect of identity.” Investigating the nature of identity may seem like an overly intellectual topic for a Common App essay, but the author makes it personal by discussing their own experiences of being stereotyped based on appearance. This essay is about the author and his diverse, complex identity.
The conversation the author describes serves as an example of the author’s thesis, that people are more than their appearances. Though the author initially defines the two men in simple terms, like others have judged him, he soon gets a more complete understanding of who these men are, listing detailed and specific characteristics. The author then does the same for the reader, giving them deeper insight into his own identity and upbringing.
The author makes a smart decision in the final two paragraphs, shifting the focus from himself to his relationships with others. Instead of expressing a desire for others to understand him, which would seem self-centered, the author wants to gain a deeper understanding of other people and their perspectives, highlighting his empathy and desire to learn/grow. By expressing an interest in learning about other people in the future, the author subtly alludes to his future college experience, where he will meet a diverse variety of people.
CRITERIA | SCORE |
---|---|
Writing quality | 4 |
Personal voice | 4 |
Level of Authenticity | 4 |
Value System | 3 |
Insight | 4 |
Bonus points | 2 |
TOTAL | 21 |
“The lessons we take from obstacles we encounter can be fundamental to later success. Recount a time when you faced a challenge, setback, or failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience?”
Breaking barriers: finding connection through water.
As I threw open the pool's thick metal doors, the pungent aroma of chlorine swaddled me like a wet blanket around a shivering newborn. The scent was pervasive during my year-long stint on the swimming and diving team, when the fame I'd imagined for myself as a freshman remained just out of reach. As I stepped along the slimy pool deck, I brought my focus back to the reason I had revived my failed athletic career. [Name redacted] and I met through my school's Best Buddies Club, which connects students with and without developmental disabilities. The students' excitement as they jumped up to greet me every morning drew me into a community that made their own happiness in a world that often met them with judgment. But while limited mobility and reliance on a communication device made conversation challenging, these were small setbacks compared to the fact that he seemed to want nothing to do with me. We made bracelets, holiday cards, paper mache flowers, and decorated cookies, but these encounters lasted mere minutes before he'd gesture for his aide to retrieve him. I had nearly given up on our friendship when a teacher suggested we participate in a scuba dive organized for our school's students with disabilities. At first, all I could imagine were the new ways in which would be able to ignore me in another location - the pool. Growing up less than a mile from Lake Michigan, I've always been attracted to the water. The first time I swam, pushing the soft water back and forth between my hands and feeling self-assurance I never experienced on land, I felt I'd touched freedom. I was liberated from being the only gay kid in a small elementary school, from constantly being made to fit into a mold when it came to my sexuality and beliefs. Everywhere I ventured, my peers insisted they knew aspects of me I hadn't explored myself. Their constant questioning of my identity - commenting on my favorite floral sweatshirt as I walked down the hallway and describing my love for classical music as "feminine" - occupied an enormous space in my brain at a time when I should have been finding answers for myself. Those brief moments of underwater clarity helped me retreat from all the boxes the world set out for me, washing away everyone's expectations like a tide smoothing out the sand when it crashes onto the beach. Every time I left the water, I felt a piece of my identity had solidified. So perhaps I shouldn't have been surprised by what experienced in his first swim. As his aide and I unstrapped him from the wheelchair where he spent the majority of his days, bits of food and old pieces of paper from past art projects fell to the ground. Terror filled eyes as the security of his chair was stripped away, but the warm embrace of the water flowing around his limbs immediately calmed him as we gently lowered him into the pool. For a brief moment, his eyes locked onto mine and we shared our excitement. Though it was fleeting, our glance taught me an invaluable lesson. Until that point, I hadn't tried to connect with on anything but a superficial level. Our art projects were motivated by sincerity, but they offered no channel for and I to share something we mutually loved. Letting his fingers glide along the water's surface, I helped him float for the next thirty minutes in an uninterrupted state of bliss that can only be experienced by someone who has been confined for so long - a feeling I was able to understand. By sharing something that helped me come to terms with my identity, I was able to connect with him on a deeper level, one where we both felt free.
This is a good example of a personal, well-written essay. The author takes a fine topic, working with a disabled student, and makes it even more meaningful by connecting it to their own personal experiences. Not only does the essay show the author’s selflessness, but it also gives the reader insight into their identity and past struggles.
One of the strongest aspects of this essay is the author’s use of language. Whether describing the pool, the sensation of swimming, or the student’s descent into the water, the reader can fully understand the author’s experiences. Each paragraph has specific details or examples, like the different Best Buddies Club activities or ways the author was bullied, that make the essay personal and unique to the author. The author shows the reader what they have experienced, rather than telling them.
The author has structured their essay well, beginning with a scene that sets up the essay’s purpose--to explain what inspired his return to swimming. This opening paragraph also establishes the author’s experience with swimming, which is crucial to understanding the rest of the essay. Then, the author begins the essay’s narrative, introducing the Best Buddies Club and the essay’s conflict--his inability to connect with the student.
What really makes this essay, and gives it the 3 bonus points, is the fourth paragraph, in which the author discusses his own relationship with swimming. Though the author starts by describing how swimming made them feel, they seamlessly transition to explaining swimming’s importance and reflecting on the challenges they faced growing up queer. By doing this, the author both makes the essay more personal, revealing how this experience is more than just sharing a hobby with the student, and gives the reader a much more intimate understanding of who they are and have overcome, without interrupting the narrative flow. The author does not overstate or exaggerate the challenges they went through, but describes it in a straightforward and honest way.
The author closes the essay by reflecting on what they have gained from this experience. By looking to his own experiences, the author was able to connect and empathize with the student, and help them break free of the constraints of their disability. What could have improved this already strong essay would have been a deeper and more introspective analysis of what the author learned from this experience. Rather than just focusing on how they helped the student, which could appear a bit self-centered, the author could have described how this experience has helped them grow or become a better person. This would have been the perfect opportunity to return to the opening paragraph, and discuss his return to swimming.
CRITERIA | SCORE |
---|---|
Writing quality | 4 |
Personal voice | 4 |
Level of Authenticity | 4 |
Value System | 3 |
Insight | 3 |
Bonus points | 3 |
TOTAL | 21 |
Building Lessons: The Journey of Assembling My IKEA Shelf
Sam Gosling said in Snoop that your room is a reflection of the inside of your mind. Every chaotic piece of paper cluttering your living space represents an idea created inside that lump of grey matter. However, sometimes each of those neurons pile up and need to be organised. And so, as I walked past my Yamaha upright with sporadic piles of music and the dusty mounds of 1900s CDs, I realised: "I really need a shelf." Just like any other creative with a penchant for mispronouncing Swedish, I went to IKEA and found a beautiful, white, open-backed cabinet that resonated with my desire for sophisticated simplicity. The trouble started when the box arrived home. Late at night, I started hacking it open with a knife and scratched the unblemished white surface of my cabinet. A well-worn truism reverberated between my ears: Precision was key. "Lesson learned," I thought. "But no one cares about a single scratch." I tried to rationalise my mistake; my decision grated against my perfectionism, but at least the scratch reminded me to approach even menial tasks with care. Then I embarked on the task, spurred by the tantalising satisfaction of building it without instructions (I have a tendency to add unnecessary challenges to see just how far I can push myself). Ten minutes later, I was in the hall balancing the cabinet between the wall and my knee. The shelves were in, and now all I needed was the top, a humble piece of flat timber. And the struts that hold it together. And the plethora of screws littered around me; surely they were spares. Just as I slotted the crowning piece onto my slightly lopsided shelf, the "Leaning Tower of Pisa" finally collapsed. The screws I had put in bent. I guess I would be needing those spares. The little wooden bits meant to keep the shelf stable snapped, and the middle panel had a hole ripped through its centre, as if Australia's very own Wolverine had ripped his claws up the side of my shelf. At first, I felt anger at my ineptitude, then despair and denial. Every stage of grief towards the magnificent project I thought I had completed flashed through my brain. My frustration had peaked. The collapsed shelves had defeated me, but the niggling voice at the back of my mind, which guides all my movements, said: "Hey, you could have done this better. You have to try again." The next day, after a meditative break, I was back, more determined and clear minded than ever. I embarked once again on the construction, without the instructions, but with the shelf lying horizontally on the floor. My determination to challenge myself had not yet swayed. By the end of the hour, I had a working shelf, that didn't look like the diagram but was able to support books. I needed to try again. I started again with the instructions and built a working, sturdy shelf that looked as though it could be printed in the IKEA catalogue- so long as they photoshop out the extra scratches. "Well, what's the moral? She used the instructions." Yes, I did use the instructions. Yes, I did have to remake the shelf three times. But every single mistake in those three attempts was a lesson I can use in the future. In every moment, I gained a greater understanding of the way parts fit together. Every time I looked at the instructions I realised I didn't need to carve my own path single-handedly; instead there was a lot of merit from building the work of those before me and taking their ideas to grow even more. And, at the very worst, at the end of it all, at least the chaotic pieces of paper were no longer on the floor.
This piece is quite unique. You see a lot of essays about profound trips to foreign countries or significant confessions in relationships, and the reason you see those topics a lot is because they make for great personal statements. What this student did here, though, was go against the grain and write about a seemingly boring topic with wit, sophistication, self- and reader-awareness, and humor. The use of monologue in this piece, and the seemingly profound introduction, both function beautifully here. The former adds to the colloquial nature of the essay, and the latter gives the rest of the piece room to subvert the expectation of where an essay with that introduction would likely go. This essay keeps you on your toes with its unexpected charm.
One of the best qualities of this essay is how content dictates form. By this, I mean that the step-by-step process of building a desk is also reflected in the step-by-step emotional journey we take with the student as they decide to purchase, assemble, fail, assemble again, fail again, and finally read the directions. You could almost imagine this scene playing out in a sitcom (I clearly imagined Zooey Deschanel in New Girl ) with the self-aware backtalk and subtle self-deprecation.
To be clear, if you have a profound story you want to tell of a life-changing experience that you wish to share, you should absolutely do that. You should write about what interests you and the story you want to tell! However, if you find yourself struck more by the style of this piece, don’t feel like you need to be bound to typical sophistication and significance. Have fun writing about an IKEA shelf!
What I wrote about for my Common App Essay
“Reflect on a time when you questioned or challenged a belief or idea. What prompted your thinking? What was the outcome?”
The value of uncertainty: a journey from atheism to inquiry.
My parents are what you might call aggressive atheists. They’re not aggressive people, but when it comes to atheism, they’re no-holds-barred, pull-no-punches crusaders. No child of theirs was going to believe in a man in the sky- I was positioned towards disbelief from a very young age. This made it difficult for me to understand why I was sent to a school that featured weekly Religious Education lessons. My parents joke now that they simply wanted longer conversations to ensue when they asked me how my day was, but I suspect there was more to it. Their decision to give me a choice — or, at least, to show me the options — is something I’ve only recently begun to fully appreciate. At the time, though, it felt like a serious hassle. During these sessions, my classmates and I huddled cross- legged on the floor as our chaplain tried to make the concept of the Holy Trinity seem fun and relatable rather than intimidating. None of it made sense to me, yet I remember occasionally thinking that the story was so peculiar, so specific, that perhaps it may actually have been true. Most Tuesdays, though, I would come home and complain to my parents about the absurdity of the lesson. One afternoon, I opened the front door to find my grandfather, Morfar, sitting at the dining-room table, eating and chatting with my parents. Slinging my bag into my room, I raced to join them. Morfar, a retired headmaster, was always ready to outwit me with tangles of logic puzzles and math problems, the sparkle in his eyes growing brighter as I grew more frustrated. I began to babble enthusiastically, eager to show off my superior understanding of Christianity’s flaws. But as I prattled on, Morfar’s usual interjections were not there; instead, he simply gazed at me. After about a minute, he furrowed his eyebrows, and my heart skipped a beat. My words abruptly dried up into silence. It had never occurred to me that my grandfather, a man for whom I had the utmost respect, might be religious. Morfar, adjusting his glasses, broke the silence. He asked me to fetch my new cricket ball. I obeyed without question, mortified, terrified, and excited. I returned to the table and put the ball into his hand. He looked at it for a moment and said, “Jasper, what would happen to the ball if I took it home right now?” I paused, scanning for tricks. “I guess there’d be an extra ball at your house…” He leaned forward. “But now the ball isn’t where it’s supposed to be! Why is that?” “Because you took it…” I said, unsure of myself. He darted another question at me. “Jasper, why is the Earth where it is, so perfectly placed to allow us to live? A reason, a cause and effect for its position, the way there is for everything else?” The mystery of it intrigues and beguiles me to this day. It reminds me never to be too sure of myself and never to underestimate the value of uncertainty in forcing inquiry and serious thought. Since that day, I had many more debates with Morfar and my parents about religion, sometimes broaching topics as far-reaching as artificial intelligence and the nature of consciousness itself. Christianity has acted as a springboard for me to launch myself into new ways of critical thinking and new avenues of philosophy - something I value equally as highly as the peace and security it brings to others. While I cannot share my grandfather’s confidence, the freedom to converse and wonder together — the ability to question — brought us closer and became part of my foundation as an inquisitive, open, and often skeptical person. I understand now what people see in religion and God: a plan, a reason, an answer. I haven’t found mine yet, but I treasure the search.
This essay is packed with playful adjectives, active verbs, and flourishes of personality that make it come alive. At its core is a pretty serious investigation of religious beliefs, but the writer’s active style really portrays levity, openness, and curiosity--precisely the qualities that the speaker’s parents hoped to instill in them by encouraging open religious dialogue.
Despite describing their parents and grandfather as strong personalities, the writer is not entirely beholden to either’s set of beliefs. This impressive combination of openness and self-resolve emerges naturally from both the speaker’s chosen anecdotes and also from their voice itself. Both qualities are certainly things that admissions officers look for in successful applicants!
CRITERIA | SCORE |
---|---|
Writing quality | 5 |
Personal voice | 4 |
Level of Authenticity | 5 |
Value System | 5 |
Insight | 4 |
Bonus points | 0 |
TOTAL | 23 |
Challenging Tradition: Paving the Way for Gender Equality in an All-Boys School
Oh, are you sure this is what you want to do? There are plenty of other great project ideas you could work on." As I left my design teacher's office having presented a concept for a female-only cycling race, I was both disappointed and confused. I envisioned an opportunity to bring classmates together from my all-boys school to commemorate the steps society had taken to increase gender equality by creating a race in a traditionally male-dominatedsport. As I approached the deadline for submitting the project proposal for my Year 11 design portfolio, I was left without assurance but even more determination to press forward. The next day, I returned, determined to convince my teacher. Yet again, I was met with his pursed lips and furled forehead. Although I couldn't understand his hesitancy, with deadlines approaching I decided to stick with my original idea and start working away at it. Just a few days later during a lunch break, I found myself holding back, as my friends tossed around objectifying comments about a girl they had seen earlier that day on the street. Looking back at that moment, I realized how immune I had become to the sexism that permeated my school . If even I was not willing to stand against it, I realized that, in the eyes of my teacher, my idea of celebrating women had no place at my school. What did female empowerment and success have to do within an al/ boys school? As I began to realize that my idea didn't "represent" the school or its values of taking boys and turning them into strong men, my teacher"s rejection began to take shape in my mind. The idea that female success and spirit could be celebrated amongst and by a school populated entirely by boys didn't have a place in "a school that understands boys" - our motto. This simply wasn't part of the culture we had been taught to uphold. So ingrained in the schools tradition that to challenge this identity with something as small as a portfolio project was to stand against a belief that the school had forever embraced. I realized, my school had become so caught up in respecting a history of male-dominated teaching, an exclusively-male learning environment, for ultimately a male-dominated society, that we had put aside our ability to achieve a world of equal opportunity for all. Nevertheles,sI loved my school and didn't want its inability to grapple with change impede its future success. Recalling my portfolio idea, I realized I had an opportunity to create the change I sought; a culture, embracing every person, regardless of gender. I met with fellow school leaders and in making them aware of the lunch break topic I had witnessed, I asked them all to think about what if that objectified girl was their sister or a loved one. The boys fell quiet and it was then, collectively we decided that a change had to occur. Together, we mobilized to develop a legacy project for the school. We pursued active change to create an atmosphere of cohesion and collective respect for all men and women. Speeches, guest speakers and group discussions were held to ensure that every boy not only understood the message we were trying to elucidate, but also realized the nature of the culture we had come to accept. And progressively, we saw change. Sexist comments became more scarce and boys began to realize the derogatory nature of their prior speech. Change is uncomfortable; change is slow - and the mental shift I catalyzed may not be embraced for generations to come. But it is ever more my hope that after having started the change, future leaders and teachers will choose to embrace it.
This essay is so impressive because of the author’s willingness to examine and critique their own assumptions and behaviors. Admissions readers love to learn about students that are willing to question and push their understanding of what is right--this author really communicates that adaptability by taking us through their journey of promoting female empowerment within an all-male context.
At first, the speaker seems to want to draw our attention to their persistence --their idea for an all-female cycling race is questioned, but the speaker has a ‘determination to press forward’. It quickly becomes clear, though, that this determination is not the quality that the speaker is highlighting in this essay--instead it is their adaptability and their willingness to revise their beliefs and assumptions. By the all-italics question at the end of the fifth paragraph, we are starting to see the author’s impressive level of self-inquiry.
By shelving their idea for a race and instead promoting gender-equitable actions that are more needed in their community, the author shows the maturity, self-awareness, and willingness to change that admissions readers love to see.
CRITERIA | SCORE |
---|---|
Writing quality | 5 |
Personal voice | 4 |
Level of Authenticity | 4 |
Value System | 4 |
Insight | 4 |
Bonus points | 0 |
TOTAL | 211 |
“Discuss an accomplishment, event, or realization that sparked a period of personal growth and a new understanding of yourself or others.”
Empowering through code: my journey in teaching and growth.
It's December 2018. I have a calculus midterm in a week, but as I walk into the library, I am not here to study. I descend to the familiar small, dimly-lit room in the basement. I rearrange tables, set up the projector, and distribute laptops. I anxiously rummage through my notes as I wait for the girls to trickle into the room. The first girl enters, clinging to her mom. Then other girls arrive, likewise, hiding behind their mothers, as I try to encourage mingling amongst the group. I attempt to conceal my anxiousness with a facade of hyper-enthusiasm. I move towards the podium, and while I have often taken my place in front of it, today I stand behind it, muster my brightest smile and begin to teach my first computer science class. Coding is the metaphysical barrier between the outside world and virtual world. On my own, coding allows me to be in my "bubble." Using the same loops and conditionals I teach about, I am able to transcend one world and enter another. Yet when I give myself the task of presenting these same coding principles to the young girls before me, my bubble collapses, and I exit my comfort zone. Nevertheless, I feel compelled to teach coding classes to as many girls as I can reach to instill in them the confidence that coding can generate within oneself, and the subsequent empowerment that can draw more young women into technology. My desire to host coding classes has been brewing for years. It is a perfect medley of my quest for opportunities to serve my community and my passion for computer science. My emphasis on specifically teaching girls stems from a recognition of the lack of girls participating in tech-related endeavors. In High School, I have taken computer science classes with three or fewer girls, and in robotics, I have entered competitions flooded with all-boys teams while struggling to find all-girls teams other than my own. As my team advances from our hometown competitions to regional competitions, to World Championships with 40,000 attendees, I am perplexed as girls in robotics are only speckled through the sea of boys competing. This lack of representation fuels my fire to host more workshops and have an impact upon younger girls so they will see themselves participating within future teams. At times, I have felt the need to prove my worth to others, as if being a girl implies inferiority. Through robotics, I have not only learned how to approach real-world problems with innovative engineering solutions, but also to be an advocate for myself and others. For me, I refuse to be complicit in perpetuating the gender stereotype that I have endured. I know that not every girl will want to join robotics, or even continue to learn computer science, and that's okay. At the very least, I want to emphasize that despite any barrier, coding is something they can do; if my all-girls team can compete our way to World Championships, they can accomplish whatever they choose to pursue. It's June 2019. I have become familiar with the basements of many libraries across Long Island, and today is my latest stop. I descend to a modestly sized room with fluorescent lighting. I iterate through my routine: introduce the coding concept of that day's lesson, run through the curriculum I have meticulously prepared down to each minute, field any questions, provide guidance, and talk to each girl. At the end of the class, when a mother and her daughter excitedly approach me to say that they have registered for robotics, the hyper-enthusiasm I consistently exude is no longer a facade. My message has reached at least one girl, encouraging me to reach the rest. With dozens of girls taught thus far, and more workshop planning underway, I am confident that my efforts have only just begun.
This essay, about the author’s coding education program, is an insightful look into the author’s interests and values. Not only does the essay show how the author has grown as a result of teaching coding, but it demonstrates the author’s passion for empowering young girls in technology, a timely social issue. The author strikes the rare balance of highlighting and celebrating her accomplishments without seeming self-centered or disingenuous.
The author effectively structures the essay, beginning with their description of her first coding class. While working to grab the reader’s attention, the first paragraph also creates a useful framework to show her personal growth--the final paragraph uses the same structure, allowing the reader to easily draw comparisons and see how much their program and teaching abilities have grown. This structural symmetry makes the essay cohesive and balanced.
While the first and last paragraphs work to illustrate the author’s growth, the middle paragraphs provide the reader with insight into the author’s motivations and values. In these paragraphs, the author is able to reflect on her own experiences with coding, first describing why she enjoys coding and how she decided to begin teaching. She describes her own past experiences in robotics and the lack of girls’ participation in competitions, to show the reader where her passion for women’s representation in technology comes from. The author could have strengthened their insight here by providing a more detailed description of her experiences in robotics, and how she was stereotyped or marginalized.
The fourth paragraph is arguably the essay’s strongest, as the author’s personal voice is clear and compelling. She explains how being a minority in robotics has made her feel inferior at times, and as though she needs to prove herself. Though she has learned to advocate for herself, she does not want other girls to feel as she did. The author decides to take action and address the problem by providing girls the opportunity to learn to code. Unlike other essays that point to a vague sense of wanting to help others, this author is driven by a clear, personal mission to empower girls in her service work.
The final thing to note is the essay’s conclusion. While the author has realized their goal of teaching and inspiring girls to pursue robotics, they are not satisfied or feel their work is complete. This is an example of their strong value system, as the author wants to continue to help as many girls as possible.
CRITERIA | SCORE |
---|---|
Writing quality | 4 |
Personal voice | 4 |
Level of Authenticity | 4 |
Value System | 4 |
Insight | 3 |
Bonus points | 0 |
TOTAL | 19 |
Mastering Time: Lessons from an Apple Tree and My Uncle's Legacy
Last summer, on a rare sunny day in Dunedin, New Zealand, I sat underneath the apple tree in my garden and pondered time. As I looked around, my eyes followed the dandelions drifting back and forth, up and down, while the distracting buzz of bees flying provided a low cacophony of sound in the background. At this moment, everything seemed so tangible, so graspable to me. Space all around me had character – each floating dandelion just a fingertip away. I wondered if there was a way to touch the fourth dimension I’d learnt from my physics class – a dimension that permeates our very existence. What if we could change time like we do space? What if we could reverse or expand time, as if it were the blossoming sunflowers unfolding a few feet from where I was sitting? Jordan could be hitting his Game 6 shot in Salt Lake City at that very moment, or I could be watching Liu hurdle past the competition in the bright lights of Athens. I could even have endless admissions officers read this essay, after I’d taken all the time in the world to make it a masterpiece worthy of Shakespeare. With time on my hands, the world would be my oyster. Then, I heard my mother’s voice calling and the smell of freshly cooked rice wafted through the garden, breaking my pleasant fantasy. Time, at that moment felt so constricting, as its passage returned to the rhythmic progression of meals. How ironic that while I was thinking about times’ wonders, this afternoon was time I will never get back. Time, in all its unlimited wonders, is used up as we continue our journey through life. In the space of a week, my future time radically shifted. My mother received news that my uncle, who I had looked up to all my life both literally and metaphorically, was gone. I had expected my life to change exponentially. But time kept ticking along the same way it always had, nudging me through the familiar sounds of a basketball clanking off the rim each day, sore forearms from volleyballs thumped, and the daily routine of homework and exams. Yet, throughout all of this, my uncle’s optimistic outlook on life - holding close the people who cared and things that mattered, letting go of unprecedented worry or unnecessary negativity, remained vividly embedded in me. His smile while talking to me, even as his business prospects were looking bleak, will stay with me forever. Time, in all its infinite glory, is a finite arbitrary construct, compartmentalised by society into quantifiable sections. Unequivocally appreciating the “compartments” that I have left, just as my uncle did with his life, is my way of claiming back time with him. Looking back, hyper focusing on a moment meant I often missed the true splendour of the bigger picture. Events such as re-biking the New Zealand Rail Trail senior year after being scarred, both figuratively and literally, from crashing severely in middle school, made me realise how much I truly missed, simply by taking a glass half empty view. Living in a quaint southern Kiwi city also meant things were often uneventful. Before when the weather would pass through four seasons in a day I’d often find it annoying, going from bright blue skies, to pouring hail, to briefly vivid rainbows, to gusts of wind through the night. By focusing on the positive, I began to appreciate what a wacky and peculiar sight this was – nowhere else would I get to live these moments. Constantly reconsidering and reframing previously ignored or unpleasant experiences is part of the legacy my uncle left me. As Shakespeare wrote, “let every man be master of his time.” With time, I know that each and every day is something of wonder, something of appreciation, something meaningful and over which my approach can irrevocably shape my perceptions.
This essay is an excellent example of how being specific and detailed – showing and not telling – can be especially effective.
The writer of this piece has very good instincts. Not only does he show his thought process, but he uses specific details in order to both balance the writing and translate his perceptions into accessible but original descriptions.
An author chooses to show and not tell to both evoke emotion and relay to the reader an experience that is important to the narrative.
An example of using this method is in the second to last paragraph, in which the narrator describes his specific observations:
“Before when the weather would pass through four seasons in a day I’d often find it annoying, going from bright blue skies, to pouring hail, to briefly vivid rainbows, to gusts of wind through the night. By focusing on the positive, I began to appreciate what a wacky and peculiar sight this was – nowhere else would I get to live these moments.”
Instead of simply telling the reader that he began to appreciate things in a way he had not before, he shows us through the details – using all five senses – so that we are guided through the prose and feel what the writer is asking us to. If he simply told us that he began to experience his surroundings differently than he had before, we would not be able to see the experience through his eyes, and we wouldn’t know the weight that the moment carried, or understand how he – specifically – processed these new ideas.
CRITERIA | SCORE |
---|---|
Writing quality | 4 |
Personal voice | 4 |
Level of Authenticity | 4 |
Value System | 4 |
Insight | 4 |
Bonus points | 0 |
TOTAL | 20 |
“Describe a topic, idea, or concept you find so engaging that it makes you lose all track of time. Why does it captivate you? What or who do you turn to when you want to learn more?”
The journey of the rubik's cube: embracing the process of problem-solving.
The moment I laid eyes on the cube, it was as if nothing else mattered. I remember my uncle explaining something about top row corners, but I was already turning the Rubik's cube in my hands around, wondering how its variegated faces could be aligned to create uniform color blocks. Every night for the next week, I would just spin the cube around, hoping that a solution would pop into my head. I started by attempting to align three cubes of one color - but the more I twisted the faces around, the more the colors seemed to scramble. I even tried randomly flicking the rows and columns back and forth, hoping to stumble upon a pattern, but nothing came to mind. I begged my classmates to solve the cube hoping to memorize their tactics, and spent my breaks watching other people solve cubes online, transfixed by the many versions of this puzzle I found. This was to no avail, as the cube remained unsolved. But it wasn't until I realized that I needed to figure out a strategy that worked for me and focus on one face at a time, rather than everything all at once, that I began to make some progress on the cube. By the end of the month, I was able to align 7 out of 9 cubes on one face. I had taught myself a new technique, and while it had not led to a complete success, it was a breakthrough all the same. It's been nine years since the day I was gifted the Rubik's cube, and I still have not been able to solve it. I suspect I never will. But I always come back to this problem not because of a relentless desire to solve or prove anything, but because I love the process of problem-solving. There is something special about being in a situation where I am not expected to immediately find a solution, and have time to examine a task from different angles and attempt to complete it in a multitude of ways. It is not the need to reach the final solution that drives me, but rather the knowledge that every bit of progress I make gives me a better understanding of the puzzle and contributes to my learning. When I approach daunting tasks, I ground myself by breaking down the problem and trying different approaches. Getting stuck is not a failure - rather, it is an opportunity to retrace my steps and figure out what went wrong. Success is not defined by how many problems I am able to solve, or how good I am at things, but rather how resilient I am and how willing I am to learn. There is a sense of contentment that accompanies the wonder I feel whenever I open up the educational digital program I have been working on for the past year. There is wonder in my uncertainty about how things are going to turn out, the fact that I don't know if I will achieve the ideal result this time - if today will finally be the day I crack the code. I have tried many programming languages and platforms to recreate the designs and prototypes I have created, although I have not yet been successful in my attempts. But before when I would have shied away from the uncertainty of my success, I now embrace it. I still find myself fiddling with my Rubik's cube during my free time because there is something to be said by finding those silver linings, those invaluable lessons in my relentless attempts to figure it out. Every so often I find delight in a breakthrough I've made, a technique I've finally learned or a piece that slotted in exactly where it needed to be. These small victories are meaningless in the larger scope of the world, but to me, they mean everything.
This is a fantastic example of an essay that draws importance and sincerity out of a commonplace experience. Many kids play with Rubik’s Cubes--the author is also not a world-record-breaking cube solver. But they use the Cube to do some serious self-analysis--in examining why they are attached to the puzzle, what they like about it, and how they went about approaching solutions, the author shows how they exhibit persistence, adaptability, and rigor in pursuing their interests.
The sentence, “Success is not defined by how many problems I am able to solve, or how good I am at things, but rather how resilient I am and how willing I am to learn” represents the essay’s most significant observation. In equating success with resiliency instead of achievement , the speaker shows great maturity. In college, students are challenged--they will also see students around them achieving in a variety of ways. Pursuing and embodying resiliency instead of chasing achievement at all costs makes for a healthy student experience full of learning!
CRITERIA | SCORE |
---|---|
Writing quality | 4 |
Personal voice | 4 |
Level of Authenticity | 5 |
Value System | 5 |
Insight | 4 |
Bonus points | 0 |
TOTAL | 22 |
More Examples?
To see even more examples, download our free ebook, the US Personal Essay Master Guide , which features 50 examples of Common App essays of students admitted into top universities! Additionally, check out our database of successful Common App Applications to read essays for each individual school!
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Blog > Common App , Essay Examples , Personal Statement > 12 Common App Essay Examples (Graded by Former Admissions Officers)
12 Common App Essay Examples (Graded by Former Admissions Officers)
Admissions officer reviewed by Ben Bousquet, M.Ed Former Vanderbilt University
Written by Alex McNeil, MA Admissions Consultant
Key Takeaway
If you’re applying to college, chances are you’re using the Common Application. And if you’re using the Common Application, then you’re definitely writing a Common Application essay.
But how do you write a Common App essay? More specifically, how do you write a good one that stands out to admissions officers? And hey—what does a good Common App essay even look like?
We’ve compiled some of our favorite college essays for you to read. Even better, our team of former admissions officers has commented on and graded every single essay to guide you through what works (and doesn’t).
Let’s start by looking at an example to get a feel for what you're going for.
Example #1: My Shape
This essay example comes from the Essay Academy , our digital college essay course. It has a really unique structure and uses shapes as a metaphor. It's also written in response to Common App Prompt #2.
It may seem counterintuitive, but college essays aren’t about showing only showing successes. There’s also room for showing growth. Of course, you want your Common App essay to ultimately communicate a strength about you, but it’s okay to show vulnerability and humility—just like this student does. At the beginning of the essay, we see them start to struggle: their strategy breaks down, and they detail a period of their life when they struggled to keep up.
But by the end of the essay, our writer has found their way. They’ve found new strategies and are more sure of who they are now—a gateway. The writer doesn’t dwell on their struggles. They use the struggles to show growth, adaptability, and strength.
(Want to see more video examples and get personalized application and essay advice? Let’s work together. )
With that example in mind, let's take a look at the Common App prompts, and then we'll get into even more examples.
The 2023-2024 Common Application Essay Prompts
First, we should start out by looking at the Common Application essay prompts. Sometimes the prompts change slightly from year to year, but they tend to remain fairly similar.
The Common App essay prompts are just that. Prompts. They prompt you to write an essay by giving you a place to start. They ask questions to help you reflect on important moments in your life. You only have to choose one prompt to answer.
Here they are, listed in the order provided by the Common App:
- Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.
- The lessons we take from obstacles we encounter can be fundamental to later success. Recount a time when you faced a challenge, setback, or failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience?
- Reflect on a time when you questioned or challenged a belief or idea. What prompted your thinking? What was the outcome?
- Reflect on something that someone has done for you that has made you happy or thankful in a surprising way. How has this gratitude affected or motivated you?
- Discuss an accomplishment, event, or realization that sparked a period of personal growth and a new understanding of yourself or others.
- Describe a topic, idea, or concept you find so engaging that it makes you lose all track of time. Why does it captivate you? What or who do you turn to when you want to learn more?
- Share an essay on any topic of your choice. It can be one you've already written, one that responds to a different prompt, or one of your own design.
The prompts cover a range of topics that’s broad enough to let you write about just about anything.
But let us let you in on a little secret: how you answer the Common Application prompt matters less than the quality of the essay you write. After all, you can always choose the open-ended Prompt #7 option.
So our advice is to start with the essay and then choose a prompt to fit. Identifying a topic that resonates with you, regardless of the prompt, will produce the best essay possible. (And if you need some guidance about how to choose a Common App essay topic, check out our college essay writing guide .)
3 Tips for Writing Your Common Application Essay
Overall, your Common App essay should be the centerpiece of your college application. It should work to tie together your cohesive application narrative , and it should give admissions officers a genuine sense of who you are. Let's take a look at a few specific tips for writing a good Common App essay.
Write about a meaningful topic.
Think about the purpose of a Common App essay. It’s really your one chance to communicate directly with your admissions officers. Sure, your application has all your grades and classes and activities, but none of those things is actually you. The Common App essay exists so you can tell admissions officers information they can’t find anywhere else in your application. Think of it like a poetic introduction to who you are. Because you only have 650 words to make your impression, your essay should get straight to it. Choose a topic that reflects something deeply meaningful to who you are.
Write about a strength.
If your Common App essay is like an introduction, then you also want to make a good impression. That means that your essay should communicate one of your core strengths . Maybe you're the most compassionate person in the world. Maybe you’re so inventive that you can make anything out of a paperclip and a rock. Or maybe you’re so wise that everyone comes to you for advice. Whatever strength makes you who you are, let it shine through in your Common Application essay.
Pay attention to the structure of your essay.
As you’ll see in the “Bad” Common App Essay Examples section below, unorganized essays are hard to read. Admissions officers read hundreds to thousands of applications in a single year, so they go through them fast. That means that your essay needs to grab their attention and easily guide them through your narrative. Try your best to organize your ideas in a way that logically draws your reader through the story you’re telling.
Now keep those tips in mind as we go through each of these example essays.
Best Common App Essay Examples
There’s no single correct way to write a Common App essay, but the best ones grab your attention and keep it. They raise interesting questions, stories, and solutions. Writers reflect meaningfully on important topics, and they do so with a kind of elegance that’s hard to pinpoint. Writers use specific details and examples to set the scene. The best essays have narratives cohere perfectly and guide readers seamlessly through the story at hand.
Reading outstanding Common App essays can help you know what to aim for. Not every winning Common App essay has to look like the ones in this section, but they’ll give you a place to get started.
In particular, take note of the admissions officers’ comments and begin thinking about how you can apply these lessons to your own Common App essay.
Example #2: Board Game Family
Common App Prompt #1
“Professor Plum in the kitchen with the candlestick!”(( Opening with dialogue can be a risky choice, especially if it distracts the reader instead of drawing them in. But this essay uses opening dialogue as an effective hook to compel the reader to read on.)) My sister triumphed. I begrudgingly set down my clue tracker and opened the CONFIDENTIAL envelope. Indeed, her theory was correct. The thing about growing up in a board game family is that you quickly learn how to be a sore loser. In my home, countless sibling wars have been waged over an unjust hand of Gin Rummy or an out-of-bounds toe in Twister. But what I lack in sibling sportsmanship I make up for in wits. Playing board games with my family has taught me that the key to winning any game is resilience, sound strategy, and a little bit of charm(( This introduction has some fun language. And with this sentence, the writer gets straight to the heart of their essay. )) .
Candy Land was my gateway game, and it remains one of my favorites to play with my younger siblings. The game itself is simple: pick a card and move to the corresponding color on the board. First one to King Candy’s Castle wins. But, like life, the journey to the castle is full of setbacks. One unlucky draw, and you’ll lose half your progress. Having made many journeys up Candy Mountain, I grew accustomed to these setbacks. As I entered high school, I began facing real-world roadblocks that threatened to send me ten steps backward. My family moved towns, and the transition proved difficult. I felt behind in the new curriculum and lonely at a new school. Establishing a Board Game club helped me find friends and start my journey back toward Candy Castle.
As I grew older, I gravitated toward more difficult games like Risk. Unlike Candy Land, Risk requires strategy. Sure, randomly conquering territories might get you somewhere, but I learned that the most successful crusades are those that feature careful planning. Risk takes up our entire kitchen table, and we’ll play for hours at a time. My brother and I like to establish secret ententes. With whispered asides and unnoticed bathroom breaks, we work together to ensure victory. And when something doesn’t go our way, we revise our strategy and prepare for the next round. Risk isn’t just about taking risks–it’s about learning when to act, what to do, and who to align yourself with. It’s a lesson that applies to life outside the kitchen table, too.
While I’ve learned from every game I’ve played, the most impactful has been Scrabble(( This excerpt shows great personality, reflection, and personal growth.)) . When I started studying for the SATs, my family took up Scrabble. At first, Scrabble almost broke us. Dictionaries were slammed shut, points miscalculated, and tiles mysteriously lost. But with each new game, the board set anew, we remembered our mission: to help me practice vocabulary. With this fresh perspective, we began to work together. Instead of playing to win, we played to challenge each other and ourselves. For every non-word word I put on the board, I had to plead my case. Arguments like “Ahot” is synonymous with cold because of the root “a,” meaning “without” and “Truc” is a fun French word that we should have anglicized a long time ago anyway earned me both eyerolls and points. The more charming I was, the more sound my defense became, and the more likely my family was to concede. Together, we made our own rules and unforgettable memories.
I’ve summited Candy Mountain thousands of times and founded more countries than I can count. Our Scrabble games don’t look like everyone else’s, but these moments around my kitchen table, filled with laughter and rivalries, white lies and trusted alliances, are ones I will always cherish. They have made me into the thoughtful and strategic person I am today. More importantly, they’ve taught me that there’s a lot to learn when you’re having fun(( The writer concludes with this intentional reflection that leaves no question in the reader’s mind about what the main takeaway from the essay should be.)) .
AO Notes on Board Game Family
This essay takes a fun topic, board games, and turns it into a fun college essay. Most importantly, the writer doesn’t spend too much time focusing on the games themselves. Instead, they use the games as a way to talk about themself. That’s the key in an essay like this.
Why this essay stands out:
- Humor: We get a strong sense of the writer’s personality through their humor. It’s okay to show some personality in your college essays!
- Meaning : Through each of these stories, we learn a lot about the writer’s family background. There’s a clear picture of what their home looked like growing up, so we can easily see how they developed into who they are today.
- Action steps: The writer doesn’t just describe fun family game nights. They explicitly connect these game nights to their determination as a player, sibling, and student. We see the steps they took to make new friends, win alongside their brother, and study for the SATs.
Example #3: The Bowl That Taught Me Not to Quit
Common App Prompt #2
The clay felt cold against my skin as my knees hugged the wheel for dear life(( With this opening, we jump right into the writer’s emotions. They don’t have to tell us explicitly what they’re feeling—we can feel that they are anxious from their description alone. It’s a wonderful example of “show, not tell.”)) . Don’t. Fall. Over. I begged the clay to stay put. In the back of my mind, I heard the instructor saying, “The clay will mirror what you do. If you are steady, the clay will be steady.” I planted my feet firmly on the floor and stared my bowl-to-be dead in the eye.
My journey as a ceramicist began as many journeys do: with a scolding from my mother. She said that I was wasting my summer. I needed a hobby. Flipping through the community center catalog, my gaze landed on Ceramics 101: Beginners. I decided to take on the wheel.
Soon, I was captivated. For the last three thousand years, ceramicists have been throwing clay to create pottery that is quicker to make and more reliable than hand-crafted pottery. This past summer, as I developed my pottery skills, I learned about more than clay. I learned about myself.
To start any project, there’s the matter of choosing which clay to use. When it came time for my first throw, I chose stoneware clay for its durability. I grabbed a slab, dabbed it with water, and tossed it on the wheel, just as the teacher had instructed. My foot gently pressed the wheel’s pedal, a vehicle for which I was certainly not licensed. Covered in wet clay, I pressed my hands against the slab, trying to shape it. But it wobbled(( And here we have the main conflict: things did not go as expected. As readers, we ask ourselves: what will the writer do now?)) . It spun completely out of control. I had clay in my hair and up my sleeves. My project, it seemed, was already ruined.
While I didn’t expect to be a ceramics savant, I did expect to make it through the first class without a mud bath. I felt like a failure as I watched all the other students, whose clay was taking shape on gracefully spinning wheels. I was embarrassed. I wanted to quit. And I was used to quitting, having never been able to hold down an extracurricular activity throughout high school(( With this simple sentence, we learn that the writer has struggled with overcoming challenges in the past. )) . Cutting my losses would be quicker than cleaning the clay from my clothes, so I began to wipe off my hands and pack up my things. The instructor approached me, explaining that what had just happened was perfectly normal. She urged me to try again. I didn’t want to, but her presence made me stay.
For the rest of the class, the instructor hovered by my wheel. She was ready to lend a hand when necessary. She was my safety net, and I felt more confident to continue. I squeezed my clay out and down with the care of a first-time mom. It began to look more like a bowl and less like a mound of dirt. As I watched the bowl come into being, I felt tears prick my eyes. I felt silly for crying at something so simple, but it wasn’t so simple after all. A bowl materialized from my bare hands, all because I didn’t quit.
Quitting(( This paragraph has wonderful reflection.)) is easy, and I’ve taken the easy road more times than I can count. But it ended the day of that ceramics class. If you leave clay untended, it will dry out and become useless. Before ceramics, I hadn’t been tending to myself. I grew dry, cracking under the weight of any external pressures. But my teacher taught me that a little more persistence, time, and effort can yield something beautiful and useful.
When my bowl was done, I carried it to the shelf to be fired. The instructor explained that she’d put our projects in the kiln, and we could pick them up at our next class. I returned the following week and saw my bowl sitting on my wheel. It was imperfect but sturdy, messy yet intricate. It was exactly right. I set it aside and grabbed another block of clay, foot hovering over the pedal(( This conclusion ties up the essay with a bow. It calls back to the beginning and emphasizes that the writer will keep overcoming whatever obstacles arise.)) .
AO Notes on The Bowl that Taught Me Not to Quit
In this essay, the writer goes on a journey learning to do ceramics. We see that they experience failure but can learn from it. Their strengths of creativity and resilience shine through.
- Positive spin: Writing college essays about challenges is difficult because it’s easy to get wrapped up in hardship. But this essay does a great job moving on from the failure and focusing on the lessons learned.
- Explaining an underwhelming resume: It happens so quickly that you might miss it if you blink, but this writer very subtly explains why they don’t have many resume items . Accounting for an insufficient resume in this way comes across as taking responsibility rather than making excuses. We also see that the writer has learned from these challenges and is moving forward in a new direction.
Example #4: ENFP
Common App Prompt #6
“You know how whenever you want to plan out your weekend there are too many fun things to do and too many people to do them with? And how it’s impossible to commit to doing anything next Saturday, let alone next month? What if something even more exciting comes up? Ugh!”
“I have literally no idea what you’re talking about. That sounds stressful.”
My friend’s response confused me.
“Stressful!? It’s fun! And stressful. But mostly fun.”
We’ve all had realizations that remind us we are not the same as the people around us(( After that fun introduction, this sentence brings our attention directly to the main point of the essay.)) . Our brains and our tendencies are ours, and they aren’t necessarily shared by others–even close friends and family.
This conversation was one of those times. I was a sophomore and truly did not consider that my peers would follow routines, carefully planning out their weekends while I relied on vibes, group texts, and parental reminders of homework to get me through. Every day is a new experience and I wake up energized for the excitement of a new beginning. Fun, right?
Apparently, some people find my way stressful.
The first week of junior year, my English teacher surprised us with a test. Not an academic one–she administered the Myers Briggs Type Indicator. I didn’t know what that meant, but she explained it was a personality assessment. Then she looked directly at me and pointed.
“YOU! YOU are an ENFP!”
I’d been called a lot of things, but this was a new one. She was absolutely certain that this string of meaningless letters described me. As if anyone could possibly define me!
Sure enough, I took the assessment and got my results. E-N-F-P. Extraverted-iNtuitive-Feeling-Perceiving. I learned that each variable was one of two possibilities that describe people’s preferences about how they interact with their external and internal world. Each person exists on a spectrum between each set of variables.
I was pretty extreme on all four. Suddenly, I understood why people said I had a “big personality”.
This was just the start of my journey into psychology to better understand myself and others(( This paragraph ties together the personality test story with the writer’s personal journey of seeing the world through new perspectives.)) . I knew I was an extrovert–that was the easy one. But now I felt like I had language to explain why my arguments in debate were naturally grounded in emotion (common for Feeling types) rather than the data of a Thinker. I understood why my Judgment (J, rather than P) friends couldn’t stand my inability to commit to a plan. I needed to Perceive all of my options before committing to just one of them.
I delved into writers, psychologists, and researchers like Adam Grant, Dan Pink, Malcolm Gladwell, and Gretchen Rubin. I even embraced my own (very ENFP) preference to listen to their audiobooks rather than read in quiet solitude. I listen to books with one ear bud in while walking around my small town. That way I can learn while staying open to meeting a new friend, stopping by a shop, or petting a cute dog.
My INTJ friend didn’t understand how I could listen to a book while actively striking up conversations with strangers. To each their own.
Part of learning about myself was understanding that I love to learn about how people think and form habits. What works for one person doesn’t necessarily work for another. That is true for planning a weekend, maintaining relationships, or even writing a college essay.
I want to study psychology (and about 100 other subjects) and create a career where I can help people understand themselves and build positive habits around who they are(( I like how the writer connects these relations to their academic and career goals.)) , rather than try to change themselves to fit the expectations of others. Sure, maybe that will lead me to become a psychologist. But I think teachers, doctors, writers, and business leaders have an opportunity to do this as well.
All I know for sure is that, just like each new day, college is the next adventure. I’m excited to see what happens.
AO Notes on ENFP
Most of us know about personality tests, but this writer is able to make the topic a deeply personal one. We learn about their personality and habits. We learn about how they interact with others. Overall, the topic really helps us see the world from their perspective.
- Creative topic: The topic itself isn’t one an admissions officer will see every day. But it’s not so out-there that it comes across as hokey.
- Perspective: Admissions officers appreciate when students can see the world from perspectives other than their own. This writer shows a lot of maturity when explaining how their personality test sparked a realization that they don’t see the world the same way their friends do.
- Connections to future goals: The writer doesn’t just present the topic without speaking to its greater meaning. They show that personality tests are meaningful to them because they are related to an academic interest in psychology.
Example #5: Warhammer 40k Miniatures
Carefully(( This introduction has great vivid language.)) dipping the microscopic end of my horse hair brush into the pot of citadel paint, I can feel my excitement building. Gunmetal grey—my favorite primer color. Next comes the white and gold highlights that edge the armor. I'm about to bring one of my favorite Orcs to life, adding tactful details and shading to his green skin and menacing scowl. This is my passion, my obsession: painting Warhammer 40k miniatures.
Now, I’m well aware of the reputation Warhammer has—nerdy. As a tabletop miniature war game set in a dystopian future(( The writer subtly explains this hobby just in case admissions officers aren’t familiar with it.)) , players collect and paint miniatures to represent their armies. They then battle it out on a tabletop strewn with miniature trees, structures, and other terrains. I've been a fan of the game for years, but it's the painting that I love most. There’s something about taking a tiny, unpainted model and turning it into a work of art that I find incredibly satisfying. Nerd, guilty as charged.
I've always been drawn to the Orcs in particular, with their sheer strength and ferocity. But lately, I've been getting more into the Necrons, these ancient, robotic warriors that have been resurrected after millions of years of dormancy. And let's not forget the noble Tau, with their advanced technology and futuristic design. The story of each people goes deep, too. There are dozens of books written about the broader universe of Warhammer—a shared world that spans tens of thousands of years of lore. I’ve read almost every one of them. No matter the character I’m painting, no matter the story they’ll take place in, I watch in awe as each brushstroke brings the character to life in front of my eyes.
As my obsession with miniature painting has grown, I've started entering painting competitions(( This detail shows the magnitude and impact of the activity.)) . It's nerve-wracking showing off my work to a panel of judges, but it's also incredibly rewarding when they appreciate my hard work. I’ve received accolades and even small prizes for my artistry. After every competition, I choose my favorite miniature to display on a shelf in my room. I still have some of the earliest miniatures on my shelf, looking a little rough around the edges but still serving as a reminder of where I started.
But painting miniatures isn't just a hobby for me; it's also been a gateway for other forms of art. I've started dabbling in oil painting, using the same attention to detail and skillful brushwork that I use on my miniatures. While making the transition to a new medium has been challenging, I’ve slowly I’ve built a small collection of paintings. Some of them are as epic as my miniatures—depictions of battles and important moments from the 40k universe. But others are more tranquil, like a recent landscape I painted for my mom’s birthday of the stream behind our house(( We also learn how the writer’s obsession has expanded to other areas of their life. I like this detail because it’s an endearing story of the writer making art for their mom.)) . Becoming more dynamic with my art has made me a better artist, which has in turn made my miniatures even more lifelike.
Warhammer has been the biggest portal into a world of imagination and creativity. But it’s also unlocked my belief in myself as someone capable of succeeding in art(( And here it is—a central point of the essay. Painting these miniatures isn’t just about the miniatures. It’s also about the writer’s growth as an artist.)) . I’ve transcended the level of hobbyist and, over the years I’ve been painting, I’ve learned to call myself an artist. That title is a lot to carry, but it’s one that I can’t wait to continue growing into, figure by figure, painting by painting. And I can’t wait to bring the world of 40k to my dorm—sharing the universe with my friends and classmates. You’ll know where to find me. Just look for the nerdy artist with the dense wooden play table, toting around an army of skeletal warriors and hulking orcs. I can’t wait to share my world with you.
AO Notes on Warhammer 40k Miniatures
This essay is a great example of how to write about a hobby in a college essay. Notice how the writer explains their hobby in vivid detail, but the core of the essay is still about the writer themself.
- Vivid details: Personal statements can be wonderful exercises in creative writing. While that can be difficult for some students, this writer did it exactly right.
- Narrative structure: The writer seamlessly transitions readers between each paragraph. They slowly reveal how their journey has progressed. And, most importantly, they incorporate loads of good reflection.
- Personal meaning: It’s clear that Warhammer itself is meaningful to the writer. But I also like how they draw the focus inward to discuss how painting miniatures “unlocked” a belief in themself.
Example #6: The Band
Common App Prompt #5
I always imagined my band’s first show would take place on a stage. Maybe not in front of a packed amphitheater, but a stage. One with lights, a sound system, a curtain behind it, and some mixture of friends, family, and strangers ready to hear us play.
But there I was, holding a guitar in the women’s section of JC Penney at the mall(( This sentence is so unexpected that it’s sure to make most admissions officers stop, do a double take, and chuckle.)) . We fumbled through a cover of “Mr. Brightside” while middle-aged women shopped for sundresses.
Not exactly what I had in mind.
Our drummer’s mom managed the shoe section at JC Penney and said her boss wanted a creative way to get younger people excited about shopping there. She suggested that her son’s band would be perfect for this opportunity. They paid us in pizza and asked us to perform for two hours–a tall order for four high school sophomores who knew about five and a half songs.
It wasn’t evident to us that we would learn anything from our musical endeavors, or that our music would take us beyond the local mall. I’ve always known writing and performing pop-rock songs isn’t a likely career path. But a recent late night conversation with my bandmates-turned-best-friends showed us all how much we have grown and learned through music(( This reflection is great.)) . What started as a way to spend time with friends on a hobby turned into an accidental entrepreneurial venture and surprisingly poignant lessons.
For one thing, writing music with others is hard. Getting four new musicians to agree on everything from tempo to lyrics to how many verses each song should have isn’t easy. We figured it out as we went along, fueled by copious amounts of Mountain Dew and Bagel Bites.
We eventually created a system where each member learned the lyrics to each song and at least one other person’s part. Sharing original lyrics–poetry–between friends is uncomfortable. But we became more cohesive once everyone was on the same page with the story we were telling. When the bass player, who can’t play drums, learned just enough to understand that the kick drum hits on beats 1 and 3 and the snare on the 2 and 4, our rhythm section began to play more in sync. Once our drummer got over his fear of singing, we were able to incorporate simple harmonies, which led to him improving our lyrics.
Most surprising was making money and feeling like we were running a small (very small) business(( By expanding the focus to talk about music as a business venture, the writer also shows the extent of their activity’s impact.)) . Our second show after the infamous JC Penney incident was a battle of the bands at the public pool that June. We placed fourth–no prize. By August, we played another battle of the bands and won first place, largely thanks to our efforts to publicize the event to everyone in our network (some might call it begging our friends to come). To our surprise, we won $800 on one of those comically large checks.
We decided to allocate some of the money to equipment we needed–cables, cymbal stands, and more Bagel Bites–and put the rest towards professional recording. The process of contacting local studios, negotiating rates, and working with professionals in the industry was completely new to all of us.
A year before, we thought agreeing on lyrics was tough. But the sonic experience of hearing your own music back and agreeing on the tone and effects of every instrument can bring out differences you didn’t know existed. I’d read about arguments between bands from the Beatles to Kings of Leon, and now the four of us had to work out our differences together in real time. Thankfully, we navigated that challenge without losing our sanity for more than a few brief moments.
I am grateful for the lessons we have learned over the past three years(( And with this conclusion, the writer really drives home the essay’s main theme.)) . Not only do we have music and memories to show for our efforts, but we have all learned about creative collaboration, budgeting, and marketing our art.
AO Notes on The Band
This essay makes me want to sing! It’s full of personality, but it still manages to be vulnerable and reflective. By the conclusion , we really see what the writer has learned from being in a band.
- Humor: The writer immediately draws us in with an introduction that is funny, surprising, and full of personality. The introduction alone makes me want to keep reading. And right as we’re through the introduction, the writer drives home their main point: they learned a lot through music. Then, to our delight, the humor continues throughout. It’s subtle enough to keep our attention and not be overwhelming or inauthentic.
- Strengths: I can see that the writer is very collaborative and entrepreneurial. I also like how they give insight into their relationship with their friends and bandmates—we learn a lot about them through their interactions with others.
- Accomplishments: This essay is a solid example of how to write about accomplishments in a personal and meaningful way. The writer could have just opened with the accomplishments, but that wouldn’t have been very interesting or vulnerable. By nesting those accomplishments within a broader story about music, the writer is able to convey greater meaning.
Good Common App Essay Examples
If you’re feeling intimated by all the outstanding essays you’ve seen online, fear not. You don’t have to have a Pulitzer to get into college.
