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Writing a Winning UCAS Engineering Personal Statement: Ultimate Guide w/Analysed Examples

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Engineering Personal Statement: Why It’s Important

With careers in engineering providing  over 20% of the UK’s total economic productivity and with over one-fourth of its workforce working in engineering fields , it’s no surprise that some of  the best and highest-ranked  engineering schools in the world are located in the United Kingdom. So how do you get a spot in one of the best engineering programmes in the world? You need impressive marks, a good resume, and a stellar engineering personal statement.

Before we get to that, though, let’s back up a little and examine everything it takes to get into a good engineering programme.

Engineering Programme Prerequisites

Before you get ready to apply for an engineering programme at any university, there are  several prerequisites  you need to have met first. While these prerequisites may differ slightly from university to university, the majority of them should remain the same.

Completed Coursework

You must have, at a minimum, at least two A-Levels if you expect to get into an engineering programme. In the most popular programmes, you’ll need at least three, with grades of A’s and B’s in each. The exact entry requirements may vary, but they tend to range from CCC to AAA. Most universities prefer you to have ABB.

Additionally, one of your A-Levels needs to be in maths. A second A Level in physics is also encouraged for students hoping to study engineering at Uni. There are other courses that may be accepted in place of physics, such as other science courses, additional maths courses, or design and/or computing courses, but your safest bet will always be maths and physics as two of your A-Levels. If you don’t have an A-Level in maths, you may be required to take a maths and/or mechanics aptitude test before being considered for admission.

Vocational Courses

If you don’t have the required A Levels, another option you can use at some schools is to substitute vocational courses for them. For example, if you have Level 3 or Level 6 qualifications, you might be able to use these as replacements for the A-Level courses. These qualifications include the following:

  • SVQ Scientific, Technical & Formulation Processing (SCQF Level 6)
  • Pearson BTEC Level 3 National Extended Diploma in Engineering or Construction and Built Environment

It’s important to note that not all universities will accept these as substitutes for A-Levels, so check with each school individually.

Biotechnology and Chemical Engineering

If you’re interested in a biotechnology or chemical engineering programme, the required A Levels are a little different. Universities usually require two A-Levels in science or a Scottish Highers with either biology or chemistry as one of the subjects. Additionally, you’ll also be required to have five GCSEs that include English, maths, and a science.

Scottish Highers

The most common range for entry into Highers is between ABBB and AAAAB. The majority of universities require AABBB. If a university requests an Advanced Highers to supplement Highers, they most often ask for an AA.

Additional Qualifications for Admission

The only true prerequisites for admission into an engineering programme are those listed above, but there are some additional things you may want to have on your application to make it more memorable. These include relevant work or apprenticeship experience, volunteer experience, and personal references.

Applying for Admission

To apply for any undergraduate programme at a university in the UK, particularly an engineering programme, you have to fill out an application through the  UCAS (Universities and Colleges Admissions Service) . If you’ve ever applied to a college or university in the United States using the Common App, the UCAS is very similar.

It’s a centralised location for applying to a multitude of different schools/courses, and you’ll use it whether you live in the UK or are an international student. The actual name of the application is the UCAS Apply. Once you’ve completed it, you can apply to up to five separate universities (or five separate degree programmes if you aren’t set in your engineering course) simultaneously.

Filling out the UCAS Apply: A Step-by-Step Guide

Step 1: register for the ucas site.

This is a simple setup process. You’ll sign up by setting up a username and password. You’ll create some security questions in case you lose your password, and then you’ll be asked some basic information such as your name, birth date, and other personally-identifying information.

Step 2: Verify Your Account, Sign In & Enter the Rest of Your Information

After verifying that you really did create an account, you’ll be asked to sign in using the username and password you just created. Then you’ll fill in the rest of your personal information, including your residency status. You’ll also be asked about how you plan to pay for university and whether or not you’ll be requesting scholarships.

Additionally, you’ll be asked about any special needs you have or the accommodations you’ll need. If you have any type of criminal record, you’ll indicate that in this section. You can also give permission for an adult in your life – parent, adviser, mentor, guardian, etc. – to have access to your UCAS profile. This gives them permission to talk to university staff about you, your university goals, and anything else of note.

Steps 3 & 4: For UK Residents Only

If you’re an international student, you won’t be required to fill out steps three and four. (Note: Residents of the EU might possibly be asked to fill out step 4.) Section three asks about your national identity, ethnic origin, and occupational background. There are some additional questions in this section that are optional. These ask about your religious beliefs, sexual orientation, and gender identity.

You’ll also be provided with space to discuss your own, personal circumstances, especially as they relate to your ability to pay for and succeed at Uni. This could include information about your parents’ education or background, activities in which you’ve been involved, whether or not you’ve been in care, etc.

Section four isn’t always asked and only appears if questions in the personal details section have been answered a certain way. If they do appear, they’ll be asking about your finances.

Step 5: Choose Your Courses/Universities

In this section, you’ll be able to apply for up to five different courses and/or universities. This is where you choose what programmes you hope to be accepted into. You can only choose five though, so choose wisely.

Step 6: Provide Your Educational History

Here you’ll enter your entire educational history beginning at secondary education. You’ll enter your A-Levels as well as any vocational courses you’ve taken. It’s important that you list all of these exactly right, including the marks you received in each.

Step 7: Employment History

This is where you’ll attach your work resume. This is for paid work only. If you have any volunteer experience or other unpaid work, it’ll be listed in your personal statement instead. You can only list five places of employment, so if you’ve had more than five jobs, choose the five most relevant to the programme you’re pursuing (in this case, engineering).

Step 8: Your Personal Statement

We’ll discuss this in-depth a little later on.

Step 9: Review the Details

Once you’ve completed all the above-listed steps, you’ll have a chance to review everything. Review it thoroughly and make any changes necessary. You won’t be allowed to edit it once it’s been submitted.

Step 10: Personal Reference, Application Fee & Submit

Finally, you’ll need at least one personal reference. This should be from someone who knows you in a professional capacity, either from working with you or having had you in class. You’ll also be required to pay an application fee of £20 if you’re applying to only one course and £25 if you’re applying for multiple courses. Then you’ll submit the application.

Once you’ve submitted your UCAS Apply application, you’re all set. You can track it using the UCAS Tracker to see if your desired universities have received it. Then you wait for the university to reach out to you for more information, an interview, or acceptance.

Writing Your Personal Statement

If you’re applying to an engineering programme, you’ll be required to write a  personal statement  as part of step 8 on the UCAS Apply application. We can’t overemphasise how important step 8 truly is. There are very few universities that require you to write an additional essay or personal statement for entrance into their engineering programmes, so this is your one chance to get it right.

So what exactly should you write about?

There isn’t exactly a prompt for writing your UCAS personal statement. Under this same question – “What should I write about?” – on the  UCAS website , the answer given is simply, “You.” In other words, write about yourself.

The admissions team wants to know why they should give you a coveted spot in the engineering programme over every other applicant. You need to tell them why you want a spot at the university, but you also need to tell them why you  deserve  a spot  and  what it is about you that should make them want to  give  you a spot. This means showcasing your strengths, achievements, and drive to succeed.

In case you need a little more guidance, here are some questions to ask yourself to help you get started:

  • Why are you interested in attending university, and what aspects of university life are you most looking forward to experiencing?
  • What are your career goals?
  • What first interested you in engineering, and what about it continues to interest you?
  • What experiences have you had, either in school or in the work environment, that would prepare you for studying at university?
  • Was there anything about your earlier education studies you found to be particularly helpful or interesting?
  • What do you most hope to gain from your time at the university, and what strengths and positive characteristics will you bring with you?
  • What makes you a good candidate for a position at Uni?
  • What elements of your future studies are you looking forward to most?
  • Have you taken any higher education courses already, received any awards or accolades, or been recognised for outstanding academic or professional ability?
  • What can you write about to prove that you’ve researched engineering beyond what you learned in your early education?

If you consider these questions and keep them in mind while writing, you’ll likely cover everything you need to cover to make a good impression on the admissions team. UCAS also provides you with this  personal statement worksheet  to help organise your thoughts and guide your writing.

Standard Engineering Personal Statement Length & Format

One thing to keep in mind while writing your personal statement is that it has to stay within a  certain character limit . No matter how much you have to say, you have to keep it under 4000 characters or 47 lines of text.

While this isn’t an exact word count, that averages out to approximately 500 words, which isn’t a ton of words. It’s about one single-spaced page worth of text. This means that you must be concise. You want to get in all the important information that’ll help your application stand out from all the other applications universities receive, but you have to do it without being too wordy.

Format Requirements

Worrying about the formatting requirements (double-spaced, single-spaced, font size, etc.) is unnecessary for your engineering personal statement because you’ll be typing or pasting it into a text box on the website. As long as your paragraphs are clearly defined and your font is easy to read, you should be fine on formatting guidelines.

However, because you only get 47 lines of text, it’s important that you  structure your paper correctly . This means breaking your personal statement into roughly three sections, with each section answering a specific question. For the sake of clarity, we’ll call these sections the introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.

Now let’s break it down a little further.

A Brief Introduction

The introduction should take up about 15-20% of your personal statement. That’s approximately seven to ten of the 47 provided lines. In your introduction, try to answer the question, “Why do you want to study engineering?” You can talk about the experiences that shaped your love of the subject and the things about it that continue to interest you. You might even touch on why you feel it’s important that people study engineering at all.

Full, Rich Body Paragraphs

Your body paragraphs should make up about 55-65% of your engineering personal statement, or 26 to 30 lines. In these paragraphs, you’ll address the questions, “What have you done that has prepared you for this course?” and “Why do you deserve a spot in the programme?” This is when you go in-depth into your experiences, educational history,  relevant  employment, etc.

Other questions you may want to address in your body paragraphs are:

  • How have you cultivated the knowledge you need to succeed in this field?
  • What did you learn while preparing for this course?
  • Did you receive high marks in the classes relevant to an engineering course?
  • Did you win any awards or receive any other accolades?
  • What about your life experiences that has fully prepared you not just to enrol in the course but to excel in it?

A Brief Conclusion

Your conclusion should make up between 20-25% of your engineering personal statement, which is roughly ten to 12 lines. Here you’ll sum up your personal statement and bring it to a close. This is where you’ll add in any other extracurricular activities that might not be relevant to engineering but are impressive enough that you want the admissions team to know about them. You can also touch briefly on your future career goals in this section.

Other Things to Remember

One statement – five applications.

One of the most important things to remember about your engineering personal statement for your UCAS Apply application is that you can only write one statement, even though you could be applying to five different courses/universities. This means you don’t want to mention any specific university by name. If you do, the four other universities to which you’ve applied may think you aren’t seriously interested in them and disregard your application altogether.

Additionally, if you’ve applied to study different subjects rather than simply applying to five different engineering programmes, you won’t be able to focus your personal statement quite so much on the field of engineering. Instead, you’ll have to take a much more general approach to writing your personal statement, discussing your strengths in general terms as opposed to how they would apply specifically to the field of engineering.

Proofread and Edit

Do  not  submit your application and your included engineering personal statement without first proofreading and editing your statement. It’s even better if you can ask a  mentor, professor, or trusted friend  to look over it for you before you submit it. Having a fresh set of eyes looking over your paper is a great way to find errors you might have otherwise missed. Proper grammar and writing style are important, so don’t rush ahead without a proper amount of time spent editing and cleaning up.

The Website Will Time Out

Another important thing to remember is that the UCAS website will time out after 35 minutes of inactivity. For this reason, it’s better if you write your personal statement ahead of time in a separate document and then simply copy and paste it into the text box once it’s been fully edited and is ready to go.

Engineering Personal Statement Examples

Example personal statement 1.

“I hope a degree from your University will allow me to transfer key abilities from a place of study into, eventually, a place in industry. After much extended research, my admiration for the engineering innovator, Karl Benz, has been truly established. Commonly regarded as the originator of the first automobile powered by an internal combustion engine, his contributions to the vast domain that is engineering are simply colossal. One creation of his that captivated my mind tremendously was the ‘Blitzen Benz’; a vehicle fabricated solely for the purpose of speed. […]

Understandably, I am mindful that the finest engineers must possess a resilient skill-set, which should include the ability to thrive in both collaborative and solo tasks, flourish under pressure and blossom in positions requiring a leadership mentality. Hopefully, a place on this course will allow me to reinforce and augment my previously developed skills whilst allowing me to simultaneously acquire many more essential abilities that will prove beneficial in later life.”

– Read the rest  here

Although this excerpt is a little longer than we usually like to include, we had to include it. It’s just too impressive to ignore. First of all, you’ll notice the author refers to “your University.” This is how you should always speak of the prospective university in your engineering personal statement because it sounds personal, but it doesn’t call any specific school by name, which would alienate the other four universities to which you applied.

Secondly, the author speaks of his admiration for the engineer and inventor Karl Benz. This shows that he’s researched his field of study outside of what he learned in school. It shows he has a genuine interest and passion for engineering, which means he should do well at Uni. The section that’s been removed goes into more detail about the ‘Blitzen Benz,’ using language that shows he has a solid knowledge of the technical terms associated with engineering.

Finally, he smoothly transitions into highlighting his strengths. He mentions many of the qualities that make for a good engineer and then mentions he has those qualities. In the next section, which has also been removed for the sake of brevity, he talks a bit about how he cultivated those qualities. He also says he hopes his time at Uni will help further these necessary qualities in him, and then transitions into talking about his future goals.

It is a powerfully written personal statement that shows the writer to be an excellent candidate for the engineering programme.

Our Verdict:

Image of a star-struck grinning emoji

Example Personal Statement 2

“Engineers build societies. More specifically, mechanical engineers apply fundamental maths and physics laws to construct mechanical devices that we use every day, despite sometimes going unnoticed. For this reason, I would like to pursue a career in engineering, as it is such a key component in societies. It combines my fascination of how things work and the mechanics behind devices, with the ability to apply maths and physics concepts to real-life situations.

Studying Maths Mechanics at A-level has given me experience with calculus and more advanced mathematics, including differential equations, creating a firm grounding for the mathematics I should encounter at degree level. Physics has given me an understanding of fundamental notions and reinforced the mechanical aspects of maths […]”

his is another example of a well-written engineering personal statement. The introductory paragraph, in particular, is superb and covers everything that should be covered. The writer starts by highlighting why engineering is important to society as a whole. In doing so, she also demonstrates a solid knowledge of what engineering is all about.

She transitions smoothly into why she wants to become an engineer and mentions that she has a fascination with both  “how things work”  and  “the mechanics behind devices,”  which are two key elements for a successful engineer. In her next paragraph, she begins talking about her educational history, showing she has the experience and education necessary for a foundation in engineering.

Altogether, she presents herself as someone with passion, clearly defined goals, and a solid foundation that should allow her to hit the ground running when she begins at the university.

Image of a smiling face with heart-shaped eyes emoji

Example Personal Statement 3

“My desire to study Engineering stems from the practical application of Maths and Physics to real world situations to enhance and improve them is a field that I find fascinating and perplexing. After partaking in different engineering-based experiences, I learnt how varied and inclusive this subject is, and that is the reason I want to study Engineering at University.”

In contrast to the first two examples, this is an example of a weak engineering personal statement that wasn’t done well. This is the author’s introductory paragraph, and right from the beginning, it fails to paint the writer in a good light. The first sentence is grammatically incorrect and makes no sense as written. The paragraph is also much too short and vague.

Referring back to the common structure of a personal statement, you’ll remember the introductory paragraph should be about seven to ten lines long. This one is about four. It doesn’t have enough information on it, and the information that’s there is too general. It sounds like a child’s version of what an engineer does and why it’d be fun to be an engineer.

The student mentions  “partaking in different engineering-based experiences”  but doesn’t give any examples to back up that claim. Even his reason for wanting to be an engineer isn’t clearly defined. This is a weak, unmemorable statement that isn’t going to impress anyone on an admissions team.

An image of an unamused face emoji

Example Personal Statement 4

“My extra-curricular activities in and out of school have enhanced my ability to lead a group. I joined stem club at the beginning of year 12 and this has contributed to the improvement of my problem-solving skills which has helped me significantly in my maths modules and physics. […] I play the piano […] piano allows me to improve my thinking skills on the spot. My schedule is very busy and challenges me to manage my time carefully […] I am always challenging my own understanding and I believe that I have the right attitude, skills and personality for this degree. I feel that a career in engineering will make good use of my strengths.”

– Read the rest  here

Let’s look again at the typical structure of a personal statement listed above. You’ll see that the conclusion paragraph should be about ten lines long. It’s also a good place to list all the extracurricular activities that aren’t strictly associated with engineering but that you want the admissions team to know about you.

This author wrote a great conclusion paragraph. Although sections have been removed, you can see it’s close to the right length. Additionally, she uses the conclusion paragraph exactly as it should be used, listing all of her extra achievements she wants the admissions team to know. Beyond that, though, she uses these extracurricular activities as another way to show her strengths – strengths that would make her a good fit for any engineering programme.

She mentions having good leadership skills. She also talks about being part of a STEM (science, technology,  engineering,  and mathematics) club. She talks about playing the piano but then adds that her ability to play has improved her on-the-fly problem-solving skills. She talks about work and her busy schedule, but then stresses that this has helped her learn good time management skills.

Instead of just using her conclusion to provide a list of her extracurricular activities, she uses it as another opportunity to casually and naturally highlight her skills. She ends by saying these skills she learned in all these activities will serve her well in her future career as an engineer, which is a great way to end the personal statement on a relevant note.

Example Personal Statement 5

“During my school life, I have enjoyed taking part in sporting events organised by the French charity “Justice au Coeur” […] My extracurricular activities include athletics […] I also attended a scouts’ club in my neighbourhood, and have passed Grade 7 in drama. […]

I am a native speaker of English and French […] I have also studied Latin at my school for six years, and am going to take it as a subject at the French Baccalauréat.

One of my main hobbies is model rocketry. […]

I completed two weeks of unpaid work experience in a WHSmith bookshop in Wimbledon in June 2012. I thoroughly enjoyed my time there.”

By contrast, this is an example of a writer who didn’t do a good job of adding in her extracurricular activities. First of all, even though it’s not evident here, this information is listed in this author’s body paragraphs, not her conclusion. These sentences, along with several similar ones that have been removed, make up  four paragraphs  of the body of her engineering personal statement.

She used  four paragraphs  talking about things that have absolutely nothing to do with engineering. She wasted those four paragraphs. All this information is nice information to provide, but it should have all been condensed into one small paragraph at the end of the personal statement.

Instead, she took the paragraphs that should have been devoted to what she’s done to prepare her for engineering and why she deserves a spot in the programme and wasted them on extracurricular activities that aren’t really relevant.

Remember: You only have 4000 characters to write your personal statement, and use those characters wisely.

Image of a yawning face emoji

To Sum It All Up…

The main things to remember when writing your engineering personal statement are to be truthful, be concise, and be authentic. It’s also important that you write a 100% unique, “personal-to-you” personal statement. It’s okay to look at other people’s statements for inspiration or to get a feel for what works and what doesn’t, but there are severe consequences for plagiarism ( here’s a plagiarism-checker you can use ) and cheating, including having your entire application trashed at all the universities to which you applied.

Finally, make sure you dedicate enough time to the process. You want to plan your statement out ahead of time and have enough time to write it thoroughly and completely. It’s also important to save time for the  editing and proofreading stages  after you’ve finished your first draft.

Be specific when talking about your interests, goals, and strengths. Remember, this is one of the few times in life when it is okay to sell yourself. You want to make a good impression, and you want to be memorable. The more easily the admissions team can recall you and your engineering personal statement, the more likely you’ll get a spot in a good engineering programme.

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ucas personal statement engineering sample

UCAS Personal Statement and Examples

What is the ucas personal statement .

The Universities and Colleges Admissions Service (UCAS) Personal Statement is the main essay for your application to colleges and universities in Great Britain. UCAS gives a nice explanation here , but in short, this is your chance to stand out against the crowd and show your knowledge and enthusiasm for your chosen area of study.

You’ve got 4,000 characters and 47 line limit to show colleges what (ideally) gets you out of bed in the morning. How long is that, really? Use your “word count” tool in Google or Word docs to check as you go along, but 4,000 characters is roughly 500 words or one page.

HOW IS THE UCAS PERSONAL STATEMENT DIFFERENT FROM THE US PERSONAL STATEMENT?

Think they’re the same? Think again. Here are some key differences between the UCAS and the US Personal Statement:

When you apply to UK schools, you’re applying to one particular degree program, which you’ll study for all, or almost all, your time at university. Your UCAS personal statement should focus less on cool/fun/quirky aspects of yourself and more on how you’ve prepared for your particular area of study.

The UCAS Personal Statement will be read by someone looking for proof that you are academically capable of studying that subject for your entire degree. In some cases, it might be an actual professor reading your essay.

You’ll only write one personal statement, which will be sent to all the universities you’re applying to, and it’s unlikely you’ll be sending any additional (supplemental) essays. Your essay needs to explain why you enjoy and are good at this subject, without reference to any particular university or type of university.

Any extracurricular activities that are NOT connected to the subject you’re applying for are mostly irrelevant, unless they illustrate relevant points about your study skills or attributes: for example, having a job outside of school shows time-management and people skills, or leading a sports team shows leadership and responsibility.

Your personal statement will mostly focus on what you’ve done at high school, in class, and often in preparation for external exams. 80-90% of the content will be academic in nature.

A QUICK STEP-BY-STEP GUIDE TO WRITING THE UCAS PERSONAL STATEMENT

This may be obvious, but the first step to a great UCAS Personal Statement is to choose the subject you’re applying for. This choice will be consistent across the (up to) five course choices you have. Often, when students struggle with a UCAS personal statement, it’s because they are trying to make the statement work for a couple of different subjects. With a clear focus on one subject, the essay can do the job it is supposed to do. Keep in mind you’re limited to 47 lines or 4000 characters, so this has to be concise and make efficient use of words.

To work out what information to include, my favourite brainstorming activity is the ‘Courtroom Exercise’. Here’s how it works:

The Courtroom Exercise

Imagine you’re prosecuting a case in court, and the case is that should be admitted to a university to study the subject you’ve chosen. You have to present your case to the judge, in a 47 line or 4,000 character statement. The judge won’t accept platitudes or points made without evidence–she needs to see evidence. What examples will you present in your statement?

In a good statement, you’ll make an opening and a closing point.

To open your argument, can you sum up in one sentence why you wish to study this subject? Can you remember where your interest in that subject began? Do you have a story to tell that will engage the reader about your interest in that subject?

Next, you’ll present a number of pieces of evidence, laying out in detail why you’re a good match for this subject. What activities have you done that prove you can study this subject at university?

Most likely, you’ll start with a class you took, a project you worked on, an internship you had, or a relevant extra-curricular activity you enjoyed. For each activity you discuss, structure a paragraph on each using the ABC approach:

A: What is the A ctivity?

B: How did it B enefit you as a potential student for this degree course?

C: Link the benefit to the skills needed to be successful on this C ourse.

With three or four paragraphs like these, each of about 9 or 10 lines, and you should have the bulk of your statement done. Typically two of these will be about classes you have taken at school, and two about relevant activities outside of school.

In the last paragraph, you need to demonstrate wider skills that you have, which you can probably do from your extracurricular activities. How could you demonstrate your time management, your ability to collaborate, or your creativity? Briefly list a few extracurricular activities you’ve taken part in and identify the relevant skills that are transferable to university study.

Finally, close your argument in a way that doesn’t repeat what you’ve already shared. Case closed!

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS

What if I’m not sure what I want to study? Should I still apply? 

There are a number of broader programs available at UK universities (sometimes called Liberal Arts or Flexible Combined Honours). However,  you should still showcase two or three academic areas of interest. If you are looking for a broader range of subjects to study and can’t choose one, then the UK might not be the best fit for you.

What if I haven’t done much, academically or via extracurriculars, to demonstrate that I’ll be able to complete the coursework for my degree? Should I still apply?

You certainly can, but you will need to be realistic about the strength of your application as a result. The most selective universities will want to see this evidence, but less selective ones will be more willing to account for your potential to grow in addition to what you’ve already achieved. You could also consider applying for a Foundation course or a ‘Year 0’ course, where you have an additional year pre-university to enable you to develop this range of evidence.

If I’m not accepted into a particular major, can I be accepted into a different major?

It’s important to understand that we are not talking about a ‘major,’ as what you are accepted into is one entire course of study. Some universities may make you an ‘alternative offer’ for a similar but perhaps less popular course (for example you applied for Business but instead they offer you a place for Business with a Language).At others, you can indicate post-application that you would like to be considered for related courses. However, it’s not going to be possible to switch between two completely unrelated academic areas.

What other information is included in my application? Will they see my extracurricular activities, for example? Is there an Additional Information section where I can include more context on what I’ve done in high school?

The application is very brief: the personal statement is where you put all the information. UCAS does not include an activities section or space for any other writing. The 47 lines are all you have. Some universities might accept information if there are particularly important extenuating circumstances that must be conveyed. This can be done via email, but typically, they don’t want to see more than the UCAS statement and your school’s reference provides.

Now, let’s take a look at some of my favourite UCAS personal statement examples with some analysis of why I think these are great.

UCAS PERSONAL STATEMENT EXAMPLE FOR CHEMISTRY

When I was ten, I saw a documentary on Chemistry that really fascinated me. Narrated by British theoretical physicist Jim Al-Khalili, it explained how the first elements were discovered and how Chemistry was born out of alchemy. I became fascinated with Chemistry and have remained so ever since. I love the subject because it has very theoretical components, for example quantum Chemistry, while also having huge practical applications.

In this introduction, the student shows where his interest in Chemistry comes from. Adding some additional academic detail (in this case, the name of the scientist) helps guide the reader into more specific information on why this subject is interesting to him.

This aspect of Chemistry is important to me. I have, for example, used machine learning to differentiate between approved and experimental drugs. On the first run, using drug molecules from the website Drug Bank, I calculated some molecular descriptors for them. I started with a simple logistic regression model and was shocked to find that it had apparently classified almost all molecules correctly. This result couldn’t be right; it took me nearly a month to find the error. I accidentally normalized the molecular-descriptor data individually, rather than as a combined data set, thereby encoding the label into the input. On a second run, after fixing the error, I used real machine learning libraries. Here I actually got some performance with my new algorithm, which I could compare to professional researchers’ papers. The highest accuracy I ever saw on my screen was 86 percent. The researchers’ result was 85 percent; thanks to more modern machine learning methods, I narrowly beat them. I have also studied Mathematics and Physics at A Level and have been able to dive into areas beyond the A Level syllabus such as complex integration in math and the Schrödinger equation in Physics.

This paragraph outlines a clear case for this student’s aptitude for and interest in Chemistry. He explains in detail how he has explored his intended major, using academic terminology to show us he has studied the subject deeply. Knowing an admissions reader is looking for evidence that this student has a talent for Chemistry, this paragraph gives them the evidence they need to admit him.

Additionally, I have worked on an undergraduate computer science course on MIT Opencourseware, but found that the content followed fixed rules and did not require creativity. At the time I was interested in neural networks and listened to lectures by professor Geoffrey Hinton who serendipitously mentioned his students testing his techniques on ‘Kaggle Competitions’. I quickly got interested and decided to compete on this platform. Kaggle allowed me to measure my machine learning skills against competitors with PhDs or who are professional data scientists at large corporations. With this kind of competition naturally I did not win any prizes, but I worked with the same tools and saw how others gradually perfected a script, something which has helped my A Level studies immensely.

Introducing a new topic, the student again uses academic terminology to show how he has gone beyond the confines of his curriculum to explore the subject at a higher level. In this paragraph, he demonstrates that he has studied university-level Chemistry. Again, this helps the reader to see that this student is capable of studying for a Chemistry degree.

I have been keen to engage in activities beyond the classroom. For example, I have taken part in a range of extracurricular activities, including ballroom dancing, public speaking, trumpet, spoken Mandarin, and tennis, achieving a LAMDA distinction at level four for my public speaking. I have also participated in Kaggle competitions, as I’m extremely interested in machine learning. For example, I have used neural networks to determine the causes of Amazon deforestation from satellite pictures in the ‘Planet: Understanding the Amazon from Space’ competition. I believe that having worked on projects spanning several weeks or even months has allowed me to build a stamina that will be extremely useful when studying at university.

This penultimate paragraph introduces the student’s extracurricular interests, summing them up in a sentence. Those activities that can demonstrate skills that are transferable to the study of Chemistry are given a bit more explanation. The student’s descriptions in each paragraph are very detailed, with lots of specific information about awards, classes and teachers.

What I hope to gain from an undergraduate (and perhaps post-graduate) education in Chemistry is to deepen my knowledge of the subject and potentially have the ability to successfully launch a startup after university. I’m particularly interested in areas such as computational Chemistry and cheminformatics. However, I’m  open to studying other areas in Chemistry, as it is a subject that truly captivates me.

In the conclusion, the student touches on his future plans, using specific terminology that shows his knowledge of Chemistry. This also reveals that he aims to have a career in this field, which many admission readers find appealing as it demonstrates a level of commitment to the subject.

UCAS PERSONAL STATEMENT EXAMPLE FOR VETERINARY MEDICINE

This next statement has to accomplish a number of tasks, given the subject the student is applying for. As a vocational degree, applicants for veterinary medicine are committing to a career as well as a subject to study, so they need to give information demonstrating they understand the reality of a career in this area. It also needs to explain their motivation for this interest, which quite often is demonstrated through work experience (something which is often a condition for entry into these programs). Finally, as this is a highly academic subject to study at university, the author should include a good level of academic terminology and experiences in the statement.

There is nothing more fascinating to me than experiencing animals in the wild, in their natural habitat where their behaviour is about the survival of their species. I was lucky enough to experience this when in Tanzania. While observing animals hunting, I became intrigued by their musculature and inspired to work alongside these animals to help them when they are sick, as a veterinarian.

In an efficient way, the applicant explains her motivation to become a vet, then squeezes in a bit of information about her experience with animals.