What you do need is a good, meaningful essay, even if it’s not perfect. The essays in this section represent what the majority of Common App essays look like. They aren’t necessarily perfect, but they’re written strategically and with verve. You can tell that their writers genuinely care about the essay they’ve been tasked with.
Putting in a similar effort with your own Common App essay will get you far. Let’s take a look.
Example #7: Herb
I stood in the dimly lit garage, staring at the child-sized pile of metal and wires in front of me. I couldn't help but feel a sense of awe. This was our creation(( This introduction reveals the product of the journey the writer is about to go on: building a robot.)) , a robot that my father and I had spent months designing and building with meticulous care.
It all started on a slow Sunday afternoon, when my dad suggested we take on a new project. He wanted to build a robot. At first, I was hesitant. I was skeptical that we had the know-how to even construct the body of the robot, much less one that actually worked. But my dad, a tinkerer and inventor, was determined to try. So we got everything set up in the garage and got to work. As it turns out, building a robot wouldn’t just improve our technical abilities. It would bring us closer together along the way.
Before this project, my dad and I tended to argue and disagree(( I appreciate this clear transition and description of the “before” state that the writer and their father are growing from.)) . But in the garage with our robot materials, we were both so invested in building the robot that we collaborated perfectly. We bounced ideas off each other, read books and online forums, and even got advice from friends who were more experienced in robotics. For what seemed like the first time, my dad thought of me as an equal. Usually I was just there to hand him wrenches and screwdrivers as he worked on his latest creation. This time was different. We were a team. And with each passing day, our robot began to come alive.
We spent months in the garage, building and troubleshooting. My dad worked on the mechanics. He carefully assembled the joints and servos that would give the robot its movement. While he did that, I focused on the design. I drew mock-ups on my iPad and researched different exterior materials to use. I clumsily constructed our prototypes before my dad helped me put all the pieces together.
The final result was a beautiful machine. It was almost four feet tall and towered over our family dog. And it actually worked. The exterior gleamed—the sensors we used added visual flair and extreme function. But the most impressive aspect of our robot was its artificial intelligence system, which we had spent weeks programming and refining together. It was still fairly rudimentary as far as robots go, but we were proud of such a major accomplishment.
We decided to name our creation Herb, after my father’s beloved herb garden. We liked the irony of mixing a machine with a garden. He was perfect.
After working on him for months, it was time to enter Herb into a local show for machine enthusiasts. Our entry was accepted(( This detail also shows the magnitude of their accomplishment.)) . The show will take place next spring, so my dad and I are polishing Herb’s exterior, tweaking bugs that arise in his artificial intelligence, and preparing him for his out-of-garage debut.
While I’m proud that we will finally get to show Herb off to the world, what I’m more proud of is how far my father and I have come. Working on Herb brought us closer together, and the process helped my dad see me as a fellow tinkerer and inventor rather than just an assistant. In our garage, as we constructed something entirely un-human, we found the human in ourselves. Our father-son love came to life through a robot. I wouldn’t trade it for anything(( I really like this poetic conclusion that neatly ties together the essay’s theme.)) .
AO Notes on Herb:
This essay is an endearing story about how the writer’s relationship with their father improved while working on a robot together. We learn a lot about the student and their interests as we accompany them on this journey.
What makes this essay good:
- Organization: There’s some back and forth with narrative and reflection in this essay that gives it a pretty complex structure. But the writer does an awesome job keeping readers on track by using very clear signposting. Phrases like “before this project” and “after working on him for months” help readers navigate the complexity.
- Reflection: The writer incorporates great reflection throughout. The third paragraph shows us the “before state” that the writer is growing from, and by the end of the essay, we really see where they’ve ended up mentally, emotionally, and personally.
What the writer could do to level up:
- More focus on the writer : While this essay isn’t too bad about this, there is some room for improvement. The main descriptive parts of the essay all focus on the robot. We do learn about the writer and their goals through these descriptions. But the essay is approaching being too much about the robot and not enough about the writer.
Example #8: Laughter & Acceptance
"Why was the transgender person so bad at math? Because they always had to trans-late equations!"
Okay, okay, that was a terrible joke. But let me tell you, finding self-acceptance as a transgender person ain't no joke. It's a struggle, a battle, a war. But it's a war that can be won, and I'm here to tell you how(( From the start, we get a clear sense of the writer’s personality. This sentence also tells us exactly what the essay is about.)) .
I grew up in a world that told me being trans was wrong, that it was something to be ashamed of. And I believed it. I tried to hide who I was, to pretend like I was someone else. But it was like trying to fit a square peg into a round hole. It just didn't work.
But then something happened. I don't know what it was—maybe a shift in the universe, maybe a sign from God. But something changed, and I realized that I couldn't keep living a lie. I had to be true to myself, regardless of what misery and consequences that might bring down around my head.
After telling my younger sister, who cried tears of joy and support, bless her, I decided to come out to the rest of my family. Let me tell you, it was not pretty. They didn't understand what I meant. They told me I was going to hell, that I was a disgrace to our family. And it hurt, oh man it hurt. But through the pain I saw a glimmer of something—was that hope?(( The writer does an excellent job reflecting and taking the “more phoenix, less ashes” approach.)) For the first time, I was being honest with myself and with the world. The whips and lashes of my parents’ words were more painful than I could have anticipated, but I left the room with my head held up and a barely-perceptible feeling of lightness around my shoulders.
And that's when the real work began. See, coming out is one thing, but accepting yourself is another. It's not easy, trust me. It's like trying to walk on a tightrope, one wrong step and you're a gonner. But I didn't give up, I kept going.
And you know what? It started to get easier. I started to find people who accepted me for who I was, who supported me and loved me. I started to feel confident in my own skin. And it was a good feeling—a great feeling. The best feeling.
But my life isn’t all sunshine and rainbows. There are still moments every day when I feel down, when the weight of the world feels like it's crushing me. But even in those moments, I've learned to find strength in myself, to remind myself that I am worthy and deserving of love and respect.
And that's what self-acceptance is all about. No one can avoid feeling sad, angry, or frustrated all the time. But if those feelings only crop up now and again? You’re doing pretty good. Most of all, it’s about letting those negative emotions pass when they come, roll over you like a wave before they go on their way. It's about laughing at the absurdity of it all(( With this philosophy, we really see how much the writer has grown.)) , and finding joy and humor in the midst of the pain.
So, dear reader(( Addressing your reader in a college essay is a pretty risky stylistic choice that we would generally advise against.)) , if you're struggling with self-acceptance, you're not alone. I’m there with you. And remember: it's okay to laugh at yourself, to find the humor in the situation. It's not always easy, but it's worth it. Because when you can accept yourself, you can be proud of who you are, and that's something to be truly grateful for. Tell a joke about yourself and laugh it off. You’ll feel better, I promise(( I like these sentiments, but they could be more focused on the writer instead of the reader.)) .
AO Notes on Laughter & Acceptance
This essay does a wonderful job maintaining sight of the writer’s strengths and positivity in light of really tough challenges. The writer isn’t afraid to be vulnerable. Because of that, we learn a lot about them.
- Authenticity : I’d guess that this essay couldn’t have been written by anyone other than its writer. Its voice is so clear and authentic that I truly feel like the writer is talking straight to me. Since Common App essays are one of the only places where you get to speak straight to an admissions officer, authenticity is key.
- Positivity : Let’s face it. This essay is about a really serious topic that was clearly challenging for the writer. But what makes it so great is that in spite of all the challenges, the writer is able to find positivity and light. They don’t dwell on the hardships but look forward to the future. That’s exactly what a college essay about a challenging topic should do.
- Tone : Balancing your personal tone and voice with the conventions of Common App essay writing can be tricky. It’s hard to predict how an admissions officer will react to what you write. Some might love the fact that this essay truly sounds like the student who wrote it, while others might be put off by its informality. The writer could clean up just a few areas of informal language to play it a little safer.
Example #9: The Old iPhone
Common App Prompt #3
I unscrewed the tiny Phillips-head screws and wedged open my iPhone 5. I cringed as the material cracked out of place. Despite my nervousness, I felt curious. I had always been fascinated by technology and machines, but this was the first time I had ever taken apart a device as complex as an iPhone.
And it wasn’t just any iPhone. It was my very first—my most prized possession until I bought my new phone a few months ago. Since then, it had been sitting in the back of my desk drawer, collecting dust and taking up space. I just didn’t have the heart to sell, recycle, or trade it in. On a day when my ADHD was particularly affecting me, I decided to tinker with my phone to calm myself down.
Working with machines and technology had become my biggest strategy for dealing with my ADHD on those difficult days(( This is an excellent transition.)) . I was diagnosed with ADHD when I was thirteen. I’d been struggling to pay attention in class, and my teachers and parents thought it would be best to get me tested. After I started taking medication, my symptoms improved a lot. But the whole process made me feel like something was off about the way my brain worked naturally. That’s why on the days my medication just isn’t cutting it I center myself by playing with machinery and technology. Even though I can’t fully understand my brain, I can understand a machine. Sometimes that knowledge is enough to get me back on track.
At my desk while disassembling the phone, I carefully removed each piece and set them aside on a bathroom hand towel beside me. I felt calm and focused. As someone with ADHD, it can be difficult for me to concentrate on a single task. But with every part I removed, my mind grew more and more focused. I didn’t feel pulled to passing thoughts and distractions like I normally do.
Working on the phone was like meditating. The parts were so small and delicate that it took all of my attention not to lose or break any. As I examined each component, I thought about all the hard work that goes into designing, manufacturing, and selling the millions of iPhones sold each year.
Taking apart the iPhone improved my technical knowledge, but it was more than that. It also helped me to understand my own mind in a new way(( This is an important shift back to the writer’s own experience. If it weren’t here, the essay would be too much about the iPhone and not enough about the writer.)) . While working my way through this small but magnificent machine, I realized that I could think of my own brain as a kind of machine. It has a complex network of circuits and pathways that control my thoughts and actions. It requires energy to work. It is made up of smaller components that allow it to function. I can’t tinker around with my brain, but I can appreciate it for the incredible machine that it is. I just need to learn more about how my brain works and adapt accordingly.
In many ways, my ADHD has always felt like a kind of malfunction, like something is wrong with me. But as I took apart the iPhone, I began to see that even the most advanced technology isn’t perfect—there’s dust and glitches and grime and bugs. And just as Apple does software updates and new product releases to improve the iPhone, I can find ways to improve how I function with my own brain(( With this comment, the essay ends on a very positive and hopeful note—exactly what you want in a college essay. )) .
AO Notes on My Old iPhone
In this essay, the writer describes how tinkering with an iPhone affected their personal journey with ADHD. I especially like how the writer takes two quite different topics and weaves them together seamlessly.
- Creative take: The core of this essay topic is a good one. The writer uses a hobby to talk about a deeper personal topic they’re wrestling with. As a result, we learn quite a bit about both.
- Strengths: We always say that you should write your college essays around core strengths. This writer does exactly that. As readers, we can tell that the writer is a problem-solver. They figured out a way to help themselves when their medication wasn’t working, and they also used that activity to do some reflection.
- Personal meaning: The writer could have just written about how they tinker with machines to help with their ADHD. But they went beyond that. They reflect more deeply on what the experience of having ADHD means to them.
- More connections: This essay is quite good. But as a reader, I’m still left wondering why the writer is drawn to tinkering and machines in the first place. It seems like there is room for the student to write a bit more about how the activity resonates with them personally.
Example #10: My Partner in Music
Built from a dark, mocha-colored wood and strung with the best strings my mom could afford, my viola has been with me through a lot. The first time I held the instrument in my hands, I knew it was made just for me. Sure, my viola had had previous owners. But they were only caring for it until it made its way home. My instrument is who I spend the most time with, who I know the closest, and who I’ve invested so much time in. With my viola, I’ve experienced my greatest accomplishments.
I come from a family of prodders rather than pushers(( This paragraph and the following dive too deeply into the writer’s past without making clear why the information is necessary to the narrative.)) . My loved ones have never pushed me to do anything, but I’ve been prodded in certain directions. At a mere year old, I began swim lessons. At age two, I took up soccer. At two and a half, I experimented with gymnastics. None of those activities ever stuck. But my true calling came at age three when my parents started me on viola lessons.
At first, I struggled to even hold my tiny, almost toy-like viola in place. Barely able to hold my own fork for dinner, I wrestled to place my fingers correctly on the fingerboard. When it was finally time for me to use my bow, it kept falling under its own weight, my small arm not strong enough to balance it.
But I was enthralled by the sounds I was able to make. I watched in awe as my teacher conjured up the most beautiful music I’d ever heard from her instrument. Unlike swimming, soccer, and gymnastics, music made sense to me. The ability to make something so engaging from wood and metal captured my attention.
When I got my new instrument, I had been playing the viola for exactly twelve years. Between the age of three and fifteen, my skills had grown exponentially. All those nights and weekends practicing, the blisters, and the hours and hours of lessons had paid off.
This past year, I earned a spot in the American Youth Symphony, one of the most prestigious youth symphonies in the world(( It’s not until this paragraph that we get to the heart of the essay: the writer’s big accomplishment, and the challenges they overcome to get there.)) . With the symphony’s minimum age of fifteen and average age in the early twenties, I’m one of the youngest musicians in the ensemble.
It wasn’t always so clear that playing viola was my destiny. When I was a sophomore in high school, I auditioned for my regional youth symphony. I had practiced my solo for months. I had played the piece so many times that it practically became part of me. With an imaginary metronome ticking away inside of me, my fingers knew exactly how to race across my strings, and my bow hand followed along in perfect time.
When it came time for my regional orchestra audition, however, the song completely vanished. I walked up to the stage, judges behind a partition. I sat down, brought my viola up to my chin, and froze. What had been muscle memory evaporated into thin air, and I was left with a blank mind and a silent instrument. I panicked, unsure of what to do.
I stared down at the scroll of my instrument and took a deep breath. We had played this piece a thousand times. We were ready. Most importantly, I wasn’t doing this alone. My viola and I were in it together. I raised my bow to the strings and began. The song emerged from my fingers, bow, and instrument. It was beautiful. It was perfect. That audition earned me regional first chair, and I learned a valuable lesson: I have to believe in myself(( And here we get to the theme of the essay. It’s not just about the viola. It’s about the writer—a musician.)) .
Now, as a member of the American Youth Symphony, I return to this lesson every day. It’s easy to get intimated when you’re playing alongside the country’s best young musicians. But, with my viola in hand, I know that I am a musician, too.
AO Notes on My Partner in Music
This writer tells us about their prized instrument. But the essay isn’t just about the instrument. It’s about the writer. The essay does an excellent job detailing a challenge the writer overcame. By the end, we see that the writer has grown and has achieved a huge accomplishment.
- Contextualizing a great achievement: The writer’s strengths shine through in this essay because of their achievement. But throughout the essay, we also see that the writer has had to work hard to get to where they’re at today. That context adds great dimension to our understanding of them.
- Voice: Through all the events that happen in this essay, the writer’s voice remains consistent. They have a solid tone that shows their work ethic and unwillingness to give up.
- Get to the main idea quicker: Notice how the first few paragraphs of this essay are simple setup. We learn a lot about who the student was as a child before we get to the heart of the essay. The central conflict doesn’t come until almost the last paragraph. In general, college essays should be primarily about things that have happened in your life since starting high school. Brief mentions of previous events are fine, but they take up a touch too much space in this essay. It takes a while for us, the readers, to really see what the essay is about.
Example #11: The Laundromat
As the son of Chinese immigrants, I grew up working in my parents' laundromat(( Sometimes straightforward “statement” hooks work. This one does the job well.)) . It wasn't glamorous, but it was a good way to earn some extra money and help out my family. Over the years, I got to know a lot of the regulars who came in to use the machines. Some were friendly, some were angry, and some were just plain weird. But one thing they all had in common was that they had stories to tell. And I learned from every single one of them.
There was Mrs. Nguyen, an older Vietnamese woman who came in every week with a small load of clothes. She always greeted me warmly and snuck me a hard strawberry candy. We mostly talked about me—my schoolwork, friends, and sports. But one day, she opened up. She told me about her experiences fleeing Vietnam in the aftermath of the war. She described the dangers she faced and the sacrifices she made to keep her family safe. I was stunned that someone I had grown so close to had experienced such a challenge. What shocked me most was Mrs. Nguyen’s kindness in spite of everything she had been through. Before learning this about Mrs. Nguyen, I let small problems like late homework and friend arguments really upset me. But hearing her story put things into perspective for me, and I’m so grateful that she felt comfortable enough to share it with me(( Perspective: always a good lesson to learn. This example shows some good maturity.)) .
Carlos came every Tuesday and Thursday. He was a thirteen-year-old who always seemed to be practicing for the spelling bee. He went to my sister’s school and was shy and quiet. But after seeing him multiple times a week, I learned that he was also incredibly smart and dedicated. He would come into the laundromat with a stack of flashcards and a dictionary, looking for somewhere quiet to practice. He’d close his eyes and mouth the letters to himself before peeking to see if he was right. After months of watching him, I finally went up to him and offered to help(( With this “show, not tell” example, we see our writer exhibiting generosity and kindness. I also like the humor and personality in the following two sentences.)) . I started quizzing him on words that I couldn’t even really pronounce myself. I relied heavily on his dictionary! But after practicing together, Carlos won his school spelling bee and eventually went on to regionals. I was so proud of him. I learned that it if you want to succeed, you have to put in the work like Carlos did. Every time I think of quitting something, I remind myself of his determination, and I keep going.
And finally, there was Gary, a nurse who worked in the emergency room at our local hospital. He was always rushing through his laundry because of his busy schedule, but he was never too busy to sit down and talk with us kids. Gary inspired my interest in pursuing medicine. He told me countless stories about what he saw in the ER. But what I always appreciated most was when he would explain the science behind what was happening. Gary was a talented teacher who could always break down complex concepts into something even a kid could understand. By my junior year, Gary encouraged me to take AP Chemistry and Biology and now he’s helping me look at pre-medicine programs(( Nice—we get some background about the student’s academic interests.)) . Gary has sparked in me an interest in caring for people through medicine.
I could have chosen to ignore all these people and hide away in the back of the laundromat. But instead I chose to talk with them, even though it was sometimes scary and intimidating. Being around so many people, hearing all their stories, it’s really shown me that everyone has a story to tell. More importantly, everyone can learn from those around them. I wouldn’t be who I am today without the regulars at the laundromat, and I hope I inspired them in some way too.
AO Notes on The Laundromat
In this classic “understanding self through others” essay, we get to know the writer through their interactions with others. The writer does a pretty good job walking the (sometimes dangerous) line between saying too much about others and not enough about themself.
- Personality: One of the best parts of “understanding self through others” essays is that we get to see who the writer is without them having to tell us. Through each of these small interactions, the writer—and their personality, values, beliefs—shines through.
- Maturity: This writer shows several strengths. I think one of the most salient is their maturity. The way they were able to learn from Mrs. Nguyen, help Carlos, and be inspired by Gary took a lot of maturity. As an AO, that would tell me that this student is ready for the college classroom.
- Connection to academic interests: Not all personal essays need to connect to an academic interest. Most probably don’t. But it was a natural connection for this writer, and I’m glad they made it. It raises the stakes of their interactions and leads beautifully into their conclusion.
- Streamline: With the three different examples, the essay reads a bit choppy. The writer could put better transitions in between each person, or they could weave the examples together into a cohesive narrative. Streamlining would also help emphasize the essay’s focus on the writer rather than the laundromat patrons.
“Bad” Common App Essay Examples
Okay, these essays aren’t necessarily “bad” as essays. But if we’re being honest, they’re not great Common App essays either.
That doesn’t mean that they don’t have the potential to become great Common App essays, though. As you’ll see in the notes from our Admissions Officers, these essays contain the seeds of good essays. They just need some reorganization and refinement.
Let’s take a look.
Example #11: What I’ve Learned About Life
We all know that life is short so you have to make the most of it. I always try to do my best and live every day to the fullest(( These sentences are both cliches. It’s always better to hook readers in with your own words.)) . Well, I did that until I broke my arm in 8th grade. I used to be not afraid to do anything, but it turns out that’s what got me in trouble. I was riding my bike home from school one day and saw a stump. I thought about what we talked about in English class that day. It was something about “carpe diem” and so I decided, “You know what? I’m gonna jump that stump.”(( This story makes for a good concrete example.)) And I did. Almost. My bike tire caught on the stump and flipped me over the handle bars. A bystander had to help me call my mom to take me to the hospital and it was fractured in four places pretty bad it actually hurt a lot. So after that I still learned to live every day to the fullest but I also learned that you need to make good decisions when doing so.
My mom always tells me that I need to be more patient because it’s a virtue and I am not patient at all. But I have decided that the most important thing to me is to try hard no matter what. I’ll work until the ends of the earth to prove myself because those who work hard succeed. So when I realized that I tried to listen to my mom. Now when I get impatient I take a deep breath and remember my goal of being successful and sometimes it is hard to be patient and I can get angry or frustrated but then I think about what my mom said. It’s a virtue and I want to be as virtuous as possible. My mom has worked so hard in this life to give me a better life and all I want to do is make her proud(( These are fantastic sentiments that could be drawn out more clearly.)) . I really think that’s what it means to be a good person. I’ll always work hard so I can be successful and she can watch me shine.
AO Notes on What I’ve Learned About Life
This essay, while short, gives an honest effort at conveying something deeply meaningful. I especially like the very last sentence, which tells us a lot about who the writer is as a person. But there are a few areas this essay could improve.
What this essay does well:
- Authenticity: It’s clear that the writer is discussing something very meaningful. I have no doubt that these lessons have played a big role in their life.
What could be improved on:
- Too short: The maximum word count for the Common Application essay is 650 words. We like to encourage students to get to at least 80% of the word count, which means that your Common App essays should be at least 520 words. This essay is only 361.
- The topic is too vague and full of generalities: The writer is communicating something meaningful about what they’ve learned throughout their life, but they do so only through generalities. Being too vague makes it hard for admissions officers to see who you really are. Instead, the writer could use concrete experiences and reflect specifically on how those experiences impacted them.
Example #12: Clean Slate
Common App Prompt #7
Bubbles, foam, and the sweet smell of chemicals. Shiny surfaces free of streaks and grime. I cleaned the entire house in three hours flat. I never really learned how to clean growing up, but I started seeing cleaning videos online. The cleaning videos always relax me, so I thought I’d give it a try(( This shows the writer’s initiative.)) .
First I needed to figure out what kinds of supplies to buy. After watching a few more videos, I made a list of the most commonly used items. Since I was on a limited budget, so I could only get the basics. I turned to coupons to find the best bargains possible. I bought disinfectant, a multi-purpose cleaner, and a window and mirror spray. I also found a mop, sponges, and a scrubber brush. It all cost me only fifteen dollars!
My family was shocked when I came home with these supplies in a shopping bag. They didn’t understand why I cared so much. We vacuumed and used disinfectant wipes every so often to keep things manageable, but none of us knew that you are supposed to deep clean your house every month or so until I told everyone based on what I saw online. I showed them each product I bought and told them what the purpose of each one was. They were proud of me for taking initiative and learning something new. They also couldn’t wait to see the results.
Then it was time for me to get to work. To strike inspiration, I put on another cleaning video in the background. I began with the bathroom. It was tidy, but it sure wasn’t clean. There was dust on all the surfaces, soap scum, and rust. I grabbed the disinfectant spray first because it has to sit for a while to actually disinfect. Then I used the mirror spray to clean toothpaste off the mirror. I scrubbed all the surfaces with my new sponge until they were squeaky clean. Then I moved on to the floors. My mop is a spray mop, so it was a quick job.
Next I moved on to the kitchen. That was much harder because it was more complex. There are several appliances, dishes to do, and food to put away. I wiped down the cabinets, which had a dark grime that you couldn’t even see before. I felt accomplished because I was actually cleaning. Once the kitchen was done, I moved on to the living room and the bedrooms. It took forever, but I did it(( By this point, we should have some more reflection from the writer about why this story is personally meaningful.)) .
I gave my family a tour around the house, showing them all the nooks and crannies I had cleaned. They were impressed and I felt so proud. I stood back, admiring my work. The house glistened like a diamond with cleanliness.
The next day I got up and decided to take a look around, excited to see my handiwork again. I was in shock when I stepped into the kitchen. It was a disaster. There was food and dishes everywhere. I ran to the bathroom. It wasn’t any better. There were dirty clothes and an open toothpaste tube. The baseboards already had a small bit of dust. I was devastated. All my hard work was gone just like that.
I told my family how upset I was. They understood and said that they would try to be better next time. But I also learned that that’s just how cleaning goes. You can try to keep things tidy, but we actually live in this house and sometimes that means making a mess. I hugged my family members and felt better after their apology(( I really like the picture we get of the writer here. I can tell that they are very mature and thoughtful!)) . We made up, they picked up a few things to pitch in, and I put my cleaning supplies back in the closet until next time.
AO Notes on Clean Slate
In this essay, we go on a cleaning journey with the writer. We see their successes and disappointments. We learn a bit about their family background, and we cheer them on as they overcome challenges.
- Writing and organization: This essay is well-written, and the narrative easily holds a reader’s interest. There’s a good sense of the plot, and the paragraphs are clearly organized and easy to read through.
- Strengths: We really see the writer’s initiative through this story. They did their research, got their supplies, and put their interest into action.
- More significance: While this is a fun topic, it doesn’t convey much meaning about the writer’s life. The writer could make the topic more significant by adding more reflection throughout to show explicitly how this story has changed them as a person. Or they could select a different topic that relates to something more deeply meaningful about their life.
Key Takeaways
Hopefully these Common App essay examples have shown you what to do (and what not to do). More importantly, we hope that the commentary from our former admissions officers has helped you analyze the why behind what makes an effective Common App essay.
Absorbing these lessons and applying them to your own Common Application essay will help take your writing to the next level. No matter what you write about, your goal should be to create a seamless application narrative that speaks to your strengths.
If you’re not sure what step to take next, we've got you covered. The Essay Academy — our comprehensive digital college essay course — walks you through every step. Plus, you can get personalized essay help for your own Common App essays.
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Applying to competitive colleges? You'll need to have a stand-out Common App essay.
In this article, I'm going to share with you:
- 25 outstanding Common App essay examples
- Links to tons of personal statement examples
- Why these Common App essays worked
If you're looking for outstanding Common App essay examples, you've found the right place.
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If you're applying to colleges in 2024, you're going to write some form of a Common App essay.
Writing a great Common App personal essay is key if you want to maximize your chances of getting admitted.
Whether you're a student working on your Common App essay, or a parent wondering what it takes, this article will help you master the Common App Essay.
What are the Common App Essay Prompts for 2024?
There are seven prompts for the Common App essay. Remember that the prompts are simply to help get you started thinking.
You don't have to answer any of the prompts if you don't want (see prompt #7 ).
Here's the seven Common App essay questions for 2022, which are the same as previous years:
- Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.
- The lessons we take from obstacles we encounter can be fundamental to later success. Recount a time when you faced a challenge, setback, or failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience?
- Reflect on a time when you questioned or challenged a belief or idea. What prompted your thinking? What was the outcome?
- Reflect on something that someone has done for you that has made you happy or thankful in a surprising way. How has this gratitude affected or motivated you?
- Discuss an accomplishment, event, or realization that sparked a period of personal growth and a new understanding of yourself or others.
- Describe a topic, idea, or concept you find so engaging that it makes you lose all track of time. Why does it captivate you? What or who do you turn to when you want to learn more?
- Share an essay on any topic of your choice. It can be one you've already written, one that responds to a different prompt, or one of your own design.
The last prompt is a catch-all prompt, which means you can submit an essay on any topic you want.
Use the Common App prompts as brainstorming questions and to get you thinking.
But ultimately, you should write about any topic you meaningfully care about.
What makes an outstanding Common App personal essay?
I've read thousands of Common App essays from highly motivated students over the past years.
And if I had to choose the top 2 things that makes for incredible Common App essays it's these:
1. Being Genuine
Sounds simple enough. But it's something that is incredibly rare in admissions.
Authenticity is something we all know when we see it, but can be hard to define.
Instead of focus on what you think sounds the best to admissions officers, focus on what you have to say—what interests you.
2. Having Unique Ideas
The best ideas come about while you're writing.
You can't just sit down and say, "I'll think really hard of good essay ideas."
I wish that worked, but it sadly doesn't. And neither do most brainstorming questions.
The ideas you come up with from these surface-level tactics are cheap, because no effort was put in.
As they say,
"Writing is thinking"
By choosing a general topic (e.g. my leadership experience in choir) and writing on it, you'll naturally come to ideas.
As you write, continue asking yourself questions that make you reflect.
It is more of an artistic process than technical one, so you'll have to feel what ideas are most interesting.
25 Common App Essay Examples from Top Schools
With that, here's 25 examples as Common App essay inspiration to get you started.
These examples aren't perfect—nor should you expect yours to be—but they are stand-out essays.
I've handpicked these examples of personal statements from admitted students because they showcase a variety of topics and writing levels.
These students got into top schools and Ivy League colleges in recent years:
Table of Contents
- 1. Seeds of Immigration
- 2. Color Guard
- 3. Big Eater
- 4. Love for Medicine
- 5. Cultural Confusion
- 6. Football Manager
- 9. Mountaineering
- 10. Boarding School
- 11. My Father
- 12. DMV Trials
- 13. Ice Cream Fridays
- 14. Key to Happiness
- 15. Discovering Passion
- 16. Girl Things
- 17. Robotics
- 18. Lab Research
- 19. Carioca Dance
- 20. Chinese Language
- 21. Kiki's Delivery Service
- 22. Museum of Life
- 23. French Horn
- 24. Dear My Younger Self
- 25. Monopoly
Common App Essay Example #1: Seeds of Immigration
This student was admitted to Dartmouth College . In this Common App essay, they discuss their immigrant family background that motivates them.
Although family is a commonly used topic, this student makes sure to have unique ideas and write in a genuine way.
Common App Prompt #1: Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story. (250-650 words)
I placed three tiny seeds, imagining the corn stalk growing while the pumpkin vines wrapped around it; both sprouting, trying to bear fruit. I clenched a fistful of dirt and placed it on them. “Más,” my grandpa told me as he quickly flooded the seeds with life-giving dirt.
Covered. Completely trapped.
Why This Essay Works:
Everyone has a unique family history and story, and often that can make for a strong central theme of a personal statement. In this essay, the student does a great job of sharing aspects of his family's culture by using specific Spanish words like "yunta" and by describing their unique immigration story. Regardless of your background, sharing your culture and what it means to you can be a powerful tool for reflection.
This student focuses on reflecting on what their culture and immigrant background means to them. By focusing on what something represents, rather than just what it literally is, you can connect to more interesting ideas. This essay uses the metaphor of their family's history as farmers to connect to their own motivation for succeeding in life.
This essay has an overall tone of immense gratitude, by recognizing the hard work that this student's family has put in to afford them certain opportunities. By recognizing the efforts of others in your life—especially efforts which benefit you—you can create a powerful sense of gratitude. Showing gratitude is effective because it implies that you'll take full advantage of future opportunities (such as college) and not take them for granted. This student also demonstrates a mature worldview, by recognizing the difficulty in their family's past and how things easily could have turned out differently for this student.
This essay uses three moments of short, one-sentence long paragraphs. These moments create emphasis and are more impactful because they standalone. In general, paragraph breaks are your friend and you should use them liberally because they help keep the reader engaged. Long, dense paragraphs are easy to gloss over and ideas can lose focus within them. By using a variety of shorter and longer paragraphs (as well as shorter and longer sentences) you can create moments of emphasis and a more interesting structure.
What They Might Improve:
This conclusion is somewhat off-putting because it focuses on "other students" rather than the author themself. By saying it "fills me with pride" for having achieved without the same advantages, it could create the tone of "I'm better than those other students" which is distasteful. In general, avoid putting down others (unless they egregiously deserve it) and even subtle phrasings that imply you're better than others could create a negative tone. Always approach your writing with an attitude of optimism, understanding, and err on the side of positivity.
Common App Essay Example #2: Color Guard
This student was admitted to the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill . Check out their Common App essay that focuses on an extracurricular:
Sweaty from the hot lights, the feeling of nervousness and excitement return as I take my place on the 30-yard line. For 10 short minutes, everyone is watching me. The first note of the opening song begins, and I’m off. Spinning flags, tossing rifles, and dancing across the football field. Being one of only two people on the colorguard means everyone will see everything. It’s amazing and terrifying. And just like that, the performance is over.
Flashback to almost four years ago, when I walked into the guard room for the first time. I saw flyers for a “dance/flag team” hanging in the bland school hallway, and because I am a dancer, I decided to go. This was not a dance team at all. Spinning flags and being part of the marching band did not sound like how I wanted to spend my free time. After the first day, I considered not going back. But, for some unknown reason, I stayed. And after that, I began to fall in love with color guard. It is such an unknown activity, and maybe that’s part of what captivated me. How could people not know about something so amazing? I learned everything about flags and dancing in that year. And something interesting happened- I noticed my confidence begin to grow. I had never thought I was that good at anything, there was always someone better. However, color guard was something I truly loved, and I was good at it.
The next year, I was thrown into an interesting position. Our current captain quit in the middle of the season, and I was named the new captain of a team of six. At first, this was quite a daunting task. I was only a sophomore, and I was supposed to lead people two years older than me? Someone must’ve really believed in me. Being captain sounded impossible to me at first, but I wouldn’t let that stop me from doing my best. This is where my confidence really shot up. I learned how to be a captain. Of course I was timid at first, but slowly, I began to become a true leader.
The next marching season, it paid off. I choreographed many pieces of our show, and helped teach the other part of my guard, which at the time was only one other person. Having a small guard, we had to be spectacular, especially for band competitions. We ended up winning first place and second place trophies, something that had never been done before at our school, especially for such a small guard. That season is still one of my favorite memories. The grueling hours of learning routines, making changes, and learning how to be a leader finally paid off.
Looking back on it as I exit the field after halftime once again, I am so proud of myself. Not only has color guard helped the band succeed, I’ve also grown. I am now confident in what my skills are. Of course there is always more to be done, but I now I have the confidence to share my ideas, which is something I can’t say I had before color guard. Every Friday night we perform, I think about the growth I’ve made, and I feel on top of the world. That feeling never gets old.
Common App Essay Example #3: Big Eater
This Common App essay is a successful Northwestern essay from an admitted student. It has a unique take using the topic of eating habits—an example of how "mundane" topics can make for interesting ideas.
This essay uses their relationship with food to explore how their perspective has changed through moving high schools far away. Having a central theme is often a good strategy because it allows you to explore ideas while making them feel connected and cohesive. This essay shows how even a "simple" topic like food can show a lot about your character because you can extrapolate what it represents, rather than just what it literally is. With every topic, you can analyze on two levels: what it literally is, and what it represents.
Admissions officers want to get a sense of who you are, and one way to convey that is by using natural-sounding language and being somewhat informal. In this essay, the student writes as they'd speak, which creates a "voice" that you as the reader can easily hear. Phrases like "I kind of got used to it" may be informal, but work to show a sense of character. Referring to their parents as "Ma" and "Papa" also bring the reader into their world. If you come from a non-English speaking country or household, it can also be beneficial to use words from your language, such as "chiemo" in this essay. Using foreign language words helps share your unique culture with admissions.
Rather than "telling" the reader what they have to say, this student does a great job of "showing" them through specific imagery and anecdotes. Using short but descriptive phrases like "whether it was a sum or Sam the bully" are able to capture bigger ideas in a more memorable way. Showing your points through anecdotes and examples is always more effective than simply telling them, because showing allows the reader to come to their own conclusion, rather than having to believe what you're saying.
This student's first language is not English, which does make it challenging to express ideas with the best clarity. Although this student does an overall great job in writing despite this hindrance, there are moments where their ideas are not easily understood. In particular, when discussing substance addiction, it isn't clear: Was the student's relationship with food a disorder, or was that a metaphor? When drafting your essay, focus first on expressing your points as clearly and plainly as possible (it's harder than you may think). Simplicity is often better, but if you'd like, afterwards you can add creative details and stylistic changes.
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Common App Essay Example #4: Love for Medicine
Here's another Common App essay which is an accepted Dartmouth essay . This student talks about their range of experiences as an emergency medical responder:
I never knew I had the courage to talk a suicidal sixteen-year-old boy down from the edge of a bridge, knowing that he could jump and take his life at any moment.
I never knew I had the confidence to stand my ground and defend my treatment plan to those who saw me as less than capable because of my age or gender.
This essay has lots of detailed moments and descriptions. These anecdotes help back up their main idea by showing, rather than just telling. It's always important to include relevant examples because they are the "proof in the pudding" for what you're trying to say.
This topic deals with a lot of sensitive issues, and at certain points the writing could be interpreted as insensitive or not humble. It's especially important when writing about tragedies that you focus on others, rather than yourself. Don't try to play up your accomplishments or role; let them speak for themselves. By doing so, you'll actually achieve what you're trying to do: create an image of an honorable and inspirational person.
This essay touches on a lot of challenging and difficult moments, but it lacks a deep level of reflection upon those moments. When analyzing your essay, ask yourself: what is the deepest idea in it? In this case, there are some interesting ideas (e.g. "when they were on my stretcher, socioeconomic status...fell away"), but they are not fully developed or fleshed out.
Common App Essay Example #5: Cultural Confusion
This student's Common App was accepted to Pomona College , among other schools. Although this essay uses a common topic of discussing cultural background, this student writes a compelling take.
This student uses the theme of cultural confusion to explain their interests and identity:
Common App Essay Example #6: Football Manager
Here's a UPenn essay that worked for the Common App:
This essay has lighthearted moments in it, such as recognizing how being a football manager "does not sound glamorous" and how "we managers go by many names: watergirls..." Using moments of humor can be appropriate for contrasting with moments of serious reflection. Being lighthearted also shows a sense of personality and that you are able to take things with stride.
The reflections in this essay are far too generic overall and ultimately lack meaning because they are unspecific. Using buzzwords like "hard work" and "valuable lessons" comes off as unoriginal, so avoid using them at all costs. Your reflections need to be specific to you to be most meaningful. If you could (in theory) pluck out sentences from your essay and drop them into another student's essay, then chances are those sentences are not very insightful. Your ideas should be only have been able to been written by you: specific to your experiences, personal in nature, and show deep reflection.
Although this essay uses the topic of "being a football manager," by the end of the essay it isn't clear what that role even constitutes. Avoid over-relying on other people or other's ideas when writing your essay. That is, most of the reflections in this essay are based on what the author witnessed the football team doing, rather than what they experienced for themselves in their role. Focus on your own experiences first, and be as specific and tangible as possible when describing your ideas. Rather than saying "hard work," show that hard work through an anecdote.
More important than your stories is the "So what?" behind them. Avoid writing stories that don't have a clear purpose besides "setting the scene." Although most fiction writing describes people and places as exposition, for your essays you want to avoid that unless it specifically contributes to your main point. In this essay, the first two paragraphs are almost entirely unnecessary, as the point of them can be captured in one sentence: "I joined to be a football manager one summer." The details of how that happened aren't necessary because they aren't reflected upon.
In typical academic writing, we're taught to "tell them what you're going to tell them" before telling them. But for college essays, every word is highly valuable. Avoid prefacing your statements and preparing the reader for them. Instead of saying "XYZ would prove to be an unforgettable experience," just dive right into the experience itself. Think of admissions officers as "being in a rush," and give them what they want: your interesting ideas and experiences.
Common App Essay Example #7: Coffee
This student was admitted to several selective colleges, including Emory University, Northwestern University , Tufts University, and the University of Southern California . Here's their Common Application they submitted to these schools:
I was 16 years old, and working at a family-owned coffee shop training other employees to pour latte art. Making coffee became an artistic outlet that I never had before. I always loved math, but once I explored the complexities of coffee, I began to delve into a more creative realm--photography and writing--and exposed myself to the arts--something foreign and intriguing.
This essay uses coffee as a metaphor for this student's self-growth, especially in dealing with the absence of their father. Showing the change of their relationship with coffee works well as a structure because it allows the student to explore various activities and ideas while making them seem connected.
This student does a great job of including specifics, such as coffee terminology ("bloom the grounds" and "pour a swan"). Using specific and "nerdy" language shows your interests effectively. Don't worry if they won't understand all the references exactly, as long as there is context around them.
While coffee is the central topic, the author also references their father extensively throughout. It isn't clear until the conclusion how these topics relate, which makes the essay feel disjointed. In addition, there is no strong main idea, but instead a few different ideas. In general, it is better to focus on one interesting idea and delve deeply, rather than focus on many and be surface-level.
Near the conclusion, this student tells about their character: "humble, yet important, simple, yet complex..." You should avoid describing yourself to admissions officers, as it is less convincing. Instead, use stories, anecdotes, and ideas to demonstrate these qualities. For example, don't say "I'm curious," but show them by asking questions. Don't say, "I'm humble," but show them with how you reacted after a success or failure.
Common App Essay Example #8: Chicago
Here's another Northwestern essay . Northwestern is a quite popular school with lots of strong essay-focused applicants, which makes your "Why Northwestern?" essay important.
To write a strong Why Northwestern essay, try to answer these questions: What does NU represent to you? What does NU offer for you (and your interests) that other schools don't?
This essay uses a variety of descriptive and compelling words, without seeming forced or unnatural. It is important that you use your best vocabulary, but don't go reaching for a thesaurus. Instead, use words that are the most descriptive, while remaining true to how you'd actually write.
This essay is one big metaphor: the "L" train serves as a vehicle to explore this student's intellectual curiosity. Throughout the essay, the student also incorporates creative metaphors like "the belly of a gargantuan silver beast" and "seventy-five cent silver chariot" that show a keen sense of expression. If a metaphor sounds like one you've heard before, you probably shouldn't use it.
This student does a fantastic job of naturally talking about their activities. By connecting their activities to a common theme—in this case the "L" train—you can more easily move from one activity to the next, without seeming like you're just listing activities. This serves as an engaging way of introducing your extracurriculars and achievements, while still having the focus of your essay be on your interesting ideas.
Admissions officers are ultimately trying to get a sense of who you are. This student does a great job of taking the reader into their world. By sharing quirks and colloquialisms (i.e. specific language you use), you can create an authentic sense of personality.
Common App Essay Example #9: Mountaineering
Here's a liberal arts college Common App essay from Colby College . Colby is a highly ranked liberal arts college.
As with all colleges—but especially liberal arts schools—your personal essay will be a considerable factor.
In this essay, the student describes their experience climbing Mount Adams, and the physical and logistical preparations that went into it. They describe how they overcame some initial setbacks by using their organizational skills from previous expeditions.
This Colby student explains how the process of preparation can lead to success in academics and other endeavours, but with the potential for negative unintended consequences.
Common App Prompt #2: The lessons we take from obstacles we encounter can be fundamental to later success. Recount a time when you faced a challenge, setback, or failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience? (250-650 words)
This essay does a great job of having a cohesive theme: mountaineering. Often times, great essay topics can be something simple on the surface, such as your favorite extracurricular activity or a notable experience. Consider using the literal activity as a sort of metaphor, like this essay does. This student uses mountaineering as a metaphor for preparation in the face of upcoming challenge. Using an overarching metaphor along with a central theme can be effective because it allows you to explore various ideas while having them all feel connected and cohesive.
Admissions officers want to see your self-growth, which doesn't always mean your successes. Often times, being vulnerable by expressing your struggles is powerful because it makes you more human and relatable, while providing the opportunity to reflect on what you learned. The best lessons from come failures, and writing about challenge can also make your later successes feel more impactful. Everyone loves to hear an underdog or zero-to-hero story. But counterintuitively, your failures are actually more important than your successes.
This essay has some nice ideas about focusing only on what's in your control: your attitude and your effort. However, these ideas are ultimately somewhat generic as they have been used countless times in admissions essays. Although ideas like this can be a good foundation, you should strive to reach deeper ideas. Deeper ideas are ones that are specific to you, unique, and interesting. You can reach deeper ideas by continually asking yourself "How" and "Why" questions that cause you to think deeper about a topic. Don't be satisfied with surface-level reflections. Think about what they represent more deeply, or how you can connect to other ideas or areas of your life.
Common App Essay Example #10: Boarding School
This personal essay was accepted to Claremont McKenna College . See how this student wrote a vulnerable essay about boarding school experience and their family relationship:
I began attending boarding school aged nine.
Obviously, this is not particularly unusual – my school dorms were comprised of boys and girls in the same position as me. However, for me it was difficult – or perhaps it was for all of us; I don’t know. We certainly never discussed it.
I felt utterly alone, as though my family had abruptly withdrawn the love and support thatI so desperately needed. At first, I did try to open up to them during weekly phone calls, but what could they do? As months slipped by, the number of calls reduced. I felt they had forgotten me. Maybe they felt I had withdrawn from them. A vast chasm of distance was cracking open between us.
At first, I shared my hurt feelings with my peers, who were amazingly supportive, but there was a limit to how much help they could offer. After a while, I realized that by opening up, I was burdening them, perhaps even irritating them. The feelings I was sharing should have been reserved for family. So, I withdrew into myself. I started storing up my emotions and became a man of few words. In the classroom or on the sports field, people saw a self-confident and cheerful character, but behind that facade was someone who yearned for someone to understand him and accept him as he was.
Years went past.
Then came the phone call which was about to change my life. “Just come home Aryan, it’s really important!” My mother’s voice was odd, brittle. I told her I had important exams the following week, so needed to study. “Aryan, why don’t you listen to me? There is no other option, okay? You are coming home.”
Concerned, I arranged to fly home. When I got there, my sister didn’t say hi to me, my grandmother didn’t seem overly enthusiastic to see me and my mother was nowhere to be seen. I wanted to be told why I was called back so suddenly just to be greeted as though I wasn’t even welcome.
Then my mother then came out of her room and saw me. To my immense incredulity, she ran to me and hugged me, and started crying in my arms.
Then came the revelation, “Your father had a heart attack.”
My father. The man I hadn’t really talked to in years. A man who didn’t even know who I was anymore. I’d spent so long being disappointed in him and suspecting he was disappointed in me, I sunk under a flood of emotions.
I opened the door to his room and there he was sitting on his bed with a weak smile on his face. I felt shaken to my core. All at once it was clear to me how self-centered I had become. A feeling of humiliation engulfed me, but finally I realized that rather than wallow in it, I needed to appreciate I was not alone in having feelings.
I remained at home that week. I understood that my family needed me. I worked with my uncle to ensure my family business was running smoothly and often invited relatives or friends over to cheer my father up.
Most importantly, I spent time with my family. It had been years since I’d last wanted to do this – I had actively built the distance between us – but really, I’d never stopped craving it. Sitting together in the living room, I realized how badly I needed them.
Seeing happiness in my father’s eyes, I felt I was finally being the son he had always needed me to be: A strong, capable young man equipped to take over the family business if need be.
Common App Essay Example #11: My Father
This Cornell University essay is an example of writing about a tragedy, which can be a tricky topic to write about well.
Family and tragedy essays are a commonly used topic, so it can be harder to come up with a unique essay idea using these topics.
Let me know what you think of this essay for Cornell:
My father was wise, reserved, hardworking, and above all, caring. I idolized his humility and pragmatism, and I cherish it today. But after his death, I was emotionally raw. I could barely get through class without staving off a breakdown.
Writing about tragedy, such as the loss of a loved one, is a tricky topic because it has been used countless times in college admissions. It is difficult to not come off as a "victim" or that you're trying to garner sympathy by using the topic (i.e. a "sob story"). This essay does a great job of writing about a personal tragedy in a meaningful and unique way by connecting to values and ideas, rather than staying focused on what literally happened. By connecting tragedy to lessons and takeaways, you can show how—despite the difficulty and sorrow—you have gained something positive from it, however small that may be. Don't write about personal tragedy because you think "you should." As with any topic, only write about it if you have a meaningful point to make.
This essay is effective at making the reader feel the similar emotions as the author does and in bringing the reader into their "world." Even small remarks like noting the the "firsts" without their loved one are powerful because it is relatable and something that is apparent, but not commonly talked about. Using short phrases like "That was it. No goodbye, no I love you..." create emphasis and again a sense of relatability. As the reader, you can vividly imagine how the author must have felt during these moments. The author also uses questions, such as "What did I last say to him?" which showcase their thought process, another powerful way to bring the reader into your world.
Admissions officers are looking for self-growth, which can come in a variety of forms. Showing a new perspective is one way to convey that you've developed over time, learned something new, or gained new understanding or appreciation. In this essay, the student uses the "sticker of a black and white eye" to represent how they viewed their father differently before and after his passing. By using a static, unchanging object like this, and showing how you now view it differently over time, you convey a change in perspective that can make for interesting reflections.
Common App Essay Example #12: DMV Trials
Here's a funny Common App essay from a Northwestern admitted student about getting their driver's license.
This topic has been used before—as many "topics" have—but what's important is having a unique take or idea.
What do you think of this Northwestern essay ?
Breath, Emily, breath. I drive to the exit and face a four-lane roadway. “Turn left,” my passenger says.
On July 29, [Date] , I finally got my license. After the April debacle, I practiced driving almost every week. I learned to stop at stop signs and look both ways before crossing streets, the things I apparently didn’t know how to do during my first two tests. When pulling into the parking lot with the examiner for the last time, a wave of relief washed over me.
This essay does a good job of having a compelling narrative. By setting the scene descriptively, it is easy to follow and makes for a pleasant reading experience. However, avoid excessive storytelling, as it can overshadow your reflections, which are ultimately most important.
This essay has some moments where the author may come off as being overly critical, of either themselves or of others. Although it is okay (and good) to recognize your flaws, you don't want to portray yourself in a negative manner. Avoid being too negative, and instead try to find the positive aspects when possible.
More important than your stories is the answer to "So what?" and why they matter. Avoid writing a personal statement that is entirely story-based, because this leaves little room for reflection and to share your ideas. In this essay, the reflections are delayed to the end and not as developed as they could be.
In this essay, it comes across that failure is negative. Although the conclusion ultimately has a change of perspective in that "failure is inevitable and essential to moving forward," it doesn't address that failure is ultimately a positive thing. Admissions officers want to see failure and your challenges, because overcoming those challenges is what demonstrates personal growth.
Common App Essay Example #13: Ice Cream Fridays
This Columbia essay starts off with a vulnerable moment of running for school president. The student goes on to show their growth through Model UN, using detailed anecdotes and selected moments.
My fascination with geopolitical and economic issues were what kept me committed to MUN. But by the end of sophomore year, the co-presidents were fed up. “Henry, we know how hard you try, but there are only so many spots for each conference...” said one. “You’re wasting space, you should quit,” said the other.
This essay has a compelling story, starting from this author's early struggles with public speaking and developing into their later successes with Model UN. Using a central theme—in this case public speaking—is an effective way of creating a cohesive essay. By having a main idea, you can tie in multiple moments or achievements without them coming across unrelated.
This student talks about their achievements with a humble attitude. To reference your successes, it's equally important to address your failures. By expressing your challenges, it will make your later achievements seem more impactful in contrast. This student also is less "me-focused" and instead is interested in others dealing with the same struggles. By connecting to people in your life, values, or interesting ideas, you can reference your accomplishments without coming off as bragging.
This essay has moments of reflection, such as "math and programming made sense... people didn't". However, most of these ideas are cut short, without going much deeper. When you strike upon a potentially interesting idea, keep going with it. Try to explain the nuances, or broaden your idea to more universal themes. Find what is most interesting about your experience and share that with admissions.
Stories are important, but make sure all your descriptions are critical for the story. In this essay, the author describes things that don't add to the story, such as the appearance of other people or what they were wearing. These ultimately don't relate to their main idea—overcoming public speaking challenges—and instead are distracting.
Common App Essay Example #14: Key to Happiness
Here's a Brown University application essay that does a great job of a broad timeline essay. This student shows the change in their thinking and motivations over a period of time, which makes for an interesting topic.
Let me know what you think of this Brown essay:
Common App Prompt #3: Reflect on a time when you questioned or challenged a belief or idea. What prompted your thinking? What was the outcome? (250-650 words)
This student's first language is not English, which provides some insight into why the phrasing may not seem as natural or show as much personality. Admissions officers are holistic in determining who to admit, meaning they take into account many different factors when judging your essays. While this essay may not be the strongest, the applicant probably had other qualities or "hooks" that helped them get accepted, such as awards, activities, unique background, etc. Plus, there is some leniency granted to students who don't speak English as their first language, because writing essays in a foreign language is tough in and of itself.
It's good to be confident in your achievements, but you don't want to come across as boastful or self-assured. In this essay, some of the phrasing such as "when I was the best at everything" seems exaggerated and is off-putting. Instead of boosting your accomplishments, write about them in a way that almost "diminishes" them. Connect your achievements to something bigger than you: an interesting idea, a passionate cause, another person or group. By not inflating your achievements, you'll come across more humble and your achievements will actually seem more impactful. We all have heard of a highly successful person who thinks "it's no big deal," which actually makes their talents seem far more impressive.
This essay has some takeaways and reflections, as your essay should too, but ultimately these ideas are unoriginal and potentially cliché. Ideas like "what makes you happy is pursing your passion" are overused and have been heard thousands of times by admissions officers. Instead, focus on getting to unique and "deep" ideas: ideas that are specific to you and that have meaningful implications. It's okay to start off with more surface-level ideas, but you want to keep asking questions to yourself like "Why" and "How" to push yourself to think deeper. Try making connections, asking what something represents more broadly, or analyzing something from a different perspective.
You don't need to preface your ideas in your essay. Don't say things like "I later found out this would be life-changing, and here's why." Instead, just jump into the details that are most compelling. In this essay, there are moments that seem repetitive and redundant because they don't add new ideas and instead restate what's already been said in different words. When editing your essay, be critical of every sentence (and even words) by asking: Does this add something new to my essay? Does it have a clear, distinct purpose? If the answer is no, you should probably remove that sentence.
Common App Essay Example #15: Discovering Passion
Here's a Johns Hopkins essay that shows how the student had a change in attitude and perspective after taking a summer job at a care facility.
It may seem odd to write about your potential drawbacks or weaknesses—such as having a bad attitude towards something—but it's real and can help demonstrate personal growth.
So tell me your thoughts on this JHU Common App essay:
Common App Prompt #5: Discuss an accomplishment, event, or realization that sparked a period of personal growth and a new understanding of yourself or others. (250-650 words)
This student uses vulnerability in admitting that they held preconceived notions about the elderly before this experience. The quote introduces these preconceived notions well, while the description of how this student got their job in the care facility is also engaging.
Admission officers love to see your interactions with others. Showing how you interact reveals a lot about your character, and this essay benefits from reflecting upon the student's relationship with a particular elderly individual.
It is good to be descriptive, but only when it supports your expression of ideas. In this essay, the author uses adjectives and adverbs excessively, without introducing new ideas. Your ideas are more important than having a diverse vocabulary, and the realizations in this essay are muddled by rephrasing similar ideas using seemingly "impressive," but ultimately somewhat meaningless, vocabulary.
This essay touches on some interesting ideas, but on multiple occasions these ideas are repeated just in different phrasing. If you have already expressed an idea, don't repeat it unless you're adding something new: a deeper context, a new angle, a broadened application, etc. Ask yourself: what is the purpose of each sentence, and have I expressed it already?
It's true that almost any topic can make for a strong essay, but certain topics are trickier because they make it easy to write about overly used ideas. In this essay, the main idea can be summarized as: "I realized the elderly were worthy humans too." It touches upon more interesting ideas, such as how people can be reduced down to their afflictions rather than their true character, but the main idea is somewhat surface-level.
Common App Essay Example #16: "A Cow Gave Birth"
This Common App essay for the University of Pennsylvania centers on the theme of womanhood. Not only is it well-written, but this essay has interesting and unique ideas that relate to the student's interests.