As a horse rider and owner for nearly ten years, I have sought opportunities to learn as much as I can about caring for the animal. I helped around the yard with grooming and exercise, bringing horses in and out from the fields, putting on rugs, and mucking out. I have also been working at a small animal vet clinic every other Saturday for over 2.5 years. There, my responsibilities include restocking and sterilising equipment, watching procedures, and helping in consultations. Exposure to different cases has expanded my knowledge of various aspects, such as assisting with an emergency caesarean procedure. Due to a lack of staff on a Saturday, I was put in charge of anaesthesia while the puppies were being revived. I took on this task without hesitation and recorded heart and respiration rate, capillary refill time, and gum colour every five minutes. Other placements following an equine vet, working on a polo farm, and volunteering at a swan sanctuary have also broadened my experience with different species and how each possesses various requirements. During pre-vet summer courses, I was also introduced to farm animals such as pigs, cows, sheep and chicken. I spend some time milking dairy cows and removing clustered dust from chicken feet, as well as tipping sheep in order to inspect their teats.

In this paragraph, she synthesizes personal experience with an academic understanding of vet medicine. She demonstrates that she is committed to animals (helping in the yard, regular Saturday work, assistance with procedures), that she has gained a variety of experiences, and that she understands some of the conditions (caesareans, clustered dust) that vets have to deal with. Note that she also briefly discusses ‘pre-vet summer courses,’ adding credibility to her level of experience.

I have focused on HL Biology and HL Chemistry for my IB Diploma. I was particularly excited to study cell biology and body systems because these subjects allowed me to comprehend how the body works and are applicable to animal body functions. Topics like DNA replication as well as cell transcription and translation have helped me form a fundamental understanding of genetics and protein synthesis, both important topics when looking into hereditary diseases in animals. Learning about chemical reactions made me consider the importance of pharmaceutical aspects of veterinary medicine, such as the production of effective medicine. Vaccines are essential and by learning about the chemical reactions, I f developed a more nuanced understanding about how they are made and work.

Now, the statement turns to academic matters, linking her IB subjects to the university studies she aspires to. She draws out one particular example that makes a clear link between school and university-level study.

I have also written my Extended Essay discussing the consequences of breeding laws in the UK and South Australia in relation to the development of genetic abnormalities in pugs and German shepherds. This topic is important, as the growing brachycephalic aesthetic of pugs is causing them to suffer throughout their lifetime. Pedigree dogs, such as the German shepherd, have a very small gene pool and as a result, hereditary diseases can develop. This becomes an ethical discussion, because allowing German shepherds to suffer is not moral; however, as a breed, they aid the police and thus serve society.

The IB Extended Essay (like an A Level EPQ or a Capstone project) is a great topic to discuss in a personal statement, as these activities are designed to allow students to explore subjects in greater detail.

The first sentence here is a great example of what getting more specific looks like because it engages more directly with what the student is actually writing about in this particular paragraph then it extrapolates a more general point of advice from those specificities.

By choosing to write her Extended Essay on a topic of relevance to veterinary medicine, she has given herself the opportunity to show the varied aspects of veterinary science. This paragraph proves to the reader that this student is capable and motivated to study veterinary medicine.

I have learned that being a veterinarian requires diagnostic skills as well as excellent communication and leadership skills. I understand the importance and ethics of euthanasia decisions, and the sensitivity around discussing it withanimal owners. I have developed teamwork and leadership skills when playing varsity football and basketball for four years. My communication skills have expanded through being a Model U.N. and Global Issues Network member.

This small paragraph on her extracurricular activities links them clearly to her intended area of study, both in terms of related content and necessary skills. From this, the reader gains the impression that this student has a wide range of relevant interests.

When I attend university, I not only hope to become a veterinarian, but also a leader in the field. I would like to research different aspects of veterinary medicine, such as diseases. As a vet, I would like to help work towards the One Health goal; allowing the maintenance of public health security. This affects vets because we are the ones working closely with animals every day.

In the conclusion, she ties things together and looks ahead to her career. By introducing the concept of ‘One Health’, she also shows once again her knowledge of the field she is applying to.

UCAS PERSONAL STATEMENT EXAMPLE FOR AERONAUTICAL ENGINEERING

Standing inside a wind tunnel is not something every 17 year old aspires to, but for me the opportunity to do so last year confirmed my long-held desire to become a mechanical engineer.

This introduction is efficient and provides a clear direction for the personal statement. Though it might seem that it should be more detailed, for a student applying to study a course that requires limited extended writing, being this matter-of-fact works fine.

I enjoy the challenge of using the laws of Physics, complemented with Mathematical backing, in the context of everyday life, which helps me to visualise and understand where different topics can be applied. I explored the field of aeronautics, specifically in my work experience with Emirates Aviation University. I explored how engineers apply basic concepts of air resistance and drag when I had the opportunity to experiment with the wind tunnel, which allowed me to identify how different wing shapes behave at diverse air pressures. My interest with robotics has led me to take up a year-long internship with MakersBuilders, where I had the chance to explore physics and maths on a different plane. During my internship I educated young teenagers on a more fundamental stage of building and programming, in particular when we worked on building a small robot and programmed the infra-red sensor in order to create self-sufficient movement. This exposure allowed me to improve my communication and interpersonal skills.

In this paragraph, the student adds evidence to the initial assertion that he enjoys seeing how Physics relates to everyday life. The descriptions of the work experiences he has had not only show his commitment to the subject, but also enable him to bring in some academic content to demonstrate his understanding of engineering and aeronautics.

I’m interested in the mechanics side of Maths such as circular motion and projectiles; even Pure Maths has allowed me to easily see patterns when working and solving problems in Computer Science. During my A Level Maths and Further Maths, I have particularly enjoyed working with partial fractions as they show how reverse methodology can be used to solve addition of fractions, which ranges from simple addition to complex kinematics. ­­­Pure Maths has also enabled me to better understand how 3D modelling works with ­­­the use of volumes of revolution, especially when I learned how to apply the calculations to basic objects like calculating the amount of water in a bottle or the volume of a pencil.

This paragraph brings in the academic content at school, which is important when applying for a subject such as engineering. This is because the admissions reader needs to be reassured that the student has covered the necessary foundational content to be able to cope with Year 1 of this course.

In my Drone Club I have been able to apply several methods of wing formation, such as the number of blades used during a UAS flight. Drones can be used for purposes such as in Air-sea Rescue or transporting food to low income countries. I have taken on the responsibility of leading and sharing my skills with others, particularly in the Drone Club where I gained the certification to fly drones. In coding club, I participated in the global Google Code competition related to complex, real-life coding, such as a program that allows phones to send commands to another device using Bluetooth. My Cambridge summer course on math and engineering included the origins of a few of the most important equations and ideologies from many mathematicians such as, E=mc2 from Einstein, I also got a head start at understanding matrices and their importance in kinematics. Last summer, I completed a course at UT Dallas on Artificial Intelligence and Machine Learning. The course was intuitive and allowed me to understand a different perspective of how robots and AI will replace humans to do complex and labour-intensive activities, customer service, driverless cars and technical support.

In this section, he demonstrates his commitment to the subject through a detailed list of extracurricular activities, all linked to engineering and aeronautics. The detail he gives about each one links to the knowledge and skills needed to succeed in these subjects at university.

I have represented Model UN as a delegate and enjoyed working with others to solve problems. For my Duke of Edinburgh Award, I partook in several activities such as trekking and playing the drums. I enjoy music and I have reached grade 3 for percussion. I have also participated in a range of charitable activities, which include assisting during Ramadan and undertaking fun-runs to raise money for cancer research.

As with the introduction, this is an efficient use of language, sharing a range of activities, each of which has taught him useful skills. The conclusion that follows is similarly efficient and to the point.

I believe that engineering is a discipline that will offer me a chance to make a tangible difference in the world, and I am certain I will enjoy the process of integrating technology with our everyday life.

UCAS PERSONAL STATEMENT EXAMPLE FOR ECONOMICS AND SOCIAL POLICY

Applying for a joint honours course presents a particular challenge of making the case that you are interested in the first subject, the second subject and (often overlooked) the combination of the two. In this example, the applicant uses her own academic studies and personal experiences to make her case.

I usually spend my summer breaks in Uttar Pradesh, India working at my grandparents’ NGO which produces bio-fertilizers for the poor. While working, I speak to many of the villagers in the nearby villages like Barokhar and Dharampur and have found out about the various initiatives the Government has taken to improve the production of wheat and rice. I understand the hardships they undergo and speaking to them has shown me the importance of Social Policy and the role the government plays in improving the lives of people and inspired me to pursue my university studies in this field.

In the introduction, this applicant explains where her interlinking experiences come from: she has personal experiences demonstrating how economics impacts the most vulnerable in society. In doing so, she shows the admissions reader that she has a deep interest in this combination and can move on to discussing each subject in turn.

My interest in these areas has been driven by the experiences I had at high school and beyond. I started attending Model United Nations in the 9th grade and have been to many conferences, discussing problems like the water crisis and a lack of sustainability in underdeveloped countries. These topics overlapped with my study of economics and exciting classroom discussions on what was going on how different events would impact economies, for instance how fluctuations in oil prices will affect standards of living. Studying Economics has expanded  my knowledge about how countries are run and how macroeconomic policies shape the everyday experiences of individuals.

Unusually, this applicant does not go straight into her classroom experiences but instead uses one of her extracurricular activities (Model United Nations) in her first paragraph. For students applying for subjects that are not often taught at school (Social Policy in this example), this can be a good idea, as it allows you to bring in material that you have self-studied to explain why you are capable of studying each subject at university. Here, she uses MUN discussions to show she understands some topics in social policy that are impacting the world.

By taking up history as a subject in Grade 11 and 12, I have seen the challenges that people went through in the past, and how different ideas gained momentum in different parts of the world such as the growth of communism in Russia and China and how it spread to different countries during the Cold War. I learned about the different roles that governments played in times of hardships such as that which President Roosevelt’s New Deal played during the Great Depression. From this, I gained analytical skills by scrutinizing how different social, political and economic forces have moulded societies in the past.

In this paragraph, she then takes the nearest possible class to her interest in Social Policy and draws elements from it to add to her case for Social Policy. Taking some elements from her history classes enables her to add some content to this statement, before linking to the topic of economics.

To explore my interest in Economics, I interned at Emirates National Bank of Dubai, one of the largest banks in the Middle East, and also at IBM. At Emirates NBD, I undertook a research project on Cash Management methods in competitor banks and had to present my findings at the end of the internship. I also interned at IBM where I had to analyze market trends and fluctuations in market opportunity in countries in the Middle East and Africa. I had to find relations between GDP and market opportunity and had to analyze how market opportunity could change over the next 5 years with changing geo-political situations. I have also attended Harvard University’s Youth Lead the Change leadership conference where I was taught how to apply leadership skills to solve global problems such as gender inequality and poverty.

Economics is explored again through extracurriculars, with some detail added to the general statement about the activities undertaken during this work experience. Though the level of academics here is a little thin because this student’s high school did not offer any classes in Economics, she does as well as she can to bring in academic content.

I have partaken in many extra-curricular activities which have helped me develop the skills necessary for this course. Being a part of the Press Club at school gave me an opportunity to hone my talent for the written word and gave me a platform to talk about global issues. Volunteering at a local library taught me how to be organized. I developed research and analytical skills by undertaking various research projects at school such as the sector-wide contribution of the Indian economy to the GDP in the previous year. As a member of the Business and Economic Awareness Council at school, I was instrumental in organizing many economics-based events such as the Business Fair and Innovation Mela. Being part of various Face to Faith conferences has provided me with an opportunity to interact with students in Sierra Leone, India and Korea and understand global perspectives on issues like malaria and human trafficking.

The extracurricular activities are revisited here, with the first half of this paragraph showing how the applicant has some transferable skills from her activities that will help her with this course. She then revisits her interest in the course studies, before following up with a closing section that touches on her career goals:

The prospect of pursuing these two subjects is one that I eagerly anticipate and I look forward to meeting the challenge of university. In the future, I wish to become an economist and work at a think tank where I will be able to apply what I have learnt in studying such an exciting course.

UCAS PERSONAL STATEMENT EXAMPLE FOR HISTORY OF ART & PHILOSOPHY

This applicant is also a joint-honours applicant, and again is applying for a subject that she has not been able to study at school. Thus, bringing in her own interest and knowledge of both subjects is crucial here.

At the age of four, I remember an argument with my mother: I wanted to wear a pink ballerina dress with heels, made for eight-year-olds, which despite my difficulty in staying upright I was determined to wear. My mother persistently engaged in debate with me about why it was not ok to wear this ensemble in winter. After two hours of patiently explaining to me and listening to my responses she convinced me that I should wear something different, the first time I remember listening to reason. It has always been a natural instinct for me to discuss everything, since in the course of my upbringing I was never given a simple yes or no answer. Thus, when I began studying philosophy, I understood fully my passion for argument and dialogue.

This is an unusual approach to start a UCAS Personal Statement, but it does serve to show how this student approaches the world and why this combination of subjects might work for her. Though it could perhaps be drawn out more explicitly, here she is combining an artistic issue (her clothes) with a philosophical concern (her debate with her mother) to lead the reader into the case she is making for admission into this program.

This was first sparked academically when I was introduced to religious ethics; having a fairly Christian background my view on religion was immature. I never thought too much of the subject as I believed it was just something my grandparents did. However, when opened up to the arguments about god and religion, I was inclined to argue every side. After research and discussion, I was able to form my own view on religion without having to pick a distinctive side to which theory I would support. This is what makes me want to study philosophy: it gives an individual personal revelation towards matters into which they may not have given too much thought to.

There is some good content here that discusses the applicant’s interest in philosophy and her own motivation for this subject, though there is a lack of academic content here.

Alongside this, taking IB Visual Arts HL has opened my artistic views through pushing me out of my comfort zone. Art being a very subjective course, I was forced to choose an opinion which only mattered to me, it had no analytical nor empirical rights or wrongs, it was just my taste in art. From studying the two subjects alongside each other, I found great value, acquiring a certain form of freedom in each individual with their dual focus on personalized opinion and taste in many areas, leading to self- improvement.

In this section, she uses her IB Visual Arts class to explore how her interest in philosophy bleeds into her appreciation of art. Again, we are still awaiting the academic content, but the reader will by now be convinced that the student has a deep level of motivation for this subject. When we consider how rare this combination is, with very few courses for this combination available, the approach to take slightly longer to establish can work.

For this reason, I find the work of Henry Moore fascinating. I am intrigued by his pieces, especially the essence of the ‘Reclining Nude’ model, as the empty holes inflicted on the abstract human body encouraged my enthusiasm for artistic interpretation. This has led me to contemplate the subtlety, complexity and merit of the role of an artist. Developing an art piece is just as complex and refined as writing a novel or developing a theory in Philosophy. For this reason, History of Art conjoins with Philosophy, as the philosophical approach towards an art piece is what adds context to the history as well as purpose behind it.

Finally, we’re given the academic content. Cleverly, the content links both the History of Art and Philosophy together through a discussion of the work of Henry Moore. Finding examples that conjoin the subjects that make up a joint-honours application is a great idea and works well here.

Studying Philosophy has allowed me to apply real life abstractions to my art, as well as to glean a deeper critical analysis of art in its various mediums. My IB Extended Essay examined the 1900s Fauve movement, which made a huge breakthrough in France and Hungary simultaneously. This was the first artistic movement which was truly daring and outgoing with its vivid colours and bold brush strokes. My interest expanded to learning about the Hungarian artists in this movement led by Henri Matisse. Bela Czobel was one of the few who travelled to France to study but returned to Hungary, more specifically Nagybanya, to bestow what he had learned.

Again in this paragraph, the author connects the subjects. Students who are able to undertake a research project in their high school studies (such as the IB Extended Essay here, or the A Level Extended Project or AP Capstone) can describe these in their UCAS personal statements, as this level of research in an area of academic study can enliven and add depth to the writing, as is the case here.

As an international student with a multicultural background, I believe I can adapt to challenging or unfamiliar surroundings with ease. I spent two summers working at a nursery in Hungary as a junior Assistant Teacher, where I demonstrated leadership and teamwork skills that I had previously developed through commitment to sports teams. I was a competitive swimmer for six years and have represented my school internationally as well as holding the school record for 100m backstroke. I was elected Deputy Head of my House, which further reflects my dedication, leadership, teamwork and diligence.

As in the previous examples, this statement gives a good overview of the applicant’s extracurricular activities, with a mention of skills that will be beneficial to her studies at university. She then concludes with a brief final sentence:

I hope to carry these skills with me into my university studies, allowing me to enrich my knowledge and combine my artistic and philosophical interests.

UCAS PERSONAL STATEMENT EXAMPLE FOR LIBERAL ARTS

A good range of UK universities now offer courses called ‘Liberal Arts’ (or similar titles such as ‘Flexible Combined Honours’), which allows students to study a broader topic of study–perhaps combining three or four subjects–than is typically available in the UK system.

This presents a challenge in the personal statement, as within the 47 line / 4000 character limit, the applicant will have to show academic interest and knowledge in a range of subjects while also making the case to be admitted for this combined programme of study.

As a child I disliked reading; however, when I was 8, there was one particular book that caught my attention: The Little Prince. From that moment onwards, my love for literature was ignited and I had entered into a whirlwind of fictional worlds. While studying and analysing the classics from The Great Gatsby to Candide, this has exposed me to a variety of novels. My French bilingualism allowed me to study, in great depth, different texts in their original language. This sparked a new passion of mine for poetry, and introduced me to the works of Arthur Rimbaud, who has greatly influenced me. Through both reading and analysing poetry I was able to decipher its meaning. Liberal Arts gives me the opportunity to continue to study a range of texts and authors from different periods in history, as well as related aspects of culture, economy and society.

Here we have a slightly longer than usual opening paragraph, but given the nature of the course being applied for this works well. A personal story segueing from literature to modern languages to history and cultural studies shows that this student has a broad range of interests within the humanities and thus is well-suited to this course of study.

Liberal Arts is a clear choice for me. Coming from the IB International Baccalaureate Diploma programme I have studied a wide range of subjects which has provided me with a breadth of knowledge. In Theatre, I have adapted classics such as Othello by Shakespeare, and playing the role of moreover acting as Desdemona forced me to compartmentalise her complex emotions behind the early-modern English text. Studying History has taught me a number of skills; understanding the reasons behind changes in society, evaluating sources, and considering conflicting interpretations. From my interdisciplinary education I am able to critically analyse the world around me. Through studying Theory of Knowledge, I have developed high quality analysis using key questions and a critical mindset by questioning how and why we think and why. By going beyond the common use of reason, I have been able to deepen greaten my understanding and apply my ways of knowing in all subjects; for example in science I was creative in constructing my experiment (imagination) and used qualitative data (sense perception).

Students who are taking the IB Diploma, with its strictures to retain a broad curriculum, are well-suited to the UK’s Liberal Arts courses, as they have had practice seeing the links between subjects. In this paragraph, the applicant shows how she has done this, linking content from one subject to skills developed in another, and touching on the experience of IB Theory of Knowledge (an interdisciplinary class compulsory for all IB Diploma students) to show how she is able to see how different academic subjects overlap and share some common themes.

Languages have always played an important role in my life. I was immersed into a French nursery even though my parents are not French speakers. I have always cherished the ability to speak another language; it is something I have never taken for granted, and it is how I individualise myself. Being bilingual has allowed me to engage with a different culture. As a result, I am more open minded and have a global outlook. This has fuelled my desire to travel, learn new languages and experience new cultures. This course would provide me with the opportunity to fulfil these desires. Having written my Extended Essay in French on the use of manipulative language used by a particular character from the French classic Dangerous Liaisons I have had to apply my skills of close contextual reading and analysing to sculpt this essay. These skills are perfectly applicable to the critical thinking that is demanded for the course.

Within the humanities, this student has a particular background that makes her stand out, having become fluent in French while having no French background nor living in a French-speaking country. This is worth her exploring to develop her motivation for a broad course of study at university, which she does well here.

Studying the Liberal Arts will allow me to further my knowledge in a variety of fields whilst living independently and meeting people from different backgrounds. The flexible skills I would achieve from obtaining a liberal arts degree I believe would make me more desirable for future employment. I would thrive in this environment due to my self discipline and determination. During my school holidays I have undertaken working in a hotel as a chambermaid and this has made me appreciate the service sector in society and has taught me to work cohesively with others in an unfamiliar environment. I also took part in a creative writing course held at Keats House, where I learnt about romanticism. My commitment to extracurricular activities such as varsity football and basketball has shown me the importance of sportsmanship and camaraderie, while GIN (Global Issue Networking) has informed me of the values of community and the importance for charitable organisations.

The extracurricular paragraph here draws out a range of skills the student will apply to this course. Knowing that taking a broader range of subjects at a UK university requires excellent organizational skills, the student takes time to explain how she can meet these, perhaps going into slightly more detail than would be necessary for a single-honours application to spell out that she is capable of managing her time well. She then broadens this at the end by touching on some activities that have relevance for her studies.

My academic and personal preferences have always led me to the Liberal Arts; I feel as though the International Baccalaureate, my passion and self-discipline have prepared me for higher education. From the academics, extracurriculars and social aspects, I intend to embrace the entire experience of university.

In the final section, the candidate restates how she matches this course.

Overall, you can see how the key factor in a UCAS statement is the academic evidence, with students linking their engagement with a subject to the course of study that they are applying to. Using the courtroom exercise analogy, the judge here should be completely convinced that the case has been made, and will, therefore issue an offer of admittance to that university.

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Software Engineering Personal Statement Examples

Use our Software Engineering Personal Statement Examples as guides to writing your own. Make sure after writing to check and proofread before submitting your application to UCAS . The following examples can be used as guidance only. 

Undergraduate Software Engineering Personal Statement Example

As a prospective student of basic programming at Mount Mill Hill International School in the UK, I am excited to apply for the program and pursue my passion for software development. With a strong background in computer science and experience in the field, I am eager to continue my education and develop my skills in software engineering.

My interest in software engineering began in secondary school, where I was first introduced to programming and developed a love for problem-solving and creating innovative solutions. Since then, I have pursued this interest through my studies and internships, gaining experience in a variety of programming languages and development environments.

One of the things that I enjoy most about software engineering is the opportunity to solve complex problems and create innovative solutions. I have a strong aptitude for problem-solving and enjoy working in a team environment to develop creative solutions to challenging problems.

I am particularly interested in studying Software Engineering at the University of Leeds because of the program’s focus on practical, hands-on experience and the use of cutting-edge technologies. I am confident that the program’s curriculum and resources will provide me with the skills and knowledge I need to succeed in the field of software engineering.

In addition to my passion for software development, I also have excellent communication and collaboration skills. I believe that effective communication and teamwork are essential for success in software engineering, and I am excited to work with other students and industry professionals as part of the program.

My long-term goal is to graduate from the University of Leeds with a degree in Software Engineering and begin a successful career in the field. I am excited about the opportunity to study at your university and contribute to the success of your program. Thank you for considering my application.

Recommended for reading:

  • The Best Cambridge Colleges for Engineering
  • The Best Oxford Colleges for Engineering

Postgraduate Software Engineering Personal Statement Example

As a recent graduate of the University of King’s College with a Bachelor’s degree in Computer Science, I am excited to apply for the open software engineering position at your company. Throughout my studies, I have developed a strong foundation in software development, as well as a passion for the latest technologies and trends in the field.

In addition to my academic background, I have also gained practical experience through internships at Yukos and KMPG. These internships provided me with hands-on experience in software development and the opportunity to work on real-world projects. I have experience with a variety of programming languages, including Java and Python, and am always eager to learn new tools and technologies.

In addition to my technical skills, I also have excellent communication and collaboration skills. I am a strong believer in the importance of effective communication and collaboration within a team, and I have experience working in both agile and waterfall development environments.

My long-term goal is to continue to grow and develop as a software engineer, and to take on increasingly complex and challenging projects. I am excited about the opportunity to join your team and contribute to the success of your company. Thank you for considering my application.

How to Write Software Engineering Personal Statement

A personal statement for software engineering is a document that outlines your interests, experiences, and goals in the field of software engineering. It is often used as part of a job application or as part of a university application.

In the first paragraph , it is important to introduce yourself and provide some background information about your education and experiences. This might include information about any relevant degrees or certifications you have, as well as any work experience you have in the field of software engineering.

In the second paragraph , you can expand on your interest in software engineering and why you are drawn to this field. This might include discussing your passion for technology and problem-solving, as well as any specific areas of interest within the field of software engineering.

In the third paragraph , you can discuss any specific skills or experiences that make you a strong candidate for a career in software engineering. This might include technical skills such as programming languages you are proficient in, as well as soft skills such as collaboration and communication.

In the fourth paragraph , you can discuss your goals and aspirations in the field of software engineering. This might include your long-term career goals, as well as any specific projects or challenges that you are excited to work on. Finally, in the fifth paragraph , you can provide a brief summary of your personal statement and reiterate your interest in and passion for software engineering. This is a great opportunity to highlight why you are a strong candidate for a career in this field and why you would be a valuable addition to a software engineering team.

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Oxbridge-Mind

10 Top Oxford Engineering Personal Statement Tips

What makes you different from all the other applicants? Your engineering Oxford personal statement is a crucial component in your university application. It gives you a chance to articulate why you’re interested in Engineering and to distinguish yourself from other applicants. Additionally, it offers the interviewer a focal point to base discussions about your personality, interests and deduce your commitment to the subject you’re applying for. To help guide you through the process, our Oxford application experts have compiled a list of top 10 tips for everything you should do and not do for your Oxbridge Engineering Personal Statement for the 2024/25 application cycle. 

engineering Oxford personal statement

Table of Contents

The Engineering Science programme is a four-year course, leading to the degree of Master of Engineering. The first two years are devoted to topics which Oxford believes all Engineering undergraduates should study. In the third and fourth years there is scope for specialisation into one of six branches of engineering. These include Biomedical, Chemical, Civil, Electrical, Information and Mechanical. Decisions about which of these will be your specialisation can be deferred until the third year.

All candidates must take the Physics Aptitude Test (PAT) as part of their application. Find out more about this here .

For the first time, for entry in October 2023 Oxford offered a Foundation Year route to access Engineering Science. So if you’re interested in studying Engineering Science but your personal or educational circumstances have meant you are unlikely to achieve the grades, then choosing to apply for Engineering Science with a Foundation Year might be the course for you. More information can be accessed here .

oxbridge personal statements

Top 5 Tips for an Oxford Engineering Personal Statement

1. tell your story.

Your story will be what makes your UCAS personal statement stand out. In your Engineering personal statement Oxford admissions tutors will be looking for you to outline the reasons as to why you want to study Engineering, along with relevant experience and skills for the subject. Some ways to do this include thinking about your plans for the future, why you have decided to pursue Engineering, and any relevant experience you have.

2. Choosing a discipline

Oxford offers six branches of Engineering- (Biomedical, Chemical, Civil, Electrical, Information and Mechanical). While you can still write about your interest in Engineering more broadly, both academically and as a professional field, you can also narrow down on your chosen discipline and discuss some skills and experiences specific to this branch. This will show the Oxford Admissions tutors that you have a clear plan for your studies and where you hope your degree will take you in your career.

engineering personal statement Oxford

3. Read around the subject you’re applying for

Students who carry out extra-curricular work are more impressive to Oxford admissions tutors than those who do not. Podcasts such as ‘ The Engineering Commons ’, or those produced by the University of Oxford itself are useful for students. Additionally, reading research, such as that from ‘Engineering Science and Technology, an International Journal’ could act as a talking point at an interview.

4. Proofread & read aloud your work

Once you’re happy with the content of your engineering Oxford personal statement draft, check it, check it and check it again! Certain people such as a current Oxford student, a teacher of Engineering, or an Engineering student would be useful in proofreading your work as a fresh pair of eyes can pick up improvements that you may have glossed over.

5. What makes you suitable

In your engineering personal statement Oxford tutors will also be looking for what qualities you possess that means they should grant you a place on an Oxford Engineering course. Think back to any relevant skills or experience you have undertaken on placements and link these to your future career. Relevant skills would include problem-solving and teamwork, as well as more.

Oxbridge Interview Tips Questions Tutoring

Top 5 things to AVOID for your Oxford Engineering Personal Statement

1. writing a list of achievements.

Avoid listing things for the sake of it. Make sure each point in your Oxford Engineering personal statement is relevant and backed up by evidence. Expand on statements in order to explain why you’re an ideal candidate. It will look more impressive if you are able to reflect on your experience because it will show that you have learnt and understood a little of the Engineering speciality.

2. Write anything that isn’t true

Don’t exaggerate. You may be asked to provide evidence of your stated achievements, or if you are interviewed you may be asked detailed questions about things you’ve mentioned. It will reflect badly on you if you are asked questions about an event that didn’t happen, so don’t exaggerate for the sake of trying to impress the Oxford admissions tutors.

3. Copying other people’s personal statements

Don’t plagiarise. Do not copy someone else’s UCAS personal statement or use something you have found on the internet. UCAS uses software to check every personal statement for plagiarism. Not only will this reflect badly on you, but it won’t sell your personal statement as being authentic.

4. Not reflecting on or justifying your point

Write succinctly and explain points without repeating yourself. Don’t tell the admissions tutor what they already know – instead, expand on how you’ve acquired certain skills and why they’re important. Remember, quality is always better than quantity- it’s better to expand on a few points than to list every point you can without going into detail.

5. Don’t sound unprofessional

Steer clear of slang, clichés and quotes. It will sound repetitive to Admissions Tutors to hear about how students are “passionate” about their subject or that they have a “thirst for knowledge”. Write about your personal experience with your Engineering journey, and allow the Admissions Tutor to do the rest.

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What's on this page?

What is a personal statement, why has the personal statement format changed, the new personal statement questions, what universities and colleges are looking for.