Common App Essay Example #17: Robotics
This Common App essay was for Washington University in St. Louis .
This student writes about their experience creating and using an engineering notebook to better document their robotics progress. They share the story of how their dedication and perseverance led to winning awards and qualifying for the national championships.
Lastly, they reflect on the importance of following one's passions in life and decision to pursue a business degree instead of a engineering one.
This essay touches on various lessons that they've learned as a result of their experience doing robotics. However, these lessons are ultimately surface-level and generic, such as "I embraced new challenges." Although these could be a starting point for deeper ideas, on their own they come off as unoriginal and overused. Having interesting ideas is what makes an essay the most compelling, and you need to delve deeply into reflection, past the surface-level takeaways. When drafting and brainstorming, keep asking yourself questions like "How" and "Why" to dig deeper. Ask "What does this represent? How does it connect to other things? What does this show about myself/the world/society/etc.?"
Although this essay is focused on "VEX robotics," the details of what that activity involves are not elaborated. Rather than focusing on the surface-level descriptions like "We competed and won," it would be more engaging to delve into the details. What did your robot do? How did you compete? What were the specific challenges in "lacking building materials"? Use visuals and imagery to create a more engaging picture of what you were doing.
The hook and ending sentences of "drifting off to sleep" feel arbitrary and not at all connected to any ideas throughout the essay. Instead, it comes off as a contrived choice to create a "full circle" essay. Although coming full circle is often a good strategy, there should be a specific purpose in doing so. For your intro, try using a short sentence that creates emphasis on something interesting. For the conclusion, try using similar language to the intro, expanding upon your ideas to more universal takeaways, or connecting back to previous ideas with a new nuance.
Common App Essay Example #18: Lab Research
Common app essay example #19: carioca dance.
Having a natural-sounding style of writing can be a great way of conveying personality. This student does a fantastic job of writing as they'd speak, which lets admissions officers create a clear "image" of who you are in their head. By writing naturally and not robotically, you can create a "voice" and add character to your essay.
This student chooses a unique activity, the Carioca drill, as their main topic. By choosing a "theme" like this, it allows you to easily and naturally talk about other activities too, without seeming like you're simply listing activities. This student uses the Carioca as a metaphor for overcoming difficulties and relates it to their other activities and academics—public speaking and their job experience.
Showing a sense of humor can indicate wit, which not only makes you seem more likeable, but also conveys self-awareness. By not always taking yourself 100% seriously, you can be more relatable to the reader. This student acknowledges their struggles in conjunction with using humor ("the drills were not named after me—'Saads'"), which shows a recognition that they have room to improve, while not being overly self-critical.
Common App Essay Example #20: Chinese Language
The list of languages that Lincoln offered startled me. “There’s so many,” I thought, “Latin, Spanish, Chinese, and French.”
As soon as I stepped off the plane, and set my eyes upon the beautiful city of Shanghai, I fell in love. In that moment, I had an epiphany. China was made for me, and I wanted to give it all my first; first job and first apartment.
Using creative metaphors can be an effective way of conveying ideas. In this essay, the metaphor of "Chinese characters...were the names of my best friends" tells a lot about this student's relationship with the language. When coming up with metaphors, a good rule of thumb is: if you've heard it before, don't use it. Only use metaphors that are specific, make sense for what you're trying to say, and are highly unique.
Whenever you "tell" something, you should try and back it up with anecdotes, examples, or experiences. Instead of saying that "I made conversation," this student exemplifies it by listing who they talked to. Showing is always going to be more compelling than telling because it allows the reader to come to the conclusion on their own, which makes them believe it much stronger. Use specific, tangible examples to back up your points and convince the reader of what you're saying.
Although this essay has reflections, they tend to be more surface-level, rather than unique and compelling. Admissions officers have read thousands of application essays and are familiar with most of the ideas students write about. To stand out, you'll need to dive deeper into your ideas. To do this, keep asking yourself questions whenever you have an interesting idea. Ask "Why" and "How" repeatedly until you reach something that is unique, specific to you, and super interesting.
Avoid writing a conclusion that only "sounds nice," but lacks real meaning. Often times, students write conclusions that go full circle, or have an interesting quote, but they still don't connect to the main idea of the essay. Your conclusion should be your strongest, most interesting idea. It should say something new: a new perspective, a new takeaway, a new aspect of your main point. End your essay strongly by staying on topic, but taking your idea one step further to the deepest it can go.
Common App Essay Example #21: Kiki's Delivery Service
Common App Prompt #6: Describe a topic, idea, or concept you find so engaging that it makes you lose all track of time. Why does it captivate you? What or who do you turn to when you want to learn more? (250-650 words)
I spent much of my childhood watching movies. I became absolutely engrossed in many different films, TV shows, and animations. From the movie theatres to the TV, I spent my hours enjoying the beauty of visual media. One place that was special to me was the car. My parents purchased a special screen that could be mounted on the back of the headrest, so that I could watch movies on trips. This benefited both parties, as I was occupied, and they had peace. Looking back, I realize this screen played a crucial role in my childhood. It was an integral part of many journeys. I remember taking a drive to Washington D.C, with my visiting relatives from Poland, and spending my time with my eyes on the screen. I remember packing up my possessions and moving to my current home from Queens, watching my cartoons the whole time. I can comfortably say that watching movies in the car has been an familiar anchor during times of change in my life.
I used to watch many different cartoons, nature documentaries, and other products in the car, yet there has been one movie that I have rewatched constantly. It is called “Kiki’s Delivery Service” by Hayao Miyazaki. My parents picked it up at a garage sale one day, and I fell in love. The style of the animations were beautiful, and the captivating story of a thirteen year old witch leaving home really appealed to me. To be honest, the initial times I watched it, I didn’t fully understand the story but the magic and beauty just made me happy. Then, the more I watched it, I began to see that it was more about independence, including the need to get away from home and establish yourself as your own person. This mirrors how I felt during that period of my life,with mehaving a little rebellious streak; I didn’t agree with my parents on certain topics. That is not the end of the story though. As the years passed, and I watched it a couple more times, although with less frequency than before, my view of this movie evolved yet again.
Instead of solely thinking about the need for independence, I began to think the movie was more about the balance of independence and reliance. In the movie, the girl finds herself struggling until she begins to accept help from others. Looking back, this also follows my own philosophy during this time. As I began to mature, I began to realize the value of family, and accept all the help I can get from them. I appreciate all the hard work they had done for me, and I recognize their experience in life and take advantage of it. I passed through my rebellious phase, and this reflected in my analysis of the movie. I believe that this is common, and if I look through the rest of my life I am sure I would find other similar examples of my thoughts evolving based on the stage in my life. This movie is one of the most important to me throughout my life.
Common App Essay Example #22: Museum of Life
Using visuals can be a way to add interesting moments to your essay. Avoid being overly descriptive, however, as it can be distracting from your main point. When drafting, start by focusing on your ideas (your reflections and takeaways). Once you have a rough draft, then you can consider ways to incorporate imagery that can add character and flavor to your essay.
Admissions officers are people, just like you, and therefore are drawn to personalities that exhibit positive qualities. Some of the most important qualities to portray are: humility, curiosity, thoughtfulness, and passion. In this essay, there are several moments that could be interpreted as potentially self-centered or arrogant. Avoid trying to make yourself out to be "better" or "greater" than other people. Instead, focus on having unique and interesting ideas first, and this will show you as a likeable, insightful person. Although this is a "personal" statement, you should also avoid over using "I" in your essay. When you have lots of "I" sentences, it starts to feel somewhat ego-centric, rather than humble and interested in something greater than you.
This essay does a lot of "telling" about the author's character. Instead, you want to provide evidence—through examples, anecdotes, and moments—that allow the reader to come to their own conclusions about who you are. Avoid surface-level takeaways like "I am open-minded and have a thirst for knowledge." These types of statements are meaningless because anyone can write them. Instead, focus on backing up your points by "showing," and then reflect genuinely and deeply on those topics.
This essay is focused on art museums and tries to tie in a connection to studying medicine. However, because this connection is very brief and not elaborated, the connection seems weak. To connect to your area of study when writing about a different topic, try reflecting on your topic first. Go deep into interesting ideas by asking "How" and "Why" questions. Then, take those ideas and broaden them. Think of ways they could differ or parallel your desired area of study. The best connections between a topic (such as an extracurricular) and your area of study (i.e. your major) is through having interesting ideas.
Common App Essay Example #23: French Horn
This student chose the creative idea of personifying their French horn as their central theme. Using this personification, they are able to write about a multitude of moments while making them all feel connected. This unique approach also makes for a more engaging essay, as it is not overly straightforward and generic.
It can be challenging to reference your achievements without seeming boastful or coming across too plainly. This student manages to write about their successes ("acceptance into the Julliard Pre-College program") by using them as moments part of a broader story. The focus isn't necessarily on the accomplishments themselves, but the role they play in this relationship with their instrument. By connecting more subtly like this, it shows humility. Often, "diminishing" your achievements will actually make them stand out more, because it shows you're focused on the greater meaning behind them, rather than just "what you did."
This student does a good job of exemplifying each of their ideas. Rather than just saying "I experienced failure," they show it through imagery ("dried lips, cracked notes, and missed entrances"). Similarly, with their idea "no success comes without sacrifice," they exemplify it using examples of sacrifice. Always try to back up your points using examples, because showing is much more convincing than telling. Anyone can "tell" things, but showing requires proof.
This essay has a decent conclusion, but it could be stronger by adding nuance to their main idea or connecting to the beginning with a new perspective. Rather than repeating what you've established previously, make sure your conclusion has a different "angle" or new aspect. This can be connecting your main idea to more universal values, showing how you now view something differently, or emphasizing a particular aspect of your main idea that was earlier introduced.
Common App Essay Example #24: Dear My Younger Self
Common App Prompt #7: Share an essay on any topic of your choice. It can be one you've already written, one that responds to a different prompt, or one of your own design. (250-650 words)
Younger Anna,
- Don’t live your life as if you're constantly being watched and criticized. Chances are, no one is even paying attention to you.
- Wear your retainer.
- Empathy makes your life easier. People who are inexplicably cruel are suffering just as much as the recipients of their abuse. Understanding this makes your interactions with these people less painful.
- Comparing yourself to your classmates is counterproductive. Sometimes you will forge ahead, other times you will lag behind. But ultimately, you’re only racing yourself.
- Speak up to your stepmom.
- Always eat the cake. I couldn't tell you how many times I’ve turned away a slice of cake, only to regret it the next day. If you really can’t commit, do yourself a favor and take a slice home with you.
- Cherish your grandparents.
- Forgive your mother. Harboring resentment hurts you just as much as her. All the time I spent being angry at her could’ve been spent discovering her strengths.
This essay chose a unique structure in the form of a letter addressed to themselves with a list of lessons they've learned. This structure is unique, and also allows the student to explore a variety of topics and ideas while making them all feel connected. It is tricky to not seem "gimmicky" when choosing a creative structure like this, but the key is to make your essay well thought-out. Show that you've put effort into reflecting deeply, and that you aren't choosing a unique structure just to stand out.
This essay is highly focused on lessons they've learned, which shows a deep level of reflection. Your ideas and takeaways from life experience are ultimately most compelling to admissions officers, and this essay succeeds because it is focused almost entirely on those reflections. This student also manages to incorporate anecdotes and mini stories where appropriate, which makes their reflections more memorable by being tangible.
Showing humility and self-awareness are two highly attractive traits in college admissions. Being able to recognize your own flaws and strengths, while not making yourself out to be more than what you are, shows that you are mature and thoughtful. Avoid trying to "boost yourself up" by exaggerating your accomplishments or over-emphasizing your strengths. Instead, let your ideas speak for themselves, and by focusing on genuine, meaningful ideas, you'll convey a persona that is both humble and insightful.
The drawback of having a structure like this, where lots of different ideas are examined, is that no one idea is examined in-depth. As a result, some ideas (such as "intelligence is not defined by your grades") come across as trite and overused. In general, avoid touching on lots of ideas while being surface-level. Instead, it's almost always better to choose a handful (or even just one main idea) and go as in-depth as possible by continually asking probing questions—"How" and "Why"—that force yourself to think deeper and be more critical. Having depth of ideas shows inquisitiveness, thoughtfulness, and ultimately are more interesting because they are ideas that only you could have written.
Common App Essay Example #25: Monopoly
Feeling a bit weary from my last roll of the dice, I cross my fingers with the “FREE PARKING” square in sight. As luck has it, I smoothly glide past the hotels to have my best horse show yet- earning multiple wins against stiff competition and gaining points to qualify for five different national finals this year.
This essay uses the board game "Monopoly" as a metaphor for their life. By using a metaphor as your main topic, you can connect to different ideas and activities in a cohesive way. However, make sure the metaphor isn't chosen arbitrarily. In this essay, it isn't completely clear why Monopoly is an apt metaphor for their life, because the specific qualities that make Monopoly unique aren't explained or elaborated. Lots of games require "strategy and precision, with a hint of luck and a tremendous amount of challenge," so it'd be better to focus on the unique aspects of the game to make a more clear connection. For example, moving around the board in a "repetitive" fashion, but each time you go around with a different perspective. When choosing a metaphor, first make sure that it is fitting for what you're trying to describe.
You want to avoid listing your activities or referencing them without a clear connection to something greater. Since you have an activities list already, referencing your activities in your essay should have a specific purpose, rather than just emphasizing your achievements. In this essay, the student connects their activities by connecting them to a specific idea: how each activity is like a mini challenge that they must encounter to progress in life. Make sure your activities connect to something specifically: an idea, a value, an aspect of your character.
This essay lacks depth in their reflections by not delving deeply into their main takeaways. In this essay, the main "idea" is that they've learned to be persistent with whatever comes their way. This idea could be a good starting point, but on its own is too generic and not unique enough. Your idea should be deep and specific, meaning that it should be something only you could have written about. If your takeaway could be used in another student's essay without much modification, chances are it is a surface-level takeaway and you want to go more in-depth. To go in-depth, keep asking probing questions like "How" and "Why" or try making more abstract connections between topics.
In the final two paragraphs, this essay does a lot of "telling" about the lessons they've learned. They write "I know that in moments of doubt...I can rise to the occasion." Although this could be interesting, it would be far more effective if this idea is shown through anecdotes or experiences. The previous examples in the essay don't "show" this idea. When drafting, take your ideas and think of ways you can represent them without having to state them outright. By showing your points, you will create a more engaging and convincing essay because you'll allow the reader to come to the conclusion themselves, rather than having to believe what you've told them.
What Can You Learn from These Common App Essay Examples?
With these 25 Common App essay examples, you can get inspired and improve your own personal statement.
If you want to get accepted into selective colleges this year, your Common App essays needs to be its best possible.
What makes a good Common App essay isn't easy to define. There aren't any rules or steps.
But using these samples from real students, you can understand what it takes to write an outstanding personal statement .
Let me know, which Common App essay did you think was the best?
Ryan Chiang , Founder of EssaysThatWorked.com
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Common App Essays | 7 Strong Examples with Commentary
Published on November 19, 2021 by Kirsten Courault . Revised on May 31, 2023.
If you’re applying for college via the Common App , you’ll have to write an essay in response to one of seven prompts.
Table of contents
What is the common application essay, prompt 1: background, identity, interest, or talent, prompt 2: overcoming challenges, prompt 3: questioning a belief or idea, prompt 4: appreciating an influential person, prompt 5: transformative event, prompt 6: interest or hobby that inspires learning, prompt 7: free topic, other interesting articles, frequently asked questions about college application essays.
The Common Application, or Common App , is a college application portal that is accepted by more than 900 schools.
Within the Common App is your main essay, a primary writing sample that all your prospective schools will read to evaluate your critical thinking skills and value as a student. Since this essay is read by many colleges, avoid mentioning any college names or programs. Instead, save tailored answers for the supplementary school-specific essays within the Common App.
Regardless of your prompt choice, admissions officers will look for an ability to clearly and creatively communicate your ideas based on the selected prompt.
We’ve provided seven essay examples, one for each of the Common App prompts. After each essay, we’ve provided a table with commentary on the essay’s narrative, writing style and tone, demonstrated traits, and self-reflection.
Prevent plagiarism. Run a free check.
This essay explores the student’s emotional journey toward overcoming her father’s neglect through gymnastics discipline.
Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.
When “The Devil Went Down to Georgia” began to play, it was my signal to lay out a winning floor routine. Round off. Back handspring. Double back layout. Stick!
Instead, I jolted off the floor, landing out of bounds. Over the past week, I hadn’t landed that pass once, and regionals were only seven days away. I heaved a heavy sigh and stomped over to the bench.
Coach Farkas saw my consternation. “Mona, get out of your head. You’re way too preoccupied with your tumbling passes. You could do them in your sleep!”
That was the problem. I was dreaming of tumbling and missing my landings, waking up in a cold sweat. The stress felt overwhelming.
“Stretch out. You’re done for tonight.”
I walked home from the gym that had been my second home since fourth grade. Yet my anxiety was increasing every time I practiced.
I startled my mom. “You’re home early! Wait! You walked? Mona, what’s going on?!”
I slumped down at the kitchen table. “Don’t know.”
She sat down across from me. “Does it have anything to do with your father texting you a couple of weeks ago about coming to see you at regionals?”
“So what?! Why does it matter anymore?” He walked out when I was 10 and never looked back. Still, dear ol’ Dad always had a way of resurfacing when I least expected him.
“It still matters because when you hear from him, you tend to crumble. Or have you not noticed?” She offered a knowing wink and a compassionate smile.
I started gymnastics right after Dad left. The coaches said I was a natural: short, muscular, and flexible. All I knew was that the more I improved, the more confident I felt. Gymnastics made me feel powerful, so I gave it my full energy and dedication.
The floor routine became my specialty, and my performances were soon elevating our team score. The mat, solid and stable, became a place to explore and express my internal struggles. Over the years, no matter how angry I felt, the floor mat was there to absorb my frustration.
The bars, beam, and vault were less forgiving because I knew I could fall. My performances in those events were respectable. But, the floor? Sometimes, I had wildly creative and beautiful routines, while other times were disastrous. Sadly, my floor routine had never been consistent.
That Saturday afternoon, I slipped into the empty gym and walked over to the mat. I sat down and touched its carpeted surface. After a few minutes, my cheeks were wet with the bitter disappointment of a dad who only showed up when it was convenient for him. I ruminated on the years of practices and meets where I had channeled my resentment into acrobatics and dance moves, resolved to rise higher than his indifference.
I saw then that my deepest wounds were inextricably entangled with my greatest passion. They needed to be permanently separated. While my anger had first served to launch me into gymnastics, before long, I had started serving my anger.
Anger is a cruel master. It corrupts everything it touches, even something as beautiful as a well-choreographed floor routine.
I changed my music days before regionals. “The Devil” no longer had a place in my routine. Instead, I chose an energetic cyberpunk soundtrack that inspired me to perform with passion and laser focus. Dad made an obligatory appearance at regionals, but he left before I could talk to him.
It didn’t matter this time. I stuck every landing in my routine. Anger no longer controlled me. I was finally free.
Word count: 601
The student makes a unique connection, showing how her troubled relationship with her floor routine is connected to her anger at her absent father. However, rather than focusing on her difficult past, she highlights a key moment when she overcame her anger and made peace with her relationships with her dad and with gymnastics. | |
The essay uses a conversational tone but selectively employs elevated language that fits the student’s vocabulary range. The student uses personification to illustrate her close relationship to anger and gymnastics, such as “anger is a cruel master” and “the bars, beam, and vault were less forgiving.” | |
Through showing, not telling, the student clearly demonstrates dedication, hard work, and resilience. She also displays her commitment to emotional growth and character. | |
In the final paragraphs, the student contemplates her troubled relationship with her floor routine and realizes its connection to her absent father. She explains how this insight healed her and allowed her to freely perform without anger. |
This essay shows how the challenges the student faced in caring for her sister with autism resulted in an unexpected path forward in her education.
The lessons we take from obstacles we encounter can be fundamental to later success. Recount a time when you faced a challenge, setback, or failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience?
I never had a choice.
My baby sister was born severely autistic, which meant that every detail of our home life was repeatedly adjusted to manage her condition. I couldn’t go to bed without fearing that Mindy would wake up screaming with that hoarse little voice of hers. I couldn’t have friends over on weekends because we never knew if our entire family would need to shift into crisis mode to help Mindy regain control.
We couldn’t take a family vacation because Mindy would start hitting us during a long car ride when she didn’t want to sit there anymore. We couldn’t even celebrate Christmas like a normal family because Mindy would shriek and run away when we tried to give her presents.
I was five years old when Mindy was born. For the first ten years, I did everything I could to help my mom with Mindy. But Mom was depressed and would often stare out the window, as if transfixed by the view. Dad was no help either. He used his job as an excuse to be away from home. So, I tried to make up for both of them and rescue Mindy however I could whenever she needed it.
However, one day, when I was slowly driving Mindy around with the windows down, trying to lull her into a calmer state, we passed two of my former classmates from middle school. They heard Mindy growling her disapproval as the ride was getting long for her. One of them turned to the other and announced, “Oh my God! Marabeth brought her pet monster out for a drive!” They laughed hysterically and ran down the street.
After that day, I defied my parents at every turn. I also ignored Mindy. I even stopped doing homework. I purposely “got in with the wrong crowd” and did whatever they did.
My high school counselor Ms. Martinez saw through it all. She knew my family’s situation well. It didn’t take her long to guess what had probably happened.
“Marabeth, I get it. My brother has Down syndrome. It was really hard growing up with him as a brother. The other kids were pretty mean about it, especially in high school.”
I doubted she understood. “Yeah. So?”
“I’m guessing something happened that hurt or embarrassed you.”
“I’m so sorry. I can only imagine how you must have felt.”
It must have been the way she said it because I suddenly found myself sobbing into my trembling, cupped hands.
Ms. Martinez and I met every Friday after that for the rest of the year. Her stories of how she struggled to embrace living with and loving her brother created a bridge to my pain and then my healing. She explained that her challenges led her to pursue a degree in counseling so that she could offer other people what no one had given her.
I thought that Mindy was the end of my life, but, because of Ms. Martinez’s example and kindness, I can now see that Mindy is a gift, pointing me toward my future.
Now, I’m applying to study psychology so that I can go on to earn my master’s degree in counseling. I’m learning to forgive my parents for their mistakes, and I’m back in Mindy’s life again, but this time as a sister, not a savior. My choice.
Word Count: 553
The essay has a logical flow. It starts by explaining the student’s challenges as her sister’s caretaker, describes her breaking point, and then shows how her counselor pointed her toward a new perspective and career path. It also avoids dwelling on negative details and concludes with a positive outlook and action. | |
The student’s tone is appropriately conversational to illustrate her feelings with vulnerability. | |
The essay clearly shows the student’s commitment, resilience, and sacrifice through the narrative of her caring for her sister. | |
The student reveals her honest thoughts and feelings. She also explains how her counselor helped her see her sister as a gift who motivated her to pursue a meaningful career path. |
This essay illustrates a student’s courage in challenging his culture’s constructs of manhood and changing his course while positively affecting his father in the process.
Reflect on a time when you questioned or challenged a belief or idea. What prompted your thinking? What was the outcome?
“No son of mine is gonna march around a football field wearing tail feathers while all the real men are playing football!”
I took a step backward and tried not to appear as off-balance as I felt. In my excitement, I had blurted out more information than my father could handle:
“Dad! I made the marching band as a freshman! Nobody does that—I mean nobody!”
As soon as I had said it, I wished I could recall those words. How could I forget that 26 years earlier, he had been the starting wide receiver for the state-champion Tigers on the same field?!
Still, when I opened the email on that scorching hot August afternoon, I was thrilled that five months of practicing every possible major and harmonic minor scale—two octaves up and two octaves down—had made the difference. I had busted reed after reed, trying not to puff my cheeks while moving my fingers in a precise cadence.
I knew he had heard me continually practicing in my room, yet he seemed to ignore all the parts of me that were incongruous with his vision of manhood:
Ford F-150 4x4s. Pheasant hunting. The Nebraska Cornhuskers.
I never had to wonder what he valued. For years, I genuinely shared his interests. But, in the fall of eighth grade, I heard Kyle Wheeling play a saxophone solo during the homecoming marching band halftime show. My dad took me to every football game to teach me the plays, but that night, all I could think about was Kyle’s bluesy improv at halftime.
During Thanksgiving break, I got my mom to drive me into Omaha to rent my instrument at Dietze Music, and, soon after, I started private lessons with Mr. Ken. Before long, I was spending hours in my room, exploring each nuance of my shiny Yamaha alto sax, anticipating my audition for the Marching Tigers at the end of the spring semester.
During those months of practice, I realized that I couldn’t hide my newfound interest forever, especially not from the football players who were going to endlessly taunt me. But not all the guys played football. Some were in choir and theater. Quite a few guys were in the marching band. In fact, the Marching Tigers had won the grand prize in their division at last year’s state showdown in Lincoln.
I was excited! They were the champions, and I was about to become a part of their legacy.
Yet, that afternoon, a sense of anxiety brewed in my belly. I knew I had to talk to him.
He was sweeping the grass clippings off of the sidewalk. He nodded.
“I need to tell you something.”
He looked up.
“I know that you know about my sax because you hear me practicing. I like it a lot, and I’m becoming pretty good at it. I still care about what you like, but I’m starting to like some other things more. I hope you’ll be proud of me whatever I choose.”
He studied the cracks in the driveway. “I am proud of you. I just figured you’d play football.”
We never talked about it again, but that fall, he was in the stands when our marching band won the state championship in Lincoln for the second time. In fact, for the next four years, he never left the stands during halftime until the marching band had performed. He was even in the audience for every performance of “Our Town” at the end of my junior year. I played the Stage Manager who reveals the show’s theme: everything changes gradually.
I know it’s true. Things do change over time, even out here in central Nebraska. I know because I’ve changed, and my dad has changed, too. I just needed the courage to go first.
Word count: 626
The essay starts with a picture of confrontation that directly reflects the prompt. It then paints a chronological narrative of the student’s journey toward change, while using the literary device of flashback in the middle to add background and clarity to the story. | |
The student uses a conversational yet respectful tone for a college essay. He effectively uses dialogue to highlight important moments of conflict and mutual understanding throughout the story. | |
The student clearly demonstrates the qualities of self-reflection, courage, and integrity without directly claiming to have them (show, don’t tell). | |
The student offers an honest assessment of his culture’s traditional views of manhood, his reasons for challenging them, and his appreciation for his father’s acceptance of his choices. |
The student demonstrates how his teacher giving him an unexpected bad grade was the catalyst for his becoming a better writer.
Reflect on something that someone has done for you that has made you happy or thankful in a surprising way. How has this gratitude affected or motivated you?
I stared in disbelief at the big red letter at the top of my paper: D.
Never in my entire high school career had I seen that letter at the top of any paper, unless it was at the beginning of my first name.
I had a 4.796 GPA. I had taken every pre-AP and AP course offered. My teachers had praised my writing skills! However, Mr. Trimble didn’t think so, and he let me know it:
“Darwin, in the future, I believe you can do better if you fully apply yourself.”
I furiously scanned the paper for corrections. Not even one! Grammar and syntax? Perfect. Spelling? Impeccable. Sentence and paragraph structure? Precise and indisputable, as always.
Was he trying to ruin my GPA? Cooper was clearly his favorite, and we were neck and neck for valedictorian, which was only one year away. Maybe they were conspiring to take me down.
Thankfully, AP Composition was my last class. I fled the room and ran to my car. Defiant tears stained my cheeks as I screeched my tires and roared out of the parking lot. When I got home, I shoved in my AirPods, flopped on my bed, and buried my head under the pillow.
I awoke to my sister, Daria, gently shaking my arm. “I know what happened, D. Trimble stopped me in the hall after school.”
“I’m sure he did. He’s trying to ruin my life.”
“That’s not what he told me. You should talk to him, D.”
The next day, although I tried to avoid Mr. Trimble at all costs, I almost tripped over him as I was coming out of the bathroom.
“Darwin, can we talk?”
He walked me down the hall to his room. “Do you know that you’re one of the best writers I’ve ever had in AP Comp?”
“Then why’d you do it?”
“Because you’re better than you know, Darwin. You impress with your perfect presentations, and your teachers reward you with A’s and praise. I do frequent the teacher’s lounge, you know.”
“So I know you’re not trying.”
I locked eyes with him and glared.
“You’ve never had to try because you have a gift. And, in the midst of the acclaim, you’ve never pushed yourself to discover your true capabilities.”
“So you give me a D?!”
“It got your attention.”
“You’re not going to leave it, are you?”
“Oh, the D stands. You didn’t apply yourself. You’ll have to earn your way out with your other papers.”
I gained a new understanding of the meaning of ambivalence. Part of me was furious at the injustice of the situation, but I also felt strangely challenged and intrigued. I joined a local writer’s co-op and studied K. M. Weiland’s artistic writing techniques.
Multiple drafts, track changes, and constructive criticism became my new world. I stopped taking Mr. Trimble’s criticism personally and began to see it as a precious tool to bolster me, not break me down.
Last week, the New York Public Library notified me that I was named one of five finalists for the Young Lions Fiction Award. They described my collection of short stories as “fresh, imaginative, and captivating.”
I never thought I could be grateful for a D, but Mr. Trimble’s insightful courage was the catalyst that transformed my writing and my character. Just because other people applaud you for being the best doesn’t mean you’re doing your best .
AP Composition is now recorded as an A on my high school transcript, and Cooper and I are still locked in a tight race for the finish line. But, thanks to Mr. Trimble, I have developed a different paradigm for evaluation: my best. And the more I apply myself, the better my best becomes.
Word Count: 627
The essay begins with an attention-grabbing statement that immediately captures the essence of surprise requested in the prompt. The story then unfolds in a logical sequence, taking the reader on a journey of unexpected transformation. | |
The student uses an accessible, casual tone that works well in light of his expertise in writing. His use of dialogue with nicknames and colloquialism brings a conversational tone to the storyline. | |
The student openly shows his motivation for success and his feelings toward his peers and teacher. However, he demonstrates humility in accepting criticism, responding with a diligent attempt to improve his writing skills. | |
The essay concludes with growth in the student’s character and self-discipline while his circumstances remained the same. He brings the prompt full circle, expressing his gratitude toward his teacher. |
This student narrates how she initially went to church for a boy but instead ended up confronting her selfishness by helping others.
Discuss an accomplishment, event, or realization that sparked a period of personal growth and a new understanding of yourself or others.
Originally, I went to church not because I was searching for Jesus but because I liked a boy.
Isaac Ono wasn’t the most athletic boy in our class, nor was he the cutest. But I was amazed by his unusual kindness toward everyone. If someone was alone or left out, he’d walk up to them and say hello or invite them to hang out with him and his friends.
I started waking up at 7:30 a.m. every Sunday morning to attend Grace Hills Presbyterian, where Isaac’s father was the pastor. I would strategically sit in a pew not too close but close enough to Isaac that when the entire congregation was instructed to say “Peace be with you,” I could “happen” to shake Isaac’s hand and make small talk.
One service, as I was staring at the back of Isaac’s head, pondering what to say to him, my hearing suddenly tuned in to his father’s sermon.
“There’s no such thing as a good or bad person.”
My eyes snapped onto Pastor Marcus.
“I used to think I was a good person who came from a respectable family and did nice things. But people aren’t inherently good or bad. They just make good or bad choices.”
My mind raced through a mental checklist of whether my past actions fell mostly into the former or latter category.
“As it says in Deuteronomy 30:15, ‘I have set before you today life and good, death and evil.’ Follow in the footsteps of Jesus and do good.”
I glanced to my left and saw Margaret, underlining passages in her study Bible and taking copious notes.
Months earlier, I had befriended Margaret. We had fourth-period Spanish together but hadn’t interacted much. She was friends with Isaac, so I started hanging out with her to get closer to him. But eventually, the two of us were spending hours in the Starbucks parking lot having intense discussions about religion, boys, and our futures until we had to return home before curfew.
After hearing the pastor’s sermon, I realized that what I had admired about Isaac was also present in Margaret and other people at church: a welcoming spirit. I’m pretty sure Margaret knew of my ulterior motives for befriending her, but she never called me out on it.
After that day, I started paying more attention to Pastor Marcus’s sermons and less attention to Isaac. One year, our youth group served Christmas Eve dinner to the homeless and ate with them. I sat across from a woman named Lila who told me how child services had taken away her four-year-old daughter because of her financial and living situation.
A few days later, as I sat curled up reading the book of James, my heart suddenly felt heavy.
“If a brother or sister is poorly clothed and lacking in daily food, and one of you says to them, ‘Go in peace, be warmed and filled,’ without giving them the things needed for the body, what good is that?”
I thought back to Pastor Marcus’s sermon on good and bad actions, Lila and her daughter, and the times I had passed people in need without even saying hello.
I decided to put my faith into action. The next week, I started volunteering at the front desk of a women’s shelter, helping women fill out forms or watching their kids while they talked with social workers.
From working for the past year at the women’s shelter, I now know I want to major in social work, caring for others instead of focusing on myself. I may not be a good person (or a bad one), but I can make good choices, helping others with every opportunity God gives me.
Word count: 622
The narrative begins by clearly identifying the prompt: the event of church attendance. It has a clear story arc, starting with the student’s church experiences, moving on to her self-examination, and concluding with the changes she made to her behavior and goals to serve others. | |
The student uses dialogue to highlight key moments of realization and transformation. The essay’s tone is casual, helping the reader feel comfortable in the student’s thoughts and memory. | |
The student displays an unusual level of self-awareness and maturity by revealing an ulterior motive, the ability to self-reflect, and a desire to authentically apply theoretical teachings in a real-world setting. | |
While the topic of church and conversion is common, the student’s narrative weaves in unexpected elements to create interest while clearly answering the prompt. |
This essay shows how a student’s natural affinity for solving a Rubik’s cube developed her self-understanding, academic achievement, and inspiration for her future career.
Describe a topic, idea, or concept you find so engaging that it makes you lose all track of time. Why does it captivate you? What or who do you turn to when you want to learn more?
The worst part about writing is putting down my Rubik’s cube so that I can use my hands to type. That’s usually the worst part of tackling my to-do list: setting aside my Rubik’s cube. My parents call it an obsession. But, for me, solving a Rubik’s cube challenges my brain as nothing else can.
It started on my ninth birthday. I invited three friends for a sleepover party, and I waited to open my presents right before bed. Wrapping paper, ribbons, and bows flew through the air as I oohed and aahed over each delightful gift! However, it was the last gift—a 3 x 3 x 3 cube of little squares covered in red, green, blue, yellow, white, and orange—that intrigued me.
I was horrified when Bekka ripped it out of my hands and messed it all up! I had no idea how to make all the sides match again. I waited until my friends were fast asleep. Then, I grabbed that cube and studied it under my blanket with a flashlight, determined to figure out how to restore it to its former pristine state.
Within a few weeks, I had discovered the secret. To practice, I’d take my cube with me to recess and let the other kids time me while I solved it in front of them. The better I became, the more they gathered around. But I soon realized that their attention didn’t matter all that much. I loved solving cubes for hours wherever I was: at lunch, riding in the car, or alone in my room.
Cross. White corners. Middle-layer edges. Yellow cross. Sune and anitsune.
The sequential algorithms became second nature, and with the assistance of a little black digital timer, I strove to solve the cube faster , each time attempting to beat my previous record. I watched speed solvers on YouTube, like Australia’s Feliks Zemdegs and Max Park from Massachusetts, but I wasn’t motivated to compete as they did. I watched their videos to learn how to improve my time. I liked finding new, more efficient ways of mastering the essential 78 separate cube-solving algorithms.
Now, I understand why my passion for my Rubik’s cube has never waned. Learning and applying the various algorithms soothes my brain and centers my emotions, especially when I feel overwhelmed from being around other people. Don’t get me wrong: I like other people—just in doses.
While some people get recharged by spending time with others, I can finally breathe when I’m alone with my cube. Our psychology teacher says the difference between an extrovert and an introvert is the situations that trigger their brains to produce dopamine. For me, it’s time away, alone, flipping through cube patterns to set a new personal best.
Sometimes, the world doesn’t cooperate with introverts, requiring them to interact with many people throughout the day. That’s why you’ll often find me in the stairwell or a library corner attempting to master another one of the 42 quintillion ways to solve a cube. My parents tease me that when I’ve “had enough” of anything, my fingers get a Rubik’s itch, and I suddenly disappear. I’m usually occupied for a while, but when I finally emerge, I feel centered, prepared to tackle my next task.
Secretly, I credit my cube with helping me earn top marks in AP Calculus, Chemistry, and Physics. It’s also responsible for my interest in computer engineering. It seems I just can’t get enough of those algorithms, which is why I want to study the design and implementation of cybersecurity software—all thanks to my Rubik’s cube.
Just don’t tell my parents! It would ruin all the fun!
Word count: 607
The student immediately captures the reader’s attention with an unexpected statement that captures the prompt’s focus on captivation. Her writing clearly illustrates her love for the Rubik’s cube, showing how the cube has helped her emotionally and academically and inspired her choice of major. | |
The student uses a conversational tone while inserting elevated language and concepts that surround her field of interest. She also uses the “I” to personalize her experience. | |
Through her detailed narrative of her Rubik’s cube hobby, the student demonstrates perseverance, focus, curiosity, and an uncanny ability to solve problems. | |
The student shows awareness of her introversion by explaining how the Rubik’s cube helps her emotionally recharge. She also credits her hobby with helping her in her studies and inspiring her intended major. |
In this free topic essay, the student uses a montage structure inspired by the TV show Iron Chef America to demonstrate his best leadership moments.
Share an essay on any topic of your choice. It can be one you’ve already written, one that responds to a different prompt, or one of your own design.
Iron Chef America: College Essay Edition
The time has come to answer college’s most difficult question: Whose story shows glory?
This is … Iron Chef America: College Essay Edition!
Welcome to Kitchen Stadium! Today we have Chef Brett Lowell. Chef Brett will be put to the test to prove he has what it takes to attend university next fall.
And the secret ingredient is … leadership! He must include leadership in each of his dishes, which will later be evaluated by a panel of admissions judges.
So now, America, with a creative mind and empty paper, I say unto you in the words of my teacher: “Let’s write!”
Appetizer: My first leadership experience
A mountain of mismatched socks, wrinkled jeans, and my dad’s unironed dress shirts sat in front of me. Laundry was just one of many chores that welcomed me home once I returned from my after-school job at Baskin Robbins, a gig I had taken last year to help Dad pay the rent. A few years earlier, I wasn’t prepared to cook dinners, pay utility bills, or pick up and drop off my brothers. I thought those jobs were reserved for parents. However, when my father was working double shifts at the power plant and my mom was living in Tucson with her new husband, Bill, I stepped up and took care of the house and my two younger brothers.
Main course: My best leadership experience
Between waiting for the pasta water to boil and for the next laundry cycle to be finished, I squeezed in solving a few practice precalculus problems to prepare for the following week’s mathletics competition. I liked how the equations always had clear, clean answers, which calmed me among the mounting responsibilities of home life. After leading my team to the Minnesota State Finals for two years in a row, I was voted team captain. Although my home responsibilities often competed with my mathlete duties, I tried to be as productive as possible in my free time. On the bus ride home, I would often tackle 10 to 20 functions or budget the following week’s meals and corresponding grocery list. My junior year was rough, but both my home and my mathlete team needed me.
Dessert: My future leadership hopes
The first thing I ever baked was a chocolate cake in middle school. This was around the time that Mom had just moved out and I was struggling with algebra. Troubles aside, one day my younger brother Simon needed a contribution for his school’s annual bake sale, and the PTA moms wouldn’t accept anything store-bought. So I carefully measured out the teaspoons and cups of various flours, powders, and oils, which resulted in a drooping, too-salty disaster.
Four years later, after a bakery’s worth of confections and many hours of study, I’ve perfected my German chocolate cake and am on my way to mastering Calculus AB. I’ve also thrown out the bitter-tasting parts of my past such as my resentment and anger toward my mom. I still miss having her at home, but whenever I have a baking question or want to update her on my mathlete team’s success, I call her or chat with her over text.
Whether in school or life, I see problems as opportunities, not obstacles, to find a better way to solve them more efficiently. I hope to continue improving my problem-solving skills next fall by majoring in mathematics and statistics.
Time’s up!
We hope you’ve enjoyed this tasting of Chef Lowell’s leadership experiences. Next fall, tune in to see him craft new leadership adventures in college. He’s open to refining his technique and discovering new recipes.
Word count: 612
The student uses a popular TV cooking show as an unexpected concept to display his leadership abilities. Since the prompt is open-ended, the student has more room to craft his response. | |
The essay juxtaposes the contrived nature of a TV show’s script with a conversational narrative of the student’s leadership stories. | |
Each story effectively showcases the student’s leadership by showing, not telling. Rather than saying “I’m a great leader,” he provides specific instances of his best moments of demonstrated leadership. | |
The student honestly shares his reservations about his mother’s new life but shows how he was able to reconcile aspects of their relationship as time passed. |
If you want to know more about academic writing , effective communication , or parts of speech , make sure to check out some of our other articles with explanations and examples.
Academic writing
- Writing process
- Transition words
- Passive voice
- Paraphrasing
Communication
- How to end an email
- Ms, mrs, miss
- How to start an email
- I hope this email finds you well
- Hope you are doing well
Parts of speech
- Personal pronouns
- Conjunctions
The Common App essay is your primary writing sample within the Common Application, a college application portal accepted by more than 900 schools. All your prospective schools that accept the Common App will read this essay to understand your character, background, and value as a potential student.
Since this essay is read by many colleges, avoid mentioning any college names or programs; instead, save tailored answers for the supplementary school-specific essays within the Common App.
When writing your Common App essay , choose a prompt that sparks your interest and that you can connect to a unique personal story.
No matter which prompt you choose, admissions officers are more interested in your ability to demonstrate personal development , insight, or motivation for a certain area of study.
To decide on a good college essay topic , spend time thoughtfully answering brainstorming questions. If you still have trouble identifying topics, try the following two strategies:
- Identify your qualities → Brainstorm stories that demonstrate these qualities
- Identify memorable stories → Connect your qualities to these stories
You can also ask family, friends, or mentors to help you brainstorm topics, give feedback on your potential essay topics, or recall key stories that showcase your qualities.
A standout college essay has several key ingredients:
- A unique, personally meaningful topic
- A memorable introduction with vivid imagery or an intriguing hook
- Specific stories and language that show instead of telling
- Vulnerability that’s authentic but not aimed at soliciting sympathy
- Clear writing in an appropriate style and tone
- A conclusion that offers deep insight or a creative ending
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How to Write the Common Application Essays 2024-2025 (With Examples)
The Common App essay is one of the most important parts of your application, but it can be extremely daunting if you’re not familiar with creative writing or what admissions officers are looking for.
In this blog post, we’ll provide advice on how to break down these prompts, organize your thoughts, and craft a strong, meaningful response that admissions officers will notice. If you’d like more free personalized help, you can get your essays reviewed and explore school-by-school essay help on CollegeVine.
Why the Common App Essay Matters
Admissions is a human process. While admissions committees look at grades, test scores, and extracurriculars, there are five students that have great qualifications in those areas for every spot in a university’s class. As an applicant, you need an admissions counselor to choose you over everyone else — to advocate specifically for you.
This is where essays come in; they are an opportunity for you to turn an admissions counselor into an advocate for your application! Of your essays, the Common App is the most important since it is seen by most of the colleges to which you apply. It is also your longest essay, which gives you more space to craft a narrative and share your personality, feelings, and perspective.
It’s not hyperbole to say that getting the Common App essay right is the single most important thing you can do to improve your chances of admission as a senior.
Overview of the Common App
The Common App essay is the best way for admissions committees to get to know you. While SAT scores, your past course load, and your grades provide a quantitative picture of you as a student, the Common App essay offers adcoms a refreshing glimpse into your identity and personality. For this reason, try to treat the essay as an opportunity to tell colleges why you are unique and what matters to you.
Since your Common App essay will be seen by numerous colleges, you will want to paint a portrait of yourself that is accessible to a breadth of institutions and admissions officers (for example, if you are only applying to engineering programs at some schools, don’t focus your Common App on STEM at the expense of your other applications — save that for your supplemental essays).
In short, be open and willing to write about a topic you love, whether it is sports, music, politics, food, or watching movies. The Common App essay is more of a conversation than a job interview.
What Makes a Great Common App Essay?
A great Common App essay is, first and foremost, deeply personal. You are relying on the admissions committee to choose you over someone else, which they are more likely to do if they feel a personal connection to you. In your essay, you should delve into your feelings, how you think about situations/problems, and how you make decisions.
Good essays also usually avoid cliche topics . A couple overdone themes include an immigrant’s journey (particularly if you’re Asian American), and a sports accomplishment or injury. It’s not that these topics are bad, but rather that many students write about these subjects, so they don’t stand out as much. Of course, some students are able to write a genuine and unique essay about one of these topics, but it’s hard to pull off. You’re better off writing about more nuanced aspects of your identity!
You should also, of course, pay close attention to your grammar and spelling, use varied sentence structure and word choice, and be consistent with your tone/writing style. Take full advantage of the available 650 words, as writing less tends to mean missed opportunities.
Finally, it’s a good practice to be aware of your audience – know who you are writing for! For example, admissions officers at BYU will probably be very religious, while those at Oberlin will be deeply committed to social justice.
See some examples of great Common App essays to get a better idea of what makes a strong essay.
How your Common App Essay Fits with Your Other Essays
The Common App is one part of a portfolio of essays that you send to colleges, along with supplemental essays at individual colleges. With all of your essays for a particular college, you want to create a narrative and tell different parts of your story. So, the topics you write about should be cohesive and complementary, but not repetitive or overlapping.
Before jumping in to write your Common App essay, you should think about the other schools that you’re writing essays for and make sure that you have a strategy for your entire portfolio of essays and cover different topics for each. If you have strong qualifications on paper for the colleges you are targeting, the best narratives tend to humanize you. If you have weaker qualifications on paper for your colleges, the best narratives tend to draw out your passion for the topics or fields of study that are of interest to you and magnify your accomplishments.
Strategy for Writing the Common App Essays
Because the Common App essay is 650 words long and has few formal directions, organizing a response might seem daunting. Fortunately, at CollegeVine, we’ve developed a straightforward approach to formulating strong, unique responses.
This section outlines how to: 1) Brainstorm , 2) Organize , and 3) Write a Common App essay.
Before reading the prompts, brainstorming is a critical exercise to develop high-level ideas. One way to construct a high-level idea would be to delve into a passion and focus on how you interact with the concept or activity. For example, using “creative writing” as a high-level idea, one could stress their love of world-building, conveying complex emotions, and depicting character interactions, emphasizing how writing stems from real-life experiences.
A different idea that doesn’t involve an activity would be to discuss how your personality has developed in relation to your family; maybe one sibling is hot-headed, the other quiet, and you’re in the middle as the voice of reason (or maybe you’re the hot-head). These are simply two examples of infinitely many ideas you could come up with.
To begin developing your own high-level ideas, you can address these Core Four questions that all good Common App essays should answer:
- “Who Am I?”
- “Why Am I Here?”
- “What is Unique About Me?”
- “What Matters to Me?”
The first question focuses on your personality traits — who you are. The second question targets your progression throughout high school (an arc or journey). The third question is more difficult to grasp, but it involves showing why your personality traits, methods of thinking, areas of interest, and tangible skills form a unique combination. The fourth question is a concluding point that can be answered simply, normally in the conclusion paragraph, i.e., “Running matters to me” or “Ethical fashion matters to me.”
You can brainstorm freeform or start with a specific prompt in mind.
Sometimes, it can be helpful to start by jotting down the 3-5 aspects of your personality or experiences you’ve had on a piece of paper. Play around with narratives that are constructed out of different combinations of these essential attributes before settling on a prompt.
For example, you might note that you are fascinated by environmental justice, have had success in Model Congress, and are now working with a local politician to create a recycling program in your school district. You may also have tried previous initiatives that failed. These experiences could be constructed and applied to a number of Common App prompts. You could address a specific identity or interest you have associated with public advocacy, discuss what you learned from your failed initiatives, explore how you challenged the lack of recycling at your school, fantasize about solving waste management issues, etc.
Selecting a prompt that you identify with
For example, consider the following prompt: The lessons we take from obstacles we encounter can be fundamental to later success. Recount a time when you faced a challenge, setback, or failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience?
Perhaps you had been a dedicated and active member of your school’s debate team until one of your parents lost their jobs, leaving you unable to afford the high membership and travel dues. You decided to help out by getting a job after school, and responded to your familial hardship with grace and understanding (as opposed to anger). A few months later, and after speaking with your former debate coach and your parents, you set up a system to save up for your own trips so that you could still participate in debate!
In general, the most common mistake CollegeVine sees with Common App essays is that they aren’t deeply personal. Your essay should be specific enough that it could be identified as yours even if your name wasn’t attached.
If you get stuck, don’t worry! This is very common as the Common App is often the first personal essay college applicants have ever written. One way of getting unstuck if you feel like you aren’t getting creative or personal enough is to keep asking yourself “why”
For example: I love basketball…
- Because I like having to think on the fly and be creative while running our offense.
It can often help to work with someone and bounce ideas off them. Teachers are often a bad idea – they tend to think of essays in an academic sense, which is to say they often fail to apply the admissions context. Further, it is unlikely that they know you well enough to provide valuable insight. Friends in your own year can be a good idea because they know you, but you should be careful about competitive pressures applying within the same high school. Older friends, siblings, or neighbors who have successfully navigated the admissions process at your target universities (or good universities) strike that medium between no longer being competitive with you for admissions but still being able to help you brainstorm well because they know you.
Overall, there is no single “correct” topic. Your essay will be strong as long as you are comfortable and passionate about your idea and it answers the Core Four questions.
Common App essays are not traditional five-paragraph essays. You are free to be creative in structure, employ dialogue, and use vivid descriptions—and you should! Make sure that context and logic are inherent in your essay, however. From paragraph to paragraph, sentence to sentence, your ideas should be clear and flow naturally. Great ways to ensure this are using a story arc following a few major points, or focusing on cause and effect.
The traditional approach
This involves constructing a narrative out of your experiences and writing a classic personal essay. You are free to be creative in structure, employ dialogue, and use vivid descriptions—and you should! Make sure that context and logic are inherent in your essay, however. From paragraph to paragraph, sentence to sentence, your ideas should be clear and flow naturally. Great ways to ensure this are using a story arc following a few major points, or focusing on cause and effect.
The creative approach
Some students prefer to experiment with an entirely new approach to the personal essay. For example, a student who is passionate about programming could write their essay in alternating lines of Binary and English. A hopeful Literature major could reimagine a moment in their life as a chapter of War and Peace, adopting Tolstoy’s writing style. Or, you could write about a fight with your friend in the form of a third person sports recap to both highlight your interest in journalism and reveal a personal story. Creative essays are incredibly risky and difficult to pull off. However, a creative essay that is well executed may also have the potential for high reward.
Your Common App essay must display excellent writing in terms of grammar and sentence structure. The essay doesn’t need to be a Shakespearean masterpiece, but it should be well-written and clear.
A few tips to accomplish this are:
- Show, don’t tell
- Be specific
- Choose active voice, not passive voice
- Avoid clichés
- Write in a tone that aligns with your goals for the essay. For example, if you are a heavy STEM applicant hoping to use your Common App essay to humanize your application, you will be undermined by writing in a brusque, harsh tone.
“Show, don’t tell” is vital to writing an engaging essay, and this is the point students struggle with most. Instead of saying, “I struggled to make friends when I transferred schools,” you can show your emotions by writing, “I scanned the bustling school cafeteria, feeling more and more forlorn with each unfamiliar face. I found an empty table and ate my lunch alone.”
In many cases, writing can include more specific word choice . For example, “As a kid, I always played basketball,” can be improved to be “Every day after school as a kid, I ran home, laced up my sneakers, and shot a basketball in my driveway until the sun went down and I could barely see.”
To use active voice over passive voice , be sure that your sentence’s subject performs the action indicated by the verb, rather than the action performing onto the subject. Instead of writing “this project was built by my own hands,” you would say “I built this project with my own hands.”
Finally, avoid clichés like adages, sayings, and quotes that do not bring value to your essay. Examples include phrases like “Be the change you wish to see in the world” (it’s also important to know that sayings like these are often seriously misquoted—Gandhi did not actually utter these words) and lavish claims like “it was the greatest experience of my life.”
A few tips for the writing (and re-writing!) process
- If you have enough time, write a 950 word version of your personal statement first and then cut it down to the official word limit of 650. In many cases, the extra writing you do for this draft will contain compelling content. Using this, you can carve out the various sections and information that allow you to tell your story best.
- Revise your draft 3-5 times. Any more, you are probably overthinking and overanalyzing. Any less, you are not putting in the work necessary to optimize your Common App essay.
- It can be easy for you to get lost in your words after reading and rereading, writing and rewriting. It is best to have someone else do your final proofread to help you identify typos or sentences that are unclear.
Deciding on a Prompt
This section provides insights and examples for each of the 7 Common App essay prompts for the 2024-2025 cycle. Each of these prompts lends itself to distinct topics and strategies, so selecting the prompt that best aligns with your idea is essential to writing an effective Common App essay.
Here are this year’s prompts (click the link to jump to the specific prompt):
Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.
The lessons we take from obstacles we encounter can be fundamental to later success. recount a time when you faced a challenge, setback, or failure. how did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience, reflect on a time when you questioned or challenged a belief or idea. what prompted your thinking what was the outcome, reflect on something that someone has done for you that has made you happy or thankful in a surprising way. how has this gratitude affected or motivated you, discuss an accomplishment, event, or realization that sparked a period of personal growth and a new understanding of yourself or others., describe a topic, idea, or concept you find so engaging that it makes you lose all track of time. why does it captivate you what or who do you turn to when you want to learn more, share an essay on any topic of your choice. it can be one you’ve already written, one that responds to a different prompt, or one of your own design..
This prompt offers an opportunity to engage with your favorite extracurricular or academic subject, and it allows you to weave a narrative that displays personal growth in that area. An essay that displays your personality and a unique interest can be attention-grabbing, particularly if you have an unconventional passion, such as blogging about Chinese basketball or unicycling.
Don’t feel intimidated if you don’t have a passion that is immediately “unique,” however. Even an interest like “arctic scuba diving” will fail as an essay topic if it’s not written with insight and personality. Instead of attempting to impress the Admissions Officer by making up unusual or shocking things, think about how you spend your free time and ask yourself why you spend it that way. Also think about your upbringing, identity, and experiences and ask yourself, “What has impacted me in a meaningful way?”
Here Are A Few Response Examples:
Background – A person’s background includes experiences, training, education, and culture. You can discuss the experience of growing up, interacting with family, and how relationships have molded who you are. A background can include long-term interactions with arts, music, sciences, sports, writing, and many other learned skills. Background also includes your social environments and how they’ve influenced your perception. In addition, you can highlight intersections between multiple backgrounds and show how each is integral to you.
One student wrote about how growing up in a poor Vietnamese immigrant family inspired her to seize big opportunities, even if they were risky or challenging. She describes the emotional demand of opening and running a family grocery store. (Note: Names have been changed to protect the identity of the author and subjects in all the examples.)
The callouses on my mother’s hands formed during the years spent scaling fish at the market in Go Noi, Vietnam. My mother never finished her formal education because she labored on the streets to help six others survive. Her calloused hands not only scaled fish, they also slaved over the stove, mustering a meal from the few items in the pantry. This image resurfaces as I watch my mother’s calloused hands wipe her sweat-beaded forehead while she manages the family business, compiling resources to provide for the family.