Your personal statement is a chance to get noticed for the unique talents and experiences you have. It’s an important part of the application process as it’s an opportunity to talk about yourself and your passions, outside of your grades.

We’re going to talk you through how to make the most of the 4000 characters and write a personal statement that stands out.

You may have heard announcements that the personal statement has changed from one longer piece of text to three separate questions. We wanted to make the process easier and more structured for you to really shine in your application. We know how daunting it can be to be faced with a blank page, so the new questions should help give you a starting point to shout all about you and your achievements, helping you to give strong examples to prove you're a good fit for your chosen course.

The three questions will help you to scaffold your answers and ensure you include exactly what universities and colleges want to see, to help you succeed in your applications. Each answer will have a minimum character count of 350 characters, which is clearly labelled on the question boxes, along with an overall character counter, so you can keep track. The 4000 overall character limit (including spaces) remains the same, as does what you're expected to include. 

Question 1: Why do you want to study this course or subject?

This is your opportunity to showcase your passion and knowledge of your chosen subject area and to demonstrate to universities and colleges why it’s a good fit for you and your future ambitions.

Examples of what you might talk about here are:

Have you been inspired by a key role model or moment in your life? Maybe it’s a subject you love and want to pursue further. We’re all driven by something and it’s important to talk about how yours has led you to this course or subject area.

Perhaps there’s a particular subject area you’ve researched and can’t wait to learn more about. A book or subject expert doing great things that have sparked your interest? Universities and colleges want to see you’ve done your research so they can be confident this is something you will enjoy and excel in. Universities and colleges want to see you have done your research so they can be confident this is something you will enjoy and excel in. This is a great place to highlight super-curricular activities as evidence of curiosity and interest in the subject outside of the classroom. 

If you already have a particular profession in mind you could talk about how you’ll use this to launch your career. If you don’t, think about what’s important to you and your future, and how the knowledge gained from your chosen course(s) will help you achieve this.

Question 2: How have your qualifications and studies helped you to prepare for this course or subject?

This is your chance to shout about the relevant or transferable skills you’ve gained from your formal education and highlight your understanding of how they will help you succeed in this subject area.

  • How your studies or training relate to your chosen course(s) or subject area This could be current or previous studies within a school, college, training provider, or even a short online university course – any form of formal education. The main thing here is to focus on what’s most recent and relevant to your chosen course(s). If you are no longer in full-time education, use section three to talk about your experiences since leaving.
  • What relevant or transferable skills you have that make you a great candidate Maybe there are a couple of subjects that have helped you develop a core set of skills required for your chosen course(s). Or, a particular module that helped you understand where your interests and strengths lie.
  • Any relevant educational achievements Universities and colleges will see your grades elsewhere on your application so don’t waste time talking about these. Consider accomplishments like winning a school or national competition, serving as a student ambassador or team captain, or landing the lead role in a play.

Question 3: What else have you done to prepare outside of education, and why are these experiences useful?

This is your chance to talk about any other activities you have undertaken outside of your formal education or personal experiences which further demonstrate your suitability for the course. This section is likely to be highly personal to you and anything you do include should reflect on why you’re including it.

  • Work experience, employment, or volunteering Whether it’s in-person work experience at your local school or virtual work experience through  Springpod , or volunteering at a dog shelter, the key thing here is for you to reflect on your experiences and the skills gained relevant to your chosen course.
  • Personal life experiences or responsibilities Is there a situation you’ve personally overcome that has influenced your decision? Are there responsibilities such as caring for a family member that has helped you develop essential qualities for the course like resilience and empathy?
  • Hobbies and any extracurricular or outreach activities Think sports, reading, community work, summer schools – any activities outside of your studies that help further showcase why you’d make a great student.
  • Achievements outside of school or college This could be a position of responsibility such as captain for your local club, a music, competition you won, or a qualification you’ve attained outside of the classroom.
  • Post-education activities If you’re no longer in full-time education, it’s a good idea to detail what you’ve been doing since and how this has equipped you with the skills and qualities for your desired course(s).

When reading your personal statement, admissions tutors are looking for evidence that you’re passionate and knowledgeable about the subject area you’re looking to study further and have the relevant skills, experiences, and potential to be a great student. 

Helen Bousfield-Myatt

New personal statements - students.

ucas personal statement engineering sample

The new personal statement

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Mechanical Engineering

Author: robin, applied in: winter 2016, university offers: bath, leeds, lancaster, birmingham.

I would like to study mechanical engineering because the idea of being able to apply theoretical knowledge to solve physical problems appeals to me - this is demonstrated through my choices of A-level. My motivation to finish a particularly challenging algorithm in computing or solve a mentally demanding maths equation comes from the huge sense of accomplishment upon completion.

I have recently been learning about the basic function of internal combustion engines in my physics lessons and this spurred a curiosity in this topic that prompted me to do further voluntary study in the subject. I was amazed to find that the average efficiency of an engine is only between 20 and 30 percent; this figure reflects shameful waste of finite resources. After reading MacKay's 'Sustainable Energy - Without the Hot Air', I realised the statistic represents a microcosm of the huge inefficiencies in daily human activities. This fact has been highly influential in my decision to pursue a career in engineering, as I believe that by taking this route I can help to accelerate progression towards a sustainable future. The variety of challenges that a mechanical engineer faces is something that attracts me to this subject, with each new project demanding a different way of thinking about a problem. Also, a course that would fill gaps in my knowledge of fluid dynamics is an exciting prospect to me as I have a particular interest in wind power - the most abundant source of renewable energy in the UK.

I enjoy all my A-level subjects, particularly the mechanics modules in maths and physics, as they both help to predict outcomes of day-to-day real life situations through logical thinking and give explanations as to why they happen. Studying computer science has taught me valuable programming techniques that are increasingly applicable within the engineering industry. My A-levels have also enhanced my analytical skills; a trait that is of emphasised importance in Petroski's 'To Engineer is Human'. Reading this book has deepened my understanding of what an engineering career would entail and taught me about how engineers learn from their mistakes. For example the Tacoma Narrows bridge design not taking into account the torsional vibration mode caused by the wind and whilst causing destruction, it taught us about the necessity of resonance and aerodynamics considerations in structural design. Throughout my life I've always striven to broaden my knowledge of engineering - whether it is through online research, reading books or talking to my family members whose careers engineering is based upon. Last summer I visited the Unimog museum in Germany, this gave me an insight into how engineered products evolve - with each new incarnation of the design addressing weaknesses in the predecessor's and adding innovative features made available by the development of new technologies.

Complementary to my academic life, I'm a keen rugby player and represent my school in the first team. From 8 years of experience on and off the pitch with my teammates I have gained invaluable communication and teamwork skills; attributes that are essential in an engineering career. I'm also an enthusiastic mountain biker. From this pastime I have learnt about the considerations that need to be made when making decisions about materials used for mending or upgrading different bike components. As well as sporting endeavours, I have a part-time job at a swimming pool where I work about 20 hours per week. I've developed excellent time management skills, as it has been imperative for me to do so in order to maintain a high level of academic achievement.

I think I am suited to a mechanical engineering degree as I am hard working and motivated by the prospect of a fulfilling career in a field that I'm passionate about. I believe that skills I've acquired and developed both in and out of the classroom have prepared me suitably for a successful and rewarding time in higher education.

Please note UCAS will detect any form of plagiarism. PSE and its contributors do not take any responsibility for the way in which personal statements are used.

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  • Engineering personal statements

Aerospace engineering degree personal statement example (1a) University of Manchester offer

This is a real personal statement written by a student for their university application. It might help you decide what to include in your own. There are lots more examples in our collection of sample personal statements . 

From the Wright Flyer to today's Airbus A-380 and Boeing 787 Dreamliner, the development of the Aviation industry has been immense. Yet, there are still many contemporary issues facing the engineers of today; I aspire to be part of this rapidly advancing industry. Studying the engineering behind one of man's greatest achievements would be an educational challenge I would relish and it would build upon my experiences in the field. I am eager to broaden my mind on the applications of the engineering practices followed in the aeronautical industry. I am fascinated by discovering how different components function together.

I studied Engineering at secondary school and completed a two week work experience course at Tameside Metropolitan Borough Council's civil engineering department which gave me an insight into engineering practices and procedure. In my A2 Physics coursework, I chose to investigate how variations in the design of an aircraft's aerofoil affect its performance. Furthermore, I am a student member of the Royal Aeronautical Society which enables me to read the Aerospace International Journal, and I am a member of the Lancashire Aero Club. These two organisations increase my knowledge and understanding of a range of aviation operations.

Being a member of the Air Training Corps, I have already gained a lot of knowledge about aircraft: how they perform and the principles of how flight works. I completed a Gliding Scholarship in May 2012 which involved flying nine hours of training flights in a motorised glider (Grob 109b Vigilant) after which I was allowed to complete a solo circuit of the airfield. This was one of the most fulfilling and exciting experiences I have ever had. Also, I completed an engineering work experience course at RAFC Cranwell where I observed engineering training on the Sepecat Jaguar and on-going engineering work on the E3-D Sentry at RAF Waddington. As part of the Air Training Corps, I currently hold the rank of Flight Sergeant; I have the classification of 'Master Air Cadet' and am a qualified Instructor Cadet and first aider. I was selected to be one of only twelve cadets from the entire country to attend a prestigious International Air Cadet Exchange to Canada in the summer of 2012.

In my educational career I have also accomplished a great deal. At secondary school I was elected a Senior Prefect and also Vice Chairman of the School Council, both of which developed my communication skills through a series of public speaking events. I was a peer mentor and I also represented the school on the Local District Assembly. At Sixth Form College I was a member of the Maths Club where I helped low ability year seven pupils with their maths skills. I am Deputy Head Boy and as part of this role I am the sixth form representative on the School Council. This enables me to express my views, and the views of others, in a formal environment whilst also taking into consideration the opinions of others.

In my spare time I enjoy engaging in the athletic event of pole vault. This year I have competed for my club, Sale Harriers, in many events including the British Athletics League Premiership. I won the Greater Manchester Schools Athletic Championships and was selected to represent Greater Manchester at the English Schools Athletics Championships. I volunteer at a local hospice charity shop which raises funds to provide specialist palliative care for sufferers of life changing illnesses. Engineering is a profound application of my enjoyment of maths and physics, and combined with my interest in aviation, the field of aeronautical engineering would be an exciting amalgamation of my academic and vocational interests.

Universities Applied to:

  • University of Manchester (Aerospace Engineering BEng) - Offer (AAB) Firm
  • Brunel University (Aviation Engineering) - Offer (ABB) Insurance
  • University of Leicester (Aerospace Engineering) - Offer (BBB)
  • University of Salford (Aeronautical Engineering) - Offer (280 points)
  • Loughborough University (Aeronautical Engineering) - Offer (AAB)
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Personal Statement Examples: Singapore Students Admitted to Top UK and US Universities

Personal Statement Examples: Singapore Students Admitted to Top UK and US Universities

Personal statements are an essential aspect of each application. It helps demonstrate your academic interests and passion, highlight your relevant experiences, and showcase your unique identity. However, the approach is different for universities in the UK and US and knowing these differences is vital when preparing your personal statement. To guide you, we’ve included several successful personal statements and sought the expertise of Jamie Beaton , CEO of Crimson Education, to review and analyse these essays. Jamie Beaton was accepted into all 25 of the world’s top universities including Harvard, Yale, Stanford, and Cambridge. Read on to discover what makes a strong personal statement!

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How important is the personal statement?

The key thing to note with your personal statement is that it’s your chance to convey something else about yourself in your application . It’s an opportunity to sell yourself and connect with the admissions officer that is reading your essay!

If you’re applying to the UK , your personal statement should illustrate your skills and expertise in the chosen field while emphasising your passion and commitment for it . A UK personal statement is typically more academically-focused and universities are primarily interested in your academic achievements and a genuine demonstration of interest in the selected courses.

For the US , your essay should adopt a more personal and introspective angle and highlight areas like your personal growth, intellectual curiosity, and leadership development . Here, there is greater room for storytelling and creativity and it should portray a more holistic view of yourself.

Applications to both countries are made on two separate platforms: UCAS for the UK and Common Application or the university’s own platform for the US. Be sure to check out their respective websites for further information about the personal statement.

The UK personal statement

A good UK personal statement is direct and precise and it should show that the student is well prepared to study in their chosen discipline. Since the UK places a strong emphasis on your academics, try to include examples which are impactful and relevant. Your extracurricular activities, readings, and accomplishments should ideally be relevant to your chosen discipline.

With a 4,000 character limit , it’s important to strategise and remain factual and straightforward. It’s easy to lose focus in your essay as UCAS personal statements are typically open-ended with no prompts provided. As such, refrain from listing all your achievements and activities and instead dive deep into your academic journey.

Successful personal statements from students in Singapore admitted to top UK universities

Uk essay #1.

Undergoing treatment for my impacted maxillary canine tooth gave me a profound appreciation for dentistry. As I was treated by a multi-disciplinary team, I witnessed their skilfulness during each treatment stage, ultimately saving my tooth and relieving my jaw-aches. Gaining an anterior tooth in my dental arch also improved my self-esteem. The relationships I formed with each member of the team were meaningful, and I realised that as a dentist, I too, could improve patients' oral and mental health, developing similar connections.

Inspired to learn more about dentistry, I shadowed Dr. Shahul Hameed, an experienced general dentist. I observed the maintenance of a dental implant - the planning, execution and patient management. Curious to learn more about implant dentistry, I read up on the fundamentals of dental implants; principles of osseointegration and factors that influence the treatment plan, such as the load-bearing capacity of the implant compared to occlusal forces. Fascinated by dental sciences, I attended 'Discover Dentistry', a course by Sheffield University, where I learnt about current research, such as using cultured cells to assess biocompatibility of prostheses, giving me insight into the exciting future of dentistry. This spurred me to do my own research on the oral health status of the elderly living in care facilities globally. Having learnt about their poor oral health, measured using indices like the O'Leary Plaque and DMFT index, it was interesting to discover how this would greatly improve with routine care.

Another memorable experience involved Dr. Shahul extracting a wisdom tooth from a nervous patient. He explained the treatment plan concisely, making clear the possible risks before gaining her consent, in line with GDC principle 3. Upon completing the procedure, he congratulated her, demonstrating genuine care for the patient. Seeking to emulate his empathy and communication skills, I volunteered with Dementia Singapore. One event involved teaching elderly dementia patients to make lanterns using red packets. Overcoming the language barrier between us, I spoke in both English and Tamil, being understanding and displaying a flexible approach to communication. Currently being in National Service, which I will complete in 2025, I learnt how to provide first aid and CPR, improving my effective communication in emergency situations. Furthermore, I researched 'capgras syndrome,' a mental condition causing delusional misidentifications of people, for an arts competition, Destination Imagination. Acting out its symptoms made me more empathetic towards individuals with health conditions.

I also led a data analytics project, using machine learning to predict the virality of YouTube videos. This involved organising meetings and delegating tasks to my team based on their strengths, ensuring our project's progress. Such leadership skills are vital in managing a dental team. Using machine learning prompted me to consider its potential role in dentistry, in predicting the efficacy of treatments using digitally-stored patient data. I am intrigued about how this relates to patient confidentiality and how to balance patient beneficence with patient data protection. Moreover, I honed my manual dexterity skills by playing fingerstyle guitar pieces in my school's guitar ensemble. I also upload guitar covers online, garnering thousands of views. Additionally, I enjoy solving Rubik's cubes and participate in competitions. Recognising patterns during solves improved my focus - and such attention to detail is needed throughout dental procedures, to ensure successful treatments.

Dentistry is a complex field which requires technical skills and qualities like leadership and communication. Being treated by the skilled dental team has instilled in me fervour for wanting to learn more and mirror their expertise in the future.

Why this essay worked

  • Personal Experience and Inspiration: This essay immediately captures the reader's attention with a personal anecdote. The candidate's own experience with dental treatment not only sparked their interest in dentistry but also provided a deep, genuine appreciation for the field. This makes their motivation to pursue dentistry feel authentic and compelling. The detailed account of how their treatment improved their self-esteem shows a personal connection and understanding of the impact dentists can have on their patients' lives.
  • Demonstrated Commitment and Exploration: The candidate goes beyond expressing interest; they have actively pursued opportunities to learn more about dentistry. Shadowing Dr. Shahul Hameed and attending the 'Discover Dentistry' course at Sheffield University are concrete examples of their proactive approach. They’ve also engaged in self-directed research on oral health among the elderly, demonstrating intellectual curiosity and a commitment to contributing to the field. This level of initiative is precisely what we look for in candidates who will thrive in a rigorous academic environment.
  • Broad Skill Set and Reflective Insight: What stands out is the breadth of skills and experiences the candidate brings. From volunteering with dementia patients to leading a data analytics project and playing guitar, they showcase a range of abilities that are valuable in dentistry. The ability to communicate effectively, demonstrate empathy, lead a team, and possess fine motor skills are all essential qualities for a successful dentist. Moreover, the candidate reflects on how each experience has contributed to their personal growth and how these skills are relevant to their future career. This reflection shows maturity and a deep understanding of the multifaceted nature of dentistry.

UK Essay #2

Throughout my upbringing, I have seen the different cultural traditions of the US, UK, and Singapore; it has been captivating to compare the different focal points from US individualism to collectivism in Singapore. I also explored issues faced by Muslims in America while placing first in a writing competition. Societies are critical in either acting as barriers or support mechanisms, and I am intrigued by the interplay between sociology and the world we have collectively crafted.

Living in a variety of cultures, I have found it compelling to understand how we have been shaped by the cultural patterns and social principles in which we have lived. This has inspired me to explore social action theory. This was fascinating to apply to my own life as I have observed how Singaporeans have used their work ethic and collectivist values to promote 'Tiger Parenting'. Intrigued by the difference in parenting methods between Western and Asian cultures, I engaged with the scholarship of Max Weber's concept that we should interpret the lived experiences of others subjectively rather than objectively, prompting me to further explore the world around us.

I completed the 'Social Context of Mental Health' course at the University of Toronto, and gained insights into the interplay between social contexts and their impact on mental health. This has deepened my understanding of how family, infrastructure, and culture are critical to healthcare. Comparing the traditional values that impeded accessibility to healthcare in the collectivist Asian culture and the Western focus on mental health was fascinating.

Subsequently, I read 'The History of Psychiatry in India' by S. Haque Nizamie, where it can be seen that the Atharva-Veda in ancient Vedic India suggested that mental illness might be linked to divine curses, sin, and witchcraft. The establishment of mental hospitals and more humane approaches were influenced by British psychiatry during the early colonial period. I reflected on the delicate balance required to achieve an optimal societal structure that fosters an individual's mental well-being without jeopardising the rich culture that defines communities.

I am working on a research project with a Ph.D. professor to explore gender performance and what it means to 'do' gender in diverse social contexts. Gender roles are critical in shaping identities and social structures with stereotypes also impacting the experiences of social groups; often, the traditional norms and inequalities make social change seem unattainable. I have explored how gender norms are socially constructed and enforced. I applied this to the motorsport industry, which is traditionally dominated by masculine ideals. Perceived gender roles have affected the perception of female racers, thereby shaping their experiences and limiting their opportunities; in other words, there is a complex interaction between societal expectations, gender norms, and individual experiences. I hope to continue contributing to this discourse, and create positive change.

I have worked as part of the corporate communications team in Singapore's largest real estate company, where I have focused on connecting with a specific part of society by developing articles and podcasts for Gen Z. Beyond this, I was a school prefect and mentor during my A Levels, and aimed to support students academically. I am a passionate dancer having won the East England Grand Final Championships, and I was a captain of a dance team for five years.

Sociology uniquely offers insight into the root causes of issues, namely the challenge of inequality, systematic injustice, and the unravelling of social structures. I hope to pave the way for a more equitable future and challenge ingrained norms by studying this degree. To undertake challenges affecting the twenty-first century, one must have a fundamental understanding of sociology; it informs and dictates the world around us, setting the course and boundaries for change.

  • Rich Cultural Perspective and Personal Connection: This essay stands out due to the student's rich cultural experiences in the US, UK, and Singapore. The ability to draw comparisons between individualism and collectivism, along with a personal engagement in social issues like Muslim experiences in America, gives a genuine and insightful perspective. This multicultural background provides a strong foundation for studying sociology and demonstrates a deep personal connection to the subject matter.
  • Intellectual Curiosity and Academic Engagement: The student's proactive approach to learning is evident through their completion of the 'Social Context of Mental Health' course at the University of Toronto and their independent reading of 'The History of Psychiatry in India.' This shows a clear commitment to understanding complex sociological concepts and their real-world applications. Additionally, their involvement in a research project on gender performance with a Ph.D. professor highlights a high level of academic engagement and a desire to contribute to scholarly discourse.
  • Diverse Extracurricular Involvement and Leadership: The student's extracurricular activities, including working in corporate communications, being a school prefect and mentor, and excelling in dance, demonstrate a well-rounded individual with strong leadership skills. These experiences not only showcase their ability to connect with various social groups but also highlight their dedication to supporting others and fostering community. The blend of academic and extracurricular achievements paints a picture of a dynamic and motivated candidate, well-suited for a sociology degree.

UK Essay #3

When my younger brother was born with Sacrococcygeal Teratoma (SCT), I was told that he was born with a “bunny tail” on his bottom. When I saw the teratoma, the fantasy of having a half-bunny, half-human brother quickly faded, but my curiosity grew. In studying Biomedical Sciences, I hope to feed my childhood curiosity by deepening my knowledge of how the body works, and how it fails. I aspire to connect this knowledge to congenital disorders such as SCT having seen the health and self-esteem issues it can cause. This has inspired me to go further in my acquisition of knowledge and its real-world application.

Research suggests SCT arises from the incomplete migration of primordial germ cells from the yolk sac to the gonadal ridges during embryogenesis. Other sources state that SCT may be due to the failure of the Hensen’s node to regress or due to the residual totipotent stem cells from the Hensen’s node. While ultrasound, amniocentesis or chorionic villus sampling can be used to visualise and diagnose congenital disorders, it is difficult to elucidate abnormal gastrulation, for example, as it occurs very early on in pregnancy. This, along with the multifactorial nature of congenital disorders, impedes on the understanding of conditions that manifest during foetal development. It is this ambiguity that compels me to use my Biomedical education to help further the understanding of congenital disorders like SCT.

I decided to investigate the emerging research on the interplay between our microbiome and health in my Extended Essay (EE). Initially, I wanted to explore the topic of the skin microbiome using biological models. It was difficult to replicate the conditions of the human skin microbiome, but these challenges motivated me to be more creative and proactive in my experimental design. For example, I tried to measure the difference in turbidity between L. casei, B. subtilis, and a solution containing both species, to model the relationship between the commensal skin bacteria S. aureus and S. epidermidis. While this trial did not yield conclusive data, I gained valuable knowledge such as learning the aseptic technique, alongside personal growth through discovering the importance of maintaining morale and motivation through failed trials, developing my independence as a scientist. Additionally, through my EE process, I discovered a passion for research and was fascinated by Zhang et al’s study into the role L. acidophilus S-layer proteins play in the inhibition of pathogenic E. coli. Some of the techniques used by Zhang et al to explore this were gel electrophoresis and mass spectrometry, which I had learnt about in my IB biology and chemistry courses. I had previously only associated these techniques with limited applications such as DNA separation and relative atomic mass. To see their use in a sophisticated manner alongside more complex methods was inspiring. I look forward to cultivating my laboratory skills and becoming proficient in conducting research; allowing me to delve deeper into my understanding of the intricacies within the human body.

I am also passionate about fitness and enjoy applying my knowledge of muscle contraction, the cardiac system, and the muscular system to my fitness journey. In October 2023, I competed in my first endurance fitness race, Hyrox, where I was the youngest of 3500 participants. This pushed me to my limits in the best way, as sticking to a strict training plan while doing the IB was challenging, but showed me the value of consistency, hard work, and teamwork. While I appreciate the rigour of science, I also enjoy learning Spanish, playing the piano, and cooking for friends and family. I hope studying Biomedical Sciences not only fuels my interest in understanding our bodies but also enables me to contribute to its broad positive impact on human health.

  • Personal Connection and Clear Motivation: This essay excels in establishing a strong personal connection to the field of Biomedical Sciences through the story of the student’s brother born with Sacrococcygeal Teratoma (SCT). The vivid and heartfelt description of the brother's condition and its impact on the family provides a compelling narrative that clearly motivates the student’s interest in congenital disorders. This personal anecdote not only makes the essay relatable but also highlights the student's deep-rooted passion for understanding and addressing health issues.
  • Research Experience and Intellectual Curiosity: The student’s detailed account of their Extended Essay (EE) on the microbiome demonstrates a high level of intellectual curiosity and a proactive approach to research. The discussion of experimental design challenges and the use of techniques like gel electrophoresis and mass spectrometry shows a sophisticated understanding of scientific methods. The ability to connect classroom knowledge to real-world applications, despite setbacks, reflects resilience and a genuine enthusiasm for scientific inquiry. This depth of research experience and commitment to learning is highly impressive.
  • Well-Roundedness and Diverse Interests: Beyond academic pursuits, the student showcases a well-rounded personality through their passion for fitness, languages, music, and cooking. Competing in the Hyrox endurance race while managing IB studies highlights qualities such as determination, time management, and teamwork. These extracurricular activities illustrate a balanced and dynamic individual who not only excels in scientific endeavours but also values physical health, cultural engagement, and community. This diverse set of interests and skills makes the student a well-rounded candidate, poised to contribute meaningfully to the field of Biomedical Sciences and beyond.

The US personal statement

A strong US personal statement should provide a unique window into the student’s identity and personality . It helps the university understand who the student is holistically through their experiences, goals, and values. Thus, it’s important to include the experiences that reflect your core beliefs and how they have changed you. Reflecting genuinely and writing authentically is key with a US personal statement.

A 650-word limit is typically imposed on US essays, and you will be required to address a specific prompt . Additionally, most competitive universities also require the submission of supplemental essays . They are meant to support your application and give the admissions officer a deeper understanding of you. It’s important to treat the supplemental essay with the same dedication as your personal statement as they can also influence the admission decision. The word limit for the supplemental essays varies by university, typically ranging from a few words to 650 or more words .

Successful personal statements from students in Singapore admitted to top US universities

For the following essays, observe how their approach is different from a UCAS personal statement.

US Essay #1

The sickening smell of chrysanthemums mixed with incense made me nauseous. I stared at the white pearl placed precariously on my great-grandmother's lips, and tried to identify her through her embalmed face.

It was the 31st of July. I was sixteen, and this was my first time at a funeral wake.

It was in an open space, on a windy day, and I felt suffocated.

Leaving the altar, I joined a sea of faces foreign yet so familiar: distant cousins, uncles, relatives that were my age. We shared the same eyes, but I could not remember ever seeing them.

Suddenly, I was startled by joyous sounds. It was unmistakable — someone was laughing. At a funeral? That can't be right. Looking up, I saw my relatives cracking jokes while folding Joss paper. I was bewildered. How could they still laugh in grief? Curious, I joined them.

They were folding gold ingots from Joss paper, spirit currency at Chinese funerals. I, their new recruit, was handed a stack. Following the movements of my relatives, I kept pace. As we folded the Joss paper in unison, my reservations of displaying anything other than grief subsided. I sensed a tinge of sadness from everyone at the table, and realized they were joking around not because of their lack of sensitivity, but rather because of their empathy. We all shared the same grief that threatened to consume us, so why not share the burden?

We put our despondency into those sheets of paper and shaped them into gifts for offering. The jokes and laughter continued as we filled bag after bag with the paper gold ingots, and I found myself joining in their conversation, consoled by the hopeful atmosphere amidst a somber day. As per tradition, we burned the filled bags. I watched the flames of renewal eat up our hours of labor and consume along with it the worst of our sorrow. The dancing flames were laughing at death, stealing the spotlight in the ballad of goodbyes. Despite all the smoke, I could finally breathe better than before.

"Zai jian," I said with a smile when the fire finally died. In Mandarin, zai means 'again' and jian means 'meet'. When put together they express goodbye but simultaneously imply hope of future encounters. I knew that there would be more of such.

The sweet smell of chrysanthemums now reminds me of new beginnings. Just as the funeral wake brought my family closer than ever, I understood from this experience that goodbyes could also allow for new connections. I later found out that the pearl I had seen on my late great-grandmother's lips symbolizes rebirth: just as the oyster goes through a process of transformation to create the pearl, the memories we have made can grow into something beautiful and valuable. Although I did not realize this before, goodbyes were not any indication of the end, but rather a necessary prelude to metamorphosis.

  • Engaging and Vivid Narrative: This essay immediately captures attention with its vivid and sensory-rich descriptions, starting with the "sickening smell of chrysanthemums mixed with incense." The detailed portrayal of the funeral wake, from the sight of the embalmed face to the act of folding Joss paper, immerses the reader in the experience. This narrative style not only makes the essay compelling but also showcases the student’s ability to convey complex emotions and scenes effectively.
  • Cultural Insight and Personal Growth: The essay offers a deep dive into the student’s cultural heritage, providing a nuanced understanding of Chinese funeral traditions. The student’s initial confusion about laughter at a funeral and their subsequent realisation about empathy and shared grief highlight significant personal growth. This transformation from bewilderment to acceptance and understanding illustrates maturity and a capacity for introspection, which are essential traits for a college applicant.
  • Reflective and Symbolic Conclusion: The conclusion of the essay beautifully ties the entire experience together by reflecting on the symbolism of the pearl and the concept of "zai jian." This reflective insight about goodbyes being a prelude to new beginnings and metamorphosis adds depth to the narrative. The student’s ability to find hope and beauty in a traditionally sombre event demonstrates resilience and an optimistic outlook on life, making this essay both memorable and impactful.

US Essay #2

“And the award goes to...”

My eyes were glued to my computer screen, and my heart was pounding in my chest. Could we do it? Did we do it?

“Team Quasar!”

Allow me to tell you a story of the last few months of the year 2020. Those few months would launch me into the endless space of ideas and possibilities.