Living in an impoverished region of Vietnam pushed my parents to emigrate. My two year-old memory fails me, but my mother vividly recounts my frightened eyes staring up at her on my first plane ride. With life packed into a single suitcase, my mother’s heart, though, trembled more than mine. Knowing only a few words of English, my mother embarked on a journey shrouded in a haze of uncertainty.
Our initial year in America bore an uncanny resemblance to Vietnam – from making one meal last the entire day to wearing the same four shirts over and over again. Through thin walls, I heard my parents debating their decision to come to the United States, a land where they knew no one. My grandparents’ support came in half-hearted whispers cracking through long-distance phone calls. My dad’s scanty income barely kept food on the table. We lived on soup and rice for what seemed an interminable time.
However, an opportunity knocked on my parents’ door: a grocery store in the town of Decatur, Mississippi, was up for rent. My parents took the chance, risking all of their savings. To help my parents, I spent most of my adolescent afternoons stocking shelves, mopping floors, and even translating. My parents’ voices wavered when speaking English; through every attempt to communicate with their customers, a language barrier forged a palpable presence in each transaction. My parents’ spirits faltered as customers grew impatient. A life of poverty awaited us in Vietnam if the business was not successful.
On the first day, the business brought in only twenty dollars. Twenty dollars. My mother and my father wept after they closed the shop. Seeing the business as a failure, my mom commenced her packing that night; returning to Vietnam seemed inevitable.
The next business day, however, sales increased ten-fold. More and more customers came each successive day. My mom’s tears turned into—well, more tears, but they were tears of joy. My mother unpacked a bag each night.
Fifteen years later, my parents now own Blue Bear Grocery. My parents work, work, work to keep the shelves stocked and the customers coming. The grocery store holds a special place in my heart: it is the catalyst for my success. My parents serve as my role-models, teaching me a new lesson with every can placed on the shelf. One lesson that resurfaces is the importance of pursuing a formal education, something that my parents never had the chance of.
When the opportunity to attend the Mississippi School for Mathematics and Science (MSMS) presented itself, I took it and ran, as did my parents by leaving Vietnam and by buying the store. Although I am not managing hundreds of products, I am managing hundreds of assignments at MSMS – from Mu Alpha Theta tutoring to lab reports to student government to British literature.
Had I not immigrated, my hands would be calloused from the tight grip of the knife scaling fish rather than from the tight grip on my pencil. My hands would be calloused from scrubbing my clothes covered in fish scales rather than from long hours spent typing a research paper.
Although the opportunities that my parents and I pursued are different, our journey is essentially the same: we walk a road paved with uncertainty and doubt with the prospect of success fortified by our hearts and our hands.
Identity – this can mean racial identity, sexual orientation, gender, or simply one’s place within a specific community (even communities as unique as, say, players of World of Warcraft). With the topic of racial identity, it’s important to remember the audience (college admissions counselors often lean progressive politically), so this might not be the best place to make sweeping claims about today’s state of race relations. However, reflecting on how your culture has shaped your experiences can make for a compelling essay. Alternatively, focusing on a dominant personality trait can also make for a compelling theme. For example, if you’re extremely outgoing, you could explain how your adventurousness has allowed you to learn from a diverse group of friends and the random situations you find yourself in. One important thing to note: the topic of identity can easily lack originality if you cover a common experience such as feeling divided between cultures, or coming out. If such experiences are integral to who you are, you should still write about them, but be sure to show us your unique introspection and reflection.
One student detailed how growing up as an American in Germany led to feelings of displacement. Moving to America in high school only exacerbated her feelings of rootlessness. Her transcultural experiences, however, allowed her to relate to other “New Americans,” particularly refugees. Helping a young refugee girl settle into the US eventually helped the writer find home in America as well:
Growing up, I always wanted to eat, play, visit, watch, and be it all: sloppy joes and spaetzle, Beanie Babies and Steiff, Cape Cod and the Baltic Sea, football and fussball, American and German.
My American parents relocated our young family to Berlin when I was three years old. My exposure to America was limited to holidays spent stateside and awfully dubbed Disney Channel broadcasts. As the few memories I had of living in the US faded, my affinity for Germany grew. I began to identify as “Germerican,” an ideal marriage of the two cultures. As a child, I viewed my biculturalism as a blessing. I possessed a native fluency in “Denglisch” and my family’s Halloween parties were legendary at a time when the holiday was just starting to gain popularity outside of the American Sector.
Insidiously, the magic I once felt in loving two homes was replaced by a deeprooted sense of rootlessness. I stopped feeling American when, while discussing World War II with my grandmother, I said “the US won.” She corrected me, insisting I use “we” when referring to the US’s actions. Before then, I hadn’t realized how directly people associated themselves with their countries. I stopped feeling German during the World Cup when my friends labeled me a “bandwagon fan” for rooting for Germany. Until that moment, my cheers had felt sincere. I wasn’t part of the “we” who won World Wars or World Cups. Caught in a twilight of foreign and familiar, I felt emotionally and psychologically disconnected from the two cultures most familiar to me.
After moving from Berlin to New York state at age fifteen, my feelings of cultural homelessness thrived in my new environment. Looking and sounding American furthered my feelings of dislocation. Border patrol agents, teachers, classmates, neighbors, and relatives all “welcomed me home” to a land they could not understand was foreign to me. Americans confused me as I relied on Urban Dictionary to understand my peers, the Pledge of Allegiance seemed nationalistic, and the only thing familiar about Fahrenheit was the German after whom it was named. Too German for America and too American for Germany, I felt alienated from both. I wanted desperately to be a member of one, if not both, cultures.
During my first weeks in Buffalo, I spent my free time googling “Berlin Family Seeks Teen” and “New Americans in Buffalo.” The latter search proved most fruitful: I discovered New Hope, a nonprofit that empowers resettled refugees, or “New Americans,” to thrive. I started volunteering with New Hope’s children’s programs, playing with and tutoring young refugees.
It was there that I met Leila, a twelve-year-old Iraqi girl who lived next to Hopeprint. In between games and snacks, Leila would ask me questions about American life, touching on everything from Halloween to President Obama. Gradually, my confidence in my American identity grew as I recognized my ability to answer most of her questions. American culture was no longer completely foreign to me. I found myself especially qualified to work with young refugees; my experience growing up in a country other than that of my parents’ was similar enough to that of the refugee children New Hope served that I could empathize with them and offer advice. Together, we worked through conflicting allegiances, homesickness, and stretched belonging.
Forging a special, personal bond with young refugees proved a cathartic outlet for my insecurities as it taught me to value my past. My transculturalism allowed me to help young refugees integrate into American life, and, in doing so, I was able to adjust myself. Now, I have an appreciation of myself that I never felt before. “Home” isn’t the digits in a passport or ZIP code but a sense of contentedness. By helping a young refugee find comfort, happiness, and home in America, I was finally able to find those same things for myself.
The above essay was written by Lydia Schooler, a graduate of Yale University and one of our CollegeVine advisors. If you enjoyed this essay and are looking for expert college essay and admissions advice, consider booking a session with Lydia .
Interests – Interest are basically synonymous to activities, but slightly broader (you could say that interests encompass activities); participation in an interest is often less organized than in an activity. For instance, you might consider cross country an activity, but cooking an interest. Writing about an interest is a way to highlight passions that may not come across in the rest of your application. If you’re a wrestler for example, writing about your interest in stand-up comedy would be a refreshing addition to your application. You should also feel free to use this topic to show what an important activity on your application really means to you. Keep in mind, however, that many schools will ask you to describe one of your activities in their supplemental essays (usually about 250 words), so choose strategically—you don’t want to write twice on the same thing.
Read a successful essay answering this prompt.
This prompt lends itself to consideration of what facets of your personality allow you to overcome adversity. While it’s okay to choose a relatively mundane “failure” such as not winning an award at a Model UN conference, another (perhaps more powerful) tactic is to write about a foundational failure and assess its impact on your development thereafter.
There are times in life when your foundation is uprooted. There are times when you experience failure and you want to give up since you don’t see a solution. This essay is about your response when you are destabilized and your actions when you don’t see an immediate answer.
For example, if you lost a friend due to an argument, you can analyze the positions from both sides, evaluate your decisions, and identify why you were wrong. The key is explaining your thought process and growth following the event to highlight how your thinking has changed. Did you ever admit your fault and seek to fix the problem? Have you treated others differently since then? How has the setback changed the way you view arguments and fights now? Framing the prompt in this way allows you to tackle heavier questions about ethics and demonstrate your self-awareness.
If you haven’t experienced a “big” failure, another angle to take would be to discuss smaller, repeated failures that are either linked or similar thematically. For example, if you used to stutter or get nervous in large social groups, you could discuss the steps you took to find a solution. Even if you don’t have a massive foundational challenge to write about, a recurring challenge can translate to a powerful essay topic, especially if the steps you took to overcome this repeated failure help expose your character.
One student described his ignorance of his brother’s challenges — the writer assumed that because his brother Sam was sociable, Sam was adjusting fine to their family’s move. After an angry outburst from Sam and a long late-night conversation, the writer realizes his need to develop greater sensitivity and empathy. He now strives to recognize and understand others’ struggles, even if they’re not immediately apparent.
“You ruined my life!” After months of quiet anger, my brother finally confronted me. To my shame, I had been appallingly ignorant of his pain.
Despite being twins, Max and I are profoundly different. Having intellectual interests from a young age that, well, interested very few of my peers, I often felt out of step in comparison with my highly-social brother. Everything appeared to come effortlessly for Max and, while we share an extremely tight bond, his frequent time away with friends left me feeling more and more alone as we grew older.
When my parents learned about The Green Academy, we hoped it would be an opportunity for me to find not only an academically challenging environment, but also – perhaps more importantly – a community. This meant transferring the family from Drumfield to Kingston. And while there was concern about Max, we all believed that given his sociable nature, moving would be far less impactful on him than staying put might be on me.
As it turned out, Green Academy was everything I’d hoped for. I was ecstatic to discover a group of students with whom I shared interests and could truly engage. Preoccupied with new friends and a rigorous course load, I failed to notice that the tables had turned. Max, lost in the fray and grappling with how to make connections in his enormous new high school, had become withdrawn and lonely. It took me until Christmas time – and a massive argument – to recognize how difficult the transition had been for my brother, let alone that he blamed me for it.
Through my own journey of searching for academic peers, in addition to coming out as gay when I was 12, I had developed deep empathy for those who had trouble fitting in. It was a pain I knew well and could easily relate to. Yet after Max’s outburst, my first response was to protest that our parents – not I – had chosen to move us here. In my heart, though, I knew that regardless of who had made the decision, we ended up in Kingston for my benefit. I was ashamed that, while I saw myself as genuinely compassionate, I had been oblivious to the heartache of the person closest to me. I could no longer ignore it – and I didn’t want to.
We stayed up half the night talking, and the conversation took an unexpected turn. Max opened up and shared that it wasn’t just about the move. He told me how challenging school had always been for him, due to his dyslexia, and that the ever-present comparison to me had only deepened his pain.
We had been in parallel battles the whole time and, yet, I only saw that Max was in distress once he experienced problems with which I directly identified. I’d long thought Max had it so easy – all because he had friends. The truth was, he didn’t need to experience my personal brand of sorrow in order for me to relate – he had felt plenty of his own.
My failure to recognize Max’s suffering brought home for me the profound universality and diversity of personal struggle; everyone has insecurities, everyone has woes, and everyone – most certainly – has pain. I am acutely grateful for the conversations he and I shared around all of this, because I believe our relationship has been fundamentally strengthened by a deeper understanding of one another. Further, this experience has reinforced the value of constantly striving for deeper sensitivity to the hidden struggles of those around me. I won’t make the mistake again of assuming that the surface of someone’s life reflects their underlying story.
This prompt is difficult to answer because most high schoolers haven’t participated in the types of iconoclastic protests against societal ills that lend themselves to an awe-inspiring response. A more tenable alternative here could be to discuss a time that you went against social norms, whether it was by becoming friends with someone who seemed like an outcast or by proudly showing off a geeky passion.
And if you ever participated in a situation in tandem with adults and found some success (i.e., by blogging, starting a tutoring organization, or participating in political campaigns), you could discuss your experiences as a young person without a college degree in professional circles. However, avoid sounding morally superior (as if you’re the only person who went against this convention, or that you’re better than your peers for doing so).
Another way to answer this prompt is to discuss a time when you noticed a need for change. For example, if you wondered why medical records are often handwritten, or why a doctor’s visit can be long and awkward, maybe you challenged the norm in healthcare by brainstorming an electronic-recording smartphone app or a telemedicine system. In a similar way, if you led a fundraiser and recognized that advertising on social media would be more effective than the traditional use of printed flyers, you could write about a topic along those lines as well. Focus on what action or experience caused you to recognize the need for change and follow with your actions and resulting outcome.
As a whole, this prompt lends itself to reflective writing, and more specifically, talking the reader through your thought processes. In many cases, the exploration of your thought processes and decision-making is more important than the actual outcome or concept in question. In short, this essay is very much about “thinking,” rumination, and inquisition. A good brainstorming exercise for this prompt would be to write your problem on a sheet of paper and then develop various solutions to the problem, including a brief reason for justification. The more thorough you are in justifying and explaining your solutions in the essay, the more compelling your response will be.
While this prompt may seem to be asking a simple question, your answer has the potential to provide deep insights about who you are to the admissions committee. Explaining what you are grateful for can show them your culture, your community, your philosophical outlook on the world, and what makes you tick.
The first step to writing this essay is to think about the “something” and “someone” of your story. It is imperative to talk about a unique moment in your life, as the prompt asks for gratitude that came about in a surprising way. You will want to write about a story that you are certain no one else would have. To brainstorm, ask yourself: “if I told a stranger that I was grateful for what happened to me without any context, would they be surprised?”
Note that the most common answers to this prompt involve a family member, teacher, or sports coach giving the narrator an arduous task ─ which, by the end of the story, the narrator becomes grateful for because of the lessons they learned through their hard work. Try to avoid writing an essay along these lines unless you feel that your take on it will be truly original.
Begin your essay by telling a creative story about the “something” that your “someone” did that made you thankful. Paint a picture with words here ─ establish who you were in the context of your story and make the character development of your “someone” thorough. Show the admissions committee that you have a clear understanding of yourself and the details of your world.
Keep in mind, however, that the essay is ultimately about you and your growth. While you should set the scene clearly, don’t spend too much time talking about the “something” and “someone.”
Your story should then transition into a part about your unexpected epiphany, e.g. “Six months after Leonard gave me that pogo stick, I started to be grateful for the silly thing…” Explain the why of your gratitude as thoroughly as you can before you begin to talk about how your gratitude affected or motivated you. Have a Socratic seminar with yourself in your head ─ ask yourself, “why am I grateful for the pogo stick?” and continue asking why until you arrive at a philosophical conclusion. Perhaps your reason could be that you eventually got used to the odd looks that people gave you as you were pogoing and gained more self-confidence.
Finally, think about how learning to be grateful for something you would not expect to bring you joy and thankfulness has had a positive impact on your life. Gaining more self-confidence, for example, could motivate you to do an infinite number of things that you were not able to attempt in the past. Try to make a conclusion by connecting this part to your story from the beginning of the essay. You want to ultimately show that had [reference to a snippet of your introduction, ideally an absurd part] never have happened, you would not be who you are today.
Remember to express these lessons implicitly through the experiences in your essay, and not explicitly. Show us your growth through the changes in your life rather than simply stating that you gained confidence. For instance, maybe the pogo stick gift led you to start a pogo dance team at your school, and the team went on to perform at large venues to raise money for charity. But before your pogo days, you had crippling stage fright and hated even giving speeches in your English class. These are the kinds of details that make your essay more engaging.
This prompt is expansive in that you can choose any accomplishment, event, or realization that sparked personal growth or new understanding.
One option is to discuss a formal accomplishment or event (whether it is a religious ritual or social rite of passage) that reflects personal growth. If you go this route, make sure to discuss why the ritual was meaningful and how specific aspects of said ritual contributed to your personal growth. An example of this could be the meaning of becoming an Eagle Scout to you, the accomplishment of being elected to Senior Leadership, or completing a Confirmation. In the case of religious topics, however, be sure to not get carried away with details, and focus on the nature of your personal growth and new understanding — know your audience.
Alternatively, a more relaxed way to address this prompt is using an informal event or realization, which would allow you to show more personality and creativity. An example of this could be learning how to bake with your mother, thus sparking a newfound connection with her, allowing you to learn about her past. Having a long discussion about life or philosophy with your father could also suffice, thus sparking more thoughts about your identity. You could write about a realization that caused you to join a new organization or quit an activity you did not think you would enjoy, as doing so would force you to grow out of your comfort zone to try new things.
The key to answering this prompt is clearly defining what it is that sparked your growth, and then describing in detail the nature of this growth and how it related to your perception of yourself and others. This part of the essay is crucial, as you must dedicate sufficient time to not undersell the description of how you grew instead of simply explaining the experience and then saying, “I grew.” This description of how you grew must be specific, in-depth, and it does not have to be simple. Your growth can also be left open-ended if you are still learning from your experiences today.
One student wrote about how her single mother’s health crisis prompted her to quickly assume greater responsibility as a fourteen-year-old. This essay describes the new tasks she undertook, as well as how the writer now more greatly cherishes her time with her mother.
Tears streamed down my face and my mind was paralyzed with fear. Sirens blared, but the silent panic in my own head was deafening. I was muted by shock. A few hours earlier, I had anticipated a vacation in Washington, D.C., but unexpectedly, I was rushing to the hospital behind an ambulance carrying my mother. As a fourteen-year-old from a single mother household, without a driver’s license, and seven hours from home, I was distraught over the prospect of losing the only parent I had. My fear turned into action as I made some of the bravest decisions of my life.
Three blood transfusions later, my mother’s condition was stable, but we were still states away from home, so I coordinated with my mother’s doctors in North Carolina to schedule the emergency operation that would save her life. Throughout her surgery, I anxiously awaited any word from her surgeon, but each time I asked, I was told that there had been another complication or delay. Relying on my faith and positive attitude, I remained optimistic that my mother would survive and that I could embrace new responsibilities.
My mother had been a source of strength for me, and now I would be strong for her through her long recovery ahead. As I started high school, everyone thought the crisis was over, but it had really just started to impact my life. My mother was often fatigued, so I assumed more responsibility, juggling family duties, school, athletics, and work. I made countless trips to the neighborhood pharmacy, cooked dinner, biked to the grocery store, supported my concerned sister, and provided the loving care my mother needed to recover. I didn’t know I was capable of such maturity and resourcefulness until it was called upon. Each day was a stage in my gradual transformation from dependence to relative independence.
Throughout my mother’s health crisis, I matured by learning to put others’ needs before my own. As I worried about my mother’s health, I took nothing for granted, cherished what I had, and used my daily activities as motivation to move forward. I now take ownership over small decisions such as scheduling daily appointments and managing my time but also over major decisions involving my future, including the college admissions process. Although I have become more independent, my mother and I are inseparably close, and the realization that I almost lost her affects me daily. Each morning, I wake up ten minutes early simply to eat breakfast with my mother and spend time with her before our busy days begin. I am aware of how quickly life can change. My mother remains a guiding force in my life, but the feeling of empowerment I discovered within myself is the ultimate form of my independence. Though I thought the summer before my freshman year would be a transition from middle school to high school, it was a transformation from childhood to adulthood.
This prompt allows you to expand and deepen a seemingly small or simple idea, topic, or concept. One example could be “stars,” in that you could describe stargazing as a child, counting them, recognizing constellations, and then transforming that initial captivation into a deeper appreciation of the cosmos as a whole, spurring a love of astronomy and physics.
Another example could be “language,” discussing how it has evolved and changed over the course of history, how it allows you to look deeper into different cultures, and how learning different languages stretches the mind. A tip for expanding on these topics and achieving specificity is to select particular details of the topic that you find intriguing and explain why.
For example, if you’re passionate about cooking or baking, you could use specific details by explaining, in depth, the intricate attention and artistry necessary to make a dish or dessert. You can delve into why certain spices or garnishes are superior in different situations, how flavors blend well together and can be mixed creatively, or even the chemistry differences between steaming, searing, and grilling.
Regardless of your topic, this prompt provides a great opportunity to display writing prowess through elegant, specific descriptions that leverage sensory details. Describing the beauty of the night sky, the rhythms and sounds of different languages, or the scent of a crème brûlée shows passion and captivation in a very direct, evocative way.
The key to writing this essay is answering the question of why something captivates you instead of simply ending with “I love surfing.” A tip would be to play off your senses (for applicable topics), think about what you see, feel, smell, hear, and taste.
In the case of surfing, the salty water, weightlessness of bobbing over the waves, and fresh air could cater to senses. Alternatively, for less physical topics, you can use a train of thought and descriptions to show how deeply and vividly your mind dwells on the topic.
Well-executed trains of thought or similar tactics are successful ways to convey passion for a certain topic. To answer what or who you turn to when you want to learn more, you can be authentic and honest—if it’s Wikipedia, a teacher, friend, YouTube Channel, etc., you simply have to show how you interact with the medium.
When brainstorming this particular essay, a tip would be to use a web diagram, placing the topic in the middle and thinking about branching characteristics, themes, or concepts related to the topic that are directly engaging and captivating to you. In doing so, you’ll be able to gauge the depth of the topic and whether it will suffice for this prompt.
In the following example, a student shares their journey as they learn to appreciate a piece of their culture’s cuisine.
As a wide-eyed, naive seven-year-old, I watched my grandmother’s rough, wrinkled hands pull and knead mercilessly at white dough until the countertop was dusted in flour. She steamed small buns in bamboo baskets, and a light sweetness lingered in the air. Although the mantou looked delicious, their papery, flat taste was always an unpleasant surprise. My grandmother scolded me for failing to finish even one, and when I complained about the lack of flavor she would simply say that I would find it as I grew older. How did my adult relatives seem to enjoy this Taiwanese culinary delight while I found it so plain?
During my journey to discover the essence of mantou, I began to see myself the same way I saw the steamed bun. I believed that my writing would never evolve beyond a hobby and that my quiet nature crippled my ambitions. Ultimately, I thought I had little to offer the world. In middle school, it was easy for me to hide behind the large personalities of my friends, blending into the background and keeping my thoughts company. Although writing had become my emotional outlet, no matter how well I wrote essays, poetry, or fiction, I could not stand out in a sea of talented students. When I finally gained the confidence to submit my poetry to literary journals but was promptly rejected, I stepped back from my work to begin reading from Whitman to Dickinson, Li-Young Lee to Ocean Vuong. It was then that I realized I had been holding back a crucial ingredient–my distinct voice.
Over time, my taste buds began to mature, as did I. Mantou can be flavored with pork and eggplant, sweetened in condensed milk, and moistened or dried by the steam’s temperature. After I ate the mantou with each of these factors in mind, I noticed its environment enhanced a delicately woven strand of sweetness beneath the taste of side dishes: the sugar I had often watched my grandmother sift into the flour. The taste was nearly untraceable, but once I grasped it I could truly begin to cherish mantou. In the same way the taste had been lost to me for years, my writer’s voice had struggled to shine through because of my self-doubt and fear of vulnerability.
As I acquired a taste for mantou, I also began to strengthen my voice through my surrounding environment. With the support of my parents, peer poets, and the guidance of Amy Tan and the Brontё sisters, I worked tirelessly to uncover my voice: a subtle strand of sweetness. Once I stopped trying to fit into a publishing material mold and infused my uninhibited passion for my Taiwanese heritage into my writing, my poem was published in a literary journal. I wrote about the blatant racism Asians endured during coronavirus, and the editor of Skipping Stones Magazine was touched by both my poem and my heartfelt letter. I opened up about being ridiculed for bringing Asian food to school at Youth Leadership Forum, providing support to younger Asian-American students who reached out with the relief of finding someone they could relate to. I embraced writing as a way to convey my struggle with cultural identity. I joined the school’s creative writing club and read my pieces in front of an audience, honing my voice into one that flourishes out loud as well.
Now, I write and speak unapologetically, falling in love with a voice that I never knew I had. It inspires passion within my communities and imparts tenacity to Asian-American youth, rooting itself deeply into everything I write. Today, my grandmother would say that I have finally unearthed the taste of mantou as I savor every bite with a newfound appreciation. I can imagine her hands shaping the dough that has become my voice, and I am eager to share it with the world.
Your GPA and SAT don’t tell the full admissions story
We’ll let you know what your chances are at your dream schools!
This prompt allows you to express what you want to express if it doesn’t align directly with the other prompts. While this prompt is very open-ended, it doesn’t mean you can adapt any essay you’ve written and think it will suffice. Always refer back to the Strategy section of this article and make sure the topic and essay of your choice addresses the Core Four questions necessary for a good Common App essay.
This prompt, more than the others, poses a high risk but also a high-potential reward. Writing your own question allows you to demonstrate individuality and confidence. Here, you can craft an innovative essay that tackles a difficult topic (for example, whether to raise or lower taxes) or presents information with a unique format (such as a conversation with an historical figure).
We encourage you to try something unconventional for this prompt, like comparing your personality to a Picasso painting, using an extended philosophical metaphor to describe your four years of high school, or writing in a poetic style to display your love of poetry. If you are extremely passionate about a topic or an expert in a certain area, for example Renaissance technology or journalism during World War II, you can use this prompt to show your authority on a subject by discussing it at a high level.
Be careful to frame the essay in a way that is accessible to the average reader while still incorporating quality evidence and content that would qualify you as an expert. As always, exercise caution in writing about controversial social or political topics, and always make sure to consider your audience and what they’re looking for in a student.
Sometimes an unconventional essay can capture Admissions Officers’ attention and move them in a profound way; other times, the concept can fly completely over their heads. Be sure to execute the essay clearly and justify your decision by seeking high-quality feedback from reliable sources. As always, the essay should demonstrate something meaningful about you, whether it is your personality, thought process, or values.
Here’s what the experts have to say about this prompt…
This prompt, like the others, is really asking you to tell the story of who you are. Your essay should be personal and should talk about something significant that has shaped your identity.
Here are a few broad themes that can work well: academic interest; culture, values, and diversity; extracurricular interests; and your impact on the community. You should highlight one of these themes using creative, vividly descriptive narrative. Make sure to not fall into the common pitfall of talking about something else -- an extracurricular activity, for example -- more than yourself.
A student I advised had a great idea to respond to this prompt -- an essay about how they do their best thinking while sitting on a tree branch near their home. Not only was it unique and personal, but it allowed the student to show what they think about, dream about, and value. That's the main goal for any applicant responding to prompt 7.
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Alex Oddo Advisor on CollegeVine
All of the Common App prompts are broad in scope, but this one really takes the cake! I typically advise using the first six prompts as guardrails for your brainstorm, but in doing so, you may come up with a topic that doesn’t cleanly fit with any of the first six prompts. That’s where this prompt can come in handy.
Or, you might have an idea that’s really out there (like writing about your love of sonnets as a series of sonnets). Essentially, this prompt is a good fit for essays that are anywhere from slightly unconventional to extremely atypical.
If this all feels a bit confusing - don’t worry! How you write your story is much more important than what prompt you end up choosing. At the end of the day, these are just guides to help you cultivate a topic and are not meant to stress you out.
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Priya Desai Advisor on CollegeVine
Students who want to complete the CommonApp’s seventh prompt need to have already gone through the other prompts and determined that their story cannot fit with those. Thus, generally speaking, I advise my students to not use the final prompt unless it is absolutely necessary.
If an admission officer believes that your essay could have been used with one of the other prompts, this may lead them to have a perception about you as a student that might not be accurate.
Nevertheless, as my colleagues have pointed out, what matters is the essay the most and not necessarily the prompt. That being said, the test of whether or not you as a student can follow directions is part of the prompt selection and how well you answer it. If you choose the final prompt and yet your answer could work with another available prompt, this will not put you in your best light.
In conclusion, only use this prompt when absolutely necessary, and remember that the purpose of the personal statement is to give the admissions officers a glimpse into who you are as a person, so you want to use this space to showcase beautiful you.
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Veronica Prout Advisor on CollegeVine
Where to get your common app essay edited.
At selective schools, your essays account for around 25% of your admissions decision. That’s more than grades (20%) and test scores (15%), and almost as much as extracurriculars (30%). Why is this? Most students applying to top schools will have stellar academics and extracurriculars. Your essays are your chance to stand out and humanize your application. That’s why it’s vital that your essays are engaging, and present you as someone who would enrich the campus community.
Before submitting your application, you should have someone else review your essays. That’s why we created our free Peer Essay Review tool , where you can get a free review of your essay from another student. You can also improve your own writing skills by reviewing other students’ essays.
If you want a college admissions expert to review your essay, advisors on CollegeVine have helped students refine their writing and submit successful applications to top schools. Find the right advisor for you to improve your chances of getting into your dream school!
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Writing a college application essay can be a difficult and intimidating endeavor. With limited word counts, strict prompts, and high expectations to create a stand-out composition that accurately portrays you for admissions officers and other school representatives, it can take a lot of work to know where to begin!
That’s why we have the perfect solution for you. Let’s explore our Common App essay examples. These will help you make college admissions stand out and show off your unique skills and experiences.
The Common App essay is a personal statement and your primary writing sample that is a part of the Common Application, an online application platform used by over 900 colleges, universities, and colleges across the US.
It is a crucial component of the college application process, as each institution that accepts the Common App will assess your essay to gain insights into your character, background, and potential value as a student.
Video: The Best Way to Start & End a College Essay in 2024! | Tips for Common App and Supplementals
This is your opportunity to make a compelling personal statement to admissions officers at schools that use the Common App. When you log into your Common App account and navigate to the "Writing" section, you'll be presented with a list of seven essay prompts and detailed directions for completing each. One of the seven popular app essay prompts requires you to write college essays between 250 and 650 words long.
This statement is intended to assist you in identifying your strengths, interests, and experiences. If your topic addresses the prompt, you can talk about almost anything. It is also open in terms of style and storyline.
Keep in mind that some institutions may require additional essays along with the Common App essay, so be sure to review the specific requirements for each school you're applying to.
Video: Stanford Students Reveal What They Wrote Their Common App Essays About | Open Up
The process of writing your college essays can be challenging. Luckily, many college admissions essay examples will help inspire your work and give you confidence as you enter the next step in your educational journey.
The “Why Us” App Essay
This essay asks students to explain why they are interested in attending a specific university or college. Through this essay, students can highlight their unique qualities and explain why they would be a good fit for the school they are applying to.
Sample Answer from AFSA by Francesca Kelly: “ I did everything I was supposed to do. I planted long, sinewy aquarium plants. I obsessively checked the temperature and the pH of the water. I created small refuges by piling rocks in the corner of the tank so that crevices formed. Yet, for three years, I was left disappointed. Now, just this week, my hard work paid off: my pair of firemouth cichlids produced fry, filling my aquarium with dozens of tiny slivers darting here and there. This, my first successful attempt at creating the conditions necessary for spawning, marks the highlight of my years as a tropical fish hobbyist.
When I read that Wonderful College’s marine biology program includes an aquarium management minor, I jumped up from my desk with excitement. My interest in ichthyology extends from the theoretical and research components to the practical: I love maintaining aquariums. I will enthusiastically register for Wonderful College’s classes “Brackish Water Species” and “Rescuing Our Coral Reefs.” I have already read Professor Anthony Pescatore’s book, The Fish Hobbyist’s Bible, and I look forward to taking part in his aquarium club. I’m also excited about field trips to the John D. Pickering Aquarium downtown.”
In addition, I hope to take advantage of the marine biology study abroad program to Sumatra where I can observe unique species found nowhere else. For these reasons and many others, I’m certain Wonderful College is the optimal place to continue expanding my knowledge in the field of marine biology and ichthyology.”
Why This Essay Works?
This essay effectively connects the student's passion for tropical fish and aquarium management with specific offerings at Wonderful College. The vivid opening anecdote showcases the student's long-term commitment and recent success in breeding firemouth cichlids, grabbing the reader's attention and setting the stage for their enthusiasm for the college's marine biology program.
The essay seamlessly transitions into discussing specific courses, professors, extracurricular opportunities, and study abroad programs that align with the student's interests. By demonstrating a thorough understanding of the university's offerings and expressing genuine excitement for participating in them, the student crafts a compelling narrative that highlights their fit with Wonderful College.
Prospective students can learn from this example by showcasing their passions, researching specific offerings at their target universities, and clearly connecting their interests with the available opportunities.
Sample Answer from "Sustainable Future" by Liam Nguyen: " As a passionate environmentalist, I have always been drawn to the idea of sustainable living and the protection of our planet's resources. When I discovered that Greenville University offers a unique program in Environmental Studies with a focus on urban sustainability, I knew it was the perfect fit for me.
Greenville's commitment to creating a greener future aligns perfectly with my own values and aspirations. The opportunity to learn from renowned faculty members such as Professor Samantha Torres, whose groundbreaking research on urban ecology has been published in numerous journals, would be an incredible honor.
Additionally, the university's partnerships with local environmental organizations and its dedication to community outreach demonstrate a genuine desire to make a positive impact on the world. I am excited about the prospect of contributing to this mission while developing the skills and knowledge necessary to become a leader in the field of sustainable urban development. "
This essay effectively demonstrates the student's passion for environmentalism and sustainable living, while also showcasing their knowledge of Greenville University's specific programs and initiatives. By mentioning a specific faculty member and her research, the student displays a genuine interest in the university and its academic offerings.
Additionally, the essay highlights the student's alignment with the university's values and their desire to contribute to its mission of creating a greener future. Prospective students can learn from this example by conducting thorough research on their target universities, identifying specific programs, faculty, and initiatives that align with their interests and goals, and demonstrating how they plan to contribute to the university's community and mission.
Video: 6 Common App Essay Mistakes To Avoid | i've edited 50+ essays
The “Diversity” App Essay
A college or university asks students to elaborate on how they plan to contribute to diversity in their student body. Students are encouraged to share their experiences and cultural backgrounds through this essay.
Sample Answer from Scribbed by Kirsten Courault: “The smell of the early morning dew and the welcoming whinnies of my family’s horses are some of my most treasured childhood memories. To this day, our farm remains so rural that we do not have broadband access, and we’re too far away from the closest town for the postal service to reach us.
Going to school regularly was always a struggle: between the unceasing demands of the farm and our lack of connectivity, it was hard to keep up with my studies. Despite being a voracious reader, avid amateur chemist, and active participant in the classroom, emergencies and unforeseen events at the farm meant that I had a lot of unexcused absences.
Although it had challenges, my upbringing taught me resilience, the value of hard work, and the importance of family. Staying up all night to watch a foal being born, successfully saving the animals from a minor fire, and finding ways to soothe a nervous mare afraid of thunder have led to an unbreakable family bond.
Our farm is my family’s birthright and our livelihood, and I am eager to learn how to ensure the farm’s financial and technological success for future generations. In college, I am looking forward to joining a chapter of Future Farmers of America and studying agricultural business to carry my family’s legacy forward.”
This essay effectively showcases the student's unique background and how it has shaped their values, character, and future aspirations. By vividly describing life on a rural farm, the student demonstrates their resilience, passion for learning, and strong work ethic in the face of challenges such as limited access to broadband and difficulties attending school regularly.
The specific examples of staying up all night to watch a foal being born and saving animals from a fire illustrate the valuable life lessons they have learned and the strong family bonds they have formed.
Moreover, the student effectively connects their background and values to their future goals, expressing a desire to study agricultural business and join the Future Farmers of America organization. This demonstrates a clear sense of purpose and a commitment to using their education to ensure the success and continuity of their family's farm.
Prospective students can learn from this example by reflecting on how their unique experiences have shaped their character, values, and aspirations, and by connecting their background to their future goals to craft compelling essays that showcase their diversity and potential to contribute to the college community.
Sample Answer from "Embracing Diversity" by Aaliyah Patel: "Growing up as a first-generation Indian-American, I often found myself navigating between two distinct cultures. At home, I was immersed in the vibrant traditions, languages, and customs of my parents' homeland, while at school, I sought to fit in with my peers and embrace the American way of life. This constant balancing act was not always easy, but it taught me the value of diversity and the importance of embracing one's unique identity.
As I grew older, I began to appreciate the richness that my multicultural background brought to my life. I realized that my experiences and perspective could contribute to a more inclusive and understanding society. This realization inspired me to become actively involved in my high school's Diversity Club, where I worked with students from various backgrounds to promote cultural awareness and celebrate our differences.
One of the most impactful initiatives I led was organizing a school-wide Diversity Day, which featured performances, workshops, and discussions aimed at fostering a deeper understanding and appreciation for the diverse tapestry of our student body. Seeing the positive response from my classmates and teachers reinforced my belief in the power of embracing diversity and creating spaces where everyone feels valued and respected.
I am excited to continue my journey of promoting diversity and inclusion at Columbia University. With its vibrant multicultural community and commitment to social justice, Columbia offers the perfect environment for me to grow as a leader and advocate for positive change.
I look forward to contributing my unique perspective and experiences to the campus community while learning from and collaborating with students from all walks of life. Together, I believe we can work towards building a more inclusive and equitable world."
Why This Essay Works
This essay powerfully illustrates the student's personal growth and commitment to promoting diversity and inclusion. By sharing her experience as a first-generation Indian-American navigating between two cultures, Aaliyah demonstrates how her unique background has shaped her values and perspective. Her story resonates with admissions officers looking for students who can contribute to a diverse campus community.
Moreover, the essay highlights Aaliyah's leadership skills and initiative in organizing a school-wide Diversity Day event. This concrete example showcases her ability to turn her passion for diversity into meaningful action that positively impacts her community. By expressing her excitement to continue this work at Columbia University, Aaliyah demonstrates her potential to contribute to the university's vibrant multicultural community and commitment to social justice.
Prospective students can learn from this example by reflecting on their own experiences with diversity, highlighting their leadership roles in promoting inclusion, and connecting their passion to their target university's values and community.
Video: how to write your ENTIRE common app essay (step by step guide)
The "Challenges" App Essay
The “challenges” common app essay example asks students to explain a challenge they have faced, how they overcame it, and how they applied what they learned to their daily lives. Students can share their personal stories and illustrate their resilience through this essay.
Sample Answer from Essaymaster by Esme: “Ten minutes before my orchestra and I were due to perform what would be my first symphony, our conductor called us into the wings of the stage for a pep talk. He told us how hard we had all worked, and I could tell that he was struggling to say something that would truly inspire a group of excited twelve and thirteen year olds. After about six minutes of clichés, he looked at his watch and hurriedly delivered his closing line: “One day, you’ll reach a point where you don’t get nervous anymore.”
A point where you don’t get nervous anymore.
That night, I embarked on a mission to find that point. I’ve performed at concert halls, churches, and venues all over the U.K. I’ve played as a soloist and as part of an ensemble to packed audiences. I’ve auditioned for seats in orchestras and for conservatories. I’ve performed at examinations on three different instruments. And yet, this point eludes me, the point at which I no longer feel my own anxiety, worries, and doubts about the performance I am about to give. I have yet to reach this magical and amazing place. And recently, I decided to stop looking.
I gave up my quest for this “point” during a concert with my orchestra. We were performing a piece by Debussy, one I had fallen in love with as soon as I played it. I was the first-chair oboist, and toward the end of the piece is an oboe solo; completely exposed, extremely difficult to play, and powerful enough to render the entire performance either incredible or mediocre. Needless to say, I was so nervous that I was sure that members of the audience could hear my frantic breathing onstage as we drew closer to the solo, measure by measure. As I took a breath to begin playing, I closed my eyes and thought of all hours I had practiced, all tiny details I needed to remember while playing, all of the amazing performances I had heard. I thought of how transcendent and haunting I wanted it to sound, how I wanted every member of the audience to freeze and just listen. And I played it. Every note sounded exactly as I imagined it, and every pitch released another burst of adrenaline in my body. As the solo came to a close, the entire orchestra launched into the finale, filling the concert hall with a sound so rich and powerful I felt that I was going to burst. As I sustained the last note of the piece with the 80 other musicians on stage, I thought, “Why would you ever want to reach a point without nerves, when overcoming nervousness delivers so much?”
I stopped looking for a place without anxiety because I realized that this “point” was really just code for a place of apathy. I thought I was looking for a state of being in which I would be entirely professional and calm, but I discovered that it is the on-edge feelings and challenges that sharpen me and make my performance worthwhile, and the wide range of emotions that make a performance incredible. I am convinced that this is true of life in general, and whether I’m swimming in a race, completely in tune with my environment, taking a test where I feel confident and prepared, or playing my instruments in performance; I never forget that I am in a race, an exam, or a performance, and the result reflects hours of preparation and hard work. In music and in life it is important to recognize and remember that while a place of serenity and competence seems appealing, to reach it would render every aspect of life mundane, numb, and ordinary. By contrast, pushing oneself to do better, to play better, to be better makes hard-earned accomplishments and experiences memorable. And if the price for excellence is a little anxiety, I am more than willing to pay it.”
This essay is a powerful reflection on the student's journey to understand the role of anxiety and nervousness in their musical performances. The vivid opening anecdote sets the stage for the student's quest to find a point where they no longer feel nervous, and the series of specific examples demonstrates their dedication to their craft.
The turning point comes during a solo performance of a piece by Debussy, where the student realizes that embracing nerves and challenges is what makes a performance truly remarkable. By extending this insight to life in general and concluding that a little anxiety is a price worth paying for excellence, the student demonstrates a mature and introspective perspective on personal growth and achievement.
The essay's structure effectively conveys the student's journey of self-discovery, and its introspective and honest tone serves as a model for how students can convey their unique voice and personality through their writing. Prospective students can learn from this example by reflecting on their own experiences with challenges and personal growth, using specific anecdotes to illustrate their insights, and connecting their realizations to a broader perspective on life and success.
Sample Answer from "Overcoming Adversity" by Marcus Thompson: "As I stood at the starting line of my first cross-country race, I felt a mix of excitement and nervousness. I had trained hard for this moment, pushing myself to run faster and longer distances than I ever had before. However, as the race began and I settled into my pace, I suddenly felt a sharp pain in my right knee. Every step became increasingly painful, but I was determined to finish the race.
Crossing the finish line was a bittersweet moment. I was proud of my accomplishment but knew that something was wrong with my knee. After visiting a doctor, I received the devastating news that I had a torn meniscus and would need surgery. The recovery process was long and challenging, filled with physical therapy sessions and the frustration of not being able to run.
Despite the setback, I refused to let this injury define me. I channeled my energy into my studies and discovered a new passion for writing. I joined the school newspaper and poured my heart into every article, finding joy in sharing stories and perspectives with my peers. Through this experience, I learned that challenges can often lead to unexpected opportunities for growth and self-discovery.
As my knee healed and I gradually returned to running, I approached the sport with a new mindset. I no longer focused solely on competition but rather on the joy of pushing myself to be the best version of myself. I learned to listen to my body, to rest when needed, and to celebrate every small victory along the way.
Overcoming this challenge taught me resilience, adaptability, and the importance of maintaining a positive outlook in the face of adversity. These lessons have served me well not only in running but in all aspects of my life, and I know they will continue to guide me as I pursue my future goals."
This essay effectively demonstrates the student's ability to overcome adversity and find personal growth in the face of a challenging situation. The vivid opening immediately engages the reader, and the honest reflection on the difficulties of the recovery process showcases the student's vulnerability and resilience.
By highlighting their adaptability and positive outlook in channeling energy into a new passion for writing, the student demonstrates maturity and a growth mindset. The student's shift in perspective towards running, focusing on personal growth and listening to their body, exhibits a healthy approach to overcoming challenges.
The essay concludes by emphasizing the broader impact of the lessons learned, showing how the student's personal growth has prepared them for future challenges. Prospective students can learn from this example by reflecting on their own experiences with overcoming adversity, highlighting the personal growth and insights gained, and demonstrating how these lessons have shaped their character and goals.
Video: 5 common app essay mistakes to stop doing, like, yesterday
The “Community” App Essay
In the essay portion of the application, students are asked to share how they have made a difference in their community, whether through volunteer work, mentoring, or other activities. For this essay, students will be able to display their leadership qualities and commitment to service to others.
Sample Answer from Baylor University : “Since getting involved in helping the homeless, I learned that for a time one of my relatives was homeless. When you have a house it’s easy to take it for granted, but all it takes is some bad luck for you to lose it. This is why I feel it’s so important that we all try to help those who have no home to go to.
As hard as it was to motivate others to volunteer and help out with our fundraiser, it was worth it in the end. We raised over $1,000 for the hurricane victims. Now when we see news coverage of that terrible disaster at least we know that we have done our small part to help.
The reward for being a coach has nothing to do with winning games. The reward is seeing everyone working as a team and enjoying the game. Win or lose, as coach you’re always proud after each game.”
Why this essay works
This essay effectively showcases the student's commitment to serving their community and the personal growth they experienced through their involvement. By sharing the revelation that a relative was homeless, the student demonstrates empathy and a deeper understanding of the importance of helping others.
The essay also highlights the student's leadership skills and determination in organizing a fundraiser for hurricane victims, despite the challenges faced in motivating others to volunteer. Furthermore, the student's reflection on the rewards of being a coach emphasizes the value they place on teamwork and the joy of the game, rather than solely focusing on winning.
This insight demonstrates maturity and a strong sense of character. Prospective students can learn from this example by reflecting on their own experiences in serving their community, highlighting the personal growth and lessons learned, and showcasing their leadership skills and values.
Sample Answer from "ServingCommunity" by Emily Nguyen: "Growing up in a tight-knit Vietnamese community, I witnessed firsthand the challenges faced by many immigrant families. Language barriers, cultural differences, and limited access to resources often hindered their ability to thrive in their new home. Recognizing the need for support, I decided to take action and co-founded a volunteer organization dedicated to assisting immigrant families in my community.
Our organization, "Bridging Cultures," focuses on providing English language classes, cultural orientation workshops, and mentoring programs to help immigrant families navigate their new environment. As a co-founder and lead volunteer, I have had the privilege of working directly with families, understanding their unique needs, and tailoring our programs to best support them.
One of the most rewarding experiences has been witnessing the progress and empowerment of the families we serve. I remember working with a single mother who had recently arrived from Vietnam with her two young children. When we first met, she was struggling to communicate in English and felt overwhelmed by the challenges of adapting to a new culture. Over the course of several months, I worked closely with her, teaching her English, helping her navigate the school system, and connecting her with local resources. Seeing her confidence grow and her children thrive in school has been an incredible joy and reinforces the importance of the work we do.
Through my involvement with "Bridging Cultures," I have gained a deeper appreciation for the resilience and strength of immigrant families. I have learned the value of compassion, patience, and the power of community in effecting positive change. As I look to the future, I am committed to continuing my work with immigrant communities and advocating for policies that promote inclusivity and equality. My experiences have shaped my desire to pursue a career in social work, where I can continue to make a difference in the lives of others and contribute to building a more just and equitable society."
This essay effectively demonstrates the student's deep commitment to serving their community and the significant impact they have made through their volunteer work. The student's leadership and initiative are evident through the co-founding of "Bridging Cultures" and their hands-on involvement in providing support to immigrant families.
The specific example of working with a single mother and her children showcases the student's dedication, compassion, and the tangible difference they have made in the lives of others. Moreover, the essay highlights the student's personal growth, the valuable lessons they have learned, and their strong sense of social responsibility.
By connecting their experiences to their future goals and aspirations in social work, the student demonstrates a clear sense of purpose and direction, making the essay compelling and memorable. Prospective students can learn from this example by reflecting on their own community service experiences, providing specific examples of their impact, discussing personal growth and lessons learned, and connecting these experiences to their future goals.
The "Extra-Curricular Activities" App Essay
Students are asked to discuss their involvement in extracurricular activities outside of school and how they have helped them develop as a person in the “extra-curricular activities” common app essay example. As part of this essay, students showcase their interests and talents outside of academics.
Sample Answers from Prompt by Brad Schiller: “I couldn’t believe it. My soccer team was discussing whether or not to schedule an extra practice during the upcoming long weekend. “Of course, yes,” I was thinking. But, shockingly, the room was not with me. A quick consensus formed around no added practice. It was my tipping point — I finally saw that I needed to convey to this team that settling for mediocre was not an option, and that none of us would regret doing what it takes to win.”
This essay effectively showcases the student's leadership skills and their unwavering commitment to excellence. The opening anecdote immediately draws the reader in, presenting a relatable situation that highlights the student's unique perspective and drive. By expressing their disbelief at the team's decision and their realization that they needed to take action, the student demonstrates a strong sense of initiative and a willingness to challenge the status quo.
The essay's concise and powerful language conveys the student's passion and determination to inspire their team to strive for greatness. The concluding statement, emphasizing that "none of us would regret doing what it takes to win," underscores the student's leadership abilities and their belief in the importance of hard work and dedication.
Prospective students can learn from this example by reflecting on moments when they have taken initiative, showcased leadership, and promoted a strong work ethic within a team or group setting. By crafting a compelling narrative that highlights these qualities, students can effectively demonstrate their potential to contribute to their chosen college community.
Sample Answer from "Debate and Leadership" by Rashid Patel: "As I stepped up to the podium, my heart raced with a mix of excitement and nervousness. It was the final round of the state debate championship, and I was representing my high school in the most important debate of my career thus far. Months of research, preparation, and practice had led to this moment, and I was determined to make my team and school proud.
Debate has been an integral part of my high school experience, not only shaping my academic and intellectual growth but also fostering my leadership skills. As team captain, I've had the privilege of guiding and mentoring younger students, helping them develop their public speaking abilities and critical thinking skills. Seeing their confidence grow as they learned to construct compelling arguments and articulate their thoughts clearly has been one of the most rewarding aspects of my involvement in debate.
Beyond the debate room, I've sought to apply the lessons learned through debate to other areas of my life. As student body president, I've utilized the communication and problem-solving skills honed through debate to bridge gaps between students and administration, advocating for changes that improve the overall school experience for my peers. From successfully lobbying for healthier cafeteria options to organizing school-wide events that promote inclusivity and school spirit, I've seen firsthand the power of effective communication and leadership in driving positive change.
As I reflect on my high school journey, I am grateful for the opportunities debate has provided me to grow as a student, leader, and individual. The skills I have developed – the ability to think critically, communicate persuasively, and lead with empathy and understanding – are invaluable assets that I will carry with me throughout college and beyond. I am excited to continue exploring new avenues for growth and leadership in the future, knowing that the foundation built through debate will serve me well in any path I choose to pursue."
This essay effectively highlights the student's dedication to debate and the significant impact it has had on their personal and academic growth. By opening with a vivid description of the state debate championship, the student immediately engages the reader and sets the stage for discussing their passion for debate. The essay emphasizes the student's leadership role as team captain and their commitment to mentoring younger students, demonstrating their ability to guide and inspire others.
Moreover, the student effectively connects the skills gained through debate to their leadership roles outside the debate room. By discussing their achievements as student body president, the student showcases their ability to apply the lessons learned through debate to effect positive change in their school community.
The essay concludes by reflecting on the enduring value of the skills developed through debate, demonstrating the student's self-awareness and forward-thinking perspective. Prospective students can learn from this example by highlighting their own extra-curricular passions, discussing the transferable skills gained, and reflecting on how these experiences have shaped their personal growth and future goals.
The "Personal Statement" App Essay
This is your chance to explain yourself to admissions officers and tell them more about who you are, not just what you’re studying. This type of essay allows you to discuss anything you think will help admissions officers understand you, whether it’s your background, family, hobbies, interests, achievements, or goals.
Sample Answer from Tufts University by Kaycee Conover: “On one hot night in a dark room at the heart of Boston, I became friends with 19,580 people in one single moment. We had all journeyed to the TD Garden from wherever we were in our lives to see Tom Petty perform. I knew his music because my mother had shared it with me. It meant something to her and it meant something to me. His music meant something different to every person in that room and all those meanings, all infinite number of them, wrapped around the music notes and existed in harmony on that July night. I had to close my eyes. It was as if I could hear the heartbeats of every person in that room, pulsing along with the rhythm of the music. By sharing his music, Tom Petty gave me a striking awareness of 19,580 people that live and feel alongside each other. Tom Petty will live as long as people feel.
Lights flashing beyond my eyelids, I could feel what it was like to live more lives than just my own. Tom Petty’s art described his life, but it has weaved its way into those of so many others. My own, my mother’s then and when she was my age, and all the strangers around me who didn’t seem so strange anymore. We all have to go through our own lives and our own challenges, but just because we have our own lessons to learn doesn’t mean we are alone. I looked into the smiles of the crowd, the dancing arms and carefree yes, and realised we were all feeling something of our own. But we were feeling it all together.
With the shared heart of others, I can travel vertically through time and horizontally through space. I long to make connections and there are no boundaries that limit how this can be done, not even time and not even space. Imagine trying to count how many people have ever been inspired by the Beatles! Music is an honesty that you embrace more than escape. I sit in front of my piano for hours, copying the rhythm of until it feels right. I’ll never tire of hearing another tell me how they’re feeling without using any words at all and letting it become part of me. You can’t hide from your feelings when someone else is telling them to you.
And so I have become a curator of feeling. I am always listening, collecting the art of others. I have stared at paintings until they stared back at me. I cry while I watch almost every film, sometimes just because the characters are nice to each other. I’m as moved by the narrative of my old American Girl Doll books as I am by Dickens. It’s all swirls of feelings, of lessons from others that mirror those you need to learn yourself. Art embodies empathy and empathy has become too easy to lose touch with. Art is the same world seen from a different heart. I look at characters or creators and think, “How did you become the way you are?” I can look at others and think the same thing. And I have the chance the ask them.
Tom Petty did not write “Breakdown” just for me. Hard Promises comforts more than just me. I cannot live life from just my own perspective. Art exists in everyone. I embrace my hour-long commute to school as a chance to start conversations through the life that flows from my speakers, using old tunes to understand the world through my neighbors as we talk of our favourite colours or the abstract nature of time. My dad doesn’t seem so distant when we talk about our mutual love for The Band. This is how our moments are made. This is how we find the music that surrounds all of us, all in each other.”
This essay is a masterful example of how a personal experience can be transformed into a profound reflection on the human condition. The writer's vivid description of the shared experience at the Tom Petty concert immediately draws the reader in, creating a sense of unity and shared emotion. The essay then delves into the power of music and art to connect people across time and space, transcending personal boundaries and experiences.
The writer's introspective and philosophical approach to the topic demonstrates a mature and insightful perspective on the role of art in fostering empathy and understanding. By reflecting on how art allows them to "travel vertically through time and horizontally through space," the writer showcases their ability to think deeply and abstractly about the world around them. The essay's poetic language and metaphorical imagery create a rich and engaging narrative that leaves a lasting impact on the reader.
Prospective students can learn from this example by reflecting on their own personal experiences with art, music, or literature, and exploring how these experiences have shaped their worldview and connected them with others. By crafting a reflective and insightful essay that showcases their unique perspective, students can stand out in the admissions process and demonstrate their potential to contribute to the intellectual and cultural community of their chosen college.
Sample Answer from "The Power of Storytelling" by Maria Rodriguez: "Growing up, I was the child who always had her nose buried in a book. From the moment I learned to read, I discovered the magic of storytelling and the power of words to transport me to different worlds, lives, and experiences. As I devoured book after book, I began to realize that stories were more than just entertainment; they were a way to understand the world and my place in it.
In high school, my love for stories led me to join the theater club, where I discovered the joy of bringing characters to life on stage. As I stepped into the shoes of different characters, from the tragic heroine of a Shakespearean play to the quirky lead in a modern comedy, I found myself developing a deeper sense of empathy and understanding for perspectives different from my own. Through theater, I learned the importance of active listening, collaboration, and the power of storytelling to create meaningful connections with others.
This realization inspired me to start a storytelling club at my local community center, where I worked with children from diverse backgrounds to help them develop their own voices and share their unique stories. Each week, as I watched these young storytellers grow in confidence and creativity, I was reminded of the transformative power of stories to empower individuals and build communities.
As I look to the future, I am excited to continue exploring the art of storytelling in all its forms – from literature and theater to film and beyond. I believe that stories have the power to bridge divides, promote understanding, and inspire change. In college, I hope to study comparative literature and theater, delving deeper into the ways in which stories shape our understanding of the world and our place in it. Ultimately, my goal is to use my love for storytelling to make a positive impact on the world, one story at a time."
This essay effectively demonstrates the writer's passion for storytelling and its impact on their personal growth and aspirations. By beginning with a simple yet relatable anecdote about their childhood love for reading, the writer immediately establishes a connection with the reader.
The essay then seamlessly transitions into the writer's experiences in theater, highlighting how stepping into different characters' shoes has deepened their empathy and understanding of diverse perspectives.
Moreover, the writer's initiative in starting a storytelling club showcases their leadership skills and commitment to using their passion for storytelling to make a positive difference in their community. By sharing the impact of this experience on the young storytellers they worked with, the writer demonstrates the transformative power of stories to empower individuals and build connections.
The essay concludes with a clear vision for the future, outlining the writer's academic and personal goals related to storytelling. By expressing their desire to study comparative literature and theater and use their skills to make a positive impact on the world, the writer demonstrates a sense of purpose and motivation that is likely to resonate with admissions officers.
Prospective students can learn from this example by reflecting on their own passions and experiences, and how they have used them to make a difference in their communities or to develop a clearer sense of purpose for the future.
Video: 5 College Essay Topics to Avoid (And What to Write About Instead)
Writing a college application essay can be difficult. You want to stand out from the crowd but need to know where or how to get started.
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Need more essay ideas and topics? Check out our Top 40 College Essay Ideas and Topics .
Or if you’re looking for guidance on your college essay, our 12 Tips for Finding the Best College Essay Coach (2024) will help you find the perfect mentor to guide you through the writing process.
And for those seeking comprehensive assistance with their entire college application, don't miss our College Application Help: 15 Tips to Help You Succeed , which covers everything from essays to interviews and beyond.
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The 2021-2022 Common App Essay: How to Write a Great Essay That Will Get You Accepted
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If you’re reading this, then you’ve probably started the very exciting process of applying to college—and chances are you may be a little overwhelmed at times. That’s OK! The key to getting into the right college for you is taking each step of the application process in stride, and one of those steps is completing the Common App and the Common App essay.
In this post, you’ll learn what the Common Application essay is, how to write one (including a free checklist to help you with the process), example essays, and much more. Let’s get started!
Table of Contents
What is the Common App, and More Importantly, What is the Common App Essay? Quick Facts on the 2021-2022 Common App Essay How Do You Write a Common App Essay?
What Should I Avoid in My Common App Essay? What Are Some Good Common App Essay Examples?
Common Application Essay FAQs
What is the common app, and more importantly, what is the common app essay.
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The “Common App,” short for the Common Application , is a general application used to apply to multiple college undergraduate programs at once. It’s accepted by hundreds of colleges in the United States as well as some colleges internationally.
The idea is that the Common App is a “one-stop shop” so you don’t have to complete a million separate applications. That said, plenty of colleges still require their own application components, and the Common App, as user-friendly as it aims to be, can still feel like a bit of a challenge to complete.
Part of the reason the Common App can seem intimidating is because of the Common App essay component, which is required of all students who submit a college application this way. But never fear! In reality, the Common App essay is easy to ace if you know how to approach it and you give it your best.
So without further ado, let’s take a look at anything and everything you need to know about the 2021-2022 Common App essay in order to help you get into the school of your dreams. We’ve also created a downloadable quick guide to writing a great Common Application essay.
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Quick Facts on the 2021-2022 Common App Essay
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Below are just a few of the short and sweet things you need to know about the 2021-2022 Common App essay, but we’ll elaborate on some of this content later in this post.
There is no fee to complete the Common App, but nearly every college has its own set of necessary submissions fees. | |
250-650 words | |
One (but specific colleges may request more than that in their applications) | |
You have until 11:50 pm in your timezone on the day a college application is due to submit the Common App, including the Common App essay. | |
How Do You Write a Common App Essay?
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The million dollar question about the Common App essay is obviously, “How do I actually write it?!”
Now there’s something to keep in mind before exploring how to compose the Common App essay, and that’s the purpose of this task. You may be wondering:
- What are college admissions boards actually looking for?
- Why are you being asked to write this essay?
College admissions boards want to see that you can compose a compelling, well-crafted essay. After four years of high school, you’re expected to be able to craft a clear and concise piece of writing that addresses a specific subject.
So yes, you’re actually being evaluated on your essay writing skills, but the purpose of the Common Application essay is deeper than that—it’s to present the type of person and thinker that you are.
Regardless of which prompt you choose, colleges are trying to get a sense of how thoughtfully and critically you can reflect on your life and the world around you .
And furthermore, they want to get a sense of who you are—your interests, your personality, your values—the dimensional aspects of you as an applicant that simply can’t be expressed in transcripts and test scores . In short, you want to stand out and be memorable.
That said, there is no exact formula for “cracking the case” of the Common App essay, but there are plenty of useful steps and tips that can help you write a great essay.
(In a hurry? Download our quick and concise handout that sums up some of the keys to the Common App essay!)
1) Familiarize Yourself With the Common App Prompts and How to Approach Them
The Common App recently released the 2021-2022 essay prompts , which are almost the same as last year’s prompts, but with one BIG difference.
The prompt about problem solving (formerly prompt #4) has been replaced with a prompt about gratitude and how it has motivated you. According to Common App President and CEO Jenny Rickard, this change was inspired by new scientific research on the benefits of writing about gratitude and the positive impact others have had on our lives.
Additionally, the Common App now includes an optional Covid-19 prompt where you can discuss how you’ve personally been affected by the Covid-19 pandemic.
Now, let’s take a look at each 2021-2022 Common App prompt individually. You’ll notice that every prompt really has two parts to it:
- share, explain and describe a narrative, and
- reflect on, analyze, and draw meaning from it.
Let’s take a look.
Prompt #1: A snapshot of your story
Prompt: Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.
- Discuss a background, identity, or interest that you feel is meaningful to who you are and/or that or sets you apart from others.
- Reflect on why this attribute is meaningful and how it has shaped you as a person.
Prompt #2: An obstacle you overcame
Prompt: The lessons we take from obstacles we encounter can be fundamental to later success. Recount a time when you faced a challenge, setback, or failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience?
- Recount a time you faced a challenge, setback, or failure.
- Reflect on how this affected you, what you learned from it, and if it led to any successes later down the line.
Prompt #3: A belief or idea you questioned or challenged
Prompt: Reflect on a time when you questioned or challenged a belief or idea. What prompted your thinking? What was the outcome?
- Explain a time that you questioned a particular belief or way of thinking.
- Elaborate on what prompted this questioning, what the outcome was, and why this outcome was significant.
Prompt #4: An experience of gratitude that has motivated you
Prompt: Reflect on something that someone has done for you that has made you happy or thankful in a surprising way. How has this gratitude affected or motivated you?
- Describe the specific experience or interaction that made you feel a sense of gratitude. Make sure to explain who did something nice for you and why it was surprising or unexpected.
- Explain, as specifically as possible, how this feeling of gratitude changed or motivated you. What actions did you take a result? How did your mindset change?
Prompt #5: An accomplishment or event that sparked personal growth
Prompt: Discuss an accomplishment, event, or realization that sparked a period of personal growth and a new understanding of yourself or others.
- Describe an accomplishment or event that sparked personal growth for you.
- Reflect on the nature of this growth and/or a new understanding you gained in the process.
Prompt #6: An interest so engaging you lose track of time
Prompt: Describe a topic, idea, or concept you find so engaging that it makes you lose all track of time. Why does it captivate you? What or who do you turn to when you want to learn more?
- Discuss a topic, idea, or interest that is so engaging to you that you lose track of time when focused on it.
- Reflect on and explain why this interest is so important to you, and your method of learning more about it.
Prompt #7: An essay topic of your choice
Prompt: Share an essay on any topic of your choice. It can be one you’ve already written, one that responds to a different prompt, or one of your own design.
- Discuss any subject matter or philosophical question of interest to you.
- Reflect on the implications of this subject or question, and how it has shaped you, transformed you, impacted your life, etc.
Now keep in mind that to some degree, it doesn’t actually matter which prompt you choose to answer, so long as you write and present yourself well. But you obviously want to pick whichever Common App essay prompt speaks to you most, and the one you think will provide you the meatiest and most meaningful material.
This is an outstanding guide to choosing the right Common App essay prompt, but as a rule of thumb, the “right” prompt will probably stand out to you. If you have to rack your brain, for example, to think of a challenge you’ve overcome and how the experience has shaped you, then that prompt probably isn’t the right one.
Authenticity is key, so choose the prompt you can answer thoroughly.
2) Brainstorm
Whether you know immediately which prompt you’re going to choose or not, do yourself a huge favor and brainstorm . Take out a notebook and jot down or free write all of the ideas that spring to your mind for as many of the prompts that you’re considering. You might be surprised what ideas you generate as you start doing this, and you might be surprised which ideas seem to have the most content and examples to elaborate on.
Also, it’s important to note that your subject matter doesn’t have to be highly dramatic or spectacular. You don’t have to recount a near-death experience, an epic overseas adventure, a 180-degree turn of faith, etc. Your ordinary life, when reflected upon thoughtfully, is interesting and profound.
3) Answer the Question (and Stay on Topic!)
This may sound painfully obvious, but for some of us, it can be hard to stay on topic. Each prompt is posed as a question , so don’t lose sight of that and let your essay devolve into a story about yourself that never really gets at the heart of the prompt.
As you’re drafting your essay—say after each paragraph—pause and refer back to the question, making sure each paragraph plays some part in actually responding to the prompt.
4) Structure and Organize Your Essay Effectively
The Common App essay isn’t like many of the other argumentative essays you’ve been taught to write in school. It is argumentative in that you are essentially arguing for why you are a good candidate for a particular college, using your personal experience as support, but it’s more than that.
The Common Application essay is essentially a narrative essay that is reflective and analytical by nature. This means that regardless of which prompt you select, you’ll be sharing something personal about yourself, and then reflecting on and analyzing why what you shared is important.
And even if this isn’t an essay format that you’re accustomed to writing, you can still rely on your knowledge of basic essay structures to help you. You’ll still need a clear introduction, body, and conclusion.
Let’s talk about those three pieces now.
Introduction
The purpose of an introduction is 1) to grab the reader’s attention and compel them to continue reading, and 2) to introduce the reader to the general subject at hand.
So the most important part of the introduction is a unique attention-getter that establishes your personal voice and tone while piquing the reader’s interest. An example of a good hook could be a brief illustrative anecdote, a quote, a rhetorical question, and so on.
Now, you may be wondering, “Do I need a thesis statement?” This is a great question and the simple answer is no.
This is because some students prefer to hook their reader with a bit of mystery and let their story unfold organically without a thesis sentence “spoiling” what is to come. This doesn’t mean you can’t have a thesis sentence, it just means you don’t need one. It just depends on how you want to build your personal narrative, and what serves you best.
That said, your essay does need a greater message or lesson in it, which is another way of saying a thesis . You just don’t necessarily have to write it out in the introduction paragraph.
It might help you to keep a thesis in mind or even write it down just for your own sake, even if you don’t explicitly use it in your introduction. Doing so can help you stay on track and help you build up to a stronger reflection.
Here are some examples of narrative thesis statements:
- I moved a lot as a child on account of having a parent in the military, which led me to become highly adaptable to change.
- The greatest obstacle I’ve overcome is my battle with leukemia, which has taught me both incredible resilience and reverence for the present.
- An accomplishment that I achieved was making the varsity volleyball team, which has made me grow tremendously as a person, specifically in the areas of self-confidence and collaboration.
As discussed earlier, there are two parts to each prompt: explanation and reflection . Each part should be addressed throughout the essay, but how you organize your content is up to you.
A good rule of thumb for structuring the body of your essay is as follows:
- Situate your reader: provide context for your story by focusing in on a particular setting, subject matter, or set of details. For example, you may frame an essay about an internship at the zoo with the phrase, “Elephants make the best friends.” Your reader knows immediately that the subject matter involves your interaction with animals, specifically elephants.
- Explain more about your topic and how it affected you, using specific examples and key details.
- Go deeper. Elaborate and reflect on the message at hand and how this particular topic shaped the person you are today.
Note that while there are no set rules for how many paragraphs you should use for your essay, be mindful of breaking paragraphs whenever you naturally shift gears, and be mindful of too-long paragraphs that just feel like walls of text for the reader.
Your conclusion should flow nicely from your elaboration, really driving home your message or what you learned. Be careful not to just dead-end your essay abruptly.
This is a great place to speculate on how you see the subject matter informing your future, especially as a college student and beyond. For example, what might you want to continue to learn about? What problems do you anticipate being able to solve given your experience?
5) Write Honestly, Specifically, and Vividly
It may go without saying, but tell your own story, without borrowing from someone else’s or embellishing. Profound reflection, insight, and wisdom can be gleaned from the seemingly simplest experiences, so don’t feel the need to stray from the truth of your unique personal experiences.
Also, make sure to laser in on a highly specific event, obstacle, interest, etc. It is better to go “narrower and deeper” than to go “wider and shallower,” because the more specific you are, the more vivid and engrossing your essay will naturally be.
For example, if you were a camp counselor every summer for the last few years, avoid sharing several summers’ worth of content in your essay. Focus instead on one summer , and even better, on one incident during that summer at camp.
And on that note, remember to be vivid! Follow the cardinal rule of writing: show and don’t tell . Provide specific details, examples, and images in order to create a clear and captivating narrative for your readers.
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6) Be Mindful of Voice and Tone
Unlike in most academic essays, you can sound a bit less stuffy and a bit more like yourself in the Common App essay. Your essay should be professional, but can be conversational. Try reading it aloud; does it sound like you? That’s good!
Be mindful, however, of not getting too casual or colloquial in it. This means avoiding slang, contractions, or “text speak” abbreviations (e.g. “lol”), at least without deliberate context in your story (for example, if you’re recounting dialogue).
You’re still appealing to academic institutions here, so avoid profanity at all costs, and make sure you’re still upholding all the rules for proper style, grammar, and punctuation.
7) Revise and Proofread
This one is a biggie. Give yourself time during your application process to revise, rework, and even rewrite your essay several times. Let it grow and change and become the best version it can be. After you write your first draft, walk away from it for a couple days, and return to it with fresh eyes. You may be surprised by what you feel like adding, removing, or changing.
And of course, make sure your essay is pristine before you submit it. Triple and quadruple check for spelling and usage errors, typos, etc. Since this isn’t a timed essay you have to sit for (like the ACT essay test , for example), the college admissions readers will expect your essay to be polished and sparkling.
A tried and true method for both ensuring flow and catching errors is reading your essay aloud. You may sound a little silly, but it really works!
What Should I Avoid in My Common App Essay?
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Resume Material
Your Common App essay is your chance to provide a deeper insight into you as a person, so avoid just repeating what you’d put on a resume. This is not to say you can’t discuss something mentioned briefly on your resume in greater depth, but the best essays offer something new that helps round out the whole college application.
Controversy
Okay, now this one is a bit tricky. On the one hand, you should write boldly and honestly, and some of the prompts (the one about challenging a particular belief, for example) are appropriate for addressing potentially contentious topics.
But that said, avoid being controversial or edgy for the sake of being controversial or edgy. Be steadfast in your beliefs for the greater sake of the narrative and your essay will be naturally compelling without being alienating to your readers.
Vague Stories
If you have a personal story that you’re not entirely comfortable sharing, avoid it, even if it would make a great essay topic in theory. This is because if you’re not comfortable writing on the subject matter, you’ll end up being too vague, which won’t do your story or overall application justice. So choose a subject matter you’re familiar with and comfortable discussing in specifics.
Unless they really, truly serve your essay, avoid general platitudes and cliches in your language. It is definitely encouraged to have an essay with a moral, lesson, or greater takeaway, but try to avoid summing up what you’ve learned with reductive phrases like “slow and steady wins the race,” “good things come in small packages,” “actions speak louder than words,” “you can’t judge a book by its cover,” and so on.
What Are Some Good Common App Essay Examples?
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There are tons of Common App essays out there, including these Common App essay examples accepted at Connecticut College, which include explanations from admissions readers about why they were chosen.
But let’s take a look here at two versions of an example essay, one that is just okay and one that is great.
Both Common App essay examples are crafted in response to prompt #2, which is:
Essay Version #1, Satisfactory Essay:
During my sophomore year of high school, I tore my ACL, which stands for “anterior cruciate ligament,” and is the kiss of death for most athletic careers. This injury ended up being one of the greatest obstacles of my life. It was also, however, a turning point that taught me to see opportunity amidst adversity.
It was particularly awful that I was just about to score a winning goal during a championship hockey game when I was checked by a guy on the opposing team and came crashing down on my knee. It was pain unlike anything I’d ever felt before, and I knew immediately that this was going to be bad.
For the few months that followed the accident, I was lost, not really knowing what to do with myself. I didn’t know who I was anymore because hockey had been my whole world and sense of identity. Between working out, attending practice, playing home and away games, and watching games to learn more, it was my lifeblood. Losing my ability to play took a toll on me physically and emotionally and I grew lethargic and depressed.
And then one day I heard my school would be adding an advanced multimedia art class for those students who wanted to continue studying art beyond what was already offered. I had taken the handful of art classes my school offered and really enjoyed and excelled at them—though I had never considered them more than just fun electives to fill my scheduled, as required.
After a couple of weeks of the class, I began feeling better. Suddenly I wanted to draw or paint everything I looked at. I wanted to share the world around me as I saw it with others, to connect with people in a way I’d never done before. I met and made friends with many new people in that art class, people I would have never known if I hadn’t taken it, which also opened me up to all kinds of new mindsets and experiences.
We’re all familiar with the common adage, “When one door closes, another opens,” and this is exactly what happened for me. I might never have pursued art more seriously if I hadn’t been taken out of hockey. This has served as a great reminder for me to stay open to new opportunities. We never know what will unexpectedly bring us joy and make us more well-rounded people.
Areas for Improvement in Version #1:
- It lacks a compelling hook.
- The discussion of the obstacle and reflection upon it are both a bit rushed.
- It could use more vivid and evocative language.
- It uses a cliche (“one door closes”).
- It is somewhat vague at times (e.g. what kinds of “new mindsets and experiences” did the writer experience? In what ways are they now more “well-rounded”?).
Now let’s apply this feedback and revise the essay.
Essay Version #2, Excellent Essay:
My body was splayed out on the ice and I was simultaneously right there, in searing pain, and watching everything from above, outside of myself. It wasn’t actually a “near death” experience, but it was certainly disorienting, considering that just seconds before, I was flying down the ice in possession of the puck, about to score the winning goal of our championship game.
Instead, I had taken a check from an opposing team member, and had torn my ACL (or anterior cruciate ligament), which is the kiss of death for most athletic careers.
My road to recovery included two major surgeries, a couple months on crutches, a year of physical therapy, and absolutely zero athletic activity. I would heal, thankfully, and regain movement in my knee and leg, but I was told by doctors that I may never play hockey again, which was devastating to me. Hockey wasn’t just my passion—it was my life’s goal to play professionally.
For the few months that followed the accident, I was lost, feeling like a ghost haunting my own life, watching everything but unable to participate. I didn’t know who I was anymore because hockey had been my whole world and sense of identity. Between working out, attending practice, playing home and away games, and watching games to learn more, it was my lifeblood. Losing my ability to play took a toll on me physically and emotionally, and I grew lethargic and depressed.
And then one day I heard my school would be adding an advanced multimedia art class after school for those students who wanted to study art more seriously. I had already taken the handful of art classes my school offered and really enjoyed them—though I had never considered them more than just fun electives to fill my schedule, as required. And, because of hockey, I certainly had never had afternoons open.
After a couple of weeks of the class, I began to feel alive again, like “myself” but renewed, more awake and aware of everything around me. Suddenly I wanted to draw or paint everything I looked at, to bring everything I saw to life. It wasn’t just that I’d adopted a new hobby or passion, it was that I began looking more closely and critically at the world around me. I wanted to share what I saw with others, to connect with people in a way I’d never done before.
My art teacher selected a charcoal portrait of mine to be showcased in a local art show and I’ve never been more proud of myself for anything. Many of my friends, family members, and teammates came to see the show, which blew me away, but also I realized then just how much of my own self worth had been attached to people’s perception of me as a successful athlete. I learned how much better it feels to gain self worth from within. Unlike hockey, which I’d trained to be good at since I was a toddler, art is something that made me much more vulnerable. I didn’t do it to try to be the best, I did it because it felt good. And getting out of my comfort zone in this way gave me a sense of confidence I had never known prior, despite all my time on the ice during high-stakes games.
Today, I’m back in skates and able to play hockey, but will probably not play professionally; while I am disappointed, I’m also at peace with it. We make plans in life, and sometimes life has other plans for us that we have to adapt to and embrace, which is the more profound lesson I’ve learned in the healing process. We can crumple in the face of obstacles, or we can look for a silver lining and allow ourselves to grow into more complex, dynamic, well-rounded people. I don’t know what the rest of life holds for me, but I do know that I’m going to keep making art, and I’m going to keep opening myself up to new opportunities and experiences.
Strengths of Version #2:
- It has a compelling hook that draws the reader in.
- It has a clear beginning, middle, and end (expressed as an introduction, body, and conclusion).
- It directly addresses the prompt at hand and sticks to it.
- It focuses on one specific incident.
- It is well balanced in its explanation of and reflection on a given experience.
- It uses a clear, unique voice and tone as well as vivid, evocative language.
- It has a logical and cohesive flow.
- It is highly personal while also polished and professional.
Hopefully these examples have given you ideas of how you can take your Common App essay from good to great. If you have more questions about how to write a Common App essay, keep reading our FAQs below.
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How much do I actually have to write for the Common App essay?
Last year, the Common App essay was capped at 650 words with a minimum of 250 words required. The best essays tend to range between 500-650 words.
Think of it this way as you start to draft: 500 words is one single-spaced page (250 words is one double-spaced page), so you should write roughly a page to page and half of typed, single-spaced content.
Where can I find the official Common App essay prompts?
Here are the 2021-2022 Common App essay prompts , which are the same as last year’s, with the exception of a new prompt #4 and the addition of a Covid-19 Common App prompt .
Do I need a title for the Common App essay?
A title is not required for the Common App essay, but you are, of course, more than welcome to include one if you’d like.
Where can I go for more information about the Common App essay?
All of the necessary information for the Common App and the Common App essay can be found on the Common Application home page.
For further reading, here are some posts that tackle and dispel common myths about the Common App essay:
Myth: The Common App essay must sound professional. Myth: Colleges can’t tell if someone helps write a common app essay.
If you haven’t already, you can download our free Common App essay checklist .
Happy Writing!
There you have it! The Common App essay can actually be quite rewarding to write if you give yourself enough time to prepare for it thoroughly. Remember, it’s all about you, and you’re the authority on that! So hunker down and don’t forget to have fun in the writing process.
We’d also love to hear from you! What questions or concerns do you still have about the Common Application essay? What are you thinking about writing on?
Comment below, and good luck!
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Nadyja von Ebers is one of Magoosh’s Content Creators. Nadyja holds an MA in English from DePaul University and has taught English and at the high school and college levels for twelve years. She has a decade of experience teaching preparation for the AP exams, the SAT, and the ACT, among other tests. Additionally, Nadyja has worked as an academic advisor at college level and considers herself an expert in all things related to college-prep. She’s applied her college expertise to posts such as UCLA Admissions: The SAT Scores, ACT Scores, and GPA You Need to Get in and A Family Guide to College Admissions . Nadyja loves helping students reach their maximum potential and thrives in both literal and virtual classrooms. When she’s not teaching, she enjoys reading and writing for pleasure and loves spending time in or near the ocean. You can connect with her on LinkedIn !
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Common App essay examples that got applicants into top colleges
Composing essays for your college application is a challenging task. It is not enough to prepare a ‘good’ essay. College admissions committees review thousands upon thousands of college essays annually, making it crucial that your Common App essays stand out.
The good news is there are plenty of Common App essay examples available to get you started on your writing and provide you some much needed inspiration. Read on to learn about common application essays and check out the examples.
The “Why us?” App Essay
The “diversity” app essay, the “challenges” app essay, the “community” app essay, the “extra-curricular activities” app essay, the “personal statement” app essay.
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The purpose of a “why did you choose this college” essay is to help you persuade admissions committees that you are a good match. The essay is a chance for you to introduce yourself and talk about your passions. It is also important to exhibit genuine enthusiasm for the institution.
Sample answer from Essays That Worked: “The only reason I fear going for lunch in a hotel is probably because I wouldn’t choose between fried chicken and roasted meat and so is my dilemma over my college major. The multifaceted whole brain approach at McCormick, however, grants me the perfect opportunity to pursue my interest in Computer Science whilst acquiring the appropriate skills in entrepreneurship to a one day startup as an innovator.
As a NU computer scientist, I particularly look forward to Software Development EECS 473 – NUvention: Web, through which I would not only learn intricacies of Software development, but have related studies in real time software development in relation to market requirements in CS+X that would form a base for a startup. That would also provide a bridge for me to join Prof Todd Warren at Farley Center for Entrepreneurship and Innovation where I would specifically join the NUvention; Web + Media. Through this unparalleled program I would have the intimacy of working in a team with fellow wild cats towards an innovative business project. The results of which will be an introduction to the Northwestern Innovation and New Ventures Office (INVO) through which I look forward to gaining practical exposure in launching businesses to the general public.
Outside McCormick, I would be excited to pursue the Managerial analytics Certificate program at Kellogg to acquire intelligent business management skills, let off steam at SPARK exploring hacks while fostering entrepreneurial habits, and eventually joining preparations for the Benedictine Eagle Invite at the Henry Crown Sports Pavilion (SPAC) with the NU track club. I may not be the best of singers, but I do have intense phases of music obsessions and where better to let it off than taking non major classes at Bienen and joining one of the numerous Acapella groups as I await Armadillo day!”
Why does this essay work?
The essay refers to specific programs and events that are unique to the school. The author also connects his personal interests with the type of activities he would like to engage in. The focus is on a handful of initiatives the author would be most interested in.
A diversity essay highlights the applicant’s unique background, identity, culture, beliefs, or connections to a particular community. It underlines what sets the applicant apart. These essays are used by colleges to promote diversity on campus, enhance the learning environment, and identify candidates eligible for scholarships aimed at underrepresented groups.
Sample Answer from Boston College : “I’m angry and I’m tired of pretending otherwise. There have been too many riots, too many marches, too many people shouting into uncaring ears when Black people get treated the way we do. How many dead fathers, sons, mothers, and daughters have to move from the front page of the news to the bottom of the social media feed before we get recognized and listened to. I just want to be heard. I have given up on the idea of waking up in a world where I am not afraid, angry, and weary. Maybe that world is for my grandkids, or my great-grandkids, but not me.
My mother and my father, my aunts and uncles, they were all very active in the protests – often at the front of the line – and they did not come through unscathed. They had bruises and blood spilt, they had broken bones. I know they will return to that battlefield, to protest peacefully until they cannot maintain that rank any longer. From these noble people I received my sense of righteous anger. But I also got good advice on how to use it well.
They know that protests are one thing, but action is another, and my mind has been geared toward law school for some time now, because I wanted to bring about the major changes that are needed for our society to move on. So, in addition to protests, I have been taking pre-law courses, and I have acquired a part-time job in the law firm where my uncle works, and while it is a small, office job, I get to spend a lot of time with my uncle learning about how to bring positive change by fighting big and little battles. Of course, he is also showing me how to fight those battles.
Anger alone isn’t going to settle anything, which is why I believe in making a better world with my actions and rhetoric. But I am still frustrated and furious, and while I am trying to find a hopeful place to get to, I’ll repeat that I don’t think we’ll see the better world I want. Maybe our grandkids, but not us. Hold on to that, get angry, and join me in pushing forward for them.”
The applicant talks about their personal experience beyond a general push for diversity. This authenticity makes the essay stand out, as it provides a genuine insight into the applicant’s life and character.The essay clearly articulates the applicant’s motivation for pursuing law school as a means to enact social change. It shows a thoughtful progression from anger and frustration to actionable goals and aspirations, which is exactly what admissions committees look for — students who are motivated by their experiences to make a positive impact.
This type of essay requires you to choose an obstacle you have encountered, explain how it impacted you, and outline the steps you took to overcome it. Life during college and beyond can be unpredictable. Through this essay, the admissions committee wants to see that you are adaptable, resilient, and able to think critically to solve problems.
Sample Answer from CollegeVine: “You ruined my life!” After months of quiet anger, my brother finally confronted me. To my shame, I had been appallingly ignorant of his pain.
Despite being twins, Max and I are profoundly different. Having intellectual interests from a young age that, well, interested very few of my peers, I often felt out of step in comparison with my highly-social brother. Everything appeared to come effortlessly for Max and, while we share an extremely tight bond, his frequent time away with friends left me feeling more and more alone as we grew older.
When my parents learned about The Green Academy, we hoped it would be an opportunity for me to find not only an academically challenging environment, but also – perhaps more importantly – a community. This meant transferring the family from Drumfield to Kingston. And while there was concern about Max, we all believed that given his sociable nature, moving would be far less impactful on him than staying put might be on me.
As it turned out, Green Academy was everything I’d hoped for. I was ecstatic to discover a group of students with whom I shared interests and could truly engage. Preoccupied with new friends and a rigorous course load, I failed to notice that the tables had turned. Max, lost in the fray and grappling with how to make connections in his enormous new high school, had become withdrawn and lonely. It took me until Christmas time – and a massive argument – to recognize how difficult the transition had been for my brother, let alone that he blamed me for it.
Through my own journey of searching for academic peers, in addition to coming out as gay when I was 12, I had developed deep empathy for those who had trouble fitting in. It was a pain I knew well and could easily relate to. Yet after Max’s outburst, my first response was to protest that our parents – not I – had chosen to move us here. In my heart, though, I knew that regardless of who had made the decision, we ended up in Kingston for my benefit. I was ashamed that, while I saw myself as genuinely compassionate, I had been oblivious to the heartache of the person closest to me. I could no longer ignore it – and I didn’t want to.
We stayed up half the night talking, and the conversation took an unexpected turn. Max opened up and shared that it wasn’t just about the move. He told me how challenging school had always been for him, due to his dyslexia, and that the ever-present comparison to me had only deepened his pain.
We had been in parallel battles the whole time and, yet, I only saw that Max was in distress once he experienced problems with which I directly identified. I’d long thought Max had it so easy – all because he had friends. The truth was, he didn’t need to experience my personal brand of sorrow in order for me to relate – he had felt plenty of his own.
My failure to recognize Max’s suffering brought home for me the profound universality and diversity of personal struggle; everyone has insecurities, everyone has woes, and everyone – most certainly – has pain. I am acutely grateful for the conversations he and I shared around all of this, because I believe our relationship has been fundamentally strengthened by a deeper understanding of one another. Further, this experience has reinforced the value of constantly striving for deeper sensitivity to the hidden struggles of those around me. I won’t make the mistake again of assuming that the surface of someone’s life reflects their underlying story.”
For a ‘challenge’ essay, admissions committees look for evidence of resilience, problem-solving, and the ability to learn from difficult situations. This essay effectively addresses these criteria, presenting the writer as someone who has faced interpersonal challenges, reflected on their actions, and emerged more aware and compassionate.
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The “Community” essay will prompt students to talk about a community to which they belong and what role they have played in that community. You can start by discussing a community you have previously been involved with and then outline how you intend to sustain your engagement with a similar community in college to give the admissions office an idea of what on-campus activities you would like to participate in.
Sample answer from Baylor University : “Since getting involved in helping the homeless, I learned that for a time one of my relatives was homeless. When you have a house it’s easy to take it for granted, but all it takes is some bad luck for you to lose it. This is why I feel it’s so important that we all try to help those who have no home to go to.
As hard as it was to motivate others to volunteer and help out with our fundraiser, it was worth it in the end. We raised over $1,000 for the hurricane victims. Now when we see news coverage of that terrible disaster at least we know that we have done our small part to help.
The reward for being a coach has nothing to do with winning games. The reward is seeing everyone working as a team and enjoying the game. Win or lose, as a coach you’re always proud after each game.”
Overall, this essay works because it skillfully combines personal motivation with community action, challenges faced during these endeavors, and reflections on what truly constitutes a reward. It not only showcases the applicant’s commitment to addressing community issues but also highlights valuable character traits such as empathy, leadership, and resilience.
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The essay about your extracurricular activities aims to provide admissions officers with insight into your involvement in extracurriculars and how that has influenced and inspired you. Rather than listing the activities mentioned in your resume, you should delve into how the extracurricular activities have impacted and shaped you.
Sample answer from Admit Report : “As an impressionable six-year-old, I watched Meryl Streep-portrayed Miranda Priestly shape fashion history with a single word of disgust. I longed for my words to have such an impact.
Now, as an editor-in-chief myself, I oversee daily operations of The Hallway, my high school’s newspaper. Instead of shaping global fashion trends, I impact my community by ensuring everyone stays informed.
My place as editor-in-chief was solidified when, in March of last year, we published a breaking story. After a tip to our newspaper email address, a fellow reporter and I uncovered an academic dishonesty scandal. We conducted interviews, dug into school files, and reviewed old test keys to discover the cheating. My reporter wrote the story, and I edited it and put it on the front page. Our story became so big that it was republished in our city’s local newspaper.
Leading my team through this investigation taught me just how important journalism is. Even when people might be upset with what you write, what’s most important is the truth. People can’t make decisions if they’re uninformed about the facts. And reporters can’t investigate and write those stories without the support of a leader who’s willing to put in the work, too.
I doubt I’ll ever predict what we’ll be wearing next spring. But I know that my words will continue to have a deep impact on my community, and I can’t wait to find the next big story at The Catalyst.”
The applicant reflects on what they learned through their experience, especially the value of truth and the role of leadership in journalism.The essay concludes with a forward-looking statement, expressing eagerness to continue making an impact through journalism. This not only highlights the applicant’s passion for their extracurricular activity but also their intention to pursue this interest further, suggesting potential for future growth and contributions.
Through this essay, you can get the opportunity to show the college admissions committee who you are and why you deserve to be admitted to their school. The essay demonstrates the type of individual you are beyond your academic grades and test scores. It is a chance for you to stand out as an individual.
Sample answer from College Advisor : “Gymnastics has always been a part of my life and has shaped who I am today. Without gymnastics I would not have the same determined mindset, competitive nature, and appreciation of a team. If I were to neglect sharing this aspect of my life, my application would truly be incomplete.
When I was two years old, my parents enrolled me in the Parent-and-Me program at Countryside Gymnastics. At six, I became part of the pre-team program, Dynamos, and was placed in the compulsory team at age seven. As a compulsory, I struggled to be as good as my teammates. This struggle caused frustration which evolved into determination and a competitive nature. Throughout the rest of my compulsory years, I gradually improved but still felt as though I were stuck. I knew I had to “up my game.”
The optional levels, 7 and up, brought a new factor—fear. Even though this fear did hold me back at times, I did not let it keep me from achieving my goals. Gymnastics is also extremely tough on the body. Once I entered the optional level of gymnastics, I trained at least 20 hours a week and endured the aches and pains that came along with it. However, I did not let these pains defeat me. When I reached level 9, I began to experience severe back pain, which a spine specialist diagnosed as a subcutaneous lipoma. Although the physician highly recommended I stop training to avoid complications later in life, I was too committed to stop the sport. I let my desire push me through the pain, and I had a successful competition season, qualifying for the Region 8 Regional Competition in Jackson, Mississippi.
During summer training in 2013, I worked as hard as possible to reach level 10, with the back pain progressively worsening. Once my pain peaked, my coach told me it may be time to “hang it up.” I could either quit or repeat level 9 with minimal training. Ultimately, the choice was mine. To prove I was capable of reaching level 10 and to support my team, I continued to train on a vigorous schedule. At level 10, I am the highest level gymnast at Countryside Gymnastics and am determined to have an exceptional competition season.
This determination and competitiveness that pushes me to accomplish my goals in gymnastics also exists in my current scholastics—the health sciences, which will ultimately prepare me for my future in pediatric medicine. Without the desire to be the best I can be, I might not have achieved success throughout my high school years.”
This personal statement application essay effectively showcases the applicant’s character, resilience, and the transferability of skills learned through sports to academic and personal pursuits.It is also well-structured, with a clear narrative arc that engages the reader from the beginning to the end.
These essays are a vital component of the college application. It’s an opportunity for applicants to showcase their personality, experiences, and values in a way that grades and test scores cannot. The example essays can give you ideas on themes, topics, or approaches you might want to consider and help you understand what makes an essay effective in terms of structure, tone, and content.
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How To Write The 2020-21 Common App Essay
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Learn how to write an awesome Common App essay for every single prompt.
Yesh Datar will provide an in-depth breakdown of each of the Common App essay prompts, discussing how to write a great essay in response to each one. He'll also share his take on the essays and topics you shouldn't write about for each prompt.
Video Transcript
Do a quick audio and visual check. See if you guys can see. And then also hear me, let me know in the q&a box. The q&a box looks like the box that says ask a question. Just feel free to type in there. Yes, we can see and hear you, and then I'll get started.
Perfect. Thanks, Amad. Thanks, Lilian. Awesome, Jennifer. Thanks for letting me know. And yeah, before we get started, I'll just introduce myself for those who are new here. My name is Yesh. I am a current medical student at Boston University. And I've been working with CollegeVine for the past three years now. So really excited to talk to you guys today. I definitely found a really good passion about helping students and families navigate the admissions process. Alright, thanks, Barbie. Emma. Nice to see you guys here. Thanks, Tom. All right, let's dive into it. So let's start sharing my screen. And again, if you guys can't see anything, or the audio cuts out, feel free to let me know. In the q&a box. I'll be checking intermittently throughout this presentation. All right. So I just shared my screen. Hopefully you guys can see that. And yeah, so basically cadence for today is I'll be going through the presentation, as is. And then at the end, I'll be doing kind of a QA review. So I'll jump back into the q&a box, see the questions you guys have answered, the more so at the end, however, I'll be checking the q&a box intermittently, to see if there are any kind of pressing questions of a certain slide or anything like that, and then we'll get to it. Awesome. So yeah, can't wait for your questions. Let's get into it.
So welcome to today's presentation on the guide to the CommonApp essay. So first, before we even talk about the prompts, or how to approach the essays, we really have to talk about methodology. Right. So talking about the common FSA, the common app is an application that's shared by 100 800 or more colleges across the US. And it's used by most of the top 50 colleges. So if you're applying through the common app, chances are you'll find the School of your interest in the common app. And so a lot of students end up applying through it anyway. Within the common app, application elements are shared across multiple schools. So that includes things like details relevant to your educational background, your personal background, but also the essays, right, so the essays are pretty vital. And that's what we're gonna be talking about today. And the common app provides a good place to see all the essays that you have to respond to, for each school that you're applying to. And so it becomes very important to complete these essays to the best of your abilities. Because these are one of the biggest things that will be shared to all the schools that you're applying to. The common app essay is what we'll be talking about today. It's also often referred to as personal statement, another two synonymous with each other. So if I say a personal statement, I'm technically talking about the common MSA, it's a common up I say in front of the personal statement, right, they're interchangeable. At most, the maximum word count with common up as a 650 words, our recommendation is try to use between 550 to 650 words, try to use the entire real estate available to you. Because you know, this is where you really want to share a really cohesive story about yourself. And that's what admissions officers are looking for. And it's supposed to be done than 550 to 650 words. And you have a selection of seven prompts that can be responded to. And I just want to clarify, you don't have to respond to all seven prompts, you just have to respond to one of them. So you choose one out of the seven that really piques your interest, and you respond to only one of those out of the seven. So without further ado, here are the prompts, the common app prompts and somebody who probably have started writing your college essay others you are probably about to start writing. So this is kind of good refresher on what prompts to expect, and which prompts you might have chosen from so prompt one is some students have a background identity, interest or talent that is so meaningful, they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story from the lessons we take from obstacles we encounter can be fundamental to later success. recount a time when you faced a challenge setback or failure. How did it affect you? And what did you learn from the experience? Number three, reflect on a time when you questioned or challenged a belief or idea. What prompted your thinking? What was the outcome? prop four, describe the problem you solved or problem you'd like to solve. It can be intellectual challenge or research query and ethical dilemma. Anything that is of personal importance, no matter the scale. Explain its significance to you and what steps you took or could be taken to identify solution. prompt five discuss an accomplishment event or realization that sparked a period of personal growth in a new industry. Have yourself or others. Six describe a topic idea or concept you find so engaging, and it makes you lose track of all time. Why does it captivate you? What, or who do you turn to when you want to learn more, and then finally prompts up. This is kind of a free for also free form kind of essay where you can share an essay on any topic of your choice. We want, you've already written one that responds to a different prompt, or one of your own design.
Great. So again, most of the presentation, the first half, the presentation will be more about methodology of the CommonApp. So now we're going to start breaking down really why the CommonApp matters in the first place, we'll talk about ideas about how to write good essays, then we'll break down each essay prompt individually. So the common app essay matters a lot in admissions, because they're the main way that admissions officers get to know you as a person. Note that the rest of your application is mostly stats or facts on a page. So things like your GPA, your test scores, your extracurriculars can convey very quantitative measures of who you are as an applicant. But the essays and letters recommendation, for example, are very personal ways of telling the admissions committee who you are. So that's why it becomes very important. This is how you can share your message. A question that I anticipate getting that I often get in these kind of webinars is about because of COVID? How has it impacted the idea of GPA or test score? And how are essays and letters recommendations kind of seen now, right? So because of COVID, the weight of a GPA or test score has decreased. And why because students can't really study as effectively home, they not might not perform well on tests. And also a lot of students can't take standardized tests because of the environment they're in. Right. So the weight of GPA and standardized test scores have gone down. And in place that things like essays and letters of recommendation have actually increased in weight. So it's very important, especially in this COVID era, to have really strong essays.
Also note that the common app essay will be specially seen by every college that you apply to where supplemental essays are only seen by one college at a time. So the common FSA is one essay that sounds to every single school in the CommonApp system, while supplemental essays requested individually by each school, right. So for example, from Cornell, or RPI, they ask for supplemental essay, I'm going to write directly to them, it's only going to go to that one school, not all the other schools, while for right common, I bet say it's going to go to both schools, Cornell and RPI individually, right. So that's why the common FSA is really important, because it's going to a lot more schools than just one supplemental essay. And so because of these kind of reasons I've laid out, the essay is the single most impactful thing you'll write during the business process period. To make a really strong CommonApp essay, you definitely want to make sure that your essay is deeply personal. The single most important thing that your CommonApp has to achieve is winning over the admissions officer on a personal level, you want them to walk away from me in your essay as an advocate for your mission. At selective schools, one or more admissions officers actually have to advocate forcefully for you in a committee. So they're in that rate, you have to really story a portion of cord with the admissions officer for them to want to accept you into the university. And so establishing a deeply personal story that connects the admissions reader, as if they're seeing the person on the other side is very, very important. In order to do this, your essay must reveal things about you that can't be learned just by reading your resume or transcript. Again, it's not just kind of writing an essay that shows off a lot of things that your resume is writing an essay that characterizes who you are in one particular aspect of your life, and will kind of break this down a little bit. Your goal is to show much more about who you are, again, those characteristics that traits, how you see the world, not about what you've done. So not really listing those resume type things in essay form. At the end of the day, you also want the reader to feel your emotions as they read the essay and become invested in your positive outcome or journey. Right. So a lot of this will involve being vulnerable in the essay, being open to talking about motions in the moment, rather than kind of just writing narrative on narrative. So that's how you kind of let the admissions officer be in your own shoes, kind of feel what you're feeling the moment and eventually kind of side with your story and strike a personal quarter theme itself. So so that begs the question, how do you create the personal connection in the first place? Right. And before we dive into that, I'm just gonna check the q&a box. I think we're good there. We also have an event coming up today at 6pm. Eastern. It's an introduction to undergrad business schools. So if you guys are interested in applying to business schools across the US, this is a really good live stream to kind of figure out what a business will entail. And how to choose the best one for you, specifically your interest in business. So definitely check out this live stream if you're interested.
Alright, so to create this personal connection that I mentioned before, your essay definitely need to explore these following concepts. So concept one is talking about how you think about the world around you both something's happening, and upon further reflection. So what do you mean by that, you're trying to explain how you see the world around you, not just the immediate environment, but the people. So admissions officers curious about how you interact with other people, or how you interact with the world, and how you emotionally respond to the world. Right. So it seems very abstract when I'm talking about it. But when you start to contextualize that into an essay, it's really about describing things through your own lens, and not just kind of how a typical person would describe an event environment or the people they see. Right. So you kind of want to provide your own personal insight to the world around you, essentially. The second concept is a demonstration of your core values, you don't just want to state them, but you want to exemplify them as specific things. So by that is, you don't just want to say, I'm a very happy person, right? In your essay, that just stating, right, you're saying you're really happy person. Rather, to make a strong essay, you want to show off or exemplify in specific things that you've done, that you are a happy person. So maybe that might be how you describe the environment around you could show that you're happy person, or describe your passion for something that you're doing. That's implicitly telling the admissions officer that you're a happy person. And implicitly, you're going to make a stronger essay by doing it that way. And then the third thing you want to include in your essay, third concept is talking about how you respond emotionally to different situations and aspects of your background, both in the moment and over time. So again, this comes back to the idea of talking more from an emotional lens, right? Sharing, being open to sharing your current state of emotions, whether it be frustration, or validation, or relief or joy, right. And again, don't just state those things, but show them through your own words, show them through your tone, to make it a really strong kind of storytelling that happens in the CommonApp as a. Cool, and definitely feel free to ask questions. To kind of clarify these topics. I know they're kind of abstract at the moment. But hopefully, I'll clarify them as I go through through certain examples. So other great hallmarks of a common FSA would be one to avoid cliche or common topics. Note that admissions officers read thousands and thousands of essays per cycle. For example, on music, and sports. So if your topic is cliched or common, then your essay has to be much stronger to stand out. So a typical way to kind of assess if an essay is cliche, is to think about if the end of the story is predictable or not. Right? So if I'm reading the essay, can I predict what the ending will be? If I can, chances are that essays cliche, right? So for example, if I was a star quarterback of my high school football team, and I got injured, right, okay, so now I'm reading an essay about that I'm reading an essay about it. And I'm gonna anticipate that maybe the star quarterback, at the end of the essay kind of wins a championship, or kind of fails, but tries really hard to do so. Right? Sort of a predictable ending at that point, right? It's very kind of one line, I'm thinking has to do with sports probably has to do with winning a sport or something like that. very predictable, cliche topic. Now, the question is how to make it more unique, less cliche, maybe have a less predictable ending. So maybe the star quarterback got injured, and then turned to a different sport, where his dexterity, his coordination, his sense of balance, actually did do serve him well, right. And maybe that was ballet dancing. So this quarterback got injured, and then decided to pursue ballet dancing, and had a really strong kind of background did that and excelled in that, right? In that way. It's a very less cliche ending, less predictable ending, so that actually make a stronger essay. Right? So that's just an example. But hopefully, that kind of clarified that idea. Another hallmark of a great CommonApp essay is to be have well written an essay with strong grammar and high quality writing. This is definitely important that more selective schools, you also want to have strong flow and readability. And that often happens by getting someone else to read your essay if you can't use this for yourself. Then finally, like I talked about before, you want to take make use of the entire real estate of the essays that you have. So that often might look like making use of the full 650 words available to you on the Common App essay when it comes to essay structure, There's three structures that we typically see. The first is a narrative essay. So you tell one story from start to finish. It can be a moment in time, or chronological retelling of a longer narrative. It's usually based around one main theme as well. So an example of this is, maybe I just moved to a new high school. And so, and I've been at this high school for three years now. And I want to share that in my common FSA. So the start of my story will be started freshman year, and my story will be middle of junior year. Okay. So have a clear start, have a clear finish. And maybe the theme that I'm exploring is my passion for science, right? So across this experience in a new high school, I developed a passion for science, right? So that's an example of a narrative essay. Now, the second structure that we have is a series of anecdotes, or montage. This is typically a series of disconnected anecdotes are moments of time, and they reveal multiple themes. So what do I mean by that? So to extend upon the analogy of being a new high school student, maybe for every like two or three years, from first grade, all the way to high school, I kept moving to New schools. So maybe at each new school, it was a new story that I want to tell across my kind of timeline of education, right? So I want to put that in my comrade the story. So each school, maybe I learned something new about myself, I learned something new about science, right. And that's what I want to convey in my comment, per se. So I could do that. And that way, it would be a series of anecdotes across multiple high schools, it almost be like a montage of different kind of educational things that all line up into one timeline that reveal multiple themes about myself. Cool. And then finally, the last essay structure is unconventional structure. So what does that look like? So maybe if I'm passionate about computer science, I would write my essays and lines of code. Or if I'm an avid Shakespeare Pran, I could write my essays in ionic pentameter, right? So again, it's kind of like whatever you want to do with it. But it is definitely high risk, high reward. So if I'm writing my essay about poetry, I'm not going to write my essays structurally in lines of code, right? It wouldn't really make sense. So you definitely have to match the structure of your essay with the content of your essay, make sure they line up. And that's why we typically say this is a higher bar for success. If it's not done quite well, it's kind of risky, might not sit well with the admissions officer in the first place. Okay. So other general content guidelines, your essay should be mostly about you, as a high schooler, it's okay to reference an event pi school, we have to bring the essay route to who you are today. Very important, because you're applying as a high school student into college. admissions officers really don't care about who were, say five or 10 years ago, for the most part. So unless all that's very instrumental to your upbringing, and influences who you are today, might not be as relevant to include in your essay. your essay should also be about a personal experience, not about other events in world history. But if you feel a connection to a world event, you must bring it back to your personal engagement with that event. So again, this kind of goes back to the point that I made before, if you're going to talk about external men around you need to bring it back to who you are, and talk about it from your own perspective. your essay shouldn't be about your experience with the Coronavirus, you can either write about that responded to the COVID prompt or responding to the additional info section. And finally, know your audience called admissions officers, especially at selective and private colleges tend to be very progressive. So it's okay to talk about more progressive ideas, they actually might kind of look upon it favorably. However, say if you're applying to a university like Liberty University, with no be more conservative, you might not talk about say like LGBTQ rights, for example, because it might not sit well with them in terms of admissions, right. So just kind of keep the university that you're applying for in mind. Some other guidelines that we just want to mention, your essay shouldn't have a title. We say this because that is kind of eat out the word space. And it also really doesn't contribute much to the idea of the essay overall. your essay shouldn't use quotes from historical figures or famous people. We say this because we'd rather you put things into your own words, not going to repeat words from someone else. your essay shouldn't have any content that's inappropriate, racist, sexist, homophobic. And unless it's in dialogue or using a very precise way, generally avoid slang and dialect as well. All right, awesome.
So just I'll take the moment here to introduce another event that we have coming up. It's a live profile review session, coming tomorrow at 4:30pm Eastern where You'll have a chance to submit profiles ahead of time, 30 minutes before the event. And based on the amount of submissions, we'll get probably a review about 10 profiles on average these events. And we'll be giving you a good idea of based on skills that you want to apply to and your profile background, how good of a chance that you have to get into these colleges. So if you're interested in kind of having your profile read, definitely registered for this event, and submit your profiles ahead of time. Okay, so I do see two questions real quick. Barbie asks, Is the CommonApp limited to the US? No, it's not. It's available to international students as well. Another question from Lance. Hi, greetings from Belize. Hello, would you suggest incorporating examples of activities you participated in? So I mentioned before that on the common app, we usually don't want to put in a lot of kind of resume type material. However, we'll kind of get to this in a bit. But if there's a story that involves one of the activities, or maybe two or three of the activities that you did, might be relevant to talk about that activity. However, we don't want to kind of start including a lot of different activities that aren't as relevant to the storytelling that's going on with the content.
So you want to be aware of what activities you're sharing? And if they're kind of relevant to what idea you want to express about yourself.
Monica has a really good question. So as a rule about not including quotes, district No, not really. And we'll kind of get to this in a bit as well. So you can share quotes, as long as you're not using them to kind of just supplement or supplant words that you could have used yourself. So we'll kind of get to that.
Right. You also want to think of your CommonApp essay as a portfolio as well. So along with the CommonApp essays, you're going to have your supplemental essays that to be submitted to the school. So because of this, we oftentimes suggests that take into account all the different essays that you're going to write across your applications. And make sure you're not repeating ideas in your supplemental essays. So each essay should convey something different about you should keep in mind the other essays you're going to write when picking your common topic. So, for example, if I'm applying to another school, so UC Berkeley, for example, maybe that's not a good example. They're not in the Congo. Let's say, let's say, oh, let's go RPI gun. Okay. So say I'm applying to RPI. And they ask, why do you want to be an engineer? Right? There's supplemental essays asking them. So I read an essay I said to them, but then I realized my common FSA also talked about me wanting to be an engineer. To some level, it's redundant to share those two essays to one school, because they're just going to get to the same assets. So before you even start writing the essay, it's better to plan ahead of time and think to yourself, if I'm going to submit an essay to RPI, talking about why I want to be an engineer. Why would I repeat the same ideas in my common app essay? Why don't I talk about something else? So a good idea there in that case, is think qualities that make a good engineer, could be creativity could be leadership. Right? Right. in common. If I say about you being creative person, are you being a leader, rather than you being an engineer, right. So that's a good example. And then kind of last point about this portfolio idea is you want to create a comprehensive narrative across your essays, right? So you're trying to create a picture of yourself throughout all these multiple essays that are writing to the admissions reader. So it'd be very helpful to think ahead of time, think of the characteristics that are most embodied by you, and then share stories that relate those characteristics to your audience.
Then there's also the aspect of getting feedback on your assets. You can ask a teacher, parent, friend or older classmate, and then CollegeVine also offers this tool called a live essay review. So we do these live essay reviews on live streams. So we do have live essay review events, which you can sign up for. But we also have a pure essay review tool, where you can virtually submit your essays to our website, and we can have someone grade and review your essays for you. In terms of getting feedback in your essays, you can also ask multiple readers, typically four or five. in advance, we want to know what you want them to take away from your essay. And then after they've read your essay, you can see if the takeaways that you want them to get are the same ones that they got after reading yourself. You want to ask them questions like this Feel true to who I am as person. And does this sound like me? Oftentimes, you know, after four or five people read your essay, everyone's kind of have their own opinions, everyone's going to have one, insert something into your essay, or take something away. That you know the essay could stop sounding like you had a certain point, or if not written correctly, could just not sound like you to start with, right. So these are some things that you want to check in on. And just make sure you're doing accurately, the best way to do that is have people read your essays. Because at the end of the day, you know, someone, some admissions officer is going to read your essays in the first place.
Alright, let's break down the pumps.
So the first pump, like I've read before, some students have the background energy interests or account that is so meaningful, they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story. So if we respond to this question by either identifying the background or identity, you want to focus on deep intense reflection on something that is more specific situation or challenge. So for example, you could talk about colorism in the South Asian or African American community, or how immigration enforcement affects family relationships in the Hispanic community. So see how these things aren't directly about, say, a kind of vague cultural background or identity, we're really identifying specific things within those communities that are impactful to the student's life. If you connect an underpinning of your culture, or background to an academic interest, or something non cultural, that could also be interesting. So for example, maybe your parents are super oriented around order cleanliness in the house, whether that's parent of workers, or cultural, if you're Japanese American, you could tie that to why you love the order and precision of double entry, bookkeeping, and accounting that you discovered via the school store and fbla. And why you want to pursue that in college. Right. So here's another specific example of how cultural influences the way you see things, and how that kind of your own perspective influences what you like. So, very, very interesting exploration. Also, note that background identity can be religion, or politics. But note that these are contentious cultural issues, they carry more risk when being read by admissions officer dushyant more conservative schools. And for that reason, you want to keep in mind the culture of the school. If you're gonna respond as prompt in terms of identity or interest, the biggest mistake is writing about what you've already done. You must connect to deeper personality traits or insights about your worldview. You really can't allow this essay to read like a resume in paragraph four. So sometimes it's good to focus on an interest in talent that isn't on the resume in that humanistic step.
So for example, if you're gonna talk about background, Genji, it could be a dominant personal trait. Also don't sleep on regional state, or even town culture as an element here. Culture doesn't always have to be fine, again, by religion, or politics or anything like that. It can really just be something that's stems from a geographic place. You can reflect on your privilege, but you need to do so in a way that is thoughtful as well. Definitely identify essays that identity essays can sometimes come off as an original, particularly if reading something like the immigrant story. immigrant stories are oftentimes cliche, right? So if I start reading an immigrant story, it almost predict the ending that there's some assimilation that happens, and kind of amount of comfort grows with the student. Make it unique, right? So you want to be careful that if you're writing an immigrant story, for example, it's not kind of super unoriginal, right. And identity. Identity essays, oftentimes fall into that bucket of being cliche, unfortunately. Right on the prompt to the lessons we take from obstacles we encounter can be fundamental to later success. recount a time when you faced a challenge, setback or failure. How did it affect you? What did you learn from the experience? The immediate temptation, a lot of people fall to it, is to write about an academic or extracurricular failure. This can be done, but there's two issues. One, there's a sense of proportion failure, or a challenge is relatively mundane. So for example, not winning an award at a Model UN Conference, writing an essay about that can come off as very privileged, right. And then number two topics can also be cliched. 650. essays in one cycle, are about getting better at cross country or tennis. Right. So when writing about academics, or extracurriculars, keep in mind these two things, the scope of your problem Is it extensive? Does it concern kind of just localized your high school, it does it impact a lot of people. And then also how many people probably write essays about this in the first place. So definitely kind of be aware of these larger facts, before even attempting to write these essays to make sure that your essays aren't cliche, kind of original to you. So instead of writing, say about academic, or extracurricular kind of success, or failure, maybe a personal emotional adversity or failures can provide a much better foundation for your story. So for example, talking about losing a friend, a family member. Ideally, what you're aiming to show here is how you respond when you're emotional, or otherwise destabilized? And how do you respond to those events? In the moment, and with other people around? You also want to talk about how do you develop or grow as a result of this better? And that's critical. A lot of the essay shouldn't just be talking about what the failure was, or what led up to failure. Ideally, a majority of the essay should be talking about after the failure, and how you grew from the failure. Right? So this question is really three parts. First sentence is literally asking, what is that failure that you encounter? Second part is asking, How did it affect you? And then third, is asking, what did you learn from the experience? Right? There's three questions to answer in this one prompt, it's a little difficult. But if done right, it should be more focused on how the failure affected you. And then what you learn from it as well. Another note is if you faced adversity, like racism, sexual assault, bigotry, poverty, it's definitely kind of looked favorably to write about these things. Because they, they tie in a lot of emotional sentiment, right? It could be a very emotional story that you'd be sharing with admissions reader, and it might wreck a personal court. All right. Before we go on to prompt three, I'll take a look at the q&a box. And then we have another event coming up October 14 at 4:30pm. Eastern, the Ultimate Guide to BS MD programs. So if you're interested in applying to these guaranteed medical programs, definitely check out this live stream. We'll be walking through how do I apply these programs? What kind of like the ideal student is? What are the programs that exist? And talk through some of those larger ideas?
Yeah, Abigail was really great question. Does your topic need to be sad story or something big? Or can it be something that is a daily struggle? Very, very good question. So we'll get that in a bit. But kind of long story short, it can be something that is daily struggle, not everyone's going to have a huge sad story or something momentous that's happened in their life, that's totally fine. It's really just about explaining who you are, as a result of your daily life. There might be small things that kind of happen in your life that better describe who you are. And that's might make a more kind of richer essay in the first place.
Just there asked, good question. What should you do for a good immigration story? Yeah. So what I will say is that everyone kind of has their own immigration story. For most first generation students, I'll say that the immigration story isn't about students about the parents, right, for the most part. So because of that, a lot of essays written about immigration, will be from the perspective of the parents journey, which is kind of away from who the student is in the first place. Right? So if you're going to write an immigration story, first thing is to consider who you actually writing about, are you writing about parents? Are you writing about the students? Are you writing about yourself, right? Ideally, you'd be writing about yourself, because that's what matters more to the admissions rate. So this is who you really want to kind of talk about that should be the central focus of the essay. So when writing a good migration story, First, start talking about yourself more. Other things to consider are what makes your story unique compared to the other interviewers and story out there. There's definitely some unique twists that you can make. And that'll kind of limit the amount of cliche things that you've put into this story in the first place. So think about those two things. I think that's kind of what immediately comes to mind for me. Right. One last question from Felicia, that will get back to the PowerPoint. Felicia asked for the slide presentation be available somewhere on your website? Yes, well, so the presentations recorded under the live stream section of CollegeVine. So in the top bar of the CollegeVine website, there's a live stream drop down tab. Click that and go to live streams. You'll see recordings of today's event in the on demand section. Then the recording will also be sent to you within 24 hours as well.
Right? properly reflect on a time when you questioned or challenged the belief or idea, what prompted your thinking? What was the outcome? This is sometimes difficult for high schools to answer, especially since you've participated in genuine protest. If, for example, unless you participated in genuine protest against social ills. A lot of high schoolers will write about these kind of larger problems in society. Unfortunately, it might be more of a trend and kind of their Instagram page or something like that, rather than them actually being deeply involved in these activities. So if you're responding to this prompt, careful to not jump onto a trend, if you're not personally affected by this adversity or the challenge, right. And that's very important. Because if you're not directly affected by this challenge, and you kind of jump onto a trend, you're not going to write really substantial and moving essay in the first place. And admissions officers want to know if you're actually kind of impacted by these adversities and how involved you are in the first place. So when approaching this prompt, you can discuss a time when you went against social norms within your school club or organization, for example. But you can also discuss a smaller but meaningful change in a work environment or extra curricular experience. I've got like the scale here can be large, it can be small, kind of getting back to Abigail's question about can something be daily struggle. And that's very true, right? Just make sure that these things are something that has impacted your life. So for example, it doesn't have to be something big. So maybe I couldn't participate in gymnastics growing up, because I had to take care of my single parent mother, who, well, sorry, I had to take care of my younger brother, because my single parent mother was working night and day shifts 24, seven, at the local diner, right. And because of that, we had a lot of family financial issues. So I couldn't really pursue my passion of gymnastics, instead, I'd take care of my little brother, right. So it's not like a huge issue that's affecting the world. But to you, that is a really big issue. And you had this really strong problem that you've solved, right? So that kind of gives an example what we mean by it doesn't have to be like a super grand scale. But it can be something small. Right? But really, these essays, reward reflection and introspection at the end of the day. With this prompt, you really have an opportunity to bring the reader inside your head. Oh, okay. So I just want to make sure you guys can see and hear me because I think Brian might not be able to see everyone or hear me. I'm just worrying if someone else is having technical issues, or is it just kind of a one person thing?
If not, can you guys just let me know in the q&a box.
You guys can still hear and see me just in case and then I'll chat Brian to let him know that if we're just having a technical issue, right. It's just kind of his gauge. Okay. Yeah. Thanks. Thanks, Elise. Okay, you guys can all hear me see me girl just O'Brien.
Okay, perfect. Yeah. Thanks, guys for responding. Thanks, Mo. Samuel chill. Alright.
Okay. And then.
Okay, Jennifer gave me a tip. So if you guys are having tech issues, just refresh the page a couple times, it'll start working again. But thanks for your patience, guys. All right. But again, with this prompt, you definitely have an opportunity to bring the reader inside your head. So you can really show them your how you process durations, how you assess them, how you make decisions, how you think. And that's really critical when respondents comp in the first place. So again, it's not just defining what the challenge or belief is or the idea. It's really talking about how you process that in your head. And why are you making decisions the way you make them, not help maybe other people. All right, next up Tom Ford. Describe the problem you solve their problem you'd like to solve. It could be intellectual challenge or research query and ethical dilemma. Anything that is a personal importance, no matter the skill, explain its significance to you, and what steps you took or could be taken to identify solution. When this question saying that you can list anything of personal importance, it gives you a lot of freedom.
It allows you to explore more academic topics. But again, if you're going to talk about academics, you must approach your passion from a personal lens, right? So you can talk about, say, astronomy, or engineering or music. But those might be cliche topics, if you only talk about them at face value. You want to talk about those things from your own perspective.
Like I talked about before, you can address a hypothetical problem, but you must reference why you personally care about that topic. So for example, if you're going to talk about climate change, you must connect caring about climate change to a personal rational. Again, smaller scale problems tend to be more interesting to read about and stand out more as well.
So going back to abacos, question is really great question. And it kind of ties to a lot of problems. Lots of people will write about climate change and in racism, solving misogyny. But the real point is to be more specific in your responses.
So if I'm example, if I'm, I guess, curious about urban city planning or something, maybe I'll talk about zoning reform, or creating more roundabouts. If I care about tech, maybe I'll talk about building a social network with a privacy friendly business model. Or if I care about my rights, maybe I'll talk about finding a balance between free speech and minority protection.
If I care about curriculum development, making the culture of STEM AP classes more friendly to women, right. So specificity here is really key, especially for this prompt. That's where you can identify more unique things to talk about, and make them less cliche essays, for example.
Okay, I think Brian still having this issue, or maybe switch to a new browser that potentially use I don't think Brian can hear me or see me.
I'm just gonna respond to Brian.
Okay, Stella also had another suggestion. Sometimes you need to click on the video screen for the audio to journal. Right? So maybe that works Brian. Thanks, guys for these good tips. All right.
On promt five, discuss an accomplishment event or realization that sparked a period of personal growth and new standard standing of yourself or others.
Here you can discuss a formal accomplishment or event, but you must discuss how it catalyzed personal growth, right. So again, it's not talking about the external thing. At the end of the day, it's talking about your own kind of understanding of the external thing, your own perspective. here talking about the more informal then, or the assertion, definitely more meaningful as well.
Most essays, if respond to this prompt, right, too much before innominate, after, or vice versa, right. So for writing an essay about growth, Ideally, we'd set up a picture of the before student and the after student, and how those things kind of transitioned over time. We don't want to focus too much on the before picture of who I am, or too much in the after picture, right? You want to balance that that's what we're trying to get out. Excuse me.
The main thing here is to define your personal growth and connect it to the event.
Again, the event is secondary to learning more about growth.
You're not really trying to explain. I mean, you are to some level, but you don't just want to explain what the event was, what those environmental things are. You want to talk about your own perspective, your own understanding in your own work from those environmental things.
There's a huge temptation to use this to highlight your biggest extraocular accomplishment or passion that can be done. But it can't just be listening what you accomplish. The essay should be about what's happening behind the scenes in your head and heart. So really, it's providing the logical means for what you're doing, as well as kind of what your passion is and why you're doing it in the first place.
Prompt six, discuss a topic idea or concept you find so engaging, that it makes you lose track of time. Why does it captivate you? What, or who do you trust? To when you want to learn more. Here, you can expand on a topic or concept that might be seemingly small, but make the essay more about you not the topic, you have an opportunity here to show your passion can use beautiful descriptive writing. So a lot of students kind of take advantage of this. So they find themselves to be good descriptive writers definitely go for it. However, if you're gonna address this prompt, you must address why you think why the thing captivates you in the first place, you don't just want to say that it's interesting to you. If you're going to be more creative and descriptive in your writing, you often want to kind of include this idea of talking about your senses or you feelings, right. It's more about this emotional kind of attachment to the thing that you're going to explain not just what the thing is in the first place. You can dive into an academic topic, but you want to be careful not to get too focused on the topic. Ideally, again, like keep talking about, you should show personal connection, a higher level intellectual element, or abstraction that you find interesting. And pick a topic that's one layer deeper than the subject itself.
So you're going to talk about economics, maybe for example, talk about market monetarism instead, right? So identify specific things that are more unique to you, or unique interests to demonstrate why these things are truly captivating to you. And then again, don't just describe these things.
Talk about from your own perspective, right. So admissions, readers want to hear things for your own voice, your own tone, it's really hard to do, but that's what you're gonna have to do to make a really strong accent.
And finally, prompt seven, share an essay on any topic of your choice, it can be one you've already written on the response to a different prompt, or one of your own design.
First off, you want to write the essay, after figuring out what you want to say, then figure out the prompt. This essay is also high risk, high reward, there's lots of freedom, I could get lots of danger. It's like we talked about before, in terms of writing an unconventional structure. Prop seven kind of feeds into that. So again, if you're excuse me, if you're interested in computer science, you might write your essays on lines of code. If you're interested in Shakespeare, you might use ionic pentameter. So kind of goes back into that line, high risk, because you don't know how it might be read by the reader. But there's also high reward because it could be done well, it could be very unique across other essays. Just note that you're still trying to achieve the same goals as with other essays. And you still must address who you are as a person and fulfill the other goals that we talked about throughout the livestream. With that, kind of jump into q&a. So I do see a lot of questions here. So I'll start kind of answering them.
Hopefully, Brian was able to figure out the live stream.
I think there's just some technical bugs sometimes, but it will be recorded anyway.
Okay, let's jump into questions here.
Okay, Barbie has a question. Is it important to write about an issue which we faced? Or can it be an issue we believe in? Yeah, so this is going back to a previous slide that I mentioned.
I think it's this.
Ah, okay. Yeah. No. All right. Well, basically, short answer, it can be something that can find it very, very, essentially, it should ideally be about an issue that you have faced could be an issue that you believe in. But what admissions officers care about is your personal involvement within this kind of issue, right? So if you're not deeply involved in it, or hasn't affected you, on a more personal level, it might not be worth kind of including, or it might not make a strong essay, because in some sense, you're not reading from a very personal place. So ideally, if you're going to write an essay about an issue that you want to solve, then you're going to have some personal involvement with that issue.
Right. Great question, though.
Ah, okay. Felicia asked great question. Can you answer two prompts if they're related to what you want to write about? So, I would kind of say that each of those seven prompts are in some ways unique to themselves, right?
They're kind of targeting different things. Um, there are overlapping ideas. For the most part, they're trying to get at different things about the student.
Right? So I was just kind of thinking of one prompt, it might have overlapped with the second prompt. But at the end of the day, you should just respond to one of those problems. So on the common app, when you're filling it out, you'll before submitting, you'll indicate which prompt to answer.
You can only click one of those, right.
So it's okay to have a mix of two prompts. But in some ways, it should ideally, just be one prompt that you're actually responding. Hopefully that clarified your question, feel free to kind of clarify with me in the q&a box if you want to. Okay, um, next question.
Okay, Samuel asked, great question. How do you make sure each essay line serves a unique purpose and transition with proceeding and succeeding sentences? Yeah, so you've kind of kind of hinted at what the answer to this question is, it's really about, before you start writing an essay, you should have in mind what you want to share with the admissions reader, you want to have almost like an outline of what you're about to write in your head, or actually written out on a piece of paper.
And so as you start writing an essay, make sure that every sentence you write directly impacts what you're trying to say in the first place.
You don't really want to write very superfluous things, right? So in doing so, the way to do that is write line by line. And after you write each sentence, make sure to ask yourself, why did I write the sentence? How's it forwarding my point? Right? So, yeah, so you kind of answer your question. So really, to have sentences that are unique to your purpose of writing, assess each question line by line, as you jealous group motion, what kind of advice would you give to a student wants to write about a family relationship they have, and how it's influenced them. So writing about family, in some sense, could be writing about a family culture, it could be talking about a problem that you have growing up could be about influential figures in your family, like a lot of different things. Going back to some of the main guidelines for writing these essays, you want this essay to be more about you. When typically, I've seen a lot of family relationship type essays, they start to talk more about their family members less about themselves, right? Your goal is to talk more about yourself, and then explain your family members from your own perspective, or explain the influence that they've had, from your own perspective. So to write a really strong relationship about family relationships, I'm sorry, write a really strong essay about failing relationships, really try to make sure you're focusing more on yourself less on kind of your whole family.
And, like I mentioned, there's a whole bunch of different avenues, you can go down in that one line of thought. So definitely try to make sure you have a specific adni that we're going to go down and just stick to that one main theme across your resume.
Nathaniel asks, if you want to talk about your future career in law or medicine that requires you to go to grad school first, but it is your goal, or passion? Is this okay for the common app?
Good question. So I would say no, I mean, it's okay. So if you're applying to certain majors, in hopes that you get into law school or medical school or something like that, this isn't really the place to do that in an essay. Really, what you're trying to do here is just describe yourself from certain character traits through an essay, and you don't really have to talk about your future career goals that can be done really well in other essays, for example, like why major essays right? There, you can really describe what courses you intend to take the score of interest, why you're interested in those courses, and how they play into your future career goals. Typically, on the common app, we don't see that future career goal projection done by students, because students should rather be focusing on really convincing admissions reader. This is why I am this is why i what i can contribute to the university.
Right. Lillian asks, could you write about something like surgery, even if it happened a little before high school? For sure, why not? But I would say that makes sure that if you're going to write about To surgery, it has direct impact on who you are today. Right? Ideally, you know, surgery is kind of, I would say, like a one time, not a one time thing, lifelong effects, I would say. But make sure it has impact on you at least say like one to two years before today. So when talking about it, you can write for more kind of like a current stamp. But yeah, it's a very kind of unique story. And it follows all these guidelines that we talked about today.
Definitely go for it.
Why it is interesting question, I would actually ask clarification for Wyatt. So you said could prompt six be an other world, worldly topic? So prompt six is this.
I see what you're saying. So maybe you're talking about? Can we talk about some things that are out of this world? Like the Milky Way galaxy? Andromeda Galaxy? Mars, maybe? Yeah, I would say so. It'd be pretty captivating to talk about astronomy here. But again, just don't talk about it for the sake of talking about an academic subject.
Talk about it, about why it captivates you.
Why? You're so moved by the idea of astronomy first.
Yeah. But again, if I didn't answer that question correctly, feel free to correct me.
Right? Am I asked? Do you think it would be better to write about an interest I loved as a child, and I've grown in it over time, and have accomplishments stemming from it, or should write an essay about a medical journey I've gone through and grown through. I think they're both great ideas. what's worrying me about the first point is that if you have an interest that you loved as a child, is it still relevant today?
Right? If not, then you might not want to write about it.
But if it is, it still impacts each day and you still have that same interest. Go for it.
I would say both would possibly make strong stories.
Okay, um, another question we have from Kurt. Our traits and characteristics that be kumain are essays shouldn't be explicitly said. It should be inferred by the reader. Correct? Right on, right on, Kurt. That's what we're trying to get out. Right, implicitly express who we are by showing, showing how we interact with the world, showing it through the narrative, rather than directly saying, I'm a curious person. I am a leader. You can show it through your language and your tone. That's what we're trying to go for. So kudos to you.
Felicia asks, in terms of readability, will the admissions officers care about the flesh Kincaid score? flesh Kincaid is probably heard of that before but readability test? No, they're not going to put a metric onto your essay, I just looked it up what it was, no, they're not going to kind of judge your essay quality based on a score derived from some rubric. Rather, you want to make sure that your essay is readable though. Like you don't want to incomplete sentences, you don't want bad grammar? Because that won't be read well, by the admissions readers, especially at selective schools. They're expecting some kind of level of reading advocacy, literacy, and reading these essays. But yeah, they're not going to, again, not going to put it against the rubric to score it.
All right, Abigail asked question, could you read about health question, I'll say allergies, and how it affects the daily doing whatever you can to help the situation, the choices to keep doing what you love, despite the allergies.
Okay, so this kind of goes back to your question before Abigail, about talking? How do we have to talk about things that are like super momentous? Or can they be smaller things that impact us daily, day to day, right? In some ways, again, I don't know like the personal influence of allergies on your life. But maybe allergies might not be as impactful or might not make as strong of a story, or convince admissions readers that this was any adversity at all right. I feel like everyone goes through allergies, but maybe yours are super severe, or not just like seasonal allergies, maybe there's something in life threatening to it. So that life threatening aspect has really influenced your life. That could be something profound to talk about. I will say like season allergies might not be as convincing to admissions reader might not seem super like drastic or anything like that.
So I would definitely kind of just make sure it's like a super profound thing.
Okay, well, we'll take another couple minutes to answer questions. More coming through. Lance us. I've read CommonApp essays with a conclusion that basically says, all these things happen to me and made me more adaptable, etc. for college. He suggests things like this.
Yeah, so usually, conclusions don't matter as much. It's really about the introduction, or the body of the essay, I would say, right? conclusion, conclusions, I really mattered. Those are when I review essays are kind of like the smaller things that I care about. But I would say kind of make sure you address the theme. You kind of wrap up the story as well, as oftentimes, this could be an academic, I wouldn't say it's like the strongest ending, but it also, it's not like a weekend. But there's definitely ways to be more creative. So do I suggest an ending like this? If it happens, I don't really mind it. But I would ask like, Can you make this essay ending more interesting, for example?
Okay, I asked, as I'm using conversational tone throughout my essay, will that address as genuine and emotional? Or will they be more concerned that vocabulary isn't complex? Great point. So oftentimes, for essays you don't need kind of like the most complex vocabulary. Rather, what readers are asking for is complex thoughts, thoughts that are unique to you. thoughts that can only come from you, and thoughts that really show a lot of introspection, right? So vocabulary here doesn't have to be complex. The ideas should be complex in some way. Not to confuse the reader, but to show who you are in a more unique way. If you're doing conversational tone, that's actually kind of helpful, right? You want to put things in your own kind of vernacular.
And it might, it usually comes off as more genuine.
In terms of being emotional. Usually, it's not the tone that you bought. Yeah, this is the tone. But it's also the stuff that you share in the essay. And I guess it is tone and word choice. Yeah, I think you're doing a good job. I think you get the idea. But yeah, so recapping what I said, use conversational tone, it's helpful. But don't make it so conversational, that you're using a lot of slang in your own dialect. If that makes sense, and it's okay not to use like super complex vocabulary. Okay, perfect. I'll take another minute or so to answer more questions. There's a lot coming in, which is awesome. Okay, Kurt asks, Is there a general format, just with a common FSA? Yeah, so we talked about structures a little bit before, I'll go back to that slide.
Um, in terms of format, so if I'll just talk about the narrative essay structure, we're gonna have an introduction, maybe a couple body paragraphs, and then a conclusion. It's nothing really too fancy there? Um, yeah, I wouldn't say it's like a typical, say English project for high school class, I would say you can kind of make it what you want. It doesn't have to be four to five sentences for every paragraph. Some paragraphs can just be one sentence, as long as that sentence is very impactful, or is that way for a purpose, right. So there's no like one general format or suggest, but usually, these structures are what we see most. And within that, feel free to use different paragraph points, or, yeah, but in general, you know, introduction, kind of set the scene, set what you're talking about. body paragraph to kind of introduce your ideas, introduce who you are in the context of whatever's going on. In conclusion, again, like I mentioned before, doesn't really matter as much, but should generally wrap up the theme and idea.
All right, great. Let's wrap up for today.
Really great questions. Overall.
I think you guys were asking really in depth questions. A lot of them I haven't heard before. So really, really good job. Thank you guys for that. Awesome. So hope you guys enjoyed your weekend. Hopefully you guys enjoyed this livestream. I'll see you guys next time. And love you guys game. Alright, take care now.
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Undergrad College: Boston University '20
Major: Medical Science
Graduate College: Boston University School of Medicine
Work Experience: I've been working at CollegeVine for 6 years mentoring students through BS/MD and undergraduate admissions. I have held many roles on the advising and livestream teams. I am currently a medical student at Boston University and actively pursuing research at Boston University, Mass General Brigham and the Broad Institute.
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Likes, Shares, and Beyond: Exploring the Impact of Social Media in Essays
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Table of contents
- 1 Definition and Explanation of a Social Media Essay
- 2.1 Topics for an Essay on Social Media and Mental Health
- 2.2 Social Dynamics
- 2.3 Social Media Essay Topics about Business
- 2.4 Politics
- 3 Research and Analysis
- 4 Structure Social Media Essay
- 5 Tips for Writing Essays on Social Media
- 6 Examples of Social Media Essays
- 7 Navigating the Social Media Labyrinth: Key Insights
In the world of digital discourse, our article stands as a beacon for those embarking on the intellectual journey of writing about social media. It is a comprehensive guide for anyone venturing into the dynamic world of social media essays. Offering various topics about social media and practical advice on selecting engaging subjects, the piece delves into research methodologies, emphasizing the importance of credible sources and trend analysis. Furthermore, it provides invaluable tips on structuring essays, including crafting compelling thesis statements and hooks balancing factual information with personal insights. Concluding with examples of exemplary essays, this article is an essential tool for students and researchers alike, aiding in navigating the intricate landscape of its impact on society.
Definition and Explanation of a Social Media Essay
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Essentially, when one asks “What is a social media essay?” they are referring to an essay that analyzes, critiques, or discusses its various dimensions and effects. These essays can range from the psychological implications of its use to its influence on politics, business strategies, and social dynamics.
A social media essay is an academic or informational piece that explores various aspects of social networking platforms and their impact on individuals and society.
In crafting such an essay, writers blend personal experiences, analytical perspectives, and empirical data to paint a full picture of social media’s role. For instance, a social media essay example could examine how these platforms mold public opinion, revolutionize digital marketing strategies, or raise questions about data privacy ethics. Through a mix of thorough research, critical analysis, and personal reflections, these essays provide a layered understanding of one of today’s most pivotal digital phenomena.
Great Social Media Essay Topics
When it comes to selecting a topic for your essay, consider its current relevance, societal impact, and personal interest. Whether exploring the effects on business, politics, mental health, or social dynamics, these social media essay titles offer a range of fascinating social media topic ideas. Each title encourages an exploration of the intricate relationship between social media and our daily lives. A well-chosen topic should enable you to investigate the impact of social media, debate ethical dilemmas, and offer unique insights. Striking the right balance in scope, these topics should align with the objectives of your essays, ensuring an informative and captivating read.
Topics for an Essay on Social Media and Mental Health
- The Impact of Social Media on Self-Esteem.
- Unpacking Social Media Addiction: Causes, Effects, and Solutions.
- Analyzing Social Media’s Role as a Catalyst for Teen Depression and Anxiety.
- Social Media and Mental Health Awareness: A Force for Good?
- The Psychological Impacts of Cyberbullying in the Social Media Age.
- The Effects of Social Media on Sleep and Mental Health.
- Strategies for Positive Mental Health in the Era of Social Media.
- Real-Life vs. Social Media Interactions: An Essay on Mental Health Aspects.
- The Mental Well-Being Benefits of a Social Media Detox.
- Social Comparison Psychology in the Realm of Social Media.
Social Dynamics
- Social Media and its Impact on Interpersonal Communication Skills: A Cause and Effect Essay on Social Media.
- Cultural Integration through Social Media: A New Frontier.
- Interpersonal Communication in the Social Media Era: Evolving Skills and Challenges.
- Community Building and Social Activism: The Role of Social Media.
- Youth Culture and Behavior: The Influence of Social Media.
- Privacy and Personal Boundaries: Navigating Social Media Challenges.
- Language Evolution in Social Media: A Dynamic Shift.
- Leveraging Social Media for Social Change and Awareness.
- Family Dynamics in the Social Media Landscape.
- Friendship in the Age of Social Media: An Evolving Concept.
Social Media Essay Topics about Business
- Influencer Marketing on Social Media: Impact and Ethics.
- Brand Building and Customer Engagement: The Power of Social Media.
- The Ethics and Impact of Influencer Marketing in Social Media.
- Measuring Business Success Through Social Media Analytics.
- The Changing Face of Advertising in the Social Media World.
- Revolutionizing Customer Service in the Social Media Era.
- Market Research and Consumer Insights: The Social Media Advantage.
- Small Businesses and Startups: The Impact of Social Media.
- Ethical Dimensions of Social Media Advertising.
- Consumer Behavior and Social Media: An Intricate Relationship.
- The Role of Social Media in Government Transparency and Accountability
- Social Media’s Impact on Political Discourse and Public Opinion.
- Combating Fake News on Social Media: Implications for Democracy.
- Political Mobilization and Activism: The Power of Social Media.
- Social Media: A New Arena for Political Debates and Discussions.
- Government Transparency and Accountability in the Social Media Age.
- Voter Behavior and Election Outcomes: The Social Media Effect.
- Political Polarization: A Social Media Perspective.
- Tackling Political Misinformation on Social Media Platforms.
- The Ethics of Political Advertising in the Social Media Landscape.
- Memes as a Marketing Tool: Successes, Failures, and Pros of Social Media.
- Shaping Public Opinion with Memes: A Social Media Phenomenon.
- Political Satire and Social Commentary through Memes.
- The Psychology Behind Memes: Understanding Their Viral Nature.
- The Influence of Memes on Language and Communication.
- Tracing the History and Evolution of Internet Memes.
- Memes in Online Communities: Culture and Subculture Formation.
- Navigating Copyright and Legal Issues in the World of Memes.
- Memes as a Marketing Strategy: Analyzing Successes and Failures.
- Memes and Global Cultural Exchange: A Social Media Perspective.
Research and Analysis
In today’s fast-paced information era, the ability to sift through vast amounts of data and pinpoint reliable information is more crucial than ever. Research and analysis in the digital age hinge on identifying credible sources and understanding the dynamic landscape. Initiating your research with reputable websites is key. Academic journals, government publications, and established news outlets are gold standards for reliable information. Online databases and libraries provide a wealth of peer-reviewed articles and books. For websites, prioritize those with domains like .edu, .gov, or .org, but always critically assess the content for bias and accuracy. Turning to social media, it’s a trove of real-time data and trends but requires a discerning approach. Focus on verified accounts and official pages of recognized entities.
Analyzing current trends and user behavior is crucial for staying relevant. Platforms like Google Trends, Twitter Analytics, and Facebook Insights offer insights into what’s resonating with audiences. These tools help identify trending topics, hashtags, and the type of content that engages users. Remember, it reflects and influences public opinion and behavior. Observing user interactions, comments, and shares can provide a deeper understanding of consumer attitudes and preferences. This analysis is invaluable for tailoring content, developing marketing strategies, and staying ahead in a rapidly evolving digital landscape.
Structure Social Media Essay
In constructing a well-rounded structure for a social media essay, it’s crucial to begin with a strong thesis statement. This sets the foundation for essays about social media and guides the narrative.
Thesis Statements
A thesis statement is the backbone of your essay, outlining the main argument or position you will explore throughout the text. It guides the narrative, providing a clear direction for your essay and helping readers understand the focus of your analysis or argumentation. Here are some thesis statements:
- “Social media has reshaped communication, fostering a connected world through instant information sharing, yet it has come at the cost of privacy and genuine social interaction.”
- “While social media platforms act as potent instruments for societal and political transformation, they present significant challenges to mental health and the authenticity of information.”
- “The role of social media in contemporary business transcends mere marketing; it impacts customer relationships, shapes brand perception, and influences operational strategies.”
Social Media Essay Hooks
Social media essay hooks are pivotal in grabbing the reader’s attention right from the beginning and compelling them to continue reading. A well-crafted hook acts as the engaging entry point to your essay, setting the tone and framing the context for the discussion that will follow.
Here are some effective social media essay hooks:
- “In a world where a day without social media is unimaginable, its pervasive presence is both a testament to its utility and a source of various societal issues.”
- “Each scroll, like, and share on social media platforms carries the weight of influencing public opinion and shaping global conversations.”
- “Social media has become so ingrained in our daily lives that its absence would render the modern world unrecognizable.”
Introduction:
Navigating the digital landscape, an introduction for a social media essay serves as a map, charting the terrain of these platforms’ broad influence across various life aspects. This section should briefly summarize the scope of the essay, outlining both the benefits and the drawbacks, and segue into the thesis statement.
When we move to the body part of the essay, it offers an opportunity for an in-depth exploration and discussion. It can be structured first to examine the positive aspects of social media, including improved communication channels, innovative marketing strategies, and the facilitation of social movements. Following this, the essay should address the negative implications, such as issues surrounding privacy, the impact on mental health, and the proliferation of misinformation. Incorporating real-world examples, statistical evidence, and expert opinions throughout the essay will provide substantial support for the arguments presented.
Conclusion:
It is the summit of the essay’s exploration, offering a moment to look back on the terrain covered. The conclusion should restate the thesis in light of the discussions presented in the body. It should summarize the key points made, reflecting on the multifaceted influence of social media in contemporary society. The essay should end with a thought-provoking statement or question about the future role of social media, tying back to the initial hooks and ensuring a comprehensive and engaging end to the discourse.
Tips for Writing Essays on Social Media
In the ever-evolving realm of digital dialogue, mastering the art of essay writing on social media is akin to navigating a complex web of virtual interactions and influences. Writing an essay on social media requires a blend of analytical insight, factual accuracy, and a nuanced understanding of the digital landscape. Here are some tips to craft a compelling essay:
- Incorporate Statistical Data and Case Studies
Integrate statistical data and relevant case studies to lend credibility to your arguments. For instance, usage statistics, growth trends, and demographic information can provide a solid foundation for your points. Case studies, especially those highlighting its impact on businesses, politics, or societal change, offer concrete examples that illustrate your arguments. Ensure your sources are current and reputable to maintain the essay’s integrity.
- Balance Personal Insights with Factual Information
While personal insights can add a unique perspective to your essay, balancing them with factual information is crucial. Personal observations and experiences can make your essay relatable and engaging, but grounding these insights in factual data ensures credibility and helps avoid bias.
- Respect Privacy
When discussing real-world examples or case studies, especially those involving individuals or specific organizations, be mindful of privacy concerns. Avoid sharing sensitive information, and always respect the confidentiality of your sources.
- Maintain an Objective Tone
It is a polarizing topic, but maintaining an objective tone in your essay is essential. Avoid emotional language and ensure that your arguments are supported by evidence. An objective approach allows readers to form opinions based on the information presented.
- Use Jargon Wisely
While using social media-specific terminology can make your essay relevant and informed, it’s important to use jargon judiciously. Avoid overuse and ensure that terms are clearly defined for readers who might not be familiar with their lingo.
Examples of Social Media Essays
Title: The Dichotomy of Social Media: A Tool for Connection and a Platform for Division
Introduction
In the digital era, social media has emerged as a paradoxical entity. It serves as a bridge connecting distant corners of the world and a battleground for conflicting ideologies. This essay explores this dichotomy, utilizing statistical data, case studies, and real-world examples to understand its multifaceted impact on society.
Section 1 – Connection Through Social Media:
Social media’s primary allure lies in its ability to connect. A report by the Pew Research Center shows that 72% of American adults use some form of social media, where interactions transcend geographical and cultural barriers. This statistic highlights the platform’s popularity and role in fostering global connections. An exemplary case study of this is the #MeToo movement. Originating as a hashtag on Twitter, it grew into a global campaign against sexual harassment, demonstrating its power to mobilize and unify people for a cause.
However, personal insights suggest that while it bridges distances, it can also create a sense of isolation. Users often report feeling disconnected from their immediate surroundings, hinting at the platform’s double-edged nature. Despite enabling connections on a global scale, social media can paradoxically alienate individuals from their local context.
Section 2 – The Platform for Division
Conversely, social media can amplify societal divisions. Its algorithm-driven content can create echo chambers, reinforcing users’ preexisting beliefs. A study by the Knight Foundation found that it tends to polarize users, especially in political contexts, leading to increased division. This is further exacerbated by the spread of misinformation, as seen in the 2016 U.S. Presidential Election case, where it was used to disseminate false information, influencing public opinion and deepening societal divides.
Respecting privacy and maintaining an objective tone, it is crucial to acknowledge that social media is not divisive. Its influence is determined by both its usage and content. Thus, it is the obligation of both platforms to govern content and consumers to access information.
In conclusion, it is a complex tool. It has the unparalleled ability to connect individuals worldwide while possessing the power to divide. Balancing the personal insights with factual information presented, it’s clear that its influence is a reflection of how society chooses to wield it. As digital citizens, it is imperative to use it judiciously, understanding its potential to unite and divide.
Delving into the intricacies of social media’s impact necessitates not just a keen eye for detail but an analytical mindset to dissect its multifaceted layers. Analysis is paramount because it allows us to navigate through the vast sea of information, distinguishing between mere opinion and well-supported argumentation.
This essay utilizes tips for writing a social media essay. Statistical data from the Pew Research Center and the Knight Foundation lend credibility to the arguments. The use of the #MeToo movement as a case study illustrates its positive impact, while the reference to the 2016 U.S. Presidential Election demonstrates its negative aspects. The essay balances personal insights with factual information, respects privacy, maintains an objective tone, and appropriately uses jargon. The structure is clear and logical, with distinct sections for each aspect of its impact, making it an informative and well-rounded analysis of its role in modern society.
Navigating the Social Media Labyrinth: Key Insights
In the digital age, the impact of social media on various aspects of human life has become a critical area of study. This article has provided a comprehensive guide for crafting insightful and impactful essays on this subject, blending personal experiences with analytical rigor. Through a detailed examination of topics ranging from mental health and social dynamics to business and politics, it has underscored the dual nature of social media as both a unifying and divisive force. The inclusion of statistical data and case studies has enriched the discussion, offering a grounded perspective on the nuanced effects of these platforms.
The tips and structures outlined serve as a valuable framework for writers to navigate the complex interplay between social media and societal shifts. As we conclude, it’s clear that understanding social media’s role requires a delicate balance of critical analysis and open-mindedness. Reflecting on its influence, this article guides the creation of thoughtful essays and encourages readers to ponder the future of digital interactions and their implications for the fabric of society.
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Social Media Essay: A Comprehensive Guide
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- Emily Scott
In an age when one tweet can start a global conversation and an Instagram picture may change trends, it's amazing to realize that the typical person spends about 2 hours and 31 minutes every day on social media sites. That's more than 900 hours a year spent scrolling, enjoying, and sharing in the huge digital world. As we grow more enmeshed in the fabric of online communities, the need of understanding and communicating the dynamics of social media through the written word, particularly in a social media essay, becomes clearer. So, why begin on the adventure of writing an essay about this common feature of modern life?
Social Media Essay Introduction
In this post, we'll look at how to write an essay on social media and why these narratives exist, as well as a variety of other interesting topics. From the heartbeat of internet relationships to the rhythm of good narrative, we'll walk you through the process, giving tips on structure, technique, and the creative soul that distinguishes each essay. And whether you're seeking assistance or wondering
Why Write a Social Media Essay
In a world filled with hashtags, filters, and the continual hum of notifications, sitting down to write an essay about social media may appear as out of place as a cassette tape in a streaming era. However, there's something strangely cathartic, almost rebellious, about pausing in the midst of 280-character wisdom to delve deeper into the why of our digital existence.
So, what exactly is a social media essay, and why would you write one? It's more than just a test of intellectual curiosity. It's a personal trip, a meditative break in the never-ending scroll. While writing the essay, we get the ability to articulate the intangible, to give life to the pixels that dance across our screens. It's an opportunity to make sense of the chaos, find meaning in the memes, and, perhaps, learn a little more about ourselves in this digital wilderness.
Let's be honest: our online lives revolve around memes, viral challenges, and meticulously edited selfies. So, why bother wrestling with words and paragraphs in a world when brevity reigns supreme? The solution lies in the art of unraveling the digital fabric that surrounds us.
There's something magical in articulating the dance between the sublime and the banal that happens within the limits of our screens. An article serves as a lens, focusing our attention on the nuances of social media dynamics, such as internal jokes that become global phenomena, the ripple effect of a well-timed retweet, and the quiet conversations that occur in the comment sections.
6 Key Tips for Writing a Social Media Essay
Now that we've embarked on a journey of writing essays about the digital landscape, it's only fair to arm ourselves with a few reliable tools. Consider these guidelines to be your compass, guiding you through the sometimes turbulent, often unforeseen waters of writing a social media essay.
Define your angle : Choose a specific aspect of social media to focus on. Will you explore its impact on education, mental health, political discourse, or something else entirely? Having a clear angle will guide your research and make your essay more cohesive.
Research like a pro : Don't just rely on personal anecdotes or opinions. Dig into academic journals, credible news sources, and relevant statistics to support your arguments. Consider interviewing experts or everyday users of social media to gain diverse perspectives.
Strike a balance : Acknowledge both the positive and negative impacts of social media. Avoid portraying it as a simple "good" or "bad" phenomenon. Show your critical thinking skills by presenting a nuanced discussion of its complexities.
Engage your audience : Use vivid language, relatable examples, and even humor (if appropriate) to keep your reader hooked. Remember, you're competing with the constant distractions of social media itself, so make your essay engaging and thought-provoking.
Support your claims : Every point you make should be backed up with evidence. This could include factual data, quotes from experts, or personal stories that illustrate your arguments. Use relevant and credible sources to strengthen your essay's credibility.
Conclude with a bang : Don't just summarize your points. Offer a thoughtful conclusion that ties everything together and leaves your reader with something to ponder. Perhaps propose solutions to identified problems or suggest areas for further research.
Social Media Essay Topics
In the huge world of social media, where every like and share adds to the digital story, selecting the proper social media essay titles and topics becomes an important compass for inquiry. Let's look at thought-provoking themes that will not only hold your interest but also spark thoughtful discussions about the complexities of our linked world.
Individual & Identity:
The impact of social media on self-esteem and body image.
How social media shapes our sense of identity and belonging.
The rise of "fake personas" and the concept of online authenticity.
Social media and the pressure to conform to unrealistic beauty standards.
The impact of social media on mental health and anxiety.
Society & Culture:
The role of social media in spreading misinformation and propaganda.
The rise of "echo chambers" and political polarization.
How social media influences social movements and activism.
The influence of social media on conventional media and journalism.
The ethics of data gathering and privacy issues on social networking.
Business & Marketing:
The effectiveness of social media marketing for businesses and brands.
The development of influencer marketing and its effects on consumer behavior.
Social media advertising presents both obstacles and opportunity.
The ethical considerations of targeted advertising and data use.
The future of social media and its role in the global economy.
Specific Platforms:
The unique impact of specific platforms like Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, TikTok, etc.
The evolution of social media platforms and their changing features.
The impact of social media on specific demographics like teenagers, young adults, or seniors.
The ethical concerns and controversies surrounding specific platforms.
The future of specific platforms and their potential impact on society.
If these subjects sparked your attention, you'll probably find persuasive essay ideas to be just as fascinating! Dive into our post to discover a selection of possibilities that can catch your interest and inspire your next writing project.
Wrapping Up
As our university essay writing service professionals wrap up this post, we've explored the emotional intricacies, societal reflections, and transformative potentials buried in our digital narratives. An article on social media offers a glimpse into the delicate dance of our online lives, encouraging introspection, empathy, and knowledge of other stories. Allow your articles to honestly reflect, sparking discussions that deepen our collective experience in this ever-changing digital universe.
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FORM 5 SAMPLE ESSAYS
According to the latest format (SPM CEFR) New format starting 2021 The compilation of sample essays is done by: Cg Tong Mei Ling Cg Siti Noorhanisah binti Johaire Cg Siti Hasyimah binti Nordin Cg Jonathan Ong Ujang
PART 1: MODEL QUESTION 1 You received an email from your friend, Arun. Hi, Dad has finally agreed to take my family for an island visit. As you are always telling me about the thrilling moments you have during your visits, I would like you to suggest an ideal island trip for my family to go for a holiday. Is there any hotel that you would like to recommend? Do let me know the activities we can do there? What are the things that I need to take along? I’ll be waiting for your reply. Bye! Arun Now, write an email to your friend in about 80 words. Write your answer below. To: [email protected] From: [email protected] Subject: Island trip Hi, Arun! How are you? Glad to hear about your family trip. Pulau Besar in Melaka would be the island that you are looking for. The Aseania Beach Resort has a lot of good reviews. This resort has comfort and mesmerizing view. On this island, there are many activities for you to venture. During your jungle trekking, you can embrace the exotic flora and fauna.Another adventurous activity you would undergo is island hopping onto other neighbouring island and enjoying secret that they have to offer. As you are a food lover, don’t forget to go to Kayu Manis restaurant where scrumptious food awaits you. Make sure you take your camera along to capture the breathtaking views. The most important things are your swimming attire, sun tan lotion, sunglasses as well as your hat. Hope you have a whale of time with your family at Pulau Besar. Send my regards to them! Your friend, John 2
PART 1: MODEL QUESTION 2 You received an email from your friend, Ramesh. Hi, Ismail! As the Assistant Head Prefect, I was asked to write an article for the school magazine about what students should do and should not do at school in order to keep clean, hygienic and safe. Could you give me some pointers, please! I will be waiting for your reply. Bye! Ramesh Now, write an email to your friend in about 80 words. Write your answer below. To: [email protected] From: [email protected] Subject: Pointers to keep clean, hygienic and safe Hi, Ramesh! How are you? I hope you are doing well there. Here are some pointers that I could think of. Firstly, all students must arrive at school wearing a face cover or mask and continue wearing it all through, especially when in class, or doing any activity in groups. Remind all students not to exchange masks with others. In additions, every student needs to learn how to cough or sneeze into a tissue or elbow and avoid touching face, eyes, mouth and nose. Perhaps, schools can supply necessary equipment like gloves, face masks, hand washing soaps for sanitation. That is all from me! I will write to you more when I have more ideas. Regards, Ismail 3
PART 1: MODEL QUESTION 3 You received and email from your friend, Jay. Hi Rosli, I was down with fever and sore throat for the past few days. So, I missed the talk given by Mr Shamsuddin, our school counsellor. How was the talk? Could you tell me what was said about hobbies? Bye! Jay Now, write an email to your friend in about 80 words. Write your answer below. To: [email protected] From: [email protected] Subject: The content of the talk given by our school counsellor Hi Jay, How are you? I hope you are feeling better now. Mr Shamsuddin had delivered a very insightful talk that day. Well, he talked about several hobbies. He said that collecting is a great hobby since it can involve collecting just about anything that appeals to us. Writing stories or poems can be a great hobby too. Building models is a great hobby because it has a wide appeal to all teens. Then, he mentioned that music promotes creativity, self-expression, and self- confidence. Finally, according to him, taking up photography as a hobby has never been easier or less expensive. These are the points that he talked about the other day. Feel free to text me anytime if you need more information! Take care and stay safe there! Best wishes, Rosli 4
PART 1: MODEL QUESTION 4 You received an email from your friend, Harry. Hi, My friends and I were talking about were modern teenagers go shopping the most. As you are living in the city, I would like to know your opinion on this issue. Where would you go shopping the most? Is it the sports shops, clothes shops, electronic shops or somewhere else? Tell me what kind of shop and what would you like to buy. Why is it important? I’ll be waiting for your reply. Bye! Harry Now, write an email to your friend in about 80 words. Write your answer below. To: [email protected] From: [email protected] Subject: Where to shop Hi Harry, I just saw the email you sent. I hope you are in the pink. Based on my opinion, I would like to go to electronics shop because as you know, I am a tech freak. Since I was a kid, I always go to the computer shop every weekend just to window shop on the new arrivals for computer parts. The IT Tech is my favourite shop to go to. Currently, I want to get new graphics card for my desktop. I am planning to get the RTX 3090 which is the same price as RTX 2080Ti but it is more powerful. It is important for me to purchase this because I have a lot of online classes recently and my desktop is starting to lag due to my old graphics card. So, I have decided to get one! Sorry, I have to go now. I will call you when I am free! Hope you like my opinion. Bye! Warm regards, Charles 5
PART 1: MODEL QUESTION 5 You received an email from your teacher. New message To : [email protected] From : [email protected] Subject : Extension on Deadline for Assignment Hello everyone, Many of you have asked for an extension to the assignment due next Friday. If you need an extension, please email me, informing me officially that you cannot meet the assignment deadline, and explain why you are not able to complete it in time. Let me know what you will do in response. Thank you. Sincerely, Mrs Joseph Now, write an email to your teacher in about 80 words. Write your answer below. New message To: [email protected] From: [email protected] Subject: Request: Extension on Deadline for Assignment Hi Mrs Joseph, How are you? Hope you are safe and sound there. I am requesting an extension to the deadline. To be honest, I have unfortunately fallen ill after being exposed to the coronavirus. I have been having a high fever, and my throat is scratchy. I am aching all over as well. I am not sure how I contracted with the virus. Therefore, I am unable to meet the deadline for the English book analysis assignment. I had no energy to work on the task. All this while, I have been in isolation and resting at home. A soon as I can, I will complete the work and email it to you. Thank you for your kind understanding. Sincerely, Alib bin Aqwan 6
PART 2: MODEL QUESTION 1 (Theme: Science & Technology) Your class has been discussing the pros and cons of gadgets for students. Your English language teacher has asked you to write an essay about the advantage and disadvantages of mobile phones. Your essay must be written in 125 -150 words. In your essay, you should write about: PROS AND CONS OF MOBILE PHONES ADVANTAGES DISADVANTAGES • Keep up to date with current issues • Students become passive • Learn many new skills online • Neglecting their duties • Source of entertainment • Tendencies to commit crime is high Mobile phones is so popular today that now it becomes a necessity for everyone. Mobile phone is indeed a wonderful invention of man. It does not only help people to communicate but also to entertain. However, there are advantages and disadvantages of mobile phones for students. The first advantage is we can keep ourselves up to date using mobile phones. It keeps us informed of all current issues happening around the world. Information is shared throughout various platform such as Google, Facebook, Twitter, Whatsapp and Youtube where we can read news and watch video online. Secondly, we can learn many new skills using our mobile phone. There are many language teaching programs, baking and decoration classes online. We do not have to travel far to learn new skills. We can use Zoom, Google Meet or Skype to join a class and study. Thirdly, mobile phone is a source of entertainment. We can watch movies, drama, music videos, songs or play games after a hard day’s at school. We can relax at home and watch movies that we like without having to go to the cinema. Nevertheless, there are disadvantages of mobile phone for students. First, students gradually become passive in their action. It may prevent us from socializing with other people in real life. Students might prefer playing games or watching videos online rather than spending quality time with family and friends. Secondly, students have the tendencies to be neglecting their duties. They neglect their homework or revision because they are so keen on using their mobile phones. They also tend to refuse helping with house chores because they do not want to miss watching their favourite drama. Thirdly, the bad influence of mobile phones on the young generation is inevitable. It encourages them to commit crimes. Violence, nudity, and irrelevance trends can be accessed easily online. This can lead to robbery, theft, cyberbullying, spreading fake news and murder. In a nutshell, mobile phone is very useful in today’s world. However, as a student, we must know how to use mobile phone wisely. Be extra careful not to overindulge in it and use it sensibly. 9
PART 2: MODEL QUESTION 2 (Theme: Health & Environment) You watched a television program about animals and learnt about animal extinction. Write an essay expressing your opinion and feelings in the increase number of endangered species. Your essay must be written in 125 -150 words. CAUSES CONTRIBUTING TO ANIMAL EXTINCTION • POACHING – illegal international trade, increase in demand for exotic animal parts (trophies, fashion accessories), sale of live animals • LOSS OF HABITAT – less water and food sources • OVERHARVESTING MARINE LIFE – environmental issues Write the essay using all the notes and give your opinions and feelings on animal extinction. Man is in danger of destroying his own species and that of Mother Nature. A prevalent problem is the growing extinction of animal species. Animal lovers are unhappy that certain animal species are becoming extinct. Extinction occurs when species are diminished because of environmental forces or because of evolutionary changes in their members. There are several causes contributing to this issue. First and foremost, one of the causes which lead to animal extinction is the act of poaching. Many studies have also documented large declines in wildlife populations due to overhunting and poaching. For instance, the Blue Whale was almost plunged into extinction, losing 99% of its numbers as a result of poaching. The illegal international animal trade has prompted poaching and sale of exotic animal parts to make trophies and fashion accessories like crocodile skin bags, rhino talismans and medicinal concoctions. Some examples of illegal wildlife trade are well known, such as poaching of elephants for ivory and tigers for their skins and bones. Even captured live animals become exotic human pets. Secondly, forests are cleared for economic development resulting in loss of habitats and tree cover. Wild animals are bereft of food and water sources. When a habitat is destroyed, the carrying capacity for indigenous plants, animals, and other organisms is reduced so that populations decline, sometimes up to the level of extinction. Habitat loss is perhaps the greatest threat to organisms and biodiversity. A large number of animals would have problem surviving due to the loss of habitat. Moreover, marine life is also threatened by overharvesting marine resources. Overharvesting, or overfishing in the case of fish and marine invertebrates, depletes some species to very low numbers and drives others to extinction. In practical terms, it reduces valuable living resources to such low levels that their exploitation is no longer sustainable. The most-familiar cases involve whales and fisheries. Apart from that, some oceans and seas are environmentally polluted by both industrial and human waste which could threaten the lives of marines living in the sea or ocean. To sum up, I am afraid the global eco-system and the drastic climate change would be unable to meet the food and water demands for both human and animal survival. I fear for the end of human race. 10
PART 2: MODEL QUESTION 3 (Theme: Consumerism and Financial Awareness) You watched a documentary about the evolution of online shopping in Malaysia. Write an essay expressing your opinion on the benefits of online shopping. Your essay must be written in 125 -150 words. Write the essay using all the notes and give your opinions on the benefits of online shopping. CONVENIENT • SHOP AT ANYTIME AND ANYWHERE • BUY ITEMS FROM DIFFERENT PARTS OF THE WORLD VARIETY OF OPTIONS • ABLE TO VISIT NUMEROUS SHOPS AT THE SAME TIME • CHOICES OF DIFFERENT STYLES, COLOUR AND SIZES EXCITING OFFERS • GET DISCOUNT AND VOUCHER • COMPARE PRICES BEFORE BUYING FOR GREAT DEALS With the development of technology, human in today world can easily buy almost anything just by a few clicks. It is becoming a popular trend for purchasing in present time. Shopping online has many benefits. First, online shopping is beneficial as it makes shopping more convenient than ever. We can shop at anytime and anywhere. Customers do not have to drive a long way to shop or spend hours queuing up just to buy things that they need. They can also buy items that they want from different parts of the world. Some products are not available locally therefore online shopping is the best way to make the purchase. Secondly, online shopping offers variety of options. Customers are able to visit numerous shops at the same time to search for the same products. Online shops offers many choices of different styles, colour and sizes. Customers can just browse through the catalogue and make their purchase once they find product that suits their requirement. Lastly, online stores tend to have exciting offers for their products. Customers can get discounts and voucher which are very appealing. Buying items online also enables customers to compare prices before buying for great deals. Online shopping is gaining popularity as more people make use of computers, mobile phones and the internet. I believe that online shopping has many benefits. It is convenient, offers greater variety, and enables the customer to get the best price for the products. 11
PART 2: MODEL QUESTION 4 (Theme: People & Culture) Your class has been discussing on activities to do during holidays. Some of you plan to go on a vacation. Your English language teacher has asked you to suggest the best place to go during the holiday. Your essay must be written in 125 -150 words. In your essay, you should write about: • NAME OF THE PLACE/LOCATION – Redang Island - one of the largest islands off the east cost of Peninsular Malaysia - 45 kilometers from the coast of the city of Kuala Terengganu - known as Terengganu Marine Park • TRANSPORTATION TO GET THERE - accessed from Merang Jetty in Kuala Terengganu - flights from Kuala Lumpur to Redang Island • ACCOMODATION AND PRICES - 5-star luxurious resorts - stay in the tent at a campsite - RM200 to RM400 – travel package • INTERESTING ACTIVITIES – scuba diving, snorkeling, jungle trekking, visit Redang Marine Center, watch sunset, enjoy local delicacies Holidays are the most awaited time of the year. Imagine you are sitting on the beach, hypnotized by the repeated chants of the waves and tropical sea breezes against your skin. That is what you will experienced at Redang Island. Whenever it is school holiday, I will always go here to visit my grandparents. Redang Island is one of the largest islands off the east cost of Peninsular Malaysia. Redang lies within protected marine waters, also known as Terengganu Marine Park. It is located about 45 kilometers from the coast of the city of Kuala Terengganu. The island can be accessed from Merang Jetty in Kuala Terengganu. The boats to Redang Island are operated by the resorts there. Redang Island has its own airport too. For those who wish to save time, you can skip the long and tiresome journey and book flights from Kuala Lumpur to Redang Island. There are several accommodations to choose from at Redang Island. You can choose to stay at 5-star luxurious resorts or stay in the tent at a campsite. The price ranging from RM200 to RM400 depends on the travel package that you choose. Even though the package is quite expensive, it comes with attractive deals. Some package offers scuba diving and snorkeling activities. You can also go for nature walks or jungle trekking, enjoying the nature. Redang Marine Center is also a must-visit as it is the best place to see marine life. Other than that, you can just relax by the beach enjoying local delicacies and watch the sunset. In my opinion, Redang Island is a beautiful part of the world. I highly recommend it if you love stunning holidays with lots of natural attractions where it is simple to keep things easy and inactive or you can choose to be adventurous. 12
PART 2: MODEL QUESTION 5 (Theme: Health & Environment) Your class has been involved in “Save the Earth Campaign” held by Environmental Club in your school. Your English language teacher has asked you to write an essay about how to practice 3R (Recycle, Reuse and Reduce) in our daily lives. Your essay must be written in 125 -150 words. Write the essay using all the notes and give your opinions on 3R initiative. HOW TO PRACTICE 3R • Recycle recyclable items – gather systematically - saves natural sources • Reduce waste – bring own plastic/bottle/container – avoid using disposables • Reuse items – donate items – reuse items more than once The 3R (reduce, reuse and recycle) is an initiative to help cut down on the amount of waste we throw away. This waste hierarchy is the guidance suggested for creating a sustainable life. It calls for an increase in the ratio of recyclable materials, further reusing raw materials and manufacturing wastes, and overall reduction in resources and energy used. A small change in our daily routine can actually help conserve our environment. First, we can start by recycling recyclable items. For example, papers, aluminum, plastic and glass are commonly used in schools, houses and offices. These recyclables need to be gathered systematically and separated from the rest of the trash to be sent to the recycling center. The second step is to reduce waste. A lot of our waste comes from items that are considered to be “disposable”. We have to avoid using disposable items such as paper cup, napkins, spoons and plates. We can bring our own plastic bag, water bottles, cutlery and food container in place of disposables. Lastly, we can start practicing 3R by reusing items. Instead of throwing unwanted items, you can start by donating them to a worthy cause. You can also reuse items for the same purpose or reuse products in different ways. For example, you can repair broken furniture instead of buying new ones or reuse old jars or pots as flowerpots. I believe 3R initiative helps to lessen the amount of waste going into landfills. We can contribute towards a greener lifestyle and community by changing the way we handle waste daily. This will help to create cleaner, safer means of waste disposal while reducing the impact on the environment and all habitats. 13
PART 3: MODEL QUESTION 1 Your teacher has asked you to write a story for a school magazine. The story must have the title: Kindness Your story should include: • background information about the characters • how kindness is shown Write your story in 200- 250 words in an appropriate style. Kindness By Aminah Ahmad My name is Syafiq. I am a clerk. I have a neighbour named Puan Ramlah. Now, I would like to tell a story about me and and Puan Ramlah that had taken place 10 years ago. My neighbour is a very kind person. She lives alone. She likes to help other people. Everybody likes her. She is a retired English teacher. When I was 17 years old, I became a bad person. I took drugs and I stole other people’s things. I was a thief. All I knew was stealing. I stole money. I stole motorcycles and even chickens. One day, I was caught stealing a motorcycle. But, I was lucky because my neighbour Puan Ramlah helped to settle my problem. She asked the police to let me free and she would take care of me. She promised the police that she would make sure I behaved. If I was caught again, then the police could arrest me. The police agreed. I thanked my neighbour and promised to change my life. Starting from that day, I became a better person. I went to school to finish my studies. After school, I would help Puan Ramlah with her house chores because she was not well and old. I cleaned her house. I cooked for her and did/bought her groceries. I also cleaned her room. Since she was a teacher, she taught me English and other subjects. I took my SPM examination and I passed. Then, I became a clerk in Seremban. I would never steal again. I wanted to help teenagers like me. All these happened because of her – my best friend, my good neighbour. Now, I am a volunteer at Seremban Youth centre. I help teenagers to go through life. I do not want them to be criminals. I learnt a lot about myself by helping Puan Ramlah. 16
PART 3: MODEL QUESTION 2 Your teacher has asked you to write an essay for a school magazine. The story must begin with the following words: His hands trembled as he placed the receiver. Your story must include: • a description of the incident • how the incident affected the character/ characters Write your story. The Terrible Truth By Abraham Wong His hands trembled as he placed the receiver. He could not believe what he had just heard. This could not be true. His wife, Susan, had been hospitalised and he could not be by her side. He was attending a seminar in Scotland when he got word that Susan was involved in an accident. His family beseeched him home. Home. Jason knew that he should be heading home. Susan would need him to be there. There was nothing he wanted more than to be with Susan, comforting her, nursing her and most of all ensuring the well-being of their unborn child. It hurt him not being there. All that was left to do at that moment was to fervently hope that both mother and child were not in a critical condition. He hastened and caught the next flight home. When he reached the airport terminal, his heart was beating very fast. He felt so nervous. He received a message from his sister-in-law that his wife was in coma. There obviously were some difficulties related to his unborn child forming bleak possibilities that Jason did not dare to put in too much hope. He jumped into a taxi urging the driver to drive as fast as he could. Alas they were caught in a traffic jam. Undaunted Jason urged the driver to hasten as he needed to be with Susan. She needed him. The taxi went fast in and out of traffic, zigzagging on the busy road. Suddenly a big lorry loomed into their path from the opposite direction. The taxi driver was going too fast that he failed to avoid collision. Everything happened at high speed. There was nothing much that could be done. Jason was sent to the hospital by passers-by. He was critically injured and there was no way to inform his relatives and family members. They tried to reach him not knowing of his predicament and to no avail. By this time Susan had regained consciousness. Though she was relieved to still be alive somehow she could not shake the feeling that something was amiss. Susan could not really patch the pieces. However doctors had to perform a C-section in order to save both Susan and her baby. She could not help smiling looking at the bundle of joy and yet that tugging uneasiness was still there cowering at the far corner of her heart. Her thoughts were definitely of Jason. 17
Just then her sister, Susie, came into the room. Susan lit up at the sight of her sister though it was quite the opposite on Susie. “Where’s Jason? I can’t wait to show him our boy. He has Jason’s eyes and my smile. I’m sure he would be glad to see our son.” Susan enthusiastically blurted to Susie. She however stopped when she realised the joy was only on her part. Susie was downcast and when she did look up tears could be seen welling up in her eyes. Susan was dumbfounded when Susie broke the news. Everything seemed bleak now that she knew Jason would no longer be there for her. She felt guilty knowing she was the reason he had rushed to his death. Tears just could not stop flowing but she had to embrace herself. She had to think of their son. He might not have a father but he would not be deprived of the love Jason had had for his son. She would do the loving for both of them. She would ensure that he grows up knowing love has no boundaries and it exudes Death. 18
PART 3: MODEL QUESTION 3 Your teacher has asked you to write a story. The story must have the title: A Dishonest Boy Your story must include: • a description of the boy • the outcome of the dishonest act Write your story. A Dishonest Boy By S. Vagesh The night was dark and humid. Murphy tossed and turned in his bed, squirming uncomfortably. He remembered vividly Regina cynical expression when she finally had to return the silk gown that he promised to buy her, after the cashier told him that his credit card had reached its limit. Murphy jumped off his bed. He crinkled his bushy eyebrows and started to think on how to win back Regina. Being jobless, Murphy knew there was no way that he could have dated her, but the fact that he was the son of the former mayor had given him the chance Murphy tilted his head. It is then that the idea came to him. He smiled handsomely to the sight of his framed business administration diploma, which he acquired a little time ago. However, he did not bother to find a job with it, since his late father had left him and his mother with a lot of money and a lot of other properties. Murphy now knew exactly what to do, and his eyes was glimmering with hope. Only then he was able to sleep soundly. The next morning, while having breakfast with his mother, Murphy told her his made up story. There was excitement in his eyes as he spin a yarn, telling his mother his ‘plan’ to start a business. In order to start his business, he needed a hefty amount of money. At first, his mother did not believe him. But after he sweet talked her, she finally gave away. After all, Murphy was the only son of her, so she thought of giving him a chance. Murphy was so convincing that she thought he had turned over a new leaf and gave him the 10 thousand pound he asked for. His mother agreed to transact the money that afternoon. Murphy’s heart jumped with glee seeing his plan started to work. He immediately called Regina, asking her out for dinner, promising that this time she would be getting the specially designed silk gown. Regina agreed. Things were going smooth for Murphy. Little that he knew his plans were about to be shattered into pieces. It was 7 o’clock in the evening. Murphy checked his style from head to toe. He was looking dashing and cool, all ready to date Regina. He slid into his late father’s car, telling his mother he needed to settle several things before starting his business. It was a lie, of course. Murphy’s first stop was the bank. He needed to draw some money so that he would be able to buy Regina the silk gown. He smiled by himself as he walked back to his car, 10 thousand pound richer. Out of nowhere, two men attacked him. Realizing his predicament, Murphy tried to put up a fight, but was beaten black and blue, before the two men fled away with his money. 19
Murphy mustered all of his strength and made way into his car. In there, he thought of his next action. He finally found himself driving to Regina’s place. Upon reaching, he was told by Regina’s housemate that she had gone out with another man just 10 minutes ago, after Murphy had failed to show up. Murphy’s heart sank. All of his lies to his mother had taken toll on him. He was robbed, and Regina had dumped him. Murphy learnt his lessons the hard way. He now realized that honesty is the best policy. 20
PART 3: MODEL QUESTION 4 Your teacher has asked you to write a story for a school magazine. The story must have the title: A Dream Comes True Your story should include: • a description of the dream • how the dream is achieved Write your story in 200- 250 words in an appropriate style. A Dream Comes True By Susanna Lee “Not so fast Lewis!” My immature ten-year-old voice yelled out at the fast disappearing figure before me. I knew the additional two wheels of my glittering silver-tinted bicycle had given me a disadvantage rather the advantage I thought I would have. I pedalled with all the force my undeveloped leg muscles could generate, but it only proved to be futile. I could not win this race. I had never beaten my brother, Lewis, in any bicycle race after that. He always seemed to be one step ahead of me, no matter how hard I tried. Lewis was a caring and understanding brother, but equally so was he competitive and determined. He was my role model and the person I respected most, but he was also my main rival. Our parents too supported our healthy competition. Races with Lewis were never short of passion and excitement, and soon I found myself getting more into cycling, determined to beat Lewis at our favourite sport. The years had gradually passed, and the both of us had found a new love, motorcycle racing. We had worked hard to make our mark in the sport, and both of us had succeeded thus far, winning respective races in different parts of the world. Yet, he had won many more titles than me. I could never surpass him, it seemed. Our rivalry was a race and it had become my dream to defeat him in one. Now, it was time for us to compete once more. Both of us had entered the widely- acclaimed “Moto GP” competition, and a showdown would be inevitable. We had not raced together for many years, leaving this race down to the tremendous amounts of hard work we had put in. The press had written countless articles about our coming race, and it was finally time for the big clash. I turned my head towards him, and I could see his eyes through the visors of our helmets. Eyes filled with a colourful mixture of nostalgia, happiness and determination. Then, the horn blared. We raced, neck to neck from the start. It stayed that way for the next seventeen laps, before the final lap. He sped in front of me, stretching his engine to the limit. It would be extremely difficult to attempt to rival his pace, and I tried my very best to reduce the gap as much as I could. As I saw him riding in front of me, I was gripped by a sense of déjà vu. “Not so fast Lewis!” I mouthed, for the sake of reliving our very first race. Only this time, I would not let history repeat itself. I flicked my wrist back, accelerating my vehicle. I 21
concentrated on the figure in front of me. I could feel the effect of pushing my engine to its limits. My gloved hands were feeling the heat from the overheating engine. We approached the last hundred metres. I was only half a motorcycle’s length behind him. With a final flick, we crossed the finish line. We looked up at the giant screen. A camera replay was being shown. It was too close to call a winner. “And the winner is Will!” the commentator boomed through the sound system. I felt immense relief and a massive sense of achievement. I had finally done it. I had won the cup. I had won a race against my brother. I had won the race to surpass my brother. It was truly a dream came true! 22
PART 3: MODEL QUESTION 5 Your teacher has asked you to write a story for a school magazine. The story must have the title: An Unforgettable Moment in My Life Your story should include: • a description of the moment • why is the moment unforgettable Write your story in 200- 250 words in an appropriate style. An Unforgettable Experience in My life By Suriyati Samad The alarm clock rang at 6.00a.m. but it was meaningless for I had not slept a wink all night for fear of what I would be facing that day. The sudden burst of sunlight which cast shadows on the ground saw me dragging myself unwillingly out of bed. Having showered and breakfasted, I head out the front door which I made sure to lock before I left. The thought that I would be receiving my SPM results alone was anything but comforting. The walk to school that morning was the longest one I had ever endured. The sight of the school building made my heart pounded more wildly. I quickly made my way to the school hall, scanned the crowd for my friends, and hurriedly made my way towards them. Looking around the hall, I saw my peers, each dealing with their nerves in their own way. There were those who rocked back and forth on their chairs and there were those who sat, chewing on their fingernails. A sudden slamming of the door startled me and brought all our attention to the rear of the hall where we saw our headmaster, with a thick stack of envelopes in his right hand. The silence that enveloped us was so dense that I could have drowned in it. When he brought the microphone to his lips, I shut my eyes and held my breath, hoping, praying for the best. What I heard were the most beautiful words in my life. I had passed with flying colours! The world became temporarily mute to me as fireworks of joy and celebration went off in my head. I was ecstatic. The wave of happiness and relief that washed over me was as comforting and as satisfying as a hot bath on a cold day. I was in a proper state as I made my way home. My dancing, singing and skipping attracted curious, amused and even sympathetic stares from pedestrians, but I did not care. I could not wait to get home so that I could ring up my mother and break the great news to her. Her reaction would be the greatest gift of all. Unable to contain my excitement any longer, I broke into a run. As soon as I reached home, I hastily opened the front door and was greeted by my mother. I was so surprised to see her. She hugged me tightly and told me that on her way home that morning, my class teacher Madam Habsah had called and told her about my excellent result. I looked at her and she had tears in her eyes. She then smiled at me and told me that she’s very proud of me. To be able to hear those words from her had really made those busy 23
days and my sleepless nights worth it. That moment had become an unforgettable moment for me as I realised that I had made my mother truly happy. 24
PART 3: MODEL QUESTION 1 You see this notice on the board outside the school office. Articles wanted! Famous Tourist Attraction in Malaysia • Where is it situated? • What attracts visitors to the place? • What is your impression of the place? Write us an article answering these questions. The articles will be displayed in the school magazine. Write your article. Unique Kota Tinggi Written by: Amisah Nordin If you are tired of the hustle and bustle of the city, well, you do not need to go far. Only a 40-minute drive from busy Johor Bahru, the weekend is always a good time for a trip to Kota Tinggi. This peaceful town is one of many popular tourist destinations in Malaysia. Kota Tinggi is a small town in Johor, situated on the road to Mersing. It is known as a historical town, where the Sultanate of Johor was established. There are many historical tombs of historical figures here, such as Sultan Mahmud II who died in 1699. If one is more of an outdoor person, one may go to Kota Tinggi Waterfalls at Lombong, which is located at the base of Muntahak mountain. The waterfall area is a great place to have picnics. However, gets crowded on weekends. The beautiful water cascading down and the view of the Muntahak mountain at a distance prove to be an attraction for outdoor and photography enthusiasts. To get to the waterfall, one needs to walk for about a half-an-hour. There are many food stalls in the area and barbeque pits are also available for those who want to barbeque. When I first went there, I found the area unbelievably beautiful. The picturesque scenery at the waterfalls is certainly the perfect spot for a quick getaway. There are adequate facilities there. However, the natural beauty of some parts was adulterated by concrete development and artificial landscaping. In conclusion, Kota Tinggi is a famous and highly recommended tourist attraction, bringing in both locals and foreign tourists alike. 27
PART 3: MODEL QUESTION 2 You see this notice on the board outside the school office. Articles required for Lifestyle Section! Leisure Activities • What can you do to spend your leisure time? • What are the benefits of performing each activity? • Which leisure activity appeals most to you? Write us an article answering these questions. The best article will be displayed in the school magazine. Write your article. Leisure Activities Written by: Natalie Wong Leisure time is a time set aside for relaxation, where we can get away from studying or doing chores at home. While this is a fun time, teenagers should spend their leisure time wisely instead of involving themselves in dangerous pursuits such as illegal racing, loitering outside shopping malls, or taking drugs, to name a few. Reading books during leisure time is one activity which highly beneficial. Examples of books to read are such as science fiction, horror, mystery, romance, and magazine. Choose a reading material which you are interested in. Reading relaxes the mind, helps improve grammar and vocabulary, as well as keeps one up-to-date with current issues. One can download e-books from the internet which is very convenient. One can also join a reading club to share about the books one read and make new friends. Other than that, one may engage in physical activities in their free time. For example, jogging, brisk walking, and swimming. Taking part in physical activities can help control weight and prevent illnesses, improves one’s mood to make one feel happy, as well as to relieve stress. If one is adventurous and fit enough, one may take part in extreme sports such as bungee jumping, mountain climbing, or rock climbing. Besides that, one may also do charity work in one’s free time. Going to orphanages or old folks’ homes to help them there brings about a two-fold benefit, that is it benefits the receivers as well as the giver. The receivers will feel happy that they are being cared by the society, whereas the giver will benefit by learning to be grateful. Other than homes, one can also help in soup kitchens which distribute food to the homeless and less-fortunate. In conclusion, leisure time need to be spent correctly to not waste precious time. In my case, I enjoy reading during my leisure time as I love to imagine things as I read. 28
PART 3: MODEL QUESTION 3 You see this notice on the board outside the school hall. Write your article. Articles required! Keeping Our Homes Safe • What measure can be taken to keep our homes safe? • When neighbours can help you? • How will a security system help to secure a home? Write us an article answering these questions. The best article will be displayed in the school magazine. Keeping Our Homes Safe Written by: Nardash Dani Lately there have been an increase in burglaries around residential areas in Malaysia. Certain measures need to be taken to reduce or prevent such incidents from taking place. First, never open the door to strangers. Keep gates and doors always locked. When a visitor arrives, identify them through a door viewer or through the CCTV before opening the door to them. If it is only for a quick visit, ensure that the metal gate is secured so that no one can enter and burglarise the house. At night, ensure that lights are switched on so that activities outside the house can be seen clearly. Second, neighbours come in handy when it comes to keeping watch for us when we are away from home. When we are away for a long period of time, it is important to ask their help to keep an eye on things. Other than that, they can also help to water the plants, take in the mail, as well as to draw the curtain to make the house look occupied. They can also help to contact the police should they see any suspicious characters around the house. Third, invest in a security system. Such an investment can keep our house safe even if it may cost a lot. We should buy it from a reputable security company as the system needs to be installed professionally to ensure that it works properly and effectively. With the use of the CCTV, one will have a peace of mind knowing that the house is constantly being watched and will be able to see suspicious characters around the house. In conclusion, the house is our very own investment. It is important find ways to keep our home safe from burglary. 29
PART 3: MODEL QUESTION 4 You recently saw this notice in a travel blog. Write your article. Articles wanted! Why Every Child Should Experience Farming • What is the natural beauty children can experience? • What can children learn on a farm? • How can their experience affect future perceptions of their career? Write us an article answering these questions. The best article will be published in this blog What A Farm Can Teach A Child Written by: Yong Yi Farms can teach a child many invaluable lessons and values. It offers much, especially with the natural curiosity and wonder that a child has. The beauty of the farms around our country is legendary. There are the rolling hills of green grass, or the array of wildflowers displayed in all their glory. The meandering streams where cattle roam, and the delightful sounds of farm animals, all testaments to the rich life on a farm. Farms need to be more than an extract idea. A visit to the farm offers children hands-on experience. The farm provides children with hands-on experience of life, food production, and sustainable environmental practices. For instance, children benefit in life when they know where their food is coming from, how it is raised, and the amazing process of bringing food from the farm to their plate. Spending a day or a week on a farm will teach the children to have a greater appreciation for their food. Children who grow their own food are more likely to waste less and eat a greater variety of food. Besides, children can touch, smell, and taste the things they are learning about. The lessons from a farm field trip can run the gamut from alternative energy to vegetables, paddy fields, cows, chickens, and much more. The child will learn about farm practices, daily chores, animals, plants, the farm lifestyle, farm products, and agricultural economics. The classroom comes to life on the farm as they learn about history, math, science, art, music, and health topics relevant to their classroom curriculum. Children will learn about the people that run a farm and how much sacrifice and energy they put into producing food, milk, and meat for people. Children always think about wanting to be doctors and lawyers, but not often want to be farmers. Visits to the farm may change their minds. The experience on a farm is invaluable to the children’s educational growth and the future of farming as a profession. 30
PART 3: MODEL QUESTION 5 You see this notice on the noticeboard outside the school library. Articles wanted! Cyberbullying • What are the forms of cyberbullying? • Why should cyberbullying be stopped? • How can we deal with the problem? Write us an article answering these questions. The best article will be published on the school Youth Club magazine Write your article. Cyberbullying: What Is It and How to Stop It Written by: Josh Carrot Cyberbullying is the act of using technology, such as text messages, emails, and social networking sites with the intent of hurting a person or a group. There are various types of cyberbullying. It includes sending or posting rude and hurtful comments, spreading lies and rumours about someone, sharing someone’s secret or embarrassing photo online, sending threatening emails or text messages. Cyberbullying should be stopped because it is a severe form of psychological abuse. It can cause both short-term and long-term damage to the victims. Victims of cyberbullying can suffer from a range of issues, including low self-esteem, depression, fear, anger, frustrations, and feeling ashamed of oneself. In addition, a bullied student will often avoid school, have lower grades, poor concentration, and become socially isolated. There have been numerous reports which show that cyberbullying has led to suicide in teens and children. In certain cases, students who struggle with depression, anxiety, and loneliness, will continue to live in this condition when they become adults. There are many ways to prevent cyberbullying. Firstly, you should stop talking to the person who is cyberbullying you. Secondly, block emails or messages from the bully. Do not respond to them. Thirdly, tell someone whom you trust like your parents, teachers, or friends about the matter. Finally, save the messages or emails that you receive from the cyberbully and keep the screenshots of any comments or images that have been posted online as all this can be used as evidence. 31
PART 3: MODEL QUESTION 1 As Secretary of the English Language Society, you are required to write a report on an English Camp held in school during the school holidays. Your report should include: • The activities held during the English Camp • What members learned from te camp Write your report. English Camp 2021 During the last school holidays, the English Language Society had organised an English Camp at the school hall on the 4 to 5 December 2021from 8am to 5pm. Thirty members of the English Language Society participated in this English Camp under the supervision of two teachers. All the members of the English Language Society gathered in the school hall at 8am on Saturday. The teacher-in-charge gave a brief speech. Then, the committee members divided the participants into groups and conducted language games such as Charade, Guess the Word, Taboo Words and Letter Scramble. After lunch, there was a Treasure Hunt where members need to solve riddles to look for clues. On Sunday, participants were assigned to their new groups and each group worked together to produce a short drama script. After that, the members practised and performed their drama on stage with imaginary props. After lunch, we watched a movie and had a discussion on topics based on the movie. Before we went home, each member was given the opportunity to present a two-minutes speech on their feelings and opinions regarding the English Camp. Throughout the two days, members have improved their vocabulary by learning a lot of new words. They had a lot of practice on their speaking skills too and were more confident in speaking English with their friends. The English Camp has enabled them to learn language the fun way. The camp was a huge success and it is hoped that similar camps would be organised in the future. It would benefit the members greatly. Reported by, Xin Er (YONG XIN ER) Secretary, English Language Society 34
PART 3: MODEL QUESTION 2 You are the Head Prefect of your school. You have been asked to write a report to the principal on the students’ complaints about the canteen. Your report should include: • Reasons for these complaints • Your recommendations on how to solve the problem. Write your report. Complaints about the canteen The students of this school are very unhappy with the food sold in the canteen and the rude behaviour of the canteen operators. Thus, the students have stopped buying food from the canteen. Firstly, there are no variety of food sold and the staple food here is curry noodles. The students have found the curry to be cold and the noodles were not blanched in hot water. Secondly, the food preparation is unhygienic. In fact, a student found a cockroach in the soup! When the student demanded for another bowl, the canteen operator hurled foul words at the student. Luckily, some teachers controlled the situation. Thirdly, the canteen operators are rude and shout at the students. They even short-change the students and said that they were lying. Thus, the students have decided to boycott the canteen and bring food from home. As the situation has accelerated, I would recommend that the canteen operator should be changed so that we have a new canteen operator. The students will not buy food from the current operator. I would also suggest that we have a group of teachers to oversee the preparation of food to ensure its hygiene and of high quality. Teachers should be around to ensure that the operators do not short-change the students. It is hoped that you would consider these complaints seriously and prompt actions should be taken. Reported by, Marina Muhammad (MARINAMUHAMMAD) Head Prefect, SMK Tun Teja 35
PART 3: MODEL QUESTION 3 A quarrel had occurred in the library. As a prefect, you have been asked by the school principal to write a report on the incident. Your report should include: • How the quarrel started • The action taken by the discipline teacher Write your report. A Quarrel in the School Library On 16 October 2021, a quarrel between two students happened at the library. On that day, it was quiet as usual. The librarians were arranging books on the shelves while a group of students were reading at the tables. There was a queue of four students at the counter waiting for their turns to borrow books. A librarian was attending to them patiently. Suddenly, two boys from Form 4 Bestari started shouting at each other. They were Shankar Kumar and Kenny Chua. They were in the queue too. One of the boys accused the other of cutting the queue. They began to shout angrily at each other. However, the accused insisted that he did not cut the queue. The heated argument between the two soon escalated and they started shoving at each other. I was walking along the corridor when I heard the commotion. I ran into the library and tried to stop them. Meanwhile, the librarian, Zakiah binti Bakri, ran to call the disciplinary teacher, Mr Thirusamy who came in and intervened. He noted the boys’ names and the class they came from. Mr Thirusamy instructed me to accompany the boys back to his room as he wanted to interrogate them. Before leaving, Mr Thirusamy asked the other students if they had seen what caused the quarrel. The students told him what had happened and he instructed the librarians to monitor the queue carefully next time. Reported by, Hon Yong (LOK HON YONG) Prefect SMK Seri Serdang 36
PART 3: MODEL QUESTION 4 Getting to school on time is very important but many students in your school often arrive late. The Principal has asked you to carry out a survey to find out why they arrive late. Based on your findings, write a report to the Principal. Your report should include: • Details of the survey • Reasons given by students • Ways to solve the problem Report on the Findings of a Survey Getting to school on time is very important but many students in our school often arrive late. To curb this problem, the Prefectorial Board of SMK Bandar Tun Hussein Onn had carried out a survey to find out why students arrive late to school. Arriving school on time is important so that students will not miss any updates given by the teacher on duty in the morning assembly. The survey was carried out on 7th May 2017. A total of 100 students were involved in the survey. Based on the outcome of the survey, majority of the correspondents cited waking up time as the main cause for students to arrive late to school. Many students stay up late at night doing revision or playing online games, thus, unable to wake up on time. Some students highlighted the issue of transport to school. Many of our students depend on school buses to come to school. The school buses are often late as the drivers have to go to many routes to pick students from different schools as well as to drop them all at their respective schools. Our school is usually their last stop as it is located the farthest from the residential areas. Another reason given by the respondents is the distance from their homes to the school. As their houses are miles away from the school, they have to face the heavy traffic jam every morning before reaching school. Besides, some of the students gave reasons that the parents need to go to send their younger siblings to the primary school first before heading to our school. To overcome this problem from further affecting our school’s image, the school can conduct an awareness campaign among students to bring in awareness on the importance of being on time. At the same time, the school should hold a discussion with the parents of the students who are often late. This can be alarming to the students too when parents meet their teachers. On the other hand, students themselves can take measures to manage this issue. Students should use alarm clocks to set their waking up time. Besides, they can ask their parents to wake them up every morning so that they can reach school on time. To summarise, the issue of students arriving late to school can be reduced gradually if both the school and students work hand in hand. The cooperation of parents, teachers and the students is crucial to ensure the success of our goal. 37
Reported by, Tharshadevi (THARSHADEVI) Head Prefect, SMK Bandar Tun Hussein Onn 38
PART 3: MODEL QUESTION 5 During the last school holidays, your school hosted a week-long visit for international students. As one of the students involved in organizing the visit, you have been asked to write a report to the Teacher Advisor. In your report, include the following: • Reasons for the visit • Activities during the visit • Opinions from international students International Students Visit During last school holidays, our school hosted a week-long visit for the international students from 12th to 18th December 2020. 30 students from various parts of the world participated in the visit. They were from Japan, China, India, England, Australia and Scotland. Their age group was between 16 to 17 years old. The main reason for the visit was good for international relations. It was also aimed to expose our school students to different cultures in the world. The organizing team had arranged three beach-side bungalows to accommodate the international students. A number of activities were carried out during the visit. We had cooking lessons with the participants. A demonstration for making ‘roti canai’, a popular Indian cuisine, took place in which many international students excitedly joined in the trial lessons. Next, we had traditional games session. The foreign students learnt ‘congkak’ and kite-flying. To add excitement to the programme, a traditional dance show was held. The participants were put into groups with our local students to perform various traditional dances in Malaysia like ‘Joget’, ‘Zapin’ and ‘Ngajat’. All the activities were fun and filled with loud laughter. Majority of the international students commented on our beautiful beaches. Throughout the stay, they witnessed the beautiful sunset from their homestay. Many of them also expressed their admiration on our multiracial society living in harmony. The present organizing team would like to recommend a visit to Sabah for the future international visits. It would be a great place to observe the diversity of Malaysia closely. Reported by, Dev (DEV THARM) Secretary, The Arts and Cultural Club 39
PART 3: MODEL QUESTION 1 (Book Review) You see this notice in a community magazine. Reviews required! Have you recently read a good book? With the holidays fast approaching, helpful reviews of books to read are welcome. Let us know what book you are reviewing. Provide a brief synopsis and let us know why you enjoyed the book and who would enjoy reading the book. Briefly explain where you obtained a copy of the book, so future readers know where to get a copy of it. The Holiday Book Review By Jacob Chiang The book I am reviewing is titled ‘The Holiday’ by Justine Haggard. The book is available at the most bookshops. I purchased my copy at The Popular bookstore. It is the perfect plan for the upcoming holidays, where one looks for activities to fill up the time. A good book is worth carving out time for. Three friends from university gather with their families for once-in-a-lifetime holiday. Unfortunately, events lead a crime writer, Lessa, into uncovering her husband’s secret activities. Lessa is not sure who to trust as her marriage and lifelong friendships unravel. Little does she know that the stakes are higher that she has ever imagined. Everyone, it seems, has a secret. The twists are fast and furious towards the end. It is a plot-driven book that will be sure to entertain readers who enjoy domestic thrillers. Lessa narrates most of the book. Her analytical point of view simultaneously helps her search for the truth about her husband and her secrets. She dissects each person’s actions and comments. While she slowly processes her thoughts and observations, the tension builds up a breaking point between the guests. What I enjoyed most about the story, besides the dreamy location, Mauritius, was the author’s ability to keep me guessing. To masterfully convey that ever so slight edge that had me second-guessing everyone. The book is accessible to all ages and has a precise but straightforward language that seamlessly makes the characters and events come alive. The print is easy to read, and even delightful cover keeps reader guessing. I highly recommend readers to pick up this book for the holidays. 42
PART 3: MODEL QUESTION 2 (Place Review) You recently saw this notice in a Time Out magazine. Write your review. Review required! • Have you visited any nice cafés in your state lately? Send us your review. • Say what you enjoyed most about the café. • Would you recommend this café to your mates? Why? The best review will be published in the Time Out magazine (Not Just) Another Cup Café: Good Coffee, Delectable Dishes and Good Vibes By Hunter Hitzrald Those who are new to (Not Just) Another Cup café, welcome. A simple space furnished with dark wooden furniture further accentuated by the soft yellow hues. The cosiness brought by the surrounding enchanting drapery greens and potted plants is a pleasant touch to the café. For most city dwellers looking to sip good coffee, (Not Just) Another Cup café is definitely a must-visit. Joining the bustling Jalan Hang Jebat terrain, (Not Just) Another Cup is a café that is known for not only coffee but a wide variety of brunch fare. Do not forget to order the Iced Espresso Latte as it will undoubtedly make a good post on your Instagram. This café also deserves a shout-out when it comes to the coffee they serve. Did you know that the baristas here have won several awards? (Not Just) Another Cup café’s menu is a reflective of a contemporary Melbourne café with some delicious local influence. The kitchen team always takes no shortcuts, insisting on making everything they possibly can in-house and from scratch. My favourite dish is avocado smash. Homemade guacamole, feta cheese, roasted cherry tomatoes, and two perfectly poached eggs topped on a sourdough toast. A smear of cider beetroot puree completes the dish. The toping is rich and creamy with a burst of tanginess when bite into the cherry tomatoes. The cider beetroot puree provides a mild acidic note to enhance the overall flavours. Besides, I like the Superbowl before I have even tried it. It has got all of my favourite ingredients in one dish: quinoa salad, sweet potato, grilled sweet corn, dehydrated kale, four-angled beans, hummus, pistachio, Greek yoghurt, and basil oil. Superb! The team at (Not Just) Another Cup café is serious about their coffee, and I dare say they are among the best quality cups in the city. The contemporary food menu us indeed flavourful but gently so, allowing both food and beverage shine. Sincere café hoppers should add (Not Just) Another Cup café to their route. This quaint café makes it right, from smoothie bowls to pancakes, sandwiches and pastas. Drop by (Not Just) Another Cup café, enjoy your cup of coffee, and unwind in their beautiful setting. Highly recommended! 43
PART 3: MODEL QUESTION 3 (Product Review) You recently saw this notice in a magazine. Reviews required! Have you heard about any writing app that helps you write more and write better lately? We are really curious about it. Send us your app review. Say what the app is all about. How does it help students and how does it help them write better? The best review will be published in our newsletter . Write your review in 200- 250 words in an appropriate style Start Write App Review By Selvan a/l Rajaratnam A teacher created the Start Write App. It is designed with students in mind and is very easy to navigate, even on smartphone. The layout is clean and bright. The animation is tasteful and helps with student’s engagement. Start Write app consists of hundreds of prompts and images that are appropriate for students of different writing levels. The prompt increase with difficulty as each student progresses, from one writing level to the next. Another exciting feature of the app is that students can create new prompt using their own images and ideas. Individual writing pieces are composed and saved within the app. Students can also share their writing with others using email. The prompts help students think creatively and they can practise responding critically using arguments and details. As they write, the app provides check-in questions to keep students engaged and help them keep track of their progress. For many students, just starting to write is the most challenging part; the more they practise, the better they will become. Start Write app is excellent at getting students to start writing. Furthermore, students can even search for writing prompts and images based on a keyword or category, or they could let the app randomly make the selection for them. The only thing I find lacking is that there is no autocorrect for simple writing errors such as spelling. It would be wonderful to have a sound-recording option for students with disabilities. Currently, the free version is good enough for the average writer. The app developer is releasing a paid version that allows for partner writing and group work, and tracking edits and progress. 44
PART 3: MODEL QUESTION 4 (Movie Review) A local magazine is looking for individuals to send in their movie reviews. Write a review on a movie that you have watched recently. Movie Review • Name of the movie and its synopsis • Analysis of the movie (themes, characters that you like, storyline, moral values etc) • What is your opinion about the movie? Will you recommend this movie? Send your review to us and stand a chance to be featured in our magazine! Hidden Figures Movie Review By Tesvor Ram The movie, Hidden Figures (2016), not only serves as an item of good entertainment, but is also admirable in depicting the scientific changes in the USA in the 1960s, the social life issues of that era, and differences that existed in the country, especially among African- Americans. The movie centers around the lives of three women: Katherine Johnson, who is played by movie star Taraji P. Henson; Mary Jackson, who is played by Janelle Monáe; and finally, Dorothy Vaughan, as the mathematician portrayed by Octavia Spencer. In the movie, these three characters of African-American backgrounds play vital roles in society through their contributions while working at NASA towards the successful launch of a spaceship into orbit. As an informative movie, it shows the condition of African-Americans among the wider USA community and some of the issues they faced. These include gender imbalances, as well as racial discriminations. From a historical perspective, the film shows a depiction of the Jim Crow rule, which created ideologies of segregation where some buildings and facility spaces are separated to ensure that races were kept apart. The impact of such a rule is seen when Mary Jackson in facing opposition due to her taking a course in physics at the graduate-level. There is also a depiction of racial discrimination where there are separate toilets for white people and for colored people. Additionally, the film depicts differences in the social treatment of community members among various ethnic groups. 45
As seen in the movie, at the Langley Campus at NASA, even if African-Americans and white citizens work within the same vicinity, they are segregated. The African-Americans are shown using separate dining facilities and bathrooms. This can be seen when Katherine Johnson is seen running from her office just to visit the washrooms, sometimes even in the rain. The movie, Hidden Figures, also shows the social differences between men and women in American history. There is a sense of prejudice and workplace bias towards women from their fellow men counterparts. One scene from the movie depicts the character, Katherine Johnson, who is skilled in computing and at explaining information to the board, yet sidelined and prevented from being among the men by Paul Stanford, a lead engineer on the project. Rather, she is forced to relinquish her presentation files to men, as opposed to making the presentation herself. However, with changes and acceptance, Katherine is finally allowed to present, especially with the support of Al Harrison. The movie also shows the importance and impact that the three women played in shaping the subsequent events at NASA, and in shaping the whole community. Through power and determination, the women act as motivators for other women, especially African- American women. In the film, Dorothy works with other white women and commanding several computers, however she is bypassed for upcoming promotions within the company for the role of supervisor. Fellow co-workers and her boss also treat Dorothy maliciously. However, with perseverance, she encourages fellow African-American women to take up programming lessons as a way of preparing themselves for the changes in computing. I think the movie does an excellent job in portraying past issues faced by African- Americans, explaining scientific changes in USA, and in creating a vivid picture of the social differences in gender in the 1960s. I highly recommend this movie because there are so many things that we can learn from the dramatic prejudice and issues undertaken by these three women. 46
PART 3: MODEL QUESTION 5 (Game Review) You recently saw this notice in a STAR magazine. Review required! • Choose a favourite game of yours! • Write a review about the game – what is the game about? • How you feel about the game? • What you like and dislike about the game? The best review will be published in the STAR magazine. Shadow of Wars By Gordon Yeam My favourite game of the year is ‘Shadows of War’. ‘Shadows of War’ revolves around sieges. Mordor now comprises five regions: Cirith Ungol, Nurnen, Seregost, Gorgoroth, and one of the Gondorian cities–naming it would be a spoiler, I guess. Four of them are guarded by a stronghold governed by up to six war chiefs, and an overlord. Your goal is basically to conquer all the fortresses, using the whole lot of tools developers grant you with. The siege itself is represented by well-known “capture-and-hold” mechanics: your forces must break through the walls and gain control over several strategic points heavily defended by enemy captains and war chiefs. To do this, you must overcome numerous obstacles: poisoned traps and fire mines; enemy catapults wiping out your grunt orcs; beasts and archers defending the city within the walls; boiling oil or poison flowing on the heads of your troops as they try to climb the walls; and so on. As soon as you capture all the points, you will need to confront the overlord himself–and I must say, it can be a challenging task even for an experienced player. Regarding the game itself, I could just describe it in one word: fantastic. Flexible, versatile, engaging, and adapting to your pace as a player. I could not stop playing it: in about a week after I bought “Shadows of War,” my Steam statistics showed over 60 hours spent in the game. Capturing fortresses, fighting war chiefs, infiltrating strongholds, recruiting orc captains, flying fire-breathing drakes, collecting legendary gear sets–this is just a tiny bit of what you will need to do. I love the game so much because of the several reasons. I liked the online part of the game. Traditional vendetta missions, when you must avenge another player killed by an orc captain, are now complemented with sieges. In this mode, you must attack a fortress in another player’s world. You do not fight players, though–just their orc war chiefs and captains. Still, it is fun, as every user builds his or her own defenses, and the orcs possess different traits. Also, it is a nice way to find and capture (or kill) high-level, legendary orcs, which is awesome. Apart from that, the Nemesis system in the game is capable of creating them on the fly, and I think this is fantastic. The skill tree has become much more diverse. 47
All of your talents fall into several categories: Combat, Predator, Ranged, Wraith, Beasts, and Story. Each skill in each of these categories has two or three alternatives. Overall, it gives Talion incredible flexibility, allowing you to create any playstyle you wish. Like to stealthily infiltrate fortresses during the night and take out enemy captains one by one? Here you go. How about roasting everyone with flames while flying a drake? Mind-controlling archers and ordering them to fire at will? Terrorize your enemies so they flee in horror? You can play “Shadow of War” in whatever way you like. However, there are several aspects of the game that I disliked, though. The first and foremost one is the camera. It is awful. If you are in the middle of combat with multiple grunts and captains surrounding you, and plan to use your deadly execution to hit precisely–forget about it. Better use an area-of-effect ability, because you will never make the camera aim at the enemy you want to hit. Not in a large battle, at least. If you run past a wall you do not plan climbing on, be sure Talion will grab it and start climbing. I am using Steam Gamepad, but I never noticed such problems in other games. The other aspect I would like to rant about is the graphics. My computer runs this game at 60 FPS on ultra settings. Nevertheless, the graphics look blurry. Sometimes textures look like they have not loaded completely. Anti-aliasing does not completely eliminate pixel “ladders”–this can be easily seen when you fly towards your fort and look at it from the distance. This, as well as some bugs (I found myself stuck in textures several times) can somewhat spoil your impression. Overall, “Middle-Earth: Shadow of War” is a game that can catch your attention for a long time. The gameplay is extremely immersive and versatile, and the Nemesis system responsible for player-environment relationships works amazingly. After more than 60 hours of playing the game, I have still got things left to do in Middle-Earth, and gameplay mechanics to explore. I strongly recommend this game to everyone, really. 48
Feb 15, 2023
6 Example Essays on Social Media | Advantages, Effects, and Outlines
Got an essay assignment about the effects of social media we got you covered check out our examples and outlines below.
Social media has become one of our society's most prominent ways of communication and information sharing in a very short time. It has changed how we communicate and has given us a platform to express our views and opinions and connect with others. It keeps us informed about the world around us. Social media platforms such as Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and LinkedIn have brought individuals from all over the world together, breaking down geographical borders and fostering a genuinely global community.
However, social media comes with its difficulties. With the rise of misinformation, cyberbullying, and privacy problems, it's critical to utilize these platforms properly and be aware of the risks. Students in the academic world are frequently assigned essays about the impact of social media on numerous elements of our lives, such as relationships, politics, and culture. These essays necessitate a thorough comprehension of the subject matter, critical thinking, and the ability to synthesize and convey information clearly and succinctly.
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So, whether you're a student looking to better your essay writing skills or want to remain up to date on the latest social media advancements, Jenni.ai is here to help. Jenni.ai is the ideal tool for helping you write your finest essay ever, thanks to its simple design, an extensive database of example essays, and cutting-edge AI technology. So, why delay? Sign up for a free trial of Jenni.ai today and begin exploring the worlds of social networking and essay writing!
Want to learn how to write an argumentative essay? Check out these inspiring examples!
We will provide various examples of social media essays so you may get a feel for the genre.
6 Examples of Social Media Essays
Here are 6 examples of Social Media Essays:
The Impact of Social Media on Relationships and Communication
Introduction:.
The way we share information and build relationships has evolved as a direct result of the prevalence of social media in our daily lives. The influence of social media on interpersonal connections and conversation is a hot topic. Although social media has many positive effects, such as bringing people together regardless of physical proximity and making communication quicker and more accessible, it also has a dark side that can affect interpersonal connections and dialogue.
Positive Effects:
Connecting People Across Distances
One of social media's most significant benefits is its ability to connect individuals across long distances. People can use social media platforms to interact and stay in touch with friends and family far away. People can now maintain intimate relationships with those they care about, even when physically separated.
Improved Communication Speed and Efficiency
Additionally, the proliferation of social media sites has accelerated and simplified communication. Thanks to instant messaging, users can have short, timely conversations rather than lengthy ones via email. Furthermore, social media facilitates group communication, such as with classmates or employees, by providing a unified forum for such activities.
Negative Effects:
Decreased Face-to-Face Communication
The decline in in-person interaction is one of social media's most pernicious consequences on interpersonal connections and dialogue. People's reliance on digital communication over in-person contact has increased along with the popularity of social media. Face-to-face interaction has suffered as a result, which has adverse effects on interpersonal relationships and the development of social skills.
Decreased Emotional Intimacy
Another adverse effect of social media on relationships and communication is decreased emotional intimacy. Digital communication lacks the nonverbal cues and facial expressions critical in building emotional connections with others. This can make it more difficult for people to develop close and meaningful relationships, leading to increased loneliness and isolation.
Increased Conflict and Miscommunication
Finally, social media can also lead to increased conflict and miscommunication. The anonymity and distance provided by digital communication can lead to misunderstandings and hurtful comments that might not have been made face-to-face. Additionally, social media can provide a platform for cyberbullying , which can have severe consequences for the victim's mental health and well-being.
Conclusion:
In conclusion, the impact of social media on relationships and communication is a complex issue with both positive and negative effects. While social media platforms offer many benefits, such as connecting people across distances and enabling faster and more accessible communication, they also have a dark side that can negatively affect relationships and communication. It is up to individuals to use social media responsibly and to prioritize in-person communication in their relationships and interactions with others.
The Role of Social Media in the Spread of Misinformation and Fake News
Social media has revolutionized the way information is shared and disseminated. However, the ease and speed at which data can be spread on social media also make it a powerful tool for spreading misinformation and fake news. Misinformation and fake news can seriously affect public opinion, influence political decisions, and even cause harm to individuals and communities.
The Pervasiveness of Misinformation and Fake News on Social Media
Misinformation and fake news are prevalent on social media platforms, where they can spread quickly and reach a large audience. This is partly due to the way social media algorithms work, which prioritizes content likely to generate engagement, such as sensational or controversial stories. As a result, false information can spread rapidly and be widely shared before it is fact-checked or debunked.
The Influence of Social Media on Public Opinion
Social media can significantly impact public opinion, as people are likelier to believe the information they see shared by their friends and followers. This can lead to a self-reinforcing cycle, where misinformation and fake news are spread and reinforced, even in the face of evidence to the contrary.
The Challenge of Correcting Misinformation and Fake News
Correcting misinformation and fake news on social media can be a challenging task. This is partly due to the speed at which false information can spread and the difficulty of reaching the same audience exposed to the wrong information in the first place. Additionally, some individuals may be resistant to accepting correction, primarily if the incorrect information supports their beliefs or biases.
In conclusion, the function of social media in disseminating misinformation and fake news is complex and urgent. While social media has revolutionized the sharing of information, it has also made it simpler for false information to propagate and be widely believed. Individuals must be accountable for the information they share and consume, and social media firms must take measures to prevent the spread of disinformation and fake news on their platforms.
The Effects of Social Media on Mental Health and Well-Being
Social media has become an integral part of modern life, with billions of people around the world using platforms like Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter to stay connected with others and access information. However, while social media has many benefits, it can also negatively affect mental health and well-being.
Comparison and Low Self-Esteem
One of the key ways that social media can affect mental health is by promoting feelings of comparison and low self-esteem. People often present a curated version of their lives on social media, highlighting their successes and hiding their struggles. This can lead others to compare themselves unfavorably, leading to feelings of inadequacy and low self-esteem.
Cyberbullying and Online Harassment
Another way that social media can negatively impact mental health is through cyberbullying and online harassment. Social media provides a platform for anonymous individuals to harass and abuse others, leading to feelings of anxiety, fear, and depression.
Social Isolation
Despite its name, social media can also contribute to feelings of isolation. At the same time, people may have many online friends but need more meaningful in-person connections and support. This can lead to feelings of loneliness and depression.
Addiction and Overuse
Finally, social media can be addictive, leading to overuse and negatively impacting mental health and well-being. People may spend hours each day scrolling through their feeds, neglecting other important areas of their lives, such as work, family, and self-care.
In sum, social media has positive and negative consequences on one's psychological and emotional well-being. Realizing this, and taking measures like reducing one's social media use, reaching out to loved ones for help, and prioritizing one's well-being, are crucial. In addition, it's vital that social media giants take ownership of their platforms and actively encourage excellent mental health and well-being.
The Use of Social Media in Political Activism and Social Movements
Social media has recently become increasingly crucial in political action and social movements. Platforms such as Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram have given people new ways to express themselves, organize protests, and raise awareness about social and political issues.
Raising Awareness and Mobilizing Action
One of the most important uses of social media in political activity and social movements has been to raise awareness about important issues and mobilize action. Hashtags such as #MeToo and #BlackLivesMatter, for example, have brought attention to sexual harassment and racial injustice, respectively. Similarly, social media has been used to organize protests and other political actions, allowing people to band together and express themselves on a bigger scale.
Connecting with like-minded individuals
A second method in that social media has been utilized in political activity and social movements is to unite like-minded individuals. Through social media, individuals can join online groups, share knowledge and resources, and work with others to accomplish shared objectives. This has been especially significant for geographically scattered individuals or those without access to traditional means of political organizing.
Challenges and Limitations
As a vehicle for political action and social movements, social media has faced many obstacles and restrictions despite its many advantages. For instance, the propagation of misinformation and fake news on social media can impede attempts to disseminate accurate and reliable information. In addition, social media corporations have been condemned for censorship and insufficient protection of user rights.
In conclusion, social media has emerged as a potent instrument for political activism and social movements, giving voice to previously unheard communities and galvanizing support for change. Social media presents many opportunities for communication and collaboration. Still, users and institutions must be conscious of the risks and limitations of these tools to promote their responsible and productive usage.
The Potential Privacy Concerns Raised by Social Media Use and Data Collection Practices
With billions of users each day on sites like Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram, social media has ingrained itself into every aspect of our lives. While these platforms offer a straightforward method to communicate with others and exchange information, they also raise significant concerns over data collecting and privacy. This article will examine the possible privacy issues posed by social media use and data-gathering techniques.
Data Collection and Sharing
The gathering and sharing of personal data are significant privacy issues brought up by social media use. Social networking sites gather user data, including details about their relationships, hobbies, and routines. This information is made available to third-party businesses for various uses, such as marketing and advertising. This can lead to serious concerns about who has access to and uses our personal information.
Lack of Control Over Personal Information
The absence of user control over personal information is a significant privacy issue brought up by social media usage. Social media makes it challenging to limit who has access to and how data is utilized once it has been posted. Sensitive information may end up being extensively disseminated and may be used maliciously as a result.
Personalized Marketing
Social media companies utilize the information they gather about users to target them with adverts relevant to their interests and usage patterns. Although this could be useful, it might also cause consumers to worry about their privacy since they might feel that their personal information is being used without their permission. Furthermore, there are issues with the integrity of the data being used to target users and the possibility of prejudice based on individual traits.
Government Surveillance
Using social media might spark worries about government surveillance. There are significant concerns regarding privacy and free expression when governments in some nations utilize social media platforms to follow and monitor residents.
In conclusion, social media use raises significant concerns regarding data collecting and privacy. While these platforms make it easy to interact with people and exchange information, they also gather a lot of personal information, which raises questions about who may access it and how it will be used. Users should be aware of these privacy issues and take precautions to safeguard their personal information, such as exercising caution when choosing what details to disclose on social media and keeping their information sharing with other firms to a minimum.
The Ethical and Privacy Concerns Surrounding Social Media Use And Data Collection
Our use of social media to communicate with loved ones, acquire information, and even conduct business has become a crucial part of our everyday lives. The extensive use of social media does, however, raise some ethical and privacy issues that must be resolved. The influence of social media use and data collecting on user rights, the accountability of social media businesses, and the need for improved regulation are all topics that will be covered in this article.
Effect on Individual Privacy:
Social networking sites gather tons of personal data from their users, including delicate information like search history, location data, and even health data. Each user's detailed profile may be created with this data and sold to advertising or used for other reasons. Concerns regarding the privacy of personal information might arise because social media businesses can use this data to target users with customized adverts.
Additionally, individuals might need to know how much their personal information is being gathered and exploited. Data breaches or the unauthorized sharing of personal information with other parties may result in instances where sensitive information is exposed. Users should be aware of the privacy rules of social media firms and take precautions to secure their data.
Responsibility of Social Media Companies:
Social media firms should ensure that they responsibly and ethically gather and use user information. This entails establishing strong security measures to safeguard sensitive information and ensuring users are informed of what information is being collected and how it is used.
Many social media businesses, nevertheless, have come under fire for not upholding these obligations. For instance, the Cambridge Analytica incident highlighted how Facebook users' personal information was exploited for political objectives without their knowledge. This demonstrates the necessity of social media corporations being held responsible for their deeds and ensuring that they are safeguarding the security and privacy of their users.
Better Regulation Is Needed
There is a need for tighter regulation in this field, given the effect, social media has on individual privacy as well as the obligations of social media firms. The creation of laws and regulations that ensure social media companies are gathering and using user information ethically and responsibly, as well as making sure users are aware of their rights and have the ability to control the information that is being collected about them, are all part of this.
Additionally, legislation should ensure that social media businesses are held responsible for their behavior, for example, by levying fines for data breaches or the unauthorized use of personal data. This will provide social media businesses with a significant incentive to prioritize their users' privacy and security and ensure they are upholding their obligations.
In conclusion, social media has fundamentally changed how we engage and communicate with one another, but this increased convenience also raises several ethical and privacy issues. Essential concerns that need to be addressed include the effect of social media on individual privacy, the accountability of social media businesses, and the requirement for greater regulation to safeguard user rights. We can make everyone's online experience safer and more secure by looking more closely at these issues.
In conclusion, social media is a complex and multifaceted topic that has recently captured the world's attention. With its ever-growing influence on our lives, it's no surprise that it has become a popular subject for students to explore in their writing. Whether you are writing an argumentative essay on the impact of social media on privacy, a persuasive essay on the role of social media in politics, or a descriptive essay on the changes social media has brought to the way we communicate, there are countless angles to approach this subject.
However, writing a comprehensive and well-researched essay on social media can be daunting. It requires a thorough understanding of the topic and the ability to articulate your ideas clearly and concisely. This is where Jenni.ai comes in. Our AI-powered tool is designed to help students like you save time and energy and focus on what truly matters - your education. With Jenni.ai , you'll have access to a wealth of examples and receive personalized writing suggestions and feedback.
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A Social Media Essay on its Pros and Cons
By Huzaifa Dhapai
Are you looking for advantages and disadvantages of social media essays ? We’ve got you covered! Our social media essay will help shed light on the pros and cons associated with social media and the way it has changed the world. It is a highly debatable topic and thus here’s our view regarding its positive and negative effects on society.
There’s no denying the fact that social media plays a crucial role in shaping a society. If we look around, almost everyone is on FaceBook, Instagram, Snapchat, etc. This wide popularity of social channels comes with a lot of things and this elaborated advantages and disadvantages of social media essay will help you understand the overall perspective more clearly.
Now without any further delay, let’s get started with the advantages and disadvantages of social media essays.
Introduction to Social Media
In this tech-savvy world, it’s almost impossible to think about our day to day life without social media. It has become a part of our regular lives and is a prevalent medium to stay connected, share information and communicate with the help of social media using the internet.
With its super easy to use interface and free of cost service, it is becoming quite popular among the internet users. In short, one can say that social media is a tool that has revolutionized the digital world with its inception.
Social media has grown to be the most influential and important virtual space, where the platform is used not only for social networking but also as a great way to advertise digitally.
You’ll hardly find any business or brands not using social media for marketing. With its growing popularity, social media has not just given businesses a chance to connect with its target audience, but it has also unlocked new employment opportunities for the masses where they can master a platform and help brands to market their business digitally.
What are the popular and widely-used social media platforms?
Let’s take a look at what makes a social media platform popular and widespread. Many analysts believe it has to do with “ active users .” It is a critical factor in determining growth, popularity, and engagement. This graph depicts all the popular social media platforms in the world as of 2024 and their number of users in millions.
![social app review essay social app review essay](https://iide.co/wp-content/uploads/2022/12/Screenshot-2024-05-12-211450-300x201.png)
Source : Statitsta.com
The Top 5 social networking sites and applications, as assessed by Statista, an industry-leading provider of business statistics, are Facebook, YouTube, WhatsApp, Instagram, Facebook Messenger, and Tik Tok. These applications are followed by many others. Facebook , the most popular social network, was the first to cross 1 billion registered accounts and now has over 2.7 billion monthly active members. Facebook (main platform), WhatsApp , Facebook Messenger, and Instagram are the company’s four largest social media platforms, each with over 1 billion monthly active users. With such a growing number of users on social media, let’s now understand what the importance of social media is today.
Importance of Social Media
Social media has become an integral part of everyone’s daily lives. With the internet at your fingertips, social media can be used to communicate with anyone, anywhere, at any time.
Especially since covid-19, when everyone was locked in their homes, and unable to get in touch with their friends and family, social media served as an important tool to stay updated about each other and stay connected with your loved ones.
Another emerging importance of social media owing to the pandemic is how it gave opportunities to people to make fun videos and adhere to social media challenges and activities which helped keep people entertained in such testing times.
The importance of social media in the rising growth and scope of digital marketing has also been phenomenal.
It is also a platform where information on a variety of topics is easily accessible. This allows people to learn a lot and stay up to date on news from around the world.
But with every good that comes with something, there’s always a negative side to it. Thus, check out the major advantages and disadvantages of social media in the progressive world of today.
Top 10 Advantages Of Social Media
1. facilitates education.
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In several ways, social media is used as an educational tool. People are able to learn about a lot of topics through the use of social media all from the comfort of their homes.
One classic example would be the Live sessions conducted by Industry experts and speakers on their Instagram and Facebook.
They impart knowledge and educate people on topics outside of their textbooks and curriculum. And these Live sessions can be joined by anyone for free.
Another way to gain knowledge is to join groups on social media that conduct open discussions on various topics and exchange knowledge for free. These are excellent ways to educate yourself .
2. Reduces Communication Barriers
Decades ago, the world relied solely on letters to communicate with people in distant places. Communication was hampered as a result, and relationships suffered greatly.
Now, Social media has enabled us to stay in touch with people both nearby and far away. And, with the rise of social media, distance is no longer an obstacle.
3. Social Impact
NGOs (Non-Governmental Organizations), fundraisers, etc use social media for a variety of noble purposes.
Generally, it is intended to raise awareness and assist people in discovering numerous changes that can help them improve their life.
This helps create a social impact on a large number of people right from your fingertips.
4. Brand Promotions
Businesses big or small can easily promote their brand effectively and efficiently through the use of social media and receive a massive amount of engagement.
Social media has become an excellent place for advertisement, which helps brands to know the needs of their audience well. This benefits businesses of all sizes greatly.
This has led to an increase in the need for social media marketers. The next point will help you understand more in detail.
5. Employment Opportunities
The increased use of social media as a marketing tool has increased the demand for social media marketers.
Companies want experts who can handle social media for them and carry out marketing activities that bring great results.
If you aspire to become one, here’s an Online Social Media Marketing Course led by top industry professionals to get you started
6. Content Creation
![social app review essay social media essay](https://iide.co/wp-content/w3-webp/uploads/2018/06/social-media-essay-content-creation-1024x538.jpgw3.webp)
People who love to create content whether it be video, picture, or audio can use social media to share their content with the world.
This allows people with creative skills to flourish in the online industry and also monetize this skill which brings us to our next point.
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7. Monetization
The rise of social media content creation has resulted in a massive increase in users across multiple platforms.
To entice users to stay and grow, social media firms have used monetization strategies such as adverts, promotions, and more.
Anyone with a love for content creation can use this to promote their brand while also earning money. You can also create content for other brands and charge for the same.
A very popular concept is Influencers today. If you have a large follower base and the ability to truthfully influence them, brands will sponsor you to do so.
8. Community building
These days local communities are using social media heavily to stay connected, support each other, and grow together even after lockdown. Social media has connected people with the same interests and perspectives, which has led to the formation of supportive online communities. For example, people who share the same interest in nature and the environment can form or join a community for the same. This can also lead to crisis management, and it might be useful to provide mutual aid for world problems.
9. Skill development
Due to various social media platforms, online classes have gained lots of popularity during the lockdown itself. What’s interesting is these classes are still being run on social media platforms even after the lockdown is over but also gained. People nowadays are constantly taking classes for various courses to upskill themselves for even better jobs and income opportunities.
10. Mental Health Support
People have recognized the problems that social media causes. Platforms like Reddit and Facebook have a community now, which gives a safe space to people who want to share their experiences or seek advice.
Now, let’s glance at the disadvantages of social media and how it has a negative impact on society.
Top 7 Disadvantages of Social Media
The dangers of social media are massive, and despite the fact that it has numerous benefits, the effects of social media can lead to harmful results sometimes.
1. Lack of Security
As social media has become more accessible to anyone with an internet connection, people have become more vulnerable to hacking.
Many users upload important parts of their lives to social media platforms, communicate with people they don’t know and are uneducated about the do and don’ts of having a social media account.
This leads to hackers taking advantage of such people and ending up costing them valuable information.
2. Leads To Addiction
The ability to interact and contact friends and family at any time and from anywhere, along with a great volume of content, has led to social media addiction . We’ve also covered some points on how to beat social media addiction .
People spend more time on social media, communicating with people all over the world, and consuming content, and as a result, they get disconnected from their surroundings.
3. Unrealistic Expectations
What we see on social media is the ‘ideal’ part of a person’s life, and not their insecurities and problems.
When we forget this, we start to compare the negative parts of our lives with the positive parts of the lives of our peers that we see online. In the long run, this damages our self-esteem.
4. Adverse Influence on Children
Children who are addicted to social media spend hours per day watching videos, photos, and other content posted by the accounts they follow.
Other activities, such as schoolwork, sports, study, and other productive routines, are jeopardized by this addiction. In the end, the influence of social media negatively impacts the well-being of children.
It also affects their socializing skills as they find it more comfortable to talk on the phone rather than face the person.
5. Digital Fatigue
After spending so much time on social media, especially during lockdown, many people are now facing the problem of digital fatigue. The constant screentime and virtual interaction can exhaust a human and make them feel lonely
6. Cyberbullying and online harassment
This issue existed before, but it has increased to a greater level as more and more people are using social media. Whether your work is good or excellent, some people will always be there to criticize your content. But cyberbullying and online harassment cases can get worse.
7. Social comparison and mental health issues
Humans always tend to compare their situations with others, and social media has increased this issue of comparison, which makes people feel inadequate and pressure themselves to meet unrealistic standards. This eventually leads to feelings of anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem .
Role of Social Media in Shaping Society
In the ever-evolving digital world, social media plays a pivotal role in shaping society. Whether we’re scrolling through our feeds or sharing our thoughts, it’s undeniable that social media has a significant impact, both positive and negative, on how we perceive the environment around us.
One of the key advantages of social media is its ability to connect people from all corners of the globe. Through platforms like Facebook, Instagram, and X, we can bridge geographical barriers and interact with individuals we might never have encountered otherwise. This connectivity fosters a sense of global community, where ideas, cultures, and experiences can be shared and celebrated.
Moreover, social media serves as a powerful tool for activism and social change. Movements like #BlackLivesMatter and #MeToo has gained momentum through online platforms, amplifying voices and catalyzing real-world action. Social media empowers individuals to raise awareness about important issues and mobilize others to join their cause, sparking meaningful dialogue and driving societal progress.
Let’s discuss some key points that significantly contributes in the society:
(a) Political Influence: The introduction of social media has changed the way of conducting political campaigns. It has become a primary tool for leaders, politicians, etc to discuss, support or present their thoughts. Social media helps these politicians to disseminate information, engage in politics-related debates, boost their popularity, etc.
(b) Change in Consumer Behavior: Hands down, there’s no denying the fact that social media influences consumer behavior like no other. Image and video sharing platforms like Instagram, Pinterest and Snapchat have helped businesses and marketers immensely in branding, promoting and selling the products. These highly appealing images boost impulsive buying among the users and persuade them to either make a purchase or at least check the product/service once.
© Impact on mental health: With the constant exposure to different forms of content and people, social media highly impacts mental health of individuals. The curated, idealized versions of people and their life lowers the self-esteem of individuals and they start doubting themselves.
Apart from this, cyberbullying, trolling affects mental health in unimaginable ways.
In conclusion, social media offers both benefits and drawbacks, but it all relies on the individual who uses it.
The information provided can be seen as debatable but our article is not a thesis on social media and is just an accumulation of researched information in a simple and precise format.
Bonus Read: The Next Wave Of Social Media
Social media is still in its infancy and will continue to grow rapidly in the future. From the launch of the first social media platform, Myspace, to the most recent and currently popular social media platform, Facebook.
There are currently around 4.3 Billion social media users around the world.
Every platform that has ever been released has features that are unique and engaging. That has always been the primary goal of any social media platform. From Myspace’s “ ranking profile feature ” to Instagram’s ‘ Reels Insights features’ , social media has come a long way.
With the unprecedented growth of digital marketing, social media has grown tremendously too. Almost every digital company now needs a social media team to manage its online presence. Discover how to build a career in social media marketing . Social media has become an important part of a company’s digital marketing strategy. We hope this post has given you a better understanding of the world of social media.
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28 Comments
Social media essays are super important nowadays. They help us understand how platforms like Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram affect our lives. We can explore things like how we communicate, our privacy, and how we behave online
“According to Statista, the top 5 social networking sites and applications are Facebook, YouTube, WhatsApp, Instagram, and Facebook Messenger. It’s interesting to see how these platforms continue to dominate the social media landscape. Which one do you find yourself using the most?”
“Explore the intricate landscape of social media, examining its varied impacts on society, from empowerment to potential challenges.”
Thankyou, for helping and providing such big social media essay .This will help me alot.
The ‘Social Media Essay’ on iide.co provided invaluable insights for my assignment research, illuminating the digital landscape with clarity and depth. 🌐✨
“Love this! Can’t wait for more updates. 😍”
“Interesting perspective, thanks for sharing!”
An insightful overview of social media’s impact. How can individuals best navigate the negatives like unrealistic expectations?
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Should I write a common app essay about my social anxiety?
So basically, this is by far the biggest thing I have worked to overcome in the past few years and I have learned a ton about myself and others in the process. However, writing about it I also feel like I'm just going, "look how hard I worked to do something that most people can do naturally!" Please give it to me straight, would this make me look bad?
Edit: After looking into it more I've decided to not write my application on my anxiety. I think I could still write a good essay, but I this isn't the kind of thing they want. Harsh reality, but I'll take it
Home — Essay Samples — Sociology — Instagram — Why Instagram is The Best Social Media
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Why Instagram is The Best Social Media
- Categories: Instagram Social Media
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Words: 496 |
Updated: 28 November, 2023
Words: 496 | Page: 1 | 3 min read
- Longobardi, C., Settanni, M., Fabris, M. A., & Marengo, D. (2020). Follow or be followed: Exploring the links between Instagram popularity, social media addiction , cyber victimization, and subjective happiness in Italian adolescents. https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0190740919314781 Children and youth services review, 113, 104955.
- Trifiro, B. (2018). Instagram use and its effect on well-being and self-esteem. (https://digitalcommons.bryant.edu/macomm/4/)
- Hwnag, H. S. (2019). Why social comparison on Instagram matters: Its impact on depression. KSII Transactions on Internet and Information Systems (TIIS), 13(3), 1626-1638. (https://koreascience.kr/article/JAKO201914260133566.page)
- Woodley, A. (2018). How does Instagram impact on people's perceptions of their appearance?. Journal of Aesthetic Nursing, 7(2), 94-95. (https://www.magonlinelibrary.com/doi/abs/10.12968/joan.2018.7.2.94)
- Keyte, R., Mullis, L., Egan, H., Hussain, M., Cook, A., & Mantzios, M. (2021). Self-compassion and instagram use is explained by the relation to anxiety, depression, and stress. Journal of technology in behavioral science, 6, 436-441. (https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s41347-020-00186-z)
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Provides a foundational overview, outlining the historical context and introducing key information that will be further explored in the essay, setting the stage for the argument to follow.
Cornerstone of the essay, presenting the central argument that will be elaborated upon and supported with evidence and analysis throughout the rest of the paper.
The topic sentence serves as the main point or focus of a paragraph in an essay, summarizing the key idea that will be discussed in that paragraph.
The body of each paragraph builds an argument in support of the topic sentence, citing information from sources as evidence.
After each piece of evidence is provided, the author should explain HOW and WHY the evidence supports the claim.
Should follow a right side up triangle format, meaning, specifics should be mentioned first such as restating the thesis, and then get more broad about the topic at hand. Lastly, leave the reader with something to think about and ponder once they are done reading.
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- Discuss one of your personal qualities and share a story, anecdote, or memory of how it helped you make a positive impact on a community. This could be your current community or another community you have engaged.
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Students Target Teachers in Group TikTok Attack, Shaking Their School
Seventh and eighth graders in Malvern, Pa., impersonating their teachers posted disparaging, lewd, racist and homophobic videos in the first known mass attack of its kind in the U.S.
![social app review essay With her back to the camera, Patrice Motz faces a tall, solid fence. She and foliage cast shadows on the gray surface.](https://static01.nyt.com/images/2024/07/09/multimedia/TIKTOK-TEACHERS-1-02-fhgc/TIKTOK-TEACHERS-1-02-fhgc-articleLarge.jpg?quality=75&auto=webp&disable=upscale)
By Natasha Singer
Natasha Singer, who covers technology in schools, reported from Malvern, Pa. She welcomes reader tips at nytimes.com/tips .
In February, Patrice Motz, a veteran Spanish teacher at Great Valley Middle School in Malvern, Pa., was warned by another teacher that trouble was brewing.
Some eighth graders at her public school had set up fake TikTok accounts impersonating teachers. Ms. Motz, who had never used TikTok, created an account.
She found a fake profile for @patrice.motz, which had posted a real photo of her at the beach with her husband and their young children. “Do you like to touch kids?” a text in Spanish over the family vacation photo asked. “Answer: Sí.”
In the days that followed, some 20 educators — about one quarter of the school’s faculty — discovered they were victims of fake teacher accounts rife with pedophilia innuendo, racist memes, homophobia and made-up sexual hookups among teachers. Hundreds of students soon viewed, followed or commented on the fraudulent accounts.
In the aftermath, the school district briefly suspended several students, teachers said. The principal during one lunch period chastised the eighth-grade class for its behavior.
The biggest fallout has been for teachers like Ms. Motz, who said she felt “kicked in the stomach” that students would so casually savage teachers’ families. The online harassment has left some teachers worried that social media platforms are helping to stunt the growth of empathy in students. Some teachers are now hesitant to call out pupils who act up in class. Others said it had been challenging to keep teaching.
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MLB All-Star uniforms slammed, fans call for return to individual uniforms: 'Abomination'
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The 2024 MLB All-Star Game is in the books, with the American League earning a 5-3 win over the National League on Tuesday night in Arlington, Texas.
But it's the uniforms for the game, not the play on the field, that have received all the attention.
Social media slammed the American League and National League 2024 All-Star Game uniforms, obviously not impressed with the look for this year's game.
But they didn't just have harsh words for the uniforms, with many on social media calling on Major League Baseball to end MLB All-Star uniforms and return to the players wearing their individual team uniforms for the event.
MLB playoff picture 2024: Division, wild card standings heading into All-Star break
Here's how social media reacted to the 2024 MLB All-Star uniforms:
These All Star uniforms are an abomination, I don’t like the socks, the arm sleeves designs are odd. It’s all just a mess and I know it’s an opinion, but it just looks bad to me. Go back to individual team uniforms. pic.twitter.com/DJm550CAL6 — Stirrups Now! (@uniformcritic) July 17, 2024
I would prefer the players in the All Star game to wear these special uniforms for pre game batting practice & than for the game wear their respective TEAM UNIFORM ! — Dick Vitale (@DickieV) July 17, 2024
These dopey all-star game uniforms remain a complete amateur hour embarrassment. Get the players in their actual uniforms. Old school. Also, gives players identity tonight. Creates buzz. Gives casual fans chance to follow for second half..if they knew what team they played for! — Adam Schein (@AdamSchein) July 16, 2024
I wish they would go back to the allstars wearing their regular team uniforms #ASG — Dontrelle Willis (@DTrainMLB) July 17, 2024
It's well past time for @MLB to return to players wearing their team uniforms for the All-Star Game. pic.twitter.com/wWVwlRXfR7 — FB_Helmet_Guy (@FB_Helmet_Guy) July 17, 2024
These are the worst All-Star uniforms ever. — Matt Miller (@nfldraftscout) July 17, 2024
Can we please go back to players wearing their own uniforms in the #MLBAllStarGame ? Thanks… pic.twitter.com/HCLoiOTlHP — Mark McClune (@MarkMcClune) July 17, 2024
Uniforms change, no better way to see a snapshot in time of them than the ASG. Bring this back @MLB pic.twitter.com/B60On4LXgW — MLB Cathedrals (@MLBcathedrals) July 15, 2024
I’m 100% convinced MLB purposely makes players wear the ugliest All-Star Game uniforms possible to get social media engagement. pic.twitter.com/Dc2GEz7ZJE — Jimmy Traina (@JimmyTraina) July 16, 2024
Why does MLB make players voted in to its All Star Game wear such hideously ugly uniforms. Players ought to wear their own team’s uniforms. Better for them, for fans and for baseball. — Mike Barnicle (@mikebarnicle) July 17, 2024
How can you make the fans of your city proud, when you wear THESE uniforms at the All Star Game? Seriously? — Fred Lynn (@19fredlynn) July 17, 2024
whoever cane up with the idea for these All Star Game uniforms needs to be fired pic.twitter.com/fwSJgGKE2p — 𝐅𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐊𝐈𝐄 (@FrankiesTwoLoud) July 16, 2024
The Nike All-Star uniforms are not a big hit for everyone. Growing up, Bryce Harper said he loved watching All-Stars take the field in their team uniforms. “If we could change back to that,” Harper said, “I think it would be really cool.” — Bill Shaikin (@BillShaikin) July 15, 2024
Please, please, please bring back individual team uniforms for the MLB All-Star Game next year. pic.twitter.com/zj8XSb9B5U — Paul Meadors (@paulmeadors) July 17, 2024
My god, these uniforms. Come on, MLB. This isn't difficult. The All-Star Game should look like this. pic.twitter.com/xRsUDNAGqn — John Tomase (@jtomase) July 17, 2024
Would you like to see MLB return to individual uniforms for the 2025 MLB All-Star Game or should the league continue with All-Star uniforms?
VOTE: Should #MLB go back to having players wear their individual uniforms in #MLBAllStar games? (Social media outcry: https://t.co/wEuXKYzPyr ) — Jeremy Cluff (@Jeremy_Cluff) July 17, 2024
MLB power rankings: Arizona Diamondbacks make move entering 2024 MLB All-Star break
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Minutes after Trump shooting, misinformation started flying. Here are the facts
What began as a jubilant rally for Donald Trump, just days before he becomes the official Republican presidential nominee, ended in mere minutes with the former president bloodied and a suspected would-be assassin shot dead by Secret Service.
Trump 2024 flag is raised outside of Trump Tower, Sunday, July 14, 2024, in New York. (AP Photo/Yuki Iwamura)
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WASHINGTON (AP) — Within minutes of the gunfire, the attempted assassination of former President Donald Trump spawned a vast sea of claims — some outlandish, others contradictory — reflecting the frightening uncertainties of the moment as well as America’s fevered, polarized political climate.
The cloudburst of speculation and conjecture as Americans turned to the internet for news about the shooting is the latest sign of how social media has emerged as a dominant source of information — and misinformation — for many, and a contributor to the distrust and turbulence now driving American politics.
Mentions of Trump on social media soared up to 17 times the average daily amount in the hours after the shooting, according to PeakMetrics, a cyber firm that tracks online narratives. Many of those mentions were expressions of sympathy for Trump or calls for unity . But many others made unfounded, fantastical claims.
“We saw things like ‘The Chinese were behind it,’ or ‘ Antifa was behind it,’ or ‘the Biden administration did it.’ We also saw a claim that the RNC was behind it,’” said Paul Bartel, senior intelligence analyst at PeakMetrics. “Everyone is just speculating. No one really knows what’s going on. They go online to try to figure it out.”
Here’s a look at the claims that surfaced online following the shooting:
Claims of an inside job or false flag are unsubstantiated
Many of the more specious claims that surfaced immediately after the shooting sought to blame Trump or his Democratic opponent, President Joe Biden, for the attack.
Some voices on the left quickly proclaimed the shooting to be a false flag concocted by Trump, while some Trump supporters suggested the Secret Service intentionally failed to protect Trump on the White House’s orders.
The Secret Service on Sunday pushed back on claims circulating on social media that Trump’s campaign had asked for greater security before Saturday’s rally and was told no.
What to know :
- Timeline of events : How the assassination attempt on former President Donald Trump unfolded.
- RNC: The Republican presidential ticket came together when Trump named JD Vance as his running mate. Follow live updates .
- Biden’s response : The president says it was a “mistake” to say he wanted to put a “bull’s-eye” on Trump .
- Key question : Officials are demanding to know how an armed man was able to get to the top of a building and shoot the former president .
- A “man of conviction” : Victim Corey Comperatore, a former fire chief, used his body to shield his family from gunfire.
- Stay informed. Keep your pulse on the news with breaking news email alerts. Sign up here .
“This is absolutely false,” agency spokesman Anthony Guglielmi wrote Sunday on X. “In fact, we added protective resources & technology & capabilities as part of the increased campaign travel tempo.”
Videos of the shooting were quickly dissected in partisan echo chambers and Trump supporters and detractors looked for evidence to support their beliefs. Videos showing Secret Service agents moving audience members away from Trump before the shooting were offered as evidence that it was an inside job. Images of Trump’s defiantly raised fist were used to make the opposite claim — that the whole event was staged by Trump.
“How did the USSS allow him to stop and pose for a photo opp if there was real danger??” wrote one user, using the abbreviation for the U.S. Secret Service.
Social media bots helped amplify the false claims on platforms including Facebook, Instagram, X and TikTok, according to an analysis by the Israeli tech firm Cyabra, which found that a full 45% of the accounts using hashtags like #fakeassassination and #stagedshooting were inauthentic.
An image created using artificial intelligence — depicting a smiling Trump moments after the shooting — was also making the rounds, Cyabra found.
Moments like this are ‘cannon fodder’ for extremists
Conspiracy theories quickly emerged online that misidentified the suspected shooter, blamed other people without evidence and espoused hate speech, including virulent antisemitism.
“Moments like this are cannon fodder for extremists online , because typically they will react with great confidence to whatever has happened without any real evidence” said Jacob Ware, a research fellow at the Council on Foreign Relations. “People will fall into spirals and will advance their own ideologies and their own conclusions.”
Before authorities identified the suspect, photos of two different people circulated widely online falsely identifying them as the shooter.
In all the speculation and conjecture, others were trying to exploit the event financially. On X on Sunday morning, an account named Proud Patriots urged Trump supporters to purchase their assassination-attempt themed merchandise.
“First they jail him, now they try to end him,” reads the ad for the commemorative Trump Assassination Attempt Trading Card. “Stand Strong & Show Your Support!”
Republicans cast blame on Biden
After the shooting, some Republicans blamed Biden for the shooting, arguing sustained criticisms of Trump as a threat to democracy have created a toxic environment. They pointed in particular to a comment Biden made to donors on July 8, saying “it’s time to put Trump in the bullseye.”
Ware said that comment from Biden was “violent rhetoric” that is “raising the stakes,” especially when combined with Biden’s existential words about the election. But he said it was important not to make conclusions about the shooter’s motive until we know more information. Biden’s remarks were part of a broader approach to turn scrutiny on Trump, with no explicit call to violence.
Trump’s own incendiary words have been criticized in the past for encouraging violence. His lies about the 2020 election and his call for supporters to “fight like hell” preceded the Jan. 6, 2021, attack on the Capitol, which led to his second impeachment on charges of incitement of insurrection. Trump also mocked the hammer attack that left 80-year-old Paul Pelosi, the husband of the former House speaker, with a fractured skull.
Surveys find that Americans overwhelmingly reject violence as a way to settle political differences, but overheated rhetoric from candidates and social media can motivate a small minority of people to act, said Sean Westwood, a political scientist who directs the Polarization Research Lab at Dartmouth College.
Westwood said he worries that Saturday’s shooting could spur others to consider violence as a tactic.
“There is a real risk that this spirals,” he said. “Even if someone doesn’t personally support violence, if they think the other side does, and they witness an attempted political assassination, there is a real risk that this could lead to escalation.”
The Associated Press receives support from several private foundations to enhance its explanatory coverage of elections and democracy. See more about AP’s democracy initiative here . The AP is solely responsible for all content.
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As President Joe Biden steps aside, is America ready for President Kamala Harris?
Kamala Harris has been on a yo-yo string with Democratic Party bigwigs since that cataclysmic debate performance catapulted her boss out of a sure 2024 nomination.
Weeks before President Joe Biden stepped aside – and swiftly endorsed Harris to be the 2024 nominee – the vice president had emerged as the most logical replacement to top the ticket after Biden wore his frailty on national TV.
Allies disseminated a logic about why Harris would be the natural successor: She could seamlessly inherit the campaign's massive warchest; her law enforcement background is best suited to prosecute the political case against Republican Donald Trump; polling shows she can win ; and having been the nation's first multiracial and woman VP could galvanize a new generation of younger progressives.
But from the start, there has been a hesitancy to fully embrace the country’s second-in-command, with some Democrats openly overlooking her. When a group of 24 former House Democrats sent Biden a letter last week lobbying for an open convention in August, it made no mention of Harris.
The day after Biden found himself fighting for his future in an interview with ABC News’ George Stephanopoulos, Harris was asked to assure Black women, the party’s backbone , that the U.S. wouldn’t take a step backward in this election on issues they care about, including economic and reproductive freedom. Her message was far from reassuring.
“Here’s the thing about elections,” Harris told a moderator at Essence Festival of Culture in New Orleans on July 6, during a discussion entitled “Chief to Chief.” “The people who make decisions at that level often will pay attention to either who’s writing the checks or who votes. That’s a cold, hard reality.”
Recent history: Kamala Harris on standby as Democrats plunge into panic mode
The 59-year-old Harris may seem the obvious strategic page turn for the party as well as a generational shift. Her life has been an acrobatic twist and turn, filled with personal challenges and accomplishments, including political tests in her home state of California similar to what she and the country face now.
But some wonder whether a country bitterly divided by cultural issues around race, gender and family – already seemingly poised to return Donald Trump to power – is ready for a woman of color to sit in the Oval Office.
“Black women are judged more harshly by the right, by the left – by everyone,” said Aimy Steele, founder and CEO of The New North Carolina Project, which is dedicated to expanding voter engagement and access in the Tar Heel State.
Steele said beyond race and gender, there are other parts of Harris’ life that she believes liberal allies will fail to accept or defend, including that she is a professional woman who went unmarried most of her life and put her career first without having biological children.
“I think we’re kidding ourselves to really believe that we are, even on the progressive side, in a post-racial democracy or a place where these types of things don’t matter,” said Steele, who unsuccessfully ran for the North Carolina legislature in 2020.
Halie Soifer, CEO of the Jewish Democratic Council of America, told USA TODAY that’s “all the more reason to make sure that we stand with her. We need to stand for something.”
“Misogyny, racism and other forms of bigotry are going to exist in this country, and yes, they may even be exacerbated by having a woman of color at the top of the ticket,” said Soifer, who served as a national security adviser to Harris in the Senate.
“But that is absolutely not a reason to cower or to allow the fear of that hate to impede progress in this country, and that’s actually been driving Kamala Harris her whole career.”
Other progressives still bruised by the political backlashes from the Barack Obama years emphasize that they concur: Harris is the face of the country’s future. The U.S. is projected to be majority people of color by 2045.
Trump and other Republicans have long been aware of the possible ticket switch, and have derided Harris as incompetent , socially awkward and responsible for chief failures in the Biden administration. GOP officials suggest that’s only the beginning.
“We’ve not really gone into depths with the record of Kamala Harris,” Rep. Byron Donalds, R-Fla., said in a Fox News Sunday appearance this month.
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At the Republican National Convention last week, former Republican presidential candidate Nikki Haley reminded delegates she had predicted Democrats would look to pass the baton to Harris in the middle of the 2024 contest.
“For more than a year, I said a vote for Joe Biden is a vote for President Kamala Harris,” she said. "After seeing the debate, everyone knows it’s true. If we have four more years of Biden or a single day of Harris, our country will be badly worse off."
Dems not fully sold on Harris either
Harris’ opposition is not only coming from the other side of the aisle, as Democratic skeptics worry about her viability.
A former Harris staffer wrote in The Atlantic this month “an automatic coronation of Harris would be a grave mistake.” She argued for a process to battle-test her against others vs. Trump; and said supporters are too quick to write off viability concerns as “racist and sexist.”
A new AP-NORC Center for Public Affairs Research survey released this past week found 58% of Democrats believe Harris would make a good president. But the poll shows 22% of Democrats don't think she would versus 20% who said they don’t know enough about her.
Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, D-N.Y., warned in a Instagram live Thursday it would be incorrect to think there is a consensus among Democrats that Harris will get the support of people who wanted Biden to leave.
Those individuals, she said, “are interested in removing the whole ticket.”
Other progressives, however, warn that backing away from Harris could be disastrous for the party. Democratic strategist Bakari Sellers summed it up in a post on X: “ Skip over Kamala Harris at your own peril.”
A child of immigrants with a fierce, ‘extraordinary’ mother
Harris was born in Oakland, Calif. in 1964 amid the Civil Rights Movement to immigrant parents – her father Donald Harris, was an economist born in Jamaica and Shyamala Gopalan, was a cancer researcher from India.
In her 2019 memoir, she briefly describes her parents’ marriage falling apart when she was five, leading to divorce. She only saw her father during summers in Palo Alto when he taught at Stanford, and acknowledges she was shaped by her 5’1” mother, whom she calls “extraordinary.”
Her mother took a teaching job at McGill University when Harris was 12, moving her and her sister to Montreal from 1976 until she graduated from high school in 1981.
It was in Canada where Harris first developed an affinity for lawyers who broke barriers such as Thurgood Marshall, Charles Hamilton Houston, Constance Baker Motley – giants of the civil rights movement, she wrote.
Harris returned to the states to attend Howard University where she flourished in the environment where “everyone was young, gifted and Black.” She pledged Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority, Inc., the second founded of the historic “divine nine” Greek-lettered organizations among African Americans. She interned at the Federal Trade Commission; researched at the National Archives and was a tour guide at the U.S. Bureau of Engraving and Printing.
She first entered politics as a staffer for Democratic Sen. Alan Cranston, of California, and then returned home to Oakland to U.C. Hastings College of Law and graduated in 1989.
Harris revealed in her book she took the California bar exam that July and “to my utter devastation, I had failed,” an acknowledged setback for a self-described perfectionist. She passed in February 1990 and began work at the Alameda County District Attorney’s Office.
Her political star began to rise in 1994 with her relationship with Willie Brown, the legendary California politician who at the time was the statehouse speaker, married – although long separated – and 30 years older than Harris.
California entrepreneur Trevor Traina, a longtime Harris friend and former U.S. ambassador to Austria, said that relationship was a politically formative one.
"Kamala’s a warm person who has a lot of charm and charisma. And she is the protégé of Willie Brown, who is the king of charm,” Traina said in an interview with USA TODAY. “And I think she learned well from him.”
Influential San Francisco Chronicle gossip columnist Herb Caen first put her name in print that March as Brown and Harris were spotted around town.
Their romance continued to raise eyebrows that November when Brown named Harris to a state medical board, along with a hefty salary. The affair ended in 1996, but the pair would be linked for decades and the subject of character assaults into the 2020 campaign.
Kristin Powell, principal of Black to the Future Action Fund, a national political advocacy group, said women in politics typically have their dating and sex lives dragged out in public as disqualifiers for higher office.
“The threats against her, in my opinion, will be astronomically higher than the ones against Obama because she’s a woman, not just a Black person, but a Black woman,” she said.
Powell said that same standard isn’t applied to men, noting that for years Trump has been accused of having extra-martial affairs and of sexual assault (which the former president vehemently denies).
By 2000, Harris moved to City Hall and quickly set her eyes on the city’s top prosecutor job, challenging incumbent Terence Hallinan in 2003. An archived radio debate from that election previewed the sharp-elbowed Harris in her first political battle focused on a backlog of 40 homicide cases.
“We are seeing an erosion of the criminal justice system, an absolute neglect of cases and they’re prioritizing politics over professionalism,” Harris said in the testy segment.
Harris’ campaign sent out mailers featuring the ten faces of previous San Francisco DAs stretching back to 1900. All male, all white. “It’s time for a change,” it read in block red letters.
She has continued to underscore the importance of U.S. leadership looking like the increasingly diverse country, including earlier this month at the Essence Festival of Culture, an annual mecca for Black women.
“Let us always celebrate the diversity, the depth and the beauty of our culture,” she said.
If the vice president were to become the first name on a Democratic ticket, political activists such as Powell believe it would be a game-changer in 2024.
“There would be a lot of excitement, not just for her, but when a Black woman gets to the White House, her or someone else, it will be a lot of excitement for women in this country because we deserve to have female leadership,” she said.
Yet, recent polling shows Harris doesn’t necessarily outpace Biden in terms of Black voter enthusiasm, which may indicate she is in a weaker position than some supporters assume.
More: Biden's support among Black women leaders still strong even as others jump ship
Quentin James, founder and president of Collective PAC, which is aimed at building Black political power, said the vice president’s identity is a chief engine of her popularity with racially diverse constituents, but that more sophisticated minority voters have a sharper grading curve.
“I definitely think that representation alone is not enough,” he said. “People are looking for the meat and substance, and not solely the identity.”
Powell concurs that excitement over a non-white, non-male candidate comes second to certain policy commitments, especially among those who’ve lived through the Obama era.
“We would applaud having a Black woman in the White House,” Powell said. “But before we get excited about whether that's Kamala Harris, we need to understand what she’s going to give us.”
Harris was California’s top cop
A decade before being elevated to the vice presidency, Harris demonstrated an uncanny ability to beat the political odds in a political landscape that, much like today’s national terrain, was dominated by aging white men.
Traina said more than any other time period, he believes Harris’ time as San Francisco’s district attorney is an instructive window into her leadership. He said the city is cosmopolitan and international, but also notoriously left-leaning ranging from mainstream Democrats to socialists.
“There's a tension between the center left and the far left, which I think mirrors the national scene right now for the Democratic Party,” Traina said. “And you have politicians who need to be elected and who need to be able to speak to the center, who understand how to navigate that environment, and Kamala is one of those people.”
She took aim at the California Attorney General’s office in 2010 after the incumbent, Democrat Jerry Brown, ran for governor to replace term-limited Republican Arnold Schwarzenegger. It was up to Harris to retain the seat for the Democrats, and that election season was an extraordinary one as well. It would become the nationwide sweep known as the “red wave.”
Political attacks on Harris included her decision as San Francisco DA to not seek the death penalty for a gang member who shot and killed a police officer.
On Election Day in 2010, the red wave broke. Republicans regained control of the U.S. House and reclaimed governor’s seats and statehouses nationwide. In the Harris-Cooley race, however, the vote turned out to be one of the closest in California history. Ballot counting took more than three weeks.
Ace Smith, Harris’ political consultant at the time, recalls how the San Francisco Chronicle initially declared Cooley the victor.
It was a “Dewey defeats Truman” moment. In the end, Cooley had to concede.
Author Dan Morain, a Harris biographer, points to the win as a formative episode, where national politicians took notice of the upstart from California. The red wave, he said, “stopped at the eastern slope of the Sierra Nevada.”
Smith called Harris a “supremely talented, charismatic person” who attracted voters despite being outspent. In an oral history with Capitol Weekly last year, he suggested the race turned on a debate stage where Cooley defended taking both a pension and a salary after retiring.
Harris’ tenure as California attorney general drew accolades from Obama, who cast her as a “brilliant” and “dedicated” campaigner.
“(S)he is tough, and she is exactly what you’d want in anybody who is administering the law, and making sure that everybody is getting a fair shake," Obama said at a 2013 fundraiser that is best remembered for the president’s commentary on her attractiveness. (He quickly apologized.)
After becoming attorney general, it was clear to many observers Harris was aiming for even higher office, taking cautious positions on hot-button issues – or no position at all.
That would become the basis of Morain’s book, “ Kamala’s Way ,” about her ascent to the U.S. Senate and ultimately the vice presidency.
“It’s about her way of operating, and it’s her path to getting to where she is,” Morain said. “She can be very tough, she can be empathetic, she can be cautious, she can be unsure of herself, but she’s very smart and quick on her feet.”
It’s in this period that a friend introduced Harris to an entertainment lawyer in L.A. who would become her husband. Doug Emhoff would become the first second gentleman and first Jewish spouse of a president or vice president. After they wed in 2014, Emhoff’s children Cole and Ella didn’t want to call Harris a stepmom and coined the phrase: “Momala.”
By January 2015 a new lane had opened. Longtime Sen. Barbara Boxer announced she would not seek reelection in 2016. That left two of Smith’s clients, Harris and then-California Lt. Gov. Gavin Newsom, to hash out their political futures – which Smith has said was less dramatic than some have reported.
“That’s stuff of legends and myths, but not true,” Smith said in 2023 . “And at the end of the day, (Newsom) wanted to be governor more than he wanted to be senator. She wanted to be senator… The good news was it was folks who knew each other well.”
In California’s primary system, where the top two vote-getters advance, Harris emerged as the winner to run against fellow Democrat Loretta Sanchez, an almost 10-year veteran of the House of Representatives. She sailed to a more than 20-point victory over Sanchez in the general election in 2016, with the support of Obama and his vice president – Joe Biden.
A combative prosecutor on Capitol Hill
Harris became only the second Black woman to serve in the Senate in history following Illinois’s Carol Moseley Braun, a victory that came amid a new kind of red wave: That same night, Trump defeated Hillary Clinton.
Harris arrived at the Senate primed for the conflict. Her maiden speech on the Senate floor laced into Trump’s nominee for education secretary and future Cabinet member Betsy DeVos.
She landed initial appointments to the Homeland Security and Intelligence committees, in addition to the Environment and Budget panels. A year into office , Harris’ legal background helped her secure a spot on the Senate Judiciary Committee, which gave her a platform to grill Trump’s judicial nominees.
She leaned into questions about special counsel Robert Mueller’s investigation into allegations of collusion between the Trump campaign and Russia and pressed future Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh on abortion rights.
“Can you think of any laws that give government the power to make decisions about the male body?” she asked Kavanaugh during the exchange.
Kavanaugh replied, “I’m not thinking of any right now, senator.”
The clip went viral.
Soifer, the former national security adviser, said those examples in the Senate underscore how Harris is uniquely positioned to be the Democratic nominee. Harris would be the most stark contrast with Trump at a time when women’s rights, particularly reproductive healthcare, is at the forefront.
“She’s a force to be reckoned with, and I would love to see her debate Donald Trump,” Soifer said. “She would eviscerate him.”
Several months after the Kavanaugh hearings, Harris announced she’d run for president. She had served in the Senate just two years. She had not yet written a single piece of legislation that became law.
But she also had never lost an election.
Sizzling debate performance, then presidential hopes implode
Naysayers are quick to point at Harris’ failed 2020 presidential bid, which closed up shop before the first ballots were even cast.
Harris declared in her birthplace of Oakland, near the hospital where she was born; the University of California, Berkeley, where her parents met; and a stone’s throw from where she had worked as a young district attorney.
She was running to protect America’s democratic institutions and healthcare access for all, she said, to check the white supremacists who descended on Charlottesville and to keep children out of cages at the southern border.
“People in power are trying to convince us that the villain in our American story is each other. But that is not our story. That is not who we are. That’s not our America,” she said as she stood in front of Oakland City Hall.
Harris caught the country’s attention when she went after Biden at the first Democratic debate that summer. She criticized the former vice president for comments he’d made about pro-segregationists he served with and shared with him what it was like to be bused to an all-white school.
“You also worked with them to oppose busing,” she said. “And, you know, there was a little girl in California who was part of the second class to integrate her public schools, and she was bused to school every day. And that little girl was me.”
Harris shot up in the rankings: she was in a tight race for second place.
But the momentum did not hold. Less than three months after the breakout moment, Harris’ campaign was sinking. She was down in the polls, and running out of cash. She’d burned through a $35 million war chest and her campaign was rife with infighting .
Harris made one of the most difficult decisions of her political career. With two months to go until the Iowa Caucus, she quit the race.
Smith, the political consultant who engineered Harris’ 2010 win in the face of the red wave, said bowing out of the presidential race in 2020 was the right call and led to her vice presidential nod, contrasted with Elizabeth Warren’s bid that dragged on.
“Sometimes,” Smith said in 2023, “the wisest political decision you can make is actually to realize when you're not being successful and get out.”
The calculus paid off: When Biden secured the nomination, thanks largely to African American voters, he chose her as his running mate.
Harris’ sharp debate skills served her well on Biden’s ticket. As then-Vice President Mike Pence tried to interrupt her, Harris delivered one of the most memorable lines of her political career that turned into an online sensation.
“Mr. Vice President, I’m speaking,” she told Pence.
“She’s a remarkable leader who inspires certainly all of those who have worked with her closely, but also now the American people, especially women and young women who look to her as someone who gives them a sense of empowerment,” Soifer said. “She’s a fighter.”
Some wonder: What has Kamala Harris done as vice president?
Harris' election to vice president as the first woman, Black person and Asian American to serve in the role was met with celebration.
That enthusiasm waned over the years as Harris fumbled early assignments, which supporters claim she was unfairly saddled with in the early days of the Biden administration.
The president tasked her with addressing the “root causes” of mass migration to the southern border – an area she had little to no expertise on as a senator or attorney general. Harris’ team had to bring in outside experts from nonprofit organizations that do work in the region to brief her.
On a trip to Guatemala that June, Harris came under heavy scrutiny for telling NBC’s Lester Holt she’d been to the U.S.-Mexico border. Neither she nor Biden had at that point. The White House stressed that was not her assignment – it was to work with Northern Triangle countries. Harris soon caved to political pressure. Within weeks, she visited El Paso, Texas , where she scolded Congress to “stop the rhetoric and the finger pointing” and pass immigration legislation.
The pandemic and the efforts the White House took to protect the president and vice president from getting COVID left Harris isolated and unable to travel frequently her first year in office. The problem was compounded as Biden and his advisers struggled with how to utilize her.
Those episodes were brought up regularly during the GOP convention in Milwaukee last week as Republicans prepared for a scenario in which Harris could be the Democratic candidate.
“When Joe Biden and Kamala Harris refused to even come to Texas and see the border crisis that they created, I took the border crisis to them,” Republican Gov. Greg Abbott said on the convention stage.
Other Republicans, such as Rep. Tom Emmer, R-Minn., accused the VP of enabling “criminals and rioters” during the protests following the murder of George Floyd by a Minneapolis police officer.
Biden had served in the Senate for more than three decades before he became vice president. There was no existing schema for someone like Harris. She was a trained lawyer, who did a short stint as a senator.
“Most of that stuff is not transferable to the job of the vice president,” said Harris’ first communications director as vice president, Ashley Etienne. “So she figured out what are her strengths. And she’s over indexed on them.”
Harris finds her footing on reproductive rights, other liberal causes
It took the leak of a Supreme Court decision reversing Roe v. Wade for Harris to cut her own path . She’d worked closely with abortion rights advocates in California. She was in her element.
In a fiery speech the next day at an abortion rights gala , Harris reminded activists of her exchange with Kavanaugh.
“Those who attack Roe have been clear. They want to ban abortion in every state. They want to bully anyone who seeks or provides reproductive healthcare. And they want to criminalize and punish women for making these decisions,” she said.
Jason Williams, a professor of justice studies at Montclair State University in New Jersey, said Harris’ stepped-up presence in the wake of the Dobbs decision changed the perception of her role.
“That’s when we’ve seen in a very public way the power that she brings to this team,’’ Williams said. “Obviously when she's talking about anything in the judicial system that’s her own thing. That’s what she went to school for. That’s what she has worked (for) as… a prosecutor for so many years.”
Harris traveled the country, sounding the alarm. Democrats lost the House in the midterm elections but kept the Senate with her assistance.
The election-year victories finally offered Harris an issue area she could own. She reoriented her agenda around cultural issues such as gun rights and book bans. Her team launched a tightly controlled national college tour that was designed to amplify her message. Celebrity moderators appeared on stage with Harris as the VP fielded pre-approved questions.
Biden tapped her for bigger and better opportunities to represent the U.S. at overseas summits.
After Hamas launched a brutal, surprise attack against Israeli civilians on Oct. 7, Harris sat in on Biden’s calls with Israel Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu. Biden then sent Harris to Dubai to discuss the governance of Gaza after the war with Middle Eastern leaders.
There she delivered a searing statement about how Israel was conducting itself in the war.
“The United States is unequivocal: International humanitarian law must be respected,” Harris said. “Too many innocent Palestinians have been killed. Frankly, the scale of civilian suffering and the images and videos coming from Gaza are devastating.”
In March, she called for an immediate cease fire – remarks that were among the most pointed at that time from a member of the Biden administration.
'Already on the job:' VP role gives Harris an edge
The balance Harris would have to achieve as a presidential candidate is differentiating herself on these issues, while also taking credit for some of the administration’s accomplishments, such as student debt forgiveness and job creation.
She will have to sell herself – quickly.
“This would be the challenge: Can she communicate how much of a role she played in those kinds of outcomes?’’ said Ange-Marie Hancock, executive director of the Kirwan Institute at The Ohio State University and curator of the Kamala Harris Project, a consortium of scholars from the country studying the vice president.
Elaine Kamarck, a longtime Democratic National Committee member and expert on the party’s rules, told a group of Democratic activists during a Friday call that Harris has two major advantages: she’s already been vetted and she’s already on the job.
“We’re not going to, likely, have some surprise,” Kamarck said on the call organized by the group Delegates are Democracy . “None of the other candidates, great as they are – and some of them, I like very much, I might even like them more than the vice president – none of them have been vetted on a national stage.”
As a former prosecutor, many believe Harris also would not be intimidated by Trump, which could come with its own backlash.
“As a woman and as a woman of color, how aggressive can she be before people start having the reaction that she’s too aggressive,’’ said Debbie Walsh, director of the Center for American Women and Politics Eagleton Institute of Politics at Rutgers University. “Is that trope of the angry Black woman going to be thrown at her?”
While racist and sexist attacks aren’t new, Walsh is among those who expect them to ratchet up if Harris runs for president, alongside persistent questioning about ability and qualifications.
“It’s not going to be a walk in the park,’’ Walsh said. “We are not post-racism. We are not post-sexism. We’re still there.”
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Common App Essay Examples. Here are the current Common App prompts. Click the links to jump to the examples for a specific prompt, or keep reading to review the examples for all the prompts. Prompt #1: Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without ...
4. Writing quality. Essay reads at a noticeably low level, with poorly constructed and unclear sentences or vague generalizations. Essay communicates its main idea well enough, but does not do so in compelling or clear detail; it is linguistically boring or structurally repetitive.
Example #1: My Shape. This essay example comes from the Essay Academy, our digital college essay course. It has a really unique structure and uses shapes as a metaphor. It's also written in response to Common App Prompt #2. Read + Analyze a Common App Essay With Me!
Common App Essay Example #1: Seeds of Immigration. This student was admitted to Dartmouth College. In this Common App essay, they discuss their immigrant family background that motivates them. Although family is a commonly used topic, this student makes sure to have unique ideas and write in a genuine way.
Common App Essay Prompts 2024-2025. Part 2: Pre-writing your Common App Essay. Brainstorming Common App Essay topics. Freewriting. Essay writing timelines: how to write your Common App personal statement if you have six months, three months, one month, or even less. Part 3: Choosing your Common App Essay topic Part 4: Writing your Common App ...
Brainstorm (I think it's the most important step). Structure your essay according to your topic. Draft. Revise. Repeat. Common App essay word limit. The word limit for the Common App essay is 650. That doesn't mean you need to use all 650 words—many of the great example essays below don't.
Prompt 2: Overcoming challenges. Prompt 3: Questioning a belief or idea. Prompt 4: Appreciating an influential person. Prompt 5: Transformative event. Prompt 6: Interest or hobby that inspires learning. Prompt 7: Free topic. Other interesting articles. Frequently asked questions about college application essays.
Show, don't tell. Be specific. Choose active voice, not passive voice. Avoid clichés. Write in a tone that aligns with your goals for the essay. For example, if you are a heavy STEM applicant hoping to use your Common App essay to humanize your application, you will be undermined by writing in a brusque, harsh tone.
12 Best & Brilliant Common App Essay Examples for 2025. Writing a college application essay can be a difficult and intimidating endeavor. With limited word counts, strict prompts, and high expectations to create a stand-out composition that accurately portrays you for admissions officers and other school representatives, it can take a lot of ...
The "Common App," short for the Common Application, is a general application used to apply to multiple college undergraduate programs at once.It's accepted by hundreds of colleges in the United States as well as some colleges internationally. The idea is that the Common App is a "one-stop shop" so you don't have to complete a million separate applications.
Achievable ACT - $129. Achievable's ACT course includes endless math quizzes, hand-crafted practice exams, and our easy-to-understand online textbook (including the Writing section) with proven strategies to hit your target score. View ACT prep course. This collection of Common App essay examples will provide you some much needed inspiration ...
Vinay Bhaskara. University of Chicago. Vinay graduated with a 4.0 GPA and a 2400 (single sitting) on his SAT. Throughout his studies, Vinay genuinely enjoyed a wide range of subjects, ultimately leading him to take 19 AP exams (a school record), earning a score of 5 on all of them. In 2013, Vinay was named the State AP Scholar for the state of ...
46:38. And finally, prompt seven, share an essay on any topic of your choice, it can be one you've already written on the response to a different prompt, or one of your own design. 46:49. First off, you want to write the essay, after figuring out what you want to say, then figure out the prompt.
1 Definition and Explanation of a Social Media Essay. 2 Great Social Media Essay Topics. 2.1 Topics for an Essay on Social Media and Mental Health. 2.2 Social Dynamics. 2.3 Social Media Essay Topics about Business. 2.4 Politics. 2.5 Memes. 3 Research and Analysis. 4 Structure Social Media Essay.
Social Media Essay: A Comprehensive Guide. Emily Scott. 2024-01-17. In an age when one tweet can start a global conversation and an Instagram picture may change trends, it's amazing to realize that the typical person spends about 2 hours and 31 minutes every day on social media sites. That's more than 900 hours a year spent scrolling, enjoying ...
Write your review in 200- 250 words in an appropriate style Start Write App Review By Selvan a/l Rajaratnam A teacher created the Start Write App. It is designed with students in mind and is very easy to navigate, even on smartphone. The layout is clean and bright. The animation is tasteful and helps with student's engagement. Start Write app ...
People's reliance on digital communication over in-person contact has increased along with the popularity of social media. Face-to-face interaction has suffered as a result, which has adverse effects on interpersonal relationships and the development of social skills. Decreased Emotional Intimacy.
Advantages of social media sites. The first advantage is, you can communicate with people worldwide. You can make connections with people you know and people who share the same interests from all over the world. You also can keep in touch with your old friends which stay in far away. Secondly, you can catch up with the news at any time.
500+ Words Essay on Social Media. Social media is a tool that is becoming quite popular these days because of its user-friendly features. Social media platforms like Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and more are giving people a chance to connect with each other across distances. ... Download the App. Watch lectures, practise questions and take ...
People spend more time on social media, communicating with people all over the world, and consuming content, and as a result, they get disconnected from their surroundings. 3. Unrealistic Expectations. What we see on social media is the 'ideal' part of a person's life, and not their insecurities and problems.
Edit: After looking into it more I've decided to not write my application on my anxiety. I think I could still write a good essay, but I this isn't the kind of thing they want. Harsh reality, but I'll take it. There is nothing stopping you from writing an essay on this. However, it should be noted that this is a pretty cliche topic, up there ...
Introduction: Instagram has become one of the most popular social media platforms in the world, and for good reason. Background: It has surpassed other social networks like Facebook, Twitter, and Snapchat by adopting new and distinctive features. Instagram is designed to share photos, videos, and locations in an interesting way by involving different attractive themes, which is the main reason ...
You'll choose one Common Essay prompt to respond to in 250-650 words. These prompts are common to all schools who accept the Common Application, and you can view the prompts here. Choose the option that best helps you answer that question and write an essay of no more than 650 words, using the prompt to inspire and structure your response.
Across the world, critical businesses and services including airlines, hospitals, train networks and TV stations, were disrupted on Friday by a global tech outage affecting Microsoft users.
Seventh and eighth graders in Malvern, Pa., impersonating their teachers posted disparaging, lewd, racist and homophobic videos in the first known mass attack of its kind in the U.S.
The 2024 MLB All-Star Game is in the books, with the American League earning a 5-3 win over the National League on Tuesday night in Arlington, Texas.. But it's the uniforms for the game, not the ...
Mentions of Trump on social media soared up to 17 times the average daily amount in the hours after the shooting, according to PeakMetrics, a cyber firm that tracks online narratives. Many of those mentions were expressions of sympathy for Trump or calls for unity. But many others made unfounded, fantastical claims.
In Corey Comperatore's final moment, he did what came naturally to the father of two daughters: He protected his family. With his own life. "He...
Recent history:Kamala Harris on standby as Democrats plunge into panic mode The 59-year-old Harris may seem the obvious strategic page turn for the party as well as a generational shift. Her life ...
In a video posted to social media on Friday morning, Anant's mother Nita Ambani recounted a recent trip to Varanasi, in India's Uttar Pradesh state, where she sought blessings for the pair ...