It was the Singapore Space Challenge 2021. Teams were required to design a lunar rover mission. It was a highly demanding competition that needed a technical understanding of engineering and space, not to mention the incredibly heavy workload of making a 50-page report and 10-minute video within a few months. Space engineering was completely new to me and my team, and the other teams were mostly university students who were experts in the field. Could we really do it? Are we even qualified for this? I was captivated by the possibilities the challenge could open up, but I second-guessed myself over and over again.

“You know what? Let’s do it.”

And so my team and I signed up for the Singapore Space Challenge 2021.

Over the course of the competition, we were stumbling on our feet. We scoured the internet for research reports and videos to learn about space engineering, from the structure of rover wheels to lunar lander modules. We couldn’t come up with anything that satisfied our high expectations for ourselves, though. So my team and I decided to take a step back. We were at a disadvantage because we knew little about engineering. We were only fifteen, after all.

But what if we turned this constraint into an opportunity? Our lack of experience in the field meant that we weren’t restricted by preconceived notions of what should and shouldn’t be. We could take lots of liberties in technicalities. We could sell a creative idea that takes inspiration from nature to demonstrate its conceptual suitability for its task of excavation. So, we went back to the drawing board. We went back and forth with all sorts of ideas until one of us said the word “worm”. Everyone went quiet but our eyes lit up.

We then came up with our award-winning idea: the lunar excavation worm.

We stopped questioning whether something would work without giving it a try, and went crazy with what our worm could do. Turning ice on the Moon to rocket fuel? Sounds fun! Making it do backflips to climb hills? Let’s do it!

The deadline was approaching, and it was time to get serious. We put our strengths of research, designing and writing together to design a full-fledged robotic worm. After 3 weeks of intense work, we submitted our entry with satisfaction, hope, and inspiration.

When the organizers announced that our team won the Women in STEM Award, I jumped from my seat and screamed. Our WhatsApp group flooded with exclamations in capital letters.

I took away so many lessons those few months. I learned that we should never give up on something because we think we’re not good enough. Instead of asking “why”, how about asking “why not”? Instead of undermining our potential by comparing ourselves to others, why not leverage our own talents to create something that is uniquely ours?

Inspired by our achievement, my team and I continued to take part in similar competitions, coming up with various project ideas from biology experiments in space to autonomous delivery systems.

But what could our ideas do if they just stayed on paper? Physically building a rover is certainly no easy feat, but by combining our knowledge and expertise we could learn in college, I believe we could really bring our beloved worm to life. I hope that by continuing to innovate and create, I will be able to make some contribution, no matter how small, to the scientific community, or to the betterment of people’s lives.

  • Engaging Storytelling and Clear Passion: This essay immediately grabs attention with the suspenseful opening about winning an award, which draws the reader into the narrative. The detailed recounting of the Singapore Space Challenge 2021 is both engaging and inspirational, showcasing the student’s journey from doubt to triumph. This storytelling approach not only makes the essay memorable but also highlights the student’s ability to overcome challenges and achieve remarkable success through perseverance and creativity.
  • Creative Problem-Solving and Teamwork: The student’s description of how their team transformed constraints into opportunities by leveraging their unique perspective is impressive. The innovative idea of the "lunar excavation worm" and the decision to draw inspiration from nature demonstrate a high level of creativity and problem-solving skills. Additionally, the essay emphasises the importance of teamwork, collaboration, and the ability to adapt and think outside the box, which are crucial skills in any field, especially in engineering and science.
  • Reflection and Future Aspirations: The reflective insights gained from the competition, such as asking "why not" instead of "why" and leveraging one’s own talents, reveal a mature and growth-oriented mindset. The student’s aspiration to bring their ideas to life and contribute to the scientific community underscores a strong sense of purpose and ambition. This forward-looking perspective, combined with a proven track record of success in challenging environments, makes the student a compelling candidate for any academic program.

US Essay #3

“Nam-myo-ho-renge-kyo”

The chant gave the funeral a more somber tone. As I said my goodbyes to my grandmother, Obaba, and looked back on her life, I took comfort in knowing that the important lessons that she taught me will continue to guide me. I remembered the same soft melodious chant reverberating around Obaba’s prayer room. Just Obaba and I in this haven of peace. I was five years old, sitting attentively on the tatami mat next to her, chanting Lotus Sutra, a Buddhist chant that extols the significance of compassion.

By eight years old, I was accustomed to rising at daybreak, walking through the mist to visit the temple and offer prayers to my ancestors. At ten, clothed in a white robe, I ascended the towering 3,783-foot expanse of Minobu Mountain with my family on a pilgrimage to experience a monk’s daily lifestyle. Obaba started this tradition in 1950; my family has upheld it ever since.

Obviously, at such a young age, I didn’t fully understand the deep significance of these religious practices: reciting morning Sutras, offering prayers, nightly expressions of gratitude to my ancestors, nor the religious talisman I wore. At times, prayers floated above my little head while I dozed off. Other times, I was simply bored. But when Obaba passed away, something changed.

After her death, I felt compelled to explore Buddhism at a deeper level to understand the source of Obaba’s boundless kindness and resilience. In her 101 years, she’d climbed the mountain annually for more than half a century, and now I felt the urge to practice Buddhism. I dove in by reading the classic texts–The Metta Sutta, The Lankavatara Sutra, and The Kalama Sutta. While I understood the meaning of the words, they didn’t reach my heart. It wasn't until I began to do the daily practice that Buddhism began to unveil its revelations.

Slowly, it dawned on me: Buddhism's essence lies in “compassion.” By immersing myself in active practice, I came to recognize Buddhism's role as a hub of social support. Its compassionate teachings played a pivotal role in helping my Obaba navigate the challenges of World War II and cultivate a lifelong spirit of empathy. Obaba was an inspiration to people from all walks of life, and they’d often seek her to pour out their problems. She’d lend a patient ear and offer advice or simply provide a comforting presence. Obaba led a life dedicated to service. She worked on cultivating her inner peace, which enabled her to assist others in their own journey towards inner tranquility. It became clear to me this was the lesson I’d been seeking all along.

Throughout the pandemic, I became increasingly aware of the struggles within the Buddhist community, where many people experienced significant economic hardship. Embracing Obaba's legacy as my guiding spirit, I initiated a video project for the Buddhist community, since in-person gatherings were restricted. Every morning, after cleaning the temple, I arranged my equipment to create relevant content for our community. These videos featured meditation sessions, insightful teachings from revered monks, and highlights of our community's events.

In the beginning, doubt gnawed at me. Would anyone be interested in online sessions? However, as heartfelt comments poured in, my anxieties dissolved, replaced by a determination to provide more for our community. It was, then, that I recognized how compassion for each of the community members is crucial in cultivating a sense of unity. Through this experience, I gleaned the profound importance of extending compassion by harnessing my own skills to uplift my community members during challenging times, including the pandemic–similar to what Obaba did during WWII.

Having said that, I am who I am today because Obaba exemplified what compassion and resilience are. As a result, I hold her as my role model, aspiring to adopt her qualities by becoming an individual who extends compassion and care to others within the community.

  • Emotional and Personal Connection: This essay immediately draws the reader in with its heartfelt reflection on the passing of the student's grandmother, Obaba. The vivid descriptions of childhood memories, such as chanting the Lotus Sutra and climbing Minobu Mountain, create a deep emotional connection. The student’s journey from not fully understanding the religious practices to finding profound meaning in them after Obaba’s death demonstrates personal growth and a strong emotional connection to their heritage and family traditions.
  • Demonstration of Compassion and Community Engagement: The student’s active engagement in the Buddhist community, especially during the pandemic, is highly commendable. Initiating a video project to support the community highlights the student’s leadership, initiative, and compassion. This act of service not only illustrates their ability to adapt to challenging circumstances but also their commitment to helping others, reflecting the teachings of Buddhism and the legacy of Obaba. The essay effectively shows how the student embodies the values of compassion and resilience learned from their grandmother.
  • Cultural Insight and Reflective Growth: The essay provides a rich cultural insight into Buddhist practices and their significance within the student’s life. The detailed account of religious rituals, texts, and the role of Buddhism as a source of social support offers a unique perspective. The student’s reflective growth, from questioning the relevance of these practices to embracing them fully, highlights a mature understanding of their cultural and spiritual identity. This reflective journey, combined with a strong sense of purpose and aspiration to follow in Obaba’s footsteps, makes the essay both inspiring and deeply personal.

US Essay #4

The piercing sound of the school bell marked the end of the day. But I found myself reluctant to exit the classroom. I didn’t want to go home.

While growing up as an only child allowed me to enjoy all the attention focused from my parents, it also meant that I was faced with high expectations. Since they have always worked hard and would often return home late, I felt that cooking dinner was my way of giving back to my family.

Cooking was not easy, and this was especially true of Chinese dishes. While I am no professional, I have improved rapidly over the years. From changing how I slice the pork belly to adapting the proportion of oyster sauce I use, I have always taken satisfaction in refining every detail to optimize the taste of my dishes so that my parents could enjoy a hearty meal after an exhausting day. Cooking was more than a chore - cooking Chinese food and eating it at the round table at the end of the day was my language to connect with my busy parents. I felt I would disappoint them if I messed up the dish.

And so, inevitably, cooking turned out to be the most stressful part of my daily routine. At the end of every school day, the sparks of knowledge acquired would quickly be extinguished by my anxious thoughts of what to cook that night. Walking towards the kitchen, I would notice my pace slowing down. I was worried that even one mistake would completely ruin the dish. And so, I was more careful in the style I tossed the fried rice and was more afraid to experiment with different spices that I infused in my Kung Pao chicken. As the screeching tires signaled the arrival of my parents, I could feel my heart drumming; in a matter of minutes, my food would be judged and critiqued. The pressure of this routine started to smother my enjoyment of cooking.

A couple of years ago, I was asked to cook for my Taoist community for the ‘Birthday of Quan Yin’ festival. I was excited to connect with my community through my cooking skills. I proudly pulled out the wok, threw in the ingredients, and focused on the tempo of sizzling, as the perfect ‘wok hay’ aroma of ‘char kuey teow’ was unleashed into the air. I poured my passion, mastery, and love for my culinary heritage into the dish and forgot about everything else. As I was distributing the food onto plastic plates, I was startled by my mother standing right behind me.

“Smells good, son,” she said. The single sentence wasn’t just any compliment - it expressed emphatic approval after years of fastidious evaluation of my dishes.

Looking back, my self-discipline and perfectionism, which my culture considers as admirable traits, had created fear and pressure in everything I did, preventing me from enjoying my passion for cooking and sharing a meal. I always thought that this was caused by the high expectations set by my parents. From my enjoyable experience of connecting people through my cooking, I realized that all along it was my own expectation of my parents’ approval that fueled me to set ever higher expectations for myself.

While I cannot deny these very expectations are what led me to accomplish things that I thought were not possible athletically or academically, I am now aware that my passion for cooking would have slowly deteriorated if I only focused on the results. And, perhaps most importantly, I consider this experience a great metaphor for other things in life: even if the noodles are too salty or otak-otak slightly overcooked, as long as I pour my passion into it, enjoy myself in the process, and share my joy with the people I love, we will be having a hearty meal.

  • Vivid and Relatable Storytelling: This essay captivates the reader with a relatable and vivid narrative. The detailed descriptions of the student’s cooking experiences, from slicing pork belly to tossing fried rice, provide a sensory-rich account that draws the reader in. The progression from cooking as a stressful obligation to a joyful and communal activity is compelling and relatable, highlighting the student's growth and introspection. The story effectively illustrates the challenges and rewards of balancing high expectations with personal enjoyment.
  • Cultural and Familial Connection: The essay beautifully intertwines the student’s cultural heritage with their family dynamics. The act of cooking Chinese dishes and sharing meals at the round table serves as a powerful metaphor for connection and communication within the family. Additionally, the mention of cooking for the Taoist community adds depth, showing the student’s engagement with their cultural and religious traditions. This connection to culture and family provides a rich backdrop to the student’s personal journey, making the essay both meaningful and authentic.
  • Reflection and Personal Growth: The student’s reflection on the pressures of high expectations and the realisation that these were largely self-imposed is profound. The shift from focusing on results to embracing the process and sharing joy with loved ones demonstrates significant personal growth and maturity. The essay conveys a valuable life lesson about finding balance and passion in one’s pursuits. This introspective quality, combined with the student's ability to articulate their thoughts and feelings, makes the essay insightful and inspiring, showcasing the student’s readiness for future challenges and growth.

US Essay #5

At 6, I really wanted to be a swan. A peculiar profession to most, this impassioned declaration was often met with baffled stares. Luckily, the reality was much more attainable: I wanted to be the White Swan from the classic Swan Lake. Gazing upwards from my booster seat at my first ballet, I grew enamoured by the unparalleled grace of the White Swan. Entranced, I pictured myself in her dainty little shoes floating across the stage. An excitement quelled in my chest–the early embers that would spark into a raging flame. No matter what, I will be the next White Swan.

Fast forward ten years and I can barely do a split! Forget backbends or leaps, I’ve yet to grasp the baseline for flexibility. It appears that as I grow older, I become less like the graceful swan I once aspired to become and more like Big Bird. I lack natural grace and elegance. My hips are stubbornly turned inwards and standing in the basic ‘fifth-position’ hurts my joints. My non-existent stamina deters me from sustaining high jumps through a routine. It seems that my only aptitude in dance is making every move look more laborious than it already is.

All around me I see friends excelling at their passions, boasting shelves of trophies and accolades. Meanwhile, I’m still struggling to attain a ‘distinction’ grade in my ballet exam. Merit grade’s not bad, but not very good either. I’ve watched my ballet classmates covet and achieve solo opportunities, while I remain shrouded in the background of ensemble dancers. I’ve watched them walk out the studio glowing with satisfaction after mastering a move, while I stay back, alone, fumbling with the exact same step.

Somehow, despite the frustration, passion would still drive me to attend every rehearsal, fraying countless ballet-slippers. I’ve gone on painfully restrictive diets all in a bid to achieve the ideal ‘ballerina’ physique. I’ve committed to demanding workout plans to build up my stamina, and dedicated myself to a consistent stretching regimen to increase flexibility. I’ve done all I could, ticked off all the prerequisites for progress, and yet I’ve plateaued in my ballet skills. I’ve trusted the process, but it seems that the process has failed me.

But here’s the thing: I still love ballet. Despite the adversities, I still find myself yearning to slip on my slippers and perform my routines. Invariably, I find myself loving dance.

Maybe it’s because the beauty of passion is the courage to continue even in the face of failure. Through this arduous journey I’ve learned that passion isn’t the brilliant spark of a raging fire, but the muted embers that glow, unwaveringly. It doesn’t matter if I fail to achieve my splits or ‘distinctions,’ because I’ve come to appreciate the gnawing ache in my legs as I leap and pirouette, and respect my ardour in continuing every dance despite mistakes and cramps. Passion isn't the extreme highs and lows of victory; it’s the persistent fight in enduring what we do, for the sake of doing what we love. I don’t enjoy the pain, nor the disappointment, but it’s these factors that are testaments to my depth of passion. Passion does not equate to greatness, but I don’t dance for greatness. I dance for the people. The lessons. The understanding of a beautiful art form.

Now when I watch ballet, I no longer envision myself as the dancer on stage. I’ve stopped dreaming of a career on stage. I no longer proudly showcase my routines to my family. But I haven’t stopped showing up, giving my all, and most importantly, enjoying it. Maybe I’ll never be a white swan, but that’s irrelevant. Because I know that I'll keep dancing for a long time to come. The truth behind doing what we love is that we never stop fighting for it, no matter the cost. Such is the beauty of passion.

  • Authenticity and Perseverance: This essay stands out for its authenticity and raw honesty. The student’s journey from a childhood dream of becoming the White Swan to facing the harsh realities of their limitations in ballet is portrayed with genuine emotion. Despite not achieving the lofty goals they set for themselves, the student’s continued dedication to ballet, even in the face of persistent challenges and setbacks, showcases an admirable level of perseverance. This genuine reflection on their experiences highlights the student’s resilience and commitment, making the essay relatable and impactful.
  • Deep Understanding of Passion: The student’s evolving understanding of what true passion entails is a central theme that adds depth to the essay. The shift from seeing passion as a path to greatness to recognizing it as the courage to persist despite failure is profound. The student articulates this realisation eloquently, showing a mature perspective on the nature of dedication and love for an art form. This nuanced understanding of passion, illustrated through personal anecdotes and reflections, provides a compelling narrative that resonates with the reader.
  • Engaging and Relatable Narrative: The essay is engaging and relatable, filled with vivid descriptions and a touch of humour. The contrast between the student’s initial dreams and the reality of their ballet skills is depicted in a way that is both poignant and endearing. The student’s self-awareness and ability to find joy in the process, rather than the outcome, offer valuable life lessons. This narrative not only captures the reader’s attention but also leaves a lasting impression of the student’s character, making it a memorable and effective personal statement.

Tips on writing effective personal statements

Now that you’ve reviewed several successful personal statements, you may have noticed some recurring themes. Here are a few tips on how to write an impactful personal statement!

1. Start early

You can’t rush a personal statement so start early! This gives you ample time to brainstorm and plan ahead. As it might be intimidating to approach a blank page and begin writing, it’s important to first plan what you intend to write . We suggest using lists and diagrams like mind maps to visualise potential key topics and how they may be connected. Outlining your personal statement before you begin writing helps keep your thoughts organised and ensures a smooth flow.

Your reader already knows the who but what about the why ? If you’re stuck on what to write about, the why is a useful starting point for your brainstorming . Reflect on your unique experiences and values and think about why you intend to study in the chosen discipline. Which experience sparked your interest?

You should also research the specific courses and universities that you are interested in before you begin writing to learn more about their requirements and expectations. Use this to carefully align your narrative with the university’s values. For UK personal statements, try to make it evident that you’ve done your research by highlighting the relevant knowledge, experiences, and qualities that you have in your essay.

2. Practice makes perfect

Crafting an outstanding personal statement requires plenty of practice! Your first draft is unlikely to be perfect so don’t be discouraged by the number of revisions you’ll need.

Start by writing freely and ignoring the word or character limit. Aim to include everything you want to cover in your final draft, and don’t worry if it’s too long as you can refine it later. Nevertheless, always keep the purpose of your personal statement in mind throughout the drafting process to stay on track. If you’re writing a UCAS personal statement, ensure that the reader can clearly understand your expertise and academic goals. For US applications, the reader should understand your unique identity and characteristics better. Keep on practising and editing until your essay's message is clear and impactful!

3. Showcase a reflective nature

Strong personal statements are authentic and reflective . However, while you may have encountered a lot of significant experiences, what happened to the student is often less important than how they processed and understood it . As such, try to reflect deeply on those key moments and ask yourself questions like “how did that event make me a better person” and “how has it changed the way I view myself or the world”. It’s okay to be vulnerable in your essay so be honest in your reflection. It’s important to highlight your journey of personal growth and self-discovery as it can demonstrate your level of maturity and emotional depth.

For UCAS essays, connecting your reflection to what you intend to study is essential . For instance, it could influence your motivation to pursue your chosen discipline or contribute to your knowledge and experience in a subject matter. Ultimately, it should prove your passion and enthusiasm for your chosen discipline.

Expand on your reflection and conclude your essay with an optimistic future outlook. Try to link your experiences and the lessons you’ve learned with your goals and how they’ve prepared you for your future academic and professional pathways. For example, you can elaborate on how your involvement in STEM research has inspired your altruistic aim to advance and benefit humanity. The key here is to highlight your journey and show how your experiences have shaped your future ambitions and actions.

4. Highlight your passion

Especially for US personal statements, letting your passion shine through in your essay is a great way for the admissions officer to understand you better . You need not mention everything you’re passionate about so select one or a few that you can integrate into your narrative. You can even use them to set the tone and foundation for your personal statement.

In the previous essays, notice how these students have cleverly capitalised on their passion to drive their narratives and demonstrate their journey of personal growth. They combine their passion with their life experiences, reflect on the challenges and growth they’ve encountered, and draw connections to meaningful lessons, making their essays memorable and insightful. In fact, highlighting how you’ve changed through your passion offers key insights into your characteristics and mindset!

5. Proofread the final draft

The spelling, grammar, and structure of your essay is crucial so be meticulous when proofreading . While content is important, your writing skills bring the best stories to life. Read your final draft aloud multiple times and see if it flows well. Watch for any awkward phrases, jarring transactions, and grammatical or spelling errors as they can undermine even the strongest essays.

Ask yourself these questions as you read your personal statement: do my ideas connect logically, is my writing engaging and succinct, and are there any segments that can be cut or expanded on? A strong essay should be cohesive with every element seamlessly woven into its narrative - nothing should feel out of place. Also, ensure that you’ve covered all the key points from your initial outline.

Seek feedback from as many people as possible as it’s useful to get external perspectives. Share a copy with a trusted friend, teacher, mentor, or family member, and ask for an impartial review. If the overall narrative isn’t clear, consider revisiting and refining it.

Identifying and overcoming common mistakes

Writing a personal statement is a challenging endeavour and many mistakes can be made during the process. Here are a few common mistakes and how you can avoid them!

1. Overlooking your audience

A common mistake students make is losing sight of their audience. Be mindful of your writing style as it varies depending on the country you’re intending to apply to . For the UCAS personal statement, students often adopt a flowery writing style to tell a story instead of being direct and factual. Remember, the aim of the UCAS personal statement is to highlight your expertise, academic goals, and vision for your time in university. Make sure that every element of your essay is aligned with these areas. 

For the US on the other hand, many students assume that difficult and emotional personal topics make the best essays. However, not all strong personal statements are about hardship. You should only write about such experiences if they are authentic and have shaped your life in some way. It’s essential to genuinely reflect on your life experiences so avoid writing about a topic just for the sake of it.

2. Being redundant

The reader can see your entire application so your personal statement shouldn’t be a reiteration of it . You have a word limit so refrain from listing your accomplishments and grades that are already on your application. It’s your opportunity to show a different aspect of yourself so try to reveal something new. While you still might want to highlight a relevant achievement, don’t just list it in your essay, explain how this experience has impacted you!

3. Coming across as arrogant

Highlighting your unique experiences and strengths is important in your essay but be mindful of your tone . Be humble, the purpose of your essay is not to show that you are the best! There’s always room for improvement so avoid suggesting that you’ve already learned everything about yourself or a subject matter. Instead, try adopting a more forward-looking approach to show how you still strive for self-improvement despite your strengths. There’s always room for improvement!

4. Honesty is the best policy

Lying or exaggerating on your personal statement is a surefire way of setting yourself up for failure . Avoid making unsupported claims or over-exaggerating your accomplishments. If you’re called for an interview, the school may ask you thoroughly about the experiences that you’ve mentioned in your essay. They can also conduct background checks on your references and claims so it’s easy to get caught out in a lie. Your interviewers are likely to be experts themselves who can verify whether your experience is authentic, exaggerated, or false.

Be honest and only write about the things you have experienced . It may be tempting to embellish your personal statement to enhance your attractiveness but no experience is too small - it’s about what you get out of it. Even if you have limited practical experience in your chosen discipline, there are other ways to demonstrate your passion and motivation. Make your enthusiasm clear in your writing by expressing your desire to pursue a career in the specific field. You can talk about how your hobbies are related, the readings you have done, and how you keep up to date with current trends!

5. Focusing too much on storytelling

Many personal statements end up looking like a recount of the student’s personal life story . While some background information provides context to the personal statement, too much of it will dilute your essay’s purpose. If you’re writing for the US, be sure to stay on track and address the prompt that you’ve chosen. A well-organised structure will ensure that your personal statement remains focused. By the end of your essay, the reader should be able to take away some of your unique qualities and experiences, and understand your motivation behind pursuing your chosen discipline.

Recommended Timeline

Making consistent progress with your personal statement is vital. It guarantees ample time to organise and include all essential points, prevent errors, and thoroughly proofread.

Ideally, you want to start brainstorming at least four to six months before the deadline . This stage is meant for you to conduct an in-depth self-assessment, writing down all the points that can contribute to a compelling narrative. Before you can start writing, it's recommended to plan your essay four months before the deadline . Use visual diagrams and figure out which of the earlier points relate to one another. Here, you need to ensure that there is an overarching theme for your essay to remain focused and cohesive. Organise your key points into sections to create a logical structure for your personal statement. Once you’re done with the planning stage, aim to start writing your first draft two to four months before the due date . Focus on capturing the essence of your essay and remember to be authentic, concise, and positive. Lastly, share a copy with your trusted connections one to two months before the deadline, and proofread and make any necessary edits at least one month before! This gives you enough time to polish your essay to perfection before the final submission.

Need support with your personal statement and other aspects of applying to US and UK universities? Our experts are here to guide you through every step of the process. Contact us today for personalised assistance!

Have questions or need help? Connect with Crimson Education for expert advice and tailored support.

Key resources & further reading.

  • 10 Great Common App Essay Examples From Accepted Students
  • How To Answer the 2024-25 Common App Essay Prompts
  • A Love Letter to My Mum: Personal Statements That Pay Tribute to Our Greatest Supporters

About the Contributor

Jamie Beaton

Jamie Beaton

Jamie Beaton is the Co-founder and CEO of Crimson Education. With degrees from Harvard, Oxford, Stanford, Yale, and Tsinghua, Jamie is an educational innovator passionate about helping students reach their academic potential. He co-founded Crimson after gaining admission to 25 of the world's top universities. Under his leadership, Crimson has become the world's most successful university admissions consultancy, helping thousands gain entry into the Ivy League and other elite institutions.

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Engineering personal statement example 2.

Maths and physics have always fascinated me and from an early age I knew that it was in the science based subjects that my interests and greatest ability lay.

Although I have enjoyed the challenge that my school-based work has given me, I have always sought to extend my knowledge in these subject areas by considering the application of the theory we learn within the curriculum to the real world.

This desire to learn how theory can be applied in real life allowed me to greatly enjoy the mechanics modules of my further maths A-level to such a degree that I knew that engineering would be the ideal subject to study at the highest level.

While physics and maths give one the background skills needed to assure the validity of innovation and technology, engineering seeks to apply this simultaneously with a desire for products to satisfy consumer needs such as efficiency, safety and cost. In this way the skills learnt during my economics A-level would be of great use during a career in engineering.

In June I had the opportunity to spend a week on a Headstart course at Cambridge. The experience gained during the 4 days there which involved both learning theory and practical work, coupled with continued in depth reading of various fields of engineering, have further strengthened my desire to study this subject.

Being a sports person, I am greatly intrigued by the opportunities for the use of engineering in the sporting world. Having competed at county level in javelin I looked into how engineers have developed the javelin over the years from an iron spear used in Grecian times to the 800g carbon-fibre implement used today.

With the javelin, engineers have been forced to sacrifice their desire for an efficient product able to satisfy the needs of athletes with safety. While the athlete wishes to throw further and further, the spectator watching from the opposite end of the stadium also has his own needs!

This example of a u-turn in needs makes me question how much further technology can continue to develop at current rates without the need to make sacrifices itself. I have also captained my school's First team at lacrosse and played for my county. These sporting responsibilities have given me the invaluable experience of participating in and leading a team.

During my school years I have maintained high academic standards while also being able to hold numerous positions of responsibility and I have been consistently involved in extra-curricular activities. The time management skills gained through this will be vital in being able to successfully achieve high standards during a challenging university course.

Over the past year I have taken time to be an assistant sports teacher for young children, while I have also enjoyed the demands of being a form assistant to a first year class at school.

Not only have these positions allowed me to mature greatly, they have also aided my inter-personal skills. Though I hold the certificates of my academic successes I am fully aware that only it is only in combination with my logic, problem-solving and intuitive skills that my scholastic knowledge can be applied most effectively.

During a gap year I am keen to find, through the Year in Industry scheme, a long term placement with an engineering firm. By spending my time in this way, I believe that I will gain a far greater idea of engineering's place and importance in society.

The opportunity to mature and learn key skills will give me a far better stance from which to start a degree course. Aside from working, I am also hoping to travel during my gap year to gain a greater awareness of the world around me through interaction with new people, places and cultures.

ADDITIONAL PERSONAL STATEMENT FOR CAMBRIDGE FORM:

By not specialising in the first 2 years of a degree course, I believe that I would have the best chance to find where my true interests and talents lay in engineering. Though my A-level physics and maths courses have allowed me to begin to think where I would like to specialise, I do not consider that I am currently in a position to make an accurate decision on what area to dedicate my university degree to. The depth of theory into which the Cambridge engineering course delves is, I believe, the most suitable way of learning the subject if one is to be serious about following through into an engineering career. The timetabling of the course at Cambridge would also allow me to continue a large number of extra-curricular activities and simultaneously give me the opportunity to contribute greatly to college and university life.

Profile info

This personal statement was written by qpr4george for application in 2005.

qpr4george's Comments

I feel that this personal statement is both full of relevent information, but also portrays some of my own character too (note use of humour...and i still got in!) I also dropped in a couple of areas of my own interest combined with an engineering relevence (i.e. javelin throwing!) as bait for interviewers to pick up. Worked perfectly, as i was asked questions in my interviews that were based on these statements. Reading over the additional cambridge part (now that i am actually doing my degree there) i feel its not the greatest paragraph ever - it pretty much just re-tells everything we are told about the course in the open day. But as a support to my main personal statement i think its acceptable.

This personal statement is unrated

Related Personal Statements

Wow. awesome, can tell your a.

Thu, 11/09/2008 - 08:52

wow. awesome, can tell your a cambridge student! helped me loads writing my statement for electronical enginerring :D

Mon, 06/10/2008 - 16:59

God Damn! This personal statement tis on of the best i've read. I like the choice of words and use of language employed in this. it's sounds to becoming from a person seriously needing the Uni place and hardly sounds fictional which is great.

Brilliant statement thanks a

Sun, 01/09/2013 - 15:56

Brilliant statement thanks a lot. Where did you work on your gap year and where did you travel?

Add new comment

